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1
00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:06,493
Ah! My feet
are so happy right now.
2
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:08,781
Remember that guy who stiffed me
on my tip today?
3
00:00:08,945 --> 00:00:10,453
'cause I don't.
4
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,000
I do feel a tad guilty
buying this
5
00:00:13,069 --> 00:00:15,836
since we haven't paid your dad
any of the money for rent.
6
00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:17,669
Yeah,
I felt guilty, too.
7
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,570
But then this puppy kicked in,
and da guilt be gone.
8
00:00:20,927 --> 00:00:22,469
Okay, my turn.
Come on, feet out.
9
00:00:22,538 --> 00:00:23,820
All right.
10
00:00:26,024 --> 00:00:28,523
Okay, here we go.
11
00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:31,701
And... oh, queen mother.
12
00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:35,312
Oh, that's delightful.
13
00:00:35,473 --> 00:00:37,273
Oh, oh, we deserve this,
14
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:39,203
and I don't care
who knows about it.
15
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:41,695
- That's my dad.
- Except for him.
16
00:00:41,764 --> 00:00:44,131
Help... hel... help me...
17
00:00:45,431 --> 00:00:47,216
- Hey, dad.
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
18
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:48,694
What's happening?
19
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:56,881
What's going on?
20
00:00:57,956 --> 00:00:59,606
Kendra bought a foot massager
with the money
21
00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:00,820
we were supposed to
give you for rent.
22
00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:02,160
And then when she heard you
coming through the door,
23
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,405
she said that
she was gonna blame me.
24
00:01:05,737 --> 00:01:07,022
Seriously?
25
00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:09,565
You sit there and complain about
your dry little, British feet,
26
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:11,031
and then
you throw me under the bus?
27
00:01:11,099 --> 00:01:12,148
Get up. Get up.
Let me see it.
28
00:01:12,216 --> 00:01:13,520
Get out of here.
What is this?
29
00:01:13,589 --> 00:01:14,824
Oh! All right.
30
00:01:15,049 --> 00:01:16,591
The Zeon-Pro 3000...
31
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,161
Very familiar with
this guy right here.
32
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,825
We already met
at a sharper image.
33
00:01:22,988 --> 00:01:24,997
I was halfway through
my program,
34
00:01:25,175 --> 00:01:27,074
and the manager was like,
"you know what?
35
00:01:27,143 --> 00:01:28,157
You want to keep it down, sir,
36
00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:29,492
Because you're disturbing
all the"...
37
00:01:29,559 --> 00:01:31,542
Tha-a-at's it!
38
00:01:32,206 --> 00:01:33,588
Mm!
39
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,841
Oh, yeah.
40
00:01:36,252 --> 00:01:37,635
Oh,
that feels so good.
41
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:39,435
I'll tell you what,
I am keeping this.
42
00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:41,479
- We're even on the rent.
- Oh.
43
00:01:41,548 --> 00:01:44,138
Uh, actually, Mr. Gable,
the rent is only $200.
44
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:45,674
The massager is $300.
45
00:01:45,864 --> 00:01:47,401
Yeah,
that's for a new one.
46
00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:49,018
This baby was used.
47
00:01:49,165 --> 00:01:50,924
All right.
Yep. That's great.
48
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:56,134
Yes!
Sweet Atlanta peaches!
49
00:01:56,202 --> 00:02:00,725
♪ I'm not your ordinary guy ♪
*KEVIN CAN WAIT*
Season 02 Episode 21
Episode Title: "The Smoking Bun"
50
00:02:01,659 --> 00:02:03,510
I can't believe those
people are at our table.
51
00:02:03,634 --> 00:02:07,471
Right? Look at 'em all
comfortable and spread out.
52
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,073
They disgust me.
53
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,362
I just heard the craziest rumor.
54
00:02:13,472 --> 00:02:14,995
You know didi's cousin
Laura?
55
00:02:15,128 --> 00:02:17,088
Yeah, the one that's shaped
like a kettle bell?
56
00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:19,173
No,
that's didi's sister.
57
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:24,956
Point is, she heard a rumor
that Enzo's is up for sale.
58
00:02:25,135 --> 00:02:27,002
What? No.
I'm telling you...
59
00:02:27,071 --> 00:02:28,659
you remember the last time
didi heard a rumor?
60
00:02:28,727 --> 00:02:30,612
She thought kyle was dating
a super model.
61
00:02:30,791 --> 00:02:32,870
- A super market model.
- All right.
62
00:02:33,493 --> 00:02:37,073
Man, if Enzo sells the place,
where am I gonna go every day?
63
00:02:37,194 --> 00:02:39,425
Will you relax? He would never
sell the place without telling us.
64
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,088
- Enzo!
- Yeah, what's up?
65
00:02:41,157 --> 00:02:43,142
Look, we heard a rumor you might
be selling the place.
66
00:02:43,211 --> 00:02:45,055
- Oh, that's just a rumor.
- See, what'd I tell you?
67
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,076
I'm definitely
selling the place.
68
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,424
- What?
- Well, that's it?
69
00:02:49,493 --> 00:02:50,772
You're leaving us,
just like that?
70
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:51,980
Yeah, come on.
What are you doing?
71
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:53,818
- We're like family.
- Family?
72
00:02:53,887 --> 00:02:55,596
Name one personal thing
you know about me.
73
00:02:55,706 --> 00:02:58,081
Are you... first of all,
you have a beautiful wife,
74
00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,231
And you got, like, three,
four... what is it, five kids?
75
00:03:00,299 --> 00:03:02,268
Divorced twice,
no children.
76
00:03:02,627 --> 00:03:03,931
So why are you
selling the place?
77
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,932
You got nothing else going on.
78
00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:07,996
Look,
I'm going to Florida.
79
00:03:08,065 --> 00:03:10,235
My cholesterol's not great,
stress is through the roof.
80
00:03:10,304 --> 00:03:12,260
Doctor said I need to
change my life.
81
00:03:12,557 --> 00:03:13,807
You know,
h-hear me out on this.
82
00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:15,412
I'm thinking
recumbent bike.
83
00:03:15,534 --> 00:03:17,535
- Oh, I heard those are nice.
- Right?
84
00:03:17,602 --> 00:03:19,569
You lay back, you feel like
you're working out,
85
00:03:19,636 --> 00:03:20,804
The thing's moving,
it's good.
86
00:03:20,873 --> 00:03:22,507
Look, I appreciate what you guys
are trying to do,
87
00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:25,143
but... doctor said I'm at high risk
of stroke.
88
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,018
Get some gel insoles.
89
00:03:27,127 --> 00:03:28,769
Th-Th-They will
change your life, right?
90
00:03:28,854 --> 00:03:30,448
They're nice. Yes.
91
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,440
I still can't believe
this whole Enzo's thing.
92
00:03:34,509 --> 00:03:35,768
What...
What a gut punch.
93
00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:39,229
I mean, he was cold as ice.
He was like an assassin.
94
00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:40,495
Why would he
want to do that?
95
00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:43,104
You mean taking over his
family's business,
96
00:03:43,173 --> 00:03:45,815
Building it up to the point
where he can retire to Florida?
97
00:03:45,884 --> 00:03:47,643
Yeah,
it just feels selfish.
98
00:03:48,598 --> 00:03:50,366
Why is this a problem?
99
00:03:50,435 --> 00:03:52,494
There's a million pizza places
on long island.
100
00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:54,014
Just find another one
to get fat in.
101
00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:55,780
Hey! Whoa! Ho!
102
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:59,010
Oh, I'm sorry,
was this breaking news?
103
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,033
It's just Enzo's is our spot,
all right?
104
00:04:01,102 --> 00:04:03,438
Now... if they got new people
coming to take it over,
105
00:04:03,507 --> 00:04:05,230
- It's gonna ruin it.
- Well, you don't know that.
106
00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:07,081
Maybe the new owners
will put some money into it.
107
00:04:07,149 --> 00:04:09,957
You guys are always complaining
about how cheap Enzo is.
108
00:04:10,026 --> 00:04:12,486
He is. Ple...
There's never enough napkins,
109
00:04:12,555 --> 00:04:14,354
he... under-cheeses the pizza,
110
00:04:14,423 --> 00:04:16,423
There's the cracked urinal
in the bathroom.
111
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,593
Hoo-ooh.
I don't even go in there
112
00:04:18,662 --> 00:04:20,736
if I'm wearing
my Jordan 3's.
113
00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:23,221
What about the big tv
he promised us?
114
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:25,799
It's been "on order"
since 2012.
115
00:04:25,868 --> 00:04:27,657
Look, you guys are in there
every day.
116
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,296
You...
You're the regulars.
117
00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:31,135
I'm sure the new owners
want to hear from you.
118
00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:32,538
She's right.
You know what it is?
119
00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,244
We... we are the power base.
120
00:04:34,451 --> 00:04:36,652
We should put a list
of our demands together
121
00:04:36,721 --> 00:04:37,886
And put the squeeze
on the new owners,
122
00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:39,270
just let them know
how it's gonna be.
123
00:04:39,338 --> 00:04:40,774
- Ah, I like it!
- Great.
124
00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:43,189
Okay. Do me a favor...
Write this down, make a list.
125
00:04:43,258 --> 00:04:46,502
Oh, okay. This should be
a real think tank.
126
00:04:48,392 --> 00:04:49,926
All right, the first thing
we should think about
127
00:04:49,994 --> 00:04:51,605
is job security for
Kendra and Chale.
128
00:04:51,674 --> 00:04:53,026
That's important. All right?
Just get that. Okay.
129
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:56,150
A new freezer so the beer mugs
are all nice and frosty.
130
00:04:56,221 --> 00:04:57,370
- I like that!
- Mmm, nice.
131
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:58,878
Oh, and... an...
And also, a sugar dispenser
132
00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:00,648
Where the hole's in the top,
and it's like a jar...
133
00:05:00,716 --> 00:05:02,042
You pour it out, so I don't
got to sit there opening,
134
00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:03,112
Like, eight packets of sugar.
135
00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:04,490
Like...
Like I got time for that.
136
00:05:04,559 --> 00:05:06,495
Right,
or, here's an idea,
137
00:05:06,564 --> 00:05:08,119
You could just
cut down on the sugar.
138
00:05:08,222 --> 00:05:10,290
- Oh!
- Hey!
139
00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:14,751
These are warm.
These guys have money.
140
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,449
By the way,
thanks again for coming.
141
00:05:18,517 --> 00:05:20,322
Yeah, well, you lied and said
we were going to lunch.
142
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:23,650
We are after this.
Relax, okay?
143
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,119
Ready?
144
00:05:27,772 --> 00:05:29,236
Okay, what do you got
going on there?
145
00:05:29,354 --> 00:05:30,619
It's called
a power move.
146
00:05:30,688 --> 00:05:31,921
Okay,
I throw these things on
147
00:05:32,003 --> 00:05:33,611
And two things happen
immediately.
148
00:05:33,745 --> 00:05:36,385
Number one, I become
the smartest guy in the room.
149
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:37,994
Number two...
150
00:05:38,591 --> 00:05:40,397
See number one.
151
00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:43,298
- Couldn't think of number two, could ya?
- I ha... i have one.
152
00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:44,489
I have one,
just give me a second.
153
00:05:44,557 --> 00:05:46,358
Hi.
Mr. Alviti will see you now.
154
00:05:46,427 --> 00:05:48,227
Oh, okay, thank you so much.
Great. Thank you.
155
00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:49,764
I got number two.
156
00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:52,179
It's still the same thing...
See number one.
157
00:05:53,342 --> 00:05:54,765
How ya doing?
John alviti.
158
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,225
Hey, thanks for seeing us.
159
00:05:56,393 --> 00:05:57,395
- Hi.
- Hello.
160
00:05:57,462 --> 00:05:59,249
So, I understand you have
a proposition
161
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,886
regarding
Enzo's pizzeria.
162
00:06:00,955 --> 00:06:04,280
I do, uh, but first
let me ask you this...
163
00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:08,069
The most important ingredient to
any successful business is what?
164
00:06:09,299 --> 00:06:10,732
Marketable product.
165
00:06:10,916 --> 00:06:12,052
And...?
166
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:13,770
Working capital.
167
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,317
And...?
168
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:17,489
W-Why don't you
just tell me,
169
00:06:17,558 --> 00:06:19,632
'cause I-i feel like this is
gonna go on for a while.
170
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,885
Okay.
171
00:06:20,952 --> 00:06:22,965
The answer is
core clientele.
172
00:06:23,059 --> 00:06:26,708
You know, it's the regular
people, t-the little guy.
173
00:06:26,923 --> 00:06:30,293
And, in this scenario,
you're the little guy?
174
00:06:35,159 --> 00:06:37,208
I am, I am.
Uh, you know...
175
00:06:37,292 --> 00:06:40,779
And to be blunt, without us,
uh, there is no Enzo's.
176
00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:42,419
So I think it's in
your best interest...
177
00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:44,444
Wait a minute. I'm sorry.
You look familiar.
178
00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,334
Did you go to camp Apollo?
179
00:06:46,866 --> 00:06:48,022
I did.
180
00:06:48,631 --> 00:06:50,071
Vanessa.
181
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,250
Used to be Cellucci?
182
00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:53,225
Still is.
Ouch.
183
00:06:54,642 --> 00:06:56,210
Didn't you beat up
Doug Morrison?
184
00:06:56,347 --> 00:06:58,850
Yeah, well, he snapped my bra,
so I knocked his tooth out.
185
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,334
Hey, crazy twist... uh, the next
summer we started dating.
186
00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:03,782
Okay.
187
00:07:03,851 --> 00:07:06,530
Anyway,
I basically represent
188
00:07:06,599 --> 00:07:09,068
The power base at Enzo's,
you know?
189
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,897
So, look, do I hold my hand
over the red button?
190
00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:14,333
I do. You know,
am I ready to press that?
191
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:17,155
Not really,
if you meet our demands.
192
00:07:17,224 --> 00:07:20,030
Let's review them,
if you don't mind, okay?
193
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,866
First on the list
is basically
194
00:07:21,935 --> 00:07:23,327
just a pinball machine,
you know?
195
00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:26,215
And one with the flippers on
the bottom and also the top,
196
00:07:26,284 --> 00:07:27,354
'cause you can get some with
just the flippers
197
00:07:27,423 --> 00:07:28,612
- On the bottom...
- Not as fun.
198
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,518
And also with
the little trap doors,
199
00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:31,955
You know, where the ball
can just disappear
200
00:07:32,023 --> 00:07:33,022
And you can panic for a second?
You're like,
201
00:07:33,089 --> 00:07:35,038
"oh, I think I"...
And...
202
00:07:35,107 --> 00:07:36,688
Okay, we got it.
It comes back up.
203
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,726
We got it.
Okay.
204
00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:38,962
Yeah, we got it.
Nice one, nice one.
205
00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:40,165
Also,
here's what I'm thinking...
206
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,869
- Say no more.
- Oh.
207
00:07:42,117 --> 00:07:43,327
I think I'm good.
208
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,901
You know, I was torn between
keeping Enzo's
209
00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:48,104
Or tearing it down
to build a parking lot.
210
00:07:48,365 --> 00:07:49,369
Wow.
211
00:07:49,438 --> 00:07:51,178
I'm going parking lot.
212
00:07:53,076 --> 00:07:54,224
Man, if I kept Enzo's,
213
00:07:54,293 --> 00:07:56,193
I'd have to deal with
people like you every day.
214
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:58,975
I can't tell you
how much you annoy me.
215
00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:01,874
I-I annoy you?
216
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,389
Look, your demands
and how you sit
217
00:08:04,456 --> 00:08:06,956
and how the sweat
rolls down your brow
218
00:08:07,023 --> 00:08:09,389
into the crease of
your fat neck...
219
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:14,279
Are we, uh, still negotiating,
or...
220
00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:16,897
It feels like it kind of
took a personal turn there.
221
00:08:18,475 --> 00:08:21,261
He still wants me dead. Wait, so they're
just gonna tear the place down?
222
00:08:21,329 --> 00:08:23,399
What exactly did you say
to this Alviti guy?
223
00:08:23,466 --> 00:08:24,834
Nothing.
I just went in there,
224
00:08:24,901 --> 00:08:26,469
I told him we wanted
a pinball machine,
225
00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:27,802
- and... and the guy just...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
226
00:08:27,869 --> 00:08:29,772
Pinball machine?
We didn't authorize that.
227
00:08:29,839 --> 00:08:31,174
Yeah.
I think thinking on my feet.
228
00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:32,440
Yeah, okay, it's called
free-forming.
229
00:08:32,507 --> 00:08:33,789
You should've
stuck to the list.
230
00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:35,511
It's fine. It didn't matter
anyway, all right?
231
00:08:35,578 --> 00:08:36,678
I knew what I was doing.
I went in there,
232
00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:38,615
I was dressed sharp,
I had the half-glasses.
233
00:08:38,682 --> 00:08:40,214
Ooh, those always make you
look smart.
234
00:08:40,281 --> 00:08:42,886
They do.
But they had no effect, okay?
235
00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,886
The guy had his mind made up
before we even got there.
236
00:08:44,953 --> 00:08:46,053
I can't believe it.
237
00:08:46,122 --> 00:08:47,955
This place has been here
longer than we've been alive.
238
00:08:48,023 --> 00:08:51,761
True. Sign outside says,
"established 1943."
239
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,194
Yeah.
How many years is that?
240
00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:55,031
Uh... Uh...
Well, six plus seven...
241
00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:56,631
Six plus seven?
You don't do 6 by...
242
00:08:56,822 --> 00:08:58,640
you add 7 to the 43
to make it 50
243
00:08:58,709 --> 00:09:02,240
- So it gives you an even number.
- Siri, what's what 2018 minus 1943?
244
00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:04,398
Of course...
You add up,
245
00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:06,039
- And then you take it away afterwards.
- Wait, I got... I got 50.
246
00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,077
- Why would you even do that?
- 75 years.
247
00:09:08,144 --> 00:09:09,312
- Okay...
- 75 years, idiots!
248
00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:10,680
Nice job, okay?
249
00:09:10,747 --> 00:09:12,080
You ruined it.
I had it, but...
250
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,281
You had it? Yeah.
251
00:09:13,348 --> 00:09:14,550
Whoa, whoa, wait.
252
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:18,264
That means that Enzo's might
qualify for historic status.
253
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:20,207
What... what is that?
254
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:21,557
It means that they can't
tear it down.
255
00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:22,890
I mean, you couldn't even
paint the place
256
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:24,477
without getting approval
from the town.
257
00:09:24,592 --> 00:09:25,662
Well, that...
That's perfect.
258
00:09:25,729 --> 00:09:26,773
W-what would be
the next step?
259
00:09:26,841 --> 00:09:28,598
We just have to
petition the town
260
00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,646
to have it designated
a historic landmark.
261
00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:33,001
Then that's what we're gonna do.
Perfect.
262
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:34,502
We're done. Boom!
Yeah.
263
00:09:34,747 --> 00:09:38,466
Siri says 75 years...
Technology.
264
00:09:44,872 --> 00:09:45,919
Oh, God.
265
00:09:45,988 --> 00:09:47,544
You're sticking with
the glasses, huh?
266
00:09:47,615 --> 00:09:50,051
- Absolutely.
- I can handle this, okay?
267
00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:52,088
Next on the docket...
268
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:56,157
A motion to grant
Enzo's pizzeria historic status.
269
00:09:56,317 --> 00:09:58,021
Show time.
270
00:10:00,927 --> 00:10:02,598
Good morning, everybody.
271
00:10:02,665 --> 00:10:04,334
My name is kevin Gable.
272
00:10:04,401 --> 00:10:07,537
I am a retired police officer
Cin Nassau County.
273
00:10:07,771 --> 00:10:09,837
Your honor, with your
permission, I would like to...
274
00:10:09,904 --> 00:10:10,880
Sir, I'm not a judge.
275
00:10:10,949 --> 00:10:12,592
You don't need to refer to me
as "Your Honor."
276
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,677
Duly noted.
277
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,551
You know what it is?
The... the hammer thing.
278
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,468
Kind of... I saw that,
you smacked it, and it threw me.
279
00:10:17,536 --> 00:10:18,584
Uh...
280
00:10:18,653 --> 00:10:20,193
Dad,
just stick to your notes.
281
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:24,023
Okay.
282
00:10:24,154 --> 00:10:26,587
I'd, uh, now like to
call, uh, attention
283
00:10:26,654 --> 00:10:29,591
to Massapequa code 55,
section 11b,
284
00:10:29,826 --> 00:10:32,562
which states, to wit per se,
285
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:35,264
"in the case of
places deemed historic"...
286
00:10:35,331 --> 00:10:36,933
Mr. Gable,
we wrote the code.
287
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,866
You really don't need to
read it to us.
288
00:10:40,177 --> 00:10:41,982
Again, duly noted,
your honor.
289
00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:44,716
Again, not a judge.
290
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,591
Duly...
291
00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:49,958
Duly noted again on that one...
Top of the dulys.
292
00:10:50,152 --> 00:10:51,576
Do you have any information
293
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:53,648
That might actually
support your case?
294
00:10:54,339 --> 00:10:55,788
Yes. I, uh...
295
00:10:55,857 --> 00:10:57,302
Your notes
are in your folder.
296
00:10:57,404 --> 00:10:59,499
Mr. Gable, perhaps
you should come back
297
00:10:59,568 --> 00:11:00,590
When you have your things
in order...
298
00:11:00,657 --> 00:11:02,023
No, one sec... hey, please
hold on a second, please...
299
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:03,255
I...
You know what it is?
300
00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:06,013
I-I'm gonna be honest, I'm not
very good at the official stuff,
301
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,077
uh, and I'm taking these off,
'cause these things...
302
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,481
Uh,
they're making me nauseous.
303
00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:11,513
I'm sorry. I tried...
I bought a higher number,
304
00:11:11,582 --> 00:11:13,380
'cause I thought
they'd make you see clearer,
305
00:11:13,451 --> 00:11:14,702
But it actually works
the opposite ways.
306
00:11:14,769 --> 00:11:16,763
You... you start to...
Put it down.
307
00:11:18,161 --> 00:11:21,536
Um
Here's how it goes.
308
00:11:21,656 --> 00:11:23,723
Uh
I'm gonna be honest...
309
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,883
Enzo's is not just
a building to us
310
00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:29,044
or to anybody who...
Who lives in Massapequa.
311
00:11:29,113 --> 00:11:30,118
They know that.
312
00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:32,060
It's...
It's a part of our lives.
313
00:11:32,129 --> 00:11:35,901
My... my... my buddy mott,
he... he met his wife there.
314
00:11:36,073 --> 00:11:37,507
And, uh, all our kids,
315
00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:39,209
They've had their
communion parties
316
00:11:39,278 --> 00:11:42,052
and Baptisms and sweet sixteens,
317
00:11:42,419 --> 00:11:44,434
And my daughter
and son-in-law...
318
00:11:44,501 --> 00:11:46,661
They... they
they work at Enzo's.
319
00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:48,102
He's a...
He's the manager now.
320
00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:49,871
You're the manager.
You're the manager.
321
00:11:49,938 --> 00:11:52,068
Yeah, he is.
You should hug yourself.
322
00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:53,603
The... the truth is we've had
323
00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:57,092
Some of the best times
of our lives at Enzo's,
324
00:11:57,161 --> 00:12:01,632
And... You know,
also some of
325
00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,904
Some of the worst.
Um...
326
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,770
One of the darkest days
of my life I, uh...
327
00:12:10,119 --> 00:12:11,731
I got to be honest, I...
328
00:12:12,028 --> 00:12:13,769
I didn't know if I was gonna
pull through or not.
329
00:12:13,838 --> 00:12:16,724
It was, uh... Um...
330
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:21,202
The 2000 world series
when the yanks beat the mets.
331
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:22,700
It was, uh...
332
00:12:24,239 --> 00:12:26,747
The yanks won it.
I mean, it was clear. It was...
333
00:12:26,816 --> 00:12:29,118
It's so hard, because, you know,
it's subway series,
334
00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:30,521
And what are the chances
of them having...
335
00:12:30,589 --> 00:12:32,732
everything's got to match up
again for us to get anther shot,
336
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,458
You know, to get back at them.
337
00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:36,517
I don't know.
338
00:12:36,586 --> 00:12:39,356
I guess the point is
if you tear Enzo's down,
339
00:12:40,013 --> 00:12:43,255
You're tearing down
a part of all of us.
340
00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:48,431
Full disclosure,
my husband and I
341
00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:51,299
Were also at Enzo's
the night the mets lost.
342
00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:53,501
Still hurts.
343
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,768
Yeah, it does.
344
00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:57,901
Well, you know...
345
00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:59,979
There really is
a lot of history...
346
00:13:00,177 --> 00:13:02,495
- Yes.
- In that place,
347
00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:04,745
And, I guess we could...
348
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:12,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
349
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,860
I'm sorry,
the board has decided
350
00:13:14,991 --> 00:13:16,835
that there isn't
enough evidence
351
00:13:16,904 --> 00:13:19,460
To declare Enzo's
a historic landmark.
352
00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:20,885
Meeting adjourned.
353
00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:22,261
No!
What... what just happened?
354
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,266
We lost.
355
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,113
Uh, excuse me,
y-your honor, please...
356
00:13:25,182 --> 00:13:26,706
Not a judge!
357
00:13:27,292 --> 00:13:28,836
Duly noted.
358
00:13:29,826 --> 00:13:30,859
Like a free Samsung
wireless charging stand,
359
00:13:30,927 --> 00:13:31,896
I had that lady
eating out of my hand,
360
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:35,131
and Alviti walks in,
and, bam, she caves.
361
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,134
I'm telling ya, I-I think
he's got something on her.
362
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:38,438
Yeah,
or he paid her off.
363
00:13:38,511 --> 00:13:39,554
Either way,
we don't have any proof.
364
00:13:39,622 --> 00:13:42,372
Unless you have
a British Tech-Wiz
365
00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,099
Snooping through
city records.
366
00:13:44,262 --> 00:13:45,728
Ooh, I like it.
What do you got?
367
00:13:45,795 --> 00:13:48,532
When I cross referenced
Mr. Alviti's name
368
00:13:48,599 --> 00:13:49,662
with members of the board,
369
00:13:49,731 --> 00:13:53,521
Turns out he made
a $10,000 donation
370
00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:55,216
Three days
before our hearing.
371
00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:57,954
- That's a bribe.
- Bingo. You know what that is?
372
00:13:58,023 --> 00:14:00,292
It's also our smoking bun.
373
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:02,890
What?
374
00:14:02,959 --> 00:14:05,122
Our smoking bun. We got...
We got him over the coals.
375
00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:08,195
Okay.
Did you just say "Smoking bun"?
376
00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:09,858
Yeah. No, you're just gonna
want to let this go.
377
00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:11,596
No, I...
No, I can't let it go.
378
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,826
You do know it's smoking gun,
right?
379
00:14:13,956 --> 00:14:16,076
- No, it's smoking bun, okay?
- Oh...
380
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:18,654
Okay. They left the bun
in the oven too long,
381
00:14:18,723 --> 00:14:19,959
it started smoking,
382
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,495
The people in the house
were alerted
383
00:14:21,564 --> 00:14:22,818
that something was wrong,
384
00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:25,646
hence the saying,
the smoking bun.
385
00:14:25,924 --> 00:14:28,328
Sorry.
Oi.
386
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:32,263
Dummy,
it is smoking gun.
387
00:14:32,479 --> 00:14:35,208
You pull the trigger and
smoke comes out of the barrel.
388
00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:37,365
- Okay, that makes zero sense.
- Oh!
389
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:39,677
All right, Chale, do me a favor.
Let her have it.
390
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,539
Mr. Gable,
I'd rather not get involved in this.
391
00:14:41,607 --> 00:14:43,186
Don't you worry
about hurting her feelings.
392
00:14:43,254 --> 00:14:44,608
- Tell her, man. She...
- I'd prefer it if I were
393
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:45,796
- sidelined for this.
- Oh, okay.
394
00:14:45,864 --> 00:14:46,929
Okay, Chale, you know what?
I'm off of you.
395
00:14:46,997 --> 00:14:48,190
Kendra, please,
take her to school.
396
00:14:48,257 --> 00:14:49,364
I'm out.
397
00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:50,646
Will you just say it
please?
398
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,802
- No, I can't. I won't.
- Okay, Chale, back on you.
399
00:14:52,871 --> 00:14:54,060
I just don't want
to be here.
400
00:14:54,129 --> 00:14:55,002
Well, you don't have
to be here.
401
00:14:55,071 --> 00:14:57,742
- Just tell her the tr...
- Then it is gun!
402
00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:00,638
Of course it's gun.
403
00:15:00,705 --> 00:15:02,795
For anyone to think for even
a second that it would be
404
00:15:02,863 --> 00:15:07,419
anything other than a smoking
gun is completely asinine.
405
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,872
Doesn't matter anyway.
Let's just get going, all right?
406
00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:16,536
I'm sorry, Mr. Alviti...
I tried to stop them.
407
00:15:16,605 --> 00:15:18,442
Okay.
And he ate all the cookies.
408
00:15:18,636 --> 00:15:20,325
Boy, she is full of lies,
this one.
409
00:15:20,493 --> 00:15:21,520
It's o...
410
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:24,512
It's okay.
What's up, guys?
411
00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:25,696
What can I do for you?
412
00:15:25,765 --> 00:15:27,146
What's up?
We'll tell you what's up.
413
00:15:27,214 --> 00:15:28,715
We saw you
at the board meeting.
414
00:15:29,004 --> 00:15:30,004
And?
415
00:15:30,123 --> 00:15:31,857
And we saw that you gave
416
00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:34,176
a little bribe-arooski
to the judge lady.
417
00:15:34,246 --> 00:15:36,715
You didn't think we saw it,
but we saw it.
418
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:37,825
Boom.
419
00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:39,794
And there's
your smoking bun.
420
00:15:41,895 --> 00:15:43,212
You mean smoking gun.
421
00:15:43,348 --> 00:15:46,122
Bun, gun,
both are acceptable.
422
00:15:46,849 --> 00:15:49,483
So, you found out
I made a legal donation.
423
00:15:49,652 --> 00:15:51,278
Uh, nope.
It's a bribe.
424
00:15:51,347 --> 00:15:54,214
Look a little closer,
'cause you're going down, amigo.
425
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:58,715
Actually, amigo,
I donate every year.
426
00:15:58,784 --> 00:15:59,981
They use the money
to maintain
427
00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:01,483
Historical buildings
in the city.
428
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:04,426
I also donate to a church that
works with underprivileged kids.
429
00:16:04,579 --> 00:16:07,903
I have a plaque right there
for that "bribe."
430
00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:10,379
Sisters of the bronx.
431
00:16:10,456 --> 00:16:12,657
They're a good bunch.
I-I've heard of 'em.
432
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:16,294
Looks like you brought a bun
to a gunfight.
433
00:16:17,171 --> 00:16:18,370
So,
it'll be really great
434
00:16:18,439 --> 00:16:21,067
If I never see you guys
ever again, okay?
435
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,770
Understood.
I think we lost this one.
436
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:25,442
Okay.
All right.
437
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:27,118
You know what?
We were gonna be polite,
438
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,617
but you are looking at
two retired cops, okay?
439
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:34,064
We investigate stuff
for a living,
440
00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:36,661
and we gonna dig
until we find something.
441
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:39,887
And when we do,
we're gonna drag you to court.
442
00:16:40,223 --> 00:16:42,571
Boy, you guys just don't quit,
do you?
443
00:16:42,747 --> 00:16:43,887
No, we do not.
444
00:16:43,956 --> 00:16:45,591
We are like those gnats
445
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,902
That... buzz around your head
at a picnic.
446
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:50,730
Yep, we're just gonna keep
buzzing around in your ear.
447
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:55,503
All right, okay, okay,
I-I'm impressed.
448
00:16:55,871 --> 00:16:57,389
I didn't expect this
from someone
449
00:16:57,458 --> 00:17:00,596
Who wore sweat pants
to a City Council meeting.
450
00:17:00,825 --> 00:17:02,441
They're called stretch-e-slacks,
okay?
451
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,925
Stretch-e-slacks.
The "e" is for "energy."
452
00:17:05,062 --> 00:17:07,123
He doesn't want to know about your pants.
Energy. He asked.
453
00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:08,363
All right, all right, guys,
look, look, look...
454
00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:10,339
Maybe... maybe we can
work something out.
455
00:17:10,444 --> 00:17:11,839
You do security,
don't you?
456
00:17:11,908 --> 00:17:14,324
We own our own security company,
yeah. Why?
457
00:17:14,432 --> 00:17:16,469
Well, my company
has six parking lots,
458
00:17:16,538 --> 00:17:19,245
And the current security
is not working out so well,
459
00:17:19,535 --> 00:17:23,013
So you agree not to buzz-z-z
around in my ear,
460
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,315
and I will, uh, maybe consider
hiring you guys.
461
00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:27,863
Not interested.
462
00:17:27,968 --> 00:17:29,701
Gig's worth 250 g's.
463
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,653
Interesting.
Yeah.
464
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:33,924
Just give us...
Give us a second.
465
00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:35,312
Yeah.
We're gonna discuss...
466
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,013
Take your time.
467
00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,257
Thank you so much.
468
00:17:39,453 --> 00:17:43,545
- Did he say $250,000?
- Shh! Shut up.
469
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:44,629
Come on...
Body language.
470
00:17:44,698 --> 00:17:45,981
Don't look too excited.
471
00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:47,735
Actually, look more casual
like you don't care,
472
00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:49,372
- Just like...
- Oh.
473
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:55,106
That money would put monkey fist
on the map.
474
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,708
Okay, yeah, but we're trying to
keep Enzo's on the map.
475
00:17:57,788 --> 00:18:00,348
I will burn it to the ground
for this contract.
476
00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:04,120
- Okay, take it easy.
- To. The. Ground.
477
00:18:05,589 --> 00:18:06,623
Hey, guys.
478
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:09,309
I heard every word.
You're super loud.
479
00:18:10,247 --> 00:18:11,599
So, we got a deal?
480
00:18:12,036 --> 00:18:13,778
Y-you know what it is?
We're just...
481
00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:15,270
We're worried about Enzo's.
482
00:18:15,397 --> 00:18:16,825
Come on,
we'll work something out.
483
00:18:16,894 --> 00:18:18,697
Hmm.
What you have is my word,
484
00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,552
and it's stronger
than oak.
485
00:18:23,379 --> 00:18:24,591
All right.
486
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,405
Tim hortons new turkey melt.
487
00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:29,747
Well, Enzo's is saved,
and so are both your jobs.
488
00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:31,504
You're welcome.
489
00:18:33,749 --> 00:18:35,138
W-w-what is all this?
490
00:18:35,207 --> 00:18:37,507
It's a signed contract
with Alviti's company.
491
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,380
What?
You got that so fast.
492
00:18:39,449 --> 00:18:41,816
Yes, not only is gonna
keep Enzo's as-is,
493
00:18:41,885 --> 00:18:44,554
But we also got
a security contract out of it.
494
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,257
- Mama gon' be rich.
- Yep.
495
00:18:46,661 --> 00:18:48,413
Well,
what did you guys do?
496
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:51,552
Well, we told him we were gonna
investigate the crap out of him,
497
00:18:51,621 --> 00:18:53,080
And then he just folded
like a house of cards.
498
00:18:53,148 --> 00:18:54,380
- Yep.
- So you bluffed him.
499
00:18:54,456 --> 00:18:55,490
Yes!
Yes, yes, and you know why?
500
00:18:55,558 --> 00:18:58,528
Because I remember at camp
he used to pick on Tommy Mcdonough
501
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:01,427
Until Tommy told him that
his dad knew Chuck Norris,
502
00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:02,622
And then
he just stopped.
503
00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:04,492
- That is awesome.
- Yeah.
504
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,028
Did you meet him?
505
00:19:06,365 --> 00:19:07,434
What?
506
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,014
Did you get to meet chuck?
507
00:19:09,308 --> 00:19:10,661
Nope.
508
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,622
They were bluffing...
509
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,161
Oh.
Just like we did today.
510
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:15,998
- I got you. You... you think?
- Okay, cool.
511
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,912
So, Tommy's father, he...
he's the one who knew chuck?
512
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:19,153
No.
513
00:19:19,863 --> 00:19:21,185
Tommy's father the one
who knew Chuck Norris?
514
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:22,676
Okay, nobody...
515
00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:24,880
Nobody knew
Chuck Norris.
516
00:19:24,949 --> 00:19:26,812
- The dad didn't know Chuck Norris...
- Then what are you dropping
517
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,631
- Chuck Norris' name If nobody knew him?
- Okay, because...
518
00:19:28,699 --> 00:19:31,231
- I'm not dropping the name!
- Guys, guys!
519
00:19:31,752 --> 00:19:34,120
Did either one of you
actually read any of this?
520
00:19:34,189 --> 00:19:36,536
I read the part about
us getting fat stacks of cash.
521
00:19:36,611 --> 00:19:38,447
Yeah, we did.
522
00:19:38,516 --> 00:19:39,582
So he made you employees
523
00:19:39,651 --> 00:19:41,778
In order to give you
the security deal?
524
00:19:41,855 --> 00:19:43,321
Yes, yes,
we are working for him now.
525
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,247
'cause it says here,
"as employees,
526
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:48,049
The undersigned waive all rights
to any future litigation
527
00:19:48,118 --> 00:19:50,153
against said company
into perpetuity."
528
00:19:50,227 --> 00:19:53,106
A.K.A.
Fat stacks of cash.
529
00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:56,161
Actually, now... now that
you say that out loud,
530
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:57,356
It sounds kind of bad.
531
00:19:57,425 --> 00:20:00,638
Yeah, it means that if Alviti
wants to tear down Enzo's,
532
00:20:00,707 --> 00:20:02,770
You guys can't do
anything about it.
533
00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:05,523
He looked me right in the eye,
I'm telling you, and he said,
534
00:20:05,591 --> 00:20:08,027
"What you have is my word,
and it's stronger than Oak."
535
00:20:08,096 --> 00:20:10,499
Oh, dear.
536
00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:13,286
That's a line from the movie
"Jerry Maguire."
537
00:20:14,656 --> 00:20:18,044
Jerry thinks he's representing
Cushman the quarterback,
538
00:20:18,126 --> 00:20:20,388
but then
Beau Bridges' character,
539
00:20:20,481 --> 00:20:23,638
who shakes his hand and says
"My word is stronger than Oak"
540
00:20:23,707 --> 00:20:25,122
Actually screws him over...
541
00:20:25,262 --> 00:20:26,880
Pretty much
destroys his life.
542
00:20:26,979 --> 00:20:30,083
Man, I wish I would've
seen that movie.
543
00:20:30,593 --> 00:20:32,852
I've seen hundred times.
543
00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:39,524
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