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1
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,792
- Previously, on "Happy!"...
It's Hailey's birthday!
2
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:13,187
all:
♪ Happy birthday to...
3
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,363
- [shrieks]
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,495
- Hailey!
- Happy birthday.
5
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:20,194
- How did you know?
- That's what friends are for.
6
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,370
- You want me to kill you?
7
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,720
- It's not me, Pink.
It's someone else.
8
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,200
- Orcus.
9
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,549
- Hey, hot stuff.
10
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,638
- You're cheating on me.
[toy thunks]
11
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,423
- Come on!
- [screams]
12
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,077
[air hisses]
13
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,471
- You forgot my birthday, Mom!
- Something I can't remember,
14
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:39,430
something I can't understand.
15
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:40,736
I know what I have to do now.
16
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,738
I'm here to see Sonny Shine.
17
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,261
- He's got blackmail
on everyone.
18
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,480
It's on videotape.
19
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,221
- The real stuff's gotta
be at Shine Tower,
20
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,353
so that is where
we're gonna go.
21
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,660
- I run the third-largest
network in the nation.
22
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,184
- [screaming]
23
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,359
- [gasps]
24
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:58,188
- This is my stage, Sonny!
[grunts]
25
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,408
[microphone feedback]
26
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,366
[bones crunching]
27
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,238
- I killed it.
- [shrieks]
28
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,804
- Whatever it was that
came out of that thing,
29
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,763
I put it in a jelly jar.
I stuck it in the fridge.
30
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,678
- [gasps, groaning]
31
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,680
- Holy shit.
- Nick, where are you?
32
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:12,811
- Some dad.
33
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,857
He forgot
his daughter's birthday.
34
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,467
- And I'm, uh, going
right there and I'm gonna
35
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:17,816
get her the stuffed, uh--
what do you call it?
36
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,253
- The Wishees.
37
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,646
- [sobbing]
38
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,824
[jaunty music]
39
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:32,918
♪
40
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:49,152
[eerie music]
41
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:56,203
♪
42
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,164
- [hollering]
43
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,600
[heavy metal music]
44
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:03,949
[suits squeak]
45
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:08,258
♪
46
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,260
[music stops]
47
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:13,655
[overlapping chatter]
[phones ringing]
48
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,658
[man singing and
screaming indistinctly]
49
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:20,270
♪
50
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,535
[grunting]
51
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,884
[sighs]
Fuck.
52
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,669
[gunshot]
- My ass!
53
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,018
- Sax?
54
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,802
male narrator:
Two Sockatoos, one bullet--
55
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,370
the timeframe: 5.6 seconds.
56
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,677
The bullet leaves
Merry McCarthy's Glock 25
57
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,246
at 1:34 p.m. at a velocity
of 1,200 feet per second.
58
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,943
It penetrates
the Wishee costume,
59
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,466
then makes a sharp,
60
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,338
nigh impossible
change of direction,
61
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,949
continuing at an angle
of 27 diagonal degrees
62
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,646
through Sax's grassy knoll,
63
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,996
barely grazing his
two pimpled flesh mounds.
64
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,870
Defying all laws of gravity,
probability, and decency,
65
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,785
the bullet then bursts free
of the dark canyon,
66
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,309
narrowly avoiding
the all-too-tempting target
67
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,876
of Sax's sweet--
68
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,225
[ding]
69
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,661
That's some bullet.
70
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,968
[funky music]
71
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,013
- How the hell did you
get this thing out of there?
72
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,015
- Like shoving a cat
in a mason jar, Mer.
73
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:13,367
[both grunting, panting]
74
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,543
I don't know.
75
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,371
Dipshit Dan just might
be on to something.
76
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,677
Maybe this thing is
from another planet.
77
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,636
- Doug's dead.
Sonny killed him.
78
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,900
- Yeah, Doug, right,
not Dan.
79
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,945
Sorry.
80
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,731
[both grunting]
81
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,386
- What the hell were you doing
at Shine Tower anyway?
82
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,865
- Yeah, the
million-dollar question, Mer.
83
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,258
I got no idea.
84
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,782
Last thing I remember...
[grunts]
85
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,915
I was in your kitchen
eating a PB&J.
86
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,526
- Oh, that wasn't "J."
You ate its blood.
87
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,746
♪
88
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,269
I know what you're thinking.
89
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,923
- No, you don't.
90
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,011
- Go on.
- What?
91
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,142
- Say it.
- No.
92
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,927
- The blood brought you back
to its host.
93
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,537
- I think you know how
full-batshit you sound.
94
00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,626
- Sure do, and yet...
95
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,934
- And yet...
96
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,501
- Oh, hey.
- What?
97
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,633
- Found another tape.
- Oh, no more sex tape shit.
98
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:05,070
- It's Kap Gostynski.
- Mm.
99
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,594
- He's the head of
the network, Sax.
100
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:07,856
- Exactly, who gives a shit?
101
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,031
- Don't you know
what that means?
102
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,859
We're gonna hit Sonny
where he's soft.
103
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,034
- No, we're not.
104
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,558
What we are gonna do
is cut this thing open
105
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,559
and see what's inside him.
106
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:16,778
Now use your legs,
not your back,
107
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,301
count of three.
108
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,911
One, two--
109
00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,914
[Wishee splats]
110
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,439
Did you use your legs?
111
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:31,836
♪
112
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,492
One, two, three.
[both grunt]
113
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,886
[both panting]
114
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,454
- Seriously,
what the fuck is it?
115
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,977
- Well, according
to Dayglo Doug,
116
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,370
sometime in the Etruscan Age--
117
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,720
- That's not funny.
- Well, look, Mer,
118
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,461
I know this may be hard
to believe, but I, too,
119
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,941
have had occasion to question
my sanity as of late.
120
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:51,116
- Oh, I believe it.
121
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,466
- Well, you know,
alls I'm saying is that
122
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,076
your best bet is just
roll with it.
123
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:57,601
You know, don't overthink it.
124
00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:01,475
Thinking, actually, is bad.
125
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,867
- Let go of me!
126
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:06,871
I want to see Sonny Shine!
127
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,830
Tell him it's Amanda Hansen!
128
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,398
You have no right
to keep me in here.
129
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,921
[panting]
130
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,923
[sighs]
131
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,969
[foreboding music]
132
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,015
[approaching footsteps]
133
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,756
- Miss Hansen.
134
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,758
You're back.
- I want answers, Shine.
135
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,760
- You want answers.
136
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:29,416
I want answers!
137
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:30,678
[deep breath]
138
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376
Someone stole something
from my building.
139
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,074
Two not-as-yet-but-soon-to-be
identified individuals
140
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:39,687
broke in and made off
with something very,
141
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,950
very precious to me.
142
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:45,823
The violation of it all,
Miss Hansen...
143
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,651
♪
144
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,393
The violation...
145
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,916
But I'm sure you wouldn't
know anything about that.
146
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,703
[sniffs]
I'm sure your being here
147
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,053
is a complete coincidence.
148
00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,881
- You're covered in blood.
149
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,579
- I met up with an old friend.
Things got crazy.
150
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,625
I don't have time for this.
151
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,496
I have a show to prepare for.
152
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,150
I'll keep this simple.
Why are you here?
153
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,544
- That night--
154
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:13,938
that night in your tower,
155
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,724
something happened to me.
156
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:20,423
Now you are gonna tell me
what you did to me or--
157
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,860
- [whistles]
158
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:26,081
- [screams]
[panting]
159
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,823
[whimpering]
160
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,913
[panting]
161
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,659
- Shh.
162
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,574
[Wishee chirping, burbling]
163
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,837
Yes?
[Wishees chirping, burbling]
164
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,969
Yes, yes.
165
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,147
No, no.
166
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:52,150
[laughs]
Color me gobsmacked.
167
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,718
♪
168
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:58,853
You are special.
169
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:01,943
I know what's missing
in your life.
170
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,771
And shame on them
for being such
171
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,817
super secret keepers!
172
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:10,038
Miss Hansen, you're with child.
173
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,954
♪
174
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,173
- What?
175
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,567
- Listen, sister, I'm with you.
176
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:20,222
I--my hard drive's
whirling away.
177
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,050
- [heavy breathing]
178
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,966
- Oh, you're a woman,
179
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:28,578
and you've got a lot
of nonsensical emotions,
180
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,059
um, brewing up
in you right now.
181
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,930
- [screams]
Let go of me!
182
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,063
- I know what you need.
183
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,804
♪
184
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,807
[dark music]
185
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,983
♪
186
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:45,116
This will fill that void
you're feeling inside.
187
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,119
[eerie music]
188
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,512
♪
189
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,166
Come back when you need more.
190
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,212
- [whimpering]
191
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:57,215
[romantic music]
192
00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:04,309
♪
193
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,533
- You sure can do some
cool stuff with your tongue.
194
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,752
- Friend showed me,
195
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,318
and you don't know
the half of it.
196
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,843
- My friend Hailey showed me
how to do this...
197
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,975
♪
198
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,803
- Oh, wow.
199
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,675
- We used to do
everything together--
200
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:25,026
the carousel,
flying kites by the pier.
201
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,854
- Uh-huh.
202
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,552
- Last year on her birthday,
we made paper lanterns
203
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,336
with, like, all the colors.
204
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,599
She was so happy.
205
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,558
But this year
I forgot her birthday.
206
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,343
That look on her face, she--
she's just changed so much.
207
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,041
- For shit's sake!
208
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,912
Hailey, Hailey, Hailey!
209
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,175
Is that all you can talk about?
210
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,700
- Uh, what?
- She's not thinking about you.
211
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,571
Why are you thinking about her?
212
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,095
"Friends."
Ha, what a scam.
213
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:54,272
We exist for them,
and then they just forget.
214
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:57,362
What kind of a friend is that?
215
00:08:57,406 --> 00:09:00,757
Hmm, c'est la vie,
am I right?
216
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,716
- I think so?
217
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,587
- Let's get out of here,
218
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,589
do something crazy.
219
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:10,027
- Isn't this crazy?
220
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:13,857
- Sure, but I'm
talking about...
221
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,904
- [laughs]
That's what she said.
222
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,254
[devious music]
223
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,472
- So where do you want
to start?
224
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,910
- Give me an asshole,
a mouth, or something.
225
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,999
Get my bearings.
226
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:28,916
- [clicks tongue]
Try the middle?
227
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,962
[saw whirring]
228
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,618
[flesh squelching]
[Wishee screeches]
229
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,272
- [grunts]
230
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:40,275
[Wishee screeching]
231
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:43,321
[dramatic music]
232
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,760
♪
233
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:47,935
- Third weirdest thing
I've seen all day.
234
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,153
- Did you see where it went?
235
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:50,894
- That truck hit me,
all I saw was stars
236
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,243
and little birds
spinning around.
237
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,767
Tweet, tweet.
Tweet, tweet.
238
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,769
- Le Dic, what the fuck
are you doing here?
239
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,335
- I'm doing you one,
big, hard solid--
240
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,250
though I don't know
why I should.
241
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,383
Someone wants you dead.
- Oh, shocker.
242
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:02,950
Who is it this time?
243
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,256
- The Bug.
244
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,606
- What'd he say?
245
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,651
- He tempted me with all
my vices rolled into one.
246
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,959
Ladies, liquor, and luck.
[women moan]
247
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,830
He baited that hook
248
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,050
with the finest
Cajun country pie
249
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,313
you've ever almost tasted--
250
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,054
by pie, I mean pussy.
251
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,098
- Yep.
252
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,360
- This Bug gets me
all drugged up,
253
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,145
says he's looking
for a taxi driver.
254
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,799
Someone's been getting up
in his business,
255
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,975
robbed his house, busted up
one of his operations,
256
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,237
and he wants a name,
257
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,368
and he just knows
I can give it to him.
258
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,935
So I play it cool, right?
259
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,416
But he looks at you with
those big, round bug eyes--
260
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,723
shiny like an oil slick,
and I'm smart.
261
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,942
I say, "I tell you a name,
I'm as good as dead.
262
00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,248
"So I'll do one better,
263
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,771
and I'll bring him
straight to you."
264
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,990
- I'm touched, Le Dic, really.
265
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,121
- I ain't
criss-crossing you, Sax.
266
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,993
That is why I'm here.
- Yeah, right.
267
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734
Honor amongst scumbags?
- Exactly.
268
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,214
This Bug--he ain't one of us.
269
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,216
To tell you the truth, well,
this ain't the first time
270
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:55,002
that I seen him.
271
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,308
I used to be into
some weird sexual shit.
272
00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,702
I ain't too proud to admit it--
273
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,836
role-play,
getting beat up, whipped,
274
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,012
wolf bag, scatty pants--
275
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,709
- Jesus Christ.
Get to the point.
276
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,232
- I moved through
dark circles--
277
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,147
nasty, pervy--
278
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:14,935
till one night, I end up
at this high-roller's orgy,
279
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,328
latex lovers
dressed like animals.
280
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,461
I don't remember what happened,
but I remember that Bug.
281
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:22,072
And he was right there
in the middle of all of it.
282
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:26,033
Whatever happened
there, well...
283
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:29,166
it made me do caca
in my Hanes.
284
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,864
I never wanted
to go back there after that.
285
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,866
- And yet--
- Six, seven times tops.
286
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,215
- Okay, where was this orgy?
287
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,260
- That's the crazy part.
288
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,871
Shine Tower,
289
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,222
you know,
that kiddy clown on TV.
290
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,137
Yeah, well...
291
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,356
roll this up
and smoke it, Sax.
292
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,445
A little bird told me
another one
293
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,056
of those nasty parties
is going off,
294
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,535
and I mean tonight.
295
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,928
[phone ringing]
296
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,931
- Look, we need--oh.
297
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,368
- [stammers]
- Uh, hey.
298
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,980
- Nick, I'm gonna need you
to take Hailey today.
299
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:03,244
- Uh, now's not a good time--
- Don't you dare.
300
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:06,073
Don't you dare finish
that sentence, Nicholas.
301
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,031
Don't you dare!
302
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,338
[phone line beeping]
303
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,863
[shoes squeaking]
304
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,909
- Uh, yeah, I gotta
take care of something.
305
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:16,910
- Really? Now?
306
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,216
- You, I want in
to Pervapalooza.
307
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,131
- Can do.
308
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:24,961
But you're gonna
need a costume.
309
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:27,790
- Warden.
310
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,313
- [scoffs]
311
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:32,099
Goddamn Wolfpack.
312
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,101
You can stand.
313
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:37,278
Won't be long.
314
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,888
Not a hockey fan?
315
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,195
- Calcio Storico.
316
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:42,500
600 years old.
317
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,851
They still play it once a year.
318
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,505
Piazza Santa Croce.
319
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,377
That's in Florence.
320
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,988
Florence, Italy.
321
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:55,209
Now, if you were to turn up
with your stick,
322
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:58,299
and your pads,
and your helmet...
323
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,257
they'd shove them all
up your ass
324
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:03,217
and you'd buy them
a pint afterwards.
325
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,263
Makes your hockey seem
rather like foxy boxing,
326
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,179
which I do happen
to hold in high regard--
327
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,312
foxy boxing, that is,
328
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,530
not hockey.
329
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:17,361
- Let's talk about,
uh, this whole...
330
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:20,843
Kumbaya thing
you got going on.
331
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:21,931
- "Kumbaya"?
332
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,020
- I see what's going on
out there--
333
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:27,850
Aryan Brotherhood,
Black Gangster Disciples,
334
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:31,941
and Nuestra Familia
all getting along together
335
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,856
like a Waldorf salad.
336
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,423
There hasn't been
a violent incident
337
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:38,382
or a disciplinary infraction
338
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,995
of any kind
in over 72 hours.
339
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,998
- That's lovely.
- That's not lovely.
340
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:48,436
That's fucking unacceptable,
341
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,874
because if the gangs
aren't fighting each other,
342
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,182
they're fighting the guards,
they're fighting me,
343
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,271
and I have to keep the peace.
344
00:13:57,314 --> 00:14:00,013
And, uh...
[laughs]
345
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,102
Ooh.
[hisses through teeth]
346
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,192
Keeping the peace can hurt.
347
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,063
[tense music]
348
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,499
You get me?
349
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:11,372
- I think I do.
- I like to hear that.
350
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,983
I like that you and I
351
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,377
can be on the level.
352
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,944
It stops,
353
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,468
or you are gonna spend
the rest of your days
354
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,906
with that hockey stick
shoved up your ass,
355
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:27,214
and we won't be
grabbing any pints,
356
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,130
you and me.
357
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:34,047
Understand?
358
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,919
I'm gonna need you to say
359
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:39,008
you understand.
360
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,141
♪
361
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,534
- Perfectly.
362
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:47,408
[mellow music]
363
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,279
- This is your place?
364
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:52,587
- I, you know,
crash here with my friend.
365
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,589
- The infamous Hailey.
366
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,634
- No, not--not Hailey, Nick.
367
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,941
- Excusez-moi?
368
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,074
- It--it's complicated.
369
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,119
- I'm complicated.
Try me.
370
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,252
- Well, I haven't
told anybody this,
371
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:08,429
but I got a new friend, Nick.
372
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,213
He's Hailey's dad.
373
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,694
She stopped believing
and he needed me,
374
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,957
so I'm Nick's friend now.
375
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,742
- You're telling me
you jumped friends?
376
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:22,095
[laughing]
377
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,098
Sweetie, I know you're
going through a hard time,
378
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,187
but what you're saying
is shiznuts.
379
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,536
Your friend's your friend.
380
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:31,017
When your friend stops
believing, you disappear.
381
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,280
We don't change friends.
382
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:37,110
I mean, if we could do that,
are we even imaginary?
383
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,503
- Oh, I'm imaginary, all right.
384
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:42,115
I'm an imaginary lemon.
385
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,638
I can't help anybody.
386
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,466
- Okay, Happy?
387
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,642
You're killing my buzz.
388
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:50,645
[stirring music]
389
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,561
♪
390
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,781
What happened to that
badass bucking bronco
391
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,001
who rallied the troops
and took down
392
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655
Psycho Santa Claus?
393
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,571
- I--I did do that, didn't I?
394
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,312
- Hell yeah, you did.
395
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,489
When you said "pick on someone
your own size,"
396
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:11,535
you could have wrung out
my panties with a mop bucket.
397
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,103
It's time to forget
about your friends--
398
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:18,151
all of them--
before they forget about you.
399
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,197
So, you ever done it before?
400
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,503
- "It"?
- Yeah.
401
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,331
You know, it--
402
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333
with a girl.
- Oh!
403
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,291
[clears throat]
It.
404
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:29,684
[stammering]
Yeah, it.
405
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,686
Totally.
Oh, tons of times.
406
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:36,125
I'm really good at it.
407
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,040
- Oh, boy.
408
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:41,043
Don't worry, Happy,
I got this.
409
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,918
[party horns blowing]
all: ♪ Happy birthday...
410
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:51,010
- Um, so I, um--
411
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,489
I--I kinda got held up.
412
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:53,708
- Huh?
413
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,015
- But, um...
414
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,974
I know what day it was.
415
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,063
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
416
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:04,936
You know, I--
'cause I meant to...
417
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,851
with the balloons...
418
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:10,246
eating, uh, the sugary...
419
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,857
with the clowns
holding farm animals,
420
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,163
little favor things.
421
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,165
- Are you trying to describe
a birthday party?
422
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,516
- Yeah, the point--
the point is, um...
423
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,084
[mellow rock music
playing over speakers]
424
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:25,827
It--it was our
first birthday,
425
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,873
you know, as father-daughter,
and, um...
426
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,746
♪
427
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:35,097
It was important.
428
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,273
I'm sorry.
429
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,275
♪
430
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,886
- 24 hour rule.
431
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,063
We can do something today.
432
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,674
♪
433
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,589
You can't.
- No, I'd love to.
434
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,894
I'd love to.
435
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,287
I--I--there's just
this thing that I gotta--
436
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,073
all: Birthday!
- Oh, thank Christ.
437
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,118
all: ♪ Birthdays are lovely
and birthdays are sweet ♪
438
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,903
♪ So thanks for choosing us
and choosing our treats ♪
439
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,210
- Where you going?
- Bathroom.
440
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,820
- You need help?
441
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,648
all: ♪ World-famous
Zoodle Cake for $13.99! ♪
442
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:05,693
- No way!
- Yes way!
443
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,695
- Hooray!
all: Birthday!
444
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,305
♪ So thanks
for choosing us and ♪
445
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,699
[all trail off]
446
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,702
[Bryan Ferry's
"Slave to Love" over speakers]
447
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,357
♪
448
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,012
[lighter flicking]
449
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,363
- Trouble getting it up?
450
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:28,150
♪
451
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,934
- I am so happy right now.
452
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,633
No, really, I was afraid
that you was dead.
453
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,113
I mean,
getting shot in the face
454
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,245
is not exactly
a night out at Studio 54--
455
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,204
not to mention
the ever-present risk
456
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,596
of a catheter infection.
457
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,859
For a guy like you,
458
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:45,602
the possibilities are endless.
459
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,127
And then...
460
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,259
I wouldn't be able--
- To kill me yourself, yes.
461
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,870
- Yeah.
- Very sweet--
462
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:56,091
as sweet as that ripe,
red little cherry.
463
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,747
How's life since I took yours?
464
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,966
- I'm walking a bit more
like John Wayne because of you,
465
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,665
but, eh, I've been worse.
466
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,624
Yourself?
467
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,149
[gasps]
Whoa!
468
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:13,891
- Yeah, life has been,
um, interesting
469
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,197
since our last tango.
470
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,720
- All right,
you're already boring me.
471
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,114
Maybe you're feeling
suicidal coming here.
472
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,985
Maybe you think that
I don't dare fuck you up
473
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,423
in the middle of Greaser Gary's
Shit and Biscuit Roadhouse.
474
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:27,992
Either way, this...
475
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,082
is not gonna end well for you.
476
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,215
- Don't cause a scene, Sax.
- [grunts]
477
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,391
- Think of all the children--
478
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,132
especially yours.
479
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,135
[sinister music]
480
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,963
- The only thing
I'm thinking about now
481
00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,660
is how I'm gonna
rip out your piss tube
482
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,141
and shove it into your good eye
until I hit brain.
483
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,925
- It's fascinating.
484
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,015
When we first met,
you had nothing to lose,
485
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,235
nothing to live for
but that next drink,
486
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,410
next blackout.
487
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,717
It gave you a kind
of invulnerability.
488
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,067
But now...
489
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:00,808
don't you see?
490
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,723
[bottle squelches]
491
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:05,204
Daddy can't be naughty.
492
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,901
Imagine she comes out
of the bathroom
493
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,208
and sees papa
dragged off to prison.
494
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,036
And just when you came back
into her life.
495
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,777
[scoffs]
496
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,868
She's a complicated
little thing, that Hailey.
497
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,218
- Say her name again.
498
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,872
- I am so glad that
she and I had the chance
499
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,266
to get to know each other
over the holidays.
500
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,399
- I know you think
you're a real sick fuck,
501
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:30,054
but trust me.
502
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,361
You're a goddamn amateur
compared to what goes on
503
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,972
on top of this skull
right here.
504
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,192
Now, you're not half capable
of understanding
505
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,282
what the fuck I would do to you
if you ever touched that child.
506
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,284
- Don't insult me.
507
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,243
I can assure you
I have no intention
508
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,462
of touching your daughter.
509
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,508
What I have in mind for you
510
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,162
is on a completely
different level of fuckery.
511
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,730
You truly have no idea.
512
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:57,038
It almost makes me feel...
513
00:20:57,081 --> 00:21:00,868
well, no.
514
00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,131
But she has been in there
a long time, hasn't she?
515
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:06,090
I hope she's okay.
516
00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,397
Make a wish.
517
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,486
♪
518
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:13,272
- [grunts]
- Oh, my God, Dad!
519
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,360
- Washing your hands,
that's good.
520
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,274
There are a lot
of germs everywhere.
521
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,885
I'll let you finish up.
522
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,279
["Slave to Love"
continues over speakers]
523
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:24,021
- ♪ And the spring
is turning ♪
524
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,936
- Grab your shit.
We're going to Grandma's.
525
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,243
- Grandma's dead.
- [sighs]
526
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,376
Not that grandma.
527
00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:33,292
- ♪ I can see your smile
all: ♪ Slave to love
528
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,468
- ♪ Na-na-na-na
- ♪ Oh!
529
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,471
[funky music]
530
00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:39,994
♪
531
00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:41,474
[doorbell buzzes]
532
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:46,348
♪
533
00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,177
[door creaks]
534
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:52,354
- I bought three boxes
of Samoas from you last week,
535
00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,574
Now what, are you crooks
trying to rob my pension?
536
00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:56,315
- Mom, Ma, it's me.
537
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,534
Nicky.
538
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,323
- Drawing a blank.
539
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:07,804
- Don't you recognize
your own kid?
540
00:22:07,848 --> 00:22:09,197
- She don't look
nothing like me.
541
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,416
- Not her, me.
542
00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:12,461
- Nicky,
I'm busting your balls.
543
00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:13,984
I'm fuckin' with you.
Come on in.
544
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,377
You look like shit, by the way.
545
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,032
Entrez-vous, kids.
546
00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:19,468
- Um...
547
00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:20,600
[door slams]
548
00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:22,471
Yeah, yeah, I know
it's been a while.
549
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:26,867
- Time flies when we're dodging
familial responsibilities.
550
00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,521
Who wants a drink?
- Eh, no.
551
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:30,436
I'm--I'm dry-ish.
552
00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:31,611
- One bullshit.
How about you?
553
00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,264
- Now, Ma, come on.
554
00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:36,050
- What?
Virgin.
555
00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:38,052
It's not.
- No booze for the kid!
556
00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:40,968
- It's called manners, you ape.
557
00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:44,145
Whatever floats your boat.
558
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:47,235
Oh, I'm just glad
you got back in time.
559
00:22:47,278 --> 00:22:49,368
I got the cancer.
560
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,108
The big "C".
561
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:53,459
Doctors give me 15,
20 good years left.
562
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,286
- Ah, Christ, Ma.
563
00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,898
- It's already left a mark.
564
00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,508
- I'm sorry.
565
00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:01,118
- Well,
566
00:23:01,162 --> 00:23:04,252
not as much as he is, kiddo.
567
00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,645
Right here.
568
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:08,212
Right here's where
the milky magic used to happen.
569
00:23:08,256 --> 00:23:09,518
- Why are we sharing this?
570
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:12,913
- It's called conversation,
you orangutan.
571
00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:15,263
All right, brass tacks now.
572
00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:17,570
Who's my competition?
[snarls]
573
00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:20,355
- Uh, Janet, this is, uh--
574
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:24,228
this is your granddaughter,
Hailey.
575
00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:26,405
- And she has a name.
576
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,537
Oh, and by the looks of things,
she's had it for what?
577
00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:30,234
Nine, ten years?
578
00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:32,541
- 11, just.
579
00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:34,500
- Oh, belated.
580
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:37,938
- All right, look--
all right, I know it's been
581
00:23:37,981 --> 00:23:39,243
a long time, and--and I know
582
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,506
I should have told you
about the kid.
583
00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:42,551
- And the kid about her.
- I was gonna get to it!
584
00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,292
You know,
we had a lot to cover!
585
00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:46,642
But we're here now, right,
all together.
586
00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:49,297
And I just thought
maybe it'd be a good time
587
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,646
for yous to get
to know each other, right?
588
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:53,040
Bonding time.
- "Bonding time"?
589
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,522
- Bonding time.
- "Bonding."
590
00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:58,611
I'll bond you
with the back of my hand,
591
00:23:58,654 --> 00:24:00,177
you bed-wetting bastard!
592
00:24:00,221 --> 00:24:01,527
Now out with it!
- Stay here.
593
00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:04,094
[grunts, sighs]
594
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,272
As I'm sure you're aware,
I got a, um,
595
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,145
tendency to attract
negative energy to me--
596
00:24:11,188 --> 00:24:14,975
nothing I can't handle--
but with the kid...
597
00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:18,326
You know, if Hailey's close
to me, then she ain't safe.
598
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,197
[muffled]
You know?
599
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,590
She needs her Grandma Sax.
600
00:24:21,634 --> 00:24:23,287
- "Grandma"?
- Okay, Janet.
601
00:24:23,331 --> 00:24:25,942
But I just need someone
I can trust who can--
602
00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:28,162
- All right, don't get
your tighties in a tizzy.
603
00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:29,598
I've been taking care of things
604
00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:31,295
since before
your butthole turned brown.
605
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:33,254
I'll take care of her now.
606
00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,474
I'll watch the kid.
607
00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:38,477
[soft dramatic music]
608
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,304
♪
609
00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:42,219
- [sighs]
610
00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:44,091
[clicks tongue]
611
00:24:44,134 --> 00:24:45,614
- Let me guess.
You gotta go.
612
00:24:45,658 --> 00:24:46,963
- There's only
one thing I want,
613
00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:48,182
and that's for you to be safe.
614
00:24:48,225 --> 00:24:50,010
And that's why I gotta do
what I gotta do.
615
00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,099
- Sure.
Go.
616
00:24:52,142 --> 00:24:54,318
♪
617
00:24:54,362 --> 00:24:56,059
- You're gonna be okay here.
You know that, right?
618
00:24:56,103 --> 00:24:57,496
I'm gonna come back for you.
619
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,150
- Yep.
620
00:25:00,194 --> 00:25:02,762
- Okay.
621
00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:05,286
Try to keep her away
from the goddamn moonshine.
622
00:25:05,329 --> 00:25:08,507
I mean, that shit will just
knock a horse on its ass.
623
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,422
[door opens, closes]
624
00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:14,730
- You just need to relax.
625
00:25:14,774 --> 00:25:17,037
- Okay...
[goofy whinny]
626
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,429
Those come off?
627
00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:22,172
- They're not the only things
that can come off.
628
00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:25,654
- ♪ Uh, touch me
629
00:25:25,698 --> 00:25:28,222
♪ I wanna feel your body
630
00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:31,225
♪ Ooh
631
00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:34,228
[Samantha Fox's "Touch Me"
playing over boom box]
632
00:25:34,271 --> 00:25:36,491
- [grunts]
633
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,711
- ♪ This is the night
- ♪ Touch me
634
00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:42,192
♪ Touch me, I want
to feel your body ♪
635
00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:46,675
♪ Your heartbeat
next to mine ♪
636
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:49,199
- ♪ This is the night
- ♪ 'Cause I want your body
637
00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:51,071
[exclaiming softly]
638
00:25:51,114 --> 00:25:54,204
- ♪ All the time
639
00:25:54,248 --> 00:25:57,730
- Well, that's something
I've never seen before.
640
00:25:57,773 --> 00:26:01,211
Do you think it'll taste
like bananas now?
641
00:26:01,255 --> 00:26:02,604
- I don't know.
642
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:04,606
- Haven't you ever tasted
your own horn before?
643
00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:07,087
- Well, I'm not really
built that way.
644
00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:08,392
Plus, if I could,
645
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,220
I don't think
I'd ever leave the house.
646
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:12,222
I love bananas.
647
00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:14,398
- All right, enough talk.
648
00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:15,748
Here it comes.
649
00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:17,793
Here comes the fun.
650
00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:20,230
- ♪ Touch me
651
00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:23,407
- Are you ready?
- [gulps]
652
00:26:26,715 --> 00:26:28,674
- So then he grabbed the gun
and shot Santa Claus
653
00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:30,110
right between the eyes.
654
00:26:30,153 --> 00:26:31,851
[liquid pouring]
655
00:26:31,894 --> 00:26:34,331
And that's how I met my dad.
656
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:36,856
- Much better story
than how I met my dad.
657
00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,292
- How?
- [grunts]
658
00:26:38,335 --> 00:26:39,815
At his funeral.
659
00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:42,557
I, uh--ah, there you are.
660
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,211
[spits]
661
00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:47,649
Ah, bless you, child.
662
00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:49,085
- Is this my dad?
- Mm-hmm.
663
00:26:49,129 --> 00:26:50,739
Yeah, eighth grade.
664
00:26:50,783 --> 00:26:52,785
That picture speaks
a thousand words,
665
00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,656
most of them not
for publication.
666
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,789
Nicky was the soft one--
runt of the litter.
667
00:26:56,832 --> 00:27:00,053
Everyone thought
he was special,
668
00:27:00,096 --> 00:27:01,924
so much so we thought about
taking him out to the woods
669
00:27:01,968 --> 00:27:05,319
and just setting him free.
670
00:27:05,362 --> 00:27:07,321
I'm joking.
671
00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:10,019
Honey, freshen.
672
00:27:10,063 --> 00:27:14,067
So, you are a Sax, hmm?
673
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:17,287
[spits]
From Saxi, in the Nordic.
674
00:27:17,331 --> 00:27:19,072
That's Scandinavian.
675
00:27:19,115 --> 00:27:21,901
In fact, that's where we get
the Sax family crest--
676
00:27:21,944 --> 00:27:25,121
two gnomes crossing
their itty bitty daggers
677
00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:28,081
beneath a flag that reads...
678
00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:30,083
"Size don't matter."
679
00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:32,302
[funky music]
680
00:27:32,346 --> 00:27:34,043
You know, us Sax's, sometimes,
681
00:27:34,087 --> 00:27:36,219
we get the short end
of the stick.
682
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:38,308
But we fight back, always.
683
00:27:38,352 --> 00:27:40,093
And so what about you, child?
684
00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:41,877
Any fight in you?
685
00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:45,098
- When I have to, but it's hard
when you're little.
686
00:27:45,141 --> 00:27:47,970
- That's when you fight dirty.
687
00:27:48,014 --> 00:27:50,756
That's the first thing
I taught your father.
688
00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:52,975
The bigger they are,
689
00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:55,238
the more it hurts
below the belt.
690
00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:57,414
♪
691
00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:01,418
Tricky Dick Nixon,
that is a good cocktail, child.
692
00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:03,682
Don't touch.
693
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:05,988
[sighs]
694
00:28:06,032 --> 00:28:08,687
- Good afternoon.
I'm Julie.
695
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,950
May I call you Amanda?
696
00:28:10,993 --> 00:28:13,953
Your blood pressure's great.
Your weight's great.
697
00:28:13,996 --> 00:28:16,390
Your temp is 98.6
on the dot.
698
00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:18,087
Any pain?
- Nope.
699
00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:19,393
- Spotting?
- Nope.
700
00:28:19,436 --> 00:28:22,178
- How about change in mood?
Any depression?
701
00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:24,137
- I don't want
to talk about it, Julie.
702
00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:27,009
- Aww, well, a little bit
of moodiness is to be expected
703
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:30,796
with the change in hormones.
704
00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,799
- You're saying--
- The test came back positive.
705
00:28:33,842 --> 00:28:35,365
- That's not possible.
706
00:28:35,409 --> 00:28:37,933
- Oh, some of life's greatest
blessings aren't planned.
707
00:28:37,977 --> 00:28:38,978
- What are my options?
708
00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,370
- You can see the child to term
709
00:28:40,414 --> 00:28:42,329
and then choose to either
keep him or her,
710
00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:45,680
or you can give them up
for adoption.
711
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:48,117
- And my third option?
712
00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:51,294
- Oh, you mean murder?
713
00:28:51,338 --> 00:28:53,340
[laughs]
714
00:28:53,383 --> 00:28:55,168
[peaceful music]
715
00:28:55,211 --> 00:28:56,604
- I'm sorry?
716
00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:59,041
- You are going to have
a beautiful child of God,
717
00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:01,870
and hopefully he or she
looks just like you.
718
00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:05,352
So beautiful.
- I'm not having it.
719
00:29:05,395 --> 00:29:08,834
- I think it's wise that
you understand the facts.
720
00:29:08,877 --> 00:29:11,184
Cervical cancer
spikes post-abortion.
721
00:29:11,227 --> 00:29:14,361
You have an 87% chance
of becoming sterile,
722
00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:17,364
and often, we are unable
to remove all the baby's limbs
723
00:29:17,407 --> 00:29:18,800
and digits from the womb.
724
00:29:18,844 --> 00:29:19,932
- What?
725
00:29:19,975 --> 00:29:22,804
- They kind of just
float around...
726
00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:24,240
causing all sorts
of medical issues,
727
00:29:24,284 --> 00:29:25,938
as you can imagine.
728
00:29:25,981 --> 00:29:28,070
- What the hell kind of
women's health clinic is this?
729
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:30,029
- The kind that
can save your soul.
730
00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:31,160
- Okay.
731
00:29:31,204 --> 00:29:33,032
- You have
an 11-year-old daughter?
732
00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:34,860
How would she feel about
733
00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:36,862
you killing her
little brother or sister?
734
00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:39,516
- Fuck you, Julie.
735
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,519
[sinister music]
736
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:46,436
♪
737
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,917
[no audible dialogue]
738
00:29:48,961 --> 00:29:56,011
♪
739
00:29:57,447 --> 00:30:00,886
[intermittent static]
740
00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:08,545
♪
741
00:30:10,896 --> 00:30:13,812
[revelatory music]
742
00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:16,249
- [snoring softly]
743
00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:18,817
[phone vibrating]
744
00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:21,820
[devious music]
745
00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:28,827
♪
746
00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:31,830
[continues snoring softly]
747
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:38,880
♪
748
00:30:39,576 --> 00:30:40,882
[door opens]
749
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,797
[man screaming]
750
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,452
- Holy shit.
751
00:30:45,495 --> 00:30:48,107
[door slams]
752
00:30:50,936 --> 00:30:53,939
- [splutters]
You need to work on your aim!
753
00:30:53,982 --> 00:30:55,549
- What?
- Smoothie!
754
00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:57,203
He's alive--one eye down,
755
00:30:57,246 --> 00:31:01,076
but still with the same
sparkling personality.
756
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,949
What is--
what is that?
757
00:31:03,992 --> 00:31:05,080
- Sax--
- You knew.
758
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:07,953
You knew?
- I saw him at Shine Tower.
759
00:31:07,996 --> 00:31:10,172
You know, when we were--I don't
think he realized it was me.
760
00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:11,347
I was gonna tell you--
761
00:31:11,391 --> 00:31:12,958
- I'm gonna tear
your head off right now.
762
00:31:13,001 --> 00:31:14,176
- Yeah, tough guy?
What's stopping you?
763
00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,222
- "You were right"
is what's stopping me.
764
00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:17,876
We should have gone after
this son of a bitch
765
00:31:17,919 --> 00:31:18,964
a long time ago.
766
00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:20,139
- The Kap tape--
you have to see this.
767
00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:22,141
- Oh, this?
768
00:31:22,184 --> 00:31:23,620
- Hell, Sax!
769
00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:26,188
We could flip him.
We can get him to testify.
770
00:31:26,232 --> 00:31:28,147
You get your revenge.
I get my badge back.
771
00:31:28,190 --> 00:31:31,106
- Oh, shove your badge
up your vadge.
772
00:31:31,150 --> 00:31:33,630
They're all in this together.
773
00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:35,632
I should have seen it.
774
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:38,505
I take out Shine, and from him,
I get to Smoothie.
775
00:31:38,548 --> 00:31:41,334
If Le Dic can get me anywhere
near that sequined clown,
776
00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,466
then we take him out.
777
00:31:43,510 --> 00:31:46,165
We finish this--my way.
778
00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:47,340
- I know what you're
feeling right now--
779
00:31:47,383 --> 00:31:48,558
- Do you?
- But you have to take
780
00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:50,343
a step back
and take a breath.
781
00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:51,518
You could be
walking into a trap.
782
00:31:51,561 --> 00:31:53,433
- Mer, you invited me
into this pool.
783
00:31:53,476 --> 00:31:56,349
Well, here the fuck I am,
weenie bikini and all.
784
00:31:56,392 --> 00:31:58,960
Where are you?
- Not in that pool.
785
00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,657
The one thing I've learned
786
00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:03,008
is you can't
underestimate Shine.
787
00:32:03,051 --> 00:32:06,489
[tense music]
788
00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:09,188
- I've been out there, Mer.
789
00:32:09,231 --> 00:32:11,538
Driving a cab, taking
my little kid to school--
790
00:32:11,581 --> 00:32:14,236
just living a normal life
791
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,109
like any other average chump.
792
00:32:17,152 --> 00:32:18,893
I've been a sitting duck.
793
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,157
He could have after me
anytime he wanted...
794
00:32:22,201 --> 00:32:24,986
[sighs]
But he didn't.
795
00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:27,249
Now, maybe he thought
that I wasn't a threat.
796
00:32:27,293 --> 00:32:29,164
Maybe he thought that there's
no way I could touch him,
797
00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:32,994
so maybe, just maybe, Mer...
798
00:32:33,038 --> 00:32:35,388
♪
799
00:32:35,431 --> 00:32:39,087
Maybe he underestimated me.
800
00:32:39,131 --> 00:32:42,047
[muffled bang]
801
00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:44,092
[muffled bang]
802
00:32:44,136 --> 00:32:46,268
[mellow music]
803
00:32:46,312 --> 00:32:48,314
- They make you look
so grown up.
804
00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:50,229
Do they still hurt?
805
00:32:50,272 --> 00:32:52,100
- Not as bad as I thought.
806
00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:55,234
- Well, a little pain
never hurt anyone.
807
00:32:55,277 --> 00:32:58,106
I like them.
- My mom's gonna kill me.
808
00:32:58,150 --> 00:33:01,153
♪
809
00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:04,460
- Parents always tell you that
you're too young for things,
810
00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:07,507
but no matter
how desperately they try,
811
00:33:07,550 --> 00:33:11,424
they can't stop you
from growing up.
812
00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:14,035
Where were you when I texted?
813
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:16,342
- I thought
you knew everything.
814
00:33:16,385 --> 00:33:19,084
♪
815
00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:21,173
- Dropped off again
816
00:33:21,216 --> 00:33:24,437
from relative to relative.
817
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,613
Sometimes it feels like
no one wants you.
818
00:33:26,656 --> 00:33:28,180
I know how that is.
819
00:33:28,223 --> 00:33:30,008
- You don't know
anything about me.
820
00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:33,185
- We have more in common
than you might think.
821
00:33:33,228 --> 00:33:36,623
♪
822
00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:38,233
[chuckles]
It wasn't long ago
823
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:40,105
that you were one
of those children.
824
00:33:40,148 --> 00:33:42,585
What was it?
"Not one wish..."
825
00:33:42,629 --> 00:33:44,457
- Not just two wishes!
826
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:48,461
- "But three wishes."
827
00:33:48,504 --> 00:33:50,767
- They never came true,
did they?
828
00:33:50,811 --> 00:33:54,249
- Mine did.
I wanted to meet my dad.
829
00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:57,339
- That's so sweet.
[chuckles]
830
00:33:57,383 --> 00:33:59,472
But was he everything
you wished for?
831
00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:04,042
♪
832
00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:06,783
- I can never be
like that anymore, can I?
833
00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:09,656
- No, you can never
be naive again.
834
00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:12,137
No longer a child, a victim,
835
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,617
like a little lamb,
eyes to the clouds,
836
00:34:14,661 --> 00:34:16,445
led singing
to the slaughterhouse.
837
00:34:16,489 --> 00:34:18,360
You have seen so much.
838
00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:20,188
- You could be little forever.
839
00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:23,278
- Your perception
has sharpened.
840
00:34:23,322 --> 00:34:26,151
You can see things
they can't see.
841
00:34:26,194 --> 00:34:29,632
The truth behind
the artifice.
842
00:34:29,676 --> 00:34:34,072
Now all you have to do is...
843
00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:35,682
look.
844
00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:38,685
[sinister music]
845
00:34:38,728 --> 00:34:45,126
♪
846
00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:46,432
[radical rock music]
847
00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:51,437
- [drawn-out]
Why are you buzzing?
848
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,528
- [drawn-out]
I don't know!
849
00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,704
♪
850
00:34:57,747 --> 00:35:00,837
[horn vibrating]
851
00:35:00,881 --> 00:35:03,275
- [hollers]
852
00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:05,581
♪
853
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,801
Phew.
854
00:35:07,844 --> 00:35:09,542
- [panting]
855
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:12,762
- Well, it doesn't get
much weirder than that.
856
00:35:12,806 --> 00:35:15,200
[goo squelching]
857
00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:23,208
- ♪ I'm always
chasing rainbows ♪
858
00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:28,038
♪ Watching the clouds
passing by ♪
859
00:35:28,082 --> 00:35:31,172
♪ My schemes are just like
860
00:35:31,216 --> 00:35:34,132
♪ All my dreams
861
00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:37,091
♪ Ending in the sky
862
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,876
♪ Some fellows
863
00:35:41,922 --> 00:35:44,272
You know,
it's happening tonight.
864
00:35:44,316 --> 00:35:46,622
[tense music]
865
00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,538
My smart, splendid lads,
866
00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:51,279
I think there's
a very good chance
867
00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:54,326
that you'll both be alive
to see the sunny,
868
00:35:54,369 --> 00:35:56,893
sunny light of day.
869
00:35:56,937 --> 00:36:00,158
- What the hell?
870
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:02,160
- [grunts]
871
00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:04,945
[muffled shouting]
872
00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,208
- [groans]
873
00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:09,776
- [hollering]
874
00:36:09,819 --> 00:36:12,561
[stammering, hollering]
- Let me out!
875
00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:14,824
[dramatic music]
876
00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:17,218
- [grunts, hollers]
877
00:36:17,262 --> 00:36:20,090
[grunting]
Pink!
878
00:36:20,134 --> 00:36:22,876
[alarm wailing]
879
00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:25,008
♪
880
00:36:25,052 --> 00:36:27,837
- [grunts]
- [hollers]
881
00:36:27,881 --> 00:36:34,844
♪
882
00:36:34,888 --> 00:36:38,326
[hollers]
883
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:41,068
- I'm sorry.
884
00:36:41,111 --> 00:36:44,985
- Pink, I'm scared.
885
00:36:45,028 --> 00:36:48,162
- I love you.
886
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,209
[both hollering]
887
00:36:55,735 --> 00:36:56,997
[mellow music]
888
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,304
- Wow, what was that?
889
00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:00,783
- I dunno,
890
00:37:00,827 --> 00:37:03,264
but I'd order it again
on a Sunday.
891
00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:09,879
♪
892
00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:11,185
What?
893
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,927
Nothing, it's just--
894
00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:15,276
you're so pretty.
895
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,627
- [giggles]
896
00:37:18,671 --> 00:37:20,934
- Oh, no, no thanks.
I don't smoke.
897
00:37:20,977 --> 00:37:23,241
But I do spoon.
898
00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:25,199
♪
899
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,896
- This is nice.
900
00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:28,811
Most guys just want to fork.
901
00:37:28,855 --> 00:37:31,292
- You know,
you can stay for a while--
902
00:37:31,336 --> 00:37:32,424
like--like all night.
903
00:37:32,467 --> 00:37:33,990
I--I mean, if you want.
904
00:37:34,034 --> 00:37:35,905
- You want me
to stay all night?
905
00:37:35,949 --> 00:37:37,255
- Sure!
906
00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:39,692
Oh, we--we could have
chocolate chip pancakes
907
00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:42,172
in the morning,
like at a sleepover.
908
00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:45,263
- Well, I do love pancakes.
909
00:37:45,306 --> 00:37:48,875
But won't your friend
be wondering where you are?
910
00:37:48,918 --> 00:37:50,920
- Oh, who cares about him?
911
00:37:50,964 --> 00:37:54,359
He's probably somewhere
dumb and boring.
912
00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:57,840
[yawning]
Doing dumb...
913
00:37:57,884 --> 00:37:59,320
boring stuff.
914
00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:02,323
[heavy electropop music]
915
00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:05,326
[muffled moaning]
916
00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:12,377
♪
917
00:38:42,798 --> 00:38:49,849
♪
918
00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:02,470
- Amanda?
919
00:39:02,514 --> 00:39:04,907
- Nick.
920
00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:12,001
♪
62094
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