All language subtitles for American Housewife 3x22 - The Dance (English)

Mr. McNeish, it's time to abandon ship!

Have you made peace with your maker?

Huh?

Franklin, you're Mr. McNeish,

I'm explorer Ernest Shackleton,

and we're crossing Antarctica.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Four?

Tell the crew we'll
eat the sled dogs if we have to!

Don't worry, boy. We'll eat you last.

Franklin, it's time to go.
I'll drive you home.

I have to get my inhaler.

I'll get it for you.

If you go, there's a 50-50 chance

you'll come back down
with an empty toilet paper roll.

Mr. Otto, can I have a word
with you in private?

Am I in trouble?

How can I help you?

Well, the spring dance is this weekend,

and I'd like your permission

to ask your daughter to go with me.

Of course you can take her to the dance.

Between you and me, I think she's had
a thing for you for quite some time.

Big-time. Duh.

- Do you want any advice?
- I could really use some.

I think my teacher may be a vampire.

Vampire.

Oh, Franklin. You are one for the ages.

So, it looks like
Anna-Kat has her first date.

Granted, it's with a kid
who kicked the ball

into his own goal 11 times
in one soccer game.

Do you know what this means?

- Our little girl's growing up.
- Yeah, sure.

But more importantly, all three kids

are going to be out
Saturday night at the dance.

We'll have the house to
ourselves for an entire evening.

Wow. It's a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

It's like being pulled up on
stage at a Springsteen concert!

Or like when I had
that huge pot of leftover chili

and I picked the exact
right-size Tupperware

to store it in.

Our relationship amazes me every day.

Me too.

We can actually get it on

without feeling rushed or exhausted.

And...

...we can finally make use
of this bad boy

we sent away for.

Ooh.

Nights alone.

Man, we had fun before we had kids.

Of course, that fun is
what turned into these kids.

Mm.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

And I heard Franklin telling Dad

he's going to ask me to the dance!

That's so exciting!

Oh, but you have to act surprised

so you don't take
his big moment away from him.

Oh, I can act surprised.

Okay, he asked you to the dance.

He didn't electrocute you.

Just hold a smile for five seconds,

then accept.

Sounds good. Thanks.

Look at me, giving advice.

Who's the big sister now?

You.

You've always been the big sister.

I knew that.

So, are you getting me
a corsage for the dance?

Eh, I found an old Christmas
wreath in the basement.

I'll throw it around your neck.

You're not... doing that, right?

Ooh! Let's go in.

Maybe we'll learn
about our future together.

You've got to be joking.

It'll be fun!

Don't you want to know
what our wedding song will be?

"Danger Zone," Kenny Loggins. Next.

Let's get a second opinion.

Hmm.

What?

Are you about to tell me I'm adopted?

If you are, don't look
so worried. It'll be a relief.

This time tomorrow,

the kids will all be gone
and it'll just be you and me.

This is gonna be a special night.

And I picked up some aphrodisiacs

to get us in the mood.

Cheetos?

The dust has a way of getting...

everywhere.

Mm.

Well, Franklin!

What a surprise!

Are you ready?

I was born ready.

And with one extra toe.

Your dad says you've had a thing
for me for quite some time.

So let's do this.

Will you go to the dance with me?

Ugh!

If I could do this over,

I would have pinned him down
on a few more specifics.

So, my mom can take us to the dance,

or you can just drive.

I still need to sit in the back.

Airbags.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Franklin, can I talk to you
in my office?

Hold that thought.

Has this been going on for a while?

I need to talk to Anna-Kat.

This is bad. This is so bad.

They're not really
seeing each other, Oliver.

That's not it.

Brie and I were on Main Street,
and she pulled me in

to see that psychic
that no one ever goes into.

You mean the one
with the neon sign outside

and the cat in the window
who never moves, might be dead?

Yes. She predicted this would happen!

Hmm.

You have sisters.

He does!

A boy will come between them

and break one of their hearts.

That's impossible.

My sisters are eight years apart.

You saw what just happened!
The psychic was right!

Oh, my God.

Did she say anything about me?

How many times
am I gonna repeat senior year?

Psychics are con artists.

Besides, why are you so freaked out?

What does this have to do with you?

She made another prediction!

Why is that woman on fire?

He has swords through him.

Don't you have any cards
of guys getting a massage

or having a picnic?

An evening of romance tomorrow

will end in disaster.

You're a lot of fun.
Do you do kids' parties?

Something bad is gonna
happen at that dance

that'll ruin my relationship with Brie.

I don't think I should go.

I need all three kids out of the house.

This psychic is jeopardizing
my night alone with Greg.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Dude, you're totally gonna get stabbed

if you go to that dance.

Or something!

Trip, I'm feeling kind of sleepy.

Might need to take a little nap.

Would you be a dear and check
under my bed for monsters?

- I'd be honored to.
- Mm.

And you, calm down!

You're agreeing with Trip.

That should be your first red flag.

I just don't think
it's worth taking a chance.

What if the psychic's right?

Okay.

If you could see into the future,

what would you do?

Make a billion dollars
in the stock market.

Uh-huh. And that psychic
drives an old Pontiac

with a garbage bag taped
over the passenger window.

That's a good point.

Damn right it is.

I guess I just got myself worked up.

Of course you did!

Franklin asking out your older sister

is just a weird,
kinda creepy coincidence.

Thanks, Mom.

So... you going to the dance?

I'm going to the dance.

My night of romance is saved.

But I will feel real bad

if he does get stabbed at that dance.

I don't see what's so confusing.

You were supposed to ask
Anna-Kat to the dance.

She's my best friend.

Besides, isn't she
a little young for me?

No!

Franklin, there is no chance

Taylor is going to go
to the dance with you.

Then why did you give me
your permission?

I gave you permission to ask Anna-Kat.

- I think we're just going in circles.
- Oh, my...

You have your own boyfriend,

but you had to steal mine!

I didn't steal yours.

Franklin asked me to the dance.

I had nothing to do with it.

Besides, he's 9.

9 1/2!

Anna-Kat, I'm gonna tell him no.

And break his heart?!

- Get out!
- Anna-Kat...

I said get out!

See? Doesn't ice cream make it better?

It is pretty tasty.

Now I'm thinking about Tasty,

Franklin's hamster.

Now I'm thinking about
that "B" who stole him from me!

You can't be mad at Taylor for this.

You can be mad at her
for resetting our Hulu password

and forgetting it, but not this.

I just dropped Franklin off at home.

Was his home Hell?

Oh, honey, h-he's just confused.

Right now, he just sees you as a friend,

but that could change at any moment.

That's true.

Sometimes it is just a matter
of shifting a man's perspective

so he sees you differently.

I once pretended to be
courted by a French duke

just to get a guy's attention.

Wait. What?

Jean-Luc wasn't real?

Oh, yeah. That was you.

I see what you're saying.

Thanks, guys.

I think I know what to do.

You sent all those baguettes
to yourself?

Greg, I may half-ass a lot of things,

but not schemes.

Never schemes.

Hi, Anna-Kat.

Hi, Taylor.

Having some breakfast?

Why don't you take my bowl?

Why don't you take my spoon?

You're good at taking things
that are mine!

Looks like you still need some space.

Our night is ruined

if Anna-Kat isn't going
to that dance anymore.

Anything less than all three kids
out of the house does us no good.

Guess I'm putting the box back.

We might have to save it
till Anna-Kat goes to college.

I'm gonna look pretty stupid
wearing that thing when I'm 60.

I promise not to laugh.

I can't keep that promise.

Guys, I'm thinking I need a limo

to take Brie to the dance tonight.

Oh. Of course. I'll get right on that.

Call Westport Limo Company.

Calling Westport Limo Company.

Hang up! Hang up!
It was a bit! It was a bit!

What are you doing here?

Anna-Kat called
and told me to come over.

She told me to come over, too.

Please, step inside.

I'm glad we're all here.

Franklin, I'm fine with you

going to the dance with my sister.

Uhhhhh...

Because I already have a date.

You do?

I mean, I will.

Trip, will you do me the honor

of going to the spring dance with me?

Uhhhhh...

Yes, he'll go with you.

Perfect!

I'm wearing blue.

Take that into account for my corsage.

Cool. We can double-date.

Great.

Dad, take him home.

I'm doing a lot of driving
of Franklin this week.

Worth it. Our date night is back on.

Why did you make me agree to that?

Now I'm on the hook
for a blue croissant.

This is a good thing.

Now that she's taking you to the dance,

she and I are even.

Believe me, it's no fun
being on Anna-Kat's bad side.

She keeps crop-dusting me.

And I know it's not an accident

because she winks after she does it.

Honey, what is wrong now?

I'm not gonna need that limo anymore.

Thank you for letting me know.

I'll cancel the limo
that you were never getting.

No, another prediction came true!

Someone in your family
will take an unexpected trip.

Not gonna happen.

The closest we come to traveling

is going to the "far" Costco.

They're more generous with the samples.

Anna-Kat is taking Trip to the dance.

He wasn't expecting it.

It was an unexpected trip!

Are you screwing with me?

It's too weird, Mom.

She predicted an evening of romance

will end in disaster, and so far,

all her predictions have come true.

I'm gonna tell you
the same thing I told you

when I accidentally shrunk your
favorite sweater in the dryer.

Calm the [bleep] down!

I'm not gonna chance ruining
my relationship with Brie.

I'm staying home tonight.

Oliver, come on!

You can't really believe that nonsense.

You are a straight-A student...

Angela goes to psychics all the time,

and she's a high-powered lawyer.

She also says "Coo-ba"
instead of "Cuba."

Your role model's a communist!

You're not taking
this night away from me.

I'm going to fix this
if it's the last thing I do.

Well, that's a little dramatic.
But I do have to fix it.

This place is jammed.
Why are we here on a Saturday?

I told you,
I need your help with something.

I do not wait for a table.

I'm gonna fix this problem
with Richard's money

and my moxie.

Mm.

Angela, I need you
to talk to Oliver for me.

He went into that psychic
on Main Street.

Oh, Madame Susan?

- Susan?
- Mm-hmm.

You'd think she'd come up
with a spookier name.

She couldn't control
what her parents named her.

Still, for the sign.
Go with Esmerelda or something.

Is that cat in her window dead?

Okay, I feel like
we're getting sidetracked.

Right. So, Oliver went to see her,

and she said something bad was
going to happen at the dance,

so now he's afraid to go.

He trusts you, so I need you to tell him

that it's all hocus-pocus
for weak-minded fools.

Hey, psychics have a window
into a world we just can't see.

Just because you can't see it
doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Like elves and the fairy folk?

Exactly.

- I was joking.
- Oh.

Angela, I need you
to help change Oliver's mind

and get him to the dance.

You are asking me
to go against all my beliefs.

- Please?
- No!

I have integrity.

I'll show you that video of Doris
when she slipped on the ice.

Oh, my God. Deal. Deal!

Hey, I just got us a table.
Where are you guys going?

I solved my problem.
Angela's gonna help me.

But I just gave the list guy $500

and a promise
to make out in the bathroom!

Now quickly drink this.

Mm...

The sage cleanses your aura,

while the lemon water
is good for positive ions.

How do you feel?

- I don't know.
- Mm.

I feel okay. Lighter?

Ah. Then it worked.

- You sure?
- Positive.

Really?

Yes.

You're safe to go to the dance.

- Thanks, Angela.
- Yeah.

Angela, that was amazing.

How did you know
how to do all that stuff?

I made the whole thing up to help you.

There's no way to undo
a psychic's prediction.

This isn't even sage.

It's just cloves some
goth chick left in my car.

Here, put this around my neck

and tell me my eyes shine
like the stars.

I got this for you...

Louder, so he hears.

I got this for you!

Your eyes shine like the stars!

Taylor, these are the guys
from my social skills group.

Hi.

This is Taylor, my date.

Come on, fellas.

Show some social skills.

Hello.

Nice.

Is he looking?

No.

Oh.

Is he looking now?

No.

This isn't working.

He's supposed to fly into
a jealous rage, but instead,

he's dangling that homewrecker
in front of his nerd group!

Finally, the house to ourselves.

I'm gonna light some candles.

And I'm gonna go upstairs
and put on what's in that box.

Might take a couple minutes.

There's a special adhesive for it.

Don't want that coming off.

Oh.

Brie left her phone.

Hi, Brie's mom!

Oh. Uh, who are you?

I'm Oliver's mom, Katie.

They're already at the dance.

Brie left her phone here
when we were taking pictures.

Uh, um, I'm sorry. W-What school dance?

Who is Oliver?

Oliver Otto, her boyfriend.

No, no, no, no, no. Brie is not
allowed to date till sophomore year.

She knows that.

Uh...

I'm going down to that dance.

Wait. I don't see any reason to...

Oh, no!

Oliver's date.

You ready? I got it on.

It would fit much better
if I were fully shaved.

Check it out.

It's almost exactly
what my hair looked like

when you first fell in love with me.

Greg, we got to head to
the dance and stop Brie's mom

before an evening of romance
turns into a disaster!

But we were just gonna...

The psychic was right!
All her predictions came true!

But you always say psychics are...

I was wrong.

- You were wrong?
- Yes!

You coming?

Give me just a minute.

I've imagined this moment so many times.

Ugh!

Okay.

Finally, a moment's peace.

Franklin had to go wet his hair.

I don't know.

All right.

How do we get Franklin
interested in Anna-Kat?

Hmm...

Well, what made you interested in me?

Well, you're super-pretty,

you're super-nice,

and you super-smell good.

Aww.

And you never laugh at me
when I can't remember...

Words.

Yes. Words.

Well, what do we have here?

Oh, hi, Franklin.

What kind of gentleman
takes one girl to a dance

and then kisses another?

Franklin, you know Trip is my boyfriend.

I don't care if he's
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

He just left
the greatest girl in the world

all alone by herself.

She's the greatest girl in the world.

There he is.

Oh, no! Brie's mom already got to them.

You should probably do the talking.

I have a history of making
things like this worse.

- Okay...
- No, never mind. I'll do the talking.

Honey, I am so sorry
I put you in this position

where you feel like
you can't be open with me.

It's okay. I shouldn't have lied to you.

No. I feel terrible.

Oliver seems like such a nice boy.

Thank you.

Hey.

Mom, I'll go ahead
and answer your questions.

Yes, she is talking about me,
and yes, she's sure.

Hi. We're Oliver's parents.

Talked to you on the phone earlier.

Yeah. So nice to meet you.

I'm Margaret Witherspoon.

You must excuse me.
I ran out of the house.

I must look like a mess.

My mom's gonna react badly to this.

Let's get your mom out of here.

Mrs. Witherspoon? Hm?

- Punch?
- Yes!

Oh!

Everything went great.

The psychic's prediction
was total nonsense.

Actually, the psychic was dead-on.

She said the evening of romance
would end in disaster.

And it did. Not for them.

It ended in disaster for us.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, by the time
we get back to the house,

I'll have to turn back around
and drive Franklin home.

We're going to be rushed
and tired again.

Maybe we can hook up in
the front seat of the minivan.

Greg, I don't think
that's spatially possible

for us anymore.

Probably right.

So much for our romantic evening.

Maybe not.

Would you care to dance?

I'd love to.

Hey, Dad?

Have you seen my...

When you encounter
the long-haired beast,

ask no questions.

- Oliver, this is just my...
- I'm good.