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1
00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:03,620
♪♪
2
00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:08,120
Hey, watch out!
Pregnant girl comin' through.
3
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,540
Man, I'm hungry.
4
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,080
(all chattering)
5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,790
Sad I had to specify "girl."
6
00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:15,670
Are you okay?
Are you comfortable?
7
00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:16,920
All right, nobody touch her!
8
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,920
The doctor said
she could explode
at any moment!
9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,380
Give birth, Danny.
The doctor said that I could
"give birth" at any moment.
10
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,290
But I'm fine, all right?
It was just false labor.
11
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:28,210
Apparently it happens
all the time.
12
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:30,080
Well, having been pregnant now
for almost four hours,
13
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,750
I think I'd know
for sure if a person
14
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,080
was really
about to crawl head first
15
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,380
out of my body.
16
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:38,120
Oh, she'll know.
Trust me.
17
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,210
That chick from Alien
will have nothin' on her,
just-- (makes explosion noise)
18
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:42,120
Mom!
19
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,540
Right, right, right.
20
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:45,000
But good news...
the second one
21
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,210
just pops right out.
22
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:51,000
One minute you're dancin'
at a Bon Jovi concert, yeah...
23
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,620
and the next, someone's
all like, "Oh my gosh,
24
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,000
who dropped a baby
on the floor? Ohh..."
25
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:59,080
I can't believe they made me
buy you a ticket.
26
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,710
Now are you sure that
there is absolutely nothing
we can get you?
27
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,170
I am feeling very maternal.
28
00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:08,830
Well, I know it's late,
but I am a little hungry.
29
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:11,210
-Maybe pizza?
-Ooh, perfect.
30
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,120
But you know what would
be even better? Pancakes!
31
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,790
-Ooh!
-Oh, no, I'm-- I'm not really
in the mood for pancakes.
32
00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:18,040
Yes, yes! And there's that place
on Bleecker that's open
all night!
33
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:22,460
-(everyone talking at once)
-I love that place!
34
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,250
They'll be back.
35
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,750
-Oh my, okay...
-(everybody talking at once)
36
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,710
(theme music playing)
37
00:01:31,710 --> 00:01:34,500
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪
38
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,290
♪ Can take your life
and change direction ♪
39
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,960
Are you done?
40
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,080
Yeah, I'm done.
41
00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:54,080
-Are you done?
-Okay!
42
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,120
Oh, my-- Honey, look.
43
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,290
I know the doctor said
44
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,750
I shouldn't do anything
too strenuous,
45
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,540
but do you think I could
not do anything
46
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:00,750
in my own apartment?
47
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:01,960
Well, what if we're all alone
48
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,120
and I have to go to the bathroom
49
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,080
or get some water?
50
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,250
What then, Riley, what then?
51
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,500
Ah, yes, what then?
52
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,920
You know, well, now that
you mention it,
53
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,250
um, I am a little thirsty.
54
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,790
Right. I'm on it.
55
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:13,880
Uh, hey, Ben. I need
to get Riley some water.
56
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,500
You mind watchin' her
while I go to the kitchen?
57
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,670
You got it.
58
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,080
We're back!
59
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,120
So cute.
How was dance class today?
60
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,540
Eh, you know, it was all right.
61
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:26,330
Mainly sat in the back
with the only other cool mom
62
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,580
and made fun of the awkward
and ugly kids, so...
63
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,290
I was actually talking
to my daughter.
64
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:32,420
-Oh.
-Yeah.
65
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,210
So, how was dance class today?
66
00:02:34,210 --> 00:02:36,000
Who's my mommy?
67
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,620
Wow. Okay. Your mommy,
that's new.
68
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,880
Well, we talked
about this, remember?
69
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,210
Her name's Angela
and she lives in Los Angeles.
70
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:46,750
Why?
71
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,420
We just got lucky, I guess.
72
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:49,920
Ben!
73
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,670
I'm sorry, the books all say
to be honest!
74
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:54,120
What's all this about, anyway?
75
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,080
Well, I'm guessing
it has something to do
76
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,170
with the mother/daughter
talent show
77
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,380
Emma's class is having.
78
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,170
Mother/daughter talent show?
79
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:03,120
Okay, this is wrong
on so many levels.
80
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,120
How dare they make Emma feel bad
for only having a father.
81
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,120
That's my job.
82
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,460
Hey, hey, hey,
all this anger
and negativity
83
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,420
is stressing Riley out.
84
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:12,880
Here. I'll hold it
while you take a sip.
85
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,580
Ahh! You wanna know
what's really stressing me out?
86
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,210
How cold it is in here.
87
00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:22,250
Uh, Danny, do you--
do you think you could
go get my blue blanket,
88
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,620
and if you don't see it,
just keep looking.
89
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,040
It's definitely real.
90
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,960
Got it!
91
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,000
Oh, hey, Ben!
92
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,210
You've gotta promise
if anything happens,
93
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,250
you'll be there for Riley.
94
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,040
You got it.
Treat her like the weird kid
95
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,620
who eats paste
and has mittens
pinned to his jacket.
96
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,920
Oh wait, that was you!
97
00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:45,580
Dude, I'm serious.
98
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,920
Brother to brother.
99
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,670
If I'm not there
when the baby comes,
100
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,830
you gotta promise
to be there to take care
of my wife and my son.
101
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,000
Yeah. Danny, of course,
I promise.
102
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:59,080
You hear that, baby?
We're on our own.
103
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,790
Oh, hey, man,
anything happening yet?
104
00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:04,170
No, but I don't
have time right now--
105
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:06,000
Oh, my god,
I'm so happy for you.
106
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,620
Tucker told me
about the false labor
and I totally get how stressful
107
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,080
that can be.
I went through it for weeks,
108
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,750
but at least
it increased the value
of my push gift.
109
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,250
I got this sapphire ring.
110
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,290
I'm sorry, your what gift?
111
00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:17,500
Push gift.
It's what a husband
gets his wife
112
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,670
for pushing a bowling ball
through a straw?
113
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,580
You got her one, right?
114
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,920
No...
115
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,080
Oh. Hello, worst husband ever.
(laughs)
116
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,170
Way to start off
on the wrong foot.
117
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,880
Babe, babe, babe...
remember we talked
118
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,290
about not saying everything
that comes into your mind?
119
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,960
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah. This is one of
those moments.
120
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,080
-Oh.
-It's gonna be fine, man.
121
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,540
No. No, it's not gonna be fine.
122
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,290
The baby's gonna come,
and I'm gonna be standing there
123
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:44,120
with nothing in my hand
besides a used umbilical cord!
124
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,330
That's it.
I'm gonna go down
125
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,540
to the jewelry store
on the corner.
126
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,170
Dude, what is the matter
with you?
127
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:50,830
Man, you don't wanna
pay retail. Dude.
128
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:56,330
Man, look, I'll hook you up,
okay? Trust me, man,
I got a guy.
129
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,960
(giggles) Suddenly
this necklace you got me
doesn't seem so special.
130
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:04,960
Yes, I knew she'd start
asking questions someday,
131
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,080
but that's not
what this is about.
132
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,460
It's about me
not being enough for her.
133
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,080
Seriously, what does she need
a mom for?
134
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,620
-There's nothing I can't handle.
-Well, honey, let's circle back
135
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,830
to that when it's time
to discuss her period,
136
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,210
or her first bra,
or birth control--
137
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:19,830
Mom, none of those things
are ever happening!
138
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,620
Okay, maybe it would be good
for both of us if I had someone.
139
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,290
A partner.
140
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:28,790
A real mom for Emma.
141
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,460
Maybe I should've never
stopped looking for Elle.
142
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:33,080
Yeah, why did you stop?
143
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,250
Uh, maybe 'cause
every single time
I ever mentioned her,
144
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:36,790
you ridiculed
and mocked me?
145
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,460
(scoffs) Well,
if you're gonna
let that stop you,
146
00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:42,120
I'm surprised you can
get out of bed in the morning.
147
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,080
It's hard! It's really hard!
148
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,170
You know what I'm gonna do?
149
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:48,670
I am gonna find Elle.
150
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:51,500
Okay, you do that.
I looked for almost nine months.
151
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,290
But I'm goin' down
to that dance studio.
152
00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,380
There's no way
they're stoppin' me
153
00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:56,170
from dancing
with my daughter.
154
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,790
Unless I have to wear tights.
155
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,080
I want people to see
that I'm a good dad,
156
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,880
but that's
all I want them to see.
157
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,290
So where's your guy?
158
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,080
He'll be here, all right?
159
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,620
But remember...
this is a negotiation.
160
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:16,120
A dance, all right?
There'll be a little back
and forth, but in the end,
161
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,380
you will have a beautiful,
almost-diamond bracelet
for Riley.
162
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,120
Hey. Who's this?
163
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,210
My associate.
Do you have the merchandise?
164
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,500
Yeah.
This is gonna cost you 500.
165
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,960
Oh, that sounds
really reasonable.
166
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,670
But there is no way
that that is happening.
(laughs)
167
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,710
To be honest with you,
man, we only brought 200
with us.
168
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,120
Oh, no! I grabbed that envelope
I keep in my sock drawer
169
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,120
on the way out.
It's got like 2,000 in it.
170
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,420
Plus I might have
a little more in my wallet.
171
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:47,250
So, can I assume that--
okay, yeah.
172
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:48,460
And I'll take
the cell phones, too.
173
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,920
Yeah. W-- We don't
have cell phones.
174
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,420
Oh... no, I got mine.
Here, I'll call yours.
175
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,170
(phone ringing)
176
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,420
And how dare you
make my little girl
feel different?
177
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,000
-Ooh, hey, Benji--
-But even more important,
178
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,170
make me answer
difficult questions
179
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,080
I'm not emotionally equipped
to deal with.
180
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,210
-Ben--
-Not now, Mom,
this baby daddy's on a roll.
181
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,460
This should be
about the children.
182
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,080
Okay?
Some of these kids
have two moms,
183
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,670
some of 'em
have two dads.
184
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,710
And there's that one girl
who's got two of each,
185
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:18,710
which just seems
like overkill.
186
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:23,080
Uh-huh. And if you look
at the bottom of the flyer,
187
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,040
you will see that this
is an all-inclusive event.
188
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,460
And the girls are free
to perform with whomever
they choose.
189
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:32,170
Yeah, that's what I was trying
to tell you.
190
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,000
I did not see that.
191
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,880
But it's good to know
that you'll be incorporating
some of my suggestions.
192
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,290
Hey... your name
isn't Elle, is it?
193
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:44,170
Mom, I think I would know
if she was Elle.
194
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:46,500
-Come on, let's get outta here.
-Ooh wait, can we go out
the back?
195
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,830
The other cool mom and I
are in a fight, and I don't
wanna run into her.
196
00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:53,040
Turns out the awkward kid
I was makin' fun of was hers.
197
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,670
Is he here? Oh, did I miss him?
198
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:57,830
Is who here?
199
00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:58,920
I don't know his name.
I saw him
200
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,250
almost nine months ago,
201
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,290
and I'd about given up hope,
but then I was across the street
202
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,580
and I thought I saw him
through the window, but then
there was this bus,
203
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:06,420
and this horse,
and-- It's a long story.
204
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,460
But if you could just give me
the name and number of the guy
205
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:10,290
who was just in here,
that would be great.
206
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:15,790
No problem. Because clients
love it whenever we give out
their personal information.
207
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:19,250
Right. But at least I know
he's a client.
208
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,170
Of course, with my luck,
he's probably married.
209
00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:23,170
Oh, he is definitely
not married.
210
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,120
Yes! I knew it!
211
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,170
I knew he was single.
Please, you have to help me.
212
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,960
There's honestly
nothing I can do.
213
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,040
Are you having a stroke?
214
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:49,210
No! I just thought
you might be interested
in this.
215
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,420
Oh... yeah, no,
I don't have a kid.
216
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:55,250
But he does!
He's coming to the show!
217
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:59,170
Yes. I'll just come to the show
and then I can finally meet him,
it's gonna be perfect.
218
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:02,960
Yeah, I'd lower
those expectations
a bunch.
219
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,580
Well, I did it!
I had it out
220
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,920
with the dance studio,
and they definitely see it
my way.
221
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,000
-Well, I--
-Just let me
have this one thing!
222
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,540
Hey, Emma, so it's not
gonna be a problem anymore.
223
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:18,290
You get to dance
with Daddy.
224
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,080
I want my mommy.
225
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:23,380
Okay. No problem.
226
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:26,170
That doesn't break Daddy's heart
into a million pieces at all.
227
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:29,920
Welcome to the dark side
of parenting.
228
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,540
Ohh!
Speaking of parents,
I think I'm about to be one.
229
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,920
The baby is coming!
230
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,920
-Oh, god! Okay,
all right. You guys--
-Oh! Go, go.
231
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,250
(Ben chattering)
232
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:41,170
You know what,
I think I'm gonna
sit this one out. Is that cool?
233
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,210
Hey... I'm so sorry.
234
00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:49,790
My smartphone got lost.
235
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,790
Turns out
it's not that smart.
236
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,170
It's fine, just be glad
it was another false alarm.
237
00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:57,330
Oh, by the way,
I guess we need a car seat
238
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,460
to take the baby home
from the hospital.
239
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,000
Yeah, I read that in a pamphlet
240
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,330
when I was just
flashing my vagina
to 12 med students.
241
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:07,170
Oh, we're on it.
But, do you think I could
borrow your credit card?
242
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,210
I think I might've
misplaced my wallet
as well.
243
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:17,040
Hey, did you hear that?
Now I know exactly
what to get Riley
244
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,250
for her push gift.
245
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,290
Dude, I'm tellin' you
right now, a car seat
246
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,830
is a horrible idea.
247
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,250
No, I'm gonna get her
the car to put it in.
248
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,420
Really? Seems like
a pretty big gift
249
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:29,380
for just sittin' around
with her feet up
for nine months.
250
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,250
If I don't get her a car,
what am I supposed
to get her?
251
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:34,420
And this is where
your friend Tucker
steps in, man.
252
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,120
While you were off
endlessly measuring
your wife's cervix,
253
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:41,080
I was coming up
with the greatest
push gift idea ever.
254
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,080
What do women like
even more than jewelry?
255
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,170
Being right?
256
00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:47,670
(elevator dings)
257
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:50,080
No... they like puppies.
258
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,420
I've got a guy.
259
00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:56,170
Really? Oh, my god,
this is the best idea ever.
260
00:10:56,170 --> 00:11:00,120
A new puppy and a baby
all in the same day.
261
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,580
She's gonna feel
like the luckiest girl
in the world.
262
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,210
Don't be upset.
You know it's just a phase
Emma's going through.
263
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,710
Yeah, whatever,
it's so not a big deal.
Die, die, die!
264
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,460
Are you sure you're okay?
The TV isn't even on.
265
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,080
Look... you know
she totally loves you.
266
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,290
Honestly, I'm just glad
my mom is doin' it.
267
00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:28,250
Last place I wanna
be right now is stuck
at some stupid rehearsal
268
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,380
with a bunch
of screaming kids
in tutus.
269
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:31,920
No-no.
270
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:34,920
What is it, Emma?
271
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,080
I wanna dance with you.
272
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,500
Me? You really wanna
dance with me?
273
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,120
Well, heck, yeah,
I'll dance with you.
274
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,420
See? I knew
it was just a phase.
275
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,210
And if we hurry,
we can be there
in time for rehearsal.
276
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:48,040
Oh my gosh,
this is gonna
be so much fun.
277
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:55,170
And it seems
I am being abandoned
by a whole new generation.
278
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:58,080
-And yet, I feel like somehow
you had a hand in this.
-(scoffs)
279
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,380
I don't care what you say,
but there is a good person
in there.
280
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:04,250
A very small person,
but she's in there.
281
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,170
-Beep, boop--
-Okay, stop it.
282
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,250
I have my moments.
283
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,790
And I'm going to continue
my good deed tour
and go find Emily.
284
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,710
-Don't you mean Elle?
-Dammit! God...
285
00:12:15,710 --> 00:12:18,170
That's a whole morning's worth
of work down the crapper.
286
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,540
God!
287
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,710
(babbling in
high-pitched voices)
288
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:28,670
(gasps)
Oh... my god,
289
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:32,290
that is the cutest puppy ever.
290
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,500
Oh, yes she is.
291
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,250
-Aww...
-(Danny and Tucker laugh)
292
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:39,670
-It's Riley's push gift.
-It was my idea, but you know
I'm lettin' him take the credit.
293
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:40,920
(laughs)
294
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,000
(laughing)
295
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, my god,
are you serious?
296
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:52,080
-You want Riley to take care
of a baby and a puppy?
-(elevator dings)
297
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,710
Oh god! (laughs)
298
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,670
Even I don't hate her
that much!
299
00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:58,250
(laughs)
You are a dead man!
300
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,830
God! A puppy!
301
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:04,830
Oh, man, Danny,
I worry about you,
you're slow, man! (laughs)
302
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,830
-So, a car?
-Yeah, a car sounds good.
303
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:15,830
You ready?
304
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:23,290
♪ Sweet pea,
apple of my eye ♪
305
00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:27,620
♪ Don't know when
and I don't know why ♪
306
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:33,040
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪
307
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:42,420
♪ Sweet pea,
what's all of this about? ♪
308
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:46,830
♪ Don't get your way,
all you do is fuss and pout ♪
309
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:51,920
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪
310
00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:02,040
♪♪
311
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,540
♪ Sweet pea,
keeper of my soul ♪
312
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:14,620
♪ I know sometimes
I'm out of control ♪
313
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:20,170
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪
314
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,920
I love you, Emma.
315
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,790
Bam! You are never gonna believe
what I did!
316
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,500
Well, you know what?
I don't really care
what you did,
317
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,830
because I have been here alone
for almost three hours.
318
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,290
Oh, no, no, no,
I did get a break
319
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,670
when I had to help Ben
find a costume,
320
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,540
do Emma's hair,
and make them lunch.
321
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:43,620
But I literally have no idea
where my husband is,
322
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,250
this thing is just tap dancing
on my bladder,
323
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,000
and g-- I can't get the lid
off this mayonnaise jar!
324
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,170
Who is that?
325
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,290
Well, it's
a little anti-climactic now,
326
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:56,000
but this... is Elle!
327
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,120
Hi!
328
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,750
-This is Ben's Elle?
-Yeah.
329
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,170
-How did you do that?
-Well, I just retraced his steps
330
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,920
back to the dry cleaner
where he first met her.
331
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,540
So... do you remember Ben?
332
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:10,080
Well, um, no, not really,
but... he sounds amazing!
333
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:14,210
-So you--
-Yeah, a little bit.
(clears throat)
334
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,330
-So is he here?
-No, he's getting ready
for the talent show.
335
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,790
Okay, let's go.
Oh my gosh, Ben is gonna
be so surprised!
336
00:15:18,790 --> 00:15:21,000
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
you guys are not going
anywhere without me.
337
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,040
Um, just get the chair
from Ben's desk
338
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,170
and start pushin'.
339
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,040
Oh, my god,
we don't have the time.
340
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,420
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go!
341
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,290
Shut the door! God!
342
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,420
Hi, hi, I'm here.
343
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:37,710
I didn't miss it, did I?
344
00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:39,920
No. Wait... aren't you
supposed to be
345
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,210
in a giant bubble somewhere?
346
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,330
I put two pillows
under a blanket
347
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,330
so it looks like
I'm still there.
348
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:46,960
That's the one useful thing
you taught me.
349
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,710
Bonnie?
350
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:54,170
Oh. Hey, Liz.
351
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,920
What are you doin' here?
352
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,080
Honestly? Hoping to meet
the man of my dreams.
353
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,120
(laughs)
At a mother/daughter
talent show?
354
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,420
God, you're bad at this.
355
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:07,420
Ohhh! It's coming!
356
00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:08,960
The baby is really
coming this time!
357
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,540
Wait, are-- are you sure?
358
00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:12,380
Could you maybe just
cross your legs for a couple
minutes until we're done?
359
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,960
No, I can't just cross my legs,
because someone is trying
360
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,920
to crawl out of there.
Ow, ow, ow, ow,
361
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,170
and it feels like
he's trying to dig
a brand new tunnel.
362
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,540
Use the existing tunnel!
363
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,960
Oh! Okay! I need you
to text my phone.
Danny has mine.
364
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,210
Right! Danny, okay.
365
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,080
What's wrong?
What's going on?
366
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,790
-Oh god, ow!
-This is it, the baby's
really coming!
367
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,580
Okay, can't you just
cross your legs?
368
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,250
I mean, we're all
kind of in the middle
of something.
369
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,710
(grunting, gasping)
370
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,170
All right, you know what,
I will take her to the hospital,
371
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:37,000
you go on with Emma,
and just meet me there, okay?
372
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,620
I can't, I promised Danny--
Oh, right! Danny!
373
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,580
Okay, and... send.
374
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,790
Okay, Emma?
I am so, so happy
that you asked me
375
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:46,620
to do this with you.
376
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,580
But I really need to help
your Auntie Riley deliver
your new cousin.
377
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:51,170
I am so sorry, but Grandma
will dance with you.
378
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,250
Okay?
379
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,710
Okay, okay.
Oh, my god, Ben!
380
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,750
Ben, I almost forgot.
I found Elle!
381
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,710
-Really? Where is she?
-Second row.
382
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,040
-Here?
-Yes!
383
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,710
Oh, my god,
stop that.
384
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,330
That's really her!
Oh, my god, Mom,
I love you!
385
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,120
Ahhhh!
386
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,670
Right. Just
give her my information
and I'll see her later, okay?
387
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,330
-Okay, all right.
-Bye, sweetie.
Let's go. Let's go.
388
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,330
Okay. All right. Listen, kiddo.
389
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,670
It's showtime.
Okay? Lose the ukulele,
390
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,920
and don't get in my way
during my solo.
391
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,290
Five, six, seven, eight...
392
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,210
Dun-nah-dun-dun.
393
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:24,500
Wah-tah!
(grunts) What?
394
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,960
Ooh, g-- Ooh!
395
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,920
I have to say,
these babies are so popular,
396
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,210
we're actually chargin'
a thousand over sticker.
397
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,750
That sounds fair.
398
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,120
(phone buzzing)
399
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:43,330
Oh, my god. This is it!
Riley's havin' her baby!
400
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,170
We gotta go!
401
00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:46,670
-Hey! What are you doin'?
-(engine starts)
402
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:48,620
Hang on!
403
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,000
-(crashing sound)
-Oh!
404
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:55,170
-(clattering sound)
-You know what? Thank you
for the test drive.
405
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:56,790
I think-- I think
we're just gonna keep looking.
406
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:01,330
Ohhh!
407
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,670
Ahhh!
408
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:06,170
Riley, you have to calm down.
It's all gonna be fine!
409
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:09,170
Really? Because it doesn't
feel fine from where
I'm sitting.
410
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,170
Ahh! Where's the doctor?
411
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:14,500
The clinic's
a little understaffed,
but they paged someone,
412
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:18,120
and worst case scenario,
I've actually done this before.
413
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,210
You stay away from me!
414
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,080
I'm Dr. Ryan.
So what's the problem?
415
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,000
Oh, you know
just a little bloating...
I'm having a baby!
416
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,330
Oh, wow, right.
417
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,670
Yes, you are!
And here it comes.
418
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,170
Wait. It's you.
419
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:38,210
It's really you.
420
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:40,120
My god, it's you!
421
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,460
I can't believe it!
422
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:43,250
I was just at a dance studio
looking for you
423
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,380
when I got paged.
424
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,170
I know, I saw you!
I'm Ben.
425
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,170
-I'm Elle.
-I'm dying!
426
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,080
-Right!
-Oh, and this isn't mine.
427
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,920
Good to know.
Okay, I can do this.
428
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,290
Uh, you can do this?
Haven't you done this before?
429
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,620
Well, not on an actual person,
but it'll be fine.
430
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,170
So, you're a doctor?
431
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,710
Yeah. Well, almost.
Fingers crossed.
432
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:05,250
Hey, maybe we can go out
for a drink sometime?
433
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:08,790
-Ahhh!
-Oh, my god, just give us
like two minutes?
434
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:10,960
I'm here!
435
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,710
The father?
Just in time.
I need you.
436
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,250
Riley, here,
hold my hand.
437
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:15,290
G-- Ohh, god!
438
00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:17,790
-Ow!
-Come on! Big push!
439
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,920
(both screaming)
440
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,750
Okay, give me one more.
441
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,620
(both screaming)
442
00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:26,120
(baby crying)
443
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,080
Is that it?
Did I do it?
444
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,960
You did it.
And he's perfect!
445
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:35,000
I can't believe it's really you.
446
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,290
You were amazing.
447
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,210
No, you were amazing.
448
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:41,040
Hey, can we all agree
that I was amazing?
449
00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:46,170
Hey, little buddy.
Are you ready to meet your mom?
450
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,210
I love him.
451
00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:03,250
So do I.
452
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,170
And I love you.
453
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,120
Hey, since you're already
gonna be watching one baby
tonight, can you watch Emma,
454
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,920
so I can go out with Elle?
455
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,210
So, Sweet Pea, you and I
have to talk.
456
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:25,420
I'm startin' to realize
that maybe I can't always
be your everything,
457
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:28,500
but I finally found that girl
we saw nine months ago.
458
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,750
Now, I don't know
what's gonna happen...
459
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:35,080
but if I do it right...
there's a chance that you
might finally
460
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,420
have a full-time mom.
461
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,880
What do you think?
462
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,290
I only need you, daddy.
463
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:48,250
I love you, sweetheart.
464
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:57,040
Well, little girl,
it's good to know
465
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,330
that we have each other.
466
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:00,380
Because no matter
what happens,
467
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,750
it's always just gonna
be the two of us.
468
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,880
No, Brad, not every
construction worker
469
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,210
that is whistling
is looking at you.
470
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:07,880
Hi, sweetie.
471
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,750
(all talking at once)
472
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,250
Oh my gosh...
473
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,120
Well, I take that back.
474
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,040
I don't think it's ever gonna
just be the two of us.
475
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,290
-(everybody talking at once)
-Riley: Oh, I can finally have
a glass of wine!
476
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:22,040
(chatter continues)
34804
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