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1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:04,136
Okay, guys, Mommy and I
are gonna be leaving
2
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,505
in a couple minutes,
and we're, uh...
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,275
Are you watching
The Hangover?
4
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:13,479
Uh, no, that's rated R.
5
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,147
Uncle Don came in
and turned it on.
6
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,549
It's way better
than SpongeBob.
7
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:23,055
I sat on the remote
and it just came on.
8
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,190
That's not what happened at all.
9
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,492
He searched for it,
found it, and then said,
10
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:27,793
"Buckle up, kids."
11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,030
Come on, man.
12
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,600
I also told you
not to tell your dad.
13
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,603
Hey, what's with
the suit?
14
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,438
Looks like you're selling pianos
at the mall.
15
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,374
It's Valentine's Day.
16
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,109
I'm taking Andi out
17
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,577
because I love her.
Hmm.
18
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,113
And because she told me to.
19
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,449
Really doing it up
fancy, huh?
20
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,051
Oh, yeah, yeah.
21
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,286
I called three weeks ago
to get us in at Staiano's
22
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,721
for dinner and dancing,
23
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:59,391
pre-ordered their special
lovers package for two,
24
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,760
and had the truck detailed for
when she throws herself at me
25
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,595
on the way home.
Hmm.
26
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,497
I forgot nothing.
27
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,233
Who's babysitting tonight?
I forgot something.
28
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,469
Oh, this is not good,
29
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,571
I don't have a babysitter.
30
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,374
Wha-- hey, are you and Marcy
doing anything special tonight?
No.
31
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,643
Every night I let Marcy lay
her head on this bear skin rug.
32
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,212
So, you know,
33
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,514
it's always Valentine's Day
at our house.
34
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:25,150
Sounds like it's always
Halloween at your house.
35
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,821
So can you babysit?
Let me call Marcy.
36
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,689
Hello?
37
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,524
Hey, babe, I got a question
about tonight.
38
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,494
So do I, where are you taking me
for Valentine's Day?
39
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,163
We got a big night
ahead of us, baby,
40
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,299
so lay out
my good underwear.
41
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,835
I can't babysit,
I screwed up big.
42
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,470
I got to find some place
to take Marcy.
43
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,405
Wha... you're never
gonna get in
44
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,574
anywhere on Valentine's Day.
45
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,410
Hey, I snuck into three Cher
concerts, I could do anything.
46
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,715
So are you guys
not going out?
47
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,817
No, no, no,
I can still save this.
48
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,552
I'll call Marie.
49
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,454
She's been single
a long time.
50
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,624
It's a sad, sad-- Marie!
51
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,159
Hey, uh, any chance
52
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,495
you could babysit tonight?
No can do.
53
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,564
I'm here with your favorite
kindergarten teacher,
54
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,900
and we are drowning
our sorrows in meat.
55
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,302
Hey, Burns, the best thing
about tonight
56
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,371
is I've hit rock bottom.
57
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:20,906
I can only go
up from here.
58
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,578
Katie, some phone calls
make you feel very lucky.
59
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,748
Lowell, it's Adam.
60
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,216
Hey.
61
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,818
Hey, uh, can you watch
my kids tonight?
62
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,487
I wish I could, Adam,
but I've got romantic plans
63
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,222
with my wife all night.
64
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,295
Time for lefty.
65
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,165
Oh, I am in big trouble.
66
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,699
Big trouble.
67
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,168
I could babysit.
68
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,669
What?
69
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,504
Wait.
70
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,174
Wait, wait.
71
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,609
Yeah, you're 13,
you're old enough now.
72
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,578
Yeah, and happy
to do it any time.
73
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,847
Wasn't even thinking
about any time.
74
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:05,384
I was just thinking
about tonight.
75
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,553
Yeah, but any time
means, like,
76
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,488
if I have to run back to
the office, you'll be here.
77
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,591
Or if Mom and I want to
see a movie, you'll be here.
78
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,627
Or if we just don't want
to be here, you'll be here!
79
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,199
This could
change our lives.
80
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,602
One thing though,
if I babysit,
81
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,737
it's gonna cost you
three dollars an hour.
82
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,307
Three dollars an hour?
83
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,509
Katie, honey...
84
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,511
that's not how
you negotiate, okay?
85
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,313
You go high, I go low.
86
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,815
Start at, like,
ten or $15.
87
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,717
Okay.
88
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,419
$15, then.
89
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,954
No, no, no, no, it's three,
you already said three.
90
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,426
Whoa, look at you.
91
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,661
And look at you.
92
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,431
I can't wait to get
you out on the town.
93
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,732
When's the babysitter
getting here?
94
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,302
Ah, Valentine's
surprise number one.
95
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,605
She's already here.
Oh.
96
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:00,839
In fact,
97
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,709
she's been here
for 13 years.
98
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:07,379
She's responsible,
well-raised,
99
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,748
you know her and you
love her, it's Katie!
100
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,753
You forgot to book
a babysitter, didn't you?
101
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,923
That's Valentine's
surprise number two.
102
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,725
Yeah, honey,
103
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,660
I-I just don't think
she's ready yet.
104
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,863
I mean, babysitters need to be
a little more, you know, mature.
105
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,599
Wha...
You let Uncle Don babysit.
106
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:32,304
Good point, Katie,
my smartest child. Huh?
107
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,739
Don was here
for five minutes
108
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,541
and Emme learned
every bad word ever.
109
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,777
They're all up here now.
110
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,014
Okay, Adam, we need to talk
in the kitchen.
111
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:44,383
That means no.
112
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,852
Do you see
how smart she is?
113
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,287
Look, I tried everyone.
114
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,755
Katie is our
only option.
115
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,423
Look, I'm fine with
Katie babysitting.
116
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,058
Just not our kids.
117
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,793
Yeah, I mean, let her
work out all the kinks
118
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,596
on that frog killer,
Tabitha, down the street.
119
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:01,600
Andi, the restaurant's only
a few minutes away, okay?
120
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,935
The kids will watch a movie,
we'll have some dinner,
121
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,704
dance to Sinatra,
122
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,406
maybe squeeze in a little
123
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,408
truck action
on the way home.
124
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,676
Come on.
125
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:11,977
I don't know.
126
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,412
It's just scary
to think about
127
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,681
leaving her in charge.
I mean,
128
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,416
I have bras
older than her.
129
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:23,055
And like those bras,
Katie has been through a lot.
130
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,060
Look, she helps me
already, okay?
131
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,661
When we get home from school,
132
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,330
she gives Teddy and Emme
their snacks,
133
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,998
she gets them started
on their homework.
134
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,067
She's really good at it.
135
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,569
Isn't that what
you're supposed to be doing?
136
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,006
Let's not get bogged down
in details, okay?
137
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,507
You know what?
Look, look, look,
138
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,076
if...
139
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:47,412
if Katie starts babysitting,
we can go out whenever we want.
140
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,716
All right? We can be that
spontaneous, happy couple
141
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:54,686
we used to be before the kids,
you know, ruined everything.
142
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,925
I think it's fun to
stay home with the kids.
143
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,464
They can't hear you.
You can tell the truth.
144
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,898
Look, can we just
try it for tonight?
145
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,868
Okay, fine.
All right?
Okay.
146
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,904
But if anything goes wrong
at the house while we're gone,
147
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,806
Katie babysitting
goes on the list of things
148
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,842
you are not allowed
to ask me to do again.
149
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,443
Okay, sure, sure, sure.
150
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:19,878
I'll put it
next to skydiving
151
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,646
and that thing I tried
on New Year's Eve.
152
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,081
Now, let's...
153
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,817
let's do this before
you change your mind, okay?
154
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,586
That's what you said
on New Year's Eve.
155
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,656
Katie,
156
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:34,126
your mother and I have
decided to let you babysit.
157
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,994
Yay!
Really?! That's amazing!
158
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,397
I won't let you down,
I promise.
Okay. All right.
159
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:39,931
But I have some rules,
all right?
160
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,000
No running, no jumping,
no climbing, no fighting,
161
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,770
no biting, no cooking,
all right?
162
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,805
A-And no trying anything
for the first time.
163
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,408
If you're not already great
at it, don't do it, okay?
164
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,110
Okay, listen,
165
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,813
if you need anything, you call
me, not your mother, me.
166
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,581
Got it?
Got it.
167
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,850
Okay. And...
168
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,919
if you need anything,
you call me, okay?
169
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,793
Be good, bye!
Oh, and lock this door.
170
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:08,860
Don't answer
this door.
171
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,195
Nothing with doors.
172
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,197
Doors equal death.
173
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:22,874
And you're dead.
174
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,011
¶ ¶
175
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,523
Do you think it's
too early to call home?
176
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,592
Honey, we left six
and a half minutes ago.
177
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,029
The kids are in good hands,
will you just relax?
178
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,865
Okay, well, as long as
everything is fine at home,
179
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,767
I'm fine.
Well...
180
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,569
I like this place.
Mm.
181
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,887
It's fancy.
Yeah.
182
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,204
You know, when I went to
the ladies' room,
183
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:55,941
the toilet seat
was heated. Yeah.
184
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,476
And not from somebody else
sitting on it.
185
00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,077
Oh.
186
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,080
Oh, and, since I'm only paying
Katie three dollars an hour,
187
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,617
I am gonna order us the second
cheapest bottle of wine.
188
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,819
Mm.
189
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,655
Hi, may I help you?
Hey, yeah, uh, we have
a reservation for two.
190
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,690
Burns.
191
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,158
Hmm. Oh,
I just seated
192
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,659
the Burns party.
193
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,563
I think I would've
remembered if that happened.
194
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,132
Is that Don?
195
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,502
Yes.
196
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,838
That seven-foot howler monkey
stole our table.
197
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,841
What the hell are you doing
at our table?
198
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,811
I took a gamble you
wouldn't find a babysitter.
199
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,145
I kind of bet
my marriage on it.
200
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,181
Okay, well,
201
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,682
Marcy's looking at me,
202
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,251
so tell me
all the lies quickly.
203
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:41,853
I told her I invited you guys
here to surprise her.
204
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,222
And that you're fighting,
and that's why you looked mad.
205
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,027
Okay, fine,
but you are buying us
206
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,695
the third cheapest
bottle of wine.
207
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,197
No problem.
208
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,832
I'm not doing that.
209
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,704
Oh, no,
Katie's calling me.
210
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,874
Katie, hey.
Are you okay?
211
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,643
Uh, yeah, we're fine.
I think that fuse blew again,
212
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:05,944
the lights went out.
213
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,779
Oh, oh, you just have
to reset the breaker.
214
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,282
You know where the breaker box
is out on the garage wall?
215
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:12,984
Yeah, you mean that thing you
told me to touch never ever?
216
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:16,021
That was when you were four,
but you're old enough now.
217
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,289
Just-- but, uh,
before you open it,
218
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,690
bang your hand on the cover
219
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,760
a couple of times
to scare the spiders.
220
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,729
Spiders? We'll just leave the
power off till you come home.
221
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,931
No, no, no, no, no, if...
222
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,732
if the power's off
when Mom gets home,
223
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,735
we'll never get our
spontaneous life back.
224
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,704
What are you talking about?
You'll understand in 30 years.
225
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,773
You know what?
I'll be home in a minute.
226
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,942
Okay, listen,
I got to run home,
227
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,110
but Andi can't know that
Katie called or that I left,
228
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,345
so cover for me,
all right?
229
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,880
Tell her that, uh...
230
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,782
Tell her you saw me
running into the bathroom.
231
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,884
Yeah, got it. You were sweating,
your hands were on your butt.
232
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:49,688
Right? And you were screaming,
"Oh, Lord help me."
233
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,189
What? No, no!
234
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,658
What's the matter?
Too religious?
235
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,698
Hey, hi, everyone.
Okay, it's just me.
236
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,967
Hi. How's everybody doing?
You good? Good? Okay.
237
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,902
Playing a board game,
that's nice. All right, good.
238
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,804
Just gonna run out here
and trip the breaker.
239
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,872
All right, nothing--
will only take a second.
240
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,140
Okay.
241
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,743
Lights will be
on in a second.
242
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,712
And the lights
are back on. Yeah.
243
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,247
Okay, all right, that's good.
And I can...
244
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,883
see that there's a spider on me!
245
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:23,688
This is so fun that Don invited
you guys here to surprise me.
246
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,957
Yeah, we're
all surprised.
247
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,729
Hey, what'd I miss?
248
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,813
Hey, how's your tummy?
249
00:10:31,814 --> 00:10:32,896
Don said you had to
borrow a pair of pants
250
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,899
from the lost and found.
251
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,803
Thanks, Don.
252
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,038
No, it was just
253
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,706
an upset stomach,
but I feel great so,
254
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,241
uh, let's get out night started.
255
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,943
May I have this dance?
256
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,881
Happy Valentine's Day.
257
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,416
Here are your personalized
champagne glasses
258
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,785
that were included
in your lovers package for two.
259
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:58,189
Why do they say
Adam and Andi?
260
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,058
What?
261
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,426
Well, shouldn't they have
our names on them?
262
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,361
I mean,
you did make the reservation.
263
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:07,832
Or is there something going on
that I should know about?
264
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,435
Just that this is an outrage!
265
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,304
This is fun.
266
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,106
Is that your phone buzzing?
267
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,374
Um...
Oh, is it Kate?
268
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,742
Well, let me check.
269
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:18,843
Uh,
270
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:19,878
no...
271
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,879
No, no, no.
272
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,113
No, that's a, uh, uh,
273
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,982
an alarm that I set for myself
274
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,352
to remind me to tell you
that I love you.
275
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,453
Oh...
276
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,155
I love you, I got to go.
277
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,322
Wait, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
278
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,991
Go where?
279
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:36,728
Babe, a love like ours
is beyond questions.
280
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,068
Listen, what's so hard about
getting a name on a glass?
281
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,437
I'm begging you,
find a Sharpie and get it done.
282
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,373
Katie called again,
I got to call her back.
283
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,208
Okay, I'll stand in front
of you so Andi can't see.
284
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,843
Fine, fine, yeah.
285
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,145
Hey, Katie, it's Dad.
Are you okay?
286
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,147
Dad, there's a bat flying around
in Emme's room
287
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,482
and she's
freaking out.
288
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,017
How did a bat get in the house?
289
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,151
It must have flown in when you
290
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,087
left the back door open
to fix the fuse.
291
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,789
Okay, no need to point fingers.
292
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,825
All right,
I-I'll be home in a minute.
293
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,761
Okay, listen,
tell Andi, uh...
294
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,230
I'll make something up.
No, no, no, no, no.
295
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,432
Uh, tell her, uh,
tell her I had to move the car.
296
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,501
I-I accidently parked
in a loading zone.
297
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,937
Okay, but I got to find a
strong drink for Marcy first.
298
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,505
She's starting to
get suspicious.
299
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,240
Really?
300
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,974
You having a hard time
outsmarting her, are you?
301
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,009
Oh, always.
302
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,311
Huh.
303
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,979
Oh, this drink looks good.
304
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,014
It's called a Mind Eraser.
305
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,018
Yeah. Mom must've
had a few of those
306
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,087
when she was pregnant with you.
307
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,124
Okay! I'm here.
308
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,859
I'm here!
309
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,826
Hello?
310
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:42,961
Oh, it's okay,
311
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,829
I got him to fly
out the window.
312
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,465
Really?
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
313
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,067
You're the best babysitter ever.
314
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,068
See that?
315
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,035
Nothing to be scared of.
316
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,771
Just a little bat.
317
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,875
Ah! The bat's out here!
318
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,511
It's chasing me!
319
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,217
Not again.
320
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,319
Hey, Katie.
What is it this time?
321
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,822
Never mind, I'm coming.
322
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,257
Hey, pal.
323
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,292
Hi, Dad.
324
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,963
Okay, ready?
325
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,098
Yeah.
Out you go.
326
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,803
What a rush.
327
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,037
Yeah, it's good, right?
328
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,505
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay,
329
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:28,972
please don't do that again,
all right?
330
00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:30,439
All right, I got to go.
You call me if you need me.
331
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,980
Hey, Mom.
332
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,348
Hey, honey, just checking in.
333
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,184
Oh, uh, don't worry,
Dad just left.
334
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,453
Wait, your-your dad was there?
335
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,423
Yeah, to get Teddy's head
out of the banister.
336
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,958
What?
337
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,493
:
Kate, what happened?
338
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,961
Which time?
339
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,463
"Which time?"
340
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,432
Oh, it... it's no big deal.
341
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,267
Dad only came home
when the fuse blew out,
342
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,369
when the bat was upstairs
and when Teddy's head got stuck.
343
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,307
I thought you guys
told each other stuff.
344
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,309
Yeah, so did I.
345
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,277
Okay, honey, well, I think
346
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,879
we'll be home very soon.
347
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,081
Okay? Bye-bye.
348
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,050
Excuse me?
349
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,953
I would like your most expensive
bottle of wine, please.
350
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,294
This drink is delicious.
I don't even care
351
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,530
if my name's not on the glass.
352
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,965
There you go.
353
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,399
And there's hardly
any alcohol in there,
354
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,134
so you could have
as many as you want.
355
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,638
Hey.
356
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,607
Hey.
357
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:38,409
Honey, it sure took you
a long time to move the car.
358
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,145
Yeah, well,
I had to circle around forever.
359
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,114
Practically ended up
back at the house.
360
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,151
I hate when
I can't find a parking spot.
361
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,888
It just makes me
want to blow a fuse.
362
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:55,326
Well, that... that was very
specifically worded.
363
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,196
It just drives me...
364
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,631
batty.
365
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,968
It's over, man.
366
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,939
Why didn't you tell me you
had to go home three times?
367
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,207
I'm sorry.
368
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,409
I wasn't thinking straight
because I got caught up
369
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,945
in this beautiful
fantasy.
370
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,680
Imagine this:
it's a typical night,
371
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,949
the kids are tired and fighting,
372
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,384
and what do we do?
373
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,185
We just walk out the door.
374
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,355
Because the babysitter
is already there.
375
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,960
All right, I mean,
that does sound pretty good.
376
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,962
And Katie did the right thing:
every time there was a problem,
377
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,196
she called me.
378
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,598
We can trust her.
379
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,934
'Cause she was raised
by a good mother.
380
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,136
A good, smokin' hot mother.
381
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,604
Okay, okay.
382
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,606
Too much?
383
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,975
No, I mean, I like it.
384
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,711
I like the fantasy,
385
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,947
I-I like the whole thing.
386
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,548
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm gonna call Katie
387
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,317
and tell her what a good job
she's doing.
388
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,385
Great, great.
Then let's go enjoy our night.
389
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,587
We still got a lot to look
forward to: dinner, dancing,
390
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,624
fireworks when Don's night
goes up in flames.
391
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,428
Adam, she's not picking up.
392
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,464
What?
393
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,669
This night is going great.
394
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,738
I think I'm actually
gonna get away with it.
395
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,724
Hey, bartender,
396
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,709
another Mind Eraser,
shaky, shaky.
397
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:19,644
Five rings,
398
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,347
six rings... voice mail.
399
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,649
Voice mail, Adam!
Well, why isn't she answering?
400
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,551
I don't know, but we need to
get home to our kids right now!
401
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,685
All right, all right, that's it,
402
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,653
we're out of here.
403
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,654
Oh!
404
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,022
Oh...
405
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:31,656
Oh, sorry, buddy.
406
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,424
Uh, he'll pay for it.
407
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,526
I-I got to go!
408
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,362
Why do I have to pay for it?
409
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,730
It wasn't even my reservation!
410
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,267
What did you just say?
411
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,739
Oh, I was so close.
412
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,042
Still no answer.
413
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,510
Can you drive faster?
414
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,711
Well, I...
My God,
415
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:54,712
when we're going
for fried chicken,
416
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,347
you're breaking
the sound barrier.
417
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,182
All right, hold on.
418
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,688
Oh, you got to
be kidding me!
419
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,626
I'm soaked in booze.
420
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,261
He's gonna think
I've been drinking.
421
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,363
You got any perfume
or something to cover the smell?
422
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,499
Uh... ooh, this'll work.
423
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:15,600
This'll work, okay.
424
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,535
Ow! What the
hell was that?
425
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,103
It's-it's lavender hair spray,
426
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,772
with-with a little bit
of glitter.
427
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,074
It's why I look
like a princess tonight.
428
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,078
It's in my eyes!
429
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,112
Okay, uh...
430
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,114
Give me something
to wipe my eyes.
431
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,050
I don't...
I don't have anything.
432
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,818
I... here, oh, here.
433
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,087
Use my dress.
Okay.
434
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,656
Oh...
435
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,799
Good evening, officer.
436
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,635
Well, I pulled you over
for doing 50 in a 35,
437
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,738
but by the look of things, we
have a bit more to talk about.
438
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,840
Oh...
439
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,576
Doesn't he look
like a princess?
440
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,427
Are these your parents?
441
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,529
I'm afraid so.
442
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,535
What do you two have to say
for yourselves?
443
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,772
I'm sorry, honey.
444
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,108
Oh, sure,
apologize to her.
445
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,476
My eyes got glittered,
446
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,345
it's like I'm living
in a snow globe.
447
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:37,281
Look, me babysitting
isn't gonna work
448
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,217
if you can't be
more responsible.
449
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,286
You're right.
450
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,422
Yeah.
451
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,556
What was that?
452
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:50,761
You're right. God.
453
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,829
Now...
454
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,698
I'm gonna put
these two to bed.
455
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,334
Just know, I'm not mad.
456
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,668
I'm disappointed.
457
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,906
We're all
disappointed.
458
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,581
Well, clearly Kate's
bossy enough to babysit.
459
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,750
I'm sorry, honey.
460
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,186
I really wanted this
to be a special night for you.
461
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,855
Well, I mean, you know,
we got covered in drinks,
462
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,391
covered in glitter and
detained by the police.
463
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,295
Before we had kids, we would've
called that a pretty fun night.
464
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,364
Yeah.
465
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,466
And it's not over yet.
466
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,935
I still have one more
Valentine's Day gift for you.
467
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,304
But I have to give it
to you upstairs.
468
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,307
Oh, so the same thing
you got me last year?
469
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,178
Well, it might be
in a different order,
470
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,812
but we end up
in the same place.
471
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,215
All right, let's go.
472
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:01,732
Turns out Mind Erasers wear off.
473
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,971
Get in here,
you big howler monkey.
474
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,347
Okay, Kate, we're headed out.
475
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,683
Now remember,
doors are still death
476
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,651
and try to keep Teddy's head
out of the banister.
477
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,953
I know he's quick.
478
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,455
And, uh, call us
if you need anything.
479
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,390
Same deal as before,
three dollars an hour.
480
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,527
I'm thinking ten.
481
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:32,263
What?
When did the price go up?
482
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:35,499
When you bought
non-refundable movie tickets.
483
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,370
Now that's how you negotiate.
484
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:42,373
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
485
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,508
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34448
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