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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 2 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,978 In the land of Sparta... 3 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,282 when babies were born... 4 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,016 the elders would inspect them for defects. 5 00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:01,584 BABY Ah. Are you my mama? 6 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,925 'Cause I'm ready to suckle a teat. 7 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,436 If any imperfections were found... 8 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:17,942 the baby was rejected. 9 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,412 And if the baby... 10 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,575 was Vietnamese... 11 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,313 Brangelina had first dibs. 12 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,249 Cute, huh? 13 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,860 Behold Leonidas... 14 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,420 Ah-ooh! 15 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:41,194 ...the perfect Spartan. 16 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:49,240 From an early age... 17 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,970 Leonidas was taught to fight. 18 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,807 Come on, you little shit! Come on! 19 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:54,369 You can't beat me. 20 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,937 You're never gonna be a Spartan, never. 21 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,539 Take this, Granny! 22 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,881 Aah! 23 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:06,389 He was tortured, taught to show no pain. 24 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,450 Tell me, Mr. Bond... 25 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,120 what is the account number? 26 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,630 Who the hell is Mr. Bond? 27 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,291 I'm Leonidas. 28 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,301 You're testing my patience, Double-Oh. 29 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:18,337 But I am not Double- 30 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:19,632 Oh! 31 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,635 Oh! 32 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,473 Little Miss Sunshine! 33 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,378 Oh, oh- 34 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,417 Here's a nice one. Oh- 35 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,180 That's right. Yeah. 36 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:37,348 No, no, no. 37 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:42,586 Mr. Bond, I'd like you to meet Captain Adorable. 38 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,629 Good boy. 39 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:46,324 Good boy. Who's a good boy? 40 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,868 Leonidas was sent into the wild... 41 00:02:56,943 --> 00:03:00,310 to learn how to survive. 42 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:07,483 He braved the elements... 43 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,580 endured starvation. 44 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:19,823 No mayo? 45 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,561 This is bullshit! 46 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,939 The beast stalks Leonidas... 47 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:33,172 red eyes glowing like the fires ofhell. 48 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,756 Man, you've got happy feet. 49 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,697 What you laughin' at, asswipe? 50 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,102 I'm about to shove my happy foot up your ass... 51 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,606 - cracker. - Nice penguin. 52 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,801 Where you going, pussy? 53 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:08,776 I'm 'bout to make you my bitch, Leonidas. 54 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,372 Lick my snowballs. 55 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:19,186 Now eat my penguin asshole. 56 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,193 That Taco Bell ain't sittin' right. 57 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:23,624 Oh, it smells! 58 00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:26,631 Ha! Caught you with your mouth open. 59 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,712 You dead, Leonidas. 60 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,112 Say "Wassup?" To Anna Nicole for me. 61 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,682 Shit! I'm stuck! 62 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,723 Oh, we got a penguin pinned down! 63 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,223 Help! Help! 64 00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:01,223 Oh! My ass! 65 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,201 My ass hurt! Oh! 66 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,736 Why you wanna do me like that? 67 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,897 Come on, man, I could hook you up. 68 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,133 We could work it out. 69 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:10,698 I'll suck your dick! 70 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:18,181 And the boy that was cast into the wild... 71 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:21,118 returned a king! 72 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:43,207 # Oh! # 73 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,176 #Yeah, yeah # 74 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:46,506 #Ak' sizzle # 75 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,103 - #The bomb # - # Get down # 76 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,240 # Baby, down, I know you love the sound # 77 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:51,943 #When we do what we do # 78 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,509 - #We get you in the mood # - #Ak'Sent's in the building # 79 00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,851 - # Pick it up, pick it up # - #Yeah # 80 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,447 - # I know you love the feel # - # Come on # 81 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,151 # Let's keep it on the real # 82 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,319 #This... is like the bomb # 83 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,623 - # So fresh # - Whoa! 84 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,186 #The bomb, so dope # 85 00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,663 #The bomb, so def # 86 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,462 - #The bomb # - Boobs. 87 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,832 # So cool, the bomb, so fresh # 88 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,268 #The bomb, so dope # 89 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:13,270 #The bomb # 90 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,330 Sign my rack? 91 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,035 # So cool # 92 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,634 And they're real, too. 93 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,474 Yes! 94 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,944 Marry me? 95 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,984 What's that? 96 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,426 The combination to my chastity belt. 97 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,559 Oh- 98 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,000 Leonidas! 99 00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:59,015 Leonidas was stoked. 100 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:03,988 He wed Margo, and she bore him a fine son. 101 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:07,822 And life in the land of Sparta was good. 102 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,191 Yes! Yes! Good! 103 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,493 Thanks, Dad. 104 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:19,193 Give me your hand. 105 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,036 Remember, Son: A warrior... 106 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,735 must learn to take a hit. 107 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,006 Fight with your head; 108 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,877 think with your heart. 109 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:30,916 Huh? 110 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,917 Give him the pile driver, honey. 111 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,046 Pile driver? 112 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,423 That's my boy. 113 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,327 My queen. 114 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,428 No! 115 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,938 - Captain. - No! 116 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,770 I see Leonidas is molding our future king of Sparta... 117 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,242 to be a man. 118 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,911 I remember when my father used to beat me. 119 00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,252 Traditional rites of passage. 120 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,748 No. My father was an alcoholic. 121 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,122 Ow! 122 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,827 Xerxes' messenger awaits, my king. 123 00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,439 Greetings, Leonidas. 124 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,136 Greetings, messenger. 125 00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:35,780 What the hell was that? 126 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,780 What? 127 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,941 You just kissed me! 128 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,009 That is how men of Sparta greet one another. 129 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,487 High fives for the women... 130 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,354 and open-mouth tongue kisses for the men. 131 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,699 Ooh. 132 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,134 I get it. 133 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,193 Get what? 134 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,866 Uh... y-you have a... 135 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,772 "free society" here. 136 00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,004 Yes. The freest. 137 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,807 Uh, not that there's anything wrong with that. 138 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,279 I dig big black dudes. 139 00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,788 Yeah. 140 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:22,658 Come, messenger, let us walk. 141 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:28,867 The great Xerxes has taken over the world... 142 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:30,698 with his vast Persian army... 143 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,933 and has set his sights on his final conquest- 144 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,496 Sparta. 145 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,812 Let us talk by the giant pit of death. 146 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,473 Okay. 147 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,312 Xerxes is a kind god-king... 148 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,817 and offers these... 149 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,184 peaceful alternatives to war. 150 00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,020 No blood will be shed... 151 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:56,186 as long as you Spartan men build his pyramids... 152 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:59,823 your women become his sex slaves... 153 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,628 and your children... 154 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,430 work at sweatshops... 155 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,265 making Nikes. 156 00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,440 That sounds reasonable. 157 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,770 I'm sure you would... 158 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,744 think so, Councilman Traitoro. 159 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,570 Tell Xerxes... 160 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,077 ...to take his proposal... 161 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,310 and shove it! 162 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,080 What the hell?! 163 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,212 What? He came on to me! 164 00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,482 I did not. 165 00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,751 Dawg, your wife's a ho. 166 00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,158 This means war! 167 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,425 Hey, hey, hey, it's cool, it's cool. 168 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,023 Uh, we got San Francisco... 169 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,328 and West Hollywood. 170 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,336 We don't need Sparta. 171 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,634 I'll just tell Xerxes it's a "no go. " 172 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,911 Kick his ass in. 173 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,145 This is madness! 174 00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,244 Madness? 175 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,822 This is Sparta! 176 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,298 Why did you do that? 177 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,666 He was backing down. 178 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:51,609 My lord, he will tell Xerxes that Sparta... 179 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:53,645 is not for them, so, whatever you do... 180 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,374 don't kick him into the pit of death. 181 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,973 Stop kicking people into the pit of death. Really! 182 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,812 # Oh, no # 183 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,513 # Oh, yeah # 184 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,113 # Uh-huh, yeah. # 185 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,385 I don't know why y'all... 186 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,723 have to always get on my back for everything. 187 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,386 I'm a responsible adult. 188 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,488 Look at me- I'm booby-feeding my baby. 189 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,396 Sometimes I like to give him fried milk. 190 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,661 I call 'em milk poppers. 191 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,963 It's just like breast milk, but it's fried. 192 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,264 And you just pop 'em in your mouth. 193 00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:19,395 He loves 'em. Don't you, baby! 194 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,633 # Goo-goo, gah-gah # 195 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,574 # Gah-gah, gah-gah-gah-gah. # 196 00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,341 I'm a smart shopper. 197 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,247 I got this entire outfit in an alleyway from a Mexico woman. 198 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,443 # Bargain # 199 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:33,678 # Shopping # 200 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,050 #Yeah. # 201 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,679 Why do y'all think I'm messed up? 202 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,247 Shit! Do I look crazy to you? 203 00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:47,231 Oh... 204 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,995 my God! 205 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,829 Aw, damn, cuz! 206 00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,303 There goes my palimony! 207 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,964 K- Fed ain't havin' it, yo. 208 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,372 K- Fed, come back to me, please! 209 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,843 Please? I'll let you under my skirt. 210 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,539 There goes K-Fed's cheddar, yo. 211 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,050 # Oh, yeah! # 212 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,315 #Ah-ah-ah, yeah! # 213 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:12,824 # Ooh-ooh-ooh! # 214 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,189 #Yeah! # 215 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:16,895 #Yeah! # 216 00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:22,056 # I'm not gay! # 217 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,267 Leonidas. 218 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,566 Ryan Seacrest? 219 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,337 How did you feel about that kick? 220 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,004 Let's see what the judges have to say. 221 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,013 - Randy? - Yo, Leo, dawg, man... 222 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:38,879 I, I wasn't really feelin' you on that kick, dawg. 223 00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,851 I don't know what happened, man. 224 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,717 It was just all right for me, dawg. 225 00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,450 - I mean, just all right, dawg. - Paula? 226 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:49,255 Leonidas... 227 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,853 you... 228 00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,694 move me. 229 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,427 Y- 230 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,966 I don't- 231 00:13:59,038 --> 00:13:59,970 Simon? 232 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,097 Leonidas... 233 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,641 I thought the kick... 234 00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:07,042 was utterly... dreadful. 235 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,136 Oh... Simon- 236 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,579 In fact, I've seen better kicks... 237 00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:11,275 from a geriatric donkey. 238 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,442 Oh- 239 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,543 And I'm not talking about you, Paula. 240 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,054 I am sorry, King... 241 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,525 but your journey ends here. 242 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,660 Oh, go yourselves! 243 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,893 What are y? 244 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:53,186 Seacrest out! 245 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,284 Excellent work, my king. 246 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,728 It's time to consult with the prophets. 247 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,372 The ancient prophets were advisers to the king. 248 00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:20,908 Grotesque swine, their consult came with a bribe. 249 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:27,191 Oh. Oh, Oxy 10. 250 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,352 Oh, Neutrogena. 251 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,895 This has an SPF. 252 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,225 Th-This is all-day protection. 253 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,856 Look at this. 254 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,525 Exfoliator with alpha hydroxy. 255 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,568 This is good for you, Glenn. 256 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,603 Rub it all over your disgusting face. 257 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,569 What need you, King Leonidas? 258 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:45,075 Ancient prophets... 259 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,044 I need your guidance. 260 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:50,741 I'm assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia. 261 00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:55,185 I'm going to take them in the rear. 262 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,484 Here, here. 263 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,524 And then I'm gonna reach around... 264 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,785 ...and I'm gonna take them again from the front! 265 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:05,929 What?! 266 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,295 Why are you sniggering?! 267 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,061 Nothing. 268 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,658 It's- no-nothing- 269 00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,034 What's so damn funny?! 270 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,039 Look, it's all there for you to see! 271 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,438 These are battle formations! 272 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:17,440 Battle form- 273 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:18,635 That's what he calls them! 274 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:22,203 It looks like backstage at an Elton John concert! 275 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:23,441 Cut it out! This isn't funny! 276 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,005 This is serious business! 277 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,312 No Spartan goes to war... 278 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,617 without first consulting... 279 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,850 the oracle! 280 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:55,403 The prophets chose only the most beautiful... 281 00:16:55,481 --> 00:17:00,544 of Spartan girls to be their oracle. 282 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,316 Oh- 283 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,085 Ugly Betty? 284 00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,558 She has a great personality. 285 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,190 Eww! 286 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,630 I look likeJabba the Hutt. 287 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,065 That is hot to me. 288 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,412 Oh- 289 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,950 See-nah skah-nah... 290 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:43,290 labwana no-cho dame. 291 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,763 "Fo' shizel my nizzel. " 292 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:53,271 "Save the cheerleader... save the world. " 293 00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:56,068 Actually, I'm, I'm not into Heroes. 294 00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,234 "Douche bag says what?" 295 00:17:58,310 --> 00:17:59,106 What? 296 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,407 "Chest waxer says what?" 297 00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:06,382 What? 298 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:10,381 He walked into that one. 299 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:12,651 What, what are you saying to me? I don't understand. 300 00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:15,989 Go to war with Persia and you will surely die. 301 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:21,656 You're screwed, dude. 302 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,883 What?! 303 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,566 He looks like a Ken doll! 304 00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,599 It's cold! 305 00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:20,590 Tommy Lee? 306 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,297 Shaq? 307 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,434 Borat? 308 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,071 Oakland Raiders? 309 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,377 Why is my king so restless? 310 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,745 Can't sleep. 311 00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:48,684 It's this whole Battle ofThermopylae thing. 312 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,656 Are you still thinking about what that young oracle said? 313 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,990 There's only one woman whose words you should listen to. 314 00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,321 Oprah. 315 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,695 Your wife? 316 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,859 Right, right. 317 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,130 How will I be tried... 318 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,796 in the court of public opinion? 319 00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,837 Well, Harry Knowles at "Ain't It Cool News"... 320 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:15,471 says this movie is just a cheap rip-off of 300. 321 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:25,018 Even if the oracle doesn't support you, I do. 322 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,388 And Sparta does. 323 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,484 This could be our last night together. 324 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,154 You wanna do it? 325 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,131 Like we've never done it before. 326 00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:00,823 ...97... 98... 327 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:03,360 ...99... 328 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,986 100! 329 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:08,123 Beat my record. 330 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:15,398 Captain. 331 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:16,736 My king. 332 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:26,044 Have you assembled my army who are ready... 333 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,985 to fight to the death for the freedom of Sparta? 334 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,180 Yes, King. 335 00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:39,159 I wanted 300. 336 00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:41,995 This seems like... less. 337 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,001 These were the only men who met with your stringent... 338 00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:46,003 specifications. 339 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,335 "Hunky with deep Mediterranean tans... 340 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,806 "hot bods... " 341 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,775 and, uh... 342 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,673 Yes? 343 00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:54,006 "... well endowed. " 344 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,341 Haawoo! Haawoo! 345 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,540 Haawoo! 346 00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,173 Ready to fight for you, my king! 347 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,218 Never give up! Never surrender! 348 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:03,448 To infinity and beyond! 349 00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:07,751 He has a lot of heart, my king. 350 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,487 And nice man boobs. 351 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,593 Indeed. 352 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:18,932 These men will do. 353 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,872 You are a fine captain, Captain. 354 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:26,104 But a better friend... there is none. 355 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,805 Thank you. 356 00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:43,989 Thank you. 357 00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:45,120 Mm-hm. 358 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,129 Damn! 359 00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:50,401 He's got a huge package. 360 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,004 I brought you some fudge. Mom said that you like to pack it. 361 00:22:58,076 --> 00:22:59,805 She's a good woman. 362 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,971 Good-bye, Father. 363 00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,409 Farewell, my son. 364 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,412 Introductions? 365 00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:09,818 King Leonidas, this is my son, Sonio. 366 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,412 My king. 367 00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,924 Why is he not fighting? 368 00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,186 Well, he is not a warrior. 369 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,454 And he's my only son... 370 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,996 destined to carry on my name. 371 00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:22,190 What do you think? 372 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,360 Yummy. 373 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,427 Work it, sister. 374 00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:28,598 I think he's fierce. 375 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:31,566 # Come and give it 2 me # 376 00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:34,544 #You know you want my body, need my body # 377 00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:35,841 # Show me them goodies... # 378 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,176 And if you don't like it... 379 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,774 you can kiss my fat ass! 380 00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:43,020 Ooh! Oh! 381 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,020 #... Watchin' your curves # 382 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,078 #Thinking of words, baby # 383 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,124 # My vision is blurred... # 384 00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:48,182 Congratulations, Sonio. 385 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,319 You're now on your way to becoming Sparta's... 386 00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:51,828 Next top warrior! 387 00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:52,864 #... right where my mind is # 388 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,592 # Gimme your goody and your body # 389 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:55,894 # Uh! Come and give it 2 me # 390 00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:58,231 #You know you want my body, need my body # 391 00:23:58,303 --> 00:23:59,930 # Show me them goodies # 392 00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:03,065 #You're gonna love my body, touch my body... # 393 00:24:03,141 --> 00:24:04,836 Spartan! 394 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:15,052 My child... 395 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,384 I shall never forget you. 396 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,788 You are so small now... 397 00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:23,191 but one day you will grow to be big and strong... 398 00:24:23,261 --> 00:24:24,558 like your father. 399 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:25,994 That's not your son. 400 00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,497 You asshole. 401 00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,366 Take care of your mother. 402 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,505 Stay tough, Son. 403 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,388 Come back with your shield... 404 00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:53,287 or on it. 405 00:24:53,358 --> 00:24:56,885 And if I come back on it, I want you to move on. 406 00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:58,930 I would never. 407 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:01,090 Hell, if you died, I'd play the field. 408 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,690 To be honest... 409 00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:06,203 I've always wanted to do a fat chick. 410 00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:36,601 The men are ready, my king. 411 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:39,933 Good. We'll head south to the Hot Gates... 412 00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:42,269 where we'll intercept the Persian army. 413 00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:43,705 Where are you going? 414 00:25:43,775 --> 00:25:46,744 The oracle said if we went to war, we'd be screwed. 415 00:25:46,811 --> 00:25:51,373 The oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake. 416 00:25:51,449 --> 00:25:53,314 But I beg to differ. 417 00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:04,086 Give the order, Captain. 418 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:07,757 Spartans! In formation! 419 00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:09,163 Ah-ooh! 420 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:12,101 Spartans heading south. 421 00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,175 Move out! 422 00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:25,573 # Oh, no, not I # 423 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,379 # I will survive # 424 00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:30,216 # Oh, as long as I know how to love # 425 00:26:30,288 --> 00:26:32,119 # I know I'll stay alive # 426 00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:34,021 # I've got all my life to live # 427 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,151 # I've got all my love to give # 428 00:26:36,227 --> 00:26:37,888 #And I'll survive # 429 00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:40,158 # I will survive # 430 00:26:40,231 --> 00:26:42,028 # Hey, hey # 431 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,727 Woo! 432 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:54,544 # I'll survive # 433 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,478 # I will survive # 434 00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,675 # I will survive! # 435 00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:00,342 #Yeah # 436 00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:01,476 # Ooh... # 437 00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,180 The fearless Spartans... 438 00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:05,950 reached the Hot Gates... 439 00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:09,687 where danger lurked around every corner. 440 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:14,394 Halt skipping! 441 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:20,070 Exhausted from thejourney... 442 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:24,040 the Spartans replenished their electrolytes. 443 00:27:31,082 --> 00:27:33,915 Gatorade. Is it in you? 444 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:42,425 What do you think, my king? 445 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,122 We'll use the narrow passageway of the Hot Gates... 446 00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:46,993 to funnel the Persians in... 447 00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:50,466 where their vast numbers won't count for shit. 448 00:27:50,535 --> 00:27:53,060 Captain, have the men found any other trails... 449 00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:55,538 that the Persians could use to attack us? 450 00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:57,040 None, sir. 451 00:27:57,108 --> 00:28:00,635 WOMAN I know such a road, my king. 452 00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:09,986 Back off, hideous creature. 453 00:28:10,055 --> 00:28:12,216 There's a secret goat path just above the Hot Gates. 454 00:28:12,290 --> 00:28:14,884 If the Persians found it, they could outflank you. 455 00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:16,426 Slow your roll, Captain. 456 00:28:18,296 --> 00:28:20,287 Reveal yourself, creature. 457 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:25,329 Paris Hilton? 458 00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:26,427 Hey, fellas. 459 00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:27,994 What happened to you? 460 00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,564 Oh. You mean the hump? 461 00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:33,167 Yeah. The hump. 462 00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:35,007 It was all that, "You're going to jail. 463 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,604 "Now you can get out of jail. 464 00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:37,978 Now you're going back to jail. " 465 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:41,314 And on and on and on and on- Ugh. 466 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,081 It's just been really confusing. 467 00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:45,213 I mean, even Tinkerbell's affected by it. 468 00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:46,655 She hasn't moved since Saturday. 469 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,625 But she still poops, which is weird. 470 00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:50,251 And me... 471 00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:52,956 they've turned me into this, like... 472 00:28:53,031 --> 00:28:55,625 totally grotesque monster! 473 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,668 And I don't even know... oh. 474 00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,761 # Do tha hump-de-hump... # 475 00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:01,829 Hang on a minute. 476 00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:05,171 Oh- 477 00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:07,268 Hello? 478 00:29:07,345 --> 00:29:08,505 Oh, hey, Nicole. 479 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,514 Nothing. Just some guys with swords. 480 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,709 No, I'm talking about their actual swords, Nicole. 481 00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:14,046 You're gross. 482 00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:15,711 Yeah, I'm hungry. Did you eat? 483 00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:17,152 Oh, you ate an almond? 484 00:29:17,222 --> 00:29:19,315 Oh, yeah, you're done eating for the day. 485 00:29:19,390 --> 00:29:22,325 Okay. And then let's go to Pinkberry. 486 00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:23,553 Bye, sexy. 487 00:29:25,997 --> 00:29:27,157 Look... 488 00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:29,666 it's my dream to be a Spartan. 489 00:29:29,734 --> 00:29:35,036 I want to fight for you, my king. 490 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:41,545 - What can you do? - Well- Mmm. 491 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:45,276 Have you seen my video? 492 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:48,683 I don't like the way you handle a spear. 493 00:29:48,753 --> 00:29:51,551 You grip the shaft firmly. 494 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,750 Then with one hand on the base... 495 00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:57,124 you slide the other all the way up to the tip. 496 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,060 That's hot. 497 00:30:03,234 --> 00:30:05,759 I'm sorry, but we cannot use you. 498 00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:08,967 No! 499 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,235 It's not fair! 500 00:30:11,309 --> 00:30:14,904 Mom! 501 00:30:17,515 --> 00:30:21,349 You'll be sorry! You're making a terrible mistake! 502 00:30:22,954 --> 00:30:26,117 I'm not as stupid as I look! 503 00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:31,223 Help. 504 00:30:31,429 --> 00:30:33,420 Look! Persians! 505 00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:16,336 I am the emissary to the great god-king Xerxes... 506 00:31:16,407 --> 00:31:18,932 come to accept your surrender. 507 00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:21,205 Oh, we're not here to surrender. 508 00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:22,439 Haawoo! 509 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:28,311 Xerxes will enjoy making you his slaves. 510 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:49,300 Ow. 511 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,367 Spartans! 512 00:31:53,444 --> 00:31:55,173 Yah! 513 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:57,077 Let's battle! 514 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,915 Oh, we about to stomp the yard. 515 00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:06,814 SPARTANS We are the Spartans. 516 00:32:08,126 --> 00:32:09,252 We stomp the yard. 517 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:11,386 Check out our buns. 518 00:32:11,462 --> 00:32:14,090 They are rock hard. 519 00:32:16,634 --> 00:32:17,566 Ooh, ooh. 520 00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:19,500 Spartans! 521 00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:20,537 Yeah! 522 00:32:25,176 --> 00:32:27,667 Persians! 523 00:32:27,745 --> 00:32:29,804 Let's show 'em why we're national champs... 524 00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:31,280 three years runnin'. 525 00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:32,373 You dig? 526 00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:40,848 Oh, come on. 527 00:32:40,925 --> 00:32:43,587 We like wearing turbans and eating baklava. 528 00:32:43,661 --> 00:32:45,458 We like chicks with burkas... 529 00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:47,020 that cover their ta-tas. 530 00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:50,192 Ooh, ah! Ooh, ah! 531 00:32:50,268 --> 00:32:52,634 Persians, huh! 532 00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:56,598 You're joking, right? 533 00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:03,113 Man, come on. 534 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,707 - #You gotta shake your ass # - Let's go! 535 00:33:06,784 --> 00:33:08,115 # Shake your tambourine # 536 00:33:08,186 --> 00:33:09,813 # Go and get yourself a whistle, shake your tambourine # 537 00:33:09,887 --> 00:33:11,650 # Go and get yourself a whistle # 538 00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:12,781 # Shake your tambourine... # 539 00:33:12,857 --> 00:33:13,881 # Ladies! # 540 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,152 # Shake your tambourine... # 541 00:33:15,226 --> 00:33:16,887 - # Ladies! # - # Shake your tambourine... # 542 00:33:16,961 --> 00:33:22,724 # Shake, shake, shake, shake # 543 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:23,926 # Shake your tambourine... # 544 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,629 # Ladies and gentlemen # 545 00:33:25,703 --> 00:33:27,102 # E-V-E come through in the Mazarat' # 546 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:29,332 # Doin' it big like I live in the Taj Mahal... # 547 00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:30,339 Yeah! 548 00:33:34,812 --> 00:33:37,406 #That's real, been the chick that they talked about # 549 00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:40,417 # "God damn" is the words that come out they mouth... # 550 00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:41,577 Oh- 551 00:33:41,652 --> 00:33:42,641 #Ask for her # 552 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,948 #Yeah, she back and cakin' out # 553 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,785 - # Ladies! # - # Shake your tambourine... # 554 00:33:56,401 --> 00:33:58,892 Oh, please, take a hike. 555 00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:01,564 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle # 556 00:34:01,639 --> 00:34:03,664 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle # 557 00:34:03,741 --> 00:34:05,800 #They be watchin' while we wiggle around Look at 'em droolin' # 558 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,812 # Niggas ain't used to this sound I keep 'em movin' # 559 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,780 # Put your hands in the air It's all right now # 560 00:34:10,848 --> 00:34:12,372 #We gonna keep you up on your feet the whole night # 561 00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:14,611 # Now pop them bottles Yeah, drink that up # 562 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,249 Yeah! 563 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:51,950 # Get low, get low, then pick up, pick up, get your # 564 00:34:52,023 --> 00:34:53,820 # Hands in the air, it's a stick up, stick up # 565 00:34:53,891 --> 00:34:54,880 # Shake your tambourine... # 566 00:34:58,463 --> 00:35:00,328 # Shake it to the floor, gotta love dat # 567 00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:02,628 # How she keep it going on, gotta love dat # 568 00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:04,895 #To the beat like a pro, know you love dat # 569 00:35:04,969 --> 00:35:07,802 Oh! 570 00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:14,874 Don't come up in my kitchen... 571 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,107 with that weak-ass shit. 572 00:35:17,181 --> 00:35:18,808 #You gotta shake your ass # 573 00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:21,249 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle and # 574 00:35:21,319 --> 00:35:24,083 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle and # 575 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:25,952 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle and # 576 00:35:26,023 --> 00:35:27,388 # Shake your tambourine... # 577 00:35:30,695 --> 00:35:33,755 # Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle and # 578 00:35:33,831 --> 00:35:37,267 Eee! Ooh! 579 00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:42,906 You got served! 580 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,788 You telling me we lost? 581 00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:07,023 Dance them to the cliffs! 582 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:08,793 No mercy! 583 00:36:08,866 --> 00:36:10,390 Come on, man, can we talk about this? 584 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:11,958 Yo, I just met these dudes right here. 585 00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:12,968 I don't even know them. 586 00:36:13,037 --> 00:36:16,336 Onward! Keep dancing, boys! 587 00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:37,022 - Last one in is a rotten egg! - Cannonball! 588 00:36:37,094 --> 00:36:38,254 Marco! 589 00:36:41,566 --> 00:36:44,160 Polo! 590 00:36:45,603 --> 00:36:47,400 Hyah! 591 00:36:49,307 --> 00:36:53,004 We may have won the battle, but they will win the war! 592 00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:54,510 Hyah! What? 593 00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:57,811 Buttmeister presents... 594 00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,907 "Real Men of Genius. " 595 00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:02,509 # Real men of genius! # 596 00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:04,020 Today we salute you... 597 00:37:04,088 --> 00:37:06,556 Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual. 598 00:37:06,624 --> 00:37:10,025 # Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! # 599 00:37:10,094 --> 00:37:12,426 Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape... 600 00:37:12,496 --> 00:37:15,522 you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder. 601 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,592 # Spray-on tan! # 602 00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:20,034 Sure, there's danger- 603 00:37:20,104 --> 00:37:22,072 charging rhinos, stampeding elephants... 604 00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:26,098 and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad. 605 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:27,474 # Ooh! # 606 00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:29,240 You only went out on one date... 607 00:37:29,313 --> 00:37:30,541 but you'll remember it... 608 00:37:30,615 --> 00:37:32,583 Forever, forever... 609 00:37:32,650 --> 00:37:35,551 #Take your daily Valtrex! # 610 00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:38,714 Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice and chop... 611 00:37:38,789 --> 00:37:40,416 every man you see. 612 00:37:40,491 --> 00:37:43,119 But enough about your career as a hair stylist... 613 00:37:43,194 --> 00:37:44,923 let's talk war. 614 00:37:44,996 --> 00:37:47,624 # Ow! That curling iron is hot! # 615 00:37:47,698 --> 00:37:50,166 So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas... 616 00:37:50,234 --> 00:37:52,065 because when the going gets tough... 617 00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:53,797 the tough go antiquing. 618 00:37:53,871 --> 00:37:58,308 # Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual... # 619 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,510 #Yeah. # 620 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,404 Queen Margo... 621 00:38:04,482 --> 00:38:06,507 we must speak. 622 00:38:08,152 --> 00:38:10,382 Loyalist, what do you want? 623 00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:15,524 Nice tomatoes. 624 00:38:15,593 --> 00:38:18,153 Your husband needs you. 625 00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:21,691 You must convince the council... 626 00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:24,166 to send more troops to support your husband. 627 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,725 My husband is dead. 628 00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,566 He told me to move on. 629 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,539 Besides, I'm already registered on J Date. 630 00:38:30,608 --> 00:38:32,235 A little to the right. 631 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:33,709 That's it. 632 00:38:33,778 --> 00:38:36,474 If Leonidas fails, Xerxes will take over... 633 00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:39,175 and you will be stripped of your crown. 634 00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:41,684 I won't be queen? 635 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:43,845 Ow! That's too hard. 636 00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:45,684 You will lose everything. 637 00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:47,747 Ow! Ooh, stop. 638 00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,191 Your palace, your Mercedes... 639 00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:51,387 Hi-yah! 640 00:38:51,462 --> 00:38:53,259 - Ow! ... your Nintendo Wii... 641 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,423 No, no, no, no, no. 642 00:38:54,498 --> 00:38:55,590 Ow! 643 00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:58,032 ...your vaginal regeneration surgeon... 644 00:38:58,102 --> 00:38:59,364 Hi... yah! 645 00:38:59,437 --> 00:39:00,699 ...your gardener. 646 00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:05,604 Antonio? 647 00:39:21,525 --> 00:39:23,322 My husband needs me. 648 00:39:23,394 --> 00:39:24,986 I'll do whatever it takes. 649 00:39:25,062 --> 00:39:26,222 I will set... 650 00:39:26,297 --> 00:39:28,026 the meeting with the council. 651 00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:29,999 But in order to win their vote... 652 00:39:30,067 --> 00:39:32,934 you will need to get Traitoro's support. 653 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,336 He holds great influence... 654 00:39:37,408 --> 00:39:39,171 with the council. 655 00:39:40,511 --> 00:39:43,139 There better be a happy ending. 656 00:39:52,923 --> 00:39:55,118 King Leonidas! 657 00:39:55,192 --> 00:39:56,784 Xerxes approaches. 658 00:39:57,828 --> 00:39:59,159 Xerxes. 659 00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:02,461 He looked a lot like that fat guy from Borat. 660 00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:11,202 I am the great god-king Xerxes. 661 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:13,340 Ooh! 662 00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:17,779 Ow, ow, ow! 663 00:40:17,848 --> 00:40:19,611 Not again! That always happens. 664 00:40:20,885 --> 00:40:22,443 Ow! 665 00:40:25,523 --> 00:40:26,615 Whew! 666 00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,866 Damn! 667 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:46,737 - Oh, s-sorry, Xerxes. - It's cool. 668 00:40:46,811 --> 00:40:48,506 It's cool, cool. I'm fine. 669 00:40:48,579 --> 00:40:50,570 I meant to do that. 670 00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,247 Oh, shit! 671 00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:54,944 I'll tell you, kid, you got balls. 672 00:40:55,019 --> 00:40:56,611 I come over here with a big army. 673 00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,245 We going to shish kebab your ass. 674 00:40:58,322 --> 00:41:00,984 Before this battle is over... 675 00:41:01,058 --> 00:41:02,650 people will know... 676 00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:04,751 that even a god-king can fall. 677 00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:07,354 Listen, Leo, I came here to talk. 678 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:09,763 Just listen to my deal. 679 00:41:12,169 --> 00:41:13,830 Ladies! 680 00:41:13,904 --> 00:41:16,338 Hi, Xerxes. 681 00:41:17,775 --> 00:41:20,073 Ah, that's probably for me. 682 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:22,372 Hello? 683 00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:24,038 Really? 684 00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:26,082 Okay. 685 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:28,345 That was the banker. 686 00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:29,613 He's offering... 687 00:41:29,687 --> 00:41:31,712 to buy back your briefcase... 688 00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:33,882 for a weekend getaway for two... 689 00:41:33,958 --> 00:41:36,051 in Las Vegas, Nevada... 690 00:41:36,126 --> 00:41:37,753 at the Palms Hotel and Casino! 691 00:41:37,828 --> 00:41:39,386 Ooh... 692 00:41:39,463 --> 00:41:40,725 I've always wanted to go there! 693 00:41:40,798 --> 00:41:44,199 All you have to do is bow down to me... 694 00:41:45,236 --> 00:41:47,363 ...and surrender Sparta. 695 00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,033 Deal... 696 00:41:50,107 --> 00:41:51,597 or no deal? 697 00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:54,601 - Deal! - Deal! - Take it! 698 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:55,940 Take the deal! 699 00:41:56,013 --> 00:41:57,605 You think I should? No! 700 00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:58,841 - Take the deal! - It's simple. 701 00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:00,144 - Take the deal! - Come on! 702 00:42:00,217 --> 00:42:01,616 What about Sparta? 703 00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:02,709 - Hit the button! - Come on! 704 00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:04,754 Take the deal! Take it! 705 00:42:04,822 --> 00:42:06,619 - Take it! - Take the deal! 706 00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:07,782 Hit the button! 707 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:10,489 Take it! 708 00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:13,257 No deal! 709 00:42:13,330 --> 00:42:15,764 Oh, great! 710 00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,063 By the time I'm finished with you... 711 00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:20,103 Sparta will be annihilated. 712 00:42:20,170 --> 00:42:22,798 It will be as though you never existed. 713 00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:24,602 I will see to it that you are... 714 00:42:24,675 --> 00:42:26,165 written out of the history books. 715 00:42:27,511 --> 00:42:30,947 Well, that's fine by me, Xerxes... 716 00:42:31,015 --> 00:42:33,483 because I can't read. 717 00:42:35,653 --> 00:42:39,020 Xerxes didn't take rejection well. 718 00:42:39,089 --> 00:42:42,183 From every corner ofhis empire... 719 00:42:42,259 --> 00:42:45,422 he sent his most vicious warriors to fight. 720 00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,896 Yo mama's so ghetto, when she breast-feeds... 721 00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:49,933 Kool-Aid comes out! 722 00:42:57,041 --> 00:42:59,601 Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur... 723 00:42:59,677 --> 00:43:01,645 was a Jewish holiday! 724 00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:10,512 Get her, Dilio! 725 00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:14,024 Yo mama's so fat, her pants size is, um, um, um... 726 00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,854 "Bitch, lose some weight"! 727 00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:18,956 Your mama's so butch... 728 00:43:19,029 --> 00:43:21,054 Rosie O'Donnell wouldn't even date her. 729 00:43:21,131 --> 00:43:23,725 Uh-uh! No, you didn't! No, you didn't! 730 00:43:23,801 --> 00:43:25,132 - Whoa! - No, you didn't! 731 00:43:25,202 --> 00:43:28,228 Well, yo mama titties is smaller than yours. 732 00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:33,472 Bounce some D's on that bitch! 733 00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:36,138 Your mama's so fat, Sir Mix-A-lot decided... 734 00:43:36,213 --> 00:43:37,908 he doesn't like big butts! 735 00:43:37,982 --> 00:43:40,382 And he ain't lyin'! Kiss that! 736 00:43:42,086 --> 00:43:43,644 Oh! Ow! 737 00:43:43,721 --> 00:43:45,188 Oh, my eyes! 738 00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:47,416 Oh! Oh! 739 00:43:47,491 --> 00:43:48,651 Walk it off. 740 00:43:48,726 --> 00:43:50,023 - How you like that, huh? - Sit down. 741 00:43:52,096 --> 00:43:55,327 Yo, yo mama's so fat, that when she farts... 742 00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:57,959 Al Gore accuses her of global warming, dawg. 743 00:43:58,035 --> 00:43:59,195 Whew! 744 00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:01,601 Cranking it up! 745 00:44:01,672 --> 00:44:05,472 Yes, well, that may be the case, but your mama's so hairy... 746 00:44:05,542 --> 00:44:07,373 the only language she speaks... 747 00:44:07,444 --> 00:44:09,071 is Wookiee! 748 00:44:09,146 --> 00:44:11,410 Oh! 749 00:44:12,983 --> 00:44:14,712 That's it! 750 00:44:14,785 --> 00:44:16,116 Well, yo mama- 751 00:44:16,186 --> 00:44:17,676 Yo ma- 752 00:44:20,958 --> 00:44:22,016 Yes! 753 00:44:22,092 --> 00:44:23,753 Bye-bye! 754 00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,419 Back to the hood! 755 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:28,897 Xerxes watched as his warriors were defeated. 756 00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:32,629 It sent an all-too-human chill up his spine. 757 00:44:32,703 --> 00:44:35,638 Or perhaps that was the Dentyne Ice... 758 00:44:35,706 --> 00:44:37,401 with cool mint crystals. 759 00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:48,779 Loyalist said you wanted to see me. 760 00:44:51,055 --> 00:44:52,283 That's my urine sample. 761 00:44:54,658 --> 00:44:55,989 Tastes like asparagus. 762 00:44:56,060 --> 00:44:57,823 Leonidas needs more troops. 763 00:44:57,895 --> 00:45:02,559 Without reinforcements, Sparta will fall and- 764 00:45:11,742 --> 00:45:13,471 I'll do anything... 765 00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:16,104 For my husband. 766 00:45:16,180 --> 00:45:17,841 Anything? 767 00:45:22,252 --> 00:45:23,844 Awesome! 768 00:45:23,921 --> 00:45:25,479 I'm so getting laid! 769 00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:28,024 Good-bye, virginity. 770 00:45:28,092 --> 00:45:30,356 I promise you, you're not going to enjoy this. 771 00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:33,089 But I suffer from premature eja- 772 00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:37,128 Oh- 773 00:45:37,201 --> 00:45:38,361 Mmm. 774 00:45:38,435 --> 00:45:40,869 It's okay; I have crabs. 775 00:45:47,904 --> 00:45:49,963 Ooh- 776 00:46:09,598 --> 00:46:12,863 Betray your beloved Spartans- 777 00:46:16,705 --> 00:46:18,639 Nice. 778 00:46:20,075 --> 00:46:23,511 And I will give you anything you desire. 779 00:46:23,579 --> 00:46:25,103 That's hot. 780 00:46:25,180 --> 00:46:26,977 Bow down to me. 781 00:46:29,184 --> 00:46:31,448 Bow down to the great god-king... 782 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,181 Xerxes. 783 00:46:33,255 --> 00:46:34,847 I'm a Hilton. 784 00:46:34,923 --> 00:46:36,447 I don't bow. 785 00:46:37,860 --> 00:46:39,259 But I do bend over. 786 00:46:39,328 --> 00:46:41,455 Ah, good. 787 00:46:41,530 --> 00:46:44,363 There's a secret goat path into the Hot Gates. 788 00:46:44,433 --> 00:46:47,664 You could totally use it to defeat Leonidas. 789 00:46:47,736 --> 00:46:50,762 Ah- 790 00:46:50,839 --> 00:46:53,103 And what do you desire? 791 00:46:53,175 --> 00:46:55,336 I want my record expunged. 792 00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:58,175 Oh, and I want that new Chanel purse. 793 00:46:59,848 --> 00:47:01,008 Thank you. 794 00:47:01,083 --> 00:47:03,813 I want throwing up to be fun. 795 00:47:03,886 --> 00:47:06,480 You got something to say, say it- I got things to do. 796 00:47:06,555 --> 00:47:08,614 What was it? 797 00:47:08,691 --> 00:47:09,988 I can't remem- 798 00:47:10,059 --> 00:47:11,788 Oh, God, geez, yeah. 799 00:47:11,860 --> 00:47:13,657 I want to get this hump removed. 800 00:47:21,103 --> 00:47:22,365 Mmm! 801 00:47:28,510 --> 00:47:31,604 Will you please just do it? It's really heavy and really hard to keep clean. 802 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,875 Done. 803 00:47:35,017 --> 00:47:37,611 Aah! 804 00:47:49,264 --> 00:47:51,198 As long as Xerxes doesn't find... 805 00:47:51,266 --> 00:47:53,564 the secret path to the Hot Gates... 806 00:47:54,937 --> 00:47:57,735 ...their vast numbers won't count for shit. 807 00:47:59,341 --> 00:48:00,774 My king! 808 00:48:02,911 --> 00:48:04,845 Catch your breath. 809 00:48:04,913 --> 00:48:06,744 Vanilla blended. 810 00:48:06,815 --> 00:48:09,113 What is it, boy? 811 00:48:11,553 --> 00:48:14,021 Xerxes has found the secret goat path... 812 00:48:14,089 --> 00:48:15,181 through the Hot Gates. 813 00:48:15,257 --> 00:48:16,281 Aw, shit! 814 00:48:16,358 --> 00:48:18,656 Damn that Paris Hilton. 815 00:48:18,727 --> 00:48:20,592 I hate her. 816 00:48:20,662 --> 00:48:22,152 He's deployed thousands of Persian soldiers... 817 00:48:22,231 --> 00:48:23,493 that'll be here any minute. 818 00:48:28,937 --> 00:48:32,771 Dilio... 819 00:48:32,841 --> 00:48:34,331 how bad are your injuries? 820 00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:37,641 Oh, it's, uh- it's just a scratch, my king. 821 00:48:42,151 --> 00:48:43,482 You've got no eyes. 822 00:48:43,552 --> 00:48:45,952 The gods blessed me with a spare. 823 00:48:46,021 --> 00:48:47,613 No, they haven't. 824 00:48:47,689 --> 00:48:49,418 You just had the two. 825 00:48:49,491 --> 00:48:51,425 Jeremy has the spare. 826 00:48:56,198 --> 00:48:58,723 I can still fight! 827 00:49:00,536 --> 00:49:01,468 Whoa! No! 828 00:49:01,537 --> 00:49:03,061 Dilio! Dilio! 829 00:49:03,138 --> 00:49:07,165 Di- Dilio! Dilio! Dilio. 830 00:49:07,242 --> 00:49:08,641 Walk with me. 831 00:49:10,312 --> 00:49:12,303 No. No. No. 832 00:49:15,551 --> 00:49:18,384 Your fate is the most important. 833 00:49:18,454 --> 00:49:23,585 You must go back to Sparta... 834 00:49:23,659 --> 00:49:25,092 and tell of our tale. 835 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,321 Yes, my king. 836 00:49:27,396 --> 00:49:29,626 Any message for the queen? 837 00:49:42,444 --> 00:49:44,503 None that need be said. 838 00:49:45,914 --> 00:49:47,677 Now go, Dilio. 839 00:49:47,749 --> 00:49:50,946 Tell how 13 Spartans fought for honor... 840 00:49:51,019 --> 00:49:54,011 for glory... for freedom! 841 00:49:55,457 --> 00:49:58,017 Good luck, Dilio. 842 00:50:15,110 --> 00:50:17,670 Spartans! 843 00:50:24,953 --> 00:50:26,545 This is your final chance. 844 00:50:26,622 --> 00:50:29,716 Bow down to me or you will die. 845 00:50:29,791 --> 00:50:33,124 I bow for no man! 846 00:50:37,633 --> 00:50:39,863 Take a knee. 847 00:50:39,935 --> 00:50:41,061 No! 848 00:50:41,136 --> 00:50:43,730 - Curtsey. - Enough! 849 00:50:46,408 --> 00:50:48,069 Well, your sandal is untied. 850 00:50:48,143 --> 00:50:50,703 Oh... thanks very much. 851 00:50:50,779 --> 00:50:52,371 See? Was that that difficult? 852 00:50:52,447 --> 00:50:54,347 - No, wait, no! - Ah-tah-tah-tah-tah- 853 00:50:54,416 --> 00:50:56,748 - No, I wasn't bowing. - No, no, no. 854 00:50:56,818 --> 00:50:58,012 I was just doing my shoe! 855 00:50:58,086 --> 00:51:00,418 No, you acknowledged me as your god-king. 856 00:51:00,489 --> 00:51:01,353 High-five! 857 00:51:01,423 --> 00:51:04,756 Ooh. 858 00:51:04,826 --> 00:51:06,259 What? 859 00:51:08,764 --> 00:51:10,595 What-What-What the hell is so funny? 860 00:51:10,666 --> 00:51:12,429 - You! - Me? 861 00:51:12,501 --> 00:51:14,196 You greet like women. 862 00:51:14,269 --> 00:51:16,294 You idiots are wearing banana hammocks... 863 00:51:16,371 --> 00:51:17,497 and you're laughing at me? 864 00:51:17,573 --> 00:51:19,063 Now you're pissing me off. 865 00:51:19,141 --> 00:51:20,369 I'm getting everybody. 866 00:51:20,442 --> 00:51:23,138 Hello. Where you at? 867 00:51:23,211 --> 00:51:24,439 I know where I'm at. 868 00:51:24,513 --> 00:51:26,276 Bring in my vast army. 869 00:51:26,348 --> 00:51:27,440 You 13... 870 00:51:27,516 --> 00:51:29,040 putz are no match... 871 00:51:29,117 --> 00:51:30,709 for my massive Persian army. 872 00:51:30,786 --> 00:51:32,515 They number in the millions! 873 00:51:37,726 --> 00:51:39,626 That's just a blue screen. 874 00:51:39,695 --> 00:51:41,094 Stupid. 875 00:51:41,163 --> 00:51:43,097 It's a visual effect. 876 00:51:43,165 --> 00:51:45,030 It's going to be digitally inserted later. 877 00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:48,035 And the army is quite impressive, as you can imagine. 878 00:51:54,743 --> 00:51:56,404 Gentlemen, may I present... 879 00:51:56,478 --> 00:51:58,844 Queen Margo. 880 00:52:24,439 --> 00:52:26,498 Come on, baby. I'm gettin' a chubby. 881 00:52:28,744 --> 00:52:31,542 Boner alert. Boner alert. 882 00:52:31,613 --> 00:52:33,478 Okay, boys, make it rain! 883 00:52:33,548 --> 00:52:35,516 # Do the D-A-N-C-E, 1-2-3-4 fight # 884 00:52:35,584 --> 00:52:40,283 # Stick to the B-E-A-T, get ready to ignite # 885 00:52:40,355 --> 00:52:43,813 #You were such a P-Y-T, catching all the light # 886 00:52:43,892 --> 00:52:47,384 #Just easy as A-B-C, that's how you make it right... # 887 00:52:52,034 --> 00:52:54,730 Good councilmen... 888 00:52:54,803 --> 00:52:56,236 I implore you. 889 00:52:56,304 --> 00:53:01,332 Your king, my dear husband, needs your help. 890 00:53:01,410 --> 00:53:03,139 Sparta will fall... 891 00:53:03,211 --> 00:53:06,510 if you don't agree to send the rest of our army. 892 00:53:19,194 --> 00:53:21,162 Gentlemen, our only hope for survival... 893 00:53:21,229 --> 00:53:23,959 is to surrender to Xerxes and beg for his forgiveness. 894 00:53:24,032 --> 00:53:28,230 Do not be swayed by the words of this common prick-tease... 895 00:53:28,303 --> 00:53:30,396 with crabs all up in her coochie. 896 00:53:30,472 --> 00:53:32,633 Ooh- 897 00:53:32,708 --> 00:53:34,903 Oh, no, you didn't. 898 00:53:34,976 --> 00:53:37,035 Yes. Yes, I did. 899 00:53:42,317 --> 00:53:46,083 Queen Margo unleashed a venomous rage... 900 00:53:47,989 --> 00:53:52,153 ...much like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3. 901 00:54:01,703 --> 00:54:03,068 I'm evil. 902 00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:09,868 Made of sand. 903 00:54:20,088 --> 00:54:21,646 Ohh! 904 00:54:26,495 --> 00:54:27,359 Oh, no. 905 00:54:29,364 --> 00:54:30,695 Ooh! 906 00:54:36,571 --> 00:54:38,266 Oh... cute. 907 00:54:38,340 --> 00:54:40,706 Gross. 908 00:54:51,753 --> 00:54:53,812 What is it? 909 00:54:53,889 --> 00:54:55,015 Oh! Oh! 910 00:54:55,090 --> 00:54:58,025 Oh, God! Oh! Oh, my God. 911 00:55:01,830 --> 00:55:03,491 How you like me now, Sandman? 912 00:55:03,565 --> 00:55:05,157 Oh, no. 913 00:55:07,369 --> 00:55:09,530 Dust-busting bitch! No! 914 00:55:13,642 --> 00:55:16,543 No! 915 00:55:25,921 --> 00:55:27,684 Ah- 916 00:55:32,060 --> 00:55:33,857 Well, tickle my nipples with a feather. 917 00:55:33,929 --> 00:55:36,523 Xerxes is in Traitoro's top five. 918 00:55:36,598 --> 00:55:38,589 Grumble, grumble, grumble- 919 00:55:38,667 --> 00:55:41,101 Traitoro was a... traitor? 920 00:55:41,169 --> 00:55:43,000 Duh! 921 00:55:43,939 --> 00:55:44,997 All in favor... 922 00:55:45,073 --> 00:55:47,541 of sending more troops... say aye. 923 00:55:47,609 --> 00:55:52,342 Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye- 924 00:56:15,437 --> 00:56:16,734 Spartans! 925 00:56:20,008 --> 00:56:21,441 We have you surrounded. 926 00:56:21,509 --> 00:56:23,636 Lay down your weapons! 927 00:56:23,712 --> 00:56:25,543 Come and get them! 928 00:56:25,614 --> 00:56:27,275 Formation! 929 00:56:33,755 --> 00:56:34,915 Um- 930 00:56:34,990 --> 00:56:38,426 A Spartan always protects another man's rear. 931 00:56:43,498 --> 00:56:45,227 Adjust your sword, boy. 932 00:56:45,300 --> 00:56:46,824 It's digging into my back. 933 00:56:49,671 --> 00:56:51,002 But I'm not wearing my sword. 934 00:56:53,808 --> 00:56:55,002 Carry on then. 935 00:56:55,076 --> 00:56:56,907 My son. 936 00:56:56,978 --> 00:57:01,745 Today... you are truly a Spartan. 937 00:57:01,816 --> 00:57:02,805 Thanks, Father. 938 00:57:05,186 --> 00:57:06,153 Attack! 939 00:57:09,524 --> 00:57:11,685 Steady, Spartans! 940 00:57:21,937 --> 00:57:24,098 Remember this day, boys! 941 00:57:24,172 --> 00:57:27,369 For today is the day you die! 942 00:57:27,442 --> 00:57:30,002 - Huh? - What? Huh? 943 00:57:30,078 --> 00:57:30,830 What? 944 00:57:30,845 --> 00:57:32,836 L- I mean they die. 945 00:57:32,914 --> 00:57:35,712 Today's the day they die- that's what I meant to say. 946 00:57:38,687 --> 00:57:39,779 Go! 947 00:57:54,069 --> 00:57:56,469 Oh, what a bunch of dumb shits. 948 00:57:59,474 --> 00:58:00,998 God, that smarts. 949 00:58:01,076 --> 00:58:03,909 I am gonna go Hercules on your ass! 950 00:59:32,700 --> 00:59:33,997 Ghost Rider! 951 00:59:37,372 --> 00:59:39,932 You're going to hell. 952 00:59:50,251 --> 00:59:53,853 Stop, drop and roll! 953 01:00:07,135 --> 01:00:09,467 Yo! 954 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,479 No! 955 01:00:21,449 --> 01:00:23,542 Yo, Sonio. 956 01:00:25,286 --> 01:00:27,049 I'm gonna knock your block off. 957 01:00:27,122 --> 01:00:28,953 Oh, shit. 958 01:00:30,125 --> 01:00:31,990 Sonio! 959 01:00:43,905 --> 01:00:47,534 You'll pay for this, Balboa. 960 01:00:47,609 --> 01:00:48,576 Go for it. 961 01:00:54,082 --> 01:00:55,982 Adult diapers? 962 01:01:22,744 --> 01:01:28,774 Botox... overdose. 963 01:01:35,857 --> 01:01:38,189 Yes! 964 01:01:39,327 --> 01:01:41,227 Yeah! 965 01:01:44,299 --> 01:01:45,425 Yeah! 966 01:01:49,938 --> 01:01:51,701 Yes! 967 01:01:55,843 --> 01:01:58,107 Xerxes! 968 01:02:07,956 --> 01:02:11,756 It's a- a beautiful death. 969 01:02:14,329 --> 01:02:16,229 It's actually not that attractive. 970 01:02:41,189 --> 01:02:43,350 # I'm a Barbie girl # 971 01:02:43,424 --> 01:02:45,756 # In the Barbie world # 972 01:02:45,827 --> 01:02:48,125 # Life in plastic, it's fantastic # 973 01:02:48,196 --> 01:02:50,664 # Come on, Barbie, let's go party! # 974 01:02:50,732 --> 01:02:52,359 #Ah-ah-ah-yeah # 975 01:02:52,433 --> 01:02:53,991 # Come on, Barbie, let's go party # 976 01:03:18,626 --> 01:03:19,957 Shit! 977 01:03:27,435 --> 01:03:30,700 Enough of this gratuitous video game violence! 978 01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:53,586 Waah! 979 01:03:57,799 --> 01:03:59,096 Ah- 980 01:03:59,167 --> 01:04:01,158 Aha! 981 01:04:01,235 --> 01:04:02,862 A Transformer cube! 982 01:04:11,946 --> 01:04:14,847 Okay, baby, let's transform. 983 01:04:48,783 --> 01:04:51,718 I... am Xerxestron... 984 01:04:51,786 --> 01:04:55,813 equipped with advanced alien technology. 985 01:04:59,394 --> 01:05:02,557 Leave Britney alone! 986 01:05:02,630 --> 01:05:04,393 He is a god-king. 987 01:05:04,465 --> 01:05:06,558 Please- 988 01:05:13,141 --> 01:05:16,133 Leave her alone! 989 01:05:16,210 --> 01:05:18,269 She's a human! 990 01:05:18,346 --> 01:05:20,746 Oh, oh, ain't that a bitch. 991 01:05:28,623 --> 01:05:31,387 Leonidas was true to his word. 992 01:05:31,459 --> 01:05:33,757 A god-king did fall. 993 01:05:33,828 --> 01:05:36,888 But unfortunately, right on them. 994 01:05:57,218 --> 01:05:59,015 I- I- I just- 995 01:06:01,522 --> 01:06:03,649 Oh- 996 01:06:05,026 --> 01:06:06,687 Ooh. 997 01:06:06,761 --> 01:06:08,285 Queen Margo. 998 01:06:08,362 --> 01:06:09,829 - Yeah. - Oh. 999 01:06:33,654 --> 01:06:36,054 Leonidas and the Spartans... 1000 01:06:36,123 --> 01:06:38,091 died for honor... 1001 01:06:38,159 --> 01:06:41,458 for glory. 1002 01:06:41,529 --> 01:06:44,896 They died a beautiful death. 1003 01:06:49,837 --> 01:06:55,070 Today... we stand against 30,000 Persians. 1004 01:06:56,477 --> 01:07:00,413 But we now have 100,000 soldiers! 1005 01:07:00,481 --> 01:07:02,506 Ah-ooh! Ah-ooh! Ah-ooh! 1006 01:07:03,518 --> 01:07:04,610 To victory! 1007 01:07:13,961 --> 01:07:15,292 Ah. 1008 01:07:15,363 --> 01:07:17,797 Follow me, boys. 1009 01:07:17,865 --> 01:07:20,425 I don't know. 1010 01:07:20,501 --> 01:07:24,403 And thus, Dilio blindly led the Spartans... 1011 01:07:24,472 --> 01:07:26,463 Away from the Persians... 1012 01:07:26,541 --> 01:07:29,237 To Malibu... 1013 01:07:29,310 --> 01:07:33,371 just as Lindsay Lohan was leaving rehab... again. 1014 01:07:47,128 --> 01:07:49,221 #At first I was afraid # 1015 01:07:49,297 --> 01:07:51,390 # I was petrified # 1016 01:07:51,465 --> 01:07:55,401 # Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side # 1017 01:07:55,469 --> 01:07:57,596 # But then I spent so many nights # 1018 01:07:57,672 --> 01:07:59,663 #Thinking how you did me wrong # 1019 01:07:59,740 --> 01:08:01,332 #And I grew strong # 1020 01:08:01,409 --> 01:08:03,673 #And I learned how to get along # 1021 01:08:03,744 --> 01:08:05,405 #And so you're back # 1022 01:08:05,479 --> 01:08:07,208 # From outer space # 1023 01:08:07,281 --> 01:08:09,613 # I just walked in to find you here # 1024 01:08:09,684 --> 01:08:11,743 #With that sad look upon your face # 1025 01:08:11,819 --> 01:08:13,753 # I should have changed my stupid lock # 1026 01:08:13,821 --> 01:08:16,016 # I should have made you leave your key # 1027 01:08:16,090 --> 01:08:18,149 # If I had known for just one second # 1028 01:08:18,225 --> 01:08:19,988 #You'd be back to bother me # 1029 01:08:20,061 --> 01:08:21,824 # Go on, now go # 1030 01:08:21,896 --> 01:08:23,659 #Walk out the door # 1031 01:08:23,731 --> 01:08:25,995 #Just turn around now # 1032 01:08:26,067 --> 01:08:28,592 # 'Cause you're not welcome anymore # 1033 01:08:28,669 --> 01:08:29,829 #Weren't you the one # 1034 01:08:29,904 --> 01:08:32,338 #Who tried to hurt me with good-bye? # 1035 01:08:32,406 --> 01:08:34,306 # Did you think I'd crumble? # 1036 01:08:34,375 --> 01:08:36,309 # Did you think I'd lay down and die? # 1037 01:08:36,377 --> 01:08:38,311 # Oh, no, not I # 1038 01:08:38,379 --> 01:08:40,176 # I will survive # 1039 01:08:40,247 --> 01:08:43,148 # Oh, as long as I know how to love # 1040 01:08:43,217 --> 01:08:45,048 # I know I'll stay alive # 1041 01:08:45,119 --> 01:08:46,950 # I've got all my life to live # 1042 01:08:47,021 --> 01:08:48,818 # I've got all my love to give # 1043 01:08:48,889 --> 01:08:50,618 #And I'll survive # 1044 01:08:50,691 --> 01:08:52,352 # I will survive # 1045 01:08:52,426 --> 01:08:55,190 # Hey, hey # 1046 01:09:07,775 --> 01:09:09,072 Whassup, dawg?! 1047 01:09:09,143 --> 01:09:11,703 # Ha-ha! It took all the strength I had # 1048 01:09:11,779 --> 01:09:13,474 # Not to fall apart, dawg! # 1049 01:09:13,547 --> 01:09:17,506 # Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart # 1050 01:09:17,585 --> 01:09:19,746 #And I spent, oh, so many nights # 1051 01:09:19,820 --> 01:09:22,015 #Just feeling sorry for myself # 1052 01:09:22,089 --> 01:09:23,522 # I used to cry # 1053 01:09:23,591 --> 01:09:26,253 # But now I hold my head up high # 1054 01:09:26,327 --> 01:09:27,817 #And you see me # 1055 01:09:27,895 --> 01:09:29,362 # Somebody new # 1056 01:09:29,430 --> 01:09:32,558 # I'm not that chained-up little person # 1057 01:09:32,633 --> 01:09:34,328 # Still in love with you # 1058 01:09:34,402 --> 01:09:36,666 That's "Britney," bitch. 1059 01:09:38,939 --> 01:09:42,067 #And so you felt like dropping in # 1060 01:09:42,143 --> 01:09:44,043 #And just expect me to be free # 1061 01:09:44,111 --> 01:09:46,136 # Now I'm saving all my lovin' # 1062 01:09:46,213 --> 01:09:48,044 # For someone who's lovin' me # 1063 01:09:48,115 --> 01:09:51,380 # Go, come on, now, uh! # 1064 01:09:53,354 --> 01:09:55,288 # Britney's in the house, where my babies at? # 1065 01:09:55,356 --> 01:09:56,948 #Ah, like this # 1066 01:09:57,024 --> 01:09:58,355 # Go, now, go # 1067 01:09:58,426 --> 01:10:00,326 #Walk out the door # 1068 01:10:00,394 --> 01:10:02,453 #Just turn around now # 1069 01:10:02,530 --> 01:10:04,930 # 'Cause you're not welcome anymore # 1070 01:10:04,999 --> 01:10:06,967 #Weren't you the one # 1071 01:10:07,034 --> 01:10:08,831 #Who tried to hurt me with good-bye? # 1072 01:10:08,903 --> 01:10:10,564 # Did you think I'd crumble? # 1073 01:10:10,638 --> 01:10:12,731 # Did you think I'd lay down and die? # 1074 01:10:12,807 --> 01:10:13,865 # Oh, no, not I # 1075 01:10:13,941 --> 01:10:16,774 # I will survive # 1076 01:10:16,844 --> 01:10:19,938 # Oh, as long as I know how to love # 1077 01:10:20,014 --> 01:10:21,379 # I know I'll stay alive # 1078 01:10:21,449 --> 01:10:23,280 # I've got all my life to live # 1079 01:10:23,350 --> 01:10:25,648 # I've got all my love to give # 1080 01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:27,813 - #And I'll survive # - That's right, dawg! 1081 01:10:27,888 --> 01:10:29,412 # I will survive # 1082 01:10:29,490 --> 01:10:31,583 # Hey, hey! # 1083 01:10:34,028 --> 01:10:35,086 # Hey, yo # 1084 01:10:35,162 --> 01:10:36,595 #When I wake up moaning, yawning # 1085 01:10:36,664 --> 01:10:37,926 # I put up my hands # 1086 01:10:37,998 --> 01:10:39,556 #Thank the Lord for what I got # 1087 01:10:39,633 --> 01:10:40,827 #And never stop my plans # 1088 01:10:40,901 --> 01:10:42,095 # Giving all for the goals # 1089 01:10:42,169 --> 01:10:44,194 # Got to keep it up, never let my head drop # 1090 01:10:44,271 --> 01:10:45,761 # Make me a home on my own # 1091 01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,171 # Better make the bed rock # 1092 01:10:47,241 --> 01:10:49,801 #A place for the dog, a garage, a yard to play around # 1093 01:10:49,877 --> 01:10:51,105 # Kitchen for missus # 1094 01:10:51,178 --> 01:10:53,043 # She be fixing them biscuits golden brown # 1095 01:10:53,114 --> 01:10:55,708 # Got me a shorty and some kids, just like a family should # 1096 01:10:55,783 --> 01:10:57,808 # Made it through changes, that's how I live # 1097 01:10:57,885 --> 01:10:59,216 #And now it's all good # 1098 01:10:59,286 --> 01:11:00,617 # You gonna breathe now # 1099 01:11:00,688 --> 01:11:02,485 # It's all how you bounce back # 1100 01:11:02,556 --> 01:11:03,682 # How you bounce back # 1101 01:11:03,758 --> 01:11:05,316 # It's all how you bounce back # 1102 01:11:05,392 --> 01:11:06,586 # You gonna breathe now # 1103 01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:08,491 # It's all how you bounce back # 1104 01:11:08,562 --> 01:11:12,020 - # How you bounce back, how you bounce back # - # Hey, hey # 1105 01:11:23,277 --> 01:11:24,505 # You gonna breathe now # 1106 01:11:24,578 --> 01:11:26,512 # It's all how you bounce back # 1107 01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:27,706 # How you bounce back # 1108 01:11:27,782 --> 01:11:29,272 # It's all how you bounce back # 1109 01:11:29,350 --> 01:11:30,442 # You gonna breathe now # 1110 01:11:30,518 --> 01:11:32,349 # It's all how you bounce back # 1111 01:11:32,419 --> 01:11:35,252 - # How you bounce back, how you bounce back # - # Hey, hey # 1112 01:11:35,322 --> 01:11:37,654 # Super-classic-play-a-listic homie, I'm the dopest # 1113 01:11:37,725 --> 01:11:39,625 # If you close your eyes and miss it # 1114 01:11:39,693 --> 01:11:41,183 #Ask me why I wrote this # 1115 01:11:41,262 --> 01:11:43,958 # I have come so very far to make this here my home # 1116 01:11:44,031 --> 01:11:47,000 # So if you thinking otherwise, I guess you thinkin' wrong # 1117 01:11:47,067 --> 01:11:49,695 #All it takes is all I got, a little bit of try # 1118 01:11:49,770 --> 01:11:52,466 #And if you make my babies cry, I'll bust you in your eye # 1119 01:11:52,540 --> 01:11:54,269 # Gonna put in work, gonna make it happen # 1120 01:11:54,341 --> 01:11:56,104 #Ain't no way you could tie me up # 1121 01:11:56,177 --> 01:11:57,644 # 'Cause I hocus-pocus, keep your focus # 1122 01:11:57,711 --> 01:11:59,440 #Then you know this, that's what's up # 1123 01:11:59,513 --> 01:12:00,844 # You gonna breathe now # 1124 01:12:00,915 --> 01:12:02,507 # It's all how you bounce back # 1125 01:12:02,583 --> 01:12:03,811 # How you bounce back # 1126 01:12:03,884 --> 01:12:05,442 # It's all how you bounce back # 1127 01:12:05,519 --> 01:12:06,679 # You gonna breathe now # 1128 01:12:06,754 --> 01:12:08,449 # It's all how you bounce back # 1129 01:12:08,522 --> 01:12:09,819 # How you bounce back # 1130 01:12:09,890 --> 01:12:11,915 # It's all how you bounce back. # 1131 01:12:33,781 --> 01:12:36,716 As the Spartans kicked major ass... 1132 01:12:36,784 --> 01:12:38,752 even Leonidas believed... 1133 01:12:38,819 --> 01:12:41,185 victory was theirs. 1134 01:12:41,255 --> 01:12:43,223 Victory is ours, boys! 1135 01:12:43,290 --> 01:12:44,450 Ah-ooh! 1136 01:12:45,860 --> 01:12:48,260 Let's celebrate! 1137 01:12:48,329 --> 01:12:51,196 For tonight, we dine... 1138 01:12:51,265 --> 01:12:53,062 at Hooter's! 1139 01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:54,191 Hoo! 1140 01:12:59,006 --> 01:13:00,633 Eat from them... 1141 01:13:00,708 --> 01:13:02,300 everything! 1142 01:13:02,376 --> 01:13:03,809 And tip them... 1143 01:13:03,878 --> 01:13:05,277 nothing! 1144 01:13:05,346 --> 01:13:07,246 Yeah! Yeah! 1145 01:13:07,314 --> 01:13:09,282 It's Two-fer Tuesday. 1146 01:13:09,350 --> 01:13:11,409 Yeah! 1147 01:13:11,485 --> 01:13:12,975 Come on! - No! Whoa! 1148 01:13:15,222 --> 01:13:17,417 Oh, isn't that sweet. 1149 01:13:20,194 --> 01:13:22,219 Oh! Oh- 1150 01:13:22,296 --> 01:13:24,230 Oh- Oh- 1151 01:13:24,298 --> 01:13:25,993 That's my boy. 1152 01:13:27,301 --> 01:13:29,064 Where do you think you're going? 1153 01:13:29,136 --> 01:13:31,297 - Aah! - You little pussy. 1154 01:13:33,274 --> 01:13:35,242 No! No! 1155 01:13:39,813 --> 01:13:40,677 That's it. 1156 01:13:40,748 --> 01:13:42,147 Yay. 1157 01:13:52,660 --> 01:13:56,357 If you can dodge a golf ball, you can dodge a sword. 1158 01:13:57,264 --> 01:13:59,255 Ha! You missed. 1159 01:14:00,401 --> 01:14:02,028 Ow! 1160 01:14:02,102 --> 01:14:04,536 He can outflank us now, my king. 1161 01:14:08,309 --> 01:14:09,640 Men! 1162 01:14:14,048 --> 01:14:16,539 We are facing certain death. 1163 01:14:16,617 --> 01:14:18,676 Cherries. 1164 01:14:18,752 --> 01:14:20,617 But... 1165 01:14:20,688 --> 01:14:23,452 the joke's on them, because they don't know... 1166 01:14:23,524 --> 01:14:26,823 that dying in battle is the greatest honor... 1167 01:14:26,894 --> 01:14:28,953 for any Spartan! 1168 01:14:31,532 --> 01:14:34,023 Ah-hoo. 1169 01:14:34,101 --> 01:14:37,502 God, that's a shitty plan. 1170 01:14:37,571 --> 01:14:39,869 Look, Leonidas... 1171 01:14:39,940 --> 01:14:41,805 war is not the answer. Heh-heh. 1172 01:14:42,476 --> 01:14:44,376 Trust me, I know. 1173 01:14:44,445 --> 01:14:47,005 No! War is the answer! 1174 01:14:58,325 --> 01:15:00,054 Where am I? 1175 01:15:03,497 --> 01:15:06,523 Spidey, you're fired. 1176 01:15:17,611 --> 01:15:19,738 ELLEN DeGENERES: Hi. How are you, Leonidas? 1177 01:15:19,813 --> 01:15:21,075 Ellen. 1178 01:15:21,148 --> 01:15:22,638 Listen, I don't know why you're so upset. 1179 01:15:22,716 --> 01:15:24,445 You look great. You know, the cape is great. 1180 01:15:24,518 --> 01:15:25,610 Love the... diaper. 1181 01:15:25,686 --> 01:15:26,812 I- I'd wear something very similar... 1182 01:15:26,887 --> 01:15:28,047 for Portia on Friday nights. 1183 01:15:28,122 --> 01:15:29,282 We get frisky. 1184 01:15:29,356 --> 01:15:31,347 Hello, Leonidas. 1185 01:15:31,425 --> 01:15:34,053 Wow, is it hot in here? 1186 01:15:34,128 --> 01:15:37,256 Okay, Portia, Portia, women, women, women. 1187 01:15:37,331 --> 01:15:39,060 Women, you like women. 1188 01:15:39,133 --> 01:15:40,259 I can see by your- 1189 01:15:40,334 --> 01:15:41,892 your reaction, you're not amused. 1190 01:15:41,969 --> 01:15:44,961 It's the same reaction anyone who went to see Mr. Wrong had. 1191 01:15:45,039 --> 01:15:47,405 Uh, let's play a game- maybe we could play a game. 1192 01:15:47,474 --> 01:15:48,634 How about "Who Sneezed?" 1193 01:15:48,709 --> 01:15:49,733 It's a real easy game. 1194 01:15:49,810 --> 01:15:51,243 We close our eyes and someone sneezes... 1195 01:15:51,311 --> 01:15:52,744 and you guess who. 1196 01:15:52,813 --> 01:15:54,940 If it was you, you win- 'cause obviously, you know. 1197 01:15:55,015 --> 01:15:56,039 Listen, chill out. 1198 01:15:56,116 --> 01:15:57,777 Let's just dance, shall we? Come on. 1199 01:15:57,851 --> 01:16:00,342 That's right. Oh, boy. 1200 01:16:00,421 --> 01:16:01,718 Okay. 1201 01:16:01,789 --> 01:16:03,120 There you go, you're getting the hang of it. 1202 01:16:03,190 --> 01:16:05,750 - You know, back and forth- - No, I can't do this! 1203 01:16:07,227 --> 01:16:08,717 Yo mama's so ugly, if she was... 1204 01:16:08,796 --> 01:16:10,593 on the Spice Girls, her name would be... 1205 01:16:10,664 --> 01:16:12,996 Dookie Spice! 1206 01:16:13,067 --> 01:16:14,728 Doo-doo! 1207 01:16:14,802 --> 01:16:16,599 Leonidas. 1208 01:16:18,505 --> 01:16:20,598 You should try Scientology. 1209 01:16:20,674 --> 01:16:22,505 I'm gonna set Katie free. 1210 01:16:24,178 --> 01:16:25,167 Yes! 1211 01:16:25,245 --> 01:16:26,974 I had to buy a million and one glitters... 1212 01:16:27,047 --> 01:16:28,776 with my own money, and I had to buy- 1213 01:16:28,849 --> 01:16:31,317 I put them on by hand, Simon... 1214 01:16:31,385 --> 01:16:35,253 and my reputation is all I have, and for you to sit here... 1215 01:16:35,322 --> 01:16:37,950 telling me that I'm not intennigent- 1216 01:16:38,025 --> 01:16:39,788 inte- that I'm not intenni- 1217 01:16:39,860 --> 01:16:41,418 - Let me start over. - Intelligent. Yeah. 1218 01:16:41,495 --> 01:16:42,655 - Hang on. - Intelligent. Yeah. 1219 01:16:42,729 --> 01:16:44,594 I looked everywhere. 1220 01:16:44,665 --> 01:16:46,724 Don't you hate when you're on an airplane, you know... 1221 01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:48,893 and the captain's, like, "If you look out the window... 1222 01:16:48,969 --> 01:16:50,766 to your left, you're gonna see another plane"? 1223 01:16:50,838 --> 01:16:52,703 Am I right? See what I'm talking about? 1224 01:16:52,773 --> 01:16:54,104 Another plane? Right? 1225 01:16:54,174 --> 01:16:55,664 Don't you hate when you're in the supermarket... 1226 01:16:55,742 --> 01:16:57,107 you know, and you're in aisle three. 1227 01:16:57,177 --> 01:16:58,474 And, like, "Clean up on aisle three. " 1228 01:16:58,545 --> 01:17:00,035 You know? And you're, like, "What am I doing here?" 1229 01:17:00,114 --> 01:17:01,513 I'm in aisle three, huh? Right? 1230 01:17:01,582 --> 01:17:04,016 You're all my fans, right? You all love me, right? 1231 01:17:04,084 --> 01:17:05,551 Who saw Employee of the Month? 1232 01:17:05,619 --> 01:17:07,018 Okay, that's cool. 1233 01:17:07,087 --> 01:17:08,315 Right? Yeah, what's up, Leonidas? 1234 01:17:08,388 --> 01:17:10,185 Super fingers to you. 1235 01:17:10,257 --> 01:17:11,224 No. 1236 01:17:12,726 --> 01:17:13,818 Super fingers... 1237 01:17:13,894 --> 01:17:15,691 to you, Dane Cook! 1238 01:17:17,231 --> 01:17:19,722 This is a metaphor for my career. 1239 01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:21,062 You're off my MySpace page. 1240 01:17:21,135 --> 01:17:23,103 I'm really 42. 1241 01:17:25,772 --> 01:17:27,069 Sorry, I didn't hear what you said... 1242 01:17:27,141 --> 01:17:28,438 Because I can't understand you... 1243 01:17:28,509 --> 01:17:30,204 'cause you talk like this. 1244 01:17:30,277 --> 01:17:32,575 Your mama's such an old sloppy drunk... 1245 01:17:32,646 --> 01:17:35,046 I thought she was David Hasselhoff. 1246 01:17:35,115 --> 01:17:37,140 Yeah! 1247 01:17:38,952 --> 01:17:40,385 From Knight Rider. 1248 01:17:40,454 --> 01:17:41,580 Dinaladas, do- 1249 01:17:41,655 --> 01:17:43,145 Dot- Dingalidas, Dingalidas... 1250 01:17:43,223 --> 01:17:45,157 Dingledangle, do... 1251 01:17:45,225 --> 01:17:48,217 leg squats, and then you will be a star... 1252 01:17:48,295 --> 01:17:49,887 you will be a star. 1253 01:17:52,499 --> 01:17:56,663 The last episode of Sopranos was most disappointing. 1254 01:17:56,737 --> 01:17:59,763 I mean, did Tony get whacked or live or what? 1255 01:18:03,577 --> 01:18:05,670 What happens in Vegas... 1256 01:18:05,746 --> 01:18:08,271 stays in Vegas. 1257 01:18:08,348 --> 01:18:12,682 You just-You keep doing the thing you do... 1258 01:18:12,753 --> 01:18:16,086 'cause... the do is thing you do. 1259 01:18:17,457 --> 01:18:19,925 # Hey, DJ, turn me out # 1260 01:18:19,993 --> 01:18:22,393 #You gotta keep me movin' till the moon goes down # 1261 01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:25,158 # If you want to show me, get below me # 1262 01:18:25,232 --> 01:18:27,632 # Shake your thing till you don't feel lonely # 1263 01:18:27,701 --> 01:18:29,601 # Hey, mister, break it down # 1264 01:18:29,670 --> 01:18:32,070 #You're a B-Boy that nearly hit the ground # 1265 01:18:32,139 --> 01:18:34,869 #You could play it real cool, act the old school # 1266 01:18:34,942 --> 01:18:37,604 #Jump around until your act is so cool # 1267 01:18:47,154 --> 01:18:49,054 # Clap your hands if you're feelin' me # 1268 01:18:49,122 --> 01:18:51,920 # One to the two, two to the three # 1269 01:18:51,992 --> 01:18:54,187 # Clap your hands if you're in the mix # 1270 01:18:54,261 --> 01:18:57,059 # Four to the five, five to the six # 1271 01:19:11,345 --> 01:19:13,176 # Hey, DJ, turn me out # 1272 01:19:13,247 --> 01:19:15,715 #You gotta keep me movin' till the moon goes down # 1273 01:19:15,782 --> 01:19:18,410 # If you want to show me, get below me # 1274 01:19:18,485 --> 01:19:20,919 # Shake your thing till you don't feel lonely # 1275 01:19:20,988 --> 01:19:22,922 # Hey, mister, break it down # 1276 01:19:22,990 --> 01:19:25,424 #You're a B-Boy that nearly hit the ground # 1277 01:19:25,492 --> 01:19:28,188 #You could play it real cool, act the old school # 1278 01:19:28,262 --> 01:19:30,992 #Jump around until your act is so cool. # 1279 01:26:11,631 --> 01:26:13,861 When you're pushed, killing's as easy as... 1280 01:26:13,933 --> 01:26:20,000 Dancin'. Ri 84368

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