Original subtitles

Sometimes the world looks perfect

Nothing to rearrange

Sometimes you just get a feeling

Like you need some kind of change

No matter what the odds are this time

Nothing's going to stand in my way

This flame in my heart

Like a long lost friend

Gives every dark street a light at the end

Standing tall

On the wings of my dream

Rise and fall

On the wings of my dream

The rain and thunder

The wind and haze

I'm bound for better days

It's my life and my dream

Nothing's going to stop me now

Nothing's going to stop me

It's my life and my dream

Nothing's going to stop me now

Nothing's going to stop me now

Hello, little Frankie.

This little baby speaks Myposian!

I just told him to, drink his bottle, cry a little,

and let the milk dribble down his chin and he did it.

Now, you sure you don't mind keeping the baby for the weekend?

Gina, it's no problem.

Do you think it will be okay with Larry?

Well, of course, I do. Don't be ridiculous.

Do we have to tell him? Balki!

Okay, it's no problem. I'll handle him.

Gina.

Oh, hi, Frankie! How's it goin', pal

I bet you and Steve can't get enough of this little guy.

Oh, yeah, it's wonderful.

Gina, what's the problem?

Well, look, you know that Steve's a truck driver

and he's gone a week, sometimes two weeks at a time.

When we're apart, he misses me.

Well, of course, he misses you. That's natural.

No, I mean, he really misses me.

Well, yes, uh...

You know... You know what I think?

I think that all Gina and Steve need

is some time alone away from the baby.

Well, Balki, you're right. I think that's a wonderful idea.

I'm glad you said that.

Well, actually you said it first.

Yes, but you said it was a wonderful idea. I heard you.

Balki, why do I get the feeling there's more going on here than I am aware of?

Cousin, I just thought it would be nice if sometime

we take the baby with us so that

Gina and Steve could have some time alone.

Well, that's no problem.

It's not? Of course not.

Gina, I tell you what.

Sometime next summer, why don't you and Steve

just plan a really romantic evening...

What the heck, make it a weekend.

And Balki and I will take care of little Frankie.

Oh, what the heck, how about we take him right now?

What, now?

Oh, they're made! I'm going with Steve on a weekend run to Philadelphia.

Philadelphia, the birthplace of the constitution.

I'm aware of that. I just... Don't worry about a thing.

Everything you need is right here in this bag.

I have left complete instructions with Balki.

Now, if you need to reach me you can get me on Steve's CB.

His handle is the Italian Stallion.

Be a good boy, Frankie. Mama loves you.

Thanks for everything. This means a lot to me.

Maybe, maybe one day we should, uh, uh... Bye, bye.

Have a wonderful time.

You tricked me.

Now, cousin...

Little Frankie is watching.

You don't want to have a nervous breakdance.

Balki, this is a decision we both should have made.

I don't know how you did it...

And I don't wanna know.

Okay, I got to go pick up the laundry now.

Uh, cousin, will you be here?

Watching the baby is not my job. I have a life, you know.

Well, I'll be right back.

Okay, okay. Don't worry, little Frankie.

Your bottle will be ready in just a minute.

It's not going to work.

Balki is the one who made a promise to your mother

and he's the one who's going to have to keep it.

I know what you're trying to do.

You think if you do something adorable, I'll melt.

Well, you can forget it.

Now, come on, cut that out.

Did that come from you? You...

How is little Frankie? Hmm? Oh, fine I suppose.

I really haven't been paying attention.

What's that, your third load?

Fourth. And this is not a fun job.

In Mypos, we don't have washing machines

and, and ready-made formula, but at least we have

diapers that don't... Fall apart when you wash them.

Balki, those are disposable diapers.

What's your point?

Balki, after the baby goes boom-boom,

you're supposed to throw them away.

This is all very complicated and very tiring.

Are you going to talk down to me now?

Yes. Yes, I am.

It just so happens that I have a lot more experience with babies than you.

Well, of course you do. Your mama had nine of them.

Yes. Yes, she did. And I always had to help her with the others.

She'd say, "Larry, run to the store and get some more milk."

"Larry, baby-sit your brother. Larry, let Elaine tie you up."

Boy, that Elaine was a pistol.

Never mind Elaine.

then just holding it and letting it coo at you,

and you should have known it too.

You take responsibility too lightly.

You do, say it.

I take responsibility too lightly.

That's right.

Now will you... Will you help me?

Well, someone's got to.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, I think it's getting close to the little fella's feeding time.

Now, Balki, when you burp little Frankie later,

you'll want to put a towel on your shoulder

so he doesn't dittle on your shirt.

Cousin, you're a genius!

Why you didn't tell me that five shirts ago?

Is that his bottle?

Well, it's not mine.

All right now, Balki, listen very carefully.

It's very important that the temperature of the milk is right.

Yes, I know that. But...

So what you want to do after you warm the bottle

is to just throw a few drops on your...

Yes, I know that... Balki, please.

I know that. Cousin... Don't, Balki.

Do you want my help or not?

Yes, I do, but... All right, Balki.

Just... Balki, Balki, watch and learn.

You just wanna sprinkle a few drops on the inside of your wrists.

Warm enough?

Perfect.

Balki. Balki, wake up.

It's three in the morning. It's your turn.

Already?

He's not wet.

Why you won't sleep?

Maybe he's a night person.

How do parents live through this?

I'll tell you how.

They get a couple of jerks to take their baby off their hands.

Let me amend that.

They get one jerk to trick a bigger jerk

into taking a baby off their hands.

So do you think this is all my fault?

Yes, that's exactly what I am saying.

You should have known, we couldn't handle this kind of responsibility.

Well, what happened to Mr. I Come From A Big Family?

How about this?

My little brother Davey used to like it when I made faces at him.

Well, it's worth a try.

Any other bright ideas, Mr. Spock?

Balki, we've overlooked the simplest solution of all.

Well, of course we have. Don't be ridiculous.

What is it?

Use your head.

Well, I can think of one thing but...

We're not equipped for that.

I am talking about singing the baby to sleep.

Cousin, you're a genius! What should we sing?

What else?

Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop

When the wind blows the cradle will rock

When the bough breaks the cradle will fall

And down will come baby cradle and...

Stop it!

You give him nightmares!

Who made up such a terrible song?

It's not such a terrible song.

My mother sang it to me all the time!

Well, that explains a lot.

I suppose you have a better song?

Well, of course I do. Oh, is that right?

That's right. Oh, really?

With happy little children who don't fall out of trees and...

Please, be my guest.

Here's the story of a man named Brady

Who was busy with three boys of his own

Ta da da da

They were four men living all together

Yet they were all alone, da da da

Till the one day when the lady meet this fellow

And they knew that it was much more than a hunch, ta da da da

That this group must somehow form a family

That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch

The Brady Bunch the Brady Bunch

That's the way we became the Brady Bunch

You know, the park's a totally different place

when you have a child with you.

And taking Frankie along was fun too.

Too bad we didn't know last night

that he likes to sleep in the park.

Did you notice how perky he was when he woke up from his nap?

Most babies take a little while to adjust, but not our Frankie.

And he smiled at everyone who looked into his carriage. Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, I think the other parents were a little jealous, don't you?

Well, of course they were. We had the best baby.

Did you notice how nervous some of them were?

I don't think they've had any experience with babies at all.

Ha! I don't know what the big fuss is.

After all, what's a baby but a short adult in plastic pants?

Oh, I know that cry.

That's an I'm wet and uncomfortable cry.

Is Uncle Balki right? Are you all wet and...

Cousin? Hmm?

The last time you-you changed little Frankie,

was he a little boy or a little girl?

What are you talking about? He's a boy.

Well, we gotta talk about that.

This baby is a girl.

That's not possible.

It is possible if we took the wrong baby home from the park.

Look for yourself.

Oh, my Lord!

That's, uh... Whoa, that's...

That's not a boy.

I just said that.

How could something like this happen?

Well, maybe it happened during the puppet show.

There were so many carriages just like Frankie's

and you didn't notice you took the wrong carriage.

I took the wrong carriage?

Well, you're the one who wanted the balloons.

Well, they were for Frankie.

Well, they're not for Frankie now.

What are we going to do? All right, all right.

We'll go back to the park and look for Frankie.

Wait a minute. I got it.

We go back to the park and look for Frankie.

Wait a minute. What if he's not there?

Oh, my God!

You did it. I didn't leave the baby.

You left the baby.

You left the door open. I didn't leave the door open.

I can't believe we couldn't find the baby.

I can't believe Gina's going to be here any minute

and we have to tell her we couldn't find the baby.

Frankie

Well, what do you think, he came home on his own?

Frankie

All right, we told everyone at the park.

We called the police, we called the newspapers.

Is there anything else we should have done?

All right, you need, you need to calm down.

Calm down.

The people who took Frankie by mistake will realize

they made a mistake and they'll bring him back here.

Do you think so? Yes.

Oh!

Unless...

They're the ones that owned the Winnebago we saw at the park.

They could be half way across the state before they realize they took the wrong baby.

Why did you have to say that?

Did I say that?

We have to get Frankie back before Gina get's here.

BOTH: Gina!

What are we going to do? No problem, we're not here.

But we are here.

In a little while she will go away, and in a couple of days

we'll call her and tell her to come and get Frankie.

You are kidding, aren't you?

Well, what do you suggest we do?

I suggest we tell her the truth.

Oh, oh, that's just fine.

And when she asks how everything went we just say,

"Oh-ho, smooth as silk with one slight hitch, we lost the baby.

"How about a soft drink?"

GINA: Hey, anybody home?

Well, I've got to open the door for her...

Oh, no, you don't. Oh, yes, I do.

Oh, no, you don't.

Cousin, I have to open the... No, no, no, no!

BOTH: Hi.

Hi! How's my little Frankie?

Oh, shh! Shh! Asleep, asleep! We'll go over here.

Oh, well, I certainly hope he wasn't too much trouble.

Well, everything was all right until today.

And then we took Frankie to the park.

And all we wanted, we meant for him to have a good time...

What Balki is trying to say is that we were having so much fun

with Frankie that we hate to see him go.

Gina, uh, I went to get a balloon for Frankie and I thought...

He thought, he thought that I wanted a balloon.

Why would I want a balloon?

But enough about us. How was your weekend?

Well, it was wonderful, very romantic.

Steve and I worked out a lot of problems.

We decided that when Frankie get's a little older,

we're going to have another baby.

Maybe we'll have a girl next time.

Maybe sooner than you think.

Gina, this is not easy.

But... We have something to tell you.

You have to know that... That you look terrible.

I do? She does not.

Yes, she does. Oh, yes, you do.

Frankie to see you until you freshen up.

You'll scare the dickens out of him!

Yeah, but Steve is waiting in the truck.

Well, he can wait. You take all the time you need.

The baby will be here when you get out.

What are you trying to do?

I'm trying to tell Gina the truth.

BOTH: Steve!

He's a teamster, he'll kill us!

Cousin, I've got to open that door.

Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no!

BOTH: Hi.

Katie! Frankie! Frankie!

Oh! Oh!

Hi, I'm Linda Richards.

When I discovered I took the wrong baby

I was almost out of my mind with worry.

Oh, he was worried. I'm just out of my mind.

I went to the park and some people told me to come here.

Thank you so much for taking care of her.

Thank you, for taking care of Frankie.

Oh, well, I better be going.

My husband has a Winnebago double-parked out front.

I'd love to hear more about your trip but, uh

I don't want you to get a ticket.

Uh, glad you dropped by.

We made it.

And you were going to tell Gina the truth.

How do we know that this is little Frankie?

There's one way to be sure.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes.

That's him, all right. That's the little baby.

Little Italian Stallion...

Well, how do I look now? You look terrific!

Oh. Oh, hi!

Thanks for everything. You guys are fantastic.

Oh, it was nothing.

Why is he wearing a t-shirt that says Katie?

Uh, well, well, uh...

You know, except for the last few hours,

I kind of enjoyed having Frankie around.

Of course for the last few hours, he wasn't around.

It makes you realize what a lot of work it is being a mother.

Oh, yeah, my mother had to raise nine of us.

You know, tomorrow I'm going to go buy a present for my mama to say thank you.

Well, that's a good idea.

I think I'll send my mother some flowers.

You know, it's, it's not easy having someone depend on you

to take care of them when they can't take care of themselves.

Yeah, that Frankie was a handful.

I was talking about you.

WOMAN: * Here's the story of a lovely lady

* Who was bringing up

* Three very lovely girls * * Da-da da-da dun *