Original subtitles

In the beginning, there was Nan.

And Nan made everything.

She made the whole sky and the whole entire Earth,

all the way to the very end of the four blocks.

But then, Nan looked at what she had made,

and she saw it was empty and small

and there was nothing, like, cuddly or amazing,

so then... Nan found me.

She made me her emotional mentor

and shared all her deepest, most vulnerable secrets,

even the drawer of secret toys in the bedroom

I'm supposed to, like, never, ever play with.

And then there was Jason.

And then there wasn't Jason.

And then there was Jason, and then there wasn't Jason,

and then there was Jason.

Now it's, like, really confusing if there's Jason or not.

But then, evil entered the world,

and it came in the darkest form of all... a cat.

If Nan really loves you,

why does she keep the door closed?

And why does she leave every day?

What if you could decide?

What if you could open the door?

And so, Nan keeps all the doors locked and closed.

Like, she has all these boundaries to keep me safe,

but sometimes I think Nan kind of forgets

that those same boundaries work on me.

I just end up kind of, like, locked inside all day.

I mean, I get that she's Nan and I'm not,

but sometimes I guess I wish

I had the power to go where I wanted

and, like, open doors for myself.

I mean, even for just, like, one single day.

The man is powerless to do anything

but desperately justify the animal's actions.

The erotical, the asphyxiation, the degradation, the...

Hello. Oh, my goodness.

Did you think I was never coming back?

You were so scared. You're a good boy.

Come on. Hey.

Hey.

I didn't think you'd still be here.

Down. Oh, yeah.

Me and, uh, me and Martin went for a super-long walk

and then he passed out, and then I had three gummies,

and I thought, probably shouldn't drive home, you know.

Yeah, that's... that's true.

You probably shouldn't drive home.

Hey, I got some, uh, I got some more gummies if you want one.

Uh, nope, pass.

I got too much work to do on the campaign.

Eh.

You know, people in, uh, Sweden...

they work like 20 hours a week,

and they're actually more productive.

Yeah, well, people in Sweden

don't have to run a 9:00 a.m. meeting tomorrow.

Don't. Those give him gas.

I thought you liked being able to blame your farts on him.

I have never... done that.

Just saying you should give yourself a little break, okay?

You and your sad, little plate of meatballs.

Come on. Five minutes.

Five minutes.

The thing is, I've been a pretty trusting

buddy, buddy, buddy, like, I believe in her.

Shut up!

Stop trying to cheat.

A symbol of erotical fornication.

But, lately, like, lately, I've been having a lot of doubts.

Nixon, right?

I mean, Nan makes the same mistakes,

like, again and again and again.

You know what?

I have to be at work in like six hours.

It's literally gonna take five minutes.

- Come here. - Okay.

Like, tonight, once again, she locked me in the sex room.

And I just felt like, I mean,

what part of her thinks I like this?

I mean, I have a really, really sensitive sense of smell.

And I get that Nan's obsessed

with, like, closing doors and making boundaries,

but, I mean, something here,

like, something here has to change.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh-oh. Someone's late.

Yeah.

Kind of accidentally slept in...

with Jason...

again.

Well, look who it is.

First week with your own team,

and you're already pooping on the bed.

Yeah, sorry, guys.

- It's just traffic out there, so... - Okay.

Anyway, as I was saying

when I tried to start the meeting on time...

... we all know that Nan sold some idea to corporate

about a dog looking at her

and how she's, like, a normal, plain person or something.

But with each new campaign, I like to start with a question.

Today, that question is...

What...

did...

we...

sell?

What did we sell?

- Chime in here any time, guys. - I think he...

No. He doesn't know. Let him suffer.

When we sell something, we need to know what it is.

When I come back here, I want to see written on this board,

in terms understandable to a 5-year-old,

exactly what we sold, okay?

Frickin' amateur hour.

Okay, so, we all know what we sold.

Let's get to work.

And these guys are, you know...

Hi... a little bit wrinkled.

Hey. And, um, kind of incomplete.

That is some pizza. Just put that over there.

Well, that was humiliating.

It was fine. You recovered.

Yeah, this time.

It's impossible to be a grown-up with a job

standing anywhere near Jason and his vortex of chill.

Uh, yeah, 'cause you need to draw some clear boundaries.

He's like crack to you.

And call me crazy, but I don't think crack addicts

should be casually hanging out with crack

- or let crack walk their dog. - I know.

It's just when we broke up, he totally disappeared,

and I don't want Martin to have to go through that again.

Martin loves Jason.

Oh, yeah, Martin loves Jason.

Yeah, okay. It's just...

You're right. No, you're right. We're done here.

Good.

It's time to draw some clear boundaries.

But today, like, I'm still kind of processing this,

but today, I changed my entire life.

I was just staring at the kitchen door

like I do all the time, wishing I wasn't, you know,

locked inside all day, and... and, yeah,

like, maybe I was concentrating extra hard

because of last night and everything,

but I don't think I realized the energy I was sending that door,

because I just, like, walked away, like,

thinking nothing of it, and, you know, dozed off for a while.

And when I came back and saw what I had done,

it just... it just blew my mind.

Yeah, Martin, come on.

Use your door, buddy.

Come on.

Come...

Well, when he does it, it's gonna be great.

He's gonna love it.

So, how is this drawing clear boundaries?

- It's an automatic dog door. - Uh-huh.

So, I'm going to take Jason's key away, right,

so he can't get in,

but Martin can still get out and be walked.

It's genius.

Yeah.

Oh, ooh, it's like a-a terrible electronic chastity belt.

Yeah.

That's exactly what it is.

- Good job. - Yeah.

I mean... I think I just opened a portal

with my mind.

I mean, it's... it's genius.

Like, there's this magnet in Martin's collar, right?

So, when he comes up to the door, it opens,

and then when he walks away, it locks.

So, you can just, like, call him

and you don't even have to go inside.

What if he doesn't come out?

What are you talking about? Of course he'll come out.

He'll love it. He can't wait to come out.

Oh, so he hasn't even used it.

No, it's gonna be fine, though.

Listen, Jas, I feel like, um...

All right.

I think that we both know, right,

that we're on really different paths,

like career-wise and... and... and, like,

- life-wise and whatnot. - Yeah.

And we know that it's not, like, smart, right,

for us to be together full-time.

- Right? - Absolutely.

Right.

But at the same time,

I feel like neither one of us is so immature

we feel like we have to, like,

cut the other one out of our life entirely, right?

Okay, uh, but...

Because this way, like, you get to still see Martin,

and, like, you and I can be cool,

and then we can be, like...

more deliberate... about when we...

want to... cross some boundaries.

I mean, it's not, like, it's not that I'm scared.

It's just a lot of change, like, it's a lot to find out

you have literal supernatural powers.

Like... I'm a dog.

That's just a lot of responsibility,

and I needed to process that and think things through.

And it just so happened that the best place to process things

was the place as far away from that door

as physically possible.

Okay, look, this is not how I wanted this to go, okay?

And the point is just to, like, clarify things, that's it.

I just... I'm... I'm setting up these careful boundaries

to try to protect us.

Right. So, what you're saying is, is that we're not together.

- No. - Right.

Not technically, right?

I mean, why...

When did you get so obsessed with labels?

I don't like labels. I'm a dude, okay?

Great. Then it sounds like we're clear.

Clear that we're leaving things intentionally unclear.

Perfect.

Uh, I will need your key... though.

But then... then I found something.

When I was younger, I had this... this monkey friend,

and it was almost like anytime I really wanted him to,

he would tell me that... that he loved me.

I love you.

Like, it was almost, like, I was making him say that,

as if I was controlling him.

I love you.

All of a sudden, all of these memories, like,

came flooding back to me, and I realized, like, oh, my God.

This power isn't something new.

Like, it's not that I'm just controlling doors

an-and opening portals.

Like, I think all kinds of things have been obeying me,

like, my entire life.

Like, I've always had this power.

I've just been too afraid to use it.

Martin?

All right.

Come on, buddy.

Come out.

But today, Jason came over.

And it was like he was begging me.

You got to, like, come out on your own.

You're gonna ha...

And as I sat there, I thought,

"This is why Nan loves controlling Jason so much."

It's just really fun to watch him grovel at my feet.

I'm not crawling through a...

All right.

Here I come, you actual son of a bitch.

And it just clicked.

Like, unlimited power,

like, it's not... it's not scary at all.

It's literally the only thing I've ever wanted.

Thanks, man.

And I just decided, "Today, he's not walking me.

Today, I'm walking him."

We're going to the same place as always, man.

Just chill. Chill, please. Chill.

Ah! All right.

Hey.

Hi.

Guess whose plan worked perfectly.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Wow. What did Jason say?

Oh, he totally got it.

We're, like, completely on the same page.

We're just gonna live life without labels.

It couldn't have gone better, honestly.

How's the display looking? Whoo! Words!

Oh, no, no, no. Wait. Let me show you the whole thing.

Come here. Okay.

I know this is just a first step,

but I feel like I should've, you know, prepared a speech

- or gotten champagne or something. - I know.

But life is always less glamorous than you planned, okay?

All right. Close your eyes.

Okay, it's still rough, but imagine these mirrors

all over the country so you can look at

beautiful you are.

Ta-da!

Oh, my God, Jenn.

That looks real. Like, this looks like...

This is like... Mm-hmm.

It's, like, a real thing that people will see, like,

in an actual, like, real strip mall, you know.

- I'm so proud of you. - You did so good.

This is... So, this is it?

The big idea?

Yeah, pretty much.

Oh, my God. I got to get you a drink.

I'm gonna do more.

You did so good!

I don't understand.

Are we a mirror store now?

Ah... get out of here.

All this time, I've been under this stupid assumption

that I'm, like, subject to all these rules and societal norms.

All right, man.

Time for a profile picture with a cute dog.

Internet Dating 101. Okay?

I thought there was a path laid out for me.

- 'Sup? - Hey.

I was supposed to walk when Nan and Jason said,

like some passive supplicant thankful for any walk at all,

but... but I see it now.

There isn't a path.

There aren't any boundaries.

Like, I can go wherever I want.

I'm the one in charge.

Like, I'm not listening to anyone ever again.

♪ ♪

Nan and I have a history

that's pretty rife with miscommunication.

So, today, before she came home, I knew I needed to find a way

to communicate as clearly as possible

that I was in charge now, to say this is my house.

Like, I have the door power now. Get used to it.

Hey, buddy.

Hey!

If you want to come in, you have to ask.

How you doing?

You like your new doggy door, huh?

You want to maybe move a little bit?

Please?

Okay, I'll just, uh, kind of squeeze on through, then.

And I could tell she was embarrassed,

but there's a new paradigm here and she's gonna have to adjust.

Jason!

Nice try, but I'm not gonna sleep with you,

so you can put your penis away!

It felt good, like, knowing my house was in order.

I guess I was feeling a little bit cocky,

because I decided to go extend the boundaries of my domain.

Whoa!

Are you using my dog to get dates now?

Oh, okay.

Uh, give me my phone back,

and, uh, I-I thought he was our dog.

No, he's not, okay? He's my dog.

And he's not sex bait for your pervy Internet cravings.

Wait. Are you, are you...

seriously mad at me for dating?

No, I'm not mad. Look.

I can be really helpful, actually.

- Wait, no! - She seems smart.

Nan! Nan, can you give me my phone back?

She's a CEO at self-employed. See you later.

Can you please give me phone back?

- She's awfully pretty, too. - Okay, stop. Stop it! Nan!

Oh, she's 22 and a little bit Gothic.

Stop it! Nan! That's exactly...

Mm.

And, in a way, sure, like,

it's a lot of responsibility to be in charge,

to be the dictator, you know, like,

to decide what doors open when,

like, who comes and who goes, like, who lives and who dies,

you know, like, heavy lays the crown.

What is that?

- Whoa! Oh, my God! - Hey!

Cat! Cat! There's a cat!

- Jason! - What?!

- Cat! - What?

Oh, hell, no. No. Come on.

Okay.

That's enough of that, little lady.

Yeah. You're okay.

I got you. It's okay.

It's okay. Shh.

The moment I saw Nan take Pepper into her hands,

it's like... it's like all the scales just fell from my eyes,

and, like, I saw how stupid I'd been.

This is Nan.

Like, this is Nan who, like,

battles with demons with her bare hands.

Like, how did I think I could be anything like her?

I-I saw what I was, you know, like, I saw it clearly.

I was... I was a fool.

Come on, buddy. I know.

We just got to get it all cleaned, okay?

You're gonna look so big and tough with all your scars.

Yes, you are.

Hey.

What are we doing here, Nan?

You know, one second it's great.

It's like the old times.

And then all of a sudden, you're flipping,

pushing me away,

you're installing dog doors to keep me out of your house...

I-I didn't install the dog door to keep you out.

... going through my phone, freaking out that I'm dating.

I didn't install the door to keep you out.

I installed it 'cause I'm afraid of losing you.

I have a really big opportunity...

at work,

and I don't want to blow it because we're smoking weed

and playing video games like we used to.

Hmm.

Okay.

Well, I mean, I was sort of playing along,

uh, with the whole label thing.

Um...

I think I need labels.

Yeah. I think we do, too.

I made some mistakes today.

And because of my arrogance, I got a little bit of power,

and within like six hours, I have invited

the most evil being that exists, like, into our house.

Look...

I get it.

The last thing that I want to do

is sidetrack you from... from your dream.

So...

... friends, then?

Yep.

Let's try friends.

You know, I'll, um,

I'll still come by and walk Martin and everything.

Thanks.

Need my babe magnet more than ever.

Thank you.

Just, you know, I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna be a stranger.

♪ I'm under the gun again ♪

♪ I know I was the 45% of then ♪

♪ I know I was a lot of things ♪

♪ But I am good, I am grounded ♪

But sometimes I-I have these glimpses where, like,

things are clear to me.

♪ I can't get my head around it ♪

♪ I keep feelin' smaller and smaller ♪

I'm not Nan. I never will be.

Nan is the strongest,

most beautiful thing that has ever existed.

♪ I need my girl ♪

I just hope I'm doing the right thing here.

But in these moments,

I'm the most important thing in the world to her.

Which, like, in some ways, if you really think about it,

kind of makes me the most important being there ever was.

Hey, ladies, uh, took a look at the production schedule,

and I didn't see models casting.

Right. We... That's be... Um...

Okay, look, I can't emphasize enough

how much I prioritize models casting.

It's like 70% of what I like about this job.

Right.

Well, we're using real people.

It's the whole point of the campaign.

Th... There are no models.

Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com -

What did we sell?!