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1
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,938
Damn it! Ever since Langley Falls
approved medical marijuana,
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,806
this whole town has
gone straight to hell.
3
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,342
Uh-oh, looks like Stan is hot.
4
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,543
Damn right, I'm hot!
5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,545
Crime is up, the economy is down.
6
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,679
Look at this.
7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,148
They're even reporting
about how stoned this
8
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,417
Dow Jones character is
instead of actual news.
9
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:22,354
Potheads are so stupid, Stan.
10
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,823
- So stupid.
- Oh, he's on his feet.
11
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,558
Why did the pothead cross the road?
12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,560
He doesn't remember.
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
13
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,496
It wasn't to get to his job
like the hardworking chicken.
14
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,966
- Kick it!
- [LAUGHTER, RAP MUSIC PLAYS]
15
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,768
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- What's the difference between a pothead
16
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,169
and a working man?
17
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,771
A working man works, man.
18
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,906
A pothead puts pots in his head,
Judge Dredd.
19
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,776
- Kick it!
- [LAUGHTER, MUSIC PLAYS]
20
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,111
Mr. S, this is hilarious.
21
00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:48,446
Why the hell are you laughing?
22
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,249
I'm sorry,
I thought this was a funny time.
23
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,851
Is this a sad time?
24
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,454
I'm making fun of you, Jeff.
You're a pothead.
25
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,791
If we can't laugh at ourselves,
who can we laugh at?
26
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,124
Other people, Jeff.
27
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,327
I'm sorry. I'm a little high.
28
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,329
Oh, my God, you're such a loser.
29
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,398
Hey, how do you get a
pothead to suck your [BLEEP]
30
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,666
Stick it in a bong.
31
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,868
- Kick it!
- [LAUGHTER, MUSIC PLAYS]
32
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,404
Can he even say that?
33
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,738
He's a bad, bad man!
34
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,674
[LAUGHTER]
35
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,276
♪♪
36
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,879
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
37
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:24,616
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
38
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,752
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
39
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:32,424
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
40
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:37,095
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
41
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,832
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
42
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:40,999
Aah!
43
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,570
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
44
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,373
♪♪
45
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,641
Hey, Dennis.
46
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,244
I'll take a pack of
Tommie Tokes blunt wraps
47
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,779
and however much shake this gets me.
48
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,781
Hey, Jeff, what's got you down?
49
00:01:56,851 --> 00:01:58,316
It's my father-in-law.
50
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,719
He thinks I'm a loser
because I smoke weed.
51
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,921
Well, that must mean he
thinks Steve Jobs, Bill Gates,
52
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,257
and Kirsten Dunst are losers, too.
53
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,526
They're all well-known marijuana users.
54
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:10,462
Really?
Ah, I wish I knew that this morning.
55
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,064
He loves Kirsten Dunst.
56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,331
He thinks he saw her in Prague
57
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,400
once when he was
backpacking through Europe,
58
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,402
but he's got no proof
and the story changes
59
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,537
every time he tells it.
60
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,805
Dennis, turn on the TV.
61
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,942
They're talking about weed on the news.
62
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,477
[MUSIC PLAYS]
63
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,346
Tommie Tokes, the elusive marijuana-eer
64
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,482
has hidden four golden rolling papers
65
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,417
inside packs of his blunt wraps.
66
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,086
Winners and a guest will get a tour
67
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,288
of his mysterious weed factory,
68
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:39,023
so put down that Fiery Doritos Loco Taco
69
00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:41,293
and get your stoned
ass to the dispensary.
70
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,761
CUSTOMER #1:
Give me all the packs you got!
71
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,797
CUSTOMER #2:
I also would like all your packs.
72
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,032
Tommie Tokes' factory.
73
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:53,037
No one ever goes in and no
one ever comes out, until now.
74
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,639
This is our objective...
75
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,509
a cannabis goodie of epic proportions.
76
00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,112
The Everlasting Edible.
77
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,980
Tommie Tokes has been developing it,
78
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:05,250
and this thing gets you
messed up from the dress up,
79
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,986
from sun up to sunset.
80
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,654
- For life!
- For life?
81
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,390
We've got to destroy that thing.
82
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:15,193
Exactly, Smith,
but I'll be the one to destroy it.
83
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,730
I've got a whole evening planned.
84
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:23,868
I bought MLB 19 and I'm going
to play a season as the Rangers.
85
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:28,607
But I'm going to give all
the players girls' names.
86
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:32,277
Your job is to find me
one of these blunt wraps.
87
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,479
It's the only way to get inside.
88
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,215
This is your only priority.
89
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,417
Hey, Stan,
I've been meaning to tell you...
90
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:42,554
You can see the outline of your
penis through your sweatpants.
91
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,890
I see you in the gym every
morning and it's... distracting.
92
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,960
You did the right thing
coming to me with this.
93
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,894
And what's more,
you picked the right time.
94
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,164
You think it's something
with the pants or the penis?
95
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,168
I'm leaning penis, Stan.
96
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,442
Please be gold. Please be gold.
97
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,911
Dang it. Brown.
98
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,947
Ugh, so close.
99
00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:12,651
You can't do that on television...
100
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,988
is my favorite television
show of all time.
101
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,322
Okay, got to go, Mom.
102
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,192
Next time we'll talk about
what your favorite show is.
103
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:25,930
♪♪
104
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,066
In a shocking show of motivation,
105
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,669
Langley's potheads are
lined up around the block
106
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,671
hoping to score a golden blunt wrap,
107
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:36,274
but their chances grow slimmer
as the first one has been found.
108
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:40,212
What is your name and where did
you find your golden blunt wrap?
109
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,414
My name is Pube Face and, um,
110
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,949
it's actually a really crazy story.
111
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,152
- My...
- Your name is Pube Face?
112
00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:50,755
[PEOPLE BOOING]
113
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:54,893
♪♪
114
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,295
Aah!
115
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,763
[GRUNTS]
116
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,432
♪♪
117
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,100
[TIRES SCREECH]
118
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,704
♪♪
119
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,506
We interrupt this
midmorning screening of
120
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,107
"Showgirls: The Director's Cut"
121
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,777
to inform you the second
blunt wrap has been found.
122
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,246
MEMPHIS: Larry, how excited were you
123
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,381
when you found the second gold wrap?
124
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,852
Oh, man,
it was like the first time I heard
125
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,855
Steely Dan, man.
You ever listen to them?
126
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,523
I'm a weatherman, Larry.
127
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,325
I only listen to the sweet,
sweet beeping
128
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,394
of my Doppler 5000.
129
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:32,931
Oh, and "Black Cat"
by Janet Jackson for sex.
130
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:36,334
♪♪
131
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:40,405
Faster! I'd help, but there's no stairs!
132
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,074
The third winner is this lady.
133
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,342
What's up? My name is Angie.
134
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,010
I smoke weed before every meal...
135
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,814
breakfast, lunch, dinner,
brunch, fourth meal,
136
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,150
second lunch, third breakfast.
137
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,352
Well, this lady's gross.
138
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,889
GREG: Thanks, Memphis. She was gross.
139
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,558
With three gone,
that means there's just one
140
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,960
gold blunt wrap left.
141
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,962
- Babe.
- Jeff.
142
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,898
[BLOWS] Jeff.
143
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,310
Hey, bong brain,
you have the last gold blunt wrap!
144
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,712
Oh, my God, I won!
145
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,447
I'm going to Tommie Tokes' factory!
Hoo-hoo!
146
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,316
And you get to take a friend.
147
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,984
Jeff, you have to take me.
148
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,986
I can't tell you why,
but it's very important.
149
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,922
But Mr. S, you hate weed.
150
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,258
That would be like taking
Garfield to a Mondays factory.
151
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:34,659
Plus, I should take Hayley.
152
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,929
Actually,
it sounds like a lot of walking.
153
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,197
Maybe you could just describe
it to me when you get back.
154
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,999
You make a strong argument.
155
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:45,070
If I wasn't thinking about you before,
I definitely am now.
156
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,338
Mr. S, rebuttal?
157
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:49,474
I'm prepared to let
you sleep with my wife.
158
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,944
Jeff, you'd be crazy
not to take that deal.
159
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,146
Okay, I've decided.
160
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,880
I'm taking Hayley.
161
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,482
I don't want to go. I'm not going.
162
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,485
In that case, it looks like Mr. S
163
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,687
is going to the weed factory!
164
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,591
- Yes.
- Now let's celebrate.
165
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:09,227
Hey!
166
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,830
Oh, hell no!
167
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,966
- Now you done it! Yah!
- Aah!
168
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,901
[PANTING]
169
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,372
Glad you're here, Mr. S.
170
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,309
I think this is really gonna
open your mind to marijuana.
171
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,445
Who knows?
You could be the next Bill Gakes,
172
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,647
Stakes Jobs, or Kirstle Durstle.
173
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,850
Or I could be the man who
takes down Tommie Tokes.
174
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:32,928
What's that, Mr. S?
175
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,321
I-I was just, uh,
talking about, uh, this.
176
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:39,190
[SMOOCHING]
177
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,992
Your kisses saved you again.
178
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,661
But how many more times?
179
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,864
One day, your luck will run out,
Smith, and Jeff will discover
180
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,799
that you're trying to
take down Tommie Tokes.
181
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,335
- What's that, Mr. S?
- [BELL TOLLING]
182
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,338
That's him.
183
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,142
I'm mother[BLEEP] Tommie Tokes.
184
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,011
That's just my homey that holds my box.
185
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,681
[LAUGHTER]
186
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,016
Where my winners at? Let's roll.
187
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,818
[GAS HISSING]
188
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,755
Welcome to the official
tizzle of my merry factizzle.
189
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,691
Interesting fact before we begin...
190
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,360
nobody knows when the factory was built
191
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,028
or anything about it, really.
192
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,630
Fascinating.
193
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,300
Mr. Tokes,
will we be seeing edibles on the tour?
194
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,635
Possibly of the everlasting variety?
195
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:27,038
Hell yeah,
there's gonna be edibles, Big Chin.
196
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,640
This is a soda lock.
197
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,709
I just have to enter the combination.
198
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,712
Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Dew, Dew,
199
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,047
Diet Dew, weird-ass lemonade,
200
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,650
tricky little water button, Coke.
201
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,520
- Pepsi.
- [DOOR CHIMES]
202
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,725
Everything in this room is edible.
203
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:54,133
♪♪
204
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,935
Wow. It's actually beautiful.
205
00:08:57,004 --> 00:09:03,742
♪♪
206
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,477
Try some, Mr. S.
207
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,746
Oh, uh, is that chocolate?
208
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,415
My doctor said I'm only
to eat bananas foster.
209
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,151
PUBE FACE: Ow, my tooth!
210
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,685
[GRUNTING]
211
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:18,557
Fool, that area is clearly an office.
212
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,826
JEFF: Whoa,
he's gonna eat it like a pelican!
213
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,362
[INHALING]
214
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,296
[CHOKING]
215
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:28,700
Oh, God, my sweet Pube Face! Help him!
216
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,436
Chill, baby. Your boy's dead.
217
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,373
Not even the great Patch
Adams can save him now.
218
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,842
♪ Seven, six, five, and to the fo' ♪
219
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,511
♪ Listen to us or you
headed out the door ♪
220
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:41,646
♪ Weed is a wonderful thing to eat ♪
221
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,249
♪ It makes you feel happy
and friendly and also neat ♪
222
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,785
♪ But don't be dumb, and use your eyes ♪
223
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,788
♪ You can't make weed
into office supplies ♪
224
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:54,059
♪♪
225
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,928
Say, Mr. Tokes,
who are those purple fellas?
226
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,330
Those are a native tribe from the Andes
227
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,932
called the Snoopa Loompas.
228
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,601
Obviously,
I can only catch the little ones
229
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,069
'cause they don't run that fast.
230
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,106
Now I got something
that'll blow your mind.
231
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:10,742
This machine scans your
brain and determines
232
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,212
the perfect strand of
weed for your personality.
233
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,347
- Who wants to try?
- Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! I love weed!
234
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,817
I love weed! I love weed! I love weed!
235
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,085
Please!
236
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,686
Man, I hate this lady.
237
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,955
Why'd I make this contest random?
238
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:28,293
You. I notice you didn't eat
anything in my edible meadow.
239
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,295
I-I shouldn't.
240
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,763
I don't really smoke the stuff.
241
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:35,234
Don't smoke any stuff,
except fools who step to me.
242
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,635
But that's just an expression.
243
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:39,304
If you don't,
I'm gonna think you a narc.
244
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,772
What mission?! Of course not!
245
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:41,907
Give me that!
246
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,444
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
247
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,045
That's the swirly thing.
248
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,047
Love that marble.
249
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,381
There's my mouse.
250
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,183
Blue dots.
251
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,318
That's my logo!
252
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,386
[MICROWAVE DINGS]
253
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:57,256
Your personalized strain...
254
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,525
C-High-A. Whatever that means.
255
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:02,527
Tokes up!
256
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,831
Whoa, you're doing it, Mr. S.
257
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,335
That went down pretty easy.
258
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:11,937
- My turn!
- Wait!
259
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,538
The helmet needs to recharge or else...
260
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:17,008
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- [GROANING]
261
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,410
♪ Seven, six, five, and to the fo' ♪
262
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:24,215
♪ This chick was super pushy,
now she's dead on the floor ♪
263
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,885
If you follow me this way,
there's a room where I swear
264
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,554
I saw a ghost.
I'm very glad you're all here,
265
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,357
'cause last time,
it scared me half to death.
266
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,892
But it was also fun in a way.
267
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:38,430
Jeff, I am having a really,
really grood time.
268
00:11:38,499 --> 00:11:40,765
I'm having a grood time, too.
269
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,368
Dude, what are you even talking about?
270
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,769
We should go on an adventure.
271
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,372
Come on, we never hang out,
just the two of us.
272
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,175
- 'Cause usually you hate me.
- Not today.
273
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,912
Today, I want to do something
fun with you, as friends.
274
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,748
Come on, let's go.
275
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:00,852
Beanbag chairs!
276
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:04,589
Oh, so soft, bro.
277
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,325
Look, a big red button.
278
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,259
Press it!
279
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,195
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
280
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,332
♪♪
281
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,135
Jeff, we're beanbag clouds!
282
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:23,809
♪♪
283
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,611
Do you ever wish you
had a new last name?
284
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,815
Something strong like...
like Cuccinelli.
285
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:34,019
Stan Cuccinelli... an Italian man.
286
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:38,957
♪♪
287
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,491
Where are we?
288
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,094
Whoa, check it out.
289
00:12:43,164 --> 00:12:45,364
A tiny velvet pillow.
290
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,499
Think... Think about how small your head
291
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,434
would have to be to even sleep on it.
292
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:50,769
You... You'd have to...
293
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,171
You'd have to be, like, a squirrel.
294
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,439
God, I wish I was a squirrel.
295
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,774
But Hayley would never let me.
296
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,977
Yeah, you're right.
She's tough, but she's fair.
297
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,179
Wait a minute.
298
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,114
Look what's sleeping on
the squirrel's pillow.
299
00:13:03,184 --> 00:13:05,784
It's The Everlasting Edible!
300
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,720
The rumors are true!
301
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:12,457
[INHALES DEEPLY] Jeff,
I got to be honest.
302
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:17,128
I came here to steal this
for my job at the C.I.A.
303
00:13:17,198 --> 00:13:19,398
I still work there part time.
304
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,001
But after this amazing day with you,
305
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,869
I don't care what my boss says.
306
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,871
I can't take it. That'd be wrong.
307
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,008
That's really cool of you, Mr. S.
308
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,809
Now, what do you say we get back?
309
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,477
The way this tour's been thinning out,
310
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:34,213
they might notice we're missing.
311
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,614
Get down from there!
312
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,016
It's too much bass for your face!
313
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,685
I need to feel the music!
314
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:46,225
♪♪
315
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,760
[CRYING] Oh, God, Larry!
316
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:51,296
You died the way you wanted.
317
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:55,768
I'm crying for me,
but I'm happy for you.
318
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:01,306
I guess that leaves Jeff.
319
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,976
My man. Congratulations, you get...
320
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,713
What?! One of y'all stole from me?
321
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:09,047
No, we didn't!
322
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:12,383
Unless you're talking
about the bathroom!
323
00:14:12,453 --> 00:14:14,119
I'm so sorry!
324
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,321
I took some extra toilet paper!
325
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,924
I thought I might need to blow my nose!
326
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,326
You do need to blow your damn nose.
327
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,328
You snotting all over your face.
328
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,796
I'm not talking about you.
329
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,665
I'm talking about him.
330
00:14:30,071 --> 00:14:31,402
You lied to me.
331
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,071
We were having so much fun.
332
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,473
We got high together!
333
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,807
I didn't get high.
334
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,943
Wiz kids at the lab
cooked this up to keep me
335
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,545
from getting stoned. [GRUNTS]
336
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,282
A big plastic bag.
337
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,683
[BAG BLOWS]
338
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,084
But your eyes... they're red.
339
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:49,955
Another trick from the
wiz kids at the lab.
340
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,089
I poke them.
341
00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,223
Take him away.
342
00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:54,693
Show him what we do to narcs.
343
00:14:54,762 --> 00:14:56,628
Jeff, we cool.
344
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,764
Except you got to get
up out of my factory.
345
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:02,968
But I was the last one. I won.
346
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,970
I get the factory, right?
347
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,772
Absolutely, if you can name
348
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,575
the exact order of
sodas in my soda lock.
349
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,644
Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper,
Dew, Dew, Diet Dew,
350
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,045
lemonade, tricky little water button,
351
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,914
Coke, Pepsi.
352
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:18,917
[BLEEP] that.
I'm still not giving it to you.
353
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,519
You can't make me.
354
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,091
Do your worst, Tokes.
355
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,760
I'm not afraid to die
to win the war on drugs,
356
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,229
or also don't kill me,
357
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,297
if you have the guts, you coward.
358
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,034
Oh, Stan, I'm not gonna kill you.
359
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:38,237
I'm gonna use this machine to
turn you into a Snoopa Loompa.
360
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,639
How? They're indigenous
people from the Andes.
361
00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:44,042
That was my lie.
I created the Snoopa Loompas.
362
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,846
Not with my penis and my sperms,
but with this machine.
363
00:15:47,915 --> 00:15:51,850
This will break your bones,
reorganize your internal organs,
364
00:15:51,919 --> 00:15:53,852
and tattoo your skin purple.
365
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:56,655
It's excruciating,
but you won't feel a thing.
366
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,753
You'll be higher than a
kite strapped to a rocket.
367
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:03,929
I'd rather feel the
pain than be a pothead.
368
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,397
Think you're tough, huh?
369
00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:07,466
Well, bzzzzz!
370
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,334
TOMMY TOKES: Here comes the airplane!
371
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,737
Bzzzz!
372
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,473
[GASPS] That was a dirty trick.
373
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,207
You're part devil, Tokes.
374
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,944
Yeah, and I'm also part Dutch.
375
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,745
Jealous?
376
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,348
[LAUGHS]
377
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,084
[MACHINE BANGING]
378
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,819
It's all jammed up!
379
00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:29,821
Hey, did you try to stop yourself
380
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:31,356
from going through this thing?
381
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,891
Yeah, of course.
382
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,827
Oh, what the frig did you do that for?!
383
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,296
Now I got to go to the machine room
384
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:41,967
where everyone's always farting
and playing pranks on me.
385
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,769
Mr. S's legs!
386
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,638
But where's the rest of him.
387
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:51,243
Wait a minute,
Mr. S is always right above his legs.
388
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:55,114
[DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS]
389
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,848
Oh, my God.
390
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,584
I always wanted to know what you
look like with your suit off.
391
00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:01,653
Jeff! How did you get
back in the factory?
392
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:03,054
I told the front desk guy
393
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,256
I was good friends with Emilio Estevez.
394
00:17:05,326 --> 00:17:08,927
He about almost tore the door
of its hinges opening it for me.
395
00:17:08,996 --> 00:17:10,262
Now let's get out of here.
396
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,265
- This way.
- Wait, Jeff.
397
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:16,535
Do I have time to take my shoes off?
398
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,870
Oh, God, you're for real high.
399
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,774
That means it's up to me
to get us out of here.
400
00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:25,744
- [LIGHTER CLICKS]
- [LAUGHS]
401
00:17:25,813 --> 00:17:29,348
Some people say smoking
weed makes you lazy.
402
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:34,886
But for me,
smoking weed makes me see lasers.
403
00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:37,556
[LASERS VIBRATING]
404
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:42,904
Whoa.
405
00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:44,496
[ALARM BLARING]
406
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,298
♪♪
407
00:17:47,368 --> 00:17:49,968
Get those stoned fools!
408
00:17:50,037 --> 00:17:52,704
Why did I even have
this dumb factory tour?
409
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:56,307
I had very little to gain
from a business perspective.
410
00:17:56,377 --> 00:18:07,853
♪♪
411
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:08,930
Perfect.
412
00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:12,591
Sitting's gonna feel so good right now.
413
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,994
- [ENGINE STARTS]
- ♪ Clap your hands, everybody ♪
414
00:18:15,062 --> 00:18:17,062
- ♪ If you got what it takes ♪
- There they are!
415
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,598
- ♪ 'Cause I'm Kurtis Blow ♪
- Jeff, bad things!
416
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,733
♪ These are the breaks ♪
417
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,602
♪ Brakes on a bus, brakes on a car ♪
418
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:26,071
JEFF: A tunnel.
We should be safe in here.
419
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,006
♪ Breaks to win and breaks to lose ♪
420
00:18:28,075 --> 00:18:29,408
[LAUGHING]
421
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,809
[SNAKES HISSING]
422
00:18:30,878 --> 00:18:31,610
[BOAR ROARS]
423
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,611
- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
424
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:33,812
Oh, God, this is too much.
425
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:35,080
Close your eyes, Mr. Smith.
426
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,748
- Where am I?
- Just listen to my voice.
427
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,483
I'm a facade of a man built on
a mountain of bones and flesh.
428
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,619
- ♪ Stelio Stelio Kontos ♪
- You're a man with a soul and a happy heart.
429
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,153
- ♪ Stelio ♪
- I've lost all credibility.
430
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,755
You're a good person!
431
00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:47,326
[SCREAMING]
432
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,697
Jeff, I'm starting to freak out.
433
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,633
How... How much longer
am I gonna be high?
434
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,036
Uh... only a couple more minutes.
435
00:18:57,104 --> 00:18:58,837
Oh, thank God.
436
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:00,505
Should I eat another one then?
437
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,408
SNOOPA LOOMPA: They're by the boat!
438
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,777
It's a dead end!
439
00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:08,113
Jeff, promise you won't be mad,
440
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:11,716
but I think I left my
sunglasses in the car boat.
441
00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:14,385
That's right. End of the line.
442
00:19:14,455 --> 00:19:16,255
See you in hell.
443
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,124
- No, see me inhale.
- _
444
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,326
[DIAL CLICKS]
445
00:19:21,395 --> 00:19:23,728
[AIR HISSING]
446
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:26,865
Jeff Fischer, I've had about
enough of you vandalizing
447
00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:29,134
my dank-ass weed factory.
448
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,402
Get them!
449
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:33,805
♪♪
450
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:34,906
Aah!
451
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,141
Aah!
452
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,143
You think we scared of your ass?
453
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,244
Aah!
454
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,713
Aah!
455
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,616
Okay, you scared my ass!
456
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,217
That is just gruesome.
457
00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:49,154
I know you were in danger,
but there was still a sense
458
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,622
of fun and whimsy to it all.
459
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:52,891
I mean, man, you took this to a really,
460
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,960
really dark place.
461
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,095
I give up.
462
00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:58,564
[INHALING DEEPLY]
463
00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:03,034
[STRAINING] Where's the exit?
464
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:06,571
Take my glass elevator.
465
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,175
Did you see the size of that rip I took?
466
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,111
It was truly epic.
467
00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:13,912
I love you, Jeff Fischer.
468
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,651
- It's time to go home, Mr. S.
- [ELEVATOR CLICKS]
469
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,520
[ELEVATOR BUBBLING]
470
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,189
Hey, Jeff,
thanks for taking me to the factory.
471
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,057
It's been a real fun day.
472
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,793
[ELEVATOR POPS]
473
00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:30,529
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
474
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,864
Weed does make stuff look pretty.
475
00:20:32,866 --> 00:20:34,666
I knew you'd come around on it.
476
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:37,136
That's not what I said.
Marijuana is awful.
477
00:20:37,204 --> 00:20:38,937
But I am coming around on you.
478
00:20:39,006 --> 00:20:42,073
You were a badass in there.
You're not a loser.
479
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,608
Thanks, Mr. S.
480
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,545
I wonder how I'm gonna get
myself turned back into a human.
481
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:49,280
You worry too much, Mr. S.
482
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:51,750
Check out the earth.
It's coming so fast.
483
00:20:51,819 --> 00:20:54,019
Pretty chill, Mr. S.
484
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,420
It's coming really fast.
485
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,088
Jeff. Jeff. Jeff! Jeff!
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
486
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,957
Bye-bye! See you soon!
487
00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:02,828
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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