Original subtitles

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a happy ending culture.

A "what should be" culture instead of

a "what is" culture.

We're all taught that fantasy.

But if we were taught "this is what is,"

I think we'd be less screwed up.

- No, no, get me out of the close-up.

Why are we in the close-up here?

- You said the medium made you want to puke.

- Well, I must say, now I'm actually puking, Alan,

so clearly it's gone from bad to worse

and I'm still in the close-up.

- We'll fix it. - Maybe we just cut it.

- But it's one of his best speeches.

Because she didn't stay!

- Should have just played the part myself.

- Fuck it, man! She didn't stay!

People don't stay.

No, people don't stay.

- Uh, your phone's off the hook.

- That's on purpose.

Oh, yes, just come in.

Turn him off, please.

I scheduled a quick meeting. - All right.

I'll get some fresh air. - No, no, no, get me the wide.

What's the next thing on the list?

- Uh, looking for it.

- We've been calling and calling

and nobody knew which floor you were on,

so we've been knocking on every door

like a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses.

- Put the phone back, please! - No, leave the phone.

Leave the phone off.

Those schmucks from the studio are gonna call.

- Okay, so let's talk artwork.

Everything they brought us was magnificent.

You know the team over there.

We've narrowed it down

to these...three, four, five.

- Uh, the credits are all comped in for now,

so ignore those. - Hello?

- I know which one I like,

and it's the same as John and Freddy.

- All right, I think this will work.

- Bob, it's David Picker. - What'd I tell you?

This--this fucking studio.

This is why the phone has to stay off the hook.

- What do you think about the fans?

- I've almost got this up, Bob. - He says it's urgent.

- Want me to play it once it's up?

- We have to get a final design to the printer

a week from yesterday. - What do you want me

to say, Bob?

- Bob.

- Guy walks into a doctor's office.

Have you heard this one?

Guy walks in and says,

"Doc, I think I'm under too much pressure.

"The wife, the kids, work.

It's too much."

Doctor says, "What makes you think that?"

Guy says, "Well, I sat on the toilet the other day

and a 10-karat diamond shot out of my ass."

I've been under some pressure myself, recently.

Truth be told, in fact, I'm under so much pressure

I'm worried I might start losing my hair.

I just finished directing a picture called "Lenny."

The film's the story of Lenny Bruce, comedian.

Never got the recognition he deserved--

drug addict, adulterer.

Shit father, shit husband.

Boy, oh, boy.

If I could only relate to this guy.

What do you call an eight-week movie shoot

turns into a six-month movie shoot?

A Bob Fosse picture.

See, there's that pressure.

My girlfriend complains,

"You don't spend time with me anymore."

I say, "We spend all sorts of time together."

"It's not the same as it used to be," she says.

"You're always distracted."

What does everyone expect? I got a lot on my plate.

Brand-new musical to make out of thin air.

You think producers are a pain in the ass, try composers.

You criticize one note,

they act like you're the asshole who poisoned Mozart.

Try writers.

You don't say everything they do is fabulous

they melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Criticize one word, they look at you

the way Ethel Rosenberg looked at her executioner.

Hurt.

But if you want to make a show, the actors need words to say.

The singers need notes to sing.

And you're stuck needing writers.

It's a racket.

Oh, and have I mentioned

who the star of said musical happens to be?

A star whose contract gives her approval

over every aspect of the production

from the lyrics to the set

to the casting to the...

You guessed it, the God damn poster design.

And it builds.

The pressure, it builds and it builds...

this pressure, builds and builds.

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a "happy ending" culture.

- Where does it all go?

A "what should be" culture

instead of a "what is" culture.

- But if we were taught "this is what is"...

This is what is.

- Oh!

- Oh!

Stop!

I'll call him back in 20.

Start me in the scene before. I wanna see the whole sequence.

That one's not bad. - Bob, he says that he's--

- I don't care what he says. - We all love this one.

We think it's fun. We think it's sexy.

- Good, it's your show.

- All right, you heard the man. Wrap it up.

- Last section.

Stop. - That one?

- Head trim right there.

He said he'd be done

editing in August.

- This movie's been a nightmare from the word go.

- Rehearsal starts in three days.

- Has he had time to even think about the show?

- Well, he's been working on it all summer.

- What, once a week?

- Listen, once he gets into that rehearsal room,

"Chicago" is all that he's going to be thinking about.

Speaking of rehearsal rooms-- now, here's an idea:

wouldn't it be clever if we had some press in

for the first week?

"Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon Reunited."

Now that's a story.

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a "happy ending" culture.

A "what should be" culture

instead of a "what is" culture.

We're all taught that fantasy.

But if we were taught "this is what is--"

"This is what is."

"This is what is..."

I think we'd be less screwed up.

♪ That jazz ♪

- This is what is.

- Oh, Nicole, that smell.

Oh, it's just like I've walked

into a bistro in Florence.

- I think it needs more salt.

- Okay, well, let me try. Let me try.

Mm.

Uh, just the teensy, eensiest little bit.

Uh, when did you put in the pasta?

- I don't remember.

- Oh, well, that's not good.

- Figured white for fish, huh? - Darling, be careful!

We're going to test the pasta. - Ooh!

You could just taste it, you know.

That's what most people do.

- And what would be the fun in that?

- It's ready. - It's ready!

Okay, so, uh, why don't you go set the table?

We're going to eat in the dining room tonight.

China's laid out, silverware's laid out.

It's a special occasion. First rehearsal tomorrow.

- Yeah. You nervous?

- No, why would I be nervous?

I'm in the best shape of my life.

- I know you are.

- I--I mean, I'm not 22 years old anymore,

but as long as Bob understands that...

I'm sure he will.

Yes, Bob's famous for his empathy.

- Yeah.

Well, if he doesn't, screw him.

You know, don't, uh, screw him, actually.

I think he'd like that too much.

Stop.

- It doesn't matter what he thinks.

He gives you any trouble...

you just pull out your contract.

You just hang it up on the wall.

You say, "Anybody's got any questions

"about who's in charge of this rehearsal room,

it's all right there..." - Stop.

- "In black and white." - Stop.

- You are gonna be so fantastic in this show.

People are gonna line up for miles

just to buy tickets to see you back on Broadway,

singing and dancing.

Yeah.

You're gonna be amazing.

- I beat you.

- You win.

I got stuck in the editing room.

- Poor thing.

Tell me you weren't there all night.

- Don't worry, I...

napped in the cab over.

- Oh, Bob.

- What "oh, Bob"?

Movie's not finished.

It comes out in the theaters in two weeks.

What do you want me to do?

- Well, I'm sure that you're the only one

who isn't happy with it.

- I'm the only one who cares whether or not

it's a piece of shit.

- Oh, stop. That is not true.

I have no idea why that keeps happening.

- You know, I think some time away from it

might be the best thing for you.

You can clear your head and just think about something.

- Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.

Let's do a musical.

I knew this wasn't gonna work.

- It's just the first day.

- We've got plenty of time.

- I'll be, uh...

Good as new in--in a minute.

- A-five, six, seven, eight.

- ♪ Start the car I know a whoopee spot ♪

♪ Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot ♪

♪ Just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♪

♪ And all ♪

♪ That ♪

♪ Jazz ♪

- That's when everyone comes in.

- Two, two, three four...

- Bob and I have been thinking about this day--

no, dreaming about this day

for the last ten years.

Bet some of you were still in grade school then.

Some of these kids,

I think their parents were in grade school.

- One, two, three. Box arms...

- ♪ And all that jazz ♪

- Seven, eight, and walk, two,

a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six.

Ha!

- Ha! - And five, six, seven, eight.

Swipe, two, a-three, a-four, a-five.

- Circle, two, three, four.

Resistance on this hips, and...

- So for those of you who haven't worked with Bob before,

I recommend stocking up

on heating pads and aspirin.

- What she means is,

you're about to get your ass kicked.

- But trust me, you will never be better.

- ♪ Hold on, hun, we're gonna bunny hug ♪

♪ I bought some aspirin down at United Drug ♪

♪ In case we shake apart ♪

- Uh, right there.

Would you--would you two join in here?

♪ That ♪

♪ Jazz ♪

- ♪ And all that jazz ♪

- One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight. - Keep going.

- A-one, two, three, four,

a-five, six, seven, eight. - ♪ All that jazz ♪

- And one, two, three, four... - ♪ Come on, baby, gonna...♪

You should see the other guy.

Now...

- Is everything okay?

- This fucking cough.

Need you to make an appointment

with Dr. Leder.

During the lunch break.

- You want me to call rehearsal?

No, of course not.

I'm okay.

- All right, I'll set it up right away.

- You know who pressure's good for?

Kids.

Teach it early. Beat it into 'em.

Pressure to succeed, make money, be the best.

They gotta learn they don't get that shit easy.

Lenny and I were lucky.

It's one thing to have talent.

Plenty of people have talent.

But you need the pressure.

Beautiful pressure.

- I'm afraid Mr. Fosse has fallen behind

on Bobby's dance tuition.

- There was a mix-up last week.

- Several months behind, Mrs. Fosse.

I would hate to lose Bobby as a student.

He could be dancing professionally right now.

- Really?

- I could book him all over the city--

theaters, clubs.

I'd pair him with Charlie Grass.

Double acts are all the rage now.

He could be making enough money dancing

to pay his own tuition.

And then some.

I would just take a 15% commission.

- What? What'd they say?

- I'm gonna be a professional dancer.

- I always thought I'd be dead by 25.

Instead I just lost my hair.

One of the best things you can do for your career--

dying young.

All that potential.

Even if everything you would have done after that is shit,

they'll never know because you're too dead to show 'em.

20-year-old kid offs himself, girls cry at his gravestone.

47-year-old guy kills himself,

even the crows don't show up.

Although, if I died before "Lenny" came out,

you know, that-- think of the box office.

Shit, I'd probably win another Oscar.

Do we have blood work?

It's in the lab now.

I really--I tell you, I really am feeling a whole lot better.

- When you saw Dr. Leder, you told him

you were experiencing chest pains.

- I...told him I had some tightness in my chest.

I--I think he overreacted.

I don't need to be here.

- So you're not feeling any tightness now?

- Quite the opposite. I'm ready to get back to work.

I got a rehearsal going on.

- Nobody could tell me where you were.

What happened? - I was just about to leave.

Um, Leder went nuts.

He told me to go to the emergency room.

I told him we have a rehearsal to get to.

- I--I'm sorry, who are you, ma'am?

- I'm his wife. - Yeah, she can tell you

I get this pain sometimes.

It's never been a problem.

- We're concerned that there may be

a high risk of a cardiac event.

Oh, my God.

- "Event." I been here for an hour.

There's no event going on. - Are you a smoker, Mr. Fosse?

- Uh, occasionally.

- How many cigarettes per day?

Half a pack, maybe.

- Drug use?

- Uh, Dilantin for epilepsy.

Uh, Alka-Seltzer, Wrigley's Spearmint gum.

Does coffee count?

Bob, the man's trying to help you.

- I know that. He--he's very nice.

Thank you, Doc.

- He is taking, uh, Seconal...

Dexedrine, cocaine--

- Come on. - What else?

- What are you, the FBI? - No, I--

- Sir? - This is about your health.

- Mr. Fosse-- - This is about your heart.

- Mr. Fosse. - I'm trying to get outta here.

- Sir!

- Actually... - Mr. Fosse.

- I just want them to know in case something--

- You want me to shut down your show?

- You're having a heart attack, Mr. Fosse.

He's what?

- Oh, my God, help!

- I need Dr. Kelly, Dr. Peters paged immediately

and I need a full emergency team right now!

- Lie down, lie down. - Don't overreact.

I'm having rehearsal. - Oh, God, help! Please!

- Oh, this is just great. - It's okay, it's okay.

- This is...

Pressure builds.

Doesn't get better. It gets worse.

And it can kill you.

It can...kill ya.

Ba-dum-bum.

- How is he?

- Where have you been?

- Well, I--I couldn't find a cab,

and then I waited for 20 minutes,

then I got on the train and I took the wrong train--

- Okay, well--well, he's sleeping now, finally,

so you can't see him.

- Okay, well, what are the doctors saying?

Does he need surgery?

- They have to run some tests

and they won't know anything for a few days.

- I knew he shouldn't have done this show.

His doctors said that he needed a break,

and even he knew he shouldn't be doing the show.

It's just too much.

- You should go home and come back tomorrow.

- No, no, I--I want to--

- Annie, sweetheart, there's nothing left

for you to do here tonight.

- Well...

I wanna be here when he wakes up.

- I'm going to stay.

Why don't you go by the apartment in the morning?

Nicole's there with the sitter and you can walk her to school.

I want her to feel like everything's normal.

- Dr. Willis, call Administration at 338.

Dr. Willis, call Administration at 338.

- Oh, Jesus!

Jesus Christ!

- We both started young, me and Lenny.

We both came up in joints like this.

Kind of joints where you get herpes

from drinking the tap water.

Shit, you'd get herpes from looking at the tap water.

Mr. Weaver-- my dance teacher, my manager--

he told me and Charlie Grass

we'd be playing the hottest spots in Chicago.

Boulevard Room, Chez Paree.

You know the sort of joint.

Sophisticated, upscale, classy.

Only the best for me and Charlie.

- Knock 'em dead, kid.

Oh, Jesus!

Jesus Christ-- - Shut up.

- Oh, Christ. - Just shut up.

- Just ignore it, Bob. - Oh, Jesus!

- Been all night like this.

It's horrible. - Oh, Jesus...

- I know, I know.

- This-- - Christ.

- I know. Just try and get some sleep.

- Can you bring me the telephone?

I need to call Alan. - Oh, Christ!

- No, no, no, no.

The doctors don't want you working right now.

- No, no, I have cuts for him.

I have to get in touch with him right away.

- Bob, listen to me. - Oh, for the love of God.

Listen to me. Not right now.

There's nothing for you to worry about.

Everything's fine. It's all taken care of.

- They're gonna finish my movie without me, Gwen.

- Shh. - They're gonna ruin it.

- Why are they doing this to me?

- Just listen to me. Listen to me.

Just ignore it.

Do they know?

- Does who know? - Everybody at the show.

Do they know what happened? - Ohh...ohh...ohh...

- No, we haven't told anyone.

- Then I have a stomach bug. - Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

- They're hurting me! - I'm gonna hurt you.

- Annie's coming to visit you tomorrow.

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't want her here.

No?

Why--why not? What's wrong?

- I don't want her to see me like this.

- What are you talking about?

- Excuse me.

Uh, so sorry to intrude,

but I heard from the nurses that you were here.

My wife and I, we're Broadway fanatics--

- I'm with my husband right now.

- Y-yes, I was hoping to get his autograph.

Only if he's well enough.

N-never mind, I'm sorry.

This was rude. I apologize.

- Not at all.

Would you step outside with me for a minute?

- I shouldn't have bothered you.

I just let my enthusiasm carry me away.

- Not at all.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor...

- Uh, n-no. Jerome, please. - Jerome.

Jerome. I'm Gwen Verdon.

- Oh, my God. - Aww.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, no. - Oh, no, of course you are!

I--I can't believe I didn't recognize you.

- Oh, please, that's fine.

- Wife is not gonna believe that I met Bob Fosse

and Gwen Verdon.

- Well, Bob and I would both love

to sign autographs for you and your wife.

- Oh, my God, she's gonna--oh.

- Have you seen "Pippin"?

- Only twice.

- Well, there's a brand-new leading player

who just came in last month.

Phenomenal. You must go back.

You and your wife could use Bob's house seats.

No, no, no.

We--we couldn't.

- Oh, well, there's something I could use

your help with too, Jerome.

You see, they have Bob sharing that very small room

with a complete stranger.

Now, I've asked the nurses

if there's something they could do,

but they said they can't help,

and I just wonder...

if there aren't more appropriate accommodations

for someone in Bob's condition.

Bob's recovery--it's important we get him better

as soon as possible.

- ♪ I'm sitting on top, top of the world ♪

♪ I'm rollin' along ♪

- ♪ Rollin' along ♪

- You don't think you should at least talk

to John and Freddy about it, first?

- I'm not asking for their opinion.

- What are you gonna tell Fryer?

- I have contractual approval over the director,

and I won't approve anyone but Bob Fosse.

- You're gonna lose your cast, Gwen.

They can't wait around for four months

while he's recovering from heart surgery.

- Thank you, Ron.

This isn't what I need from you right now.

- You know, even if they get a new director

they can't replace you.

I just mean I'm...

I know...

Roxie's a little younger on the page...

but I'm saying any director they bring in,

they're gonna want you to do it.

Obviously.

It's your show.

- It's not my show. It's our show.

It's always been our show.

I know Bob.

He's about to have his chest opened up,

and if we tell him that he's being replaced,

he will die on that operating table.

I am sure of it.

Hi, sweetie.

Annie's coming to pick you up at 7:00

to take you to dinner, so just make sure

that you have your homework done by then, okay?

We'll start back up in the new year

and open in New York in June.

- What about all the kids?

- The ki--Well, I am calling every casting agent in New York

and telling them to keep our actors

at the front of their minds

for any short-term jobs that come up,

any background work.

And if the company needs more money,

then I'll just loan it to them myself.

They can pay me back

when "Chicago" is the biggest hit on Broadway.

- I don't know.

I don't know if they're gonna wait for me.

- Oh, please. Of course they will.

- They're gonna think I'm finished after this.

No one is going to think that.

- Remember when George and Hal wanted

to cut your big act one number in "Yankees"?

- "Musical Chairs."

- Yes.

And you were devastated.

Oh, you thought the world was ending.

All because of one silly little number.

- Well, that was a good number.

I...

well, Eddie couldn't-- he couldn't do it right.

- Eddie. - Yeah.

He was terrible.

- If that's the story you want to tell...

It was a shit number, wasn't it?

- It was terrible. - Yeah.

What a piece of shit.

Then we stayed up all night, and what did we get?

We got "Who's Got the Pain?"

- Hey.

When I wake up after...

if I wake up--

Don't...

say that.

- I want you to be there.

When I wake up.

Yeah?

- Of--of course.

- You're gonna like this one.

What do you call a mother who never bothers to ask

where exactly her son is performing

at 1:00 in the morning on a school night?

A perfect role model.

Mom of the year.

- What is he wearing?

- He was performing, Cy.

I told you.

- I have this.

- That's it?

- I thought there'd be more.

- Thank you. - Is that makeup?

You look like a faggot.

- Well, I'm glad somebody's laughing.

- And close for me.

- This is so stupid.

- Oh, stop.

You know I don't like that word.

- If they don't want kids visiting at the hospital,

there's probably a good reason.

- The reason is, they came up with that rule

for children who are less mature than you are.

Open.

Daddy had a long and scary surgery,

and he needs some cheering up.

And no one cheers him up like you do.

Luckily, he has a lot of young friends and colleagues

who come to visit him, so you'll blend right in.

Open.

There...we...go.

You don't look a day under 18.

- ♪ I don't care about expensive things ♪

♪ Cashmere coats, diamond rings ♪

♪ Don't mean a thing ♪

- Keep your chin up.

- ♪ That's what I'm here for ♪

♪ I don't care for wearing silk cravats ♪

- One of Mr. Fosse's protégés.

- ♪ Satin spats don't mean a thing ♪

♪ All I care about ♪

- That's my girl. - ♪ Is love ♪

- Should I give you guys some privacy?

- Oh, no, no, no. Please, you stay.

Sit.

Got the gang all here.

- You look like a machine.

- I don't even want to say what you look like.

Bob.

Why don't you give Daddy a hug and a kiss?

- It's okay. It's all right.

It's all right.

Oh, here.

Show him that.

It's from everyone at "Chicago."

They all love you,

and they send their healing wishes,

and they want you to get better soon.

Everyone signed the card.

That a girl.

That a girl.

See you soon.

- Doesn't it ever bother you?

- What? - That she's always there.

- Who--what, Annie? No, no.

No, why would it?

- She's his girlfriend.

- Annie and I are different.

What your father and I have...

he doesn't have with anybody else.

Come on, let's go.

Give me that bag.

I've got it.

Okay.

- My father...

Sure, maybe he looked down on me.

But no way he'd let me quit dancing.

Somebody had to put food on the table.

- Where's your pal?

- Charlie? Outside.

His mother drove us here. - He's not as good.

He knows that already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

- You're gonna be famous.

- He's already a rising star.

I think I'm in love.

- What do you call a 13-year-old kid

who gets screwed by a bunch of 40-year-old strippers?

The luckiest boy in the world.

Why's he so lucky, anyway?

He gets to have sex

before he even knows the word for it.

You'll like this one.

I was dead for six hours.

- You were breathing the whole time.

- A--a machine was breathing.

I wasn't breathing.

I think it did something to my...

I think they put it-- put it back in the wrong way.

My heart.

- They didn't.

- I can feel it. I never felt it before.

I can feel it now.

I--I feel it squeezed in there.

- Bobby.

They said not to worry after the first...

12 hours.

It's been four days.

You're okay.

- What if I didn't come back all the way?

- I'm looking at you. - Yeah.

- I'm right here with you.

- I think they did something to me.

I think the screwed me up down there.

I think they fucked me up.

Mm-mm.

They didn't go anywhere...

they didn't go anywhere near there.

- You're okay, I promise you.

I'm being serious.

You're laughing at me. I'm being serious.

What's the best thing about having sex

with a grown woman when you're only 13?

You get to feel pleasure, confusion, humiliation,

all at the same time.

I call that the triangle of shame!

You get to feel pleasure, confusion.

Pleasure, confusion,

and humiliation all at the same time.

I grew up in the church.

We call it the Holy Trinity.

You know the best part of being scared,

turned on, confused,

guilty, self-loathing, and in lust

all at the same time?

It screws up your relationships for the rest of your life.

- Hey.

- I need to know I'm still a man.

- Bobby.

- Tell me I'm good enough.

- That's it?

- I thought there'd be more.

- Where's that smile?

- Don't think for a second I couldn't replace you

a hundred times over.

- Come on.

Come on. Laugh it up, folks.

I do it for you.

That was a good one.

Is this on?

Is this on?

Testing, testing. One, two.

Hey, come on, that's funny!

Okay, you're gonna love this.

What's the difference between sex and applause?

What's the difference between sex and applause?

What's the difference between sex and applause?

What's the difference between sex and applause?

- Sorry.

- You only applaud somebody you love.

Come on, this is my best material, here!

Okay, here we go. Come on, come on.

Little faster, little faster.

- Ta-ta-ta-ta.

Ta-ta-ta-ta.

Bah!

- Thank you, thank you.

- I'll be right back. - Okay.

- We brought an extra sandwich.

Tuna salad. - Aww.

I'm all right. Thank you, though.

- Well, if you don't eat it

it's just gonna go in the garbage.

- I'm really not hungry. Thank you so much.

- You should eat it.

You need to keep up your strength for your, uh...

- H-husband.

Thank you.