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We are gathered here today
to immortalise in song
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the life and untimely
death of a great legend.
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- Rango.
- So sit back, relax,
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00:01:26,181 --> 00:01:30,058
and enjoy your low-calorie
popcorn and assorted confections
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00:01:30,185 --> 00:01:34,980
while we tell you the strange
and bewildering tale of a hero
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who has yet to enter his own story.
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Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake.
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00:01:57,253 --> 00:01:59,421
Okay, everybody, let's
take it from the top.
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The stage is set, the night
moist with apprehension.
10
00:02:04,344 --> 00:02:08,347
Alone in her chamber, the princess
prepares to take her own life.
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00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:12,935
"It is far better to nourish
worms than to live without love."
12
00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:14,937
She reaches for the poisoned chalice.
13
00:02:15,063 --> 00:02:18,398
Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio
plots his ascension to the throne
14
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,901
while her ageing
father lies gravely ill.
15
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,570
"Yes, I am gravely ill."
16
00:02:24,781 --> 00:02:26,907
"Hark, who goes there?"
17
00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:29,535
'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero,
18
00:02:29,619 --> 00:02:32,287
returning to rescue his
emotionally unstable maiden!
19
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,456
Unhand her, you jailers of virtue,
20
00:02:34,541 --> 00:02:37,417
or taste the bitter
sting of my vengeance!
21
00:02:38,461 --> 00:02:40,420
The sting of my...
22
00:02:43,049 --> 00:02:44,299
Dr Marx?
23
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,052
Dr Marx, I'm not getting
anything from you.
24
00:02:47,136 --> 00:02:51,056
People, we've talked about
this. Acting is reacting.
25
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:53,642
Victor, you were
wooden! There, I said it.
26
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:55,602
Mr Timms? You were good.
27
00:02:57,063 --> 00:02:58,772
Perhaps a little too good.
28
00:02:59,274 --> 00:03:03,068
What's that, Victor? My character's
undefined? That's absurd.
29
00:03:03,152 --> 00:03:08,156
I know who I am. I'm the guy,
the protagonist, the hero.
30
00:03:08,283 --> 00:03:12,244
Every story needs a hero. I
mean, who else is better qualified
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00:03:12,328 --> 00:03:15,998
to bask in the adulation
of his numerous companions?
32
00:03:34,976 --> 00:03:36,852
The stage is waiting.
33
00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:40,022
The audience thirsts for adventure.
34
00:03:42,317 --> 00:03:43,859
Who am I?
35
00:03:44,861 --> 00:03:46,445
I could be anyone.
36
00:03:46,863 --> 00:03:51,366
I could be the sea cap'n
returning from a mighty voyage
37
00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:53,660
to reclaim his mechanical arm!
38
00:03:55,163 --> 00:03:59,291
Or I could be the rogue anthropologist,
battling pythons down in the Congo!
39
00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:01,126
Down, Chongo, down!
40
00:04:01,878 --> 00:04:04,129
And if you desire romance,
41
00:04:05,548 --> 00:04:08,717
I will become the greatest
lover the world has ever known!
42
00:04:15,642 --> 00:04:19,811
I couldn't help but notice
you noticing me noticing you.
43
00:04:19,896 --> 00:04:23,649
You know, the womens find me
uncomfortably good looking.
44
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:26,193
But you seem remarkably at ease.
45
00:04:26,653 --> 00:04:28,487
Stop it. No, really.
46
00:04:28,571 --> 00:04:30,989
Well, if you must. What are you doing?
47
00:04:31,074 --> 00:04:33,075
That tickles. Are those real?
48
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,328
That's it! Conflict.
49
00:04:36,412 --> 00:04:38,997
Victor, you were right.
I have been undefined.
50
00:04:39,832 --> 00:04:44,211
People, I've had an epiphany.
The hero cannot exist in a vacuum!
51
00:04:44,379 --> 00:04:47,422
What our story needs is
an ironic, unexpected event
52
00:04:47,507 --> 00:04:50,258
that will propel the hero into conflict!
53
00:05:46,816 --> 00:06:09,421
Mr Timms?
54
00:06:30,109 --> 00:06:32,110
That's right! You!
55
00:06:33,488 --> 00:06:35,489
Don't be shy. Come on.
56
00:06:35,907 --> 00:06:37,699
It's okay.
57
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:39,785
That's it, a little closer.
58
00:06:41,287 --> 00:06:42,454
Good.
59
00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:44,748
I won't bite you.
60
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,877
I need a little help here.
61
00:06:49,504 --> 00:06:50,754
Are you okay?
62
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,882
I must get to the other side.
63
00:06:53,966 --> 00:06:56,760
The other side? You mean, just
now, that was you crossing the road?
64
00:06:56,844 --> 00:06:58,136
That's why the...
65
00:06:59,305 --> 00:07:00,555
Why'd you do that?
66
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,767
This is my quest. He waits for me.
67
00:07:03,851 --> 00:07:05,227
What? Who?
68
00:07:05,311 --> 00:07:08,897
The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one.
69
00:07:08,981 --> 00:07:13,360
They say he rides an alabaster carriage
with golden guardians to protect him.
70
00:07:13,444 --> 00:07:15,237
What are you talking about?
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00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:18,698
Enlightenment. We are
nothing without it.
72
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,410
Nothing? Your delusional
quest just ruined my life!
73
00:07:22,495 --> 00:07:24,955
I had an incredibly complex
social network going!
74
00:07:25,039 --> 00:07:27,916
Highly sophisticated
friends! I was very popular!
75
00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:30,126
Friends? I don't see no friends.
76
00:07:32,797 --> 00:07:34,714
You are a very lonely lizard.
77
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:38,927
Look, I need water, hydration.
My teeth are chapped.
78
00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:41,179
I need lotion. I'm down to
one layer of skin already.
79
00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:43,019
Pretty soon, I'm going to
start seeing my insides.
80
00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:45,725
Not unlike what you've got going there.
81
00:07:45,852 --> 00:07:47,644
Listen, I can't survive
in the desert, okay?
82
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,646
I... I don't belong here.
83
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:53,024
That may be true, but here you are.
84
00:07:54,235 --> 00:07:58,572
Now help me up and I will
help you find what you seek.
85
00:07:58,656 --> 00:08:01,157
- You will?
- And perhaps more.
86
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:03,285
Quickly. I must get back to my quest.
87
00:08:03,578 --> 00:08:07,038
- You mean you've done this before?
- Yes. Many times.
88
00:08:07,707 --> 00:08:10,625
Come, come. That's it, pull my finger.
89
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,711
The Spirit is waiting for me.
90
00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:14,546
Okay, okay.
91
00:08:19,969 --> 00:08:22,262
Okay. That's not going to work.
92
00:08:22,346 --> 00:08:24,306
I must get to the other side.
93
00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:27,892
Why don't you just wait until
there are no cars coming?
94
00:08:27,977 --> 00:08:29,644
It's not so easy as it looks.
95
00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:30,770
What?
96
00:08:31,022 --> 00:08:32,272
Is a metaphor.
97
00:09:02,845 --> 00:09:04,012
There's another one!
98
00:09:05,848 --> 00:09:06,931
I knew it.
99
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:20,278
You need a little help, amigo?
100
00:09:20,363 --> 00:09:23,448
I think the metaphor broke my spleen.
101
00:09:23,532 --> 00:09:26,117
The path to knowledge is
fraught with consequence.
102
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:29,037
I'm just looking for the path to water.
103
00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:33,833
If you want to find water,
you must first find Dirt.
104
00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:36,336
Dirt.
105
00:09:37,129 --> 00:09:39,547
Destiny, she is kind to you.
106
00:09:39,674 --> 00:09:42,550
Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes.
107
00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:47,180
At noon, the townspeople
gather for a mysterious ritual.
108
00:09:48,391 --> 00:09:52,143
A town? You mean, with real
people and everything? Where?
109
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:55,063
A day's journey. Follow your shadow.
110
00:09:56,857 --> 00:10:00,318
You want me to just
walk out into the desert?
111
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:01,486
That's the way.
112
00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:03,988
Okay. So you're saying
113
00:10:04,073 --> 00:10:07,659
there's a town, a real
town, not a metaphor town.
114
00:10:07,743 --> 00:10:09,244
Go on. It's okay.
115
00:10:09,745 --> 00:10:10,912
Okay.
116
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:12,997
Well, then, I'm going.
117
00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:16,418
I am leaving the road now!
118
00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:20,004
I'm walking into the desert!
119
00:10:20,589 --> 00:10:21,756
Alone!
120
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,426
We all have our journeys to make!
121
00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:27,762
I will see you on the other side.
122
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,029
Welcome, amigo
123
00:10:45,114 --> 00:10:48,116
To the land without end
124
00:10:48,617 --> 00:10:51,369
The desert and death
125
00:10:51,454 --> 00:10:55,373
Are the closest of friends
126
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:58,376
We sing of his courage
127
00:10:58,461 --> 00:11:01,713
In magnificent song
128
00:11:01,797 --> 00:11:04,632
But pay close attention
129
00:11:04,717 --> 00:11:07,635
He won't be here long
130
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,059
As the birds pluck his eyes
The sun bleaches his bones
131
00:11:15,144 --> 00:11:20,148
See his entrails get scattered
Watch him lose his cojones
132
00:11:26,781 --> 00:11:29,073
Here in the Mojave Desert,
133
00:11:29,158 --> 00:11:34,412
animals have had millions of years
to adapt to the harsh environment.
134
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:37,749
But the lizard? He is going to die.
135
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,503
"Four score and seven
years ago, our fathers..."
136
00:11:41,587 --> 00:11:43,671
- Don't move.
- What?
137
00:11:49,678 --> 00:11:51,596
- Don't move!
- Not moving.
138
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:52,764
Not moving.
139
00:11:52,848 --> 00:11:55,016
Try to blend in.
140
00:11:55,142 --> 00:11:56,684
Blend in? What do you mean?
141
00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:01,689
Blend in.
142
00:12:01,816 --> 00:12:03,525
What are you saying?
143
00:12:05,361 --> 00:12:06,949
- Too late.
- No, no. It's not too late!
144
00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:09,280
I'm blending! I'm a blender!
145
00:12:09,532 --> 00:12:11,491
Hey, calm down! What are you doing?
146
00:12:14,578 --> 00:12:15,912
Stop moving!
147
00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:18,248
Try not to look conspicuous.
148
00:12:27,925 --> 00:12:29,305
- What are you doing?
- I'm blending.
149
00:12:29,385 --> 00:12:31,223
- Go blend somewhere else.
- Don't distract me.
150
00:12:31,303 --> 00:12:33,142
- No room at the inn.
- It's an art, not a science.
151
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:35,222
- Find your own hiding place.
- No, this is good.
152
00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:36,616
Here she comes!
153
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:37,876
You better run, Mojito!
154
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:41,855
- What? I thought you said, "Don't move."
- That was before. Now, you run.
155
00:13:29,236 --> 00:13:31,237
Oh, hey. Proboscis.
156
00:13:31,906 --> 00:13:32,947
Testy.
157
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,797
Please, no, please. I have
vertigo! My glands are swelling!
158
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,467
Please, no.
159
00:14:00,851 --> 00:14:04,437
You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard!
160
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:06,543
Get out of there.
I'm going to strangle your huevos!
161
00:14:06,623 --> 00:14:08,316
Big bird! Big bird!
162
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:11,903
No, wait! Come back!
I was just kidding!
163
00:14:11,987 --> 00:14:13,909
- Come on, we're friends, right?
- I don't know you!
164
00:14:13,989 --> 00:14:15,786
- Lizards, frogs...
- Find your own hiding place!
165
00:14:15,866 --> 00:14:17,538
- We're practically related!
- No room at the inn!
166
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:19,039
- Come on, move over!
- You're not my friend!
167
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,245
I'll let you kiss my sister!
168
00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:31,881
You son of a...
169
00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:29,856
Where are your friends now, amigo?
170
00:15:58,385 --> 00:16:01,179
Get your slimy-webbed
phalanges off my boots!
171
00:16:02,264 --> 00:16:03,306
Sorry.
172
00:16:03,390 --> 00:16:06,642
I got a bead on you, stranger.
So you get up real slow
173
00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:08,190
lessen you want to spend the better part
174
00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:10,150
of the afternoon putting
your face back together!
175
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,940
- No, ma'am, I don't.
- Who are you?
176
00:16:13,025 --> 00:16:15,359
- Who am I?
- I'm asking the questions here!
177
00:16:15,444 --> 00:16:17,904
Our town is drying up. We're
in the middle of a drought.
178
00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:19,739
Now someone's dumping
water in the desert!
179
00:16:19,823 --> 00:16:21,949
It's a puzzle of undeterminable
size and dimension,
180
00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:24,869
but I intend to find out what
role you playing in all this.
181
00:16:24,953 --> 00:16:27,580
- Role?
- What are you involved in?
182
00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:30,208
Well, I'm glad you asked.
183
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:33,419
I've got two one-acts, a mystery
and a musical I've been gestating.
184
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:36,631
I got the words, I'm just working on
the melody right now. It's like a...
185
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,055
I think it's gonna be a western.
186
00:16:40,135 --> 00:16:42,762
A monkey got a cracker
His mother was a slapper
187
00:16:42,846 --> 00:16:46,474
She'll be coming 'round
the mountain in the rain
188
00:16:47,726 --> 00:16:50,645
You ain't from around here, are you?
189
00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:53,981
I'm still working on it.
190
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:56,901
So, what's your name?
191
00:16:57,611 --> 00:16:59,529
- Beans.
- That's a funny kind of name.
192
00:16:59,613 --> 00:17:02,573
What can I say? My daddy
plumb loved baked beans.
193
00:17:02,658 --> 00:17:04,413
Well, you're lucky he
didn't plumb love asparagus.
194
00:17:04,493 --> 00:17:05,701
What are you saying?
195
00:17:05,786 --> 00:17:07,870
I mean, I enjoy a
hearty puttanesca myself,
196
00:17:07,955 --> 00:17:10,252
but I'm not sure that a child
would appreciate the moniker.
197
00:17:10,332 --> 00:17:14,961
My daddy was a great man, even if he
did exhibit a proclivity for legumes.
198
00:17:15,045 --> 00:17:17,588
- Spicy.
- You're eating his ashes!
199
00:17:18,966 --> 00:17:20,133
You carry his remains?
200
00:17:20,217 --> 00:17:23,511
No, his ashes. He loved to
smoke. They never found the body.
201
00:17:23,595 --> 00:17:25,596
Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.
202
00:17:25,681 --> 00:17:27,682
- What are you implying?
- Nothing.
203
00:17:27,766 --> 00:17:29,767
My daddy was never near that mine shaft.
204
00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,435
He'd been sober for over a month!
205
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,485
And for you to insinuate that he would
abandon his parental responsibilities
206
00:17:34,565 --> 00:17:38,526
at a delicate time in my personal
development is an affront to my sense...
207
00:17:42,197 --> 00:17:43,573
Miss Beans?
208
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:46,826
Miss Beans? Hello?
209
00:17:48,787 --> 00:17:49,871
Hello?
210
00:18:06,138 --> 00:18:08,014
And until the people of Andromeda Five
211
00:18:08,098 --> 00:18:11,267
return him safe and sound,
I will not sell my ranch!
212
00:18:12,644 --> 00:18:14,979
- What... What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
213
00:18:15,063 --> 00:18:16,939
- What am I doing?
- You're cuddling me.
214
00:18:17,024 --> 00:18:18,441
- You were frozen.
- I was not.
215
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:20,443
Yes, you were. You stopped talking.
216
00:18:20,527 --> 00:18:23,821
It's a defence mechanism.
Actually, lots of lizards have it.
217
00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:25,114
You're making that up.
218
00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:28,163
So, you gonna die out here,
or you want a ride into town?
219
00:18:28,243 --> 00:18:32,205
No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes,
please. Thank you. Sorry.
220
00:18:32,289 --> 00:18:36,042
Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's
when we all get to it.
221
00:18:36,793 --> 00:18:38,252
So who are you, really?
222
00:18:38,337 --> 00:18:40,087
Well, I'm a man of many epithets.
223
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:42,548
There's my stage name,
my pen name, my avatar.
224
00:18:42,633 --> 00:18:45,176
I had a pseudonym once,
but I had it legally changed.
225
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:49,263
And so the stranger,
seeking companionship,
226
00:18:49,348 --> 00:18:53,684
finds the woman, much like
the sirens of ancient times
227
00:18:53,769 --> 00:18:58,064
luring him to his certain demise.
228
00:18:58,649 --> 00:19:00,441
...nom de plume, I have a CB handle.
229
00:19:00,525 --> 00:19:02,239
I'm actually one of the
few men with a maiden name.
230
00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:04,987
Well, here we are.
231
00:19:12,371 --> 00:19:13,496
Right.
232
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:16,165
Well, I sure do appreciate
this, Miss Beans,
233
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,001
- and if there's ever anything that I...
- Get on up!
234
00:19:19,628 --> 00:19:21,128
Okay, then!
235
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:23,631
See you, Beans.
236
00:19:40,274 --> 00:19:41,440
You heading out, Jim?
237
00:19:41,525 --> 00:19:44,652
Well, we gave it our best
shot. We had to sell out.
238
00:19:44,736 --> 00:19:47,613
Can't grow no crops without no water.
239
00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,700
Bye, now!
240
00:19:55,539 --> 00:19:56,956
What is it?
241
00:20:00,210 --> 00:20:01,294
What was that for?
242
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:03,087
You're funny looking.
243
00:20:03,505 --> 00:20:05,840
Oh, yeah? Well, you're
funny looking, too.
244
00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:08,305
- That's a funny-looking shirt.
- That's a funny-looking dress.
245
00:20:08,385 --> 00:20:10,885
- You got funny-looking eyes!
- You got a funny-looking face!
246
00:20:11,847 --> 00:20:15,850
You're a stranger. Strangers
don't last long here.
247
00:20:16,226 --> 00:20:18,352
Here's your beans, Beans.
248
00:20:18,437 --> 00:20:20,479
I'm gonna need some
more feed, too, Willie.
249
00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:24,608
Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts
already. I can't give you more credit.
250
00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:26,986
But I'll have what I owe you at noon.
251
00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:32,325
You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack
down at the bank. He cut off all credit.
252
00:20:32,409 --> 00:20:34,618
Hey, Beans! Beans!
253
00:20:34,786 --> 00:20:36,829
You know that there fella?
254
00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:38,456
Hey, Beans! Miss Beans!
255
00:20:38,915 --> 00:20:40,499
Nope.
256
00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:41,792
Hey, Beans!
257
00:20:42,002 --> 00:20:43,044
Hey.
258
00:20:44,796 --> 00:20:47,798
Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in.
259
00:22:18,974 --> 00:22:20,808
I'd like a glass of water.
260
00:22:23,562 --> 00:22:25,229
He wants a glass of water!
261
00:22:25,647 --> 00:22:27,606
Make it a double!
262
00:22:27,691 --> 00:22:29,066
Give him the spittoon!
263
00:22:33,989 --> 00:22:37,700
Cactus juice. That's what we got.
264
00:23:01,516 --> 00:23:03,267
Hey, there, fruit cup.
265
00:23:03,351 --> 00:23:07,396
You're a long ways from home, ain't ya?
266
00:23:07,522 --> 00:23:10,024
Who exactly are you?
267
00:23:14,362 --> 00:23:15,696
Who am I?
268
00:23:17,449 --> 00:23:18,532
I could be anyone.
269
00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:23,757
What's the matter?
270
00:23:24,038 --> 00:23:26,662
You missing your mommy's mangos?
271
00:23:27,709 --> 00:23:29,877
As a matter of fact, I am.
272
00:23:30,754 --> 00:23:32,880
But not as much as
your daddy's cooking!
273
00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:38,302
Exactly where
did you say you were from?
274
00:23:38,386 --> 00:23:41,722
Me? I'm from the West.
275
00:23:41,806 --> 00:23:43,807
Out there, beyond the horizon.
276
00:23:43,988 --> 00:23:45,139
Past the sunset.
277
00:23:46,061 --> 00:23:47,728
The Far West.
278
00:23:49,731 --> 00:23:51,398
Yeah, that's right, hombres.
279
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:54,235
The place I come from,
we kill a man before breakfast
280
00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:56,487
just to work up an appetite.
281
00:23:57,155 --> 00:23:59,281
Then we salt him,
and we pepper him.
282
00:23:59,407 --> 00:24:02,115
Then we braise him
in clarified butter.
283
00:24:02,196 --> 00:24:03,536
And then we eat him.
284
00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:05,663
- You eat him?
- That's what I said!
285
00:24:05,747 --> 00:24:09,875
Hell, I seen things make a grown man
lose control of his glandular functions!
286
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,867
You spend three days
in a horse carcass,
287
00:24:11,948 --> 00:24:13,170
living off your own juices.
288
00:24:13,255 --> 00:24:16,131
It'll change a man. Oh, yeah.
289
00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:23,097
Had a few extra aces in this deck,
gents. Just the way I like it.
290
00:24:23,431 --> 00:24:25,984
So, no,
my hirsute little rodent friend,
291
00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:28,102
I am not from
around these parts.
292
00:24:28,186 --> 00:24:30,521
You might say I'm from
everywhere there's trouble brewing
293
00:24:30,605 --> 00:24:32,898
and hell waiting to be raised.
294
00:24:32,983 --> 00:24:36,443
You might say I'm what
hell's already raised up.
295
00:24:37,654 --> 00:24:39,280
Name's
296
00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:44,285
Rango.
297
00:24:45,996 --> 00:24:48,122
Are you the fella that
killed them Jenkins brothers?
298
00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:51,584
Killed them with one bullet.
299
00:24:51,668 --> 00:24:53,460
Don't get no deader.
300
00:24:53,545 --> 00:24:55,629
All seven of them?
301
00:24:56,673 --> 00:24:58,132
That's right.
302
00:24:58,675 --> 00:25:00,467
All seven of them.
303
00:25:01,344 --> 00:25:04,680
Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango?
304
00:25:07,225 --> 00:25:09,059
You know, I'm glad you asked me that.
305
00:25:09,144 --> 00:25:13,147
And I will be happy to tell you how.
But you're all gonna have to listen up!
306
00:25:14,357 --> 00:25:16,650
Because this is where it gets
307
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:19,028
complicated.
308
00:25:21,156 --> 00:25:24,033
That'll close out your account,
Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig.
309
00:25:24,159 --> 00:25:25,130
Hands off, Mordecai!
310
00:25:25,211 --> 00:25:27,491
That's what's left of
your college education!
311
00:25:29,831 --> 00:25:32,082
I don't rightly have
no other choice, Beans.
312
00:25:32,167 --> 00:25:36,337
Times being so hard, we just
can't give no more credit.
313
00:25:36,921 --> 00:25:39,673
But this here is a bank. This
is where you keep the water.
314
00:25:42,844 --> 00:25:47,181
Beans, you've been like a niece
to me ever since your daddy
315
00:25:48,683 --> 00:25:52,227
did not fall drunk down a mine shaft.
316
00:25:52,354 --> 00:25:56,857
I've tried to protect you and
others from certain realities.
317
00:25:56,941 --> 00:25:58,942
But that... Well...
318
00:25:59,527 --> 00:26:01,283
- Mr Merrimack?
- Realities are bearing down.
319
00:26:01,363 --> 00:26:02,863
Mr Merrimack!
320
00:26:03,698 --> 00:26:04,907
Are you all right?
321
00:26:05,533 --> 00:26:09,036
Beans, I need to show you something.
322
00:26:16,753 --> 00:26:20,214
- That's all that's left?
- And this here is the reserve!
323
00:26:20,298 --> 00:26:21,965
I don't know if you've noticed,
324
00:26:22,050 --> 00:26:25,552
but folks just ain't making
deposits on a Wednesday no more!
325
00:26:25,637 --> 00:26:29,098
Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some
water, I'm gonna lose my ranch
326
00:26:29,224 --> 00:26:31,563
and you're telling me that's all
that's left in the whole town?
327
00:26:31,643 --> 00:26:34,812
Now that just don't make
no sense. Now, listen.
328
00:26:34,896 --> 00:26:38,899
Someone is dumping water in the desert.
329
00:26:39,567 --> 00:26:42,319
I seen it with my own eyes.
330
00:26:44,114 --> 00:26:46,031
Water in the desert?
331
00:26:46,116 --> 00:26:49,159
Was this during one
of your special times?
332
00:26:49,452 --> 00:26:50,494
No.
333
00:26:50,578 --> 00:26:54,665
Well, we can all dream,
but this is the reality.
334
00:26:54,749 --> 00:26:58,377
Why do you think so many people are
selling out? They just can't make it.
335
00:26:58,461 --> 00:27:00,921
Well, what am I supposed to do?
336
00:27:01,339 --> 00:27:04,049
Well, I suppose we
could talk to the Mayor.
337
00:27:04,134 --> 00:27:07,302
I hear he's been helping people
out in this time of crisis.
338
00:27:07,429 --> 00:27:08,512
The Mayor?
339
00:27:08,596 --> 00:27:11,306
He may be our only hope.
340
00:27:11,433 --> 00:27:14,351
Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets
back towards number three,
341
00:27:14,436 --> 00:27:15,853
and that's when the roof caved in,
342
00:27:15,937 --> 00:27:18,021
igniting the thermos
of pure grain alcohol
343
00:27:18,106 --> 00:27:21,942
instantly vapourising his bodily form,
leaving nothing but a charcoal statue
344
00:27:22,026 --> 00:27:24,153
and a high-pitched squeal.
345
00:27:29,951 --> 00:27:33,871
Hold on, there. That's only six.
What happened to number seven?
346
00:27:35,123 --> 00:27:36,457
Number seven?
347
00:27:36,541 --> 00:27:38,876
Hell, he died of infection.
348
00:27:42,130 --> 00:27:44,173
- Seven men!
- One bullet!
349
00:27:44,299 --> 00:27:46,300
Drinks all around!
350
00:27:49,137 --> 00:27:51,180
Dance for me, Sod Buster!
351
00:27:51,306 --> 00:27:54,016
- Yes, dance like a chicken!
- That's right! Dance!
352
00:27:55,477 --> 00:27:57,644
You got corn in your ears, mate?
353
00:27:57,729 --> 00:28:00,689
You don't pay the mortgage,
you don't own the land!
354
00:28:00,815 --> 00:28:03,859
- That's basic real estate law, my friend.
- Quid pro quo!
355
00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:07,029
If I see your face in this town again,
356
00:28:07,155 --> 00:28:11,533
I'm gonna slice it off and use
it to wipe my unmentionables.
357
00:28:12,202 --> 00:28:13,410
Mind the beak.
358
00:28:14,579 --> 00:28:17,164
And don't come back!
359
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,710
What are you all gawping at?
360
00:28:25,256 --> 00:28:28,842
Hey, Bad Bill, there's
something I got to tell you!
361
00:28:33,431 --> 00:28:34,723
What is this?
362
00:28:34,849 --> 00:28:38,852
You know who that is,
Bill? That there's Rango!
363
00:28:38,937 --> 00:28:42,773
Yeah, he ain't afraid of you!
He ain't afraid of none of you.
364
00:28:42,857 --> 00:28:44,316
Killed them Jenkins brothers.
365
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,361
- Done it with one bullet, Bill.
- All seven of them!
366
00:28:48,029 --> 00:28:49,905
Is that right?
367
00:29:27,610 --> 00:29:29,903
Let me get that before you...
368
00:29:34,325 --> 00:29:36,076
No. Oh, I know. Here.
369
00:29:39,914 --> 00:29:42,457
Just take care of that for you.
370
00:29:43,251 --> 00:29:45,460
There. All better.
371
00:30:09,903 --> 00:30:12,446
T.O. T.O. Just a second.
372
00:30:14,782 --> 00:30:16,158
All right, now listen!
373
00:30:16,284 --> 00:30:19,494
I'm going to give you fellas
one last chance to reconsider!
374
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,252
And if you don't want to reconsider
375
00:30:27,337 --> 00:30:30,464
I might consider reconsidering myself.
376
00:30:41,809 --> 00:30:45,187
Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
377
00:30:45,313 --> 00:30:46,897
All right, now listen up!
378
00:30:46,981 --> 00:30:50,025
Things are going to be different
around here now that Rango's in town.
379
00:30:50,151 --> 00:30:53,195
Got some new rules! I want
my shoes shined every morning,
380
00:30:53,321 --> 00:30:55,197
my coffee hot, Danish on the side.
381
00:30:55,323 --> 00:30:57,532
Whatever you do, don't
look me in the eye.
382
00:30:57,659 --> 00:31:00,118
Stay out of my peripheral vision!
383
00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:02,162
- It's Rango.
- What's he up to?
384
00:31:02,288 --> 00:31:05,415
He ain't afraid of nobody. He's
telling that bird what's for!
385
00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:07,334
And when you see me coming, stand aside.
386
00:31:07,627 --> 00:31:10,379
I take large steps and I
don't want none of you hayseeds
387
00:31:10,505 --> 00:31:13,173
getting your bodily fluids on my boots!
388
00:31:14,634 --> 00:31:17,844
Of course, there is
no need for violence,
389
00:31:17,971 --> 00:31:20,889
as long as we stick
together, work as a team.
390
00:31:21,015 --> 00:31:24,393
So I want you all to come outside
now and line up single file
391
00:31:24,519 --> 00:31:25,978
while I take a brief intermission!
392
00:31:28,856 --> 00:31:30,649
What's he doing now?
393
00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:32,359
I think it's a number two.
394
00:31:53,881 --> 00:31:55,882
Never mind.
395
00:32:16,779 --> 00:32:18,488
Take a look-see over here!
396
00:32:18,573 --> 00:32:19,823
Well, look at him now!
397
00:32:19,907 --> 00:32:21,783
He's chasing after that hawk!
398
00:32:21,909 --> 00:32:52,898
Give him hell, Rango!
399
00:34:17,316 --> 00:34:20,110
- Did you see that?
- He killed that thing!
400
00:34:20,194 --> 00:34:21,862
What do you think, Doc?
401
00:34:22,572 --> 00:34:25,323
This hawk is dead!
402
00:34:25,908 --> 00:34:28,368
Shoot, I say we cook that right up.
403
00:34:28,494 --> 00:34:30,161
He did it with one bullet!
404
00:34:30,246 --> 00:34:31,788
Just like he said!
405
00:34:31,873 --> 00:34:33,623
It's about time we
had a hero around here.
406
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:36,001
One who ain't in a pine box.
407
00:34:36,669 --> 00:34:39,504
I think it's time he met the Mayor.
408
00:34:39,589 --> 00:34:42,549
You hear that, Rango? You're
going to meet the Mayor!
409
00:34:42,675 --> 00:34:45,010
Let's hear it for Rango!
410
00:34:48,347 --> 00:34:50,765
And so the stranger basks
411
00:34:50,892 --> 00:34:54,227
in the adulation of his new friends,
412
00:34:54,353 --> 00:34:59,524
sinking deeper into the
guacamole of his own deception.
413
00:34:59,609 --> 00:35:01,276
When is he going to die?
414
00:35:01,402 --> 00:35:03,862
Soon, compadre. Soon.
415
00:35:20,421 --> 00:35:22,422
My land is not for sale!
416
00:35:23,591 --> 00:35:26,092
I came here to save
my land, not sell it!
417
00:35:26,218 --> 00:35:29,888
I'm sure there's something reasonable
we can work out if you just talk to him!
418
00:35:31,265 --> 00:35:33,058
Beans! Where are you going? Beans?
419
00:35:33,601 --> 00:35:35,435
The Mayor will see you now.
420
00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:44,152
Water, Mr Rango, water.
421
00:35:44,612 --> 00:35:47,948
Without it, there's
nothing but dust and decay.
422
00:35:48,074 --> 00:35:52,577
But with water there's life.
423
00:35:54,455 --> 00:35:59,459
Look at them, so desperate to
live, they'll follow it anywhere.
424
00:36:00,127 --> 00:36:02,212
That's the immutable law of the desert.
425
00:36:04,131 --> 00:36:08,343
Control the water and
you control everything.
426
00:36:08,594 --> 00:36:12,931
But I don't have to tell you that being
a true man of the West, as you are.
427
00:36:13,182 --> 00:36:17,435
Oh, yeah. The West is the best.
428
00:36:17,603 --> 00:36:19,771
This is from my private stock.
429
00:36:19,855 --> 00:36:22,983
Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge.
430
00:36:24,110 --> 00:36:27,570
Not Noah's deluge. Good
heavens, I'm not that old.
431
00:36:30,324 --> 00:36:32,701
I guess power has its privileges.
432
00:36:33,285 --> 00:36:34,786
You make a good point, son.
433
00:36:35,955 --> 00:36:38,873
But with privilege comes responsibility.
434
00:36:40,501 --> 00:36:43,461
Hell, I was mayor here
before there was a Dirt!
435
00:36:43,546 --> 00:36:46,881
And I may be just a
sentimental old turtle
436
00:36:47,008 --> 00:36:52,012
but I think there's a future for this
town. And I hope you'll be part of it.
437
00:36:54,140 --> 00:36:56,641
- To Dirt!
- To Dirt.
438
00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:03,189
You see them, Mr Rango? All
my friends and neighbours?
439
00:37:04,191 --> 00:37:07,527
It's a hard life here. Very hard.
440
00:37:08,487 --> 00:37:12,032
Do you know how they make it
through each and every day?
441
00:37:12,158 --> 00:37:13,199
They believe.
442
00:37:13,826 --> 00:37:16,703
They believe it's going to be better.
443
00:37:16,829 --> 00:37:20,165
They believe that the water will come.
444
00:37:20,249 --> 00:37:22,751
They believe against
all odds and all evidence
445
00:37:22,877 --> 00:37:25,045
that tomorrow will be better than today.
446
00:37:27,256 --> 00:37:29,674
People have to believe in something.
447
00:37:30,551 --> 00:37:33,595
Right now, they believe in you.
448
00:37:35,848 --> 00:37:40,060
Pick it up, Mr Rango.
Your destiny awaits.
449
00:37:43,564 --> 00:37:47,025
People have to believe in something.
450
00:37:53,407 --> 00:37:55,658
It's almost noon. Is everything ready?
451
00:37:55,743 --> 00:37:58,578
Yeah. But he might be a problem.
452
00:37:58,662 --> 00:38:02,082
He's not a problem,
William. He's a solution.
453
00:38:05,419 --> 00:38:06,753
It just don't make no sense.
454
00:38:07,004 --> 00:38:08,421
This whole town is drying up,
455
00:38:08,506 --> 00:38:11,090
and the Mayor is the only one
who don't seem to be affected.
456
00:38:11,217 --> 00:38:13,218
Doesn't that make you
just a wee bit suspicious?
457
00:38:13,344 --> 00:38:16,513
And what about that water
I saw out in the desert?
458
00:38:16,597 --> 00:38:20,934
All right! No need to incite
anxiety. I'll inquire about the Mayor.
459
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:24,771
But if you really feel there's
some conspiracy occurring,
460
00:38:24,855 --> 00:38:27,899
I suggest you take it
up with the new sheriff.
461
00:38:29,193 --> 00:38:32,237
This is going to be good.
Hey! Watch that needle there.
462
00:38:32,321 --> 00:38:34,285
Not too tight. I want to
leave room for some pucker!
463
00:38:34,365 --> 00:38:35,406
That's good.
464
00:38:35,491 --> 00:38:37,033
Oh, easy there, tiger.
465
00:38:37,159 --> 00:38:38,706
- A little up and back?
- I don't think so.
466
00:38:38,786 --> 00:38:39,832
Have you got French cuffs with that?
467
00:38:39,912 --> 00:38:41,584
Excuse me, Sheriff Rango.
I want to talk to you.
468
00:38:41,664 --> 00:38:43,169
Hey, Beans, what do you
think of the new duds?
469
00:38:43,249 --> 00:38:45,250
I got a 10-gallon hat
marked down from 15.
470
00:38:45,334 --> 00:38:46,922
- That's nice.
- Have you met Angelique?
471
00:38:47,002 --> 00:38:48,837
- Hello, Beans.
- Hello, Angelique.
472
00:38:48,921 --> 00:38:49,963
- Tart.
- Floozy.
473
00:38:50,047 --> 00:38:52,257
- Trollop.
- Excuse me, Mr Rango.
474
00:38:52,341 --> 00:38:54,050
I will blow that ugly
right off your face!
475
00:38:54,260 --> 00:38:56,261
I was just thinking that...
476
00:38:57,012 --> 00:38:58,721
You want the old John Hancock, do you?
477
00:38:58,806 --> 00:39:00,936
- Well, here. Hold this.
- Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.
478
00:39:01,016 --> 00:39:02,725
There's a bullet in there.
479
00:39:02,810 --> 00:39:04,356
I know about the shindig this afternoon.
480
00:39:04,436 --> 00:39:06,942
- I ordered myself some right fancy duds.
- Sheriff, I'd like to file a...
481
00:39:07,022 --> 00:39:08,773
- Mr Rango!
- Oh, you, too? No problem.
482
00:39:08,858 --> 00:39:10,488
- Here, let me just...
- I need you to investigate...
483
00:39:10,568 --> 00:39:13,449
You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real
nice, you put a little effort into it.
484
00:39:13,529 --> 00:39:14,737
- What?
- Now, remember, son,
485
00:39:14,822 --> 00:39:17,369
stay in school, eat your veggies,
burn everything but Shakespeare.
486
00:39:17,449 --> 00:39:19,075
- Who's Shakespeare?
- Sheriff Rango,
487
00:39:19,535 --> 00:39:21,286
if that is your real name.
488
00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:23,580
I am trying to save my daddy's ranch,
489
00:39:23,664 --> 00:39:25,748
which is on the verge of
an agricultural meltdown
490
00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:28,751
while you're playing patty-cake
with this here trollop!
491
00:39:30,963 --> 00:39:34,299
Sad, really. Such a drab little thing.
492
00:39:34,967 --> 00:39:36,134
Why does she do that?
493
00:39:36,218 --> 00:39:39,470
- It's a survival reflex.
- Her switch is just broken.
494
00:39:39,555 --> 00:39:41,014
Well, that's an inconvenience.
495
00:39:41,098 --> 00:39:43,725
It is not a rash! It is a birthmark!
496
00:39:45,394 --> 00:39:46,686
I did it again, didn't I?
497
00:39:46,770 --> 00:39:48,021
Did what?
498
00:39:48,397 --> 00:39:49,981
Let me ask you something.
499
00:39:50,065 --> 00:39:54,152
Did anybody here mention what
happened to our last sheriff?
500
00:40:33,484 --> 00:40:37,862
Pardon, but may I ask you...
Excuse me, may I ask you...
501
00:40:37,947 --> 00:40:41,783
The last sheriff... Pardon
me. Where is everybody going?
502
00:40:42,326 --> 00:40:45,286
What exactly happened to the...
503
00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:51,209
All day
504
00:40:51,293 --> 00:40:55,296
I've faced the barren waste
505
00:40:55,798 --> 00:40:59,676
Without the taste of water
506
00:41:03,555 --> 00:41:07,058
Cool water
507
00:41:10,062 --> 00:41:13,314
Old Dan and I
508
00:41:13,399 --> 00:41:15,400
With throats burned dry
509
00:41:15,943 --> 00:41:20,154
And souls that cry
510
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,824
For water
511
00:41:25,911 --> 00:41:27,203
Cool
512
00:41:29,123 --> 00:41:30,581
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
513
00:41:30,666 --> 00:41:33,126
Clear water
514
00:41:41,135 --> 00:41:42,885
This is a heck of a
hoedown you got going.
515
00:41:42,970 --> 00:41:44,762
Still working out those steps.
516
00:41:44,847 --> 00:41:48,725
So, is this considered
normal civic behaviour?
517
00:41:48,809 --> 00:41:51,310
Every Wednesday, just like clockwork.
518
00:41:51,395 --> 00:41:53,146
You kill bird.
519
00:41:53,230 --> 00:41:56,107
Yeah. Matter of fact, I did.
520
00:41:56,191 --> 00:41:58,735
Bird dead. Snake come.
521
00:41:58,986 --> 00:41:59,986
Snake?
522
00:42:00,070 --> 00:42:01,863
He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango.
523
00:42:02,031 --> 00:42:04,203
He never comes to town 'cause
he's scared of that hawk.
524
00:42:04,283 --> 00:42:05,575
But he might come now.
525
00:42:05,659 --> 00:42:07,247
Can I have your boots when you're dead?
526
00:42:07,327 --> 00:42:08,411
No!
527
00:42:08,495 --> 00:42:10,872
And I ain't got no problem
with this Rattlesnake Jake.
528
00:42:10,956 --> 00:42:12,623
That's just what Amos said.
529
00:42:12,875 --> 00:42:14,834
Amos?
530
00:42:18,172 --> 00:42:20,506
You got any gold fillings?
531
00:42:38,776 --> 00:42:41,360
My fellow Dirtonians.
532
00:42:41,445 --> 00:42:46,449
I welcome you to our great
day of deliverance. Hallelujah.
533
00:42:46,533 --> 00:42:48,117
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
534
00:42:48,202 --> 00:42:51,746
Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot!
535
00:43:02,341 --> 00:43:05,676
We have a newcomer amongst
us today, my friends.
536
00:43:05,761 --> 00:43:08,513
A man I think needs
little introduction to you
537
00:43:08,597 --> 00:43:12,767
so bold has been his entry
into our fair society.
538
00:43:12,851 --> 00:43:16,104
Mr Rango, would you step forward?
539
00:43:21,944 --> 00:43:26,280
The time has come, my friends.
The time that was foretold!
540
00:43:26,365 --> 00:43:28,032
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
541
00:43:28,117 --> 00:43:29,534
The sacred time!
542
00:43:29,618 --> 00:43:31,410
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
543
00:43:31,495 --> 00:43:33,871
The time of destiny!
544
00:43:33,956 --> 00:43:35,540
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
545
00:43:35,624 --> 00:43:38,126
The time of deliverance!
546
00:43:38,210 --> 00:43:39,256
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
547
00:43:39,336 --> 00:43:43,464
It is the time of hydration!
548
00:43:58,981 --> 00:44:01,399
- It's his fault!
- It's the newcomer!
549
00:44:01,483 --> 00:44:03,192
- Burn him!
- He's a witch!
550
00:44:03,277 --> 00:44:04,402
I get his boots!
551
00:44:04,486 --> 00:44:08,739
My friends, my friends!
Temper your frustrations.
552
00:44:08,824 --> 00:44:13,911
Times will be tough from now on.
Sacrifices will have to be made.
553
00:44:13,996 --> 00:44:17,665
But if I can help in any way,
please know that my door is always...
554
00:44:17,749 --> 00:44:19,375
Hold it, hold it!
555
00:44:19,459 --> 00:44:22,253
Now, this whole thing
stinks three ways to Sunday.
556
00:44:22,337 --> 00:44:24,839
First the bank's run dry
and now this here spigot?
557
00:44:24,923 --> 00:44:25,965
The bank's run dry?
558
00:44:26,049 --> 00:44:28,841
- What's she talking about?
- She said there's no water in the bank!
559
00:44:34,016 --> 00:44:37,185
This is all we have! We
can't give it all out!
560
00:44:37,269 --> 00:44:39,478
That was my rehydration account!
561
00:44:40,898 --> 00:44:44,901
None of that civil disobedience
in my town, thank you very much.
562
00:44:47,487 --> 00:44:50,781
Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff.
Things were getting out of hand.
563
00:44:50,866 --> 00:44:52,742
Come right in.
564
00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:56,871
Let me have a gander at the source
of the societal discontentment here.
565
00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:01,083
Mercy.
566
00:45:01,168 --> 00:45:03,878
All right, listen up! I've been thinking
567
00:45:03,962 --> 00:45:06,756
and I believe I've
figured something out.
568
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,300
You folks have a water problem!
569
00:45:11,303 --> 00:45:13,934
Now just pay attention, everybody.
I'm trying to make a point here.
570
00:45:14,014 --> 00:45:16,807
Let's say this fella here
were to take a drink of water.
571
00:45:16,892 --> 00:45:19,685
Just one little drink.
No harm, no foul, right?
572
00:45:22,856 --> 00:45:24,023
And you!
573
00:45:24,358 --> 00:45:27,109
You're just as dried up and
parched as a jackrabbit in July.
574
00:45:27,194 --> 00:45:30,279
So you belly on up and
take you a double shot!
575
00:45:31,490 --> 00:45:33,366
Stay with me.
576
00:45:34,243 --> 00:45:38,120
What do you think happens
then? Why we'd all be drinking!
577
00:45:38,830 --> 00:45:41,749
And before you know it, there
wouldn't be any more water.
578
00:45:41,833 --> 00:45:43,834
And then where would we be?
579
00:45:45,170 --> 00:45:46,921
We'd be thirsty.
580
00:45:47,464 --> 00:45:49,173
Real thirsty.
581
00:45:49,591 --> 00:45:52,093
We'd turn on each other
like a bunch of animals!
582
00:45:54,721 --> 00:45:59,600
Now look here. We have
got six days of water.
583
00:46:04,606 --> 00:46:07,316
We have got five days...
584
00:46:08,694 --> 00:46:12,446
As long as we've got water,
we've got ourselves a town.
585
00:46:13,657 --> 00:46:15,574
Sheriff Rango is right.
586
00:46:15,659 --> 00:46:19,287
As long as we have this
water, we have some hope.
587
00:46:19,371 --> 00:46:21,163
And you can all take it from me.
588
00:46:21,248 --> 00:46:24,709
My 100% full-time
employment from this moment on
589
00:46:24,793 --> 00:46:28,754
will be to protect our
precious natural resource.
590
00:46:28,839 --> 00:46:32,675
Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango.
591
00:46:45,564 --> 00:46:46,814
Evening, ladies.
592
00:46:46,898 --> 00:46:48,691
Evening, Sheriff.
593
00:46:48,775 --> 00:46:50,901
And don't you come back!
594
00:46:50,986 --> 00:46:54,572
Hold on there, Gordy. You get back
in there and you assert yourself,
595
00:46:54,656 --> 00:46:57,913
and I think you'll find the people of this
here town to be surprisingly hospitable.
596
00:46:57,993 --> 00:46:59,285
Thank you, Sheriff.
597
00:46:59,369 --> 00:47:01,245
What? Not you again!
598
00:47:02,706 --> 00:47:04,498
I stand corrected.
599
00:47:10,589 --> 00:47:13,132
- This ain't the bank.
- I told you, Jedidiah!
600
00:47:13,216 --> 00:47:14,508
Hold it right there!
601
00:47:14,593 --> 00:47:15,889
- Who's that?
- It's the Sheriff!
602
00:47:15,969 --> 00:47:17,636
Get them hands up where I can see them!
603
00:47:18,347 --> 00:47:20,431
Just as I suspected.
604
00:47:20,515 --> 00:47:23,267
Prospecting without the authorised
equipment. Don't move a muscle.
605
00:47:24,061 --> 00:47:25,561
Prospecting?
606
00:47:29,649 --> 00:47:32,401
Now, you got your shovel,
pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah,
607
00:47:32,486 --> 00:47:35,738
assorted snacks, some puzzle books
and you're gonna need a permit.
608
00:47:35,822 --> 00:47:37,531
- Loofah.
- Ezekiel, Jedidiah!
609
00:47:37,616 --> 00:47:39,867
What the Sam Hill's going on up there?
610
00:47:39,951 --> 00:47:43,537
I've had polyps removed
smarter than the two of you!
611
00:47:43,997 --> 00:47:46,207
Hell's fire, this ain't the bank!
612
00:47:46,333 --> 00:47:49,919
Pappy, the Sheriff is standing
right here, helping us out.
613
00:47:50,003 --> 00:47:52,755
Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.
614
00:47:52,839 --> 00:47:55,424
That's right, sir. Just doing my duty.
615
00:47:56,176 --> 00:47:58,260
The lonely constable on his rounds,
616
00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:00,679
keeping an eagle eye out
for mayhem and malfeasance.
617
00:48:01,223 --> 00:48:03,224
Does he look like he sounds?
618
00:48:04,684 --> 00:48:08,479
Well, Sheriff, if we was
to hit the mother lode,
619
00:48:08,563 --> 00:48:10,689
being prospectors and such,
620
00:48:10,774 --> 00:48:13,943
where would we deposit said annuity?
621
00:48:14,027 --> 00:48:15,986
Here in the town of
Dirt, we happen to have
622
00:48:16,071 --> 00:48:18,906
the finest financial institution
this side of the Missouri.
623
00:48:20,659 --> 00:48:23,244
Protected morning, noon
and night by yours truly.
624
00:48:24,996 --> 00:48:26,997
Much obliged.
625
00:48:27,207 --> 00:48:30,084
The bank's been robbed!
The bank's been robbed!
626
00:48:30,168 --> 00:48:32,628
Good Lord, the bank's been robbed!
627
00:48:32,712 --> 00:48:34,130
What's going on?
628
00:48:34,214 --> 00:48:36,424
- It's gone! The water's all gone!
- What'd he say?
629
00:48:36,508 --> 00:48:37,800
He said the bank's been robbed!
630
00:48:38,718 --> 00:48:41,554
Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me!
631
00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:46,809
The bank's been robbed, the town is dry
"We'll die of thirst," the people cry
632
00:48:46,893 --> 00:48:51,439
He promised to protect the vault
The water's gone, it's all his fault
633
00:48:52,107 --> 00:48:54,066
All right, folks, stand
back, clear the area.
634
00:48:54,151 --> 00:48:55,484
This is a crime scene now.
635
00:48:55,569 --> 00:48:57,287
Secure the perimeter,
dust for prints,
636
00:48:57,368 --> 00:48:58,696
check for fibres,
scan for DNA.
637
00:48:58,780 --> 00:49:00,439
I want a urine sample
from everyone.
638
00:49:00,620 --> 00:49:01,490
And get me a latte.
639
00:49:01,575 --> 00:49:02,908
And don't mix up the two.
640
00:49:02,993 --> 00:49:04,160
What's this?
641
00:49:04,244 --> 00:49:05,911
"Prospecting Permit."
642
00:49:05,996 --> 00:49:07,788
I'll take that. Material evidence.
643
00:49:07,873 --> 00:49:09,415
What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?
644
00:49:09,499 --> 00:49:12,209
- We need that water.
- We're all going to die!
645
00:49:12,294 --> 00:49:15,921
My friends, we all know
what we have to do now.
646
00:49:16,006 --> 00:49:19,800
That's right. We all know
what we have to do now.
647
00:49:19,885 --> 00:49:21,927
- And that would be?
- Form a posse.
648
00:49:22,012 --> 00:49:23,888
Form a possum!
649
00:49:26,141 --> 00:49:27,641
A posse.
650
00:49:29,060 --> 00:49:32,146
Now, we're gonna be doing
this in an orderly fashion.
651
00:49:32,731 --> 00:49:37,651
First off, does anybody here know
how to use a firearm of any kind?
652
00:49:40,113 --> 00:49:41,739
All right, then.
653
00:49:41,823 --> 00:49:43,365
What do we do now, Sheriff?
654
00:49:43,450 --> 00:49:46,160
Now we ride!
655
00:49:59,132 --> 00:50:01,550
Where are we going?
656
00:50:01,635 --> 00:50:02,885
What?
657
00:50:02,969 --> 00:50:04,803
Where are we going?
658
00:50:12,145 --> 00:50:15,981
Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge
of all tracking and finding of villains,
659
00:50:16,066 --> 00:50:18,901
utilising your well-developed
Injun-uity, no offence taken.
660
00:50:18,985 --> 00:50:20,340
So which way
do you think they went?
661
00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:23,087
You want to sniff the air or
commune with a buffalo or something?
662
00:50:26,618 --> 00:50:28,494
Oh, you're good.
663
00:50:31,081 --> 00:50:32,790
I'm depending on you, Spoons.
664
00:50:32,874 --> 00:50:35,543
You got a little tobaccy
in the beard there.
665
00:50:35,627 --> 00:50:38,587
Always good to have a
medical man along, Doc.
666
00:50:38,672 --> 00:50:41,423
Reptiles got to stick
together, right, my brother?
667
00:50:41,508 --> 00:50:42,800
I'm an amphibian.
668
00:50:42,884 --> 00:50:44,426
Ain't no shame in that.
669
00:50:47,681 --> 00:50:50,182
You sure you're fit
for duty there, soldier?
670
00:50:52,060 --> 00:50:54,144
Well, you got a little
something in your eye there.
671
00:50:54,646 --> 00:50:58,440
Oh, that? That there's
conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary.
672
00:50:59,442 --> 00:51:02,361
Well, I'm glad to hear
it's not contagious.
673
00:51:03,029 --> 00:51:06,699
Now, just wait a cotton-picking
minute! A posse ain't no place for a...
674
00:51:07,450 --> 00:51:08,784
Never mind.
675
00:51:08,868 --> 00:51:10,828
Hold on there, little sister.
676
00:51:10,912 --> 00:51:13,622
Someone's gonna have to look
after the town while I'm gone.
677
00:51:15,458 --> 00:51:16,875
Can I gut-shoot someone?
678
00:51:18,211 --> 00:51:20,254
Let's put a pin in that.
679
00:51:20,755 --> 00:51:23,716
Sheriff, you're going to bring
that water back, aren't you?
680
00:51:24,593 --> 00:51:26,093
Count on it, little sister.
681
00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:32,391
- Which way do we go, Sheriff?
- There's tunnels everywhere.
682
00:51:32,475 --> 00:51:34,059
Whole town's perforated with them.
683
00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:37,688
She got more holes in her than
a painted lady on a porcupine.
684
00:51:37,814 --> 00:51:40,733
Hey, my daddy took me to her place.
685
00:51:41,401 --> 00:51:43,110
Not what I expected.
686
00:51:43,945 --> 00:51:46,864
How'd them fellers
find the bank, anyway?
687
00:51:46,948 --> 00:51:49,074
Gentlemen, if we can
just stay on task here.
688
00:51:49,159 --> 00:51:51,702
Sheriff! Over here!
689
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,332
- Would you look at that?
- Like seeing the face of God.
690
00:51:58,126 --> 00:51:59,585
Amen, brother.
691
00:51:59,669 --> 00:52:02,546
I remember when it used
to flow every Wednesday.
692
00:52:02,630 --> 00:52:04,631
Those were the halcyon days.
693
00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:06,967
Must be a reason she quit on us.
694
00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:10,804
Whatever the reason, something
is controlling this here water.
695
00:52:10,889 --> 00:52:12,681
What do you say, Sheriff?
696
00:52:13,683 --> 00:52:16,685
Clearly, the robbers
came from this direction.
697
00:52:16,770 --> 00:52:19,188
I say we track this pipe
back to its hydraulic origin
698
00:52:19,272 --> 00:52:21,774
and apprehend the culprits
behind this aquatic conundrum.
699
00:52:21,858 --> 00:52:24,193
- What'd he say?
- I think he said follow the pipe.
700
00:52:24,277 --> 00:52:26,695
- He said follow the pipe.
- He said follow the pipe.
701
00:52:31,242 --> 00:52:33,160
Sure is humid down here.
702
00:52:33,244 --> 00:52:36,288
Yeah, it's activating my piles.
703
00:52:36,373 --> 00:52:38,123
I had a goitre removed once.
704
00:52:38,208 --> 00:52:41,335
Looked like Tony Bennett
stepping out of the shower.
705
00:52:41,419 --> 00:52:44,254
Shoot, I put that on a tortilla.
706
00:52:55,517 --> 00:52:59,853
Whatever you do, do not look down.
707
00:53:02,357 --> 00:53:05,484
- What is this place?
- It's an aquifer.
708
00:53:07,362 --> 00:53:08,862
What's an aquifer?
709
00:53:08,947 --> 00:53:10,948
Well, it's for aqua.
710
00:53:11,950 --> 00:53:13,826
Well, it's empty now.
711
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:34,680
That's a big one.
712
00:53:37,308 --> 00:53:39,935
- It's the end of the line.
- Don't go no further.
713
00:53:40,019 --> 00:53:43,814
Well, now that there is a pipe. It's
got to be connected to something.
714
00:53:43,898 --> 00:53:46,525
You talk too much. Why
don't you put a cork in it?
715
00:53:46,609 --> 00:53:48,990
Why don't you put a cork... Tell
you where the sun don't shine.
716
00:53:49,070 --> 00:53:50,575
Your mama did. I'll cook her right up.
717
00:53:50,655 --> 00:53:52,197
You two just don't get it, do you?
718
00:53:52,282 --> 00:53:55,951
Someone or something is
messing with our hydration
719
00:53:56,035 --> 00:53:57,995
and that pipe has got
something to do with it.
720
00:53:58,079 --> 00:53:59,913
I thought we was following bank robbers!
721
00:53:59,998 --> 00:54:02,291
We're experiencing a paradigm shift.
722
00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:05,002
I'm gonna shift the features on
your face if you don't shut up!
723
00:54:05,086 --> 00:54:06,378
Go ahead and try!
724
00:54:08,256 --> 00:54:11,173
Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling.
You're affecting my cogitation.
725
00:54:13,428 --> 00:54:16,430
I got it. Snuff out them torches.
726
00:54:22,187 --> 00:54:23,228
Sure enough.
727
00:54:23,813 --> 00:54:25,564
Smart thinking there, feller.
728
00:54:25,648 --> 00:54:28,358
- Start climbing.
- Get your foot out of my face!
729
00:54:28,443 --> 00:54:29,985
Not bad, huh, Beans?
730
00:54:30,069 --> 00:54:32,492
You keep thinking like that,
your hat's gonna catch on fire.
731
00:54:32,572 --> 00:54:35,032
Well, you know, you get
on a roll, you just...
732
00:54:35,867 --> 00:54:37,201
Hot, hot! Burn.
733
00:54:48,588 --> 00:54:51,965
Poor things. All they
wanted was a little water.
734
00:54:52,050 --> 00:54:55,510
Cactus dying of thirst.
It don't bode well.
735
00:54:55,595 --> 00:54:57,308
- Hey, look what I found!
- What you got there?
736
00:54:57,388 --> 00:55:00,307
- I saw that first!
- Hey, that's mine!
737
00:55:00,391 --> 00:55:01,975
Give me that!
738
00:55:02,060 --> 00:55:04,061
It's empty anyway.
739
00:55:04,145 --> 00:55:05,604
I knew that.
740
00:55:05,688 --> 00:55:06,980
Where'd you find that?
741
00:55:07,065 --> 00:55:09,900
Sheriff! You're going
to want to see this!
742
00:55:13,571 --> 00:55:15,280
It's Mr Merrimack from the bank.
743
00:55:15,365 --> 00:55:16,782
What's he doing here?
744
00:55:16,866 --> 00:55:18,413
- Everybody stand back.
- All right, let me see.
745
00:55:18,493 --> 00:55:20,994
Looks like them varmints
shot him in the back.
746
00:55:21,079 --> 00:55:25,249
No, this man wasn't
shot. He was drowned!
747
00:55:25,333 --> 00:55:28,001
- Drowned?
- In the middle of the desert?
748
00:55:28,086 --> 00:55:29,836
What a way to go.
749
00:55:31,506 --> 00:55:35,259
Well, now, whose boot prints are those?
750
00:55:39,097 --> 00:55:42,557
That's interesting.
The ground's still wet.
751
00:55:42,809 --> 00:55:44,643
I suppose we should bury him.
752
00:55:44,727 --> 00:55:47,312
I don't know. Birds got to eat, too.
753
00:55:47,397 --> 00:55:48,689
Circle of life!
754
00:55:48,773 --> 00:55:49,815
Sheriff.
755
00:55:49,899 --> 00:55:51,441
Will you say a few words?
756
00:55:52,819 --> 00:55:54,736
Yeah. Yeah.
757
00:55:57,198 --> 00:55:58,490
Dearly beloved.
758
00:55:58,574 --> 00:56:03,328
We are gathered here
today to honour this man.
759
00:56:03,955 --> 00:56:05,163
Mr Merrimack,
760
00:56:05,581 --> 00:56:07,165
you have the right to remain silent.
761
00:56:07,375 --> 00:56:09,584
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
762
00:56:09,669 --> 00:56:10,711
Amen.
763
00:56:11,004 --> 00:56:12,045
- Amen.
- Amen.
764
00:56:12,255 --> 00:56:12,964
Hey!
765
00:56:13,045 --> 00:56:15,170
What's that dad-gum Indian doing?
766
00:56:19,012 --> 00:56:21,722
I see you're consulting
with the spirits.
767
00:56:21,806 --> 00:56:25,142
No, I'm moulting.
Means I'm ready to mate.
768
00:56:26,644 --> 00:56:28,186
I'll keep that in mind.
769
00:56:28,855 --> 00:56:29,980
Cactus fruit.
770
00:56:30,064 --> 00:56:32,858
Yes. The ancient cactus fruit.
771
00:56:32,942 --> 00:56:34,735
I believe your people
use it as seasoning
772
00:56:34,819 --> 00:56:36,278
when preparing your native dishes.
773
00:56:36,362 --> 00:56:38,196
Also natural laxative.
774
00:56:39,866 --> 00:56:40,949
Pick up trail.
775
00:56:41,034 --> 00:56:44,494
Three men heading west.
One blind, one with
776
00:56:46,122 --> 00:56:48,540
enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
777
00:56:48,624 --> 00:56:51,918
- What did he say?
- They're riding sidesaddle.
778
00:56:52,003 --> 00:56:53,424
- We're whispering.
- What'd he say?
779
00:56:53,504 --> 00:56:54,629
Someone's got a bad valve.
780
00:56:54,714 --> 00:56:57,674
All right, which one of you
fellers needs a check-up?
781
00:56:58,634 --> 00:56:59,760
Awkward.
782
00:57:01,095 --> 00:57:04,389
What exactly are we going to do now?
783
00:57:05,016 --> 00:57:07,392
Now we ride!
784
00:57:12,231 --> 00:57:15,942
That means we're
riding now! This moment.
785
00:57:58,945 --> 00:58:01,363
Marshmallows remind me of
going camping with my daddy.
786
00:58:01,447 --> 00:58:03,615
I could eat them all night long.
787
00:58:05,409 --> 00:58:08,620
Of course he did make me cough
them back up again for breakfast.
788
00:58:10,289 --> 00:58:13,458
This one time, I coughed
up an entire Dalmatian.
789
00:58:13,543 --> 00:58:17,379
That ain't nothing. I coughed
up a whole tribe of pygmies.
790
00:58:18,381 --> 00:58:20,340
They started looking at me weird.
791
00:58:20,424 --> 00:58:23,718
I remember them. They
was quite friendly.
792
00:58:23,803 --> 00:58:27,347
I found a human spinal column
in my fecal matter once.
793
00:58:30,434 --> 00:58:33,019
You might want to get that looked at.
794
00:58:34,355 --> 00:58:36,273
Pass the beans, Beans.
795
00:58:36,357 --> 00:58:38,066
- Sheriff?
- No, thanks.
796
00:58:38,151 --> 00:58:42,571
Mr Rango? Can you tell us
about the Spirit of the West?
797
00:58:43,364 --> 00:58:46,491
- Yeah, tell us about that.
- Is it true what they say?
798
00:58:46,576 --> 00:58:50,245
Yes, the Spirit of the West!
799
00:58:50,329 --> 00:58:52,747
The eternally unattainable ideal.
800
00:58:53,166 --> 00:58:55,792
They say he rides in
an alabaster carriage
801
00:58:55,877 --> 00:58:57,460
with golden guardians to protect him.
802
00:58:58,588 --> 00:59:01,506
But he only appears to those who
have undertaken an epic quest!
803
00:59:02,258 --> 00:59:03,675
And have made it
804
00:59:04,010 --> 00:59:06,011
to the other side.
805
00:59:10,308 --> 00:59:11,558
The other side of what?
806
00:59:12,018 --> 00:59:13,602
It's a metaphor.
807
00:59:13,686 --> 00:59:14,728
My eye!
808
00:59:14,812 --> 00:59:16,354
That's gonna heal right up.
809
00:59:16,439 --> 00:59:20,442
Sheriff? What are you going
to do about Rattlesnake Jake?
810
00:59:20,985 --> 00:59:22,027
What? Where?
811
00:59:23,779 --> 00:59:27,741
Sorry about that. Word is you
come against him once or twice.
812
00:59:28,784 --> 00:59:30,118
Yeah.
813
00:59:30,203 --> 00:59:32,204
Jake. You mean my brother.
814
00:59:32,288 --> 00:59:34,164
- Your brother?
- That's what I said!
815
00:59:34,957 --> 00:59:37,542
But he's a snake and you're a lizard.
816
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,420
Well, Momma had an active social life.
817
00:59:41,839 --> 00:59:42,964
Did he ever bite you?
818
00:59:43,049 --> 00:59:46,468
Sure enough did. Look at that
baby. Go ahead, you can touch it.
819
00:59:46,552 --> 00:59:50,472
That's interesting. That
there's a belly button.
820
00:59:50,598 --> 00:59:52,140
Luckily, I'm immune to his venom.
821
00:59:52,225 --> 00:59:54,147
Put some in my coffee just
to give it a little tang.
822
00:59:54,227 --> 00:59:56,186
Is it true he's only
scared of them hawks?
823
00:59:56,270 --> 00:59:59,898
Them's what we call
his natural predator.
824
01:00:01,651 --> 01:00:04,819
All this talk of that serpentine
devil is putting my quills on edge!
825
01:00:04,904 --> 01:00:06,905
I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir.
826
01:00:06,989 --> 01:00:10,158
Don't you all worry about a thing.
Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water
827
01:00:10,243 --> 01:00:12,244
and return to a hero's welcome.
828
01:00:13,371 --> 01:00:15,914
Friends, before we bunk down
829
01:00:15,998 --> 01:00:18,458
I'd like us all to
join hands for a moment,
830
01:00:18,542 --> 01:00:21,294
say a few words to
the Spirit of the West.
831
01:00:21,379 --> 01:00:23,004
That's a good idea.
832
01:00:25,132 --> 01:00:28,134
Ain't always spoken rightly
to you, Spirit of the West.
833
01:00:28,511 --> 01:00:34,140
But tonight I want to thank you for
bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives.
834
01:00:35,059 --> 01:00:36,810
It's a hard life we got.
835
01:00:36,894 --> 01:00:39,813
Sometimes I don't know
how we're gonna make it.
836
01:00:40,273 --> 01:00:43,733
But somehow, Sheriff Rango
makes me think we will.
837
01:00:44,735 --> 01:00:47,612
We needed a brave man
and you sent us one.
838
01:00:48,739 --> 01:00:51,783
Nice to have someone
to believe in again.
839
01:00:51,867 --> 01:00:55,495
Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen.
840
01:00:56,455 --> 01:00:58,331
- Amen.
- Amen.
841
01:01:30,156 --> 01:01:31,990
Just checking.
842
01:01:34,577 --> 01:01:37,329
- It's a little cold tonight.
- Thank you.
843
01:01:39,832 --> 01:01:42,667
You ever feel like those
things are looking at you?
844
01:01:42,835 --> 01:01:44,502
That's a Spanish dagger.
845
01:01:44,628 --> 01:01:47,422
But around here, we just
call them the Walking Cactus.
846
01:01:47,506 --> 01:01:48,590
Walking?
847
01:01:48,674 --> 01:01:52,594
There's an old legend they actually
walk across the desert to find water.
848
01:01:52,678 --> 01:01:56,431
When I was a little girl, I'd stay up
late watching them, to see if they'd move.
849
01:01:56,515 --> 01:02:00,602
I thought if I could follow them,
they'd lead me to someplace wonderful.
850
01:02:00,686 --> 01:02:04,356
Someplace with enough
water for everyone.
851
01:02:05,274 --> 01:02:09,819
Night after night, I watched
them. I never saw them move.
852
01:02:10,696 --> 01:02:11,821
But you're still watching.
853
01:02:12,365 --> 01:02:14,949
Who doesn't want to
find someplace wonderful?
854
01:02:15,701 --> 01:02:18,703
We'll find the water,
Beans. I promise you.
855
01:02:22,124 --> 01:02:24,501
That's such a lonely sound.
856
01:02:25,336 --> 01:02:27,295
You ever get lonely?
857
01:02:27,380 --> 01:02:28,797
Sometimes.
858
01:02:28,881 --> 01:02:33,385
I can't imagine it. You're such a
charmer and everyone likes you so much.
859
01:02:33,886 --> 01:02:36,888
- I never made friends easy like that.
- No?
860
01:02:37,681 --> 01:02:40,141
No, we're pretty isolated
out there on the ranch,
861
01:02:40,226 --> 01:02:42,977
sort of like being
sealed up in a little box.
862
01:02:43,062 --> 01:02:46,481
Don't really see a lot of folks.
863
01:02:46,565 --> 01:02:48,817
I wouldn't know what that's like.
864
01:02:49,568 --> 01:02:52,195
There someone special
in your life, Rango?
865
01:02:52,738 --> 01:02:55,657
There used to be. But she
couldn't keep her head.
866
01:02:55,741 --> 01:02:57,788
Besides, my life's too
dangerous for that kind of thing.
867
01:02:57,868 --> 01:03:00,912
You know, it's an awful solitary
existence out there on the prairie.
868
01:03:01,038 --> 01:03:03,248
Riding the ranges and the suchlike.
869
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:09,170
Beans?
870
01:03:26,272 --> 01:03:30,358
I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna
whup you like a red-headed stepchild!
871
01:03:30,443 --> 01:03:31,776
Choleric varmints, ain't they?
872
01:03:31,902 --> 01:03:34,863
Dysfunctional family. Need intervention.
873
01:03:35,948 --> 01:03:37,407
What's that coming?
874
01:03:39,452 --> 01:03:40,910
It's the water.
875
01:03:42,955 --> 01:03:46,791
I have a plan, and each and every
one of you has a part to play.
876
01:03:46,917 --> 01:03:48,126
What do I do?
877
01:03:48,252 --> 01:03:50,127
Spoons, you got the most
important job of all.
878
01:03:50,296 --> 01:03:52,385
You stay up here on the ridge,
and if anything goes wrong,
879
01:03:52,465 --> 01:03:55,300
you give the signal.
880
01:04:06,312 --> 01:04:09,647
Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing?
881
01:04:09,773 --> 01:04:12,400
- He got it!
- Hallelujah!
882
01:04:12,485 --> 01:04:14,152
- He found the water!
- You did it, son.
883
01:04:14,278 --> 01:04:15,320
Well, actually...
884
01:04:15,404 --> 01:04:18,239
Why can't you be all
brainy like your brother?
885
01:04:18,324 --> 01:04:19,247
Pappy, about that water.
886
01:04:19,328 --> 01:04:20,746
There's something
I gots to tell you.
887
01:04:20,826 --> 01:04:22,660
Hush up, now. Somebody's coming.
888
01:04:25,122 --> 01:04:28,500
Good sirs, gracious good afternoon
to thee and thee and thee.
889
01:04:28,626 --> 01:04:30,835
May I present Madame Lupone's
890
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,338
Terpsichorean Troupe
of Travelling Thespians!
891
01:04:35,174 --> 01:04:37,342
- What is that?
- I think they's thespians.
892
01:04:37,426 --> 01:04:40,512
Thespians?
That's illegal in seven states!
893
01:04:40,638 --> 01:04:41,678
The stage is set.
894
01:04:41,759 --> 01:04:44,432
The princess prepares
to take her own life.
895
01:04:44,517 --> 01:04:46,142
I yearn for love.
896
01:04:47,102 --> 01:04:49,519
Meanwhile, the lone sentry
stands watch at the castle gate.
897
01:04:51,190 --> 01:04:52,941
Stands watch at the castle gate...
898
01:04:54,109 --> 01:04:56,110
Hark! Who goes there?
899
01:04:56,195 --> 01:04:58,029
This plot is highly predictable.
900
01:04:58,113 --> 01:04:59,452
Quiet! This is my favourite part.
901
01:04:59,532 --> 01:05:02,200
Arriving to great fanfare
'twas her aged father,
902
01:05:05,788 --> 01:05:07,664
strucketh by Cupid.
903
01:05:08,958 --> 01:05:12,043
Prithee, unhand my fair daughter
904
01:05:12,169 --> 01:05:13,836
and reach for the...
905
01:05:16,465 --> 01:05:18,007
- Line?
- "Reach for the sky!"
906
01:05:20,553 --> 01:05:22,136
What was that?
907
01:05:22,221 --> 01:05:24,222
Must be that immersive theatre.
908
01:05:24,348 --> 01:05:25,557
We got you surrounded!
909
01:05:25,683 --> 01:05:29,561
You and your entire family get
your hands up where I can see them.
910
01:05:29,645 --> 01:05:32,063
My entire family?
911
01:05:36,735 --> 01:05:40,989
Grits and spit and collard greens
912
01:05:41,073 --> 01:05:45,493
Waffle chitlins, monkey brains
913
01:05:45,578 --> 01:05:49,414
Refried bones and booger blood
914
01:05:49,498 --> 01:05:52,875
Pickled eggs and flaps of mud
915
01:05:56,213 --> 01:05:58,339
it's a full house.
916
01:05:58,424 --> 01:06:01,718
Looks like we're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned standoff.
917
01:06:02,595 --> 01:06:06,598
I'll have you know, you're not
looking at our entire contingent.
918
01:06:13,188 --> 01:06:15,607
What's that supposed to be?
919
01:06:15,733 --> 01:06:17,108
That's the signal.
920
01:06:17,234 --> 01:06:20,862
That's the signal! Something
must have gone wrong!
921
01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:28,620
So something's supposed to happen?
922
01:06:28,746 --> 01:06:32,206
I am open to suggestions.
923
01:06:40,090 --> 01:06:41,633
Run!
924
01:06:47,806 --> 01:06:49,057
Get on the wagon!
925
01:06:55,105 --> 01:06:57,815
Should we have ourselves
some sport, chill'ens?
926
01:06:58,776 --> 01:07:00,735
I likes it when they run.
927
01:07:00,819 --> 01:07:03,821
Maybelle, give the holler!
928
01:07:10,454 --> 01:07:11,746
Looks like we made it!
929
01:07:11,830 --> 01:07:13,331
That audience was quite responsive.
930
01:07:13,457 --> 01:07:16,292
Yeah, well, I think that
chromosome pool is about dried up.
931
01:07:43,529 --> 01:07:44,946
We got bats!
932
01:07:45,864 --> 01:07:47,657
Here! You drive.
933
01:07:55,666 --> 01:07:58,042
Looks like there's
gonna be soup tonight!
934
01:07:58,502 --> 01:08:00,628
Come on, let's get some!
935
01:08:09,972 --> 01:08:13,224
What in tarnation?
Don't shoot the water!
936
01:08:13,350 --> 01:08:16,811
Jedidiah! It's time for
the Alabama squeeze box!
937
01:08:16,895 --> 01:08:18,354
Okay, Pa!
938
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,238
I am sensing hostility.
939
01:08:27,322 --> 01:08:28,531
Incoming!
940
01:08:34,329 --> 01:08:35,580
Hello!
941
01:08:35,664 --> 01:08:36,873
Goodbye!
942
01:08:46,675 --> 01:08:49,051
Lasso that swine!
943
01:09:09,406 --> 01:09:11,282
I suggest we take evasive action!
944
01:09:11,366 --> 01:09:13,284
I suggest you shut up and shoot!
945
01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:15,994
- What happened to the Sheriff?
- He had a previous engagement!
946
01:09:16,079 --> 01:09:18,748
Boseefus, give them some gumbo now!
947
01:09:25,422 --> 01:09:28,090
What was that? Go check it out!
948
01:09:29,384 --> 01:09:31,093
What is it? Is there a problem?
949
01:09:33,472 --> 01:09:34,931
You could call it that.
950
01:10:23,355 --> 01:10:24,480
Headache.
951
01:10:27,150 --> 01:10:29,277
Is that all you got?
952
01:10:47,170 --> 01:10:49,380
That wasn't altogether unpleasant!
953
01:10:51,008 --> 01:10:52,049
Eat lead!
954
01:11:02,728 --> 01:11:04,312
Here, hold these.
955
01:11:15,073 --> 01:11:16,866
Get your hands off me!
956
01:11:21,914 --> 01:11:23,372
Oh, I'm sorry.
957
01:11:32,174 --> 01:11:33,257
Jump!
958
01:11:56,156 --> 01:11:57,740
It's impossible.
959
01:11:58,158 --> 01:12:01,077
It can't be. It's empty.
960
01:12:01,161 --> 01:12:02,870
There's no water!
961
01:12:02,955 --> 01:12:06,415
No water? Then what the
hell we been fighting for?
962
01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:10,753
Sir, you have defiled and desecrated
the very sustenance of our livelihood!
963
01:12:10,837 --> 01:12:13,464
I think that there fella in
the purty dress is the Sheriff.
964
01:12:13,590 --> 01:12:16,133
That's the same fellow what
give us a prospecting permit?
965
01:12:16,259 --> 01:12:19,095
- A what?
- Irrelevant! Obfuscation.
966
01:12:19,179 --> 01:12:21,221
You and your kin are under
arrest for bank robbery
967
01:12:21,306 --> 01:12:23,307
and the murder of our
beloved financial advisor
968
01:12:23,433 --> 01:12:26,894
Johannes Merrimack the Third,
AKA, Fluffy Joe.
969
01:12:26,979 --> 01:12:28,562
Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody.
970
01:12:28,647 --> 01:12:31,069
We done tunnelled into that vault,
but there weren't nothing in it.
971
01:12:31,149 --> 01:12:33,071
Somebody done robbed that
bank before we robbed it.
972
01:12:33,151 --> 01:12:34,902
Then where'd you get this here jug?
973
01:12:34,987 --> 01:12:36,988
That's what I been
trying to tell you, Pappy.
974
01:12:37,114 --> 01:12:38,280
I found it in the desert.
975
01:12:38,365 --> 01:12:41,617
Then why in tarnation
did you bring it here?
976
01:12:41,702 --> 01:12:45,663
Hold on! You're saying this here
jug was empty when you found it?
977
01:12:45,789 --> 01:12:46,998
That's right.
978
01:12:47,124 --> 01:12:48,416
I don't believe a word of it.
979
01:12:48,500 --> 01:12:50,088
- Let's hang them, Sheriff!
- String them up!
980
01:12:50,168 --> 01:12:51,627
Who'd dump water in the desert?
981
01:12:52,170 --> 01:12:53,796
Wouldn't be the first time.
982
01:12:54,297 --> 01:12:57,049
It's a puzzle!
It's like a big old mammogram!
983
01:12:57,175 --> 01:12:59,010
What's going on, Sheriff?
984
01:12:59,136 --> 01:13:00,469
I don't know.
985
01:13:00,554 --> 01:13:04,598
But I'm going to strip away this
mystery and expose its private parts.
986
01:13:04,683 --> 01:13:06,976
You and your kin are coming with me.
987
01:13:11,481 --> 01:13:12,690
They're coming!
988
01:13:12,816 --> 01:13:14,525
Here they come!
989
01:13:15,736 --> 01:13:18,195
Looks like they got them robbers.
990
01:13:40,719 --> 01:13:42,178
Where's the water?
991
01:13:45,223 --> 01:13:47,183
There weren't no water.
992
01:14:01,281 --> 01:14:03,032
Where is he going?
993
01:14:04,076 --> 01:14:06,577
He's going to see the Mayor.
994
01:14:08,705 --> 01:14:10,664
He's got to be pleased with that.
995
01:14:10,749 --> 01:14:12,583
That's a good one, boss!
996
01:14:22,385 --> 01:14:23,469
That's interesting.
997
01:14:23,595 --> 01:14:26,430
I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango,
998
01:14:26,556 --> 01:14:29,850
but there's a certain protocol
to this game, you understand.
999
01:14:29,935 --> 01:14:32,269
I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol.
1000
01:14:32,395 --> 01:14:35,314
Well, that's good, 'cause you
got a few questions to answer
1001
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:37,733
and I've got my own protocol.
1002
01:14:41,738 --> 01:14:44,615
But why would anyone dump
water in the blooming desert?
1003
01:14:44,741 --> 01:14:48,744
It does seem a bit naive,
taking the word of admitted bank robbers.
1004
01:14:48,829 --> 01:14:52,456
Besides, once they hang,
your job is done.
1005
01:14:52,582 --> 01:14:54,041
- Bravo!
- Job well done.
1006
01:14:54,126 --> 01:14:57,086
But what if somebody did rob
the bank before they got there?
1007
01:14:57,170 --> 01:14:59,338
And who would do that, Mr Rango?
1008
01:14:59,464 --> 01:15:01,674
I was hoping you could tell me.
1009
01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:04,760
That sounds marginally
near to an accusation.
1010
01:15:04,845 --> 01:15:06,846
Take it any way you like.
1011
01:15:12,185 --> 01:15:15,813
Something you said keeps rattling
around in my frontal lobe.
1012
01:15:15,939 --> 01:15:17,106
What's that?
1013
01:15:17,774 --> 01:15:21,485
"Control the water and
you control everything."
1014
01:15:22,112 --> 01:15:24,155
Come now, Mr Rango.
1015
01:15:24,281 --> 01:15:27,158
You attribute divine power to me.
1016
01:15:27,284 --> 01:15:30,452
How on earth could I
possibly control the water?
1017
01:15:32,956 --> 01:15:36,041
You've obviously mastered this game.
1018
01:15:36,168 --> 01:15:39,587
Well, I've been playing
it for many years, sir.
1019
01:15:39,671 --> 01:15:42,840
I was here before the highway
split this great valley.
1020
01:15:42,966 --> 01:15:45,593
I watched the march of progress,
1021
01:15:45,677 --> 01:15:48,179
and I learned a thing or two.
1022
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,849
Perhaps it's time you
started to take the long view,
1023
01:15:51,975 --> 01:15:55,811
begin to appreciate the
broad sweep of history.
1024
01:15:56,479 --> 01:15:57,980
Look out there, son.
1025
01:15:58,899 --> 01:16:01,317
You can almost see time passing.
1026
01:16:04,571 --> 01:16:06,614
What are you building out here?
1027
01:16:06,698 --> 01:16:10,034
The future, Mr Rango, the future.
1028
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:13,829
One day soon, all this is
going to fade into myth,
1029
01:16:13,914 --> 01:16:16,749
the frontier town, the
lawman, the gunslinger.
1030
01:16:16,875 --> 01:16:19,251
There's just no place for them any more.
1031
01:16:19,377 --> 01:16:22,671
- We're civilised now.
- That's right, civilised.
1032
01:16:23,506 --> 01:16:25,090
That's what the future holds.
1033
01:16:25,217 --> 01:16:28,552
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1034
01:16:28,929 --> 01:16:31,329
Is that what happened
to Mr Merrimack?
1035
01:16:31,410 --> 01:16:32,806
Did he get left behind?
1036
01:16:32,891 --> 01:16:34,109
Careful, Mr Rango.
1037
01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:37,641
You seem to forget
you're just one little lizard.
1038
01:16:37,896 --> 01:16:41,732
You seem to forget I'm
the law around these parts.
1039
01:16:44,402 --> 01:16:47,488
Our new sheriff has been
playing the hero for so long,
1040
01:16:47,572 --> 01:16:49,990
he's actually starting
to believe it.
1041
01:16:50,075 --> 01:16:52,534
Call in Rattlesnake Jake.
1042
01:16:52,619 --> 01:16:55,287
But Jake's the Grim Reaper.
1043
01:16:55,413 --> 01:16:57,748
He never leaves without
taking a blooming soul.
1044
01:16:57,874 --> 01:16:59,083
Do it!
1045
01:17:13,598 --> 01:17:14,651
Now be still.
1046
01:17:14,732 --> 01:17:17,890
You gotta look presentable
to meet your maker.
1047
01:17:23,608 --> 01:17:26,986
Death has arrived
1048
01:17:31,449 --> 01:17:35,828
How will the hero survive?
1049
01:17:39,624 --> 01:17:42,751
The Mayor has bought up
all the land in the valley,
1050
01:17:42,836 --> 01:17:44,712
except for your ranch, Miss Beans.
1051
01:17:44,796 --> 01:17:46,545
That just don't
make no sense.
1052
01:17:46,626 --> 01:17:48,632
Without water,
that land is useless.
1053
01:17:48,758 --> 01:17:51,552
Unless he controls the water.
1054
01:17:51,636 --> 01:17:53,512
Like a monkey's bladder!
1055
01:17:53,638 --> 01:17:56,061
Then he could bring it back
once he's bought up all the land.
1056
01:17:56,141 --> 01:17:58,100
But how does he control the water?
1057
01:17:59,436 --> 01:18:02,563
Well, you gotta spend
some time and train them.
1058
01:18:02,647 --> 01:18:04,578
'Cause you know monkeys,
when they do go,
1059
01:18:04,659 --> 01:18:05,854
you rub their nose in it.
1060
01:18:05,984 --> 01:18:07,985
Sheriff, we got a problem.
1061
01:18:14,701 --> 01:18:18,120
Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary.
1062
01:18:21,666 --> 01:18:24,877
- Hang him till his head turns blue!
- Give us them robbers!
1063
01:18:25,003 --> 01:18:26,573
Hold on!
Calm down, everyone!
1064
01:18:26,754 --> 01:18:27,421
Let me talk!
1065
01:18:27,505 --> 01:18:29,803
- Nail them to the courthouse!
- Now, calm down, everybody.
1066
01:18:29,883 --> 01:18:32,551
Get them out here so we
can cut off their giblets!
1067
01:18:33,178 --> 01:18:34,762
You, too, Spoons?
1068
01:18:34,846 --> 01:18:38,223
They done taken that water.
They taken everything we got!
1069
01:18:38,349 --> 01:18:41,310
No one's stringing anyone
up. Not while I'm sheriff.
1070
01:18:41,394 --> 01:18:42,644
But this is all his fault!
1071
01:18:42,729 --> 01:18:45,105
You said you's gonna
bring the water back.
1072
01:18:45,190 --> 01:18:47,733
It's just, we got no
hope without that water.
1073
01:18:47,859 --> 01:18:49,735
We got nothing left to believe in.
1074
01:18:50,403 --> 01:18:51,987
You see that sign up there?
1075
01:18:52,697 --> 01:18:54,907
As long as that sign says "Sheriff,"
1076
01:18:55,033 --> 01:18:57,367
you can believe that there's
law and order in this town.
1077
01:18:57,494 --> 01:19:01,538
But without law and order,
ruminate on that. Oh, yeah.
1078
01:19:01,664 --> 01:19:04,833
Starts out slow, like a fungus.
1079
01:19:04,918 --> 01:19:07,586
Somebody says a cross word.
Accusations start flying.
1080
01:19:07,712 --> 01:19:10,510
Neighbour turns on neighbour. Pretty
soon, we're eating our children!
1081
01:19:10,590 --> 01:19:12,012
And then dogs and cats
are getting together
1082
01:19:12,092 --> 01:19:14,760
to create all sorts of
unnatural mutant aberrations!
1083
01:19:15,762 --> 01:19:19,389
So, you want something
to believe in, Spoons?
1084
01:19:19,766 --> 01:19:21,058
Believe in me.
1085
01:19:22,602 --> 01:19:24,603
Believe in that there sign.
1086
01:19:25,563 --> 01:19:29,066
For as long as it hangs
there, we got hope.
1087
01:19:54,467 --> 01:19:56,927
Hello, brother.
1088
01:19:57,220 --> 01:19:59,096
Thirsty?
1089
01:20:09,816 --> 01:20:14,319
Long time, brother.
How you been keeping?
1090
01:20:14,821 --> 01:20:16,488
Well, you know...
1091
01:20:18,950 --> 01:20:23,245
I hear you been telling about how
you killed all them Jenkins brothers.
1092
01:20:23,329 --> 01:20:25,998
With one bullet, wasn't it?
1093
01:20:26,124 --> 01:20:28,000
Isn't that right?
1094
01:20:28,126 --> 01:20:32,337
All these good folks here believe
your little stories, don't they?
1095
01:20:32,505 --> 01:20:36,258
Why, they believe you're just
a stone killer, don't they?
1096
01:20:36,342 --> 01:20:39,595
Seems these folks trust you.
1097
01:20:39,679 --> 01:20:42,764
They think you're gonna
save their little town.
1098
01:20:42,849 --> 01:20:46,351
They think you're gonna
save their little souls!
1099
01:20:50,356 --> 01:20:53,942
But we know better, don't we?
1100
01:20:59,490 --> 01:21:03,118
So why don't you show your
friends here what you're made of?
1101
01:21:03,203 --> 01:21:06,038
Show them who you really are.
1102
01:21:06,164 --> 01:21:09,166
Why don't you just pull
your gun and shoot me?
1103
01:21:09,292 --> 01:21:12,169
But, of course, you
won't need all these.
1104
01:21:12,295 --> 01:21:14,213
Just one, right?
1105
01:21:16,507 --> 01:21:19,968
Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger.
1106
01:21:23,014 --> 01:21:25,390
You got killer in your eyes, son?
1107
01:21:27,685 --> 01:21:28,852
I don't see it.
1108
01:21:32,065 --> 01:21:35,359
You didn't do any of them
things you said, did you?
1109
01:21:35,485 --> 01:21:39,488
You didn't kill them Jenkins
brothers. You ain't even from the West!
1110
01:21:39,572 --> 01:21:40,739
Are you?
1111
01:21:41,532 --> 01:21:44,159
- Say it!
- No.
1112
01:21:44,244 --> 01:21:48,372
Speak up. I don't think
your friends here heard you.
1113
01:21:49,999 --> 01:21:51,041
No.
1114
01:21:51,167 --> 01:21:53,669
All you've done is lie
to these good people.
1115
01:21:53,753 --> 01:21:58,006
You ain't nothing but a fake
and a coward. Isn't that right?
1116
01:21:58,258 --> 01:21:59,424
Yes.
1117
01:21:59,550 --> 01:22:01,260
- Louder!
- Yes.
1118
01:22:05,723 --> 01:22:08,892
Listen close, you pathetic fraud.
1119
01:22:09,018 --> 01:22:12,020
This is my town now.
1120
01:22:12,105 --> 01:22:16,566
If I ever see you again, I will
take your soul straight down to hell!
1121
01:22:33,459 --> 01:22:35,085
Who are you?
1122
01:24:31,744 --> 01:24:33,203
Who am I?
1123
01:24:35,373 --> 01:24:37,082
I'm nobody.
1124
01:26:31,322 --> 01:26:33,281
Golden guardians.
1125
01:26:35,201 --> 01:26:36,826
The alabaster carriage.
1126
01:26:41,832 --> 01:26:44,334
The Spirit of the West.
1127
01:26:48,798 --> 01:26:52,676
Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir?
1128
01:26:55,179 --> 01:27:00,183
There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to
dig deep to find what you're looking for.
1129
01:27:01,852 --> 01:27:03,228
So you made it.
1130
01:27:04,188 --> 01:27:05,438
Is this heaven?
1131
01:27:05,523 --> 01:27:09,359
If it were, we'd be eating
Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak.
1132
01:27:09,569 --> 01:27:10,819
Yeah.
1133
01:27:10,987 --> 01:27:14,155
No kidding. What are you doing out here?
1134
01:27:14,532 --> 01:27:16,533
Searching, same as you.
1135
01:27:17,493 --> 01:27:20,787
I don't even know what
I'm looking for any more.
1136
01:27:20,871 --> 01:27:22,831
I don't even know who I am.
1137
01:27:23,374 --> 01:27:25,875
They used to call you
the Man with No Name.
1138
01:27:27,211 --> 01:27:31,131
These days they got a name
for just about everything.
1139
01:27:31,215 --> 01:27:35,510
Doesn't matter what they call you.
It's the deeds make the man.
1140
01:27:35,595 --> 01:27:39,389
Yeah, but my deeds just made things
worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney!
1141
01:27:39,515 --> 01:27:43,393
My friends believed in me, but
they need some kind of hero.
1142
01:27:43,519 --> 01:27:45,186
Then be a hero.
1143
01:27:45,271 --> 01:27:49,190
No. No, no, you don't understand.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
1144
01:27:49,275 --> 01:27:53,528
That's right. You came a long way to
find something that isn't out here.
1145
01:27:54,572 --> 01:27:57,282
Don't you see?
It's not about you.
1146
01:27:58,284 --> 01:27:59,868
It's about them.
1147
01:28:02,788 --> 01:28:04,205
But I can't go back.
1148
01:28:04,290 --> 01:28:06,708
Don't know that you got a choice, son.
1149
01:28:10,546 --> 01:28:13,298
No man can walk out on his own story.
1150
01:28:25,770 --> 01:28:27,479
So you made it.
1151
01:28:28,898 --> 01:28:32,776
That's right, amigo. The
other side of the road.
1152
01:28:35,237 --> 01:28:37,489
Did you just see that?
1153
01:28:37,907 --> 01:28:40,784
We each see what we need to see.
1154
01:28:41,786 --> 01:28:43,787
Beautiful, isn't it?
1155
01:28:55,800 --> 01:28:56,925
Yeah.
1156
01:28:58,010 --> 01:28:59,427
It is.
1157
01:28:59,970 --> 01:29:03,807
Come, my friend. I want
to show you something.
1158
01:29:06,811 --> 01:29:12,107
Many years ago, this entire
valley was covered in agua.
1159
01:29:12,191 --> 01:29:16,152
Now only one question remains.
1160
01:29:17,363 --> 01:29:18,947
Where did it go?
1161
01:29:53,899 --> 01:29:55,984
They follow the water.
1162
01:29:56,068 --> 01:29:59,195
They follow the water! Come on!
1163
01:30:34,064 --> 01:30:38,693
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1164
01:30:39,403 --> 01:30:41,362
What are you building out here?
1165
01:30:41,447 --> 01:30:43,364
The future, Mr Rango.
1166
01:30:43,449 --> 01:30:48,036
You can either be part of
it, or you can be left behind.
1167
01:30:50,414 --> 01:30:53,291
I was here before the highway
split this great valley.
1168
01:30:56,378 --> 01:30:58,963
I watched the march of progress
1169
01:30:59,089 --> 01:31:01,341
and I learned a thing or two.
1170
01:31:06,639 --> 01:31:08,807
Control the water
1171
01:31:08,933 --> 01:31:11,309
and you control everything.
1172
01:31:18,150 --> 01:31:20,401
Come now, Mr Rango.
1173
01:31:20,486 --> 01:31:22,320
You attribute divine power to me.
1174
01:31:22,446 --> 01:31:24,989
How on earth could I
possibly control the water?
1175
01:32:01,902 --> 01:32:03,903
What now, amigo?
1176
01:32:11,537 --> 01:32:14,581
No man can walk out on his own story.
1177
01:32:16,166 --> 01:32:17,584
I'm going back.
1178
01:32:19,044 --> 01:32:20,420
But why?
1179
01:32:21,547 --> 01:32:23,548
Because that's who I am.
1180
01:32:35,686 --> 01:32:40,356
You got a lot of nerve showing up
here, lawman. What is it you want?
1181
01:32:41,400 --> 01:32:45,069
Your pappy and them boys are about
to hang for something they didn't do.
1182
01:32:46,530 --> 01:32:48,197
But I've got a plan.
1183
01:33:16,268 --> 01:33:19,103
I appreciate how difficult
this is for you, Beans.
1184
01:33:19,229 --> 01:33:22,190
But you're making a practical decision.
1185
01:33:22,274 --> 01:33:25,026
Decisions, decisions.
1186
01:33:25,110 --> 01:33:28,279
There's no need for any more suffering.
1187
01:33:34,787 --> 01:33:38,289
Your family's ranch is
nothing but a wasteland now.
1188
01:33:38,832 --> 01:33:43,586
Sign the deed and relieve
yourself of your father's burden.
1189
01:33:45,631 --> 01:33:48,466
My daddy was not a burden!
1190
01:33:48,592 --> 01:33:50,969
Keep your blood money
and I'll keep my land!
1191
01:33:57,101 --> 01:34:00,269
Do what he says or, by all
the fires of the black pit,
1192
01:34:00,354 --> 01:34:03,773
I'll squeeze them pretty
brown eyes out of your skull!
1193
01:34:04,525 --> 01:34:06,734
Now, hold on, Jake.
There's no need to...
1194
01:34:06,819 --> 01:34:09,153
Let me do my job! You brought me in.
1195
01:34:09,279 --> 01:34:11,823
Now we're gonna play
this thing out to the end!
1196
01:34:12,616 --> 01:34:15,118
Sign the damn paper, woman!
1197
01:34:15,327 --> 01:34:17,120
Go to hell!
1198
01:34:17,287 --> 01:34:19,622
Where do you think I come from?
1199
01:34:20,207 --> 01:34:22,542
Look into my eyes.
1200
01:34:22,626 --> 01:34:25,003
I want to see you die.
1201
01:34:30,134 --> 01:34:31,342
Jake!
1202
01:34:34,680 --> 01:34:36,681
I'm calling you out!
1203
01:34:38,976 --> 01:34:40,476
Jake!
1204
01:34:40,811 --> 01:34:45,189
This day just got a
little more interesting.
1205
01:35:12,426 --> 01:35:13,634
Put her down.
1206
01:35:13,719 --> 01:35:17,346
Or what, little man?
You going to kill me?
1207
01:35:17,431 --> 01:35:19,348
That's just about the size of it.
1208
01:35:22,019 --> 01:35:24,645
- Get your filthy paws off me!
- Shut your gob!
1209
01:35:24,730 --> 01:35:27,899
All right, Sheriff, make your move.
1210
01:37:00,159 --> 01:37:01,659
Now amigos!
1211
01:37:06,206 --> 01:37:08,875
- Heave! Heave!
- Heave! Heave!
1212
01:37:26,810 --> 01:37:29,061
That was a bad idea.
1213
01:37:33,483 --> 01:37:34,525
Thirsty, brother?
1214
01:37:38,238 --> 01:37:40,364
Here it comes!
1215
01:37:42,159 --> 01:37:43,201
No. No!
1216
01:37:47,581 --> 01:37:48,831
It's a miracle!
1217
01:37:48,999 --> 01:37:50,374
Look out!
1218
01:37:57,507 --> 01:37:59,175
- Lookee there!
- What is that?
1219
01:38:01,094 --> 01:38:02,511
It's our salvation, Pa!
1220
01:38:02,596 --> 01:38:05,723
It's a jailbreak,
boys! We're busting out!
1221
01:38:15,943 --> 01:38:18,199
I'm gonna blow
so many holes in you,
1222
01:38:18,280 --> 01:38:20,029
your guts'll be leaking lead!
1223
01:38:20,113 --> 01:38:22,865
Well, then it's a good
thing I brought some backup.
1224
01:38:34,127 --> 01:38:35,211
What?
1225
01:38:38,966 --> 01:38:40,841
Ain't no hawk.
1226
01:38:40,926 --> 01:38:43,386
Ain't nothing but bats!
1227
01:38:45,555 --> 01:38:49,809
Stick to the plan, boys!
Let's bleed that devil dry!
1228
01:39:01,238 --> 01:39:03,406
It only takes one bullet.
1229
01:39:03,490 --> 01:39:05,616
You ain't got the nerve.
1230
01:39:06,785 --> 01:39:08,244
Try me.
1231
01:39:12,582 --> 01:39:14,250
Oh, Mr Rango.
1232
01:39:14,918 --> 01:39:16,585
Aren't you forgetting something?
1233
01:39:21,842 --> 01:39:23,801
Hand me your gun, Sheriff.
1234
01:39:26,680 --> 01:39:28,472
Now, Mr Rango.
1235
01:39:40,610 --> 01:39:42,945
Beans! Hold on. Don't
worry, I got a plan.
1236
01:39:43,864 --> 01:39:45,990
Help!
1237
01:39:46,116 --> 01:39:48,451
Open the door!
1238
01:39:49,036 --> 01:39:50,536
Okay, plan B.
1239
01:39:51,705 --> 01:39:52,830
Beans, you're mumbling.
1240
01:39:53,373 --> 01:39:57,543
All my problems taken
care of except for one.
1241
01:39:58,211 --> 01:39:59,337
It's a new West, Jake.
1242
01:39:59,463 --> 01:40:03,799
There's no room for gunslingers
any more. We're businessmen now.
1243
01:40:03,884 --> 01:40:05,634
Yeah, we got new hats.
1244
01:40:05,719 --> 01:40:09,347
Where I come from, we
call this improvisation.
1245
01:40:10,724 --> 01:40:12,475
You came back.
1246
01:40:20,692 --> 01:40:21,901
What was that?
1247
01:40:21,985 --> 01:40:24,570
No need to panic, but I think
you just swallowed plan B.
1248
01:40:24,696 --> 01:40:25,821
What?
1249
01:40:27,407 --> 01:40:28,949
Okay, panic time.
1250
01:40:29,034 --> 01:40:31,994
You and the Sheriff are
more alike than you think.
1251
01:40:32,079 --> 01:40:33,913
You're nothing but legends.
1252
01:40:33,997 --> 01:40:37,750
Pretty soon, no one will
believe you even existed.
1253
01:40:41,004 --> 01:40:43,589
One last bullet to kill one last outlaw.
1254
01:40:45,926 --> 01:40:47,676
How fitting.
1255
01:41:21,920 --> 01:41:24,088
Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together,
1256
01:41:24,214 --> 01:41:28,342
we can reach a mutually beneficial
solution to our current situation.
1257
01:41:28,427 --> 01:41:30,719
You better take it up with him.
1258
01:41:41,940 --> 01:41:43,732
One bullet.
1259
01:41:45,110 --> 01:41:47,445
I tip my hat to you,
1260
01:41:47,571 --> 01:41:50,448
one legend to another.
1261
01:41:52,284 --> 01:41:54,493
What was that you said?
1262
01:41:54,578 --> 01:41:59,290
"Pretty soon, no one will
believe you even existed."
1263
01:41:59,458 --> 01:42:01,584
No, Jake! No!
1264
01:42:13,930 --> 01:42:15,306
Rango!
1265
01:42:16,766 --> 01:42:20,561
You brought the water back,
just like you promised.
1266
01:42:20,645 --> 01:42:22,313
You really are a hero.
1267
01:42:23,607 --> 01:42:26,775
Well, the thing about
heroes is, whenever you...
1268
01:42:26,860 --> 01:42:28,652
Don't spoil it.
1269
01:42:28,778 --> 01:42:29,987
Right.
1270
01:42:30,489 --> 01:42:33,782
Well, I don't know about you all,
but I could sure go for a dip.
1271
01:42:37,287 --> 01:42:40,206
And so the lizard completes his journey
1272
01:42:40,290 --> 01:42:44,335
from humble beginnings to
the legend we sing of today.
1273
01:42:44,461 --> 01:42:49,131
And although he is certain to die,
perhaps from a household accident,
1274
01:42:49,216 --> 01:42:52,259
which account for 65%
of all unnatural deaths,
1275
01:42:52,344 --> 01:42:55,804
the people of the village
will honour his memory
1276
01:42:55,972 --> 01:42:59,141
even as they abandon their dignity.
1277
01:43:06,691 --> 01:43:09,068
- I'm going in.
- How about a cold one, there?
1278
01:43:09,152 --> 01:43:11,195
Water ain't money. Money is money.
1279
01:43:11,321 --> 01:43:13,906
- Well, I ain't got no...
- We're talking hard cash.
1280
01:43:14,532 --> 01:43:15,783
We have a problem.
1281
01:43:15,867 --> 01:43:18,535
Who let Snuggles in the pool again?
1282
01:43:18,662 --> 01:43:21,080
I really think you complete me.
1283
01:43:21,164 --> 01:43:23,374
Prithee, unhand my fair maiden.
1284
01:43:23,500 --> 01:43:26,585
- Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five.
- How can you keep missing your mark?
1285
01:43:26,670 --> 01:43:27,711
What's my motivation?
1286
01:43:29,547 --> 01:43:31,048
Oh, you kids.
1287
01:43:31,174 --> 01:43:33,008
What did you do that for?
1288
01:43:33,093 --> 01:43:34,021
I was just checking.
1289
01:43:34,102 --> 01:43:35,552
I hear if you get too sunburnt,
1290
01:43:35,679 --> 01:43:37,429
you can peel a man's face right off.
1291
01:43:37,514 --> 01:43:39,102
- What is it?
- That there's some human spleen.
1292
01:43:39,182 --> 01:43:40,266
Don't touch it.
1293
01:43:40,350 --> 01:43:41,938
That's the second time
that's happened to me.
1294
01:43:42,018 --> 01:43:43,602
This water thing's great.
1295
01:43:43,687 --> 01:43:45,187
I'm urinating right now.
1296
01:43:45,272 --> 01:43:48,399
Adult swim, next five minutes.
1297
01:43:48,525 --> 01:43:50,859
Stay between the buoys.
1298
01:43:50,944 --> 01:43:52,282
I packed your lunch. Danish is in there
1299
01:43:52,362 --> 01:43:54,117
and I picked the raisins
out just the way you like it.
1300
01:43:54,197 --> 01:43:56,203
Don't forget, your nasal
spray is in your saddle-bag...
1301
01:43:56,283 --> 01:43:57,954
- Beans!
- ...and your moisturising lotion...
1302
01:43:58,034 --> 01:44:00,244
- Now, Beans! We've talked about this.
- Lotion?
1303
01:44:00,370 --> 01:44:03,080
That's for my gun.
That's gun lotion.
1304
01:44:03,248 --> 01:44:04,790
Sheriff, where are you headed?
1305
01:44:04,874 --> 01:44:06,355
There's trouble
down a dry creek.
1306
01:44:06,436 --> 01:44:07,793
Bad Bill's been acting up again.
1307
01:44:07,877 --> 01:44:09,794
Now, honey,
you come back with all your digits.
1308
01:44:09,879 --> 01:44:11,218
And don't go trying to be a hero.
1309
01:44:11,298 --> 01:44:12,756
Beans, you are missing the point.
1310
01:44:12,882 --> 01:44:15,217
I got an image to protect now.
1311
01:44:16,303 --> 01:44:17,886
Where's my Tic Tacs?
1312
01:44:19,222 --> 01:44:21,140
- I found them.
- What's going on?
1313
01:44:21,224 --> 01:44:24,143
Well, in order to satisfy
the needs of the collective,
1314
01:44:24,227 --> 01:44:26,020
the hero must abandon the self
1315
01:44:26,104 --> 01:44:30,065
and solidify his image as an icon
that will forever be remembered.
1316
01:44:30,900 --> 01:44:33,277
So, this is the sunset shot.
1317
01:44:41,745 --> 01:44:43,787
Give them a good one, amigo.
1318
01:44:53,256 --> 01:44:54,798
Ready, Excelsior?
1319
01:44:55,091 --> 01:44:57,051
My fellow comrades.
1320
01:44:57,135 --> 01:44:59,803
There will be times
when you doubt yourself.
1321
01:44:59,888 --> 01:45:03,098
When you feel pummelled
by the cataclysms of life,
1322
01:45:03,516 --> 01:45:07,061
remember this moment. Remember me.
1323
01:45:07,604 --> 01:45:10,397
Know that I will be there watching you,
1324
01:45:10,607 --> 01:45:13,442
sometimes at inappropriate moments.
1325
01:45:13,735 --> 01:45:16,070
That's part of the deal.
1326
01:45:16,154 --> 01:45:19,615
And remember, within all of us resides
1327
01:45:19,949 --> 01:45:22,701
the true Spirit of the...
1328
01:45:25,622 --> 01:45:27,915
Let's take it from the top.
101192
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