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1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:04,961
Damn it!
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,876
Ever since Langley Fallsapproved medical marijuana,
3
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,834
this whole townhas gone straight to hell.
4
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:11,228
Uh-oh,
looks like Stan is hot.
5
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,490
Damn right, I'm hot!
6
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,492
Crime is up,the economy is down.
7
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:15,624
Look at this.
8
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,147
They're even reportingabout how stoned this
9
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,194
Dow Jones character is
instead of actual news.
10
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,240
Potheads are so stupid,
Stan.
11
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,677
So stupid.Oh, he's on his feet.
12
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,418
Why did the pothead
cross the road?
13
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,420
He doesn't remember.Well, I'll tell you one thing.
14
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:32,423
It wasn't to get to his joblike the hardworking chicken.
15
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,947
Kick it![ Laughter, rap music plays ]
16
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,862
[ Music stops ]What's the differencebetween a pothead
17
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,212
and a working man?
18
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,865
A working man works,man.
19
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,912
A pothead puts pots in his head,Judge Dredd.
20
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,696
Kick it![ Laughter, music plays ]
21
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,091
Mr. S,
this is hilarious.
22
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,223
Why the hell
are you laughing?
23
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:52,095
I'm sorry, I thought
this was a funny time.
24
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,879
Is this a sad time?
25
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:56,360
I'm making fun of you, Jeff.You're a pothead.
26
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,755
If we can't laugh at ourselves,
who can we laugh at?
27
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,104
Other people, Jeff.
28
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,367
I'm sorry.
I'm a little high.
29
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,239
Oh, my God,you're such a loser.
30
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,371
Hey, how do you get a potheadto suck your [bleep]
31
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:08,677
Stick it in a bong.
32
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,809
Kick it![ Laughter, music plays ]
33
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:11,984
Can he even say that?
34
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:14,596
He's a bad, bad man!
35
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,554
[ Laughter ]
36
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,166
♪♪
37
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:21,820
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
38
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:25,694
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
39
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,784
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
40
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:33,441
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
41
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:38,141
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
42
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,839
♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
43
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:41,971
Aah!
44
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:46,541
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
45
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:49,152
♪♪
46
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,588
Hey, Dennis.
47
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,374
I'll take a packof Tommie Tokes blunt wraps
48
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,724
and howevermuch shake this gets me.
49
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,856
Hey, Jeff,
what's got you down?
50
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,162
It's my father-in-law.
51
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,599
He thinks I'm a loserbecause I smoke weed.
52
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,949
Well, that must mean he thinks
Steve Jobs, Bill Gates,
53
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,300
and Kirsten Dunst
are losers, too.
54
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,563
They're all well-known
marijuana users.
55
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:11,392
Really? Ah, I wish I knewthat this morning.
56
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,176
He loves Kirsten Dunst.
57
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,308
He thinks he saw herin Prague
58
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,223
once when he was backpackingthrough Europe,
59
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,225
but he's got no proofand the story changes
60
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,443
every time he tells it.
61
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,880
Dennis,
turn on the TV.
62
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:25,188
They're talking about weedon the news.
63
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,450
[ Music plays ]
64
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:29,236
Tommie Tokes,
the elusive marijuana-eer
65
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,455
has hidden four golden
rolling papers
66
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,327
inside packs
of his blunt wraps.
67
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,416
Winners and a guest
will get a tour
68
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,200
of his mysterious
weed factory,
69
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:40,203
so put down that
Fiery Doritos Loco Taco
70
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,336
and get your stoned ass
to the dispensary.
71
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,902
Customer #1:
Give me all the packs you got!
72
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:46,035
Customer #2: I also would like
all your packs.
73
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,081
Tommie Tokes' factory.
74
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:54,130
No one ever goes in and no oneever comes out, until now.
75
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,610
This is our objective --
76
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,656
a cannabis goodie
of epic proportions.
77
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,442
The Everlasting Edible.
78
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,095
Tommie Tokes has been
developing it,
79
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:06,229
and this thing gets you
messed up from the dress up,
80
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:09,101
from sun up to sunset.
81
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,799
For life!For life?
82
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,453
We've got to destroy that thing.
83
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:16,370
Exactly, Smith, but I'll be
the one to destroy it.
84
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,937
I've got a whole evening
planned.
85
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:25,074
I bought MLB 19 and I'm going toplay a season as the Rangers.
86
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:29,644
But I'm going to give
all the players girls' names.
87
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:33,474
Your job is to find me
one of these blunt wraps.
88
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,432
It's the only way
to get inside.
89
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:38,261
This is your only priority.
90
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,394
Hey, Stan, I've been meaning
to tell you --
91
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:43,745
you can see the outline of your
penis through your sweatpants.
92
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,965
I see you in the gym
every morning and it's...
distracting.
93
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:49,141
You did the right thingcoming to me with this.
94
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,969
And what's more,you picked the right time.
95
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,276
You think it's somethingwith the pants or the penis?
96
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,280
I'm leaning penis, Stan.
97
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:05,506
Please be gold.
Please be gold.
98
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,900
Dang it. Brown.
99
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,163
Ugh, so close.
100
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,645
You can't do that
on television...
101
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:18,083
is my favorite television show
of all time.
102
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,563
Okay, got to go, Mom.
103
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,392
Next time we'll talk about
what your favorite show is.
104
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:28,093
♪♪
105
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,313
In a shocking show
of motivation,
106
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,794
Langley's potheads
are lined up around the block
107
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,796
hoping to score
a golden blunt wrap,
108
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,452
but their chances grow slimmeras the first one has been found.
109
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:42,543
What is your name and where didyou find your golden blunt wrap?
110
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,371
My name is Pube Face
and, um,
111
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,982
it's actually
a really crazy story.
112
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:50,333
My --Your name is Pube Face?
113
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,770
[ People booing ]
114
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:56,992
♪♪
115
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:59,560
Aah!
116
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,909
[ Grunts ]
117
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,563
♪♪
118
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,391
[ Tires screech ]
119
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,916
♪♪
120
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,613
We interrupt this midmorning
screening of
121
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,267
"Showgirls: The Director's Cut"
122
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,792
to inform you the second
blunt wrap has been found.
123
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,620
Memphis: Larry,
how excited were you
124
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,405
when you found
the second gold wrap?
125
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:22,017
Oh, man, it was like
the first time I heard
126
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,150
Steely Dan, man.
You ever listen to them?
127
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,717
I'm a weatherman, Larry.
128
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:29,416
I only listen to the sweet,
sweet beeping
129
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,505
of my Doppler 5000.
130
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:35,073
Oh, and "Black Cat"
by Janet Jackson for sex.
131
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:38,599
♪♪
132
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,646
Faster!I'd help, but there's no stairs!
133
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,431
The third winner
is this lady.
134
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,433
What's up?
My name is Angie.
135
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,173
I smoke weed
before every meal --
136
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:51,960
breakfast, lunch, dinner,
brunch, fourth meal,
137
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,397
second lunch,
third breakfast.
138
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,530
Well, this lady's gross.
139
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:59,097
Greg: Thanks, Memphis.
She was gross.
140
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,535
With three gone, that means
there's just one
141
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:04,189
gold blunt wrap left.
142
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,191
Babe.
Jeff.
143
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,237
[ Blows ] Jeff.
144
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,554
Hey, bong brain, you have
the last gold blunt wrap!
145
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,033
Oh, my God, I won!
146
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:24,471
I'm going to Tommie Tokes'
factory! Hoo-hoo!
147
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,560
And you get
to take a friend.
148
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,213
Jeff,you have to take me.
149
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,215
I can't tell you why,but it's very important.
150
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,217
But Mr. S, you hate weed.
151
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:35,656
That would be like taking
Garfield to a Mondays factory.
152
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:36,874
Plus,
I should take Hayley.
153
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,311
Actually, it sounds
like a lot of walking.
154
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,662
Maybe you could just describe itto me when you get back.
155
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,359
You make a strong argument.
156
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:47,450
If I wasn't thinking about you
before, I definitely am now.
157
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,582
Mr. S, rebuttal?
158
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,672
I'm prepared to let yousleep with my wife.
159
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:54,370
Jeff, you'd be crazy
not to take that deal.
160
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,503
Okay, I've decided.
161
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,069
I'm taking Hayley.
162
00:06:58,113 --> 00:06:59,593
I don't want to go.
I'm not going.
163
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:02,683
In that case,
it looks like Mr. S
164
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,946
is going to
the weed factory!
165
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,905
Yes.Now let's celebrate.
166
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,692
Hey!
167
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,085
Oh, hell no!
168
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,173
Now you done it!
169
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,479
Yah!
Aah!
170
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,350
[ Panting ]
171
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,705
Glad you're here, Mr. S.
172
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,751
I think this is really gonna
open your mind to marijuana.
173
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,666
Who knows? You could be
the next Bill Gakes,
174
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,842
Stakes Jobs,
or Kirstle Durstle.
175
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:35,193
Or I could be the man
who takes down Tommie Tokes.
176
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,281
What's that, Mr. S?
177
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,763
I-I was just, uh,
talking about, uh, this.
178
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:42,418
[ Smooching ]
179
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,333
Your kisses
saved you again.
180
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,856
But how many more times?
181
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:49,120
One day, your luck will run out,Smith, and Jeff will discover
182
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,948
that you're trying to take down
Tommie Tokes.
183
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,516
What's that, Mr. S?[ Bell tolling ]
184
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,562
That's him.
185
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,436
I'm mother[bleep] Tommie Tokes.
186
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,352
That's just my homey
that holds my box.
187
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:06,007
[ Laughter ]
188
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,357
Where my winners at?
Let's roll.
189
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,967
[ Gas hissing ]
190
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:13,971
Welcome to the official tizzle
of my merry factizzle.
191
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:15,930
Interesting fact
before we begin --
192
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:18,759
nobody knows
when the factory was built
193
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,412
or anything about it, really.
194
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,762
Fascinating.
195
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,547
Mr. Tokes, will we be
seeing edibles on the tour?
196
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,897
Possibly of the
everlasting variety?
197
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:30,335
Hell yeah, there's gonna
be edibles, Big Chin.
198
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,902
This is a soda lock.
199
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,948
I just have to enter
the combination.
200
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:37,125
Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper,
Dew, Dew,
201
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,344
Diet Dew, weird-ass lemonade,
202
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,956
tricky little
water button, Coke.
203
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,872
Pepsi.[ Door chimes ]
204
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:50,138
Everything in this room
is edible.
205
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:56,187
♪♪
206
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,409
Wow. It's actually beautiful.
207
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:07,155
♪♪
208
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,722
Try some, Mr. S.
209
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:11,202
Oh, uh, is that chocolate?
210
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,596
My doctor said I'm only
to eat bananas foster.
211
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,729
Pube Face: Ow, my tooth!
212
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,034
[ Grunting ]
213
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:21,952
Fool, that area
is clearly an office.
214
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:24,259
Jeff: Whoa, he's gonna eat it
like a pelican!
215
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,740
[ Inhaling ]
216
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,829
[ Choking ]
217
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,962
Oh, God, my sweet Pube Face!
Help him!
218
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,748
Chill, baby.
Your boy's dead.
219
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:37,751
Not even the great
Patch Adams can save him now.
220
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,318
♪ Seven, six, five,
and to the fo' ♪
221
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,756
♪ Listen to us
or you headed out the door ♪
222
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,975
♪ Weed is a wonderful thing
to eat ♪
223
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,717
♪ It makes you feel happy
and friendly and also neat ♪
224
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,198
♪ But don't be dumb,
and use your eyes ♪
225
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:53,201
♪ You can't make weed
into office supplies ♪
226
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:57,640
♪♪
227
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:00,425
Say, Mr. Tokes,
who are those purple fellas?
228
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,906
Those are a native tribe
from the Andes
229
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,255
called the Snoopa Loompas.
230
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:05,909
Obviously, I can only catch
the little ones
231
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,650
'cause they don't
run that fast.
232
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,740
Now I got something
that'll blow your mind.
233
00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,048
This machine scans your brainand determines
234
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,877
the perfect strand of weed
for your personality.
235
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,880
Who wants to try?Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!I love weed!
236
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,360
I love weed! I love weed!
I love weed!
237
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:23,666
Please!
238
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,015
Man, I hate this lady.
239
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,452
Why'd I make this contest
random?
240
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:31,805
You. I notice you didn't eat
anything in my edible meadow.
241
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,807
I-I shouldn't.
242
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,243
I don't really
smoke the stuff.
243
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,812
Don't smoke any stuff,
except fools who step to me.
244
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,030
But that's just an expression.
245
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,685
If you don't,
I'm gonna think you a narc.
246
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,252
What mission?!
Of course not!
247
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,514
Give me that!
248
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,822
[ Machine whirring ]
249
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,562
That's the swirly thing.
250
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,564
Love that marble.
251
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:53,914
There's my mouse.
252
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,698
Blue dots.
253
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:56,917
That's my logo!
254
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,745
[ Microwave dings ]
255
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,834
Your personalized strain --
256
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,837
C-High-A.
Whatever that means.
257
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,056
Tokes up!
258
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,451
Whoa, you're doing it,
Mr. S.
259
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:13,760
That went down pretty easy.
260
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,544
My turn!
Wait!
261
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,067
The helmet needs
to recharge or else --
262
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:20,592
[ Electricity crackling ][ Groaning ]
263
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,986
♪ Seven, six, five,
and to the fo' ♪
264
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:27,730
♪ This chick was super pushy,
now she's dead on the floor ♪
265
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,515
If you follow me this way,
there's a room where I swear
266
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,386
I saw a ghost.
267
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,909
I'm very glad
you're all here,
268
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:35,999
'cause last time,
it scared me half to death.
269
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:37,435
But it was also fun
in a way.
270
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:41,875
Jeff, I am having a really,really grood time.
271
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,225
I'm having a grood time,
too.
272
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:47,010
Dude, what are you
even talking about?
273
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,229
We should go on
an adventure.
274
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:51,014
Come on, we never hang out,just the two of us.
275
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,756
'Cause usually you hate me.Not today.
276
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,586
Today, I want to do somethingfun with you, as friends.
277
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,370
Come on, let's go.
278
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,462
Beanbag chairs!
279
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:08,031
Oh, so soft, bro.
280
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,903
Look, a big red button.
281
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,861
Press it!
282
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,820
[ Machine whirring ]
283
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:17,040
♪♪
284
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,782
Jeff,we're beanbag clouds!
285
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:25,832
♪♪
286
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,053
Do you ever wish you hada new last name?
287
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:33,361
Something strong like --like Cuccinelli.
288
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:37,800
Stan Cuccinelli --
an Italian man.
289
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:42,587
♪♪
290
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,937
Where are we?
291
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,809
Whoa, check it out.
292
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,811
A tiny velvet pillow.
293
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,944
Think -- Think about how
small your head
294
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,989
would have to be
to even sleep on it.
295
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,382
You -- You'd have to --
296
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,862
You'd have to be,
like, a squirrel.
297
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,864
God,I wish I was a squirrel.
298
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,474
But Hayley
would never let me.
299
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:02,651
Yeah, you're right.
She's tough, but she's fair.
300
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,044
Wait a minute.
301
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,873
Look what's sleepingon the squirrel's pillow.
302
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,527
It's The EverlastingEdible!
303
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,226
The rumors are true!
304
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:15,969
[ Inhales deeply ]
Jeff, I got to be honest.
305
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:20,887
I came here to steal this
for my job at the C.I.A.
306
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,889
I still work there
part time.
307
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,848
But after this amazing day
with you,
308
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,458
I don't care
what my boss says.
309
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,504
I can't take it.
That'd be wrong.
310
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:32,855
That's really cool
of you, Mr. S.
311
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,465
Now, what do you say
we get back?
312
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,119
The way this tour's
been thinning out,
313
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:38,121
they might notice
we're missing.
314
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,340
Get down from there!
315
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:41,733
It's too much bass
for your face!
316
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:44,258
I need to feel the music!
317
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:50,003
♪♪
318
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,440
[ Crying ]
Oh, God, Larry!
319
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,877
You died the way
you wanted.
320
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:59,577
I'm crying for me,
but I'm happy for you.
321
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,931
I guess that leaves Jeff.
322
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:08,673
My man.Congratulations, you get --
323
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:11,459
What?!One of y'all stole from me?
324
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,808
No, we didn't!
325
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,029
Unless you're talking
about the bathroom!
326
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,987
I'm so sorry!
327
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,120
I took some extra
toilet paper!
328
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,600
I thought I might need
to blow my nose!
329
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:25,125
You do need to blow
your damn nose.
330
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,170
You snotting all overyour face.
331
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,563
I'm not talking
about you.
332
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,521
I'm talking about him.
333
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:34,917
You lied to me.
334
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,919
We were having so much fun.
335
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,094
We got high together!
336
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,574
I didn't get high.
337
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,706
Wiz kids at the lab
cooked this up to keep me
338
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:44,144
from getting stoned.
[ Grunts ]
339
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:47,147
A big plastic bag.
340
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,365
[ Bag blows ]
341
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,932
But your eyes --
they're red.
342
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:53,718
Another trick from the wiz kids
at the lab.
343
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:54,937
I poke them.
344
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,156
Take him away.
345
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,549
Show him what we do
to narcs.
346
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,290
Jeff, we cool.
347
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,510
Except you got to get up
out of my factory.
348
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:06,862
But I was the last one.
I won.
349
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,864
I get the factory,
right?
350
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,519
Absolutely, if you can name
351
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,348
the exact order of sodas
in my soda lock.
352
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,306
Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper,
Dew, Dew, Diet Dew,
353
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,786
lemonade,
tricky little water button,
354
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,831
Coke, Pepsi.
355
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,834
[Bleep] that.
I'm still not giving it to you.
356
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,358
You can't make me.
357
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,842
Do your worst, Tokes.
358
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,367
I'm not afraid to die to win
the war on drugs,
359
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,195
or also don't kill me,
360
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,240
if you have the guts,
you coward.
361
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,982
Oh, Stan,
I'm not gonna kill you.
362
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:43,072
I'm gonna use this machine to
turn you into a Snoopa Loompa.
363
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,422
How? They're indigenous people
from the Andes.
364
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:48,817
That was my lie.
I created the Snoopa Loompas.
365
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,560
Not with my penis and my sperms,but with this machine.
366
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:56,781
This will break your bones,reorganize your internal organs,
367
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,783
and tattoo your skin purple.
368
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,482
It's excruciating,
but you won't feel a thing.
369
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:06,182
You'll be higher than a kite
strapped to a rocket.
370
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,793
I'd rather feel the pain
than be a pothead.
371
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,056
Think you're tough, huh?
372
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,232
Well, bzzzzz!
373
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,234
Tommy Tokes:Here comes the airplane!
374
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,584
Bzzzz!
375
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:19,152
[ Gasps ]
That was a dirty trick.
376
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,023
You're part devil, Tokes.
377
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,852
Yeah,
and I'm also part Dutch.
378
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,462
Jealous?
379
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,074
[ Laughs ]
380
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,076
[ Machine banging ]
381
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,643
It's all jammed up!
382
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,645
Hey, did you try
to stop yourself
383
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,082
from going through
this thing?
384
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,692
Yeah, of course.
385
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,521
Oh, what the frig
did you do that for?!
386
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,044
Now I got to go
to the machine room
387
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:46,744
where everyone's always farting
and playing pranks on me.
388
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,616
Mr. S's legs!
389
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:51,314
But where's
the rest of him.
390
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:56,015
Wait a minute, Mr. S is alwaysright above his legs.
391
00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,149
[ Dramatic chord plays ]
392
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,629
Oh, my God.
393
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:04,414
I always wanted to know what youlook like with your suit off.
394
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,460
Jeff! How did you get back
in the factory?
395
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:07,852
I told the front desk guy
396
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,290
I was good friendswith Emilio Estevez.
397
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,771
He about almost tore the doorof its hinges opening it for me.
398
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,034
Now let's get out of here.
399
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,299
This way.
Wait, Jeff.
400
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,431
Do I have time
to take my shoes off?
401
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,651
Oh, God,you're for real high.
402
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:26,741
That means it's up to meto get us out of here.
403
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,701
[ Lighter clicks ][ Laughs ]
404
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:34,227
Some people say smoking weedmakes you lazy.
405
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:39,797
But for me, smoking weedmakes me see lasers.
406
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,496
[ Lasers vibrating ]
407
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:47,805
Whoa.
408
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,242
[ Alarm blaring ]
409
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:52,375
♪♪
410
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,899
Get those stoned fools!
411
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,598
Why did I even have this
dumb factory tour?
412
00:17:57,641 --> 00:18:01,384
I had very little to gain
from a business perspective.
413
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:07,129
♪♪
414
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:13,918
Perfect.
415
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:17,487
Sitting's gonna feelso good right now.
416
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:20,142
[ Engine starts ]♪ Clap your hands, everybody
417
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,013
♪ If you got what it takes There they are!
418
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,494
♪ 'Cause I'm Kurtis Blow Jeff, bad things!
419
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,540
♪ These are the breaks
420
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,585
♪ Brakes on a bus,
brakes on a car ♪
421
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,022
Jeff: A tunnel.We should be safe in here.
422
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,981
♪ Breaks to win
and breaks to lose ♪
423
00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,200
[ Laughing ]
424
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:35,723
[ Snakes hissing ]
425
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:36,506
[ Boar roars ]
426
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,594
[ Grunts ][ Groans ]
427
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:38,726
Oh, God,
this is too much.
428
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,162
Close your eyes,
Mr. Smith.
429
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,555
Where am I?Just listen to my voice.
430
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,383
I'm a facade of a man built on amountain of bones and flesh.
431
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,602
♪ Stelio Stelio Kontos You're a man with a soul
and a happy heart.
432
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,169
♪ Stelio I've lost all credibility.
433
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,736
You're a good person!
434
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:52,261
[ Screaming ]
435
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,571
Jeff,I'm starting to freak out.
436
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,529
How -- How much longer
am I gonna be high?
437
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,184
Uh...
only a couple more minutes.
438
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,794
Oh, thank God.
439
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:05,318
Should I eat
another one then?
440
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:07,363
Snoopa Loompa:
They're by the boat!
441
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:10,627
It's a dead end!
442
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,108
Jeff,
promise you won't be mad,
443
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,633
but I think I left my sunglassesin the car boat.
444
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:19,332
That's right.
End of the line.
445
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,421
See you in hell.
446
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,206
No, see me inhale.
447
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,252
[ Dial clicks ]
448
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,645
[ Air hissing ]
449
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,996
Jeff Fischer, I've had about
enough of you vandalizing
450
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,216
my dank-ass weed factory.
451
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,348
Get them!
452
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,699
♪♪
453
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,004
Aah!
454
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,310
Aah!
455
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,356
You think we scared
of your ass?
456
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,487
Aah!
457
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:45,836
Aah!
458
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,492
Okay, you scared my ass!
459
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,451
That is just gruesome.
460
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:54,236
I know you were in danger,
but there was still a sense
461
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,629
of fun and whimsy to it all.
462
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:57,935
I mean, man, you took this
to a really,
463
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,111
really dark place.
464
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,243
I give up.
465
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,637
[ Inhaling deeply
466
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:08,163
[ Straining ]
Where's the exit?
467
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,601
Take my glass elevator.
468
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:15,301
Did you see the sizeof that rip I took?
469
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,259
It was truly epic.
470
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,130
I love you, Jeff Fischer.
471
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,614
It's time to go home,
Mr. S.[ Elevator clicks ]
472
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,616
[ Elevator bubbling ]
473
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,489
Hey, Jeff, thanks fortaking me to the factory.
474
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,099
It's been a real fun day.
475
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,927
[ Elevator pops ]
476
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,625
Whoa.
Whoa.
477
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,845
Weed does make stufflook pretty.
478
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,716
I knew you'd
come around on it.
479
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,328
That's not what I said.Marijuana is awful.
480
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,068
But I am coming around on you.
481
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:47,158
You were a badass in there.You're not a loser.
482
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:48,725
Thanks, Mr. S.
483
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:51,685
I wonder how I'm gonna getmyself turned back into a human.
484
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,557
You worry too much, Mr. S.
485
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,951
Check out the earth.It's coming so fast.
486
00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:59,127
Pretty chill, Mr. S.
487
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,346
It's coming really fast.
488
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,173
Jeff. Jeff. Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
489
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,219
Bye-bye!
See you soon!
34760
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