Original subtitles

Sometimes the world looks perfect

Nothing to rearrange

Sometimes you just get a feeling

Like you need some kind of change

Nothing's going to stand in my way

This flame in my heart

Like a long-lost friend

Gives every dark street

A light at the end

Standing tall

On the wings of my dream

Rise and fall

On the wings of my dream

Through the rain and thunder

The wind and haze

I'm bound for better days

It's my life and my dream

And nothing's going to stop me now

JENNIFER: Okay, it's your turn, Balki.

Okay, Balki, pet peeve.

"What bothers you most about the person

"sitting on your right?"

Ooh. This should be good.

This is very hard for me to say.

The thing that bothers me most

about cousin Larry

is, he doesn't give himself enough credit

for all the good things he does.

Forgive me if I've hurt you.

Oh, it's okay.

Okay, Mary Anne, your turn.

Ooh. I get a pet peeve too, just like you.

(GIGGLES)

Don't do that.

Okay, "Name a fault of the person sitting

"across from you, or sing a Barry Manilow song."

ALL: Answer the question.

Well, okay, but it's a tough one.

Well, there is this one teeny little fault.

It wouldn't be worth mentioning

if I didn't want to win the game.

Come on.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Mary Anne, I don't do that.

Yes, you do. Who's next?

make a statement like that, you have to explain it.

Should I roll the dice for you?

Not now, Larry.

Now, what do you mean I correct everything you do?

All right, fine. For example,

every time I check the passengers' seat belts

you follow right along behind me checking them again.

Well, I have to. You're careless.

-I am not. -JENNIFER: Oh yeah?

Last week you left the oven on.

I was baking cookies.

Well, I'm surprised you had time to check the oven

you spend so much time in front of a mirror.

Well, at least I don't put my makeup on with a spray gun.

This from a person who snores like a teamster!

I don't have to sit here and take this from someone

who can't remember her real hair color.

Goodnight.

Oh! Oh, yeah?

Well. Well, at least I didn't go

to the prom with my brother!

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

BALKI: The screaming has stopped.

I think the girls must have made up.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Hi, Balki.

I just wanted to say goodbye

before I move out.

Why you are moving out?

Because I would rather eat glass

than live with Jennifer!

Mary Anne, you can't be serious.

Cousin Larry's right.

Glass is really tough on your digestive system.

Mary Anne, Jennifer is your best friend.

Ex-best friend.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You can forget about going to a hotel.

You'll stay right here with us.

Oh, Balki, I couldn't do that.

Well, if you think that's best.

No, no, no...

Bush, bush, bush...

Cousin Larry and I insist.

Oh, you guys are the greatest.

I'll try to stay out of your way.

Balki, you just made a huge mistake.

I'm sorry, cousin.

Did you want to give her your room?

I'll go ask her.

I mean, you put us right in the middle of their argument.

But, cousin, I'm just helping Mary Anne.

What you would say if Jennifer wanted to stay here?

Thank you, God.

But that's not the point.

I'm taking Mary Anne's side.

Now, wait a minute.

Mary Anne is my girlfriend.

She'll be staying in my room.

She'll be wearing my robe.

She'll be using my Mr. Ducky bubble bath.

There is no way Jennifer could get mad at you.

-Oh, hi. -Hey, guys.

Mary Anne just moved out. I'm so mad!

Larry, I just need to talk.

Well, you came to the right place.

Let's go to a coffee shop.

Balki, where do you keep the towels?

Uh, Jennifer, I think I can explain...

The guys insisted I stay here.

Well, that doesn't bother you, does it, Jennifer?

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(MARY ANNE SCREAMING)

Sorry, Mary Anne.

Oh!

(GRUNTING)

(YELPING)

(SIZZLES) (LARRY YELPS)

(GROANING)

Whoa!

(GROANING)

(PANTING)

(SCREAMING)

Hi, cousin.

Balki, this has gone far enough.

I haven't seen the inside of our bathroom in a week.

Well, the men's room at the gas station is available.

Although, if I were you

I'd bring a little 409 along with me.

Balki.

Our lives have not been the same

since Mary Anne moved in.

We're crowded, the place is a mess.

Come on, cousin. You're exaggerating.

Good morning, everyone.

If you'll be seated, we can start our breakfast service.

Can I put this in the overhead bin for you, sir?

Now, come on, cousin.

Oh.

For those of you seated on the left side of the aircraft

we're passing over Chicago.

Would you care for some coffee?

-Please. -Please.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

(CLINKING)

I would like pancakes, please.

Larry, what would you like? Pancakes or scrambled eggs?

I'll have pancakes too.

Oh, I'm sorry, we just ran out of pancakes.

Would eggs be all right?

Fine.

Well, enjoy your meal.

If you'll excuse me,

I think I'll go help out the gang in coach.

Balki, Mary Anne has to go.

She's driving me crazy.

Come on, cousin, If Mary Anne moves out

how will the girls ever get back together?

Balki, it's been a week!

It's been a week, and they're still not talking.

They pass each other on the stairs

ice forms on the walls.

Balki, there's no telling

But, cousin, I can't ask my girlfriend to move out.

Anyway, I like having her around.

The way she combs her hair.

The way she's changed my life.

Well, great.

Jennifer insists I'm harboring the enemy.

-She won't talk to me! -Oh.

Now, Balki, it's over.

Mary Anne has to go, I am going to tell her

that she just can't stay here anymore.

-Get out of my way. -Ha.

(GASPS)

Balki, I'm going to tell Mary Anne

she just can't stay here anymore.

And nothing you can do or say

will change my mind!

Surprise time.

Well, before you do there's something

I'd like to say to both of you.

I just want to thank you for letting me stay here.

And as a token of my appreciation

I want you to have these watches.

Those look expensive.

Oh, they are. I bought them in Geneva.

I was gonna give them to you for Christmas

but you guys have been so good to me

I just couldn't wait.

And this one's for you.

Wow.

Cousin, was there something

you wanted to say to Mary Anne?

Yeah see, Mary Anne, listen.

(STAMMERING) Look, I just have to

Well, look, you just can't...

know what a joy it is having you stay with us.

Uh, Jennifer, I am not taking sides in this thing.

I'm not the one who invited Mary Anne to stay here.

No. Uh, no, Jennifer, I'm warning you.

If you hang up on me again, I am not calling you back.

Hell... hello?

Cousin, good news!

Balki, Mary Anne is out of here.

Cousin, I came up with a plan

Well, good, then maybe we can work on a plan

to get Jennifer and me back together.

-Now, what's your plan? -I reminded Mary Anne

that her television set was still upstairs

and she went up to get it!

Cousin, don't you see?

When Mary Anne walks in that room

and she sees Jennifer and they start talking

the floodgates of friendship will open up

and irrigate them both with the milk of human kindness!

I don't believe it!

Hey, miss-have-a friend-for-20-years

and-stab-her-in-the-back!

JENNIFER: Yeah? What is it, beans-for-brains?

I want my television back.

Well, I guess I told her.

(CLATTERING)

That does it! I'll show her!

LARRY: Mary Anne, what are you gonna do?

I'm going to go out and buy a new television!

It's a good thing I didn't remind

Mary Anne about her refrigerator.

-And I have a plan! -Oh, God!

Balki, if we don't do something

And the two of us are gonna spend the rest of our lives

with our tray tables in the upright position!

Let's hear the plan.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

LARRY: Thanks for understanding, Jennifer.

I'm glad we're talking again.

I mean, um, I'm living alone now.

maybe we could go up to my place

and, um, put on some soft music

and, uh...

decide what to do.

Now?

Now.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

No.

No, Jennifer, I really think it would be better if, uh,

we just stay here and watch TV.

Wait a minute, you would rather stay here and watch TV

than go upstairs with me?

Yeah.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-Mary Anne. -Jennifer.

Well, isn't this the darnedest surprise?

Cousin Larry! Jennifer!

Well, slap my face, and call me Zsa-Zsa.

Oh, so now I see what's going on.

Now, now. Hold on. Now, now. Come on. Come on, now

Jennifer, just a minute.

Not so fast, pilgrim!

Balki, give me the key.

I don't think so.

-Ha! -Well, then give me the key.

Double ha! Oh, stop it! Stop it...

Larry, give me the key.

Give it to me. Give it to me...

-Ha! -Ha!

-Ha! -Ha!

There. Now, the door is locked.

The key is gone. There's no way out.

Now, no one is leaving here until you girls sit down

and get this mess settled.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm calling a locksmith

to get me out of here.

Call two locksmiths. I want to get out of here too.

All right, Balki. We've done what we can.

Let's just forget it.

These two are never gonna get back together.

Oh, come on, cousin, You can't just give up.

Just because two turtledoves want to fly the coop

don't mean you make it easy for them

and buy them tickets to Miami.

Get me a locksmith too.

I got to get out of here. I am tired of this Mypos garbage.

"Every barnyard has a silver lining."

Give me a break.

Well, I was just trying to be nice.

Something you might want to try sometime,

you big babasticki-head!

Well, let me tell you something.

"When you lie down with sheep

"you wake up with ticks."

"Sticks and stones may hurt Shirley Jones,

"but nerds will never harm me."

-Guys. -Oh, yeah?

You've lived in this country for four years!

Why don't you learn the language?

I know enough of the language to tell you

what I think of you in most uncertain terms!

Oh, yeah?

and you're short!

This, from a man who names his shoes.

Well, if that bothers you

maybe I'll just lace up Phil and Andy

and walk right out of here.

Guys. Guys, you can't just throw away

a friendship like that.

I've dreamed of living alone.

Get yourself another roommate.

But good friendships aren't.

Petty disagreements? What, like moving out

because someone insults your hair color?

That happened to you too?

Uh, Mary Anne, they're talking about us.

They're trying to show us that we're letting

petty disagreements break up a friendship.

Now, come on, girls.

This has gone on long enough.

It's time for you to say you're sorry.

-I'm sorry, Mary Anne. -I'm sorry, Jennifer.

Oh!

Thanks for showing us how silly we were.

Oh...

You made it easy.

Hey, good friends are hard to come by.

Cousin Larry's right. We're all very lucky.

Hey, I got a great idea.

Why don't we all go out to dinner, and celebrate?

-That's a great idea. -But we're locked in.

No. This is the real key.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)