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1
00:00:00,414 --> 00:00:03,632
Whoo, JJ. I've got fantastic news.
2
00:00:03,635 --> 00:00:04,700
Dylan?
3
00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:05,598
[TUBA NOTE PLAYS]
4
00:00:05,601 --> 00:00:08,190
I found your perfect aide for college.
5
00:00:08,190 --> 00:00:09,555
I said play the trumpets.
6
00:00:09,558 --> 00:00:11,072
And I said 5 bucks.
7
00:00:11,074 --> 00:00:13,440
[TRUMPET PLAYS "WAH-WAH-WAAH"]
8
00:00:13,442 --> 00:00:16,862
This guy's good. His name is
Tim, and he's willing to relocate.
9
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:19,016
"Abilities Magazine"
named him one of the 30
10
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,584
hottest aides under 30.
11
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,857
And there's this thing where celebrities
12
00:00:21,859 --> 00:00:23,859
pre-hire aides in case
they get paralyzed.
13
00:00:23,859 --> 00:00:25,208
He's Jake Gyllenhaal's.
14
00:00:25,211 --> 00:00:27,247
The thing is, this Tim
guy lives in Seattle,
15
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:28,828
and he is in demand.
16
00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:30,284
If we want him, we've got to grab him.
17
00:00:30,286 --> 00:00:32,198
Maybe make a road trip out of it?
18
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,468
One last JJ adventure before college?
19
00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:35,735
- Did someone say "JJ adventure"?
- Aah!
20
00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:38,489
God, you just called
me from the supermarket.
21
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:41,380
"This isn't one of our
spontaneous road trips.
22
00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:44,141
They found a great aide for me to meet."
23
00:00:44,141 --> 00:00:46,187
Plus, we know you've been
looking for opportunities
24
00:00:46,189 --> 00:00:48,589
to make new JJ memories
before he's gone.
25
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,824
Do you know how much it turns me on
26
00:00:49,826 --> 00:00:51,654
when you engineer mummy-son moments?
27
00:00:51,657 --> 00:00:52,827
Ew.
28
00:00:52,829 --> 00:00:54,795
Well, I'd like to kick
the tires on this guy.
29
00:00:54,797 --> 00:00:57,398
And I'd love to see
Seattle... Check out Starbucks.
30
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,237
I'm not sure if the
first one's still there.
31
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,168
The first one's there?
32
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:01,696
All right! Road trip!
33
00:01:01,698 --> 00:01:04,098
Uh, Mom and Dad, too bad
this wasn't your idea.
34
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,701
You didn't have time to write
new lyrics to "Born To Be Wild".
35
00:01:06,703 --> 00:01:10,538
["BORN TO BE WILD"
PLAYS ON ELECTRIC GUITAR]
36
00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:12,629
Vamp. I'm almost there, darling.
37
00:01:12,632 --> 00:01:15,576
♪ Annual DiMeo road trip ♪
38
00:01:15,578 --> 00:01:19,247
♪ We didn't have time to practice ♪
39
00:01:19,249 --> 00:01:22,083
♪ I wrote this in ten seconds ♪
40
00:01:22,085 --> 00:01:25,188
♪ So please give us a break ♪
41
00:01:26,556 --> 00:01:30,624
♪ It's a rug frog with a destitution ♪
42
00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:32,927
♪ We've never dug one of these bagels ♪
43
00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:36,731
♪ Just read what I wrote, darling ♪
44
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:39,934
♪ I think I need glasses ♪
45
00:01:39,936 --> 00:01:41,502
A little further away?
46
00:01:41,504 --> 00:01:43,271
Not their best work.
47
00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:47,108
♪ Not our best work ♪
48
00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:51,178
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
49
00:01:51,181 --> 00:01:53,513
Let's play 20 questions. I'll go first.
50
00:01:53,516 --> 00:01:55,296
Why do you think I'm dressed like this?
51
00:01:55,299 --> 00:01:57,730
Does it trouble you that
we've been driving for hours
52
00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:59,253
and no one's cared to ask?
53
00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:01,022
Yes. 19 left.
54
00:02:01,024 --> 00:02:02,757
Why are you dressed this way, Ray?
55
00:02:02,759 --> 00:02:04,692
Well, I realized my college résumé
56
00:02:04,694 --> 00:02:06,160
was a pile of human waste.
57
00:02:06,162 --> 00:02:08,262
So I decided to join the Eagle Scouts
58
00:02:08,264 --> 00:02:10,865
and beef up my extracurriculars.
59
00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:14,936
- It's a little noose-y.
- Look, Kenneth.
60
00:02:14,938 --> 00:02:18,472
An old friend wants to say "Hello."
61
00:02:18,475 --> 00:02:20,641
The JJ care manual!
62
00:02:20,643 --> 00:02:22,543
Hello, Kenneth, my old friend.
63
00:02:22,545 --> 00:02:26,014
Now it's time to share
me with another newbie.
64
00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:27,916
But we've been through a lot, Kenneth.
65
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:29,311
We are going to miss you.
66
00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:33,907
Binder, you said "we."
67
00:02:36,559 --> 00:02:38,335
The binder's right, Kenneth.
68
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,863
Pop, I don't want to overuse
the "Are we there yet?",
69
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:47,194
but stuff's getting weird back here.
70
00:02:47,197 --> 00:02:49,669
Our timing's gonna depend
on how many more unscheduled
71
00:02:49,672 --> 00:02:52,272
mother-son photo ops
your mom tries to jam in.
72
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:54,542
Ooh! An ordinary bird. Quick, stop.
73
00:02:54,544 --> 00:02:57,085
RAY: How many more pictures with JJ?
74
00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:59,319
All of these stops
are making me carsick.
75
00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:01,546
Ray, you know the
DiMeo road trip rule...
76
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,129
Getting carsick isn't a choice...
77
00:03:03,129 --> 00:03:06,263
ALL: But letting the
vomit leave your mouth is.
78
00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:07,822
Ooh! Make a right here.
79
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:14,471
And then a left to get
back on the real road?
80
00:03:14,473 --> 00:03:15,821
No, no, no. It's a shortcut.
81
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:16,920
[SCOFFING]
82
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:18,289
[ALL SHOUT]
83
00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:20,874
I wouldn't go down
that way if I was you.
84
00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:25,538
Road's mighty bumpy, and
those tires look a little bald.
85
00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:26,863
You're bald.
86
00:03:26,865 --> 00:03:29,229
[LAUGHTER]
87
00:03:29,229 --> 00:03:30,890
Sorry, but you did set me up.
88
00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:33,130
Anyway, my map's
telling me this shortcut
89
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:35,233
gets us to Seattle two hours early.
90
00:03:35,235 --> 00:03:37,468
Your funeral.
91
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:42,974
[LAUGHS LOUDLY]
92
00:03:42,976 --> 00:03:46,053
So... what are we thinking about that?
93
00:03:46,053 --> 00:03:49,055
I think we're DiMeos and
we can handle a few bumps.
94
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:55,632
♪
95
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,901
[THUDDING]
96
00:03:57,903 --> 00:04:01,141
Just two more miles like this,
then we hit a gas station.
97
00:04:01,144 --> 00:04:02,640
[ALL SCREAM]
98
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,710
Then 30 more miles like this.
99
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,379
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
100
00:04:13,018 --> 00:04:16,319
I told you we should've
listened to that old man!
101
00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:18,922
Yep, that's a rock.
102
00:04:18,924 --> 00:04:20,499
Boom! Geology badge.
103
00:04:20,499 --> 00:04:22,900
"Do we have spare tires?"
104
00:04:22,902 --> 00:04:24,068
Sure do.
105
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:26,572
Been driving on them for four years.
106
00:04:27,311 --> 00:04:29,573
All right. Anybody have any reception?
107
00:04:30,943 --> 00:04:32,070
Aha!
108
00:04:32,578 --> 00:04:34,011
I found a quarter.
109
00:04:34,013 --> 00:04:34,833
Helpful, Dylan.
110
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:37,089
You going for a jealousy badge, Scout?
111
00:04:37,091 --> 00:04:38,558
Maybe someone will come along
112
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,958
and I could stop them
with a flash of ankle.
113
00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:42,328
JIMMY: I don't think anyone's coming.
114
00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,096
We should probably just roll the tires
115
00:04:44,099 --> 00:04:45,384
to that gas station up the road.
116
00:04:45,387 --> 00:04:47,283
"I'll take one. Lay it on me."
117
00:04:47,283 --> 00:04:49,049
Come on, dirt road selfie time, JJ.
118
00:04:49,051 --> 00:04:50,119
Oh!
119
00:04:52,855 --> 00:04:53,921
- [SPLASHING]
- Aah!
120
00:04:53,923 --> 00:04:55,122
Maya's JJ bible!
121
00:04:55,124 --> 00:04:56,123
Ow!
122
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,876
Oh, my hitchhiking ankle!
123
00:04:57,876 --> 00:04:59,523
Who would want you now?
124
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:01,412
On a scale of 1 to 10,
what's your pain level?
125
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:02,958
Aah! 2!
126
00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:04,148
Help me up.
127
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,349
Ahh. Ah!
128
00:05:05,351 --> 00:05:07,851
I'm fine to walk into town with JJ.
129
00:05:07,853 --> 00:05:08,919
Watch me.
130
00:05:08,922 --> 00:05:10,021
Aah!
131
00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:12,389
Aah! [WHIMPERS]
132
00:05:12,391 --> 00:05:14,425
And so on.
133
00:05:14,427 --> 00:05:16,115
JJ, you better stay here with your mom.
134
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,882
I'll take the tires into town myself.
135
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,119
"How will you carry two flat tires?"
136
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,556
[LAUGHS] Check this out.
137
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,392
Ah... Oh.
138
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,897
[GRUNTS]
139
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,233
Son of a...
140
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,443
[GRUNTING]
141
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:39,940
So heavy.
142
00:05:42,371 --> 00:05:43,512
And so on.
143
00:05:43,515 --> 00:05:44,815
No!
144
00:05:44,817 --> 00:05:47,021
The book... It fell in the river!
145
00:05:47,021 --> 00:05:49,255
The pages, they... They washed away.
146
00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:50,457
My life's work.
147
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:52,682
And the only thing that
gave your life meaning.
148
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,961
- What should we do?
- We got to re-create it
149
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,565
while it is still fresh in my mind.
150
00:05:57,466 --> 00:05:59,268
I will help you, my friend.
151
00:06:00,329 --> 00:06:01,682
"We need to hurry.
152
00:06:01,682 --> 00:06:03,687
The woods are making them weird."
153
00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:04,956
I'll go, too.
154
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,351
This quarter is burning
a hole in my pocket.
155
00:06:07,354 --> 00:06:08,649
Okay, but I want to
make something clear.
156
00:06:08,651 --> 00:06:10,662
We're not gonna have any
fun and we're not gonna make
157
00:06:10,664 --> 00:06:13,398
any memories that your mom might
feel like she's missing out on.
158
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,866
MAYA: Yes, don't enjoy yourselves.
159
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:16,351
That is all I ask.
160
00:06:16,354 --> 00:06:17,769
[GROANS] Ray, you coming?
161
00:06:17,771 --> 00:06:18,837
Hardly.
162
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,841
A scout's place is in the jungle.
163
00:06:20,844 --> 00:06:23,742
Th... This is not a-a...
164
00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:24,976
We'll be back soon.
165
00:06:24,978 --> 00:06:27,446
All right. Page 1...
166
00:06:27,448 --> 00:06:29,047
Welcome to the family.
167
00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:34,250
BOTH: You are not, nor will you
ever be good enough for this.
168
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,007
Y'all need a mechanic?
169
00:06:38,010 --> 00:06:40,598
"Didn't we just see you on the road?"
170
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,137
Oh, that must have been my brother.
171
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,384
He likes to warn travelers
about that bumpy road.
172
00:06:44,387 --> 00:06:46,387
The mechanic will be back soon enough.
173
00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,511
Y'all can wait in the
diner across the way.
174
00:06:49,179 --> 00:06:51,546
"World's best waffles?
175
00:06:51,549 --> 00:06:53,382
Let's make them prove it."
176
00:06:53,384 --> 00:06:55,151
And I can spend my quarter.
177
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,652
I've been holding it so long,
178
00:06:56,654 --> 00:06:58,530
the Dumbledore guy's printed on my palm.
179
00:06:58,530 --> 00:06:59,814
JIMMY: I don't know, guys.
180
00:06:59,817 --> 00:07:02,050
It's not a great look for
us to be eating waffles
181
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,432
while the rest of them
are stranded in the woods.
182
00:07:04,432 --> 00:07:05,734
Let's just stay here.
183
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,068
Or in a seat with a view of here.
184
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:14,103
Expectations low.
185
00:07:14,105 --> 00:07:15,805
This will be empty and depressing.
186
00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:18,975
♪
187
00:07:18,977 --> 00:07:22,111
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
188
00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:25,081
♪
189
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,185
Man, your worldview is flawed.
190
00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:29,534
RAY: I'm off to forage.
191
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:32,599
I'm gonna bring some extra
sustenance just in case.
192
00:07:32,599 --> 00:07:35,534
Hey, how do you make a,
uh, a scout journal dance?
193
00:07:35,536 --> 00:07:38,270
Put a little jerky in it.
194
00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:39,705
Not sure that makes sense.
195
00:07:39,707 --> 00:07:41,173
He likes a clever exit line.
196
00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:42,942
So hilarious, darling.
197
00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:44,744
- Well done.
- Yeah, bye.
198
00:07:44,746 --> 00:07:46,645
All right, where were we?
199
00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:47,985
Let's double back to the prologue.
200
00:07:47,985 --> 00:07:50,686
"And in the beginning,
there was JJ and Maya.
201
00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:54,247
And the JJ was with Maya, and
the JJ was Maya... " Oh, no.
202
00:07:54,247 --> 00:07:55,360
That can't be right, can it?
203
00:07:55,362 --> 00:07:56,728
No, that's what you wrote.
204
00:07:56,728 --> 00:07:59,481
It is so much harder to
re-create it in my mind.
205
00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:02,149
Well, if you're stumped,
then I have very good news.
206
00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:04,099
I made a copy,
207
00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:07,730
and I brought mine to show Tim, too!
208
00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:11,267
Oh, Kenneth, I could kiss you...
209
00:08:11,269 --> 00:08:12,820
if it weren't strictly prohibited
210
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:15,407
in the section on
mother-helper interactions.
211
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,195
You changed it.
212
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,710
[LAUGHS] I sure did.
213
00:08:19,712 --> 00:08:23,113
With Care Book 2.0,
JJ's ready for anything.
214
00:08:23,115 --> 00:08:25,539
I made a few changes,
made some corrections.
215
00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:27,851
Oh, it's way better.
216
00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:29,419
[CHUCKLES]
217
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,730
Oh, Maya...
218
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,537
you've suddenly developed
an unrelated eye twitch.
219
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:37,001
- Wow.
- Mmm.
220
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:41,475
"These really are the world's
best waffles. Try one, Dad."
221
00:08:42,242 --> 00:08:43,572
No, I don't need breakfast.
222
00:08:43,572 --> 00:08:47,476
I just need this mechanic to
get back from his break, fast.
223
00:08:48,932 --> 00:08:50,507
Just a couple flats,
guys. Okay to laugh.
224
00:08:50,507 --> 00:08:52,292
Hey, Mabel or something like that.
225
00:08:52,295 --> 00:08:54,350
What kind of trouble
can I get into with this?
226
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:56,551
We got prize machines in the back.
227
00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:58,029
A machine for 25 cents?!
228
00:08:58,032 --> 00:08:59,887
[GASPS]
229
00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:01,455
She'll figure it out.
230
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,456
Mm-hmm.
231
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,758
[BELL JINGLES]
232
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,313
I'm sorry I'm not that much fun.
233
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:06,779
We just got to get out of here.
234
00:09:06,781 --> 00:09:08,995
Aren't you nervous about
missing the big Tim meeting?
235
00:09:08,998 --> 00:09:10,709
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
236
00:09:10,712 --> 00:09:13,187
"I'm nervous about a lot.
237
00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:14,915
Can I ask you something?
238
00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:16,788
Don't tell Mom."
239
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,524
W... Just a... father-son powwow?
240
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:20,725
Just for fathers and sons?
241
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,860
No moms or siblings allowed?
242
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:23,964
Sure, sure.
243
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:29,792
"College is starting to feel real now...
244
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:31,696
Being on my own
245
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:35,064
without you or Mom or Kenneth.
246
00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:36,966
How do I meet people?
247
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,537
It's hard for me."
248
00:09:40,605 --> 00:09:44,741
Buddy, college is the
place to be nonverbal.
249
00:09:44,743 --> 00:09:46,743
All anybody wants to do
is talk about themselves.
250
00:09:46,745 --> 00:09:49,204
You ask a question and just let them go.
251
00:09:49,204 --> 00:09:50,274
But you're great,
252
00:09:50,277 --> 00:09:51,938
and people will see that.
253
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:54,608
It... It can be a slow start.
254
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,610
It was for me.
255
00:09:56,612 --> 00:09:57,813
I think I ended up okay.
256
00:09:59,822 --> 00:10:01,714
"Ending up like you?
257
00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:03,160
I'll take it."
258
00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:07,995
It's nice to get to talk like this.
259
00:10:09,664 --> 00:10:11,497
You know what? I'll take a bite.
260
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:16,177
♪
261
00:10:16,177 --> 00:10:16,918
Wow.
262
00:10:16,918 --> 00:10:17,950
Wow!
263
00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,985
Oh, wow. Mechanic's back.
264
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,187
Mm. Practice meeting someone.
265
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,058
Get, like, 100 more of these.
266
00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:27,827
This is wrong.
267
00:10:27,829 --> 00:10:29,643
Incomplete.
268
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:31,314
"Tactics for handling Maya."
269
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,995
Damn it, this would actually work.
270
00:10:33,998 --> 00:10:36,768
Maya, relax. I just filled in some gaps.
271
00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:39,583
Oh, so now you think you can
teach me about caring for JJ?
272
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:41,641
Okay, I'm sensing some tension.
273
00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:44,015
Let me work towards
my communication badge
274
00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:45,608
by practicing mediation
275
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,384
while eating some
probably-not-poisonous plants
276
00:10:48,384 --> 00:10:50,116
for my wilderness survival badge.
277
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,184
Mom... tell Kenneth how you feel.
278
00:10:56,733 --> 00:10:59,767
I feel like Kenneth is
second-guessing my ability
279
00:10:59,769 --> 00:11:02,111
to care for JJ with his
book of secrets and lies.
280
00:11:02,114 --> 00:11:03,315
Kenneth.
281
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,808
[GAGS]
282
00:11:07,810 --> 00:11:10,021
I feel that Maya doesn't appreciate
283
00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:13,289
the strides JJ has
taken since he met me.
284
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,103
And she is jealous that my book
285
00:11:15,103 --> 00:11:16,896
- covers everything!
- Now...
286
00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:18,410
I think Kenneth is an ungrateful stooge.
287
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:20,296
And I feel like you can kiss my ass!
288
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:23,466
Great. Now that the, uh,
conflict has been resolved...
289
00:11:23,468 --> 00:11:24,565
- Get out!
- Make me!
290
00:11:24,568 --> 00:11:25,619
Oh.
291
00:11:26,905 --> 00:11:28,744
Wh... Get back here with that book!
292
00:11:28,747 --> 00:11:30,006
See ya!
293
00:11:30,008 --> 00:11:31,801
Aah! Are you insane?!
294
00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:33,801
JJ's best pickup lines are in there.
295
00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:34,905
Aah.
296
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,089
Decisions, decisions, huh?
297
00:11:38,089 --> 00:11:40,394
The obvious choice is the bouncy ball...
298
00:11:40,396 --> 00:11:42,262
The classic. What are you thinking?
299
00:11:42,264 --> 00:11:43,463
I'm just waiting to use the restroom.
300
00:11:43,465 --> 00:11:44,990
But, I mean, that tattoo...
301
00:11:44,993 --> 00:11:48,416
Just the fact that the sun
itself is wearing sunglasses...
302
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,027
that makes you think.
303
00:11:50,027 --> 00:11:52,562
Yeah. You're gonna want
to think on it on the can.
304
00:11:52,564 --> 00:11:54,280
Yell it out when it comes to you.
305
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,802
Uh, hello?
306
00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:01,466
Oh, so you are the mechanic.
307
00:12:01,466 --> 00:12:03,161
Or... are you the one from the road?
308
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:05,268
Sounds like you been
talking to my two brothers...
309
00:12:05,271 --> 00:12:07,023
One of whom likes to warn travelers
310
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,372
about the bumpy road,
311
00:12:08,374 --> 00:12:10,656
the other who tells people I'm not here.
312
00:12:10,659 --> 00:12:12,901
Sure. Listen, I've got a couple flats.
313
00:12:12,904 --> 00:12:15,345
Yeah, I can patch them quick.
Now, if you want new ones,
314
00:12:15,348 --> 00:12:17,082
I'll have to go to the next town over.
315
00:12:17,082 --> 00:12:18,251
You'd be here a while.
316
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,855
Stuck here with my son?
317
00:12:21,857 --> 00:12:23,791
Well, if the new ones are safer.
318
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:25,152
Nope, never said that.
319
00:12:25,155 --> 00:12:26,961
Yeah, I'll be in the
diner when they're ready.
320
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,785
[CAT STEVENS' "FATHER AND SON" PLAYS]
321
00:12:29,788 --> 00:12:30,797
Well, you did it.
322
00:12:30,797 --> 00:12:32,081
Broke the record for eating
323
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,859
the most waffles in one sitting.
324
00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,665
Oh! Ye... Yeah.
325
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,867
Yeah, no, great. I did it.
326
00:12:36,869 --> 00:12:38,757
How'd you even know
that that was the record?
327
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,858
We took that sign down.
328
00:12:39,858 --> 00:12:41,557
No, I saw a sign.
329
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,831
- Uh-huh.
- ♪ Just relax, take it easy ♪
330
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:47,263
All right, very nice.
331
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,431
Yeah! There it is.
332
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:49,833
There, wait for it. And...
333
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,067
Yeah! Perfect!
334
00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:52,325
Nice. Nice!
335
00:12:52,325 --> 00:12:54,325
- ♪ Find a girl ♪
- 320's good.
336
00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:55,660
- [UPBEAT SONG PLAYS]
- Huh?
337
00:12:55,662 --> 00:12:59,598
Yeah, first one fit
the tone better, yeah.
338
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,278
It did.
339
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,543
Yeah, okay.
340
00:13:02,546 --> 00:13:04,435
♪ Why, think of everything you've got ♪
341
00:13:04,437 --> 00:13:05,760
♪ For you will still be here tomorrow ♪
342
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:07,336
I love you.
343
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:09,207
♪ But your dreams... ♪
344
00:13:09,209 --> 00:13:09,917
[SPLASH]
345
00:13:09,917 --> 00:13:11,550
I hate it here now.
346
00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:12,985
RAY: Uh, hey, Mom.
347
00:13:12,987 --> 00:13:16,088
The greens I gave you to
eat about an hour ago...
348
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:18,820
You haven't swallowed
them yet, have you?
349
00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:20,492
Bear. Bear, bear,
350
00:13:20,494 --> 00:13:22,227
- bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear.
- He's back.
351
00:13:22,229 --> 00:13:23,996
[DOORS LOCK, HANDLE RATTLING]
352
00:13:23,998 --> 00:13:25,831
- Maya!
- Can't come in my van.
353
00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:28,333
Go make your own van
2.0 and get in that.
354
00:13:28,335 --> 00:13:30,175
Let me in! There's a bear out there!
355
00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:31,738
A bear? Was its coat black?
356
00:13:31,741 --> 00:13:33,009
It's brown!
357
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:34,654
Sounds to me like a brown bear.
358
00:13:34,654 --> 00:13:36,595
Really? Does a brown bear
sound like a brown bear?
359
00:13:36,597 --> 00:13:37,596
Let me in!
360
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,297
Your book covers everything.
361
00:13:39,299 --> 00:13:41,367
I'm sure there's a
chapter on imaginary bears.
362
00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:42,932
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- Aah!
363
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:44,870
Aah!
364
00:13:44,872 --> 00:13:46,405
Bear, bear, bear!
365
00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:48,776
Hey, it was a brown bear.
366
00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:51,297
Tires came back. You're all set.
367
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,121
Oh. Okay.
368
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,588
Is there anything else
you can do to the car?
369
00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:56,896
Maybe change the oil?
370
00:13:56,899 --> 00:13:59,492
Typically, you need the
car present to do that.
371
00:13:59,494 --> 00:14:01,383
Oh, so you're the funny brother.
372
00:14:01,386 --> 00:14:02,421
Oh.
373
00:14:04,199 --> 00:14:05,656
Hey.
374
00:14:05,659 --> 00:14:07,931
I, uh, just talked to the mechanic...
375
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:12,170
Excuse me. I noticed your,
uh, boy eyeing my tractor.
376
00:14:12,173 --> 00:14:14,840
You two like to take it for a spin?
377
00:14:14,842 --> 00:14:17,921
And he said it would be
ready in one tractor ride.
378
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:19,109
Huh?
379
00:14:21,752 --> 00:14:23,363
Hey, that mechanic ever come back?
380
00:14:23,365 --> 00:14:24,617
I am the mechanic.
381
00:14:24,617 --> 00:14:26,803
Maybe you were talking
to one of my two brothers.
382
00:14:26,806 --> 00:14:28,894
- One of them...
- I don't care. Look, I'm ready to go.
383
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,520
When are you gonna be
done with our tires?
384
00:14:31,523 --> 00:14:32,990
Ah.
385
00:14:32,992 --> 00:14:34,625
I feel, like, 30% manlier.
386
00:14:34,627 --> 00:14:35,525
Should we get going?
387
00:14:35,527 --> 00:14:36,493
Don't want to keep them waiting.
388
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:37,803
Well, of course not.
389
00:14:37,806 --> 00:14:40,731
But, sadly, those darn
tires just aren't ready yet.
390
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,532
Then why would the tire brother
391
00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:44,637
tell me they've been ready for an hour?
392
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:46,902
[ENGINE STARTS]
393
00:14:46,905 --> 00:14:48,072
Sayonara, suckers!
394
00:14:48,074 --> 00:14:56,346
♪
395
00:14:56,348 --> 00:14:59,842
Felt a lot faster when
we were yelling "Wheee!"
396
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:03,320
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- [GASPS]
397
00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:05,973
It's okay.
398
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,741
You're inside, and
bears don't know doors.
399
00:15:08,744 --> 00:15:10,285
- [THUD]
- Oh!
400
00:15:10,287 --> 00:15:11,552
Bears know doors!
401
00:15:11,554 --> 00:15:13,204
Mankind's reign has ended!
402
00:15:14,524 --> 00:15:15,990
Aah!
403
00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:18,995
Aah! Mayas know doors!
404
00:15:20,785 --> 00:15:22,045
Check, please.
405
00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:24,753
"Why don't you want to go
back? What's going on, Dad?"
406
00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:26,623
I don't know.
407
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:29,226
This place is so great.
408
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,498
And this is our last road trip.
409
00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:33,476
And you're going away soon.
410
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:36,713
And I saw an opportunity, and, uh...
411
00:15:37,761 --> 00:15:39,453
I just wanted to spend
time with you, bud.
412
00:15:39,453 --> 00:15:42,065
I've been so focused on making
sure that Mom got time with you
413
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:46,172
because she needs it, but
she's not the only one... Huh.
414
00:15:48,039 --> 00:15:50,206
She's not the only one
who's gonna miss you.
415
00:15:50,209 --> 00:15:52,334
[SNIFFLES] Dad?
416
00:15:52,889 --> 00:15:54,122
"Are you crying?"
417
00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:56,045
No, I'm not. No.
418
00:15:56,048 --> 00:15:58,084
[SNIFFLES]
419
00:15:59,996 --> 00:16:02,129
No, kids. I'm not
supposed to make you cry.
420
00:16:02,131 --> 00:16:04,231
My job is to make you not-cry.
421
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:06,243
"It's okay.
422
00:16:06,243 --> 00:16:07,410
Let it out."
423
00:16:09,346 --> 00:16:11,702
I am just gonna miss you so much.
424
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:13,556
And I think about the kids in your dorm
425
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,662
and your professors who
get to see you every day
426
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:18,363
like it's nothing.
427
00:16:18,365 --> 00:16:20,337
I don't know why they get to do that.
428
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:23,394
They get to take the
best part of my day...
429
00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:26,430
Being with you guys,
being with you alone.
430
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,319
That's it. I just wanted one more day.
431
00:16:31,568 --> 00:16:36,438
"Don't worry. There's time for
Mom bonding and Dad bonding.
432
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,039
I'll make time."
433
00:16:38,049 --> 00:16:43,135
♪
434
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,995
I miss Dad.
435
00:16:44,997 --> 00:16:46,797
So do I.
436
00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:48,133
Ayup!
437
00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:52,838
[SNIFFLES]
438
00:16:56,108 --> 00:16:59,144
This tear is the most
precious prize of all.
439
00:17:00,712 --> 00:17:01,811
So weird.
440
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:05,382
I can't believe I'm stuck
here with the last person
441
00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:07,229
I'd ever choose to be
eaten by a bear with.
442
00:17:07,254 --> 00:17:10,151
Why would you choose to get
eaten by a bear, Kenneth?
443
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,508
Must you undermine me
every chance you get?
444
00:17:12,508 --> 00:17:15,446
I can't believe I ever thought
we were actually friends.
445
00:17:15,449 --> 00:17:17,966
Please. It was always a friendship
of convenience based around JJ.
446
00:17:17,966 --> 00:17:18,890
You know what? This is dumb.
447
00:17:18,891 --> 00:17:20,307
- Come on, let's go.
- Yeah.
448
00:17:21,096 --> 00:17:22,402
[BOTH SCREAM]
449
00:17:22,404 --> 00:17:23,736
[BEAR GROWLS]
450
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,272
Oh, no!
451
00:17:25,274 --> 00:17:28,124
I don't want to die angry.
It's what everyone would expect.
452
00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:30,478
I could never die angry at you.
453
00:17:30,478 --> 00:17:33,046
I only did my manual
to be more like you.
454
00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:34,347
R-Ready for anything.
455
00:17:34,349 --> 00:17:35,982
- [GROWLS]
- Aah!
456
00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:38,458
This isn't a friendship
of convenience for me.
457
00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:40,020
Me neither.
458
00:17:40,022 --> 00:17:41,924
[BEAR GROWLS, METALLIC RATTLING]
459
00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:44,457
Hey, bear!
460
00:17:44,459 --> 00:17:45,725
[RATTLING CONTINUES]
461
00:17:45,727 --> 00:17:47,193
[BEAR GROWLS]
462
00:17:47,195 --> 00:17:48,361
Ray!
463
00:17:48,363 --> 00:17:50,564
Call me Reverse Goldilocks,
464
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:53,566
'cause this is gonna feel just wrong.
465
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,013
I'm big and making noise,
466
00:17:56,016 --> 00:17:57,412
and bears hate
467
00:17:57,415 --> 00:17:59,770
big things making noise.
468
00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:01,399
Ray, stop attracting the bear!
469
00:18:01,402 --> 00:18:03,790
It's supposed to scare the bear!
470
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:06,509
She's right! You're seducing the bear.
471
00:18:06,512 --> 00:18:07,980
Dude looks thirsty.
472
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,725
Or hungry.
473
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,012
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- [SNIFFS]
474
00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:14,411
It's the jerky smell.
475
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,280
No, there's no more jerky, bear.
476
00:18:16,282 --> 00:18:18,582
This is just my record
of my achievements.
477
00:18:18,584 --> 00:18:21,353
I need this to get into college.
478
00:18:22,621 --> 00:18:23,921
Or do I?
479
00:18:23,923 --> 00:18:26,938
If the sum of me is
what's on these pages,
480
00:18:26,941 --> 00:18:28,292
am I really anything at all?
481
00:18:28,292 --> 00:18:29,248
Stop it, Ray!
482
00:18:29,248 --> 00:18:31,636
You're making him
hungrier... Or hornier!
483
00:18:31,639 --> 00:18:32,872
You're right.
484
00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:34,352
Goodbye, scout Ray.
485
00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:37,288
[BEAR GROWLS]
486
00:18:41,092 --> 00:18:43,026
Darling, well done!
487
00:18:43,028 --> 00:18:45,180
Oh, I'm so sorry about your scout book.
488
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:46,413
It's okay.
489
00:18:46,415 --> 00:18:48,793
Facing down a bear
makes collecting badges
490
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:51,095
just to prove myself
on paper seem silly.
491
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,963
But also, I fought off a frickin' bear!
492
00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:57,099
That's gonna look great
in my college essays.
493
00:18:57,099 --> 00:18:58,967
- Oh, there he is.
- KENNETH: Maya!
494
00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:02,069
MAYA: Oh, Kenneth.
495
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:03,503
Are those your pages?
496
00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:04,771
Our pages...
497
00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:06,434
From both manuals!
498
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:10,410
It's a double JJ Care Book miracle.
499
00:19:10,412 --> 00:19:11,671
Um, excuse me, guys.
500
00:19:11,671 --> 00:19:14,331
There's still a bear
very much at large here.
501
00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:15,799
- Right.
- Ow.
502
00:19:15,802 --> 00:19:17,508
Oh, allow me.
503
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:19,310
- Oh.
- [LAUGHS]
504
00:19:19,312 --> 00:19:22,180
The least I can do after
you taught me how to do this.
505
00:19:22,182 --> 00:19:23,739
Oh, yeah, and you're doing it
506
00:19:23,742 --> 00:19:25,044
so wrong.
507
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:28,593
[LAUGHS] Ah, man.
508
00:19:28,593 --> 00:19:31,783
That Tim guy is gonna
love this JJ super book.
509
00:19:31,783 --> 00:19:32,868
Oh, look.
510
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:33,935
We both have a page
511
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:35,718
on how to deliver JJ's punch lines.
512
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:38,038
BOTH: With a slight head nod.
513
00:19:39,214 --> 00:19:40,041
Maya,
514
00:19:40,043 --> 00:19:41,643
I have come to share my feelings.
515
00:19:41,645 --> 00:19:43,044
I want to spend more time with JJ,
516
00:19:43,046 --> 00:19:44,146
so I want to ride in the back.
517
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:45,265
Oh, that's okay, darling.
518
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,747
I want to sit next to my friend Kenneth.
519
00:19:46,749 --> 00:19:49,050
We can tell stories and share secrets.
520
00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:51,253
I have one about Jimmy.
521
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,888
I have one about Jimmy, too.
522
00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:53,924
[BOTH LAUGH]
523
00:19:55,025 --> 00:19:57,092
Bet you're pretty
jealous of my dad tear.
524
00:19:57,094 --> 00:19:58,627
I'm not. Quit asking me.
525
00:19:58,629 --> 00:20:00,229
All right, guys. Let's move 'em out.
526
00:20:00,231 --> 00:20:02,198
Next stop, Tim!
527
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,999
ALL: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
528
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:05,267
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
529
00:20:05,269 --> 00:20:06,535
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
530
00:20:06,537 --> 00:20:08,404
JIMMY: Oh, pretty bumpy back here.
531
00:20:08,406 --> 00:20:10,672
- Is it always like this?
- ALL: Keep it in the mouth.
532
00:20:10,674 --> 00:20:12,952
- Oh, God.
- Keep it in the mouth.
533
00:20:14,562 --> 00:20:15,762
[LAUGHS]
534
00:20:15,765 --> 00:20:17,279
Seattle!
535
00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:19,419
"We made it to Tim."
536
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,952
Man, Seattle people are grouchy.
537
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:22,220
Barely grazed the guy.
538
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,321
I hit his wife's car way harder.
539
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,656
Check me out, Seattle.
540
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,093
I am a fish thrower.
541
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,427
Ow!
542
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,696
Dude, you got to catch the fish.
543
00:20:31,699 --> 00:20:34,123
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
544
00:20:34,148 --> 00:20:36,676
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
545
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:38,383
Intricate, beautiful plan of shortcuts!
546
00:20:38,385 --> 00:20:41,086
We are here for an appointment with Tim.
547
00:20:41,088 --> 00:20:43,379
Tim, your order's ready.
548
00:20:44,258 --> 00:20:45,613
It's Tim!
549
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:50,431
[CRUNCHING]
550
00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:54,666
Oh, oh, oh! You can run!
551
00:20:54,668 --> 00:20:56,214
Well, you're gonna have
a look at this book!
552
00:20:56,216 --> 00:20:58,253
KENNETH: My best friend
is talking to you!
553
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:02,993
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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