Original subtitles

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A film by Ildik�� Enyedi

Simon the Magician

Music:

Director of photography:

Written and directed by:

I'll tell you an old story.

1998, Paris. We barely remember what it was like.

The end of something, but not yet the beginning of anything.

Like ancient Rome around 100 BC, to where Simon M�gus arrived,

from some far corner of the empire...

Yes?

Shot...

Why me?

Okay, fine. 100 thousand franks.

No. 100 thousand.

No planes. Train. I'll take the train.

Look at me when I'm talking to you!

Take your stuff, and piss off!

Hey, are you listening?

Get it?

- Are you well? - Yes and you?

I'm sorry, what just happened?

No, believe me, I was there the whole time.

I talked to the conductor too.

I have no idea.

Maybe he missed the train and is still in Budapest,

having breakfast somewhere.

Why, what else could I have done?

They didn't tell me it would be this cold in Paris.

All is well, he's arrived!

Good afternoon! Oh, I'm so glad you found me.

I'm Liza, good day!

Please get in! I'll take you to your hotel.

Then we have to go see the commissioner.

- I've already got a room. - Oh, but this is a very elegant hotel.

That doesn't matter. This will do for me.

My staff is leading the investigation...

and they are very pleased you are here.

They will help any way they can.

The pressure is building.

We have to produce results.

Of course we have French psychics.

We are in contact with a few soothsayers.

But they haven't gotten anywhere in the case.

As to confidentiality...

it's an issue of professional prestige.

None of this is public...

so I would ask for discretion.

That's all.

He thanks you.

Do you need anything?

The money in advance.

He'll write a check.

I'd like cash.

They say it can be arranged.

Did you travel well?

The placement of the corpse, points to violence...

The approximate time of death...

Liza dear!

I need to work alone.

Please understand, the master needs to work alone.

Of course.

We are leaving.

And you dear?

I'm eating cake.

Really? Put it down!

You're not allowed.

Right, right, down, down.

Yes.

Would you please... leave with the others?

Me?

Yes, yes.

I'm going. Excuse me.

Can you hear anything?

- He must be concentrating. - He better be.

He has about as much chance of finding the killer,

as me finding water with this key chain.

Do you have a pack of cards?

I'll write the report if you go to the bakery.

I'm bored to death!

Bring beer instead!

He wasn't quick about it.

Liza my dear! Tell them,

to bring a micro voltmeter and an Oscilloscope.

- Okay. - Oh, and a biologist, he'll know what he needs to do.

- What did he say? - Can we go in?

One sec! Come here!

He needs a micro voltmeter.

Call a biologist!

What's this?

With this we can measure the energy of the plant.

First we put gelatine on the leaf,

then we place the electrode on it,

which we connect to the oscilloscope,

and it shows on the monitor,

the changes in the feelings of the plant.

- The plants energy? - Exactly.

By examining the state of the plant we can conclude,

what the plant felt.

- He wants to ask something. - Go ahead!

- He's interested in your method. - Why? He doesn't understand?

No method. No magic.

The plant has been well taken care of.

It's owner must have loved it, and it hurt the plant, to lose him.

Yes but he still doesn't understand.

If we show it the killer, it will recognize him.

I'll turn on the machine.

Put the wire on the leaf.

The gelatine will be the conductor.

The receiver is on the leaf...

everything is ready...

Careful! Don't touch the plant!

Watch the monitor.

I've had enough.

- So now what do we do? - Round up all the people who knew him.

- All of them? - No just the left handed ones.

Hold on, I'll show you something!

See my lighter.

I'll put the flame closer and watch the difference!

The curves go higher.

Pull it away, they lower.

Closer, higher.

Okay, but...

If the killer is in the room,

the curves will change.

Is this a trustworthy method?

Yes. Though it's never been used in crime solving.

Let's go a little closer!

Yes, that's him.

He's gotten older.

Careful, slower!

I don't want him to see me yet.

You see, this man is my only adversary.

If he's still in shape.

We'll see.

Put some music on.

That's good.

Now you can go closer.

Well... well...

Oh! Good evening!

Get in!

No, no. I'll walk.

Don't insult me! Now that we ran into each other...

Let's talk!

No, no, no! I just need a little air.

Tell me honestly: when you saw me, did your recognise me?

- What? - I haven't changed too much?

Sorry, I didn't hear you well!

- I asked if you knew me? - Oh, yeah of course.

Get in! Don't make me beg!

That's a nice car.

No, no... really.

It looks good.

That's it? It looks good.

This is a Bentley. 1 Bentley for every 200 Rolls-Royce's.

- Alright fine... - Tell me, would you like to get a drink?

Come on, I'll take you too a special place.

I'm a member there. My treat.

Maybe that's too classy for me.

Alright then a bar.

Well, that sounds better.

I don't drink anymore, but okay.

Just get in already! My neck is getting sore.

So that's the type of shows I had last year.

- Not bad. - Right?

- And you? - Nothing, little things.

Come on...

You're planning something, that's why you're so secretive.

- I guessed it? - No.

I don't really care about the profession.

Want to hear something surprising? I'm going underground.

- then... - In the metro?

Don't joke around I'll raise from the dead.

In a sense. No tricks.

- Totally natural. - I see.

Tell me honestly, it's a big thing no?

Yes, yes. Classic.

The Church is upset of course, but that's free publicity.

- So... - Nice, nice.

Isn't it? Now it's your turn.

- What would you like to hear? - You know that!

- I have no idea. - You can guess.

Or you think you're that much better than me?

- Well it's... possible. - Impossible.

- Hey, hey, hey. - The truth is I'm the best.

- Wow! - Look, I know all your tricks...

- Cigarette? - ... all of them.

No, thank you.

How deep your telepathy goes.

I know them all and can do them.

- You don't believe it? - Sure you can.

Fine... hold on! See that street lamp.

If you want, I can turn it off.

- Oh, god no! - Just say the word.

Didn't you say you'd take me to a bar?

This is it. My hotel, let me out.

I was happy to see you.

No, don't stop!

Step on it!

Very good.

- Good evening! - Good evening, sir!

Sit down!

You must be surprised that I called you in.

No.

Really?

Well... yes.

What's his method?

I know he only spoke to you. I was informed.

See, I know everything.

Really.

By the way he solved it.

We caught the killer, he confessed too. Did you know?

No, I didn't hear.

Surprised?

No, sir. It doesn't.

It doesn't...

- Where is he? - I don't know.

Then find him! Fast!

There was a picture here. Some soil plan thing.

- Looks nice. - Nice?

Maybe that's not the right word.

Go back an image!

- Yes, yes. - Here it is.

- This is it. - Here. Here.

It's a nice drawing.

I printed it.

I have it here somewhere, let's see.

Here.

This is the pit.

This is where they'll bury me.

Well you've gone all out!

You're being ironic. But you're wrong.

Look, I'll show you!

Wait, you just stepped in when I was looking at this.

- Careful with the program... - No, wait!

- Listen, I'll show you something. - ... something got into it.

- So! - Here.

- So? - Yes.

- Here. - Yes.

Wait! Just wait!

- Wait... see. - I don't think you need all this.

You can do all this without the mouse.

- Okay, but... - Let's see a test!

- Look at the screen! - I see, I see.

Hey! Move the cursor!

That's not such a big deal.

Move it again.

Voil?

That's not my style.

I know your very good, but this isn't what I do.

I know you have some sort of natural power,

that I don't. I needed lots of work,

so I could perfect what I do.

That's something too.

What's this? Let me see!

Hold on. If you indulge me, I'll get back to this drawing, it's interesting.

140 centimetre deep pit. It's exactly that much,

because my chest would be crushed under the weight.

I don't know about your chest...

- Sorry but... - I apologise!

So. Back to the experiment,

the three days, I'll spend underground,

do you know why its unique?

Because I'll do it without air.

I can't tell you how, hope you understand.

It doesn't seem too complicated.

Really?

- Then tell me how it's done. - Fine, fine, fine.

It wasn't an insult.

- Continue! - Wait, I'll help.

I'm going to use the system bears use, so my brain won't get damaged.

The brain waves of the bear are the key.

But you won't guess from that either.

Tell me, why is the press chasing you?

I had an affair with police.

Murder, dirty deeds.

How did it go?

Rich corpse, pictures, beider, rococo, baroque, whatever you want.

It was cold. Do they never heat in Paris?

Master, forgive me!

The commissioner is waiting. A car is here.

Come on, let's get a drink?

Don't look at me like that! Let's drink!

Then we can go on.

No, no!

I'd like some red wine.

Vino. Vino.

Rouge.

- What's he doing? - Can't you see? He's drinking.

He waved to you...

Cheers!

A coffee please!

This is good wine.

You're a strange guy.

Sitting here. Don't come in, then you come in,

then you drink the wine.

Interesting.

What should I do with you?

I have no idea.

Look...

I can see in your eyes, that you'll come tomorrow,

and ask me if you can be my student.

And I won't know what to do with you.

Don't look at me like that!

Just keep sitting here?

See it's not so devilish.

Your buddy can wait outside right?

Keep drinking! Hey, sir! Two more please!

Wait, you don't know how much I can drink. Just wait and see!

Good morning viewers! You're watching the TV5 weather report.

Let's take a look,

at the December 7th projections!

Clouds cover most of Europe...

Thank you, good bye!

Good day, would you answer a few questions? About religion...

No thank you.

Would you answer a few questions?

I only speak English.

- Would you answer a few questions? - I'm in a hurry.

- About religion in France. - No.

Sir, please! Would you answer a few questions?

It's only five minutes.

Are you catholic?

- No. - No.

- Protestant? - No.

- Jewish? - No.

- Buddhist? - No.

- Atheist? - Yes.

I've seen you somewhere, right?

No.

I was positive. Sorry.

- Do you go to confession? - No... yes.

- Yes? - Yes.

- Sometimes? - No.

- Never? - No.

- Everyday? - Yes.

Really? That's rare.

Do you go to mass once a year?

No.

- Never. - No... yes, yes!

Are you making fun of me?

You say you confess daily, but you're an atheist?

And I'm sure that I've met you before.

- A coffee? - I didn't say that because...

Do you believe in the use of contraception?

A coffee?

What are you reading?

A cook book...

Surprised again. Can I see?

Wow, seems complicated, I can't cook at all.

- Sir, what would you like? - Coffee.

- Two? - Yes.

Can you cook?

Look, it's funny, it looks like America.

This is California, this is Texas,

and Florida,

and the tail is New York. Right?

I heard something about pigs.

If you would lock up all the animals with one week's worth of food,

they would all eat the food at once, except the pig.

The pig would spread it out.

It proves it's the most intelligent.

It's musical too.

I love music, you must too.

They say music is man mad, but that's not true.

If you slow down bird calls,

the tunes are worthy of great composers,

and... so... that's all I wanted...

- Am I boring you? - Aha.

Tell me honestly, why am I here?

Do you like me?

No, no.

- You were bored? - Yes.

What do you expect of me?

You think I'm stupid?

This isn't the way to woo someone.

But you're not wooing me.

Fine.

Thanks for the coffee. Bye.

You think you're so mysterious being so quiet?

I thought about what you said about the birds.

You're wrong.

I know you like me, why don't you admit it?

Do you want to sleep with me?

Yes, yes.

And the rest doesn't matter?

No.

You didn't say anything about my experiment.

Tell me what you think.

There's a draft. Should I close the window?

Why won't you answer me?

The thing is I need a favour.

So! Even the big instinctive needs help.

At your service!

But that doesn't change the fact, that you didn't answer me.

I said we should close the damn window.

I don't mind the draft.

I don't even mind the smoke.

Even though that disgusts me.

I counted: You smoked 47 cigarettes in my house.

It hurts me that you don't answer my questions.

But I'm a calm person. It's hard to make me mad.

Fine. Let's not talk about the experiment.

Though I don't need to say it's a little condescending, in fact it's insulting.

What was the favour?

Well... umm... Nothing, it's not important.

Out with it!

It's nothing.

I just though you could teach me a few things.

Oh! Well that's another story.

That's very humbling.

Okay, but I won't tell you just anything. No!

You mean the levitation right?

Or the disappearing act?.

Well, I can show you that if you want.

No, of course not, no!

I was just thinking that that you could teach me some French.

It can come in handy.

- What? - That's all.

You know, you choose a very sneaky way to insult me.

You solve crimes. As if there aren't enough cops in the world.

But what I'm doing works.

You're just a show off! You can't do all that I can.

Houdini tried. 50 years ago to go underground.

It didn't work for him. It will for me.

Right, Houdini. Very good.

- Okay, congratulations! - Go ahead! Can you do it!

You wouldn't dare! You can't!

- Just admit it! - I don't like all the hype.

Like I said, it's all talk! Show off!

Do it after me, if you can!

What? You want a duel? Fine, let's have a duel!

It's not a bad idea. Okay, fine.

I'll do it. When?

- Are you kidding... - No, I'm not joking.

But this is insane.

- You're not ready. - Well... I have time.

What did you say, tomorrow afternoon?

Okay fine.

I have to tell you something.

A cop is here.

He waited all night.

So go, and I didn't see you.

Understand?

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Just because... I'd like to clear something up.

I... I...

I would gladly help.

But is this a professional conversation?

It's okay I know what he wants.

To take me to his boss.

Master,

I thought about last night,

and I would like to be your student.

He wants something else. To be your student.

My student? Surprising.

You're prettier as a burnet.

What should I tell him?

Continue!

I read a lot after work,

but I have no one to guide me.

I'd like to know the meaning of life.

Sorry!

Hello? Hello?

Yes, I do know where he is.

He's right in front of me.

Yes, sir. We're going.

They have a celebration planed.

You might get an award.

Anyway congratulations.

Let's get a taxi.

Taxi! Taxi! Well be on time.

No, no! Stay, I'm going alone.

But how? If I need to translate, and...

I don't have the time now, maybe later.

- Don't take it to heart! - I'm not.

- Good bye! - I'll walk you.

- I'm not bothering you? - He's not very nice.

- Don't make that face! - What face?

I'd like to know your opinion.

- Some legal issues? - No.

You're a sensitive boy.

How do you see me?

That's a hard question...

Forget it, don't answer! It was a silly question.

You're very sweet.

- No really leave it! - Yes, yes. Just a little wired.

What do you mean wired?

Well let's say... not loose enough.

Thank you.

- Where was I? - The sprits freedom.

Right, yes. I think the state of the body...

- The fries are good. - So the mind and body...

Stop it!

Look!

- Did he die? - No, he's breathing.

Put it under his head!

Careful, don't wake him.

It's him!

Yes, it's him.

Sir,

do something for me!

Life is so hard!

Please, help!

A little sign, please.

It's important for my scholarship.

You have to fill out the papers and send them.

Otherwise?

Hold on, I'll call you back.

Just a second! Calm down, I'll call someone, okay?

Hello. Good afternoon!

I was just thinking about you.

Sure. Of course I'll help, any time.

Of course. Wait, I don't understand.

- Okay, well I guess... - Tell her to stay!

I don't want her to leave. Will you help?

Here she is.

Hello? Who am I talking to?

I don't understand, what's going on.

No, of course I'm not afraid.

No it's not that, it's just strange.

My dear,

believe me he could really love you.

The thought never crossed my mind that he doesn't speak French.

I had a conversation with him.

Now I feel a little silly.

Yes?

Don't let her go! Get her to stay!

Thank you.

No I'm not laughing at him.

Fine.

Thank you. Good bye.

Hello? Hello?

- An autograph. - Me too.

How do you feel?

Very well, thank you.

Say a few words to the viewers.

No, not right now. See you in three days!

Why isn't Simon here?

Don't detest him for it.

It might not be that he's a coward.

This is an extremely dangerous experiment.

We have no right to judge him.

Why are you alone?

I'm always alone.

I think he's not coming.

Looks that way.

- What do we do now? - Do you want to go? I'll walk you.

No, it's okay I want to stay.

- I want to see what happens. - He's right not to have come.

Maybe he just forgot.

I'd like to know what he's doing now.

No, sir, it's a restricted area.

Hey, old man, stay outside.

I illiterate again that this is not a trick.

He's here! He came!

I'm coming!

Look, it's Simon!

Excuse me, master, I didn't recognise you.

There's no problem right?

We we're worried, and we're waiting for you.

Go on, go to him.

Can I see you?

Here.

I have an exam, but in three days.

Ten at night? Okay? Ten at night here?

- Good bye! - Good bye!

My friend, Simon! Late again.

Nice markers.

You'll get some too.

You know... I thought I wouldn't see you.

I promised, no?

But I'm here now.

Can we start?

Smile!

- Camera. - We have different styles.

Don't deny it.

This is a race.

You smoke a lot?

Your blood pressure is too high.

You know what? Tell him I have stage fright.

You don't seem like the type.

Now he'll tell you about suffocation.

First you feel a pressure...

then the breathing quickens...

and the heart.

The head throbs, the ears ring.

You begin to panic and become afraid.

That's it! Swats, nausea, vomiting.

The body shakes...

trembles, then the pain...

Don't do it! Don't try it!

If you want I'll come up with some good excuse.

This is totally, crazy...

and the truth is, you know it too.

How could I go on if something happens to you?

What could happen?

I don't think this is what you want, you were just dragged into it.

I'm glad I met you doctor, you're a good man.

Where's the paper I need to sign?

Viewers! A few minuets and the experiment will start.

In three days the graves will open, and hopefully,

the two magicians will be alive.

My friends!

Then... in three days!

Move the microphones.

- On last photo! - Me too!

Sure you don't want it?

Thank you now.

I feel fine.

I rested a little.

- Something's wrong. - Yes.

Let me through.

The doctor, quickly!

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