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1
00:00:07,567 --> 00:00:08,660
You missed it, didn't ya?
2
00:00:08,661 --> 00:00:10,425
You don't know what happened last week.
3
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:11,701
You want me to tell you?
4
00:00:11,702 --> 00:00:12,762
Give me 100 bucks.
5
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,266
Come on, 100 bucks, I'll
tell you what ha...
6
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,380
Okay, 50 bucks! You make a good living!
7
00:00:16,381 --> 00:00:18,852
Give me some fucking money! You
want to know what happened or not?
8
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,848
Well then, fuck you.
I'm not telling you.
9
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,525
It's my goal to get you all safely
across the border into Canada.
10
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,061
- Do you see anybody?
- No, I don't see...
11
00:00:27,062 --> 00:00:29,320
Hello. Wrong side of
the border, boys, eh?
12
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,989
You can find your own
rich dude to control.
13
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,033
I am past my prime whoring years.
14
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,285
Top ten places to look for rich dudes.
15
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,287
Number one, high-end pubs.
16
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,081
We're taking you sugar-daddy shopping.
17
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,874
I saw you took the "For Rent" sign down.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,919
It's about time I got something
of my own for a change.
19
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,630
- You're pretty damn intriguing.
- How intriguing?
20
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,715
There was, uh, an
accident at my building,
21
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,801
one of the roofer guys
fell off the roof.
22
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,136
- Is he okay?
- I think he broke his ankle.
23
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,555
If there's anything
that I can do to help.
24
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,784
Thank you.
25
00:00:57,785 --> 00:00:59,157
What, Youens still?
26
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:01,143
I can't stop picturing him
in an orange jumpsuit
27
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,186
for the rest of his life.
28
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,697
You're a good fucking friend,
but you can't fix everything.
29
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,944
You still on that Bible shit?
30
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:09,195
Yeah, I'm proving to my online
haters that Jesus is a fag hag.
31
00:01:09,709 --> 00:01:11,541
Another gaycorcism's going down.
32
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:12,735
Gotta gather the kids.
33
00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:14,719
- Who are you?
- I'm his girlfriend.
34
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,752
Check this out.
35
00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:17,682
Wow.
36
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:19,231
You're yelling at me right now!
37
00:01:19,232 --> 00:01:20,556
Because you're being crazy!
38
00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:24,120
Yes, I'll marry you! Fucking hell yes!
39
00:01:24,121 --> 00:01:25,258
Oh, my God...
40
00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:39,286
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:47,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
42
00:02:43,235 --> 00:02:45,319
Ah, you're, uh, still at it.
43
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,114
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out where
all the gay-hating churches are.
44
00:02:48,115 --> 00:02:50,074
There's like one in every neighborhood.
45
00:02:50,075 --> 00:02:51,753
Homophobia's back in style.
46
00:02:52,648 --> 00:02:54,080
Not for long.
47
00:02:54,081 --> 00:02:56,092
I've got more kids coming
for a meeting tonight.
48
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,665
- Youens still in jail?
- Yeah.
49
00:02:57,666 --> 00:03:00,460
Yeah, I'm actually gonna go
check on him later today.
50
00:03:00,461 --> 00:03:02,211
Oh.
51
00:03:04,673 --> 00:03:07,467
Hey, they've got a
retirement calculator.
52
00:03:07,468 --> 00:03:09,260
I fucking love the internet.
53
00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:12,889
I'll roll over my 401K from
Lumber Lawn and Lighting.
54
00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:16,642
And then I add my estimated
yearly earnings.
55
00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:19,061
- What are you doing, Frank?
- Planning my retirement.
56
00:03:19,062 --> 00:03:21,272
Time to reflect on my accomplishments
57
00:03:21,273 --> 00:03:24,275
and to bask in the spoils
of a life well-lived.
58
00:03:24,276 --> 00:03:27,092
You mean leech off your kids and
drink booze out of a backpack?
59
00:03:27,093 --> 00:03:29,039
You guys, Farhad found me
60
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,990
a temp job that pays 40 bucks an hour!
61
00:03:30,991 --> 00:03:33,016
- Oh, yeah?
- Some nighttime welding gig.
62
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,519
I don't know, nighttime welding?
Sounds kind of sketchy, Debs.
63
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,705
Took me two weeks to make
300 bucks walking dogs.
64
00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:39,290
I can handle sketchy.
65
00:03:39,291 --> 00:03:42,293
Expenses? Alcohol and
drugs is non-negotiable.
66
00:03:42,294 --> 00:03:44,837
Clothing? Yes, the occasional golf shirt
67
00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:48,060
or swimwear for leisurely
retirement pursuits.
68
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,854
Hola, hola, good morning.
69
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,469
No mortgage...
70
00:03:51,470 --> 00:03:54,627
- Hola, mi cielito. Como estás?
- No rent...
71
00:03:54,628 --> 00:03:58,017
Are you ready to have a nice
day with your abuelita?
72
00:04:01,647 --> 00:04:03,815
I'll change you.
73
00:04:06,652 --> 00:04:09,229
- Good morning, boo.
- Did you make all this?
74
00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:11,162
Yes. For you, bae.
75
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,949
I am going to cook for you every day,
76
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:15,363
and dinner too, and then
blow jobs for dessert.
77
00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:17,370
I'm going to be the best fucking wife.
78
00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:21,582
The age I'd like to retire,
based on my current age?
79
00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:23,918
Well... they're identical, so.
80
00:04:25,323 --> 00:04:26,879
I...
81
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,215
W... this makes no sense.
82
00:04:29,216 --> 00:04:30,839
Let me see.
83
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:32,447
Come on.
84
00:04:33,994 --> 00:04:38,321
All right, you need... 23
grand annually to retire.
85
00:04:38,322 --> 00:04:40,726
And you are short by about...
86
00:04:40,727 --> 00:04:42,436
22 grand.
87
00:04:42,437 --> 00:04:43,688
Sounds right to me.
88
00:04:43,689 --> 00:04:44,581
Oh, fuck that.
89
00:04:44,582 --> 00:04:47,621
I've got engagement presents!
90
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,722
The vibrations will
lift up your follicles
91
00:04:52,723 --> 00:04:55,480
so that the blades cut below your skin.
92
00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:56,643
Thank you.
93
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,440
And a Nintendo 3DS for Liam.
94
00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:00,493
Dope.
95
00:05:00,494 --> 00:05:03,483
And a Zen garden
96
00:05:03,484 --> 00:05:07,343
with a tiny, little sand rake for you.
97
00:05:07,344 --> 00:05:10,365
And, um, a Fitbit for Ian.
98
00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:11,597
Sweet.
99
00:05:11,598 --> 00:05:14,452
And... hot rollers for you.
100
00:05:14,453 --> 00:05:15,648
Cool.
101
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,010
And for you, my sweet, hot bitch...
102
00:05:19,011 --> 00:05:20,333
I found it.
103
00:05:20,334 --> 00:05:21,780
What is it?
104
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:26,243
Is that blood?
105
00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:29,843
- Is that your blood?
- Yeah. It's your blood now.
106
00:05:29,844 --> 00:05:31,761
You possess me, and vice versa.
107
00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:32,833
Here. Come here.
108
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,183
- I'll try not to nick an artery.
- Gross.
109
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,411
- Hi.
- Hi.
110
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:46,651
Nice color.
111
00:05:46,652 --> 00:05:48,865
It's called "Dangerous Robot."
112
00:05:48,866 --> 00:05:51,364
I'm doing the bathroom in Liquid Kitty.
113
00:05:51,365 --> 00:05:53,616
What happened to just "blue"?
114
00:05:53,617 --> 00:05:56,438
Blue... is not badass.
115
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,038
Well, neither is Liquid Kitty,
it sounds like a dyke bar.
116
00:05:59,039 --> 00:06:00,749
Why don't you just paint it "Wet Pussy"?
117
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,987
Benjamin Moore didn't have that one.
118
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,044
It took me forever to choose.
119
00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:07,297
What is my taste, even?
120
00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:08,426
Ghetto chic.
121
00:06:08,427 --> 00:06:10,467
That's by necessity, not choice.
122
00:06:10,468 --> 00:06:11,896
Well, you're asking the wrong gal.
123
00:06:11,897 --> 00:06:13,219
Mel handles this shit.
124
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:16,648
And her style's like...
resort meets brothel.
125
00:06:16,649 --> 00:06:19,058
That's perfect for a nursery.
126
00:06:19,059 --> 00:06:21,019
You guys start picking out cribs?
127
00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:24,091
Crib, singular.
128
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,278
We're down a fetus. I miscarried.
129
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,610
- Oh, shit.
- It's okay.
130
00:06:28,611 --> 00:06:30,320
I mean, yeah, it sucks, but
131
00:06:30,321 --> 00:06:32,282
we hadn't figured we'd
both get pregnant.
132
00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,948
Least now I can drink. Got any beer?
133
00:06:33,949 --> 00:06:37,368
Yeah, go help yourself.
134
00:06:37,369 --> 00:06:38,912
Well, how's Mel taking it?
135
00:06:38,913 --> 00:06:40,734
I haven't told her yet.
136
00:06:41,248 --> 00:06:45,251
Maybe I'll eat smoked salmon
and raw eggs in front of her,
137
00:06:45,252 --> 00:06:46,753
and see if she notices.
138
00:06:51,342 --> 00:06:52,592
"Hey, stranger.
139
00:06:52,593 --> 00:06:54,036
Picking up some chairs for a client.
140
00:06:54,037 --> 00:06:56,596
Wanna join and grab some
furniture for your flat?"
141
00:06:56,597 --> 00:06:57,985
- Is that Ford?
- Mm-hmm.
142
00:06:57,986 --> 00:06:59,942
Say yes. He's like a furniture savant.
143
00:06:59,943 --> 00:07:02,082
So the last time I saw him,
144
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:04,437
we kissed, and then he threw me out.
145
00:07:04,438 --> 00:07:05,866
Well, said he had to work.
146
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:09,192
I have never waited this
long for someone to bang me.
147
00:07:09,193 --> 00:07:12,278
It's kind of fun, weirdly.
148
00:07:12,279 --> 00:07:13,446
For now.
149
00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:15,392
Guy better be an animal in bed.
150
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,486
I wouldn't know.
151
00:07:16,487 --> 00:07:19,202
I closed my eyes and
pictured Scarlett Johansson.
152
00:07:19,203 --> 00:07:20,828
But I've heard glowing accounts.
153
00:07:20,829 --> 00:07:22,816
Well, if I find out before I'm 40,
154
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,708
I'll let you know.
155
00:07:27,711 --> 00:07:29,420
Any bites yet?
156
00:07:29,421 --> 00:07:32,298
Maybe we should change
her profile description.
157
00:07:32,299 --> 00:07:33,675
What does it say now?
158
00:07:33,676 --> 00:07:35,635
"Sassy Russian ex-prostitute
159
00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:37,595
seeks single geriatric male
160
00:07:37,596 --> 00:07:40,390
with piles of money and
a terminal illness."
161
00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:41,589
Subtle.
162
00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:43,837
Guy named Gerald seems interested.
163
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,590
Luxury cigar importer.
164
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,827
Hey, guess what we're doing.
165
00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:51,234
I can find my own rich husband.
166
00:07:51,235 --> 00:07:53,778
We know that you can, but
if a wealthy cigar importer
167
00:07:53,779 --> 00:07:55,613
comes into The Alibi
tonight, it won't kill you
168
00:07:55,614 --> 00:07:57,240
to smile and have a drink.
169
00:07:57,241 --> 00:07:58,811
What is the point of smiling?
170
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,077
Make other people feel good.
171
00:08:01,078 --> 00:08:03,067
I make people feel good other ways.
172
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:04,108
Yes, you do.
173
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,292
But there are some situations where
hand jobs are not appropriate.
174
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:14,911
American mid-century modern.
175
00:08:15,759 --> 00:08:17,677
Mm.
176
00:08:17,678 --> 00:08:19,470
That's cool.
177
00:08:19,471 --> 00:08:23,058
Reference to the Danish
design movement of the 1950s.
178
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,077
Try it.
179
00:08:35,154 --> 00:08:36,529
- It's comfy.
- Mm-hmm.
180
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,961
- Not sure it's me though.
- Says who?
181
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:43,661
You get to choose that.
That's what design is for.
182
00:08:43,662 --> 00:08:45,617
Decide who you want to be.
183
00:08:57,843 --> 00:08:59,720
Thank you.
184
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,933
- What the fuck was that?
- Uh, Greek.
185
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:07,352
I lived in a monastery in
Macedonia for a while.
186
00:09:07,353 --> 00:09:08,811
Of course you did.
187
00:09:08,812 --> 00:09:11,606
And I just scored you a
$2,000 chair for 450,
188
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:12,885
which is insane.
189
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:17,362
I'm not gonna spend $450 on a chair.
190
00:09:17,363 --> 00:09:18,850
It's not a chair.
191
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:21,074
It's an investment in your future self.
192
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,494
How much that building cost you?
193
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,634
It was a lot more than I had.
194
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,819
Why'd you buy it then?
195
00:09:32,503 --> 00:09:33,629
You're good.
196
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,597
- Hi.
- Hi. Inmate's name?
197
00:09:44,598 --> 00:09:46,391
It's, uh, Clyde Youens.
198
00:09:46,392 --> 00:09:50,145
Y-O-U-E-N-S.
199
00:09:55,109 --> 00:09:57,472
I'm sorry, he's deceased.
200
00:10:00,906 --> 00:10:02,102
What?
201
00:10:02,616 --> 00:10:04,963
There was an incident.
He didn't survive.
202
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:09,497
W... when?
203
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,960
Tuesday.
204
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,558
Next of kin was contacted
and the body was claimed.
205
00:10:19,615 --> 00:10:21,134
Next.
206
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,249
- Hi.
- Hey.
207
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,186
Here for Paddy, 4629...
208
00:11:04,344 --> 00:11:07,029
They're kicking him out of
the hospital in the morning.
209
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,309
And how is this my problem, huh?
210
00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:11,184
He fell. I didn't push him.
211
00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:13,179
He worked six hours,
he'll get his 150 bucks
212
00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:15,047
when the job is done and I get paid.
213
00:11:15,048 --> 00:11:16,133
That's how this works.
214
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,299
We're not leaving this spot
until we get out our money.
215
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,526
Whatever!
216
00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:23,416
Sorry to bother you.
217
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,657
Do you mind if my kids
use your bathroom?
218
00:11:30,324 --> 00:11:31,411
Sure.
219
00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:34,583
We love you, Ian!
220
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:35,792
There he is. Look, it's Ian.
221
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,668
- Ian! Ian!
- Can you come to our...
222
00:11:37,669 --> 00:11:40,089
- What's up, guys?
- My boyfriend is gonna flip.
223
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,631
He can't stop talking about you.
224
00:11:41,632 --> 00:11:43,716
Could you, uh, record a message for him?
225
00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:44,873
His name's Nico James.
226
00:11:44,874 --> 00:11:47,011
Mr. Gallagher, hi, I'm Reverend Murphy.
227
00:11:47,012 --> 00:11:48,888
I'm a pastor at Trinity
and Life Evangelical...
228
00:11:48,889 --> 00:11:50,640
Oh, we don't need any more ministers,
229
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:52,306
but if you want to give
money, that'd be cool...
230
00:11:52,307 --> 00:11:53,768
I'm not here for me.
231
00:11:53,769 --> 00:11:55,948
Some folks from my church
wanted to meet you.
232
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,314
This is Alice.
233
00:11:57,315 --> 00:12:00,219
Her parents put her through
conversion therapy twice.
234
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,096
She has something for you.
235
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:04,124
Go on, honey.
236
00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:12,928
Wow.
237
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:14,806
That, uh, tha...
238
00:12:14,807 --> 00:12:17,083
You drew this? Thank you.
239
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,210
Can you, like, heal people?
240
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:20,962
I'm a paramedic, so...
241
00:12:20,963 --> 00:12:22,938
Well, when are you gonna
perform your next miracle?
242
00:12:22,939 --> 00:12:25,675
Oh, no, I don't perform miracles.
243
00:12:25,676 --> 00:12:27,704
Do you... I'm sorry, I
only saw the one video.
244
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,929
- What is your ministry, again?
- I don't have one.
245
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:31,091
I just kind of show up
246
00:12:31,092 --> 00:12:33,516
to these conversion things
and argue with assholes.
247
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,601
I... lead meetings at this youth
center if you guys want...
248
00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:36,978
My boyfriend needs help.
249
00:12:36,979 --> 00:12:38,925
Could you talk to him?
250
00:12:54,329 --> 00:12:57,456
Oh, well, lookee here, Mr. Popularity.
251
00:12:57,457 --> 00:12:59,328
- Mr. Viral Sensation.
- Okay.
252
00:12:59,329 --> 00:13:01,460
Mr. King of the Queens.
253
00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:03,348
Kind of hoping they'll lose interest.
254
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,089
Yeah, well, there's more and
more of them every day.
255
00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:06,410
They're blocking the garage door.
256
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,842
I'm gonna have to park the ambulance
257
00:13:07,843 --> 00:13:09,802
outside by the curb so
I don't accidentally
258
00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:10,845
run somebody over.
259
00:13:10,846 --> 00:13:12,680
What do they even want?
260
00:13:12,681 --> 00:13:13,682
Uh...
261
00:13:14,558 --> 00:13:16,392
Guess they just want to be seen by...
262
00:13:16,393 --> 00:13:18,269
someone who sees 'em back.
263
00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:19,766
Oh, please.
264
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,772
Looks to me like they want
to douse you in syrup
265
00:13:21,773 --> 00:13:24,044
and slurp you up with a spoon.
266
00:13:25,819 --> 00:13:26,987
Could be down for that.
267
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,878
That chair suits you.
268
00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,660
Might be the first time
I bought something
269
00:13:34,661 --> 00:13:36,565
I didn't actually need.
270
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,539
Beautiful, functional everyday objects
271
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:39,957
should be affordable.
272
00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,876
My idea of affordable
is looting the house
273
00:13:41,877 --> 00:13:44,795
of the neighbor who just OD'd
so I don't gotta buy new shit.
274
00:13:44,796 --> 00:13:47,577
I've got an old coffee maker
that needs a loving home.
275
00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:50,676
Ooh. Now you're talking.
276
00:13:50,677 --> 00:13:52,970
Maybe I'll come by your place later?
277
00:13:52,971 --> 00:13:54,805
- Pick it up?
- I got plans tonight.
278
00:13:54,806 --> 00:13:56,057
I'll drop it off tomorrow.
279
00:14:01,521 --> 00:14:02,924
How long have they been in there?
280
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,106
About 20 minutes.
281
00:14:04,107 --> 00:14:05,419
Are they bathing?
282
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,850
I think they might be.
283
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:09,012
Why would they do that?
284
00:14:09,013 --> 00:14:10,863
You think they're homeless?
285
00:14:24,711 --> 00:14:26,532
Jesus, you startled me.
286
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:29,077
I didn't think anybody else had keys.
287
00:14:29,549 --> 00:14:30,925
I'm sorry, who are you?
288
00:14:30,926 --> 00:14:32,872
Oh, I'm Lip. Um.
289
00:14:33,856 --> 00:14:35,149
Phillip Gallagher.
290
00:14:35,973 --> 00:14:37,014
Who are you?
291
00:14:37,015 --> 00:14:38,781
I'm... I'm Tabitha, his daughter.
292
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,686
I... um, are you a student?
293
00:14:41,687 --> 00:14:43,062
No, I was.
294
00:14:43,063 --> 00:14:45,426
I was helping him after the accident.
295
00:14:47,393 --> 00:14:50,014
Accident? I thought he
was arrested for a DUI.
296
00:14:51,613 --> 00:14:54,268
You know what? It's okay. I
don't even want to know.
297
00:14:55,409 --> 00:14:57,688
Jesus Christ, this week.
298
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,331
You... you do know he's dead, right?
299
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,583
What happened?
300
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,115
He had, uh, a seizure.
301
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,309
Alcohol withdrawal. Hit his head.
302
00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:11,894
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
303
00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,009
There's a memorial service tomorrow,
304
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:17,291
and the students are welcome to
say a few words if you like.
305
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,682
Oh, no one told me.
306
00:15:19,683 --> 00:15:21,629
The school said they sent out an email.
307
00:15:21,935 --> 00:15:24,115
I-I-I'm sorry, who are you again?
308
00:15:25,063 --> 00:15:27,523
I picked up your dad... from jail,
309
00:15:27,524 --> 00:15:29,066
after the DUI.
310
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:31,360
I bought him groceries. I...
311
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:32,582
Did he pay you?
312
00:15:33,113 --> 00:15:34,584
No, he didn't pay me.
313
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:39,005
He... covered the cost of my rehab.
314
00:15:39,745 --> 00:15:41,162
And he got me an internship.
315
00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:43,497
He-he tried to convince the
school to revoke my expulsion.
316
00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:45,069
He listened to me. He...
317
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:48,002
listened to me about everything.
318
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,641
Well, glad you were so
well-parented by my dad.
319
00:15:53,925 --> 00:15:55,968
Look, I-I have this covered.
320
00:15:55,969 --> 00:15:57,690
You can leave your key on the way out.
321
00:15:58,816 --> 00:15:59,901
Thanks.
322
00:16:00,348 --> 00:16:01,736
Sure.
323
00:16:17,866 --> 00:16:19,366
Here you are, sir.
324
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,410
On the house.
325
00:16:21,411 --> 00:16:23,496
- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.
326
00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:26,619
Our elders are a precious resource.
327
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,292
Thanks for staying alive.
328
00:16:28,293 --> 00:16:29,906
I'll drink to that.
329
00:16:39,679 --> 00:16:41,750
My, my.
330
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,808
You must be Svetlana.
331
00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:46,630
Wow. What a knockout.
332
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,270
Good evening, ma'am.
333
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,564
May I procure you a cocktail?
334
00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:51,869
Vodka.
335
00:16:52,818 --> 00:16:55,027
Your profile was, uh,
336
00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:57,029
quite provocative.
337
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,366
You were an escort for
a time, weren't you?
338
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,784
Hand whore.
339
00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:03,536
Occasional cocksucking and fucking.
340
00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:04,703
What is your name?
341
00:17:04,704 --> 00:17:07,373
- Gerald.
- "Gerald."
342
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,875
Sounds like bald man
drowning in hot soup.
343
00:17:09,876 --> 00:17:11,043
Huh?
344
00:17:11,044 --> 00:17:13,032
There you are, m'lady.
345
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,214
What would it run me if, uh,
346
00:17:15,215 --> 00:17:17,869
you and I were to take a
walk out to my vehicle
347
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,622
and you were to keep me
company for 30 minutes?
348
00:17:22,848 --> 00:17:24,515
$900,000.
349
00:17:28,562 --> 00:17:30,572
Forty bucks.
350
00:17:31,212 --> 00:17:33,649
And you take off your shoes
so I don't get any...
351
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:35,346
dirt on my seat.
352
00:17:36,069 --> 00:17:37,987
Oh!
353
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,743
Could've gone worse.
354
00:17:44,744 --> 00:17:46,190
Don't know how.
355
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:52,387
It sucks when people use God as
an excuse for their own hatred,
356
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:54,949
and when it's your
family, it's the worst.
357
00:17:55,755 --> 00:17:56,976
Look,
358
00:17:57,966 --> 00:17:59,675
I know you don't want
to hurt your parents,
359
00:17:59,676 --> 00:18:01,938
but sometimes they forget.
360
00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:05,584
God creates us all in his own image.
361
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,600
We gotta jog their memory.
362
00:18:07,601 --> 00:18:10,797
If they believe that God hates
the same people as they do,
363
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,467
well, they're creating
God in their image.
364
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,108
That's right. That's right.
365
00:18:16,109 --> 00:18:19,361
We all have a Holy Spirit.
366
00:18:19,362 --> 00:18:21,825
We're all holy.
367
00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:23,226
We're all divine...
368
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,450
Jesus, listen to that.
369
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,952
Oh, I know. He's like a prophet.
370
00:18:26,953 --> 00:18:28,370
And he's super hot too.
371
00:18:28,371 --> 00:18:30,665
Like hot gay Jesus.
372
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:35,961
"Hot gay Jesus."
373
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,298
Bet we can make money off of that.
374
00:18:39,299 --> 00:18:40,633
How?
375
00:18:40,634 --> 00:18:42,927
Ring the right bell
for the right causes,
376
00:18:42,928 --> 00:18:44,887
the guilt-ridden pry open their wallets.
377
00:18:44,888 --> 00:18:45,888
It's Pavlovian.
378
00:18:45,889 --> 00:18:49,975
Righteousness is very marketable.
379
00:18:49,976 --> 00:18:52,102
What's that all about?
380
00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:54,480
Uh, just a queer religious rebellion
381
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,635
led by your gay brother. No biggie.
382
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,651
We all have the Trinity inside of us.
383
00:18:58,652 --> 00:19:00,319
I'd like to read a
passage from Romans now.
384
00:19:03,591 --> 00:19:05,780
- Who are we hiding from?
- The union workers.
385
00:19:05,781 --> 00:19:07,076
We gotta wait till they
leave for the night.
386
00:19:07,077 --> 00:19:08,730
- How do we get paid?
- Cash.
387
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,704
We meet tomorrow, location TBA,
388
00:19:10,705 --> 00:19:11,941
and they'll text the address.
389
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,583
My God. This is so exciting.
390
00:19:19,756 --> 00:19:21,327
Everybody, let's go, let's go.
391
00:19:27,472 --> 00:19:29,348
OMG. That was amazing.
392
00:19:29,349 --> 00:19:30,766
Your brother is, like, everything.
393
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:32,351
And they all ate my popovers.
394
00:19:32,352 --> 00:19:34,353
God, I am really fucking happy.
395
00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:35,799
- Are you?
- Yeah.
396
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,909
But are you, like, really fucking happy
397
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,191
or are you just, like, meh?
398
00:19:39,192 --> 00:19:40,595
I'm really fuckin' happy.
399
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,014
Yay.
400
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,643
- Hey, what you writing?
- A list.
401
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:47,616
"Swiss Army knife, stun gun,
402
00:19:47,617 --> 00:19:49,979
retractable night stick,"
what-what is this shit?
403
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,287
List for school. Give it back.
404
00:19:51,288 --> 00:19:52,900
Wait, military school?
405
00:19:53,373 --> 00:19:55,124
You said that you weren't going back.
406
00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,709
We're engaged!
407
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:58,544
I never said I wasn't going back.
408
00:19:58,545 --> 00:19:59,962
I've been packing my
duffel bag all week.
409
00:19:59,963 --> 00:20:00,974
Oh, I'm sorry.
410
00:20:00,975 --> 00:20:02,392
I guess I've been just too busy
411
00:20:02,393 --> 00:20:03,827
buying your fuckin' family shit
412
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,718
and-and making a fucking life for us.
413
00:20:05,719 --> 00:20:08,178
Meanwhile, you've just
been shitting all over it.
414
00:20:08,179 --> 00:20:10,598
Why did we even bother getting engaged?
415
00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:13,309
Why did I fucking cut myself for you?
416
00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:15,080
We'll make it work, you'll come visit.
417
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,213
- We'll scout motels.
- Motels?
418
00:20:17,214 --> 00:20:19,231
What am I, a prostitute?
419
00:20:19,232 --> 00:20:21,108
No, I never said that!
420
00:20:21,109 --> 00:20:23,138
You are so full of shit, Carl!
421
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,863
- You don't even love me!
- Of course I love you!
422
00:20:25,864 --> 00:20:27,239
Well, you don't love me enough!
423
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,074
Then how do I prove it to you?
424
00:20:29,075 --> 00:20:30,826
Um, you're not supposed to ask
425
00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:33,329
how you prove to love somebody,
you should just prove it.
426
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:35,191
Well, obviously it's not fuckin' enough.
427
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,540
Uh, yeah, because your real goal is
428
00:20:36,541 --> 00:20:38,279
to go back to military school.
429
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,794
Of course that doesn't make
me think that you love me!
430
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,352
I want you to stay here
431
00:20:56,353 --> 00:20:57,854
and be my husband!
432
00:20:59,022 --> 00:21:00,481
Reverend Murph,
433
00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:01,676
this is my sister Fiona.
434
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,304
- Pleasure.
- Hi.
435
00:21:04,622 --> 00:21:06,612
I'm super impressed, dude.
436
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:07,932
The only way I can get that many people
437
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,366
is if I offer free pizza.
438
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,451
No, it's just 'cause of that video.
439
00:21:12,452 --> 00:21:15,079
No. You got something, man.
440
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,622
Bunch of folks who couldn't make it
441
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,207
already messaged me about the next one.
442
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,084
Oh, I definitely can't
fit more people in here
443
00:21:20,085 --> 00:21:21,315
than I did tonight.
444
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:23,629
Would you feel weird about
using our parish hall?
445
00:21:24,473 --> 00:21:25,839
No pressure.
446
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,452
Just shoot me a text when you decide,
447
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,996
I'll send you the address.
448
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:32,263
Thanks for the beer.
449
00:21:38,395 --> 00:21:39,657
How's the new place?
450
00:21:41,189 --> 00:21:43,677
Small. Quiet.
451
00:21:44,161 --> 00:21:45,930
- I bought a chair.
- Oh.
452
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:49,571
Your, uh, fellowship thing
453
00:21:49,572 --> 00:21:51,877
seems to be doing well.
454
00:21:52,409 --> 00:21:54,451
First Gallagher to become
famous for something
455
00:21:54,452 --> 00:21:56,328
other than larceny or assault.
456
00:21:56,329 --> 00:21:57,775
Ha, yeah.
457
00:21:58,623 --> 00:21:59,777
It's, uh...
458
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,655
it's getting pretty out of hand.
459
00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:05,170
I got people showing up at my home,
460
00:22:05,171 --> 00:22:08,257
church place, work.
461
00:22:08,258 --> 00:22:10,426
I had to shut down my Facebook page.
462
00:22:10,427 --> 00:22:12,803
So why not quit if you hate it so much?
463
00:22:12,804 --> 00:22:14,024
I don't.
464
00:22:14,848 --> 00:22:18,350
Just... trying to manage it.
465
00:22:18,351 --> 00:22:21,339
She's back to flipping out
again about military school.
466
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,051
Says I can't go 'cause we're engaged.
467
00:22:24,607 --> 00:22:26,177
Wait, you're actually engaged?
468
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,597
- I thought that was a joke.
- Don't marry her.
469
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,369
I can't lose her.
470
00:22:30,370 --> 00:22:31,864
She's fun, hot,
471
00:22:31,865 --> 00:22:33,198
rich, hot.
472
00:22:33,199 --> 00:22:34,389
She loves me.
473
00:22:34,390 --> 00:22:35,868
No one's ever loved me this hard.
474
00:22:35,869 --> 00:22:37,527
Do not marry her, okay?
475
00:22:37,528 --> 00:22:39,567
She is a fucking psycho.
476
00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:41,874
Marry her.
477
00:22:41,875 --> 00:22:44,334
Hear me and heed me.
478
00:22:44,335 --> 00:22:49,242
Do not let that frothing piece
of lady meat out of your sight.
479
00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:50,966
She has a trust fund.
480
00:22:50,967 --> 00:22:52,087
Get joint checking.
481
00:22:52,088 --> 00:22:55,637
And whatever you do,
do not sign a prenup.
482
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,681
Hey.
483
00:22:57,682 --> 00:22:59,724
It's Gay Jesus.
484
00:23:01,394 --> 00:23:03,147
Can I have this?
485
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,001
Hey! Scabs!
486
00:23:27,337 --> 00:23:28,921
- Go, go!
- Fuckin' run!
487
00:23:28,922 --> 00:23:30,346
- Oh, fuck!
- Get back here!
488
00:23:30,347 --> 00:23:31,936
Debbie! Debbie, run!
489
00:23:34,010 --> 00:23:35,928
Come here, you motherfucker!
490
00:24:45,972 --> 00:24:47,207
Hey!
491
00:24:47,208 --> 00:24:48,704
How ya feeling?
492
00:24:48,705 --> 00:24:49,918
Like shit.
493
00:24:49,919 --> 00:24:51,323
Sorry to hear that.
494
00:24:52,672 --> 00:24:54,423
Your boss emailed me.
495
00:24:54,424 --> 00:24:56,805
He finished the job, sent me an invoice.
496
00:24:56,806 --> 00:24:59,344
Probably want to track him
down so you can get paid.
497
00:24:59,345 --> 00:25:01,002
Thanks for the heads up.
498
00:25:07,937 --> 00:25:10,916
Okay. You did really well last night.
499
00:25:10,917 --> 00:25:13,775
However, we need to tone
down the rage a little.
500
00:25:13,776 --> 00:25:15,694
You're not gonna get
anywhere if your date thinks
501
00:25:15,695 --> 00:25:18,155
you want to murder him the
second he ties the knot.
502
00:25:18,156 --> 00:25:20,032
- What if I do?
- Great question.
503
00:25:20,033 --> 00:25:24,161
Which brings us to Part A
of our plan, etiquette.
504
00:25:26,372 --> 00:25:29,318
Rich guys are old school.
505
00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:31,710
They want a lady to be a lady.
506
00:25:31,711 --> 00:25:33,962
A man wants to feel powerful.
507
00:25:33,963 --> 00:25:35,339
Really powerful.
508
00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:37,257
So let him dominate the conversation.
509
00:25:37,258 --> 00:25:39,593
Act like he's totally fascinating.
510
00:25:39,594 --> 00:25:41,053
I cannot do this.
511
00:25:41,054 --> 00:25:42,874
Okay, this brings us
to Part B of our plan.
512
00:25:45,725 --> 00:25:49,019
This is a tiny microphone.
Attach it to your shirt.
513
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:56,944
This is a tiny earpiece.
Put this in your ear.
514
00:25:56,945 --> 00:25:59,237
Oh, come on, Svet. You're Russian.
515
00:25:59,238 --> 00:26:01,406
This is spy shit. It's in your DNA.
516
00:26:05,328 --> 00:26:07,746
Testing, testing. Can you hear me?
517
00:26:07,747 --> 00:26:09,039
You are right there.
518
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,792
I meant in the thingy.
519
00:26:14,170 --> 00:26:15,003
Can you hear me?
520
00:26:15,004 --> 00:26:16,546
Yes.
521
00:26:16,547 --> 00:26:18,230
Okay. Do everything I say.
522
00:26:18,231 --> 00:26:19,544
Scratch your nose.
523
00:26:21,149 --> 00:26:23,290
Tuck your hair behind your ear.
524
00:26:24,767 --> 00:26:25,953
Excellent.
525
00:26:26,695 --> 00:26:28,570
Say, "Kevin Ball has a sexy voice."
526
00:26:29,018 --> 00:26:30,431
Why should I lie?
527
00:26:31,112 --> 00:26:32,282
Say it.
528
00:26:33,815 --> 00:26:36,274
Kevin Ball has a sexy voice.
529
00:26:36,275 --> 00:26:37,735
Mmm.
530
00:26:41,114 --> 00:26:43,135
What the fuck was that last night?
531
00:26:43,136 --> 00:26:44,908
I never said it was risk-free.
532
00:26:44,909 --> 00:26:46,368
You also never said
533
00:26:46,369 --> 00:26:48,161
we'd be running for our lives.
534
00:26:48,162 --> 00:26:50,355
Why'd they hire us instead
of hiring their own guys?
535
00:26:50,356 --> 00:26:51,581
Scabs are non-union.
536
00:26:51,582 --> 00:26:54,543
Union guys get overtime,
pension, health.
537
00:26:54,544 --> 00:26:57,202
So we're screwing over a union
we want to join someday?
538
00:26:57,203 --> 00:26:59,302
If we don't take the
work, someone else will.
539
00:26:59,303 --> 00:27:00,882
It's wrong and it's dangerous.
540
00:27:00,883 --> 00:27:02,262
I'm never being a scab again.
541
00:27:05,013 --> 00:27:07,014
Hey, just got a tip for another gig.
542
00:27:07,015 --> 00:27:08,324
Pays even more.
543
00:27:09,944 --> 00:27:11,317
Five hundred.
544
00:27:12,512 --> 00:27:13,645
I'm in.
545
00:27:22,723 --> 00:27:24,043
Hi.
546
00:27:24,949 --> 00:27:26,491
What you got there?
547
00:27:26,492 --> 00:27:28,827
Free appliance.
548
00:27:28,828 --> 00:27:30,829
Works great if you're patient.
549
00:27:30,830 --> 00:27:32,873
Is that a shitty, old percolator?
550
00:27:32,874 --> 00:27:34,916
It's Italian. It's art.
551
00:27:37,378 --> 00:27:38,795
Hey.
552
00:27:38,796 --> 00:27:40,839
What are you guys still doing here?
553
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,392
We can't leave.
554
00:27:42,393 --> 00:27:44,412
Rodney won't fit in
the car with his leg.
555
00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:47,569
Plus, our AC is busted.
556
00:27:47,570 --> 00:27:49,014
You know anybody with an SUV?
557
00:27:49,015 --> 00:27:51,027
Or I can take you somewhere.
Where you headed?
558
00:27:54,854 --> 00:27:57,105
Is there, uh, some
family you can stay with
559
00:27:57,106 --> 00:27:58,723
or maybe an old neighbor?
560
00:27:58,724 --> 00:28:00,877
Oh, we've been looking
into some charity housing,
561
00:28:00,878 --> 00:28:02,643
but they all have a wait list.
562
00:28:02,644 --> 00:28:04,797
I know someone who works
with local shelters.
563
00:28:04,798 --> 00:28:07,532
I can ask him if he maybe knows
a place that could take you.
564
00:28:07,533 --> 00:28:10,189
- Wow, you'd do that?
- Sure.
565
00:28:34,239 --> 00:28:36,491
- Hey.
- What the fuck?
566
00:28:36,492 --> 00:28:37,854
Hey, baby.
567
00:28:37,855 --> 00:28:39,651
You cut up all my uniforms?
568
00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:41,456
Well, I weighed out the pros and cons,
569
00:28:41,457 --> 00:28:43,207
and I made a decision for our family.
570
00:28:43,208 --> 00:28:44,933
I think that it's better for everyone
571
00:28:44,934 --> 00:28:46,446
that you don't go back to school.
572
00:28:46,447 --> 00:28:48,406
We have a wedding to plan.
573
00:28:48,407 --> 00:28:49,695
Kassidi.
574
00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:51,201
Don't say my name like that.
575
00:28:51,202 --> 00:28:53,411
- Kassidi...
- Do not
576
00:28:53,412 --> 00:28:55,330
say my name like that, I mean it, Carl.
577
00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:57,494
Kassidi, this is not a joke!
578
00:28:57,495 --> 00:28:59,751
I am going back to military school.
579
00:28:59,752 --> 00:29:01,294
I hate you!
580
00:29:01,295 --> 00:29:03,338
Hey!
581
00:29:03,339 --> 00:29:04,881
Fuck. Wait!
582
00:29:04,882 --> 00:29:06,628
You can't leave me! I'll die!
583
00:29:06,629 --> 00:29:08,510
Hey, what the fuck!
You're not gonna die!
584
00:29:08,511 --> 00:29:10,095
We're gonna see each
other like once a week!
585
00:29:10,096 --> 00:29:11,753
- I can't!
- Open up the door!
586
00:29:11,754 --> 00:29:13,515
- I need you!
- What the fuck? You kidding me?
587
00:29:13,516 --> 00:29:14,933
This engagement is bullshit!
588
00:29:14,934 --> 00:29:16,269
What? What the fuck?
589
00:29:16,270 --> 00:29:18,186
I paid like 100 bucks for that!
590
00:29:18,187 --> 00:29:19,400
- Fuck you!
- Come on!
591
00:29:19,401 --> 00:29:20,453
Fuck you! Fuck you!
592
00:29:20,454 --> 00:29:23,845
Oh, my God! What do you want me to do?
593
00:29:24,538 --> 00:29:26,778
Marry me before you leave, dumb-ass.
594
00:29:26,779 --> 00:29:27,941
You love me, right?
595
00:29:27,942 --> 00:29:29,781
Then what's the point in waiting?
596
00:29:29,782 --> 00:29:31,353
Okay, fine.
597
00:29:32,034 --> 00:29:34,035
- Today?
- Yeah, sure.
598
00:29:37,665 --> 00:29:39,624
But... do you have a fake ID?
599
00:29:39,625 --> 00:29:41,501
Yeah.-
600
00:29:47,091 --> 00:29:48,758
- Hey.
- Hey.
601
00:29:48,759 --> 00:29:50,135
Where's Ian?
602
00:29:50,136 --> 00:29:51,845
I don't know. I haven't seen him.
603
00:29:51,846 --> 00:29:53,513
Fuck.
604
00:29:53,514 --> 00:29:55,877
He was supposed to be here like
an hour ago to help set up.
605
00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:58,226
Doing this thing about careers
in emergency services
606
00:29:58,227 --> 00:29:59,695
for our Life Skills program.
607
00:29:59,696 --> 00:30:02,022
Shit-ton of people signed
because of him, but...
608
00:30:02,942 --> 00:30:05,442
whatever. What's up?
609
00:30:05,443 --> 00:30:06,985
Uh, one of the guys
610
00:30:06,986 --> 00:30:08,573
who was working on my roof got hurt.
611
00:30:08,574 --> 00:30:10,690
He's gonna be out of
work for a few months,
612
00:30:10,691 --> 00:30:12,991
and his family's living out of a car.
613
00:30:12,992 --> 00:30:14,467
I was wondering if you might know any
614
00:30:14,468 --> 00:30:16,113
family shelters that could take him?
615
00:30:16,614 --> 00:30:19,165
Um, I might, actually. Follow me.
616
00:30:22,335 --> 00:30:24,961
So, uh, what's your
take on this whole, uh,
617
00:30:24,962 --> 00:30:27,159
Ian ambushing all those ministers?
618
00:30:28,006 --> 00:30:31,968
Uh, not really sure what to make of it.
619
00:30:31,969 --> 00:30:32,969
Ah, yeah.
620
00:30:32,970 --> 00:30:35,430
I mean, part of me is psyched
621
00:30:35,431 --> 00:30:37,140
that he's helping people, but
622
00:30:37,141 --> 00:30:39,351
another part is, I don't know,
623
00:30:39,352 --> 00:30:41,686
kind of bummed that I have to
crowbar my way into his life
624
00:30:41,687 --> 00:30:42,876
if I want to see him.
625
00:30:43,773 --> 00:30:45,690
Oh.
626
00:30:45,691 --> 00:30:47,567
This place is decent.
627
00:30:47,568 --> 00:30:49,307
I'll call over and get
everything squared away
628
00:30:49,308 --> 00:30:50,395
and let you know.
629
00:30:50,396 --> 00:30:51,529
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
630
00:30:51,530 --> 00:30:53,365
And, hey, if you see Ian, please...
631
00:30:53,366 --> 00:30:54,372
- Yes.
- Thank you.
632
00:30:54,373 --> 00:30:55,453
Will do.
633
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:57,244
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
634
00:31:03,376 --> 00:31:05,543
The fuck is this, Frank?
635
00:31:05,544 --> 00:31:08,046
Son, I don't think I've articulated
636
00:31:08,047 --> 00:31:10,966
how impressed I am with
your recent endeavors.
637
00:31:10,967 --> 00:31:13,051
I knew you were talented, but, uh...
638
00:31:13,052 --> 00:31:15,971
"The Church of Gay Jesus."
Is this a jumbo shirt?
639
00:31:15,972 --> 00:31:17,389
To reach the masses,
640
00:31:17,390 --> 00:31:19,683
you've got to embrace merchandising
641
00:31:19,684 --> 00:31:21,786
to take your brand to the next level.
642
00:31:21,787 --> 00:31:25,383
Uh, how about T-shirts proudly
displaying your message?
643
00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:27,399
Well, I-I don't have a church.
644
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,733
And I'm not fuckin' Jesus.
645
00:31:28,734 --> 00:31:30,623
Tongue in cheek, son.
646
00:31:30,624 --> 00:31:34,197
When you repurpose a-an iconic logo
647
00:31:34,198 --> 00:31:36,018
for the-the sake of kitsch,
648
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:40,245
you present an ironic critique
of American consumerism.
649
00:31:40,246 --> 00:31:42,163
And if that logo
650
00:31:42,164 --> 00:31:44,416
just happens to resemble a...
651
00:31:44,417 --> 00:31:46,334
giant, throbbing penis,
652
00:31:46,335 --> 00:31:48,044
what could be more counterculture?
653
00:31:48,045 --> 00:31:51,006
It looks like a hot dog.
And the lettering sucks.
654
00:31:51,007 --> 00:31:54,453
Revolutions don't come
wrapped in a cute ribbon.
655
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,720
You want to bring down power structures?
656
00:31:56,721 --> 00:31:58,582
You want to get in the face of people
657
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,751
who are peddling corroded ideals?
658
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:04,436
You need a uniform that
screams authenticity.
659
00:32:04,437 --> 00:32:06,938
We didn't pay Chinese factory orphans
660
00:32:06,939 --> 00:32:08,862
three cents an hour to make these.
661
00:32:08,863 --> 00:32:11,109
No, this is our living room.
662
00:32:11,110 --> 00:32:12,944
Our hands. Our sweat.
663
00:32:12,945 --> 00:32:14,612
Talk about grassroots.
664
00:32:16,449 --> 00:32:19,420
I have a meeting tonight at
Trinity and Life Evangelical.
665
00:32:19,421 --> 00:32:21,286
You can hawk your shit there, but
666
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:23,813
everything you make has
to go to Trevor's kids.
667
00:32:23,814 --> 00:32:26,386
Oh, come on! This is my retirement fund.
668
00:32:28,002 --> 00:32:29,281
Twenty percent.
669
00:32:29,795 --> 00:32:30,991
Thirty?
670
00:32:31,756 --> 00:32:35,051
Okay, 95 percent, and we
appreciate your business.
671
00:32:36,510 --> 00:32:40,013
And this has been a rough few years.
672
00:32:41,307 --> 00:32:43,428
Needless to say, it
hasn't been that easy
673
00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:44,809
being around my dad.
674
00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:46,561
But my favorite memory of him
675
00:32:46,562 --> 00:32:48,229
is this thing that he would do.
676
00:32:48,230 --> 00:32:50,687
So he would be in his office,
677
00:32:50,688 --> 00:32:55,111
hunched over paperwork, and I'd knock.
678
00:32:55,112 --> 00:32:57,125
And he'd look up, confused.
679
00:32:58,157 --> 00:32:59,824
And then, boom.
680
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:04,287
It's the... the biggest, warmest smile.
681
00:33:04,288 --> 00:33:07,199
That is the version of my dad
that I'm going to remember.
682
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,210
And I'm grateful for every moment
683
00:33:10,211 --> 00:33:11,655
that I had with him
684
00:33:12,486 --> 00:33:13,963
when he was just him.
685
00:33:15,841 --> 00:33:19,260
You hear about these professors
who go the extra mile
686
00:33:19,261 --> 00:33:20,607
to help a student.
687
00:33:21,617 --> 00:33:24,630
But what Youens did for me
went above and beyond that.
688
00:33:25,351 --> 00:33:26,935
Got me my first real job.
689
00:33:26,936 --> 00:33:28,965
Listened to me bitch about my family.
690
00:33:29,688 --> 00:33:30,772
He was there for me.
691
00:33:30,773 --> 00:33:32,190
He got me internships,
692
00:33:32,191 --> 00:33:35,137
wrote dozens of letters
of recommendation,
693
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:37,862
personally called the
dean at Carnegie Mellon
694
00:33:37,863 --> 00:33:40,198
to get me into the
robotics doctoral program.
695
00:33:40,199 --> 00:33:43,201
Told me once, he wished
he'd been a poet.
696
00:33:43,202 --> 00:33:46,037
And he showed me something he'd written.
697
00:33:46,038 --> 00:33:48,581
Said I was the only person
698
00:33:48,582 --> 00:33:50,399
he trusted enough to show.
699
00:33:51,837 --> 00:33:54,462
That poem was awful.
700
00:33:54,463 --> 00:33:56,641
And no matter how busy he was,
701
00:33:56,642 --> 00:33:59,384
Youens always made time to talk to me.
702
00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:01,797
He helped me with whatever I needed,
703
00:34:01,798 --> 00:34:06,182
listen, offer advice, wise counsel.
704
00:34:06,183 --> 00:34:08,200
Day or night, it didn't matter,
705
00:34:08,201 --> 00:34:10,937
when you called or knocked on his door,
706
00:34:10,938 --> 00:34:12,576
he always answered.
707
00:34:14,441 --> 00:34:15,579
Always.
708
00:34:18,070 --> 00:34:19,683
He was like a father to me.
709
00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:23,916
I honestly don't know where
I'd be without him today.
710
00:34:26,036 --> 00:34:29,248
He invested his time and
energy to make sure
711
00:34:29,249 --> 00:34:31,107
I didn't become a total fuck-up.
712
00:34:31,660 --> 00:34:32,959
He didn't have to.
713
00:34:34,420 --> 00:34:36,045
I'm still not sure why he did.
714
00:34:36,977 --> 00:34:40,258
Okay. My friend found you a place.
715
00:34:40,259 --> 00:34:41,759
It's a family shelter.
716
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,261
They'll have a room for you in two days.
717
00:34:43,262 --> 00:34:45,722
Girls, we've got a place to live.
718
00:34:45,723 --> 00:34:48,725
They can take us in two days, you said?
719
00:34:48,726 --> 00:34:50,351
Mm-hmm.
720
00:34:50,352 --> 00:34:53,408
Oh, we've got the tarp
if it rains again.
721
00:35:02,156 --> 00:35:04,240
Why don't you just stay
here for two nights?
722
00:35:04,241 --> 00:35:05,950
Really?
723
00:35:05,951 --> 00:35:08,328
Yeah. Not a problem.
724
00:35:08,329 --> 00:35:10,455
I'll just, uh, I'll
crash at my old place.
725
00:35:10,456 --> 00:35:12,790
Oh, my God, Fiona.
726
00:35:12,791 --> 00:35:15,959
Thank you. You're a lifesaver.
727
00:35:19,131 --> 00:35:22,550
We should go get a blanket
and a bottle of champagne,
728
00:35:22,551 --> 00:35:25,626
go in the park, and lay in
the grass as man and wife,
729
00:35:25,627 --> 00:35:28,640
and let the moon and the
stars bless our union.
730
00:35:32,311 --> 00:35:33,811
Cute!
731
00:35:33,812 --> 00:35:36,124
Now serving, 103.
732
00:35:36,125 --> 00:35:37,370
Oh!
733
00:35:37,371 --> 00:35:38,733
Yay! That's us.
734
00:35:38,734 --> 00:35:40,443
Okay, come on.
735
00:35:46,492 --> 00:35:48,674
All set.
736
00:35:48,675 --> 00:35:53,164
Your marriage license is valid
for 60 days in Cook County only.
737
00:35:53,165 --> 00:35:54,903
There's a one-day waiting period
738
00:35:54,904 --> 00:35:56,631
before the license becomes effective.
739
00:35:56,632 --> 00:35:59,221
Wait. So we can't get married today?
740
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,061
You can get married at
this exact time tomorrow.
741
00:36:03,127 --> 00:36:05,677
What the fuck? This sucks.
742
00:36:15,156 --> 00:36:17,324
I look like a fucking First Lady.
743
00:36:17,731 --> 00:36:18,815
Here.
744
00:36:18,816 --> 00:36:19,941
Go cross your legs
745
00:36:19,942 --> 00:36:22,163
and pretend to be captivated.
746
00:36:25,708 --> 00:36:27,365
Smokey to Bobcat.
747
00:36:27,366 --> 00:36:29,015
Do you hear me? Over.
748
00:36:30,411 --> 00:36:32,009
What are you guys up to?
749
00:36:32,010 --> 00:36:35,127
We're trying to get Svetlana
married off to a rich dude.
750
00:36:35,128 --> 00:36:36,540
So...
751
00:36:36,541 --> 00:36:38,711
you just gave 'em your
place, just like that?
752
00:36:38,712 --> 00:36:40,951
What else was I supposed to do?
753
00:36:41,637 --> 00:36:44,048
Man, I was really digging
my quiet mornings
754
00:36:44,049 --> 00:36:46,009
away from Gallagher chaos.
755
00:36:46,010 --> 00:36:47,515
And it's extra bad right now
756
00:36:47,516 --> 00:36:49,981
'cause of lan's gay messiah shit.
757
00:36:49,982 --> 00:36:52,223
He should read Pope Leo the 13th's
758
00:36:52,224 --> 00:36:53,962
encyclical on property rights.
759
00:36:54,893 --> 00:36:56,604
I'll pass it on.
760
00:36:58,564 --> 00:37:00,607
You know, whiskey is actually
761
00:37:00,608 --> 00:37:03,192
clear when it comes off the still.
762
00:37:03,193 --> 00:37:06,649
It gets the caramel color
from the barrel...
763
00:37:06,650 --> 00:37:08,434
You know, I'm just... I'm
just gonna say this.
764
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:09,574
Sometimes it feels like
765
00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:11,743
it doesn't even matter
that I'm sitting here.
766
00:37:11,744 --> 00:37:13,368
I know all the places you've lived.
767
00:37:13,369 --> 00:37:15,328
I know all the languages you speak.
768
00:37:15,329 --> 00:37:18,001
I've met your exes, your
baby mamas, your spawn.
769
00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:21,177
And yet, you have never asked
one question about me.
770
00:37:21,818 --> 00:37:23,296
Did you know that I became
771
00:37:23,297 --> 00:37:25,882
legal guardian of my
siblings when I was 23?
772
00:37:25,883 --> 00:37:27,580
Or that I dropped out of high school,
773
00:37:27,581 --> 00:37:29,552
but then I got back and I got my GED?
774
00:37:29,553 --> 00:37:31,073
Yes, actually, I did.
775
00:37:32,765 --> 00:37:35,183
And I know you did it to
convince your genius brother
776
00:37:35,184 --> 00:37:37,213
who's a recovering alcoholic
to stay in college.
777
00:37:38,020 --> 00:37:40,396
I know you got left at the
altar by your junkie fiancé
778
00:37:40,397 --> 00:37:42,227
with whom you were very much in love.
779
00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:44,984
- How?
- 'Cause I ask around.
780
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,487
There's some other stuff I know.
781
00:37:47,488 --> 00:37:49,197
You're fiercely protective
of your family.
782
00:37:49,198 --> 00:37:50,276
You're generous.
783
00:37:50,922 --> 00:37:52,288
Like today, for example,
784
00:37:52,289 --> 00:37:54,272
you gave your apartment
to a homeless family.
785
00:37:55,782 --> 00:37:58,200
You are so very much yourself.
786
00:37:59,269 --> 00:38:00,975
You don't even have to try.
787
00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:06,382
And frankly, you scare the
fuckin' shit out of me.
788
00:38:27,861 --> 00:38:29,407
It's him. It's him.
789
00:38:30,614 --> 00:38:31,851
Svet, Svet.
790
00:38:32,241 --> 00:38:36,013
The buzzard is in the tuba.
The buzzard is in the tuba.
791
00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:37,495
- The what?
- I have no idea.
792
00:38:37,496 --> 00:38:38,691
I've never done this before.
793
00:38:44,051 --> 00:38:45,879
What's she saying?
794
00:38:47,631 --> 00:38:48,849
I can't hear anything.
795
00:38:49,341 --> 00:38:52,647
I can't hear anything. We
never tested the microphone.
796
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:56,389
All right, well, she needs to relax.
797
00:38:56,390 --> 00:38:58,127
Tell her to lean in a little.
798
00:38:59,226 --> 00:39:01,506
Svetlana, lean in a little.
799
00:39:02,104 --> 00:39:03,187
Too far. Too Far.
800
00:39:03,188 --> 00:39:04,898
Too far. Too far.
801
00:39:06,233 --> 00:39:08,025
Take a sip of your drink.
802
00:39:08,922 --> 00:39:10,502
Sip, not gulp.
803
00:39:11,488 --> 00:39:13,671
Tell her to-to ask him about something.
804
00:39:13,672 --> 00:39:15,032
All right. All right.
805
00:39:15,033 --> 00:39:16,033
All right, Svet.
806
00:39:16,034 --> 00:39:18,369
Ask him about his mother.
807
00:39:18,370 --> 00:39:19,829
No, not his mother.
808
00:39:19,830 --> 00:39:22,248
Ask him about his favorite sports teams.
809
00:39:22,249 --> 00:39:23,499
Allergies... What the hell
810
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:25,668
do people talk about on dates?
811
00:39:25,669 --> 00:39:28,380
Did she just drop her
earpiece in her drink?
812
00:39:31,884 --> 00:39:33,342
Oh, no.
813
00:39:33,343 --> 00:39:35,512
She's gonna grab his cock, isn't she?
814
00:39:39,933 --> 00:39:41,671
Mm-hmm. Called that one.
815
00:39:42,269 --> 00:39:43,728
T-shirts!
816
00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:45,229
Each garment has been
worn by the man himself.
817
00:39:45,230 --> 00:39:46,272
- And blessed!
- T-shirts.
818
00:39:46,273 --> 00:39:47,064
$50 suggested donation.
819
00:39:47,065 --> 00:39:49,484
The white one? Okay. Thank you.
820
00:39:49,485 --> 00:39:50,581
T-shirts, T-shirts.
821
00:39:50,582 --> 00:39:51,861
T-shirts, get your T-shirts here!
822
00:39:51,862 --> 00:39:53,571
Nice turnout.
823
00:39:53,572 --> 00:39:55,435
Only half of them are regulars.
824
00:39:56,074 --> 00:39:57,170
You did great.
825
00:39:57,534 --> 00:39:59,202
I just sat there while
people talked about
826
00:39:59,203 --> 00:40:00,620
how horribly they'd been treated,
827
00:40:00,621 --> 00:40:02,622
by family, co-workers...
828
00:40:02,623 --> 00:40:04,582
Can you please sign this, please?
829
00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:06,209
- ...strangers.
- Thank you.
830
00:40:06,210 --> 00:40:07,989
Sometimes that's all they need.
831
00:40:09,254 --> 00:40:11,047
Tomorrow's our weekly service...
832
00:40:11,048 --> 00:40:12,340
- Thanks so much.
- ...where we invite speakers
833
00:40:12,341 --> 00:40:14,008
to come up and discuss how to turn
834
00:40:14,009 --> 00:40:16,260
personal pain into positive action.
835
00:40:16,261 --> 00:40:18,149
We call it "A Night of Good Grief."
836
00:40:19,056 --> 00:40:21,307
The name is silly, but the idea isn't.
837
00:40:21,308 --> 00:40:22,809
You up for it?
838
00:40:22,810 --> 00:40:24,685
Well...
839
00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:28,606
I don't... know what to say
that hasn't already been said.
840
00:40:28,607 --> 00:40:30,034
You say it again.
841
00:40:30,035 --> 00:40:32,026
It can't be said enough,
not until queer kids
842
00:40:32,027 --> 00:40:33,945
stop being told there's
something wrong with them.
843
00:40:33,946 --> 00:40:35,731
It was so worth it.
844
00:41:31,753 --> 00:41:33,045
Fuck!
845
00:42:02,910 --> 00:42:04,035
Hey.
846
00:42:04,036 --> 00:42:05,870
- Hm?
- Hey.
847
00:42:05,871 --> 00:42:07,342
We need to talk.
848
00:42:08,206 --> 00:42:10,291
What? What?
849
00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:12,501
You gotta promise not to freak out.
850
00:42:12,502 --> 00:42:13,577
I promise.
851
00:42:14,171 --> 00:42:16,881
Okay. First of all.
852
00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:18,966
You're, like, the best thing
that's ever happened to me
853
00:42:18,967 --> 00:42:20,469
like, by like a bazillion.
854
00:42:21,464 --> 00:42:23,679
But when we were at the clerk's office,
855
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:25,251
and she said we had to wait...
856
00:42:27,006 --> 00:42:28,413
I was relieved.
857
00:42:28,888 --> 00:42:30,176
A little.
858
00:42:31,104 --> 00:42:34,121
'Cause I feel like we rushed into this.
859
00:42:34,122 --> 00:42:36,214
And I totally want you to be my wife,
860
00:42:36,215 --> 00:42:37,722
my little sweetie boo.
861
00:42:39,404 --> 00:42:41,364
Would you hate me
862
00:42:41,365 --> 00:42:43,817
if we stayed engaged a teeny bit longer?
863
00:42:44,327 --> 00:42:46,410
Until we're both
864
00:42:46,411 --> 00:42:50,260
no doubt, positively sure we're ready?
865
00:42:54,586 --> 00:42:56,003
I could never hate you.
866
00:42:57,130 --> 00:42:58,924
- For real?
- Yeah.
867
00:42:59,591 --> 00:43:02,468
And thank you for being honest with me.
868
00:43:02,469 --> 00:43:05,829
That's, like, super important
for a healthy marriage.
869
00:43:07,099 --> 00:43:09,100
You are awesome.
870
00:43:09,101 --> 00:43:10,434
I love you.
871
00:43:10,435 --> 00:43:11,803
Mm, I love you too.
872
00:43:13,855 --> 00:43:15,232
Mm.
873
00:43:26,952 --> 00:43:27,994
Okay, okay.
874
00:43:27,995 --> 00:43:30,205
Okay, now.
875
00:43:46,972 --> 00:43:49,558
You're getting pretty good at that.
876
00:43:50,809 --> 00:43:53,352
Fourth time's the charm.
877
00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:58,774
Well,
878
00:43:58,775 --> 00:44:01,235
two left.
879
00:44:01,236 --> 00:44:03,484
Better hope you tire out soon.
880
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,952
Do you think I'm the
only person on Earth
881
00:44:09,953 --> 00:44:11,495
who doesn't want your babies?
882
00:44:11,496 --> 00:44:13,289
I don't want my babies.
883
00:44:13,290 --> 00:44:15,236
That's why I keep letting
other people have them.
884
00:44:17,170 --> 00:44:20,173
I dig this candid version of you.
885
00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:25,343
Now... ask me something about myself.
886
00:44:27,345 --> 00:44:29,843
What's the one thing
about Fiona Gallagher
887
00:44:29,844 --> 00:44:31,460
that might surprise me?
888
00:44:32,434 --> 00:44:33,796
That's a tough one.
889
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:36,728
You seem to have me all figured out.
890
00:44:37,282 --> 00:44:38,690
That's my gift.
891
00:44:41,151 --> 00:44:42,513
How about...
892
00:44:46,491 --> 00:44:48,802
I think I might not want to have kids.
893
00:44:49,724 --> 00:44:51,786
But you're a woman.
How is that possible?
894
00:44:53,455 --> 00:44:56,040
Well, my siblings are my kids.
895
00:45:01,838 --> 00:45:03,506
It's Nessa.
896
00:45:03,507 --> 00:45:04,757
Mm-hmm.
897
00:45:04,758 --> 00:45:06,050
I'm supposed to be analyzing
898
00:45:06,051 --> 00:45:07,718
your skills and reporting back.
899
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:09,136
And how am I doing so far?
900
00:45:10,251 --> 00:45:11,806
Overall positive.
901
00:45:11,807 --> 00:45:14,016
Happy to give you more data.
902
00:45:14,017 --> 00:45:16,353
Hi. Can I call you back later?
903
00:45:19,564 --> 00:45:21,358
You're fucking kidding me.
904
00:45:24,361 --> 00:45:26,612
- Thanks for the heads up.
- Any time.
905
00:45:26,613 --> 00:45:29,908
FYI, they just dragged in two
sleeping bags and a pull-up bar.
906
00:45:31,785 --> 00:45:33,286
Hello?
907
00:45:35,122 --> 00:45:37,248
- ...uh-huh.
- Hi.
908
00:45:37,249 --> 00:45:39,375
Now, everyone, this is the lady
909
00:45:39,376 --> 00:45:40,626
who has been helping us.
910
00:45:40,627 --> 00:45:42,586
This is, uh, my sister,
911
00:45:42,587 --> 00:45:45,756
my cousin, his wife, and their son.
912
00:45:45,757 --> 00:45:47,288
What's going on?
913
00:45:47,289 --> 00:45:48,843
They're paying us to crash here
914
00:45:48,844 --> 00:45:51,063
so we'll have some cash for the shelter.
915
00:45:51,064 --> 00:45:52,847
Oh, fuck! My chair!
916
00:45:52,848 --> 00:45:54,904
Ooh, sorry about that.
917
00:45:54,905 --> 00:45:57,476
Good thing it's an old chair, right?
918
00:46:23,044 --> 00:46:25,588
Hey. Sorry about last night.
919
00:46:25,589 --> 00:46:27,230
Something came up last
minute, and I'm trying
920
00:46:27,231 --> 00:46:28,951
to juggle everything but
it's snowballing and...
921
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:30,004
And I...
922
00:46:30,005 --> 00:46:32,303
Hey.
923
00:46:32,304 --> 00:46:33,888
- Yeah.
- It's snowballing.
924
00:46:33,889 --> 00:46:35,931
I had like 40 people show up
to this meeting yesterday.
925
00:46:35,932 --> 00:46:37,516
Yeah, and I had 50 kids show up
926
00:46:37,517 --> 00:46:39,894
to a career symposium
about being a paramedic.
927
00:46:39,895 --> 00:46:43,301
But... I guess since yours is
about God, you win, right?
928
00:46:44,316 --> 00:46:46,483
- Hey, hey, Ian.
- One second, guys.
929
00:46:46,484 --> 00:46:49,111
I'm helping people in need, same as you.
930
00:46:49,112 --> 00:46:51,238
Are you saying it's only
cool when it's your idea?
931
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,324
I don't ask a lot of you.
932
00:46:53,325 --> 00:46:55,784
This was one thing that
was important to me.
933
00:46:56,661 --> 00:46:59,038
You know, maybe what
you're doing is worth
934
00:46:59,039 --> 00:47:00,789
pissing off the people
that care about you.
935
00:47:00,790 --> 00:47:01,916
That's fine.
936
00:47:01,917 --> 00:47:03,292
But don't insult me
937
00:47:03,293 --> 00:47:05,123
by acting like it's not happening.
938
00:47:18,899 --> 00:47:19,900
Hi.
939
00:47:20,352 --> 00:47:21,980
You didn't speak at the service.
940
00:47:22,729 --> 00:47:24,631
Uh, I was gonna, but...
941
00:47:25,638 --> 00:47:27,984
everything I was gonna
say was already said.
942
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:34,477
Sorry for your loss.
943
00:47:36,534 --> 00:47:38,595
Yeah, I lost him a long time ago.
944
00:47:41,122 --> 00:47:42,843
Still doesn't make it easy.
945
00:47:44,334 --> 00:47:46,719
He was a good dad, just, um,
946
00:47:47,334 --> 00:47:48,421
not to me.
947
00:47:49,813 --> 00:47:51,257
I guess it's easier to be
948
00:47:51,258 --> 00:47:52,953
kind to somebody who looks up to you.
949
00:47:54,010 --> 00:47:55,314
Hey, um,
950
00:47:56,846 --> 00:47:59,719
I found this going
through his paperwork.
951
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:02,601
It's a draft of a recommendation letter.
952
00:48:03,577 --> 00:48:05,007
Thought you might want it.
953
00:48:27,861 --> 00:48:29,878
You know, in all of his
years of teaching,
954
00:48:29,879 --> 00:48:32,424
I never heard him talk
about a student like that.
955
00:48:34,467 --> 00:48:36,801
He says he's amazed by your mind.
956
00:48:45,455 --> 00:48:47,049
You don't want to keep it?
957
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:52,121
Oh, I think I'm too angry to keep it.
958
00:49:17,635 --> 00:49:19,386
Kass?
959
00:49:19,387 --> 00:49:21,972
Where you at?
960
00:49:24,476 --> 00:49:27,131
Babe?
961
00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:29,021
Kass!
962
00:49:30,482 --> 00:49:32,649
Oh!
963
00:49:32,650 --> 00:49:34,985
You saved my life!
964
00:49:34,986 --> 00:49:37,232
- You really do love me!
- Yeah.
965
00:49:37,712 --> 00:49:39,310
What time is it?
966
00:49:40,233 --> 00:49:41,325
Like 4:00?
967
00:49:41,326 --> 00:49:43,481
The County Clerk's
office is open til 5:00.
968
00:49:56,846 --> 00:49:58,329
That your new chair?
969
00:50:00,053 --> 00:50:01,179
Why's it over here?
970
00:50:03,348 --> 00:50:06,163
So that the pile of assholes who
are squatting in my apartment
971
00:50:06,164 --> 00:50:07,738
won't destroy it.
972
00:50:10,605 --> 00:50:13,065
Who aren't actually assholes.
973
00:50:13,066 --> 00:50:14,400
They're just poor and broke
974
00:50:14,401 --> 00:50:15,859
and taking advantage of the situation.
975
00:50:15,860 --> 00:50:18,833
Just like I've done 100 times.
976
00:50:20,198 --> 00:50:22,077
And they aren't squatting.
977
00:50:22,078 --> 00:50:23,657
I told them that they could stay there.
978
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:30,707
Did you just get this pic from Kassidi?
979
00:50:30,708 --> 00:50:31,876
Yeah.
980
00:50:32,919 --> 00:50:34,896
"Birth, marriage, death."
981
00:50:34,897 --> 00:50:36,047
What the hell is that?
982
00:50:37,545 --> 00:50:39,675
- I think they got hitched.
- What?
983
00:50:39,676 --> 00:50:41,522
Yeah, I told him not to.
984
00:50:42,178 --> 00:50:45,223
Not legally, right? She's, like, 15.
985
00:50:51,646 --> 00:50:52,896
Hey.
986
00:50:52,897 --> 00:50:55,065
Can I get a ride to this church?
987
00:50:55,066 --> 00:50:57,813
Supposed to speak at this
thing, and I don't know.
988
00:50:58,727 --> 00:51:01,517
Kinda scared shitless. I mean...
989
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,752
I don't do speeches.
990
00:51:05,010 --> 00:51:06,239
So don't do it.
991
00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:07,882
Sorta feel like I have to.
992
00:51:08,538 --> 00:51:10,676
Everyone thinks that I
have something to say.
993
00:51:12,235 --> 00:51:13,345
What if I don't?
994
00:51:16,754 --> 00:51:19,047
When they're gone, they're gone,
folks, so don't miss out.
995
00:51:19,048 --> 00:51:21,341
All profits go to help
gays across the planet.
996
00:51:21,342 --> 00:51:23,247
Can you give me just one second?
997
00:51:24,220 --> 00:51:26,597
Are we really gonna give
all of our money to Ian?
998
00:51:26,598 --> 00:51:28,557
No, of course not.
999
00:51:28,558 --> 00:51:32,144
Thank you so much for waiting.
Gay Jesus loves and blesses you.
1000
00:51:32,145 --> 00:51:34,354
Get your T-shirts here!
Don't miss out, folks.
1001
00:51:34,355 --> 00:51:36,982
We're runnin' out. T-shirts.
1002
00:51:42,947 --> 00:51:45,616
Oh, shit. No wonder you're nervous.
1003
00:51:45,617 --> 00:51:48,035
Did you know that all these
people were gonna be here?
1004
00:51:48,036 --> 00:51:49,912
- No.
- Hey.
1005
00:51:49,913 --> 00:51:51,688
They all came for you.
1006
00:51:51,689 --> 00:51:53,219
Isn't this amazing?
1007
00:52:23,905 --> 00:52:27,282
So I just wanna start out
by saying that I'm no hero.
1008
00:52:27,895 --> 00:52:30,327
I'm just a guy who keeps showing up
1009
00:52:30,328 --> 00:52:34,149
to these anti-gay churches
and hearing shit like,
1010
00:52:34,150 --> 00:52:36,458
"God created man and woman.
1011
00:52:36,459 --> 00:52:39,336
You either look like a man or a woman.
1012
00:52:39,337 --> 00:52:42,576
Don't... bring us any
of your other shit."
1013
00:52:44,077 --> 00:52:45,729
So they're essentially saying,
1014
00:52:46,386 --> 00:52:48,762
"Don't make me work too hard
1015
00:52:48,763 --> 00:52:51,765
to see you on your own terms," right?
1016
00:52:53,518 --> 00:52:58,605
But we have the God-given
right to be who we are.
1017
00:52:58,606 --> 00:53:01,233
Not who others want us to be.
1018
00:53:01,234 --> 00:53:03,900
So when they say shit like,
1019
00:53:03,901 --> 00:53:08,264
"Don't use fake words like nonbinary
1020
00:53:08,265 --> 00:53:11,869
or gender-fluid,
cis-whatever," it's like...
1021
00:53:13,851 --> 00:53:16,164
Those are my terms, bitch.
1022
00:53:16,165 --> 00:53:18,083
Mm-hmm, yep.
1023
00:53:26,301 --> 00:53:27,969
Mm-hmm.
1024
00:53:29,915 --> 00:53:34,016
Which means we have to be so big,
1025
00:53:34,017 --> 00:53:35,392
so noisy...
1026
00:53:35,393 --> 00:53:37,603
that there's nowhere else to look.
1027
00:53:37,604 --> 00:53:41,151
And we do it in God's name because...
1028
00:53:43,784 --> 00:53:45,736
Because God hates haters.
1029
00:54:13,863 --> 00:54:16,009
I spotted 12 safety violations.
1030
00:54:16,010 --> 00:54:17,736
No wonder they pay so much.
1031
00:54:17,737 --> 00:54:19,519
I think I'm gonna bail.
1032
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,792
I gotta stick it out. I need the cash.
1033
00:54:21,793 --> 00:54:23,172
Hey, could you grab me a clip light?
1034
00:54:23,173 --> 00:54:24,406
Can barely see anything I'm doing.
1035
00:54:24,407 --> 00:54:25,512
Okay.
1036
00:54:33,284 --> 00:54:34,785
Debbie!
1037
00:54:36,539 --> 00:54:37,913
Call 911!
1038
00:54:47,965 --> 00:54:49,258
Hi.
1039
00:54:52,053 --> 00:54:54,231
This fucking day, man.
1040
00:54:54,232 --> 00:54:55,863
Find Svetlana a man?
1041
00:54:55,864 --> 00:54:57,808
No, she grabbed the guy's cock.
1042
00:55:01,145 --> 00:55:03,313
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
1043
00:55:03,733 --> 00:55:05,577
Not taking her home to meet Mom.
1044
00:55:07,318 --> 00:55:08,841
Where you coming from?
1045
00:55:10,570 --> 00:55:11,979
Church.
1046
00:55:12,740 --> 00:55:14,574
Ian has a cult.
1047
00:55:14,575 --> 00:55:16,542
- A what?
- Yeah.
1048
00:55:16,543 --> 00:55:19,192
They think he's Gay Jesus.
1049
00:55:20,006 --> 00:55:21,627
Looking for Fiona Gallagher.
1050
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:23,287
That's me.
1051
00:55:23,714 --> 00:55:24,980
You've been served.
1052
00:55:32,427 --> 00:55:34,558
"As a result of one or more acts
1053
00:55:34,559 --> 00:55:37,221
by defendant L. Donner and
defendant F. Gallagher,
1054
00:55:38,156 --> 00:55:40,517
plaintiff R. Latham has been injured,
1055
00:55:40,518 --> 00:55:42,476
damaged, and incapacitated."
1056
00:55:42,910 --> 00:55:44,605
Who the fuck is R. Latham?
1057
00:55:46,065 --> 00:55:47,441
Rodney.
1058
00:55:47,442 --> 00:55:49,089
The dude that fell off your roof?
1059
00:55:49,090 --> 00:55:50,296
He's suing you?
1060
00:55:50,297 --> 00:55:52,589
"Plaintiff demands judgment
against defendants
1061
00:55:52,590 --> 00:55:55,616
in the sum of $6 million."
1062
00:55:57,201 --> 00:55:58,650
Motherfucker.
1063
00:55:59,396 --> 00:56:00,836
Motherfucker!
1064
00:56:27,820 --> 00:56:33,820
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
1064
00:56:34,305 --> 00:56:40,672
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