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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,825 --> 00:00:03,432 - Hey. Eggnog's ready. - Oh. 2 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,973 I put some brandy in, not knowing Kendra 3 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,775 had already added some rum. 4 00:00:07,809 --> 00:00:09,290 Bottom line, it's gonna be 5 00:00:09,296 --> 00:00:11,200 a very merry Christmas. 6 00:00:12,247 --> 00:00:13,391 I could go for a little nog 7 00:00:13,397 --> 00:00:14,753 after setting up those lights. 8 00:00:14,783 --> 00:00:16,640 Jack, you're too young. It's only for us adults. 9 00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:18,514 Ah! Nice try, Sara. 10 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,089 Come on, there's kid eggnog in the fridge. 11 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,424 Let me get this straight. 12 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,726 You really didn't get me a gift? You're kidding, right? 13 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,594 No. We said we weren't exchanging. 14 00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:29,597 Yeah, but I thought we were doing the thing where 15 00:00:29,603 --> 00:00:31,570 we say we're not getting gifts, but we do anyway. 16 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,001 Then you thought wrong. 17 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,602 Well, still, I got you one. 18 00:00:35,637 --> 00:00:36,904 - I don't want it. - It's a gift. 19 00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:38,238 You got to take it. 20 00:00:38,273 --> 00:00:40,087 - Says who? - Says the rules. 21 00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:44,411 Look, I-I got you one. Now I want mine. 22 00:00:44,446 --> 00:00:45,801 Well, then take the one you were gonna 23 00:00:45,807 --> 00:00:47,019 give me and give it to yourself. 24 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,007 No! I don't want golf balls! 25 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,821 By the way, I got you golf balls. 26 00:00:55,464 --> 00:00:59,293 - Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com - 27 00:01:00,095 --> 00:01:01,728 Hey, how we lookin' on the lights, people? 28 00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:03,564 We are good to go, Mr. Gable. 29 00:01:03,598 --> 00:01:05,677 All right, Jackie boy, hit it. 30 00:01:06,101 --> 00:01:07,422 - Hey, hey! - Yeah! 31 00:01:07,428 --> 00:01:08,502 There you go. 32 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:09,937 So, can we open our presents now? 33 00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:12,708 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow your roll, playa, all right? 34 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,543 You know the rule. Every Christmas Eve... 35 00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:18,045 We get one gift from Santa. 36 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:20,948 That's right, and I hand them out. Let's do it. 37 00:01:20,982 --> 00:01:22,216 So you're saying you're Santa? 38 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,818 No, I'm saying I'm the guy in charge of handing out... 39 00:01:24,853 --> 00:01:26,453 Do you want to play this game? 40 00:01:26,488 --> 00:01:28,956 - I do not. - Yeah. 41 00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:30,224 [DOORBELL RINGS] 42 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,272 Come in! 43 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,494 - Hey. - Hey. Hey. 44 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,629 Merry Christmas, everybody. 45 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,599 I just wanted to drop a few gifts off for the kids. 46 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,267 All right, well, take a seat. 47 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,136 Come on. Yeah, what can we get you to drink? 48 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,338 You want an eggnog? A hot toddy? 49 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,405 What, do you have a hot toddy? 50 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,040 I don't. I-I just like saying it. 51 00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:48,976 Hot toddy? Anybody for a hot toddy? 52 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:51,612 Anybody? Hot toddy? [LAUGHS] 53 00:01:51,646 --> 00:01:54,481 I do it every year. Every year, I toddy it up. 54 00:01:54,516 --> 00:01:56,383 That's cute. No, I-I'm good. 55 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,585 I just want to get home and get into my PJs. 56 00:01:58,620 --> 00:02:00,287 Wait. What? But it's Christmas Eve. 57 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,822 Yeah. It's kind of my thing. 58 00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:04,258 You know, I turn on my fake fireplace, 59 00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:07,727 have some wine, karaoke Donna Summer until I pass out. 60 00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:11,298 All right, look, it's not up for discussion. You're staying. 61 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,600 Chale, can you do me a favor? Can you get her a nog? 62 00:02:13,635 --> 00:02:15,435 - Come on. - All right. Thank you. 63 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:16,608 Oh, I almost forgot. 64 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,038 Got you a little something. 65 00:02:18,146 --> 00:02:19,803 Ah. What is this? 66 00:02:19,809 --> 00:02:20,846 [CHUCKLES] 67 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,743 A box of doughnuts? 68 00:02:22,777 --> 00:02:24,845 - Yeah, from the night we met. - I'm confused. 69 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:27,682 Christmas Eve. Thank you. 23 years ago. 70 00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:31,585 Oh, that's why the doughnuts. 71 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,220 I still don't get it. 72 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,755 How do you not get it? 73 00:02:34,789 --> 00:02:36,523 If I say I get it, can I just... Can I eat the doughnuts? 74 00:02:36,558 --> 00:02:39,793 I am talking about the night we became partners. 75 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,528 I-I'm blanking. [CHUCKLES] 76 00:02:41,563 --> 00:02:42,624 Okay. 77 00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:46,800 We were rookies. We got stuck working together. 78 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,202 I... Really? 79 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,537 [CAR DOOR OPENS] 80 00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:53,707 Hey. How you doing? Vanessa Cellucci. 81 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,576 - Kevin Gable. - Hi. Sorry I'm late. 82 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:58,111 Oh. Happens to all of us. 83 00:02:58,146 --> 00:02:59,785 - Excuse me. - Yeah. 84 00:03:00,715 --> 00:03:03,083 Car 217. Uh, in service. 85 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,465 Sorry for the delay. Was awaiting partner. 86 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,821 We're moving now. 15 minutes late. 87 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,271 - Due to Cellucci. - [POLICE RADIO CHATTER] 88 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,511 Ready to do this? 89 00:03:11,726 --> 00:03:13,093 - Wow. - [ENGINE STARTS] 90 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,828 One second. 91 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,232 [SIREN CHIRPING ERRATICALLY, BUTTONS CLICKING] 92 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,866 What... [CLEARS THROAT] 93 00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:21,435 What are you... What are you doing? 94 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,301 Just testing the equipment. I like to give it a roundabout. 95 00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:26,974 I'm pretty... I'm pretty sure it works. 96 00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:29,376 I'll decide if and when she works. 97 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,089 [SIREN WAILING] 98 00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:32,562 It works. 99 00:03:32,747 --> 00:03:35,616 Thank you. I feel so much safer now. 100 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,317 - Sandwich? - No, thanks. 101 00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:38,619 Training. For the NFL. 102 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:40,687 [LAUGHS] 103 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,599 Oh, you're serious. 104 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,256 Deadly. 105 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,711 So, that's your plan? 106 00:03:46,717 --> 00:03:48,467 Professional football player? 107 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:49,763 That is the plan. 108 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,833 Epic 10-year career on the gridiron, 109 00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:55,569 then circle it back to law enforcement. 110 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:58,666 FBI or... This stays in the car... 111 00:03:58,712 --> 00:04:00,502 CIA. 112 00:04:01,289 --> 00:04:03,690 This doesn't stay in the car... 113 00:04:03,741 --> 00:04:05,233 You're outta your mind. 114 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:07,948 You know what? This engine is fueled 115 00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:10,615 by other people's put-downs, so just keep me gassed up. 116 00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:12,232 - It's fine. - All right. 117 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,806 Come on. 118 00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:17,750 Um, what are you... 119 00:04:17,898 --> 00:04:19,464 What are you doing? 120 00:04:19,494 --> 00:04:21,061 Just these pagers. 121 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,330 Sometimes you got to move 'em around to get a signal. 122 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:26,537 Um, that's not how it works, but okay. 123 00:04:27,248 --> 00:04:29,303 You know what? If you're gonna keep staring at that thing 124 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,211 while you're behind the wheel, 125 00:04:31,217 --> 00:04:33,278 you might as well let me drive. 126 00:04:33,308 --> 00:04:35,142 Why would I do that? 127 00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:36,583 Everybody already knows I'm 128 00:04:36,589 --> 00:04:38,517 the best wheelman at the precinct. 129 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,796 [CHUCKLES] 130 00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:41,520 Well, that changes now. 131 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,417 'Cause I'm here. 132 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:47,287 Oh, right. Forgot, 1994. 133 00:04:47,322 --> 00:04:48,952 Women's lib. 134 00:04:50,325 --> 00:04:52,259 Whatever you want to call it, 135 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,528 I'm just... I'm a better driver. 136 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,163 [SCOFFS] You're... You're a better driver? 137 00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:58,065 - I'm a better driver. - Okay. [LAUGHING] Okay. 138 00:04:58,099 --> 00:04:59,466 [IMITATES KEVIN] O-Okay. 139 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,168 [NORMAL VOICE] All right, you know what? 140 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:02,569 We could just settle this right now. 141 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,005 - You want to do it now? - Yeah, before the Jets call 142 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,414 and your big football career 143 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,040 takes off, of course. I mean... 144 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,938 Let's do this. 145 00:05:11,462 --> 00:05:13,146 Wait, was he really that annoying? 146 00:05:13,181 --> 00:05:15,148 I haven't even gotten to the annoying part yet. 147 00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:17,384 Please, it's called being a good cop. 148 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,755 Yeah, great story. 149 00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:20,128 Can I have my present now? 150 00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:22,050 Jack take it easy. 151 00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,724 It's Christmas, I'm 12. 152 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:24,925 I wanna open something. 153 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,960 All right, here you guys go. Okay? 154 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,729 Now, please tell me you're not doing that thing 155 00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,664 where you give us a bad gift and then the good gifts. 156 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,832 No, I'm not doing anything. 157 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,105 I'm just following Santa's instructions. 158 00:05:34,369 --> 00:05:36,503 - Batteries?! - I got the same thing. 159 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,939 Oh. I guess that's what you guys got this year. 160 00:05:38,973 --> 00:05:40,189 Enjoy it! 161 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,476 Dad, I hate this game. 162 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,744 Can we just go ahead and get the good gift? 163 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,008 Okay, right there, see, that is the 164 00:05:45,014 --> 00:05:46,385 poor attitude, because you know what? 165 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,948 You never know what those batteries 166 00:05:47,982 --> 00:05:49,583 might be for! 167 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,859 Huh? 168 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,253 [PAPER TEARING] 169 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,521 A drone! What?! 170 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,923 Headphones! Thank you. 171 00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:58,558 But these don't need batteries. 172 00:05:58,593 --> 00:05:59,860 Classic fake-out. 173 00:05:59,894 --> 00:06:01,395 Okay, back to the story. 174 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,363 I'm still confused. Where do the doughnuts come in? 175 00:06:03,398 --> 00:06:05,096 I am getting to that. 176 00:06:05,221 --> 00:06:06,500 You ready? 177 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,525 Pfft. Born. 178 00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:10,871 All right, - before we do this, what... 179 00:06:10,905 --> 00:06:12,709 What is the deal with the pager? 180 00:06:14,075 --> 00:06:15,542 It's a private matter, all right? 181 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,810 It doesn't pertain to you. 182 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,412 - It's a girl. - I didn't say that. 183 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:19,946 You didn't have to. What's her name? 184 00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,014 [SIGHS] 185 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,409 If you must know, her name's Nunya. 186 00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:26,186 - Nunya? - Nunya business. 187 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,454 Now get to driving. 188 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,756 All right, buckle up. 189 00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:33,393 [TIRES SCREECH] 190 00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:35,896 Slow down a little bit. Getting a little... 191 00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:37,555 Getting a little unsafe. 192 00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:39,766 Pull up your skirt, Mary. 193 00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:42,135 [TIRES SQUEALING] 194 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,845 [SQUEALING CONTINUES] 195 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,805 [BANGING ON WINDOW] 196 00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:57,024 Okay. All right. 197 00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:58,852 Okay, wait! 198 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,522 Slow down! 199 00:07:02,557 --> 00:07:04,157 [SQUEALING CONTINUES] 200 00:07:04,192 --> 00:07:05,735 [CHUCKLES] 201 00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:07,649 Okay! 202 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:11,631 Biiiiiig finish! 203 00:07:11,666 --> 00:07:13,033 No, no, no! 204 00:07:18,406 --> 00:07:20,499 And... there. 205 00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:23,043 You said something about my driving? 206 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,547 Oh, sounds like Ms. Vanessa 207 00:07:27,582 --> 00:07:31,852 has some mad skills behind the wheel, yo. 208 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,294 Sorry, I was trying out a new thing. 209 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:41,244 Wow, Dad. So she beat you? 210 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,231 L-Look at me. You think she's gonna beat me? 211 00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:46,500 Can you just drive already? 212 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,301 Gonna give you a little "Knight Rider" 213 00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:51,771 with a splash of "Beverly Hills Cop II." 214 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:53,507 - Okay. - By the way, how's it taste? 215 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,976 - How does what taste? - Muh duuuuuust! 216 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:58,578 [TIRES SCREECH] 217 00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:05,185 [TIRES SQUEAL] 218 00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:08,154 [TIRES SCREECHING] 219 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:16,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 220 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:23,550 And that's how it's done, son. 221 00:08:24,539 --> 00:08:25,906 - Car's rolling. - What's that? 222 00:08:25,912 --> 00:08:27,880 Car... is... rolling. 223 00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:32,345 [CRASH, GLASS SHATTERS] 224 00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:38,402 You drove a cop car into a ditch? 225 00:08:38,408 --> 00:08:41,209 No, what happened was my driving was sick. 226 00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:43,278 And then I got out of the car and, yeah, 227 00:08:43,312 --> 00:08:45,480 I-it rolled into a ditch. So that did... it happened. 228 00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:46,948 All right, you know what? Let's just, uh, keep in moving. 229 00:08:46,983 --> 00:08:48,150 What do you say? Okay? 230 00:08:48,184 --> 00:08:50,204 Uh, Kendra and Chale, here you go. 231 00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,445 - Oh! Thank you. - Huh? 232 00:08:53,523 --> 00:08:56,024 Oh, batteries. I love it. 233 00:08:56,058 --> 00:08:57,730 I wonder what these could go with. 234 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,172 Oh, no. You're doing it wrong. 235 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,107 It's supposed to be, "Ooh, batteries! I love it. 236 00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:03,410 "I wonder what these could go with." 237 00:09:05,093 --> 00:09:06,661 Oh, what? A camera? 238 00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:08,780 This is actually awesome. Thank you, Dad. 239 00:09:08,786 --> 00:09:10,320 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 240 00:09:10,374 --> 00:09:12,676 Oh, a power strip! 241 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,819 I wonder what I could plug into this. 242 00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:18,322 Whatever you want, guy. 243 00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,886 So, excuse me. Will there... 244 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,732 There will be a companion gift? 245 00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:25,162 No. That's all Santa wanted you to have. 246 00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,801 He knows you're into electronics 247 00:09:26,807 --> 00:09:29,041 and pluggy things, so go crazy. 248 00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:30,568 Oh. 249 00:09:30,602 --> 00:09:33,170 Oh, uh, there is a surge protector, 250 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:35,028 so that's very thoughtful. 251 00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:36,401 - Thank you. - You're very welcome. 252 00:09:36,407 --> 00:09:37,473 - All right. Come on. - Dad. 253 00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:39,375 - What? He's happy. - Hold up. 254 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:42,245 So, Chale gets an awesome power strip, and I get nothin'? 255 00:09:42,279 --> 00:09:44,280 [SCOFFS] This is a joke. 256 00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:48,051 Uh, okay, so what happened with the car in the ditch? 257 00:09:48,085 --> 00:09:49,686 Did Dad get in trouble? 258 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,088 Uh, well, you could say that. 259 00:09:52,122 --> 00:09:55,425 Well, sir, currently the car is un-driveable. 260 00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:56,933 I don't know. You might have to talk 261 00:09:56,939 --> 00:09:58,525 to Officer Gable about that. 262 00:09:59,296 --> 00:10:01,731 Yes, he is. He is so that. 263 00:10:01,765 --> 00:10:03,099 [LAUGHS] 264 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,035 He is so that. 265 00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:07,995 Okay, thank you so much, sir. 266 00:10:08,639 --> 00:10:10,473 They can't get to us for another couple of hours. 267 00:10:10,507 --> 00:10:12,642 Okay, w-what was all that about? You sold me out? 268 00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:14,410 Oh, yeah. You see how it feels? 269 00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:17,336 "Uh, we're a minute late because of Cellucci. Uh, 215..." 270 00:10:17,815 --> 00:10:19,682 All right. Fine. We're even, okay? 271 00:10:19,717 --> 00:10:21,050 - All right. - It doesn't matter anyway. 272 00:10:21,085 --> 00:10:23,453 I called my brother. He's got a truck with a winch on it. 273 00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:24,821 He can pull us out of the ditch. 274 00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:26,623 - How long? - I don't know, about an hour. 275 00:10:26,657 --> 00:10:28,552 Ugh. So, we're stuck here. 276 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,166 Let's see, I might do a little moo shu pork. 277 00:10:32,496 --> 00:10:35,231 That sounds good. Or a little beef lo mein. 278 00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:38,450 You know, maybe I'll get insane in the lo mein. 279 00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:40,616 Ooh. 280 00:10:40,738 --> 00:10:42,872 Ooh, I didn't see you, number 13 281 00:10:42,906 --> 00:10:45,475 with your spicy noodles coming 'round the outside, 282 00:10:45,509 --> 00:10:47,108 'round the outside. 283 00:10:49,146 --> 00:10:50,580 - What are you gonna get? - Soup. 284 00:10:50,614 --> 00:10:52,115 Soup. 285 00:10:52,149 --> 00:10:53,871 Oh, boy. 286 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,787 Okay, you know what? I have spent about an hour with you, 287 00:10:57,821 --> 00:11:01,090 and I-I pretty much understand why she is not paging you. 288 00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:03,626 I don't even know if they know we're here. I'll be right back. 289 00:11:03,661 --> 00:11:05,862 This guy is killing me. 290 00:11:07,197 --> 00:11:08,831 Hey, sir, can we, uh, get a waitr... 291 00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:11,271 I'm sorry, sir, it's $8.50. 292 00:11:11,607 --> 00:11:13,569 If you don't have it, you gotta go. 293 00:11:13,604 --> 00:11:15,038 Well, you can take the won tons out. 294 00:11:15,072 --> 00:11:16,939 How mu... How much... How much then? How much then? 295 00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:18,641 You know what? Do me a favor. 296 00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:21,838 Um, you can just put that on our tab. 297 00:11:22,588 --> 00:11:24,180 Oh, thank you very much. 298 00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:25,989 Yeah, no problem. And, hey, here. 299 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,738 Have a merry Christmas, okay? 300 00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:32,229 Can you get us a waitress over there? Thanks. 301 00:11:32,523 --> 00:11:34,657 Dad, that's so sweet you helped that guy out. 302 00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:36,359 Yeah, he gave him $18. 303 00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:38,127 $18? That's a weird amount. 304 00:11:38,162 --> 00:11:41,764 Well, that's all he had on him. He gave him every penny. 305 00:11:41,799 --> 00:11:45,334 And that's when I realized that your dad was a decent guy. 306 00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:47,570 I mean, he's done a lot of other stuff since then 307 00:11:47,604 --> 00:11:49,716 to reverse that, but... 308 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,445 Yeah, kinda like now. 309 00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:55,411 Why would you do that to Chale? 310 00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:57,380 Oh, no, darling. I love this. 311 00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:59,248 It... It has seven plugs. 312 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:00,817 That's like seven different gifts. 313 00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:02,452 Mm-hmm. 314 00:12:02,486 --> 00:12:04,087 Well, if you don't say something, I will. 315 00:12:04,121 --> 00:12:06,826 I don't want to ruin Christmas. 316 00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:10,927 Okay, uh, Vanessa, we have a homeless man, 317 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:13,096 $18, and a car in a ditch. 318 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:14,869 I'm all in. Let's go. 319 00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:18,067 Where is this brother of yours? 320 00:12:18,102 --> 00:12:20,411 Well, he's getting off of work. He'll be here soon. 321 00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:24,340 Oh, yeah. Fortune cookies. 322 00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:25,641 [LAUGHS] 323 00:12:25,676 --> 00:12:26,909 I wonder what my future holds. 324 00:12:26,944 --> 00:12:28,811 Yeah. What does yours say? 325 00:12:28,846 --> 00:12:30,580 "Always make sure your car is in park"? 326 00:12:30,614 --> 00:12:32,448 Ha! 327 00:12:32,483 --> 00:12:34,319 Come on, man. That's funny. 328 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:38,214 "All your fingers can't be the same length." 329 00:12:38,422 --> 00:12:40,156 What? I don't even know what that means. 330 00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:41,807 All right, you know, this one... this one is yours. 331 00:12:41,856 --> 00:12:42,893 Okay. 332 00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:47,063 Oh, my God, again with the pager? 333 00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:49,298 - What is it with this girl? - All right, look. 334 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,634 I met her last week at Mulcahy's, all right? 335 00:12:51,668 --> 00:12:52,927 We connected. I'm... 336 00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:54,442 I'm waiting for her to call. 337 00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:55,972 So call her. 338 00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:58,244 I don't have her number. She asked for mine. 339 00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,682 Oh, boy. 340 00:13:00,682 --> 00:13:01,878 But it's a good thing. 341 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:04,013 Yeah, no. No, it's not a good thing. 342 00:13:04,047 --> 00:13:06,115 Okay, walk me through the night that you met her. 343 00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:08,851 All right, well, first off, I walked up to the bar, 344 00:13:08,886 --> 00:13:13,491 saw my buddy Scotty and was like, "Wazaaaaaa." 345 00:13:14,158 --> 00:13:16,946 And he was like, "Wazaaaaa." 346 00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:20,196 I saw my buddy Gerard, he was like, "Wazaaa..." 347 00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:22,265 Okay. Okay, all right. 348 00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:24,467 Not the... I don't need the whole... the whole night. 349 00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:26,969 Just get to the part where you talked to her, please. 350 00:13:27,004 --> 00:13:28,971 Okay, so I-I walk up to her... 351 00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:30,373 - Yeah. - ...and I thought about saying, 352 00:13:30,407 --> 00:13:32,742 "Wazaaaa," but I didn't. 353 00:13:32,776 --> 00:13:34,477 Good. Good call. 354 00:13:34,511 --> 00:13:36,546 I decided right then I was gonna just say, 355 00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:38,314 "Y-You... You look nice." 356 00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:41,017 And, uh, I-I bought her a drink. 357 00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:42,819 - Okay. - And then, uh, you know, 358 00:13:42,853 --> 00:13:44,320 she asked me if I was seeing anybody. 359 00:13:44,354 --> 00:13:46,823 And I said, "Uh, nobody serious." 360 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:48,191 - Oh, boy. - What? 361 00:13:48,225 --> 00:13:50,631 I wanted to let her know I had other fish on the line. 362 00:13:51,089 --> 00:13:52,662 Do you have other fish on the line? 363 00:13:52,696 --> 00:13:53,963 I might. You never know. 364 00:13:53,997 --> 00:13:55,097 Do you have other fish on the line? 365 00:13:55,132 --> 00:13:56,399 - It depends on how you categorize... - Okay. 366 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:57,533 Do you have other fish on the line?! 367 00:13:57,568 --> 00:13:59,602 - Just answer the question! - No! I don't. 368 00:14:00,182 --> 00:14:01,968 I don't know why guys do this. 369 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,823 This never works. 370 00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:05,274 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, 371 00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:08,044 but this girl is never going to call you. 372 00:14:08,078 --> 00:14:09,274 Like, ever. 373 00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:12,715 This is the saddest Christmas story ever. 374 00:14:12,749 --> 00:14:14,283 No, you sitting there with a power strip, 375 00:14:14,318 --> 00:14:15,769 not speaking your mind is the 376 00:14:15,775 --> 00:14:17,325 saddest Christmas story ever. 377 00:14:17,354 --> 00:14:18,588 - You know what? I can't take it. - No, no. Darling. Darling... 378 00:14:18,622 --> 00:14:20,156 Dad, you need to understand something. 379 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,958 ...darling, darling. Don't. She's three eggnogs in. 380 00:14:21,992 --> 00:14:23,526 No. 381 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,820 Everybody in the family gets 382 00:14:24,826 --> 00:14:26,400 a bad gift and then a good gift. 383 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,788 Chale's in the family, and all he got was a bad one. 384 00:14:28,794 --> 00:14:31,596 Really? Well, maybe you wanna look again. 385 00:14:31,735 --> 00:14:33,436 Oh, he's right. 386 00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,704 We may need to return this. 387 00:14:34,738 --> 00:14:36,806 It's only for use in Europe. 388 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,341 Why would Santa give you something 389 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,877 you can only use in Europe? Weird. 390 00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:43,999 I don't know. I-I just wish none of this was happening. 391 00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:48,794 Maybe because he's giving you a trip... to Italy! 392 00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:50,319 - What? - Uh! 393 00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:51,954 You're both going to the honeymoon 394 00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:54,390 you never had in Rome, okay? 395 00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:57,009 - Oh! Thank you, Dad! - All right? Okay. 396 00:14:57,421 --> 00:14:58,488 Ahh! 397 00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:00,129 It's Christmas. Just make it fast. 398 00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,231 All right, there you go. There you go. 399 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:04,427 Rome, huh? Fancy. 400 00:15:08,138 --> 00:15:09,772 Hold on. Wait a second. I just thought of something. 401 00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:12,341 Mulcahy's? Didn't you meet Mom at Mulcahy's? 402 00:15:12,376 --> 00:15:13,392 I did. 403 00:15:13,398 --> 00:15:15,523 So, she's the girl in the story? 404 00:15:16,013 --> 00:15:17,447 Yep. 405 00:15:17,881 --> 00:15:22,059 Oh, this story just got mad interesting, yo. 406 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:27,890 I tried it again. I thought the second time would save it. 407 00:15:27,925 --> 00:15:29,592 It didn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't. 408 00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:32,513 All right, you're good to go. 409 00:15:32,677 --> 00:15:34,945 Hey, never doubt the power of the Suzuki Samurai. 410 00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,747 More than just a chick magnet. 411 00:15:36,781 --> 00:15:39,116 Thanks! Now I'm gonna do you a favor. 412 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,584 Hey, dude, what are you...? 413 00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:42,119 How'd you know that was a clip-on? 414 00:15:42,153 --> 00:15:43,461 I didn't. 415 00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:48,092 Wow. What's the deal with this little filly? 416 00:15:48,126 --> 00:15:50,728 Eh, a little thick on the bottom. I'm diggin' it. 417 00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:52,978 Kyle Gable. FDNY. 418 00:15:53,598 --> 00:15:55,566 Vanessa Cellucci. NGH. 419 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,269 - NGH? - Never gonna happen. 420 00:15:59,738 --> 00:16:03,233 Wazaaa! 421 00:16:03,909 --> 00:16:06,510 You know what? Car's been in a ditch for a couple hours. 422 00:16:06,545 --> 00:16:08,445 Probably should test the equipment, 423 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,613 - make sure it's operational. - [SLAPS HAND] 424 00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:12,838 Touch the sirens and I cut your hand off. 425 00:16:14,286 --> 00:16:15,486 I'm sure it's fine. 426 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,732 So this girl, you really like her, huh? 427 00:16:19,257 --> 00:16:21,238 I don't know, just, uh, 428 00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:23,999 something different about her. 429 00:16:24,337 --> 00:16:25,763 I know it's gonna sound crazy, 430 00:16:25,797 --> 00:16:28,322 but I just think she might... 431 00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:31,393 She might be the one. I don't know. 432 00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:34,772 Okay. And your plan to get her is what? 433 00:16:34,806 --> 00:16:36,740 Sit back and wait for her to call you? 434 00:16:36,775 --> 00:16:38,469 You know, when you say it like that, 435 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,120 it sounds kinda lame. Yeah, okay. 436 00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:44,415 - What're you doing? - Okay, we're here. Get out. 437 00:16:44,449 --> 00:16:46,951 - We're where? - Your girl's house. 438 00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:50,521 You told me her name, so I ran it through dispatch. 439 00:16:50,555 --> 00:16:52,356 There were two. One was 96. 440 00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:54,325 Now, I don't know your type, but I... 441 00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:57,061 I took a guess and went with the younger one. 442 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,585 Okay. So, this is the part where you get out 443 00:17:02,849 --> 00:17:04,991 - and you go up there. - Yeah, I am. Okay? I am. I j... 444 00:17:04,997 --> 00:17:06,698 I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna... 445 00:17:06,732 --> 00:17:08,547 [CLEARS THROAT] Just gonna... 446 00:17:10,069 --> 00:17:14,338 Hiyah. La la la la. Laaa. 447 00:17:14,727 --> 00:17:16,107 Buy me a red leather yellow... 448 00:17:16,142 --> 00:17:18,276 - Okay. - Yeah, I'm... I'm gonna go, okay? 449 00:17:18,311 --> 00:17:20,933 I'm just... You just got to give me a second. 450 00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:26,618 Yaaaa. Yaaaa. 451 00:17:26,652 --> 00:17:29,254 You're not singing the National Anthem, 452 00:17:29,288 --> 00:17:31,223 you're just going to talk to a girl. 453 00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:32,858 - Now let's go. - I'm going, okay? 454 00:17:32,892 --> 00:17:34,659 Just, would you gimme a second, please? 455 00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:36,194 Wow. You are scared. 456 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,742 I'm not... I'm not scared, okay? 457 00:17:38,748 --> 00:17:41,178 There's a lot of pressure, and I don't want to look bad. 458 00:17:41,184 --> 00:17:43,319 Yeah, that's scared. 459 00:17:44,743 --> 00:17:47,445 Now, come on. We drove all the way here. 460 00:17:47,518 --> 00:17:50,320 One of us is leaving with this girl's phone number. 461 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,517 And I guess it's gonna be me. 462 00:17:53,953 --> 00:17:55,647 Where you go... Where you going? 463 00:17:55,653 --> 00:17:57,255 Hey! Hey! 464 00:17:57,338 --> 00:17:58,805 Put in a good word for me! 465 00:17:59,051 --> 00:18:01,419 Okay, wait. So, if Vanessa hadn't dragged you over there, 466 00:18:01,454 --> 00:18:03,255 you and Mom would've never gotten together? 467 00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:05,824 Yes. Yes! Oh, my God. 468 00:18:05,858 --> 00:18:08,093 So, all of this? You are welcome. 469 00:18:08,127 --> 00:18:10,095 Oh, are you... are you out of your mind? What? 470 00:18:10,129 --> 00:18:11,551 No, I'm the one who got us together. 471 00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:12,815 She just... She set the table. 472 00:18:12,821 --> 00:18:15,734 - S-So what happened? - All right, you're fine. 473 00:18:15,768 --> 00:18:17,269 All you gotta do is go up there. 474 00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:18,436 What... What'd you say? 475 00:18:18,471 --> 00:18:20,679 - Well, I told her you were an idiot. - What? 476 00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:23,660 Uh, trust me, that was not breaking news. 477 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,609 - Why would you say that? - Okay, but then I told her 478 00:18:27,713 --> 00:18:30,115 that underneath all that stupidity, 479 00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:32,089 there's like... three more layers of bad stuff, 480 00:18:32,095 --> 00:18:33,922 but underneath all that, 481 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:35,815 there's actually a decent guy under there, 482 00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:37,344 and she should give you a shot. 483 00:18:38,457 --> 00:18:40,052 You r... You really said that about me? 484 00:18:40,058 --> 00:18:42,861 Yeah. And then we talked about the night you guys met 485 00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:45,397 and how you did this weird, crinkled 486 00:18:45,403 --> 00:18:47,767 eyebrow thing with the muddle mouth. 487 00:18:47,773 --> 00:18:49,076 I don't know what you're talking about. 488 00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:50,511 - I don't even do that. - She... kind of like it. 489 00:18:50,517 --> 00:18:52,084 - Really? - Yeah. 490 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:53,667 That's the one. 491 00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,453 - That is. All right, well then I... - There it is. I can see it. 492 00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:56,742 Yeah. I knew it worked. 493 00:18:56,776 --> 00:18:58,644 - Get up there. Get up there. - All right, I'm going. 494 00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:00,024 Hey. Cellucci, thank you. 495 00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:01,048 You're welcome. 496 00:19:01,054 --> 00:19:02,922 Oh, and that muddle-face thing? 497 00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:04,956 - Yeah. - Like, small doses maybe. 498 00:19:05,465 --> 00:19:06,866 I disagree. 499 00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:10,689 I can't believe you forgot 500 00:19:10,695 --> 00:19:12,343 everything Vanessa did for you. 501 00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:15,051 Y-You're right. I totally forgot. 502 00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:18,604 Or... did I?! 503 00:19:19,256 --> 00:19:21,157 Stop. Come on. 504 00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:24,060 "Vanessa, thanks for being a great partner. 505 00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:25,744 "And remember, all of your fingers 506 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,869 "can't be the same length. Kevin." 507 00:19:27,898 --> 00:19:31,234 I also got you a gift card for a mud-mask for your face. 508 00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:35,472 Aww, guys, this is actually really sweet. 509 00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:37,407 All right, hold the phone. 510 00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:40,577 Lest we forget, without my Suzuki Samurai, 511 00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:42,378 none of us would be here right now. 512 00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:44,047 And once again, I've been overlooked. 513 00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:46,375 Kyle, we made an agreement. We're not 514 00:19:46,381 --> 00:19:47,989 exchanging gifts. It was your idea! 515 00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:49,953 All right, well, I-I'm leaving with something, okay? 516 00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:51,631 Uh, these doughnuts right here? 517 00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:52,961 Yeah, these are mine now. 518 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:56,626 Merry Christmas, and to all a good night. 519 00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,174 Peace out! 520 00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:01,698 [CHRISTMAS BELLS JINGLE, DOOR CLOSES] 521 00:20:01,732 --> 00:20:03,266 [DOOR OPENS] 522 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,235 Vanessa, you're blocking me in. 523 00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:11,241 - Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com - 524 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:18,278 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 37803

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