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1
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*THE MICK*
Season 02 Episode 18
Episode Title: "The Car"
2
00:00:09,453 --> 00:00:10,609
My God.
3
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,882
- I-I-I weep for our future.
- Pathetic.
4
00:00:13,977 --> 00:00:15,329
When did Ben get a phone?
5
00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:17,102
I upgraded mine,
so I gave him my old one.
6
00:00:17,204 --> 00:00:20,504
No. Absolutely not.
I didn't sign off on that.
7
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,026
Hey, that's mine.
8
00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:23,681
Not anymore.
9
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,431
What the hell is wrong with you?
10
00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:26,962
- I don't like it.
- Phones?
11
00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:30,017
Uh, phones, computers,
the-the pads,
12
00:00:30,086 --> 00:00:31,529
the cloud, you know, the Internet.
13
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:33,611
- N-None of it. I don't like it.
- You sound senile.
14
00:00:33,679 --> 00:00:35,610
All right, well,
if living in the real world is senile,
15
00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:36,900
then I am Liza Minnelli.
16
00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:38,470
Real world blows.
17
00:00:38,547 --> 00:00:40,244
I can't wait till I'm
hooked up to an I.V. drip
18
00:00:40,312 --> 00:00:42,645
just hammering
VR porn stars 24/7.
19
00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:43,814
Ah, Chip.
20
00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:46,533
You don't mean that.
The world is full of excitement.
21
00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:47,736
Just look around you.
22
00:00:47,805 --> 00:00:50,391
- Oh, yeah, like what?
- Oh, like, uh...
23
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,586
Oh, politics and pranks,
uh, celebrity interviews,
24
00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:55,524
- cooking competitions.
- What are you doing?
25
00:00:55,593 --> 00:00:56,793
You're just naming stuff
on TV.
26
00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:59,352
Listen, guys, it's a beautiful day.
Let's go outside.
27
00:00:59,421 --> 00:01:01,815
Yeah, right. It's, like,
a thousand frickin' degrees outside.
28
00:01:01,883 --> 00:01:05,219
A-And God forbid we feel something
or have a human interaction.
29
00:01:05,288 --> 00:01:07,086
I have human interactions
all the time.
30
00:01:07,204 --> 00:01:09,446
Later today, I'm meeting up
with some guy I met online.
31
00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:11,727
- Probably a nerd.
- Or a pervert.
32
00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:13,002
He's neither, actually.
33
00:01:13,071 --> 00:01:14,908
He's a sick tattoo artist
and he's coming over
34
00:01:14,977 --> 00:01:15,995
to give me some fresh new ink.
35
00:01:16,063 --> 00:01:17,595
Are you sure he's not
a sick new murderer
36
00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,688
coming over to turn
your skin into a cape?
37
00:01:19,821 --> 00:01:21,791
Yeah, you know,
maybe Mickey's right.
38
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:23,182
I feel like the whole
point of the Internet
39
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,581
is so you don't have
to meet people.
40
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,807
You know, you can just live your
whole life inside a computer.
41
00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:29,508
No. That wasn't the point
I was making at all.
42
00:01:29,577 --> 00:01:31,633
Th-The point is,
put your phones down.
43
00:01:31,772 --> 00:01:33,946
Look up, get outside,
have an experience.
44
00:01:34,032 --> 00:01:36,055
Getting a tattoo is
an experience.
45
00:01:36,344 --> 00:01:38,916
I don't know, I'm thinking maybe
a power fist with nail polish.
46
00:01:38,985 --> 00:01:41,336
Yes, please put that
on your body forever.
47
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:42,423
Found her.
48
00:01:42,492 --> 00:01:43,664
- Found who?
- My car.
49
00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:45,899
Thought she got stolen,
turns out she's at the impound.
50
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:47,015
Want to come?
51
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:49,711
Yes, I do.
You're coming with me, Ben.
52
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,616
Let's get out of here before
these two get chopped to bits
53
00:01:51,683 --> 00:01:53,016
- by some nerd pervert.
- Yeah.
54
00:01:53,085 --> 00:01:54,554
Yeah, right.
A day with you
55
00:01:54,623 --> 00:01:56,921
is way more dangerous
than anything online.
56
00:01:58,093 --> 00:01:59,961
Ugh,
it's hot as hell out here.
57
00:02:00,257 --> 00:02:02,381
Yeah, my shorts are pulling up.
58
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,773
Why are we even here, Jimmy?
Just buy a new car.
59
00:02:04,842 --> 00:02:06,922
Or we got a whole fleet of
luxury vehicles at home.
60
00:02:06,991 --> 00:02:09,616
Yeah, I don't need a new car.
Mine runs just fine.
61
00:02:09,685 --> 00:02:11,961
Got a thousand memories in the ol'
Blue Magoose.
62
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,505
My memories consist mostly of
you running me over with it.
63
00:02:14,574 --> 00:02:16,272
You don't put something out
to pasture
64
00:02:16,341 --> 00:02:17,773
when it's still in its prime,
okay?
65
00:02:17,842 --> 00:02:20,553
Now, I know she may not look it,
but this kitty can still...
66
00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:22,209
Whoa!
67
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:24,021
What are you doing?
68
00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:26,953
- Yo, Officer, is this for sale?
- Everything's for sale.
69
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,078
She is a beaut,
tell you that much.
70
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:31,709
- How many miles we working with?
- 273,000.
71
00:02:31,783 --> 00:02:34,172
Still, that price can't be right.
Only 900 bucks?
72
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,537
I mean, what's the catch?
73
00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:38,801
I'm thinking these bullet holes
have something to do with it.
74
00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:39,963
You would be correct.
75
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,061
Chip, can I...?
76
00:02:47,014 --> 00:02:48,873
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Nothing. Beat it.
77
00:02:48,942 --> 00:02:51,404
- Hey, stop! That's private.
- What is this?
78
00:02:51,473 --> 00:02:52,954
Nothing.
I make doodles sometimes.
79
00:02:53,022 --> 00:02:54,538
- That was a doodle I did.
- Oh, well,
80
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:56,711
this doodle looks very similar
81
00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,280
to a tattoo Sabrina described.
82
00:02:58,349 --> 00:02:59,936
Nah.
83
00:03:00,209 --> 00:03:01,850
- Nah?
- Nah.
84
00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:06,264
Well, I think yes.
I think something smells fishy.
85
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,395
Well, I think you're an idiot,
so...
86
00:03:08,725 --> 00:03:10,366
Eh, maybe.
87
00:03:10,435 --> 00:03:11,890
I'll go see what Sabrina thinks.
88
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,717
No! Fine! Okay, just...
89
00:03:13,871 --> 00:03:16,280
Promise me that
you will not tell Sabrina.
90
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,819
Oh, I already like where this is going.
Okay. Let's go.
91
00:03:21,413 --> 00:03:23,530
I am Sabrina's tattoo artist.
92
00:03:24,022 --> 00:03:27,233
Marcus Lella, Ink Well Boston.
I made him up.
93
00:03:27,543 --> 00:03:29,545
You catfish your sister?
94
00:03:29,614 --> 00:03:31,549
No. What?
What is wrong with you? Ew.
95
00:03:31,618 --> 00:03:34,865
Um, I made a fake profile to
get closer to her friend Holly.
96
00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:36,837
I just want to find out,
you know, her likes,
97
00:03:36,905 --> 00:03:38,475
- her interests, what turns her on.
- Uh-huh.
98
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:39,631
Anything I can use.
99
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:41,787
- Creepy.
- I made a bunch of different personas,
100
00:03:41,856 --> 00:03:44,975
but... Marcus is the one that just really,
really broke through.
101
00:03:45,061 --> 00:03:46,389
- Hmm.
- Beautiful black man,
102
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,798
silver tongue,
a million fake followers.
103
00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:50,053
Oh.
104
00:03:51,084 --> 00:03:52,253
This is delicious.
105
00:03:52,322 --> 00:03:54,897
Oh, Sabrina is gonna destroy
you when she finds out.
106
00:03:55,123 --> 00:03:58,498
Yeah, okay. She's not gonna find out
'cause Marcus is gonna die of AIDS.
107
00:03:58,567 --> 00:03:59,867
- Wh-What?
- Yeah.
108
00:03:59,936 --> 00:04:01,297
My cover's basically blown.
109
00:04:01,364 --> 00:04:02,962
I told her the only days
I was available
110
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,601
was the days that she was out of town.
She cancels her trip.
111
00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:06,962
Now I have to give her
a tattoo today.
112
00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:08,452
But why AIDS?
113
00:04:08,521 --> 00:04:10,687
It makes sense.
He's a baller tattoo artist.
114
00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:12,382
He works with needles
and he gets laid a lot.
115
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,380
Okay, Chip. No.
You can't kill this guy.
116
00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:15,723
It is too good.
117
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,629
Pay me $200 and I will
help you keep Marcus alive.
118
00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:21,062
Nope. No, thanks. Go.
119
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,397
Let me rephrase that.
120
00:04:22,466 --> 00:04:26,355
For $200 I won't tell
Sabrina that you are Marcus.
121
00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:32,233
Yeah!
122
00:04:32,423 --> 00:04:34,600
Ben, feel that rumble in your balls?
123
00:04:34,676 --> 00:04:36,451
- It kind of hurts.
- Yeah?
124
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,554
They'll toughen up once
125
00:04:37,623 --> 00:04:39,170
- you work 'em over.
- Okay.
126
00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:40,589
That'll do with the ball talk.
127
00:04:40,658 --> 00:04:41,954
Can we get back on the highway,
please?
128
00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:44,537
I'm telling you, Mick.
You should take the wheel.
129
00:04:44,787 --> 00:04:48,553
- This broad can really salsa.
- I don't know what that means.
130
00:04:48,725 --> 00:04:50,227
Well, if you were feeling
what I'm feeling,
131
00:04:50,295 --> 00:04:51,535
you'd know exactly
what it means.
132
00:04:51,602 --> 00:04:53,218
If we switch places,
will you stop talking?
133
00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:55,221
- I'd consider it.
- Okay. Pull over.
134
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:56,514
Mm-hmm.
135
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:04,655
Now, she can be a little nasty
136
00:05:04,726 --> 00:05:05,860
- coming out of first.
- Yeah.
137
00:05:05,928 --> 00:05:07,063
So you're gonna want to be gentle
138
00:05:07,131 --> 00:05:08,858
- but also firm.
- Right.
139
00:05:12,902 --> 00:05:14,881
- It's locked.
- This one, too.
140
00:05:15,413 --> 00:05:17,327
Ben. Little help.
141
00:05:18,878 --> 00:05:20,397
It's locked.
142
00:05:24,865 --> 00:05:26,731
Oh, good.
143
00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:32,847
Where are we,
the surface of the sun?
144
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,176
- Am I in danger?
- What?
145
00:05:35,363 --> 00:05:37,004
No. No, no, no, no, no.
146
00:05:37,073 --> 00:05:38,473
You're good.
We're just playing a little game.
147
00:05:38,541 --> 00:05:40,207
- What's the game?
- Eh...
148
00:05:40,276 --> 00:05:42,011
Uh, cops and criminals.
149
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,761
We're the cops,
you're the criminal.
150
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:48,168
- What did I do?
- Well, fire stuff, obviously.
151
00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:50,305
Right? You, uh,
you burned down a high-rise
152
00:05:50,374 --> 00:05:52,342
and collected
the insurance money. You...
153
00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:54,596
Yeah, then you took out
40 cops trying to escape.
154
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:56,266
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
155
00:05:56,335 --> 00:05:57,576
Yeah, yeah. That'll do.
156
00:05:57,645 --> 00:05:59,846
So, should we grab, like,
a rock and start-start smashing or...
157
00:05:59,914 --> 00:06:00,915
Oh, no, no, no, no.
158
00:06:01,005 --> 00:06:03,253
You're not smashing her.
She's brand-new.
159
00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:05,824
This thing has 270,000 miles on it.
160
00:06:05,893 --> 00:06:07,511
She's probably unsmashable.
161
00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:08,802
I mean, this thing's built like a tank.
162
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:09,832
Okay, so what do you want to do?
163
00:06:09,901 --> 00:06:11,251
You just want to sit
back and watch him cook
164
00:06:11,319 --> 00:06:13,560
- like a bunny in a microwave?
- No, of course not.
165
00:06:13,629 --> 00:06:16,504
One of us should probably
hoof it into the town
166
00:06:16,573 --> 00:06:17,699
and get a hanger.
167
00:06:18,123 --> 00:06:19,357
It's built like a tank,
168
00:06:19,426 --> 00:06:21,340
but you can get into
it with a coat hanger?
169
00:06:21,429 --> 00:06:22,941
I get it. Okay,
you know what?
170
00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:24,597
Why don't you just sit here
171
00:06:24,666 --> 00:06:27,276
and keep looking pretty, Your Majesty,
172
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,347
while I fix the problem?
173
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,777
Take care of my baby,
and Ben, too.
174
00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:37,254
Good luck, Bear Grylls.
175
00:06:38,145 --> 00:06:40,114
Okay, buddy.
Time to smash.
176
00:06:42,989 --> 00:06:45,112
All right, buddy, scoot over
177
00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:46,909
and duck.
178
00:06:54,253 --> 00:06:55,275
Ow!
179
00:06:56,299 --> 00:06:57,793
Oh, boy.
180
00:06:58,897 --> 00:06:59,940
Ow.
181
00:07:00,009 --> 00:07:01,096
Are you okay?
182
00:07:01,165 --> 00:07:03,104
I'm okay.
183
00:07:04,069 --> 00:07:05,924
Fun game!
184
00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:11,959
Sabrina, I want to talk to
you about your friend Marcus.
185
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:13,878
You mean the guy Chip's
pretending to be online?
186
00:07:13,946 --> 00:07:15,440
Wha... You already knew this?
187
00:07:15,509 --> 00:07:17,159
Yeah, he left his laptop open.
188
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,385
And no black guy says
"frickin'" that much.
189
00:07:19,585 --> 00:07:21,604
So, uh, why do you keep
talking to him?
190
00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:23,273
'Cause I'm trying to
back him into a corner
191
00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:24,448
and force him to confess.
192
00:07:24,517 --> 00:07:26,402
But the dude just keeps doubling down.
It's crazy.
193
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:29,784
What if I told you there was a way
you could completely destroy him?
194
00:07:29,853 --> 00:07:31,377
Obviously, I'd be interested.
195
00:07:31,772 --> 00:07:34,627
Then I will tell you for $200.
196
00:07:35,552 --> 00:07:36,651
Yeah. No, thanks.
197
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,174
I'll stick to my original plan.
198
00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:39,682
Oh, okay. I understand.
199
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,487
I-I'm just gonna go tell Chip
to get out before it's too late.
200
00:07:42,654 --> 00:07:46,737
All right, Alba.
Come on. Fine.
201
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,299
Here.
202
00:07:53,877 --> 00:07:56,440
Okay. Holly is the key.
203
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,034
Chip created Marcus to get to her.
204
00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:00,377
- Holly?
- Mm.
205
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,342
Come on. Are you serious?
But she's so lame.
206
00:08:03,498 --> 00:08:07,127
Well, you must out Chip
in front of her.
207
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,777
Yeah, I mean,
that'll destroy him for sure.
208
00:08:08,845 --> 00:08:12,191
I'm into it, but...
I-I just can't wrap my head around
209
00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,309
this Holly thing.
210
00:08:13,378 --> 00:08:15,823
It's like, I have way hotter friends.
211
00:08:17,592 --> 00:08:20,901
I'm enough. I'm in shape.
212
00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:25,291
I have a good body.
I'm a good boy.
213
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,088
- Excuse me.
- Oh?
214
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,299
You snuck up on me there, guy.
215
00:08:30,415 --> 00:08:33,236
Yeah, sorry.
These electric cars run pretty quiet.
216
00:08:33,532 --> 00:08:35,052
You look like you could use some help.
217
00:08:35,278 --> 00:08:38,018
Hey, why won't you do me a favor
and go look somewhere else?
218
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,315
You sure? It's, uh, pretty hot out.
219
00:08:40,384 --> 00:08:41,831
Yeah, I'm sure, Mr. Robot.
220
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:46,028
Go ahead and drive your little
golf car back to the future.
221
00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:50,920
I'm an American man.
222
00:08:53,513 --> 00:08:55,568
Hey, Chip. Great news.
223
00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:58,131
- You threw her off my scent?
- Nah. I'm still working on that.
224
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,177
But also, Holly is downstairs.
225
00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:02,021
What? W-Why? Why?
226
00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:04,285
I-I don't know. But hey, I get it, man.
227
00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:05,552
She's very pretty.
228
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,678
No. This is not good.
229
00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:09,105
I got to get out of here.
230
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,053
No, hey.
What are you talking about?
231
00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:12,639
The whole point was
to get Holly here,
232
00:09:12,707 --> 00:09:13,881
- and now she's here.
- No.
233
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,595
- I got to kill him right now.
- Ay, no. Chip.
234
00:09:15,663 --> 00:09:18,084
Forget about Marcus.
You are Marcus.
235
00:09:18,153 --> 00:09:20,553
Marcus is a very ripped,
handsome black man.
236
00:09:20,622 --> 00:09:22,513
Okay, listen. Sure, sure,
237
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,524
his looks got her in the door,
238
00:09:24,638 --> 00:09:26,579
but she stayed for you.
239
00:09:26,648 --> 00:09:29,826
You know, she liked your words.
She laughed at your jokes.
240
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:31,263
- You know what?
- Yeah.
241
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,170
Maybe you're right. This is my moment.
242
00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:37,154
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You know, the table is set.
243
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,549
All you have to do is
sit down and eat.
244
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,513
I'm gonna frickin' feast.
245
00:09:41,589 --> 00:09:44,310
- Ah, yeah.
- Such a loser.
246
00:09:45,545 --> 00:09:48,006
Come on, you bastard.
247
00:09:48,079 --> 00:09:50,273
Come on.
248
00:09:50,342 --> 00:09:51,930
Open for me, you bitch.
249
00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:54,844
Open sesame. Come on!
250
00:09:54,913 --> 00:09:59,383
Ah, you stupid, stupid machine!
251
00:10:02,683 --> 00:10:04,672
Aunt Mickey, I'm bored.
252
00:10:04,741 --> 00:10:06,836
Can we play a different game?
253
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:09,930
Yeah. You got it, bud.
254
00:10:10,211 --> 00:10:13,075
Just give me a second to
gather my thoughts, okay?
255
00:10:17,372 --> 00:10:20,145
Ah. I did it.
256
00:10:20,214 --> 00:10:21,611
I did this.
257
00:10:21,806 --> 00:10:24,816
I penetrated
the impenetrable machine!
258
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:28,637
I'm a hero! I save lives!
259
00:10:31,091 --> 00:10:32,176
Oh, yes!
260
00:10:32,245 --> 00:10:33,473
Stand back, buddy, okay?
261
00:10:33,579 --> 00:10:35,958
Coming in the back door. Hang on.
262
00:10:36,045 --> 00:10:37,692
- Here we go. You standing back?
- Uh-huh!
263
00:10:37,784 --> 00:10:39,858
Look out, I'm on my way.
264
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,274
Blasting through.
265
00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:48,442
Damn it.
266
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,051
Uh, Aunt Mickey?
267
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,560
Are you in the trunk?
268
00:10:52,028 --> 00:10:55,293
Yes, Ben. Yes, I am.
269
00:10:56,784 --> 00:10:58,471
Aunt Mickey, are you still there?
270
00:10:58,622 --> 00:10:59,861
Yep.
271
00:11:00,523 --> 00:11:03,503
Just reflecting on all the
choices that landed me here.
272
00:11:05,056 --> 00:11:06,159
What was that?
273
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:07,958
- What was that noise?
- Oh, it's your phone.
274
00:11:08,026 --> 00:11:10,690
My phone? Can you see it?
Who is it? Is it help?
275
00:11:12,107 --> 00:11:14,354
Your wireless bill is past due.
276
00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:17,175
I know it is! It always is!
277
00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:20,143
Okay, Ben, we got to get that phone.
It's our only hope.
278
00:11:20,237 --> 00:11:21,550
- Move out of the way.
- Why?
279
00:11:21,619 --> 00:11:23,425
'Cause I'm coming in.
280
00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:26,895
Hey, guys. Don't mind me.
281
00:11:26,964 --> 00:11:28,028
I'm just grabbing an alkaline water.
282
00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:30,167
Just finished a brutal Pilates sesh.
283
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:31,592
You do Pilates?
284
00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:33,068
No, he does not.
285
00:11:33,377 --> 00:11:35,315
You don't know what I
do and what I don't do.
286
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:38,182
I mean, I love Pilates, too.
287
00:11:38,275 --> 00:11:39,856
- Really? But you've...
- Mm-hmm.
288
00:11:39,925 --> 00:11:42,237
You got such
a lean, toned body.
289
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,012
Well, yeah, it's 'cause of the Pilates.
290
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:48,008
Right. Kind of like the classic
chicken and egg sitch.
291
00:11:48,077 --> 00:11:49,246
What came first?
292
00:11:49,315 --> 00:11:51,698
Body or the Pilates,
Pilates or the body?
293
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:52,773
Dear God.
294
00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:54,008
- You're funny.
- Uh...
295
00:11:54,075 --> 00:11:55,440
You're the one telling the jokes.
296
00:11:55,509 --> 00:11:57,003
Right. I'm funny, too.
297
00:11:57,081 --> 00:11:58,464
We have a lot
in common.
298
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,715
I can't handle this anymore.
I'm gonna explode his ass.
299
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:01,950
Wait, no, no, no.
Wait, you can't do that.
300
00:12:02,018 --> 00:12:03,895
- Why not?
- Well, don't you get it?
301
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:05,208
He's starting
to climb the mountain.
302
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:06,592
The higher he gets,
the harder he will fall.
303
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,988
- Don't you want him to fall hard? Okay.
- Yes. Yes,
304
00:12:09,057 --> 00:12:10,816
- I want that. All right, fine.
- Yeah.
305
00:12:10,885 --> 00:12:12,714
We'll let him dig himself a little
deeper. - Yeah.
306
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:13,813
You know what?
307
00:12:13,882 --> 00:12:15,729
I'm gonna get that because
I'm the man of the house,
308
00:12:15,797 --> 00:12:17,540
but it's been really
cool talking to you.
309
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:18,694
Yeah.
310
00:12:21,104 --> 00:12:22,407
Hey, is Sabrina home?
311
00:12:22,789 --> 00:12:23,851
Who are you?
312
00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:25,258
I'm Marcus.
313
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:26,907
Uh...
314
00:12:26,976 --> 00:12:28,385
I think I'm almost there.
315
00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:29,911
Can you see this?
316
00:12:29,978 --> 00:12:31,852
Yeah, is that your fingers?
317
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:33,461
You're damn right it is.
318
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:34,956
I'm coming in!
319
00:12:39,297 --> 00:12:41,060
Oh, wow.
320
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:42,915
A lot hotter up here.
321
00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:49,702
Okay.
322
00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:50,975
All right, I'm stuck.
323
00:12:51,044 --> 00:12:52,383
I'm gonna need some help.
324
00:12:52,544 --> 00:12:53,640
How?
325
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,236
Wrap your arms around
my neck like a football,
326
00:12:56,305 --> 00:12:58,034
and yank as hard as you can, okay?
327
00:12:58,103 --> 00:12:59,131
You got this.
328
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,092
Three, two, one.
329
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:04,206
All right! Stop!
330
00:13:04,354 --> 00:13:06,159
Oh. All right.
331
00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:15,112
Okay, this is as far as I can go.
332
00:13:15,284 --> 00:13:17,620
I'm gonna need you to take
it into the end zone. Okay.
333
00:13:17,979 --> 00:13:19,386
No, no, no! Get... don't...
334
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:21,448
But don't touch me anymore, okay?
335
00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,770
Okay. We're not doing football any...
that's my fault.
336
00:13:23,839 --> 00:13:24,926
We're not doing football.
337
00:13:24,995 --> 00:13:26,323
We're switching sports.
338
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,192
- We're on to fishing.
- How do we do that?
339
00:13:29,261 --> 00:13:31,589
Well, for starters,
we're gonna need a fishing rod.
340
00:13:32,214 --> 00:13:35,432
So I want you to close your eyes
and help me take off my bra.
341
00:13:41,229 --> 00:13:42,262
Oh, hey.
342
00:13:42,331 --> 00:13:43,589
You're up.
343
00:13:44,143 --> 00:13:45,620
Who the hell are you?
344
00:13:45,687 --> 00:13:46,792
I'm Gary.
345
00:13:46,987 --> 00:13:49,276
You, uh, passed out
on the road back there.
346
00:13:49,864 --> 00:13:50,959
What are you talk...
347
00:13:51,151 --> 00:13:52,893
Whoa, are you tickling me, man?
348
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,495
Oh, no. That's the seat.
349
00:13:54,589 --> 00:13:56,386
You've got the massage function on.
350
00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,862
- Massage function?
- Now, don't worry.
351
00:13:58,931 --> 00:14:00,294
We'll be at the hospital pretty soon,
352
00:14:00,362 --> 00:14:01,996
- and they'll fix you right up.
- Oh, no.
353
00:14:02,065 --> 00:14:04,042
I'm not going to any hospital,
all right?
354
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:05,324
I got a car situation.
355
00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:07,915
I need, like, a-a slim jim or something.
356
00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,589
Oh. I'm sorry, I don't have one.
357
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:12,628
Uh, but I'm sure we can find one.
358
00:14:12,737 --> 00:14:16,104
Computer,
what's the nearest auto body shop?
359
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:18,393
Displaying matches for "auto body shop."
360
00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:21,503
This car just kind of does
everything for you, huh?
361
00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:22,936
Pretty cool, right?
362
00:14:23,542 --> 00:14:25,518
Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
363
00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:27,988
Till it gets sick of you
barking commands at it
364
00:14:28,057 --> 00:14:29,761
and slams your ass into a wall.
365
00:14:30,032 --> 00:14:31,511
Ha! Right.
366
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,167
I guess I'll take my chances.
367
00:14:33,321 --> 00:14:35,832
L-Look, look, man,
I'm kind of in a rush, all right?
368
00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:38,168
So I don't know if this
spacecraft has another gear,
369
00:14:38,237 --> 00:14:40,026
- but if you could punch it...
- Well...
370
00:14:40,182 --> 00:14:41,292
Sure thing.
371
00:14:42,488 --> 00:14:43,854
Oh...
372
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,276
Whoa.
373
00:14:49,891 --> 00:14:51,496
- Who the hell is this guy?
- Oh.
374
00:14:51,565 --> 00:14:53,164
He's a prostitute I found online.
375
00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:54,393
Pretty good, right?
376
00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:56,995
No, not good.
He looks nothing like my Marcus.
377
00:14:57,089 --> 00:14:59,339
- Well, oh, he doesn't seem to mind.
- Yeah.
378
00:14:59,408 --> 00:15:01,129
That's the problem, okay?
379
00:15:01,198 --> 00:15:02,487
I-I can't compete with that.
380
00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:03,745
Oh, Chip.
381
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:05,550
You need to see
the bigger picture.
382
00:15:05,619 --> 00:15:08,831
If Marcus is here and you are here,
then you can't be Marcus.
383
00:15:08,956 --> 00:15:10,678
I did you a favor. Now,
384
00:15:10,745 --> 00:15:13,112
you got a chance to get the
girl and get away clean.
385
00:15:13,182 --> 00:15:15,386
- Okay. Let's do this.
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:15:15,455 --> 00:15:18,651
The ultimate showdown:
creator versus creation.
387
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,012
Mind versus body.
388
00:15:20,081 --> 00:15:22,690
Superior intellect versus
hulking physical strength.
389
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:24,057
Yes. Yes to all of those things.
390
00:15:24,126 --> 00:15:25,301
Now, go get Holly.
391
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:26,559
Go, go.
392
00:15:27,365 --> 00:15:29,319
So, what's up, guys?
393
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:31,831
Hmm?
394
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,566
I can't believe that
little troll hired somebody
395
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:35,754
- to play Marcus.
- Yeah.
396
00:15:35,823 --> 00:15:38,182
As if no one would notice a
completely different black guy.
397
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:41,612
Oh, yeah,
Chip is very racist, yeah.
398
00:15:41,681 --> 00:15:42,684
You know,
399
00:15:42,753 --> 00:15:44,495
- you need to turn up the heat.
- How?
400
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:46,331
Every time I get him against the ropes,
he finds a way
401
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:47,895
to wiggle his stupid little body out.
402
00:15:47,964 --> 00:15:49,300
Well, by, uh...
403
00:15:49,369 --> 00:15:52,940
Ooh. By pushing fake Marcus
and Holly closer together.
404
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:54,824
- Damn. I like that.
- Yeah.
405
00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:56,618
- Mm-hmm.
- You're pretty good at this, Alba.
406
00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:57,956
Mm, well, I try.
407
00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:01,386
Marcus, was it?
You said you're a tattoo artist?
408
00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:03,613
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm an artist first and foremost,
409
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:06,386
but I do like tattoos.
410
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:07,560
Yeah.
411
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:11,802
This one, I, uh,
I got it when my grandma died.
412
00:16:12,114 --> 00:16:13,189
Oh.
413
00:16:13,256 --> 00:16:14,389
- Yeah.
- Holly.
414
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:16,554
Uh... I'm sorr... weren't you saying
that you wanted a tattoo?
415
00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:20,177
Oh, I don't know. I really want one,
I just wouldn't know where to put it.
416
00:16:20,244 --> 00:16:22,007
Oh, well, I'm sure
Marcus could show you where
417
00:16:22,075 --> 00:16:24,274
- to put it. I mean...
- Oh, yeah. Most definitely.
418
00:16:24,341 --> 00:16:26,143
Why don't you two just go up
to my room and, you know,
419
00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:28,036
do a little free consultation
or whatever?
420
00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:29,725
Yeah. No.
421
00:16:29,794 --> 00:16:31,304
Or we could, you know,
keep down here.
422
00:16:31,372 --> 00:16:32,787
Keep rapping
on the current events.
423
00:16:32,856 --> 00:16:34,029
Yeah, no, I'm straight.
424
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,364
Let's roll, Holly.
425
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,784
Holly, wait.
426
00:16:40,185 --> 00:16:41,622
That's not the real Marcus.
427
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:42,964
I'm the real Marcus.
428
00:16:43,031 --> 00:16:45,943
- What?
- Marcus Lella of Ink Well Boston.
429
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,286
I built an online persona
to get closer to you.
430
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:49,513
What are you talking about?
431
00:16:49,615 --> 00:16:51,311
It wasn't Marcus who commented
432
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,272
on your bikini pics,
saying "Get it, girl."
433
00:16:53,341 --> 00:16:54,915
Marcus didn't DM you, uh,
434
00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:57,380
well wishes after you had
your wisdom teeth pulled out.
435
00:16:57,447 --> 00:16:59,787
I did. Now, listen, I know I'm not
436
00:16:59,854 --> 00:17:02,657
nearly as big and black as he is,
but I promise you,
437
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:05,845
if you just give me a chance,
I promise I can make you happy.
438
00:17:06,749 --> 00:17:08,725
You're Marcus?
439
00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:11,392
It's hilarious, right?
440
00:17:11,608 --> 00:17:14,302
I've been trying to smoke this
little perv out for weeks.
441
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,552
Finally got him.
442
00:17:15,621 --> 00:17:17,358
Wait. You knew about this?
443
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,006
And you were just gonna
let me hook up with...
444
00:17:19,074 --> 00:17:20,074
Trey.
445
00:17:20,153 --> 00:17:21,736
Yeah, my real name's Trey.
446
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:23,099
Oh, my God.
447
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:25,798
Both of you,
stay the hell away from me.
448
00:17:32,105 --> 00:17:33,919
- Did you get it?
- No.
449
00:17:34,075 --> 00:17:35,521
Should I try pulling you in again?
450
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:37,536
No, nope. That ship has sailed.
451
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:39,093
I had to take my bottoms
off to beat the heat.
452
00:17:39,161 --> 00:17:40,755
Look, it's all you, now, okay?
453
00:17:40,822 --> 00:17:42,781
So take a deep breath and focus.
454
00:17:43,449 --> 00:17:45,505
Oh, no...
455
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,482
- Oh! I got something.
- You did?
456
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:48,693
Reel it in.
457
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,476
I can't, it's stuck.
458
00:17:50,545 --> 00:17:51,757
Pull harder, Ben.
459
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:58,456
What's happening? Are we moving?
460
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,708
- Yep.
- Oh, God, no, that's not good.
461
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,935
All right, okay, don't panic.
462
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,872
Just cross your fingers and
hope we slam into something.
463
00:18:11,016 --> 00:18:14,392
- Whee! We're flying!
- Yeah, what's going on behind us, buddy?
464
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,117
Can you give me the play-by-play?
465
00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:20,031
Uh, there's a big open field,
and stuff's going by real fast.
466
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,740
Uh, how fast?
'Cause it feels pretty fast.
467
00:18:21,813 --> 00:18:24,304
- Um, really fast.
- Are we headed towards anything?
468
00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:26,713
- There's some grass.
- Oh, that's... grass is good.
469
00:18:26,782 --> 00:18:28,584
- Gra... I love grass.
- And some flowers.
470
00:18:28,653 --> 00:18:30,221
Flowers are beautiful.
No problem.
471
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:33,117
- And a big old pond.
- No, no, no. No ponds.
472
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,739
- Oh, my God, we're alive!
- We're alive!
473
00:18:42,807 --> 00:18:44,123
We're okay! Are you all right?
474
00:18:44,192 --> 00:18:45,260
I'm great, that was fun.
475
00:18:45,327 --> 00:18:46,935
Yeah, yeah. Super fun.
476
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,002
Oh, wow, though...
477
00:18:48,069 --> 00:18:49,900
water's really filling up back here.
478
00:18:50,138 --> 00:18:51,908
It feels...
it feels really good, actually.
479
00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,275
Something touched my leg.
480
00:18:53,346 --> 00:18:54,408
Now, get off me!
481
00:18:54,491 --> 00:18:55,587
Look, the phone!
482
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:56,759
The phone!
483
00:18:56,828 --> 00:18:57,872
I did it!
484
00:18:57,948 --> 00:18:59,189
I saved us again.
485
00:18:59,274 --> 00:19:00,705
- Should I call 911?
- Yes!
486
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:01,846
Get it.
487
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:04,858
Okay.
488
00:19:04,927 --> 00:19:06,686
911. What's your emergency?
489
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,819
Send help. I-I'm mostly nude
in the back of a cop car
490
00:19:09,888 --> 00:19:11,998
about to drown with a young boy.
491
00:19:12,748 --> 00:19:15,370
Well, I have to hand it to you,
you didn't go down easy.
492
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,260
Where the hell
did you find that guy?
493
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,487
I didn't. Alba did.
494
00:19:19,895 --> 00:19:21,340
What?
495
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:22,987
Alba, you told me that Chip hired him.
496
00:19:23,056 --> 00:19:24,799
- Yeah, you, uh...
- Hold on.
497
00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,511
Why are you even speaking to her?
498
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,236
You were supposed to be
working for me.
499
00:19:28,303 --> 00:19:29,885
I was. I-I mean, I am.
500
00:19:29,954 --> 00:19:31,721
- Uh, I just, uh...
- Alba.
501
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:34,010
What is going on?
Why did you do all of this?
502
00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:37,779
Uh, well, it was hot, I was bored.
503
00:19:37,846 --> 00:19:39,557
I like drama. Hmm.
504
00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:43,312
Mickey?
505
00:19:43,853 --> 00:19:44,853
Whoa.
506
00:19:44,948 --> 00:19:46,471
How was the real world?
507
00:19:48,659 --> 00:19:50,838
It was, um, it was great.
508
00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:52,440
Thanks for asking.
509
00:19:52,749 --> 00:19:54,651
Are you wearing a grocery bag?
510
00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:56,256
Mickey lost her pants in the pond.
511
00:19:56,339 --> 00:19:58,534
Okay. Let's not gossip.
512
00:20:02,065 --> 00:20:03,299
Huh.
513
00:20:08,994 --> 00:20:11,011
Come on. No way.
514
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,686
You get Pearl Jam 24/7 on this thing?
515
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,657
It's just satellite radio, man.
516
00:20:15,938 --> 00:20:17,166
You can get that in any car.
517
00:20:17,235 --> 00:20:18,286
Yeah, not my car.
518
00:20:18,353 --> 00:20:20,256
Hey, can you get porn on this screen?
519
00:20:20,617 --> 00:20:21,725
I don't know.
520
00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:23,322
Hey, computer, play porn.
521
00:20:23,391 --> 00:20:25,193
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch that.
522
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,365
Porn. Whatever you got.
523
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,709
Amateur, point of view, Asian...
524
00:20:29,778 --> 00:20:31,357
No, no, could you not...?
525
00:20:31,576 --> 00:20:33,170
I've got kids, so...
526
00:20:33,351 --> 00:20:35,701
All right, well, that's fine,
I got kids, too.
527
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,452
It doesn't mean we can't
watch a little porn together.
528
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,740
- Relax.
- Y-You know, I think
529
00:20:38,809 --> 00:20:40,116
it's pretty close to where you said.
530
00:20:40,184 --> 00:20:41,241
Does this look right to you?
531
00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:42,662
Oh, yeah, yeah. This is good.
532
00:20:42,731 --> 00:20:43,900
- This is really good.
- Oh, okay.
533
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:46,358
I should get out here, too,
because I don't want her
534
00:20:46,427 --> 00:20:48,107
to see me in a car like
this with a guy like you.
535
00:20:48,175 --> 00:20:51,123
Yeah, but I'll tell you what:
536
00:20:51,644 --> 00:20:53,421
thanks for the ride, Morpheus.
537
00:20:53,490 --> 00:20:55,427
- Oh.
- Good luck in the future...
538
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:03,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
539
00:21:07,735 --> 00:21:08,868
Mickey?!
540
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,779
Ben?!
541
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,873
Anybody?!
542
00:21:18,606 --> 00:21:20,089
This could be it.
543
00:21:22,123 --> 00:21:23,858
I save lives!
543
00:21:24,305 --> 00:21:30,460
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