All language subtitles for The.Guardian.S01E09.The.Funnies.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

PREVIOUSLY ON
"THE GUARDIAN"...

NICHOLAS, I NEED YOUR HEAD
IN OUR BUSINESS.

THIS WORK YOU'RE DOING
OUTSIDE THE FIRM

IS GETTING IN THE WAY
OF YOUR OBLIGATIONS.

I'M SORRY. I JUST
CAN'T DO IT TODAY.

NICHOLAS, JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE MY SON

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE
GONNA GET SPECIAL TREATMENT AROUND HERE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

JAKE, AMANDA,
THIS IS BARBARA LUDZINSKI.

WHERE DID YOU TWO MEET?

I'M THE SECRETARY

OVER AT CHILDREN'S
LEGAL SERVICES.

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

I KNOW HE GOT ARRESTED
FOR DRUGS.

I KNOW HE PLEA-BARGAINED
DOWN TO A MISDEMEANOR

IN EXCHANGE FOR
COMMUNITY SERVICE AND PROBATION.

MR. CONNELLY,
YOU MAY REMEMBER ME.

NO.

NICHOLAS FALLIN.
YOU PROSECUTED ME LAST YEAR.

OH. NICK "I SHOULD BE
IN JAIL RIGHT NOW" FALLIN.

MAY I HELP YOU?

UH...YEAH.

MA'AM, I'M JAKE STRAKA.

I'M AN ATTORNEY FOR
ALLEGHENY GAME & TOY.

WE GOT YOUR LETTER
ASKING US TO PAINT IT OVER.

GOOD. BECAUSE MY CLIENT
IS PRETTY FANATICAL

ABOUT BUNNY-BUDDY.

FORGET ABOUT IT.

EXCUSE ME?

NO. WE'RE NOT
GONNA DO IT.

THIS IS A LETTER OF DEMAND.
IF YOU IGNORE IT,

WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO COURT.

IT'S A NICE MURAL.

EXCUSE ME.

ALVIN, THERE'S A FAMILY
IN MY OFFICE.

THEY WERE REMOVED FROM
THEIR APARTMENT THIS MORNING.

YOU'RE REPRESENTING THEM
IN AN EVICTION HEARING.

WHAT ARE THESE?5 NEW TENANT CASES.

WE'RE DROWNING IN THEM.

ERIK NILSSON.

YES.

ARE YOU MY LAWYER?

NICK FALLIN.
WHY ARE YOU BEING EVICTED?

THE LANDLORD CLAIMS
I'M RUNNING A BUSINESS OUT OF THE APARTMENT.

ARE YOU?
NO.

IT'S A HOBBY--
A PHOTOCOPIED NEWSLETTER.

YOU WANT TO KNOW
THE REAL REASON I'M BEING EVICTED?

SURE.

HERSCHEL MATLIN
THINKS HE CAN GET

AN EXTRA 50 A MONTH
ON MY UNIT.

YOU KNOW
HOW THOSE PEOPLE ARE.

THOSE PEOPLE?

LANDLORDS.

MORNING.

BARBARA,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MY SON RUSSELL
WAS ARRESTED LAST NIGHT.

WHAT HAPPENED?

HE WAS OUT
WITH A FRIEND, DRIVING MY CAR.

THEY WERE PULLED OVER.

HIS FRIEND
RAN AWAY FROM THE COPS,

AND THEY SEARCHED HIS CAR,
AND THEY FOUND DRUGS.

OK, LISTEN TO ME, BARBARA.
YOU GET YOURSELF THE BEST LAWYER YOU CAN AFFORD

AND DO EVERYTHING HE SAYS.

I CAN'T AFFORD
A LAWYER, NICK.

WHAT YOU DO NOW IS
GONNA MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

FOR THE REST
OF YOUR SON'S LIFE.

DON'T YOU THINK
I KNOW THAT?

NICK.

NO. I'VE NEVER DONE
A DRUG CASE.

BUT YOU'VE BEEN THERE.I'VE BEEN THERE.

YES, I'VE BEEN THERE.
I'VE BEEN THERE AS A DEFENDANT.

SO WHAT, NICK?
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT

THE TOP EXPERT
IN THE WESTERN WORLD,

YOU'RE JUST
GONNA BLOW ME OFF?

I'M NOT--I DIDN'T
SAY THAT, BARBARA.

SO HELP ME, THEN.

THE BEST THING I CAN DO

IS TO GIVE YOU
A LIST OF NAMES OF THE TOP DRUG LAWYERS.

NICK, I'M NOT RICH,
AND THE ONLY CONNECTION I HAVE IS YOU.

OK. I'LL DO WHAT I CAN,

BUT THE NEXT 30 HOURS
FOR ME ARE BRUTAL.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE
OF A HUGE CLOSING AT MY FATHER'S FIRM,

AND ON TOP OF THAT,
YOU JUST GAVE ME 5 OF THESE EVICTION CASES.

GIVE 'EM TO ME.

I'LL CREDIT
THE HOURS TOWARD YOUR COMMUNITY SERVICE.

AT LEAST YOU CAN HELP
THE PUBLIC DEFENDER.

I'LL DO WHAT I CAN.

I AM SENTENCING YOU

TO 1,500 HOURS OF
COMMUNITY SERVICE,

USING YOUR SKILLS
AS A CORPORATE ATTORNEY

TO WORK AS A CHILD ADVOCATE.

JAMES,
HOW'S YOUR DAY LOOK?

I'VE GOT 8 TENANTS
SCHEDULED FOR EVICTION HEARINGS IN ONE DAY.

THAT'S GOT TO BE
SOME KIND OF RECORD.

FALLIN'S TIED UP.
THAT LEFT ME WITH 5 MORE TENANT CASES TO ASSIGN.

DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY.

13. COME ON.

NOW, THAT'S A RECORD.

WELL, YEAH.

OK.

MR. PIERCE, WE DIDN'T
EXPECT TO SEE YOU TODAY.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS
CLOSING'S BEEN DELAYED AGAIN.

OH, THAT'S A PRETTY
COMPLICATED DEAL.

YEAH? WHAT'S SO COMPLICATED?
WE'RE TALKING TOYS HERE.

IT'S A $2 BILLION
CORPORATION, AND THEY'RE JAPANESE.

WHAT ARE THEY
BUYING, REALLY? TRADEMARKS.

$700 MILLION
WORTH OF TRADEMARKS.

YOU KNEW THAT GOING IN.

MR. PIERCE,
NO DISRESPECT,

BUT YOUR COMPANY'S
RECORD-KEEPING STINKS.

EVERY SINGLE TRADEMARK
HAS BEEN AN ORDEAL.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

WELL, FREAK-PILE
AND PINK PONY CANYON

NEVER GOT THEIR
TRADEMARK IN EUROPE.

CHESS-KERS,
BUG-EATIN' MANIAC, AND SON-OF-A-BUG

HAVE NO CLEAR
CHAIN-OF-TITLE. AND THEN THERE'S DART-HEAD.

WAIT, WAIT.
FORGET ABOUT DART-HEAD.

ALL THE JAPANESE CARE
ABOUT IS BUNNY-BUDDY.

BUNNY-BUDDY HAS THE
BIGGEST PROBLEMS OF ALL.

WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS?

YOUR COMPANY BOUGHT
BUNNY-BUDDY FROM A LOCAL TOYMAKER BACK IN 1971.

FULTON TROUT.
WE PAID 40,000 A YEAR,

WHICH THEN WAS A HECK OF
A LOT OF MONEY FOR A TOY,

AND IT WAS THE BEST MONEY
WE EVER SPENT.

MR. TROUT'S CONTRACT
GIVES HIM APPROVAL

OVER SUBSEQUENT
THIRD-PARTY SALES.

HE'S WITHHOLDING
HIS APPROVAL.

THIS ONE GUY HAS
THE POWER TO SPIKE

THE WHOLE
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR MERGER.

BUT THE JAPANESE SAY IF WE
DON'T CLOSE WITHIN 48 HOURS, THEY'RE GONNA WALK.

WE HAVE THAT COVERED.

WE HAVE A MEETING
SCHEDULED WITH TROUT THIS AFTERNOON AT 2:00.

OUR SCHOOL HAS SPENT THE BETTER PART

OF 2 MONTHS
PAINTING THAT MURAL,

AND THEN THESE LAWYERS
HAND US A LETTER

DEMANDING THAT
WE PAINT IT OVER.

DID YOU TRY
ASKING FOR PERMISSION?

I HAD MY KIDS WRITE
TO THE CREATOR.

NO. NOT THECREATOR.

FULTON TROUT, THE GUY
WHO INVENTED BUNNY-BUDDY.

HE SAID HE CAN'T HELP US.

DO WE REALLY
HAVE TO PAINT IT OVER?

THESE CORPORATIONS HAVE
UNLIMITED RESOURCES.

ALVIN, THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU.

I'VE SEEN YOU GO TO THE MAT
IN CHILDREN'S COURT.

THOSE WERE CUSTODY
HEARINGS, SISTER.

THIS IS A PAINTING
OF A RABBIT.

A DOZEN SECOND-GRADERS
WORKED ALL SUMMER AND FALL ON THIS.

OK. OK, I'LL TALK
TO THE LAWYERS. WHO ARE THEY?

YOU KNOW THEM?

OH, YEAH.

I KNOW THEM.

NICK. NICK.

BARBARA, TALK TO ME
WHILE I WALK.

THIS DEFENDER RUSS DREW--
I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

WHO IS IT?
MATT PUSHKIN.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
HE'S NOT GOOD?

PUSHOVER PUSHKIN.
WELL, HE'S A NICE GUY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY
THAT CAN PITCH IN

TO GET YOU A LAWYER?

I'M RAISING RUSSELL
BY MYSELF.

THAT'S THE FAMILY.

WHAT ABOUT HIS FATHER?

HE'S BROKE.

MT. AIRE PLASTICS
LAID HIM OFF IN JUNE.

WHO'S PROSECUTING?

HERB CONNELLY.

NICK. NICK,
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

HERB CONNELLY. CONNELLY
HAS POLITICAL AMBITIONS.

HE APPROACHES
EACH DRUG PROSECUTION

FROM THE POINT OF VIEW
OF HOW IT LOOKS ON HIS CAMPAIGN FLIER.

HE HAD MY CASE.

YEAH, BUT YOU GOT OFF WITH
COMMUNITY SERVICE, RIGHT?

POLITICAL AMBITIONS
CUT BOTH WAYS.

BARBARA,
I'M BURTON FALLIN'S SON.

NICK, HE'S DOWNSTAIRS,
IN LOCKUP.

TALK TO RUSSELL,
TELL HIM WHAT TO DO.

IT'LL TAKE YOU
10 MINUTES.

OK.
OK.

THEY WEREN'T MY DRUGS.

THEY WERE IN YOUR CAR.

SOMEBODY--I DON'T
KNOW WHO--PUT THEM THERE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

THIS LAWYER SAYS
IF I NAME NAMES,

I MIGHT GET
A SHORTER SENTENCE.

MAYBE AVOID
JAIL TIME ALTOGETHER.

PUSHKIN'S RIGHT.
YOU TURN OVER ANYONE YOU CAN.

SEE, RUSSELL?
IT'S NOT WORTH GOING TO JAIL OVER.

PLEASE.

I HAVE TO GO.

ARE THEY GONNA
LET ME OUT, MOM?

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,

I LOVE YOU, RUSS.

ARE THEY, MOM?

I DON'T KNOW.

MOM, I LOVE YOU.

RUSSELL'S PROTECTING
ONE OF HIS FRIENDS.

HE HAS NO FRIENDS NOW.

RUSSELL WAS DRIVING.
THE DRUGS WERE FOUND IN HIS CAR.

UNLESS HE HAS
A CONVINCING STORY

AS TO HOW THEY GOT THERE,
HE'S GUILTY.

BARBARA, MY GOD.
I WAS IN ALTOONA

INTERVIEWING FOR
A REFINERY JOB WHEN I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

WEB HALL,
THIS IS NICHOLAS FALLIN.

HI.
HI.

I REALLY DO HAVE
TO GO SOMEPLACE, SO--

WEB IS RUSSELL'S FATHER.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER. OK?

OK.

NICE MEETING YOU.YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. NOW, HOW'S RUSSELL?

HE'S OK, BUT HE WON'T
TELL THE POLICE ANYTHING.

IF HE DID?

THEY'D LIGHTEN UP
ON HIM, I'M SURE,

BUT FOR NOW,
HE WON'T TELL THEM

WHO WAS IN THE CAR WITH HIM

OR WHERE HE GOT THE DRUGS.

BARRY COOK.

WHAT?

BARRY COOK WAS
AT THE HOUSE BEFORE I WENT FOR THE INTERVIEW.

THAT FOOTBALL KID?

YEAH.

WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?

GO SEE YOUR SON.

I'M GOING TO TALK
WITH BARRY'S MOTHER.

WEB?

UH, YEAH?

DID YOU GET THE JOB?

NO. 240 APPLICANTS
FOR 9 POSITIONS.

I'M SORRY.

AMANDA, I NEED YOU
TO DO 3 THINGS--

CALL ALLEGHENY TOY & GAME.
TELL THEM THAT I--AMANDA?

AMANDA. AMANDA,
CAN YOU HEAR ME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WON'T GET MY CAR BACK
FROM IMPOUND UNTIL THURSDAY.

I'M ONLY GOING HALF A MILE.

THEY USED TO BE BEST FRIENDS.

THEN BARRY
KIND OF BLEW RUSS OFF

AFTER HE BECAME
THIS BIG FOOTBALL STAR.

I COULD CREAM HIM.

I'LL TRY TO BE QUICK.
CAN YOU WAIT?

NO. I'M GONNA COME
WITH YOU. I GOTTA MAKE A PHONE CALL.

OK.

HELLO?

MY GOD! NICK!

HE'S NOT BREATHING.
CALL 911!

P.A.: DR. LEVY, O.R. 2,
DR. LEVY...

OFFICER BACHARACH,
THIS IS NICK FALLIN,

PROBATION NUMBER
4-0-3-8-5.

I'M LEAVING THIS MESSAGE
BECAUSE...

TODAY I WAS
WITH AN ASSOCIATE

AND WE FOUND A BOY WHO
HAD OVERDOSED ON DRUGS.

I, UM, I JUST WANTED YOU
TO HEAR IT FROM ME FIRST.

THEY WANT ME
TO STICK AROUND AND ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.

OH, GOD.

DO YOU KNOW THAT IF
YOU HAD BEEN ACROSS TOWN

SWEET-TALKING
THAT BUNNY-BUDDY MAN LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO

THAT NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED?

YES, I KNOW THAT.

NICHOLAS, I GOTTA HAVE
SOMEBODY I CAN DEPEND ON.

IF FULTON TROUT BALKS,
WE ARE DEAD IN THE WATER.

NOW I GOTTA MAKE JAKE
KEY MAN ON BUNNY-BUDDY.

OH, UH, WHEN
YOU'RE DONE HERE,

DROP BY THE OFFICE
AND HELP AMANDA WITH THOSE CLOSING DOCUMENTS.

OK?YEAH.

P.A.: NURSE MORGAN,
CALL THE PAGE OPERATOR.

NURSE MORGAN, CALL
THE PAGE OPERATOR, PLEASE.

BARRY COOK WAS ADMITTED
AT 10:51 A.M.

SUFFERING RESPIRATORY
DIFFICULTIES

DUE TO THE INGESTION
OF AN UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE.

UNKNOWN?

IT LOOKS LIKE
BADLY MADE METHAMPHETAMINE.

HOW IS HE NOW?

COMATOSE AND BREATHING
WITH ASSISTANCE.

WHAT'S THIS GOING
TO MEAN FOR RUSSELL?

WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT CAN'T BE GOOD.

BARBARA, I THINK IT'S
TIME YOU GOT YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER.

I TOLD YOU,
THERE'S NO MONEY.

WELL, WEB SEEMED
TO BE DOING OK.

HE'S BEEN OUT OF WORK
SINCE JUNE.

HE'D PAY IF HE COULD,

AND WHEN HE'S WORKING,
HE SENDS ME A CHECK EVERY MONTH.

ALIMONY.

NO, NO.
WE'VE NEVER MARRIED.

IT'S FOR RUSS.

DO YOU THINK
HE COULD BORROW MONEY?

HE'S TAPPED, NICK,

AND THERE'S NO
TRUST FUND, EITHER.

P.A.: DR. PEARSON, 3578.

NILSSON V. MATLIN.

THIS COMPLAINT ALLEGES

THAT MR. NILSSON
IS RUNNING A BUSINESS

OUT OF HIS APARTMENT.

WHO REPRESENTS THE TENANT?

I DO, YOUR HONOR.

YOU? YOU REPRESENT
NILSSON? WHY?

NICHOLAS FALLIN
IS MY LAWYER.

MR. FALLIN IS UNAVAILABLE.
HE ASKED ME TO STAND IN.

NO. NO. I WANT FALLIN.

AND I WANT TO BE
17 YEARS OLD AGAIN.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S MR. MOONEY
OR YOU GET NO LAWYER AT ALL.

OK, I GUESS,
YOUR HONOR.

LET US CONTINUE.
IS HE RUNNING A BUSINESS OUT OF HIS APARTMENT?

MR. NILSSON PUBLISHES
A PHOTOCOPIED MAGAZINE.

IS THAT RIGHT?

DOES HE HAVE
ANY EMPLOYEES? NO.

DOES HE
MAKE A PROFIT?

NO. IT'S DONE
FOR PLEASURE--

A HOBBY,
LIKE SHARING RECIPES.

AND HE'S BEEN CURRENT
ON HIS RENT SINCE 1994.

YOUR HONOR,
HE'S NOT TELLING YOU THE WHOLE STORY.

DO YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY,
MR. MATLIN?

NO, YOUR HONOR.
I'M REPRESENTING MYSELF.

THEN I'LL TELL YOU,
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO REBUT.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY EMPLOYEES
IN HIS APARTMENT?

NO. NO EMPLOYEES.

THEN WHY DO YOU SAY
IT'S A BUSINESS?

WELL, HE'S GOT
THE MAGAZINE.

IT'S NOT FOR PROFIT.

HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

THIS! THIS IS HIS MAGAZINE.

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE
PUBLISHING, MR. NILSSON?

YEAH. UH, THAT WOULD BE IT.

THE CONTENT
IS IMMATERIAL.

THE LANDLORD ALLEGED
HE RAN A BUSINESS.

WE'VE DISPROVED
THAT ALLEGATION.

SO KICK HIM OUT ANYWAY.
HE'S NOT PRINTING RECIPES IN THAT.

BUT IT'S NOT A BUSINESS.
ORDER TO VACATE IS DENIED.

NEXT CASE.

OH, JEEZ, I'M SORRY.

DID I STARTLE YOU, FALLIN,
OR WAS THAT JUST ONE OF THOSE DRUG FLASHBACKS?

YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN
RACKING MY BRAIN

TRYING TO IMAGINE
HOW ON EARTH IT WAS YOU THAT FOUND BARRY COOK.

I WAS GIVING
A FRIEND A RIDE.

BARBARA LUDZINSKI,
WHOSE SON WAS ARRESTED FOR DRUGS YESTERDAY.

WE WORK TOGETHER
AT LEGAL SERVICES OF PITTSBURGH.

NO, SHE--SHE WORKS THERE.

YOU GO THERE
TO DODGE PRISON TIME.

WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK
TO MY PROBATION OFFICER?

CALM DOWN.WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

EXCUSE ME?

I'M HERE WITH
A CLEAR CONSCIENCE, HELPING OUT A FRIEND,

AND YOU'RE
MAKING INSINUATIONS AGAINST MY CHARACTER.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO
TAKE A SHOT AT ME, MR. CONNELLY,

THEN STEP UP
AND TAKE YOUR SHOT.

YOU SEEM AWFULLY
CRANKED UP TODAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
ON ME BECAUSE I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.

RIGHT OVER HERE, SIR.MR. CONNELLY?

HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

GET A PICTURE?

GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.THANK YOU, SIR.
THANKS A LOT.

I DON'T THINK I'M
YOUR BEST ASSET AT THIS POINT, BARBARA.

WHY? WHO WAS THAT?

THAT WAS YOUR SON'S
PROSECUTOR. THAT WAS HERB CONNELLY.

YOUR DEFENDANT
NILSSON CALLED.

THEY'RE TRYING TO EVICT
HIM AGAIN, THIS TIME ON AN EMERGENCY BASIS,

CITING HEALTH
AND SAFETY VIOLATIONS.

I'M ON IT.

UH, JAMES...

YOU THINK THIS IS
THE FIRST CHUCKLEHEAD I'VE REPRESENTED?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK,
I GET A CLIENT WHO WALKS IN AND SAYS,

"YOU KNOW,
I WAS WONDERING IF IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE

TO MAYBE SPEAK TO ONE
OF THE OTHER LAWYERS?"

THIS IS NOTHING NEW.

IT'S YOUR DECISION--
KEEP HIM OR HAND HIM OFF.

I STARTED THE CASE,
I'LL FINISH THE CASE.

YOU'D THINK
BECAUSE I CREATED BUNNY-BUDDY,

CHILDREN WOULD LIKE ME,

BUT THEY DON'T,
EVEN IN MY HOMETOWN.

LAST SUMMER,
SOME SECOND-GRADERS LEARNED

THAT BUNNY-BUDDY WAS BORN
RIGHT HERE IN PITTSBURGH.

WELL, THIS EXCITED THEM
SO MUCH THAT THEY GAVE UP THEIR SATURDAYS

TO PAINT A BUNNY-BUDDY
MURAL RIGHT NEXT TO THEIR PLAYGROUND.

YOU SEE,
THESE AREN'T RICH KIDS

WHO SPEND THEIR VACATIONS
AT SEVEN SPRINGS.

THESE ARE INNER-CITY KIDS.

YEAH?

AND YOU--YOUR COMPANY
THREATENED THEM WITH A LAWSUIT

UNLESS THEY
DESTROYED THEIR MURAL.

GENTLEMEN, THIS IS NOT
THE SPIRIT OF BUNNY-BUDDY.

WE JUST WANT
EVERY BUNNY-BUDDY

TO HAVE
THE ALLEGHENY STAMP OF QUALITY.

NO!

NO. YOU ARE GREEDY
CONTROL FREAKS,

AND EVERY TIME
YOU DO SOMETHING UGLY, CHILDREN BLAME ME.

THEY WRITE ME LETTERS.

HERE.

AH. THEY'RE
LIKE THIS ONE HERE.

"DEAR MR. TROUT,

"IT'S JUST A BUNNY PICTURE.
WHY DO YOU HATE US?

LOVE, ARIKA H." THERE.

THERE. THERE. THERE.

THIS IS WHAT CHILDREN
THINK OF ME.

SIR, I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU DON'T LIKE

ALLEGHENY
GAME & TOY COMPANY.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I DON'T LIKE 'EM MUCH, EITHER.

BUT THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
TO WASH YOUR HANDS OF THEM FOREVER.

JUST GIVE THEM PERMISSION
TO SELL BUNNY-BUDDY.

WHO...
WHO WANTS TO BUY HIM?

GOLDEN FUNCORP,
A JAPANESE TOY COMPANY.

WHICH TOYS?

KITTEN KATY,

NOBLE ROBOT,

CHA CHA CHOO CHOO,
AMONG MANY OTHERS.

KITTEN KATY
IS AN INSIPID AFFRONT

TO ANYONE WHO LOVES TOYS.

AND NOBLE ROBOT?

THAT ISN'T EVEN A TOY.
IT'S A WEAPON WITH A FACE.

NO.

THEY WILL KICK IN
A HANDSOME BONUS.

NO! NO, NO, NO.

MR. MASTERSON,
JAKE STRAKA.

HOW YOU DOIN'?THANKS FOR COMING.

SISTER ANNE.
COME ON THIS WAY.

FIGHT THE POWER, ALVIN.

CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING?

NO, THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU.

AS YOU KNOW, ST. ANGELICA'S

IS ONE OF PITTSBURGH'S
OLDEST PAROCHIAL INSTITUTIONS.

IT'S A BUILDING BLOCK
OF THE COMMUNITY.

SURE, BUT MY CLIENT
TAKES MISAPPROPRIATION

OF THE BUNNY-BUDDY
TRADEMARK VERY SERIOUSLY.

WE'RE NOT COMMERCIALLY
EXPLOITING HIM. REALLY,

THIS IS A TESTAMENT
TO THE CHILDREN'S LOVE FOR BUNNY-BUDDY.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY
IS THE SAME AS ANY OTHER KIND OF PROPERTY.

THEY SEE IT LIKE, UM...

YOU BUILD A HOUSE
ON THEIR LAND,

AND THEY'LL SUE YOU
UNLESS YOU TEAR IT DOWN.

I DARE YOU.WHAT?

IF YOU PEOPLE SUE MY SCHOOL,

I WILL DRAG YOUR NAME THROUGH
A PUBLIC RELATIONS NIGHTMARE

LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN.

I HAVE FRIENDS ON CHANNEL 9.

LET ME, UH, LET ME
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

THIS IS ALLEGHENY'S
PLAY BOOK.

IT'S CALLED
"BUNNY-BUDDY AND THE LAW."

THEY ACTUALLY GIVE THIS
TO ALL THEIR LAWYERS?

THEY SPEND MILLIONS
A YEAR PROTECTING BUNNY-BUDDY'S HONOR.

FIGHTING
LITTLE PAROCHIAL SCHOOLS?

APPENDIX B IS A LIST
OF ALL THE SCHOOLS

AND HOSPITALS THAT
HAVE LOST TO THEM IN COURT.

ALL RIGHT.

UH, WE'LL LET YOU KNOW
HOW WE PLAN TO FIGHT THIS.

WE AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE.

FALLIN. SO THIS WAS
THE BIG CLOSING, HUH? TOYS.

YES.

CAN YOU HELP SISTER ANNE?

SHE WANTS TO KEEP
HER BUNNY-BUDDY MURAL.

NO. BUNNY-BUDDY'S
BIGGER THAN THE BOTH OF US.

MRS. COOK...I'M SORRY.

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT BARRY.

HOW DID YOU
RAISE YOUR SON?

WHY DID YOU LET HIM...

WHY DID YOU LET HIM
TAKE MY BOY?

HE TOOK MY BOY AWAY.

I'M SORRY.

FULTON TROUT IS BLOWING
A BILLION-DOLLAR DEAL

JUST SO HE CAN GIVE
ALLEGHENY A BLACK EYE.

OFFER HIM MORE MONEY.

TRIED THAT. THE MAN
INVENTS A CROSS-EYED RABBIT,

NOW HE WANTS THE WORLD
TO THINK HE'S SOME KIND OF MOTHER TERESA.

WHERE ARE WE AT
WITH THE FIGURES?

WITHOUT BUNNY-BUDDY,
WE ARE IN HELL, NICHOLAS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT,
COUNSELOR?

I HEARD YOUR LANDLORD
TRIED TO EVICT YOU.

YEAH, HE TRIED,
BUT I'M NOT MOVING.

HERSCHEL'S
SCARED OF ME.

HE ASKED THE COURTS
TO EVICT YOU IMMEDIATELY

FOR HEALTH
AND SAFETY VIOLATIONS.

WHY, 'CAUSE
I'M COOKING BACON?

THE WHY IS NOT OUR CONCERN.

WE JUST WANT
TO DISPROVE THE CHARGE.

COME ON IN, I GUESS.

HOW DO YOU LIKE
MY PLACE, COUNSELOR?

MAY I SEE YOUR REFRIGERATOR?

WHAT?

YOUR LANDLORD ALLEGED
UNSANITARY FOOD STORAGE.

I NEED TO PHOTOGRAPH IT.

BE MY GUEST.

RIGHT OVER HERE.

HE ALSO CLAIMS
YOU'RE STORING FLAMMABLE LIQUID ON PREMISES.

I KNOW. THAT'S BOGUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

FLUID FOR MY LIGHTER.

WHERE DO YOU STORE IT?

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
NOT A HEALTH AND SAFETY VIOLATION,

SO NO JUDGE
WILL ACCEPT THIS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT MY POSTERS?

DON'T YOU WANT
PHOTOS OF THESE?

NO. DON'T NEED 'EM.

BARBARA? THANK YOU.

BARRY COOK DIED.

OH, I'M SORRY.

THE PROSECUTOR IS SAYING
ALL KINDS OF THINGS,

BUT IT WASN'T MY BOY.

I NEED YOU TO TALK
TO THE PUBLIC DEFENDER.

I DON'T TRUST
THIS PUSHKIN GUY.

HOW DOES THIS CHANGE
YOUR LEGAL STRATEGY, MR. PUSHKIN?

IF THEY PROSECUTE
RUSSELL FOR HOMICIDE,

IT'S GONNA BE
AS AN ADULT.

THEY CAN'T LINK HIM
TO THE DEATH.

HERB JUST CALLED.

THEY HAVE
SOME NEW EVIDENCE.

I'M GOING DOWN
TO TALK TO THEM NOW.

I'M COMING WITH YOU.

DON'T LET HIM
OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.

THIS IS THE MASS
SPECTROMETER READING

FROM THE DRUGS FOUND
IN BARRY COOK'S APARTMENT,

AND THIS IS FROM YOUR
CLIENT'S GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

IT'S THE SAME DRUGS.

SAME POISON.

ASK FOR
AN INDEPENDENT ANALYSIS.

CAN WE GET
OUR OWN ANALYSIS?

BE MY GUEST, IF
YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

BUT IF WE
GO TO COURT,

AND I'M KIND OF
HOPING THAT WE DO,

WE'RE NOT GONNA NEED
TO USE ALL THIS

CONFUSING
CHEMISTRY STUFF,

BECAUSE
YOUR CLIENT'S DRUGS

WERE WRAPPED IN
THE SAME COMICS PAGE

AS BARRY COOK'S.

AND YOUR CLIENT'S
FINGERPRINT

WAS FOUND ON
BARRY COOK'S PACKET.

JURIES LOVE
THIS KIND OF THING.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I NEED TO PUT
SOMEONE IN PRISON

FOR KILLING
BARRY COOK.

DOES ANYONE ELSE
HAVE THOSE DRUGS?

THEY'RE TRYING TO PIN
BARRY COOK'S DEATH ON YOU,

AND YOU'RE NOT NAMING
NAMES. YOU'RE STUPID.

OK.

I BROUGHT A CELL PHONE.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO,

BUT I'M GONNA LEAVE THIS
PHONE HERE WITH YOU,

AND I WANT YOU TO MAKE
WHATEVER CALLS IT TAKES

TO TAKE THAT CRAP
OFF THE STREETS.

YOU COULD
AT LEAST DO THAT.

MR. MATLIN'S CLAIM
IS SPECIOUS.

THE FLAMMABLE LIQUID
WAS ONLY LIGHTER FLUID.

THE ROTTEN FOOD
WAS A DAY-OLD SALAD.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THESE ARE EMERGENCY HEALTH AND SAFETY PROBLEMS?

MAYBE NOT.

BUT CAN YOU TELL ME
HOW TO GET THIS...

MAN OUT OF
MY APARTMENT?

LAWFULLY.

THIS COURT WILL NOT
ENDORSE A FRAUDULENT CLAIM, MR. MATLIN.

NEXT CASE.

YOU WIN.

HEY, JAKE.

HI.

I JUST SUED A NUN.

IT'S ONLY BUSINESS.

THAT'S ABOUT
AS BAD AS IT GETS.

I JUST PREVENTED
A NICE JEWISH MAN

FROM EVICTING
HIS NEO-NAZI TENANT.

ALL RIGHT,
I STAND CORRECTED.

JAKE, JAMES.
JAMES, JAKE.

HEY.
HI.

A NUN?

WHAT'D SHE DO?

SHE, UM, SHE PAINTED
A MURAL OF BUNNY-BUDDY.

REMIND ME AGAIN
WHY WE BECAME LAWYERS.

IT'S NICE
TO MEET YOU, JAKE.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

WHAT, WAS HE SERIOUS
ABOUT THE NAZI THING?

OH, YEAH.

NOW I FEEL STUPID
ABOUT FEELING BAD ABOUT MY NUN.

NICK?

UH, YOUR PHONE.

RUSSELL SAID
YOU FORGOT IT.

NO, I DIDN'T FORGET IT.
I LEFT IT THERE.

I THOUGHT HE MIGHT
CALL HIS DEALER.

DID HE MAKE
ANY CALLS?

YEAH, ONE. ONE.
DO YOU KNOW THE NUMBER?

YEAH. HE JUST
CALLED HIS FATHER.

THEY CLOSE?

PRETTY CLOSE.

DO YOU WANT TO
TELL ME ABOUT IT?

WELL, UH,
IN HIGH SCHOOL, UH,

WEB AND I WERE
BOTH HELL-RAISERS,

AND WE'D DRIVE 200 MILES
TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

JUST TO FEEL LIKE
SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING.

AND THEN, UH,
HE STRAIGHTENED OUT,

AND HE WENT OFF
TO COLLEGE, AND...

I HAD JUST 3 THINGS
IN MY LIFE.

RUSSELL, WORK, AND...

WHITE ZINFANDEL.

AND THEN, UH, WHEN HE
CAME BACK FROM COLLEGE,

WEB HELPED ME
GET IT TOGETHER.

DO YOU THINK THAT
RUSSELL MIGHT HAVE TOLD HIS FATHER

WHO HIS DEALER WAS?

HE MIGHT.

WELL, I'D LIKE
TO TALK TO HIM.

OK.

LET ME HELP YOU.

I'M OK.

I DON'T MIND.

I'M FINE.

THANK YOU.

NOW YOU KNOW
HOW I FEEL.

I DEFENDED YOU...

BECAUSE I BELIEVE
IN THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE LAW,

AND I BELIEVE
THAT ALL PEOPLE DESERVE A GOOD LAWYER.

BUT I DO NOT KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL, MR. NILSSON.

AND YOU AND I HAVE
NOTHING IN COMMON.

IF YOU FELL OFF
THE FACE OF THE EARTH,

I'D THEN THROW
A PARTY EVERY YEAR

TO MARK THE ANNIVERSARY.

NOW GET YOUR HAND
OFF MY CAR.

SO HOW'S IT
LOOK FOR RUSS?

IT'S NOT GOOD.

HOW BAD COULD IT BE?
I MEAN, HE'S 16 YEARS OLD.

IT'S A POSSESSION
CHARGE, RIGHT?

HE'S GONNA
BE BOUND OVER.

THEY'LL TRY HIM AS
AN ADULT FOR HOMICIDE.

YOU'RE EXAGGERATING.

THESE KIDS,
I SEE IT ALL THE TIME--

THEY SEND THEM
TO THE WORK CAMPS OR THE SHUMAN CENTER.

MR. HALL,
THE PUBLIC DEFENDER TOLD ME HE'D BE LUCKY

TO GET A DEAL FOR
10 YEARS FOR YOUR SON.

WHAT CAN I DO?

WELL, HE HAS TO
GIVE UP THE DEALER.

AND MAYBE YOU CAN HELP.

YOU CAN TELL HIM THAT
HE IS DEFENDING SOMEONE

THAT HASN'T LIFTED
A FINGER TO HELP HIM.

I KNOW WHO HIS DEALER IS.

BOY'S GONNA
DO SOME TIME.

12 MONTHS,
ADULT PRISON.

NO. JUVENILE COURT
AND PROBATION.

A KID DIED.

HE HAS TO DO
SOME TIME. 6 MONTHS.

YOU LISTEN TO ME.
I WILL GIVE YOU THE TOP GUY

WHO WILL COP
TO MAKING THE BAD BATCH AND DISTRIBUTING IT

IN EXCHANGE FOR 3 MONTHS
AT THE SHUMAN CENTER.

THEN IT LOOKS
LIKE WE HAVE A DEAL.

WHO IS IT?

IT'S HIS FATHER
WEBSTER HALL.

JUST SAY
THE WORDS, WEB. TELL HER.

HEY.

HEY.

RUSSELL WAS
ALWAYS CLOSER TO YOU THAN HE WAS TO ME.

NO. HE'S CLOSE TO YOU
IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

YEAH.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

BARBARA...

HE'S ALL I'VE GOT.

I KNOW.

BARBARA,
WHEN I WENT TO ALTOONA

FOR THAT JOB INTERVIEW,

THERE WAS
NO JOB INTERVIEW.

I HAVEN'T HAD
AN INTERVIEW FOR 2 MONTHS.

WHAT WERE YOU
DOING THERE?

THEY HAVE THESE PARTIES,
THE KIDS.

THEY HAVE PARTIES
CALLED RAVES.

THEY WERE HAVING ONE
IN ALTOONA THAT NIGHT.

WEB, I--

UH...

THIS GUY
I USED TO WORK WITH

AT MT. AIRE CHEMICAL,
HE--NAME'S GIL--

HE ASKED ME
IF I HAD ANY EXPERIENCE WITH P-TO-P REACTIONS.

AND I SAID, SURE, OF COURSE.
IT'S A STANDARD THING

WE USE TO MAKE MOTHBALLS,
DEODORANTS, ALL THIS STUFF THAT WE USED TO MAKE.

WELL, HE WANTS ME
TO MAKE HIM UP A BATCH OF MDMA.

ECSTASY.

HE SAYS A SMART GUY

WITH $500 WORTH
OF INGREDIENTS COULD MAKE $5,000.

NO. NO.

SOMETIMES
IT COMES OUT WRONG.

SOMETIMES A BATCH
IS TOO HOT OR TOO COLD

AND YOU'VE GOTTA TEST IT
BEFORE YOU SELL IT.

SO I--I HAD THIS RUN
THAT I HAD TO TEST.

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME,
SO I WRAPPED IT IN THE FUNNY PAGES

AND I SHOVED IT IN THE WALL
BEHIND THE WATER HEATER.

MY BRILLIANT HIDING SPACE.

I NEVER--I NEVER THOUGHT
RUSS KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

HONEY, I WASN'T.

I WASN'T.

I WAS POOR.

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY ADULT LIFE, I WAS POOR.

YOU WEREN'T
WORRIED ABOUT RUSS?

HE'S EVERYTHING TO ME.
I WAS DOING THIS FOR HIM.

NO. NO. DON'T BLAME HIM.

DON'T YOU EVEN DARE
PUT THIS ON RUSSELL.

THIS YOU DID.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT.

YOU WERE PROTECTING
YOUR FATHER.

HE DID
THE RIGHT THING.

NICK TALKED TO THE
DISTRICT ATTORNEY.

YOU'LL SERVE 3 MONTHS
AT THE SHUMAN CENTER.

YOU'LL BE ON PROBATION
UNTIL YOU'RE 21.

AT THE END OF THAT TIME,
IF YOU BEHAVE,

YOUR RECORD
WILL BE EXPUNGED.

AND WHAT ABOUT DAD?

THEY'RE STILL NEGOTIATING,
BUT HE'S GONNA SERVE TIME.

I'LL BE OUTSIDE.

TELL ME WHAT
REALLY HAPPENED, RUSS.

I FOUND DAD'S HIDING PLACE
BACK IN AUGUST

WHEN I WAS LOOKING
FOR THE CIRCUIT BREAKER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
JUST LEAVE IT THERE?

'CAUSE I'M NOT
A FOOTBALL PLAYER.

AND I'M NOT AT ALL POPULAR.

BUT WHEN PEOPLE
THOUGHT I HAD E,

EVERYBODY WANTED
TO BE MY FRIEND, MOM.

EVERYBODY.

YOU GAVE THE DRUGS
TO BARRY COOK.

YEAH. BUT, MOM, I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

WELL, I DON'T THINK
HE'S GONNA SIGN.

THIS BUNNY FREAK
IS JERKING US AROUND JUST BECAUSE HE CAN.

IF WE DON'T
CLOSE TODAY, WE DON'T CLOSE.

WHAT DID YOU OFFER HIM?

15 MILLION. HE CLAIMS
IT'S NOT THE MONEY.

WHAT IS IT, THEN?

HE WANTS TO BE LOVED.

LIKE SOME KIND
OF WALT DISNEY JR.

SO WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT?

NICK FALLIN.

WELL, MR. TROUT, UH,
WHAT IS THAT YOU WANT?

I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW
THAT BUNNY-BUDDY

WAS NEVER ABOUT THE MONEY.

WELL, IF IT'S
NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, THEN WHAT IS IT ABOUT?

I WANT THEM
TO STOP MAKING CRAP OUT OF MY BUNNY-BUDDY.

EVERY BUNNY-BUDDY
THAT IS MADE CAN HAVE YOUR STAMP OF APPROVAL.

I'M A TOYMAKER,
NOT A BUREAUCRAT.

WELL, SOMEONE
THAT YOU TRUST,

THEY CAN MAKE
A HEFTY WAGE JUST TO SAY NO.

THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

YOU WANT CREDIT?

YEAH.

EVERY BUNNY-BUDDY
PRODUCT CAN HAVE A TAG ON IT

THAT SAYS, "FULTON TROUT
INVENTED BUNNY-BUDDY."

AH, AH, SEE, IT'S "CREATED."

"INVENTED" SOUNDS
LIKE A MAD SCIENTIST.

YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

GREAT. DONE.

CAN WE CLOSE?

I WANT A MUSEUM.

A WHAT?

A MUSEUM.

HONORING YOU.

A TOY MUSEUM.

WITH, UH,
YOUR TOYS IN IT, AND, UH, FAMILY HISTORY.

MM-HMM.
A RE-CREATION OF MY HOUSE.

THAT WOULD BE
VERY INTERESTING.

WHAT ABOUT THE MURAL?

WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE MURAL, IT...

THE MURAL IS A PROBLEM.

IT'S A PROBLEM
BECAUSE THE JAPANESE,

THEY'RE PAYING
FOR THE TRADEMARK.

THEY'RE BUYING
THE TRADEMARK,

AND THEY'RE WELL
WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO PROTECT IT.

I'M TIRED OF
CHILDREN HATING ME.

WELL, MAYBE
WE COULD JUST LET THIS ONE MURAL STAND.

ALL RIGHT.

OK.

GREAT.

THIS MORNING,
I PUT 2 BOWLS ON THE TABLE

AND STARTED MAKING
OATMEAL WITH GRAPE JELLY--

THAT'S HOW RUSSELL LIKES IT--
AND I JUST STOPPED.

'CAUSE HE'S NOT THERE.

HE'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT, BARBARA.

THE FIRST COUPLE
OF NIGHTS ARE SCARY.

HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
HE'LL BE FINE.

ALVIN.

I'M READY.

GOOD.

LEGAL SERVICES
OF PITTSBURGH.

CAN YOU HOLD,
PLEASE?

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HELLO, MR. TROUT.
I'M SISTER ANNE.

YES, WE SPOKE
ON THE PHONE.

WE SPOKE
ON THE PHONE, YES.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
THE CHILDREN.

CHILDREN, I WANT
YOU ALL TO COME

AND MEET
MR. FULTON TROUT.

HE WAS THE MAN
WHO CREATED BUNNY-BUDDY.

HE'LL TELL YOU
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW.

HI, HOW ARE--
HI, EVERYBODY, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD!

GOOD. HA HA! THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS.

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO DO THIS?

2 SEASONS!

OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S A LONG TIME.

YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T ALWAYS
USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS.

RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING HE
USED TO HAVE SOME OVERALLS,

AND HE HAD SOME FUNNY SHOES,
AND I HAD A HAT ON HIM

THAT HIS EARS
SORT OF WENT THROUGH,

AND THEY KIND OF DID
THE FLOPPY LITTLE THING LIKE THIS...