Original subtitles

Miss…

Miss Monika. Congratulations!

There's some.

Once again, on behalf of myself and the entire faculty here…

Excuse us.

I congratulate you all.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

I'm sorry.

Go, go. Hey, scooch over a bit.

Excuse us.

I told you, we should've bought a bigger one.

Miss Zofia…

A meadow of flowers wouldn't be enough for you.

There she is! Majeczka.

Maja.

Mr. Miłosz.

-Here you go. Congratulations. -Thank you.

-Congratulations. -Thank you.

Miss Maja.

Maja!

-Thank you. -Congratulations.

Miss Maja is graduating at the very top of her class!

Yeah! That's my little girl!

My flesh and blood!

You're starting a new chapter in your life, hon.

About that. I've been wanting to tell you this for a while.

I know. You're the most precious thing in my life, too,

and I already know it.

-There's no need to tell me. -Mm.

-I love you. -Okay.

Okay, but that's not what I wanted to

Majka!

You little brainiac!

And up!

And up!

And up!

And up!

Gosh darn it.

Oh! Thank you.

Thank you.

Um…

I will pay… pay you back, uh, again.

Uh, no worries.

Miłosz Rugwiro.

Mirosław Roszkowski.

I'm sorry.

I was just taken off guard, because you speak my language so well.

Thank you.

So do you, sir.

I'm getting married, and I'm gonna tell Dad today.

Why are you in such a hurry, my dear?

Can't you wait till you're a bit older?

Hmm? Like a year or two.

So, Dad and your fiancé can get to know each other.

Maybe he'll even like him.

Mm… Are you kidding me?

All my exes still have a stutter because of him.

Precisely.

You wouldn't want to put someone you love so much through all that.

Dad, we need to discuss something.

Maja.

I'm gonna get married.

Over my dead body.

Let's go.

I told you.

DEATH BEFORE THE WEDDING

MAŁE DOBRE DAIRY

Jesus!

What the heck? The weekend starts on Thursday now, huh?

What's the problem?

You were at Manager Szyszko's birthday party last night too.

Yeah, I was. but I went home at a normal hour.

What time did you leave?

I went after the last round.

'Cause turning him down would've been impolite.

-And how many last rounds were there? -I stopped counting after the sixth.

Jesus, why am I such a dunce?

Got that right. You're a dunce and a drunk!

It's totally pathetic.

If I left you alone for three days, you'd all be dead.

Shameful.

So, gentlemen, in less than a month,

we've shut down 27 small,

unprofitable, dairy plants.

In their place, we'll be launching three large dairy companies,

which, we estimate, will produce up to one million liters of milk per day.

Bravo.

Mm.

Mmm!

And we'll get started once I'm back from vacation, okay?

Uh…

Uh, what's going on?

Can someone fix this?

There's one dairy plant remaining.

What? Where?

Mm, the smallest one. Must be why we overlooked it.

MAŁE DOBRE DAIRY WORKING - TO BE SHUT DOWN

This is absurd!

You should have your people doing this for you.

Honey, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

Yeah, unless you're the CEO.

-But I am the CEO. -So you shouldn't have to.

The dairy is on our way, I'll just quickly shut it down,

and then we'll head right to the boat.

-Yacht. -The yacht. We'll head right there.

Małe Dobre Dairy, how can I help?

-Hello! This is CEO Rylski. -Shh!

-I'd like to speak to the manager. -Hello.

Can you please speak a bit louder?

This is CE Hey, hey! Watch it, okay?

You're threatening me?

Hello? Oh…

Szyszko here?

No, I haven't seen him.

That's strange.

He's always around.

I called him this morning. No answer.

-All right. -Mirek?

-Yeah? -Anything else?

What?

-No, nothing. -Okay.

Get in here, you drunkard.

I'm coming. Good morning.

Oh, well…

JULY 5, FRIDAY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Happy pearl wedding anniversary, Mom.

You deserve an Olympic medal

just for being able to put up with Dad

for a whole 30 years.

Uh, it wasn't so hard.

Your father's not that bad.

He just…

He forgot!

Again?

The dairy plant's his entire world.

Mommy, listen, you should be his entire world.

One second.

Małe Dobre Dairy.

Hello, can you please put someone competent on the phone?

That you again?

I said, can you put someone competent on the phone?

Hey, hold on, hold on.

Before you start calling people, you need to learn some manners.

I don't wanna interfere or anything, but if you want my opinion,

I think these people are ignoring you, Mr. CEO.

Oh my!

I gotta go, sweetie.

There's this obnoxious man who keeps calling our phone.

Bye.

Małe Dobre?

- CEO Rylski here. - Shh.

CEO?

Oh, the secretary's on maternity leave,

and you've reached Accounting, Mr. CEO.

Sir, I sincerely apologize.

Well, you'll be able to do that in person, because I'm almost there.

Wait! Why are you coming?

Uh, why are you coming in person?

- Karol! - Boss.

Seen Szyszko recently?

Yesterday.

He was, uh, supposed to lock up, but this morning it was unlocked.

I'll call him again.

Go.

-Why me, though? -Because someone has to, and it's you.

-But I'd rather not. -Why?

Because today I've got, uh, milk phobia and a fear of heights.

All right, all right, all right. I'll just do it!

Thank you very much.

Aren't you embarrassed? She's got bigger balls than you.

Where the devil can't go, he sends a woman, eh?

That's right. Bravo.

Oh, geez!

Everyone!

We've got a problem!

I think you're right about that, Regina.

The CEO is on his way.

Where's Szyszko?

Right. I'm off.

Go, but just don't forget who you are.

I'm the CEO.

Who?

Mm.

The CEO.

Just remember, don't breathe a word about you-know-who.

Discretion is my middle name.

Mm-hmm…

- Good morning. - Oh!

Eh, hello, Sir, welcome.

Sir, on behalf of myself and everyone

-All right, let's skip the formalities. -What?

Where's the plant manager?

He's gone now.

Um, I… I mean, he's already left.

When can I meet him?

-Sir, I'm sorry. -Yes?

We… We will all meet again on Judgement Day.

What?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Where's the plant manager?

Mirosław Roszkowski. Nice to meet you.

Yes, yes. Yeah, you… Where's Szyszko?

Uh, he left.

Where to?

On vacation.

Just vacation.

Senior Constable Tomasz Gawron.

Where's the deceased?

Discretion, huh?

Huh! So, skeletons in the closet, huh?

Freezer.

Okay, Renia, don't cry. Go to the office.

-Come on, go to the office. -We were the same age.

Go, go.

COLD ROOM

You people are so screwed.

Mirek, let us know once you're done.

Oh, man, that's so cool.

- Stop, I'm recording. - Hey

-Move it. -Don't push!

I can't even…

Whoa! We're gonna get so many likes with this.

Hello.

I always eat when I'm nervous.

Hello, ma'am.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Mm.

That bread looks pretty good.

It's delicious.

It's from our local bakery.

It's got such a nice crust.

No flavor enhancers.

And here's our cheese.

Mm.

I'll just taste a little.

Out of courtesy.

Oh, my God!

I haven't tasted bread in three years.

As punishment?

No, I'm dieting.

I can last pretty much a whole week just by smelling bouillon cubes.

Oh, my…

Mm. Monika.

Ika.

Regina. My pleasure.

Nice to meet you, despite the circumstances.

Mm!

Our manager's just kicked the bucket.

My husband forgot our wedding anniversary.

Really?

And my daughter wants to get married.

That last one seems like a pretty good thing.

Mm-hmm. Or the beginnings of a catastrophe.

But what a beautiful one!

You can't just leave now. We need to talk.

- Nothing to say -That's your opinion.

But, listen, the plant has to close. It's unprofitable.

And besides, this is outdated machinery.

Because you chose not to invest in us.

Have you seen the black smoke coming out of your chimney?

Does carbon footprint mean anything?

Does women's wrath mean anything?

Oh, please, you don't even have a manager.

Temporarily.

We have lots of smart gals on the plant here.

They're very experienced. One of them can do it.

All right, why don't we talk seriously about this.

I'm ready to take over the position.

-Why you, though? -Because I'm a man, for one.

I don't even care who does it. I just don't want to go back to Silesia.

Okay, let's not get dramatic now! It's just business.

For you, it's business. For us, our life.

That's the price of progress.

Yeah, but progress has nothing to do with cows!

For hundreds of years, they moo,

they eat grass, have four stomachs,

they give milk, and leave cow pies.

Now, you people in Warsaw, you think that cows can produce soy milk.

-Or rice milk. -Or oat milk.

- Okay, what'll it be? - We're tearing it down.

Honey, you remember, how at our wedding?

Excuse me, nothing's getting torn down here, buddy.

What will be, will be. The die's already cast.

Exactly! There's gonna be a wedding.

- Majka's getting married. - Yeah?

Our daughter's also named Majka.

-She's talking about our daughter. -Mm-hmm.

Talking about our daughter? Married?

No, I don't agree to any wedding. End of discussion.

Neither do I.

And nothing's getting torn down here.

Are you the CEO, or aren't you?

When your wife says there'll be a wedding, there'll be a wedding.

I really love organizing weddings, but he just doesn't get it.

All right.

Ah!

Oh, so beautiful!

Mm. Keep maturing.

Ah!

Rest up.

Occupied!

Mr. Roszkowski, here's the deal.

You said you don't want me to close the dairy.

And I want my wife to keep sleeping with me.

Do you know, whatever you do in the privacy of

Relax. Relax.

I think we can both benefit here.

-You can marry off your daughter… -Over my dead body.

…and my wife will organize the wedding ceremony.

Mr. Rylski, please don't touch the cheese.

I think you're forgetting that this isn't your own personal little playground.

You closed the plant down and fired us.

For three weeks.

After the wedding's done, you'll present a restructuring plan.

And a candidate for the new manager.

Remember, no wedding, no dairy.

This is Maja. Please leave a message.

Hi, sweetheart.

Listen, I've been thinking it over.

If you want a wedding,

you've got one.

Bye, hon.

You see?

Without me, you'd all starve to death in three days.

All of you.

Today, we say goodbye to our brother, father, manager,

and commit Andrzej Szyszko's body to the earth.

He had…

Regina!

Uh…

"It comes without warning"

or "sneaks in like a thief through the back window"?

"Comes without warning."

Of course.

Without warning…

I made you a regular one, not a Windsor knot.

-All right. -Sit down!

Okay. I'm coming.

Do you have a manager in mind yet?

What?

Do you think that the manager could be a woman?

Regina, come on, are you crazy?

-Women bossing us around? Come on. -Mmm.

-What? What's wrong? -What?

-Are you trying to tell me something here? -Me?

-Yeah. -No.

Hey, hey, hey!

You're not telling me that I'm not manager material, are you?

No, Mirek, come on! Who'd be better than you?

Stop it.

I'd never doubt you.

How on earth could you even think that?

I wasn't thinking, you were.

Women…

You should just leave the men's business to the men, you know.

Jesus! What the hell are you doing?

-Oh! Sorry. -Are you nuts?

-Let me. -Men have managed our plant for 50 years.

In our country, honoring tradition is important!

Of course, it is.

I just need to come up with some genius plan.

I have to clear my mind. I know I can.

I think a half Windsor would be better.

Better yet, a Gordian knot! Leave it.

-Mirek. -I just gotta come up with something.

And you will, honey.

Let's go. Ah!

And…

The life of our brother, Andrzej Szyszko…

Uncle, listen.

If you want, I can sniff around and find some dirt on that CEO.

…was tragically cut short.

What, you'll blackmail him with old traffic tickets?

He lived his life how he wanted,

and left on his own terms.

No.

As one should.

I'll look for embarrassing proclivities or depraved depravities.

And here is brother Mirek, who'll say a few words about him.

We're not that kind of people. We'll win fairly.

Fairly, I said.

To hell with it.

Listen.

Uh…

We all knew Andrzej well.

We know what the guy was like.

He was a good and upstanding man and…

Okay, okay, come on! Who am I kidding here?

He was a jokester.

And sometimes he could be a little harsh.

Couldn't he?

And as the ancient Poles would say, "The guy liked booze."

He did. He did.

But he loved our dairy plant like no other.

And I swear to you, Andrzej,

that I'll I mean, we'll do everything to not lose the plant.

So, God, please, help us out.

Szyszko and I were the same age.

Aw!

Aspergillum.

Okay, what are you planning?

Um, we have to coordinate our efforts here,

because we don't have much time left.

Friday is no good,

because Friday weddings, lifetime of dreading.

Uh, but Mirek and I got married on a Friday.

Um…

Well, there are exceptions to the rule.

But let's focus on this wedding.

How does Maja like my style concept?

Uh, how does Maja like the concept?

Very, very much.

So, how's the yacht?

Fantastic, yeah.

The big space really helps with seasickness.

Uh, could I talk to her about it?

Um, who?

Uh, to Maja.

To Maja?

To Maja.

Uh, to Maja, my daughter?

Regina.

Can you please pass her the phone now?

Uh, can…

I can't.

She's using her legs.

Using her legs?

To pick mushrooms now.

Mushrooms in July?

There is, kind of, an early-late crop.

Mmm.

Then maybe I can speak to the bride's father?

To the bride's father?

Him?

He's gone out to do somersaults.

Uh-huh.

He's…

with her right now, they're jogging.

Hope he doesn't have a heart attack before the wedding.

Right. Let's hope nothing like that happens.

It's good to hear they've made up. That's just great.

All right, good. I get it now. Two weeks tops.

Gotta go.

Thanks. Bye.

Do not try to help me like that again, you understand?

Mushrooms in July?

How are the wedding preparations going?

-Are you happy? -Mm-hmm.

-Very much so. -Hmm.

It's so wonderful.

-Uh, honey… -Hmm?

…you think you can find someone else for tennis?

Mm, you know, no one can ever compare to you.

-Hmm. Yeah! -Mm.

But I've got so much work to do.

I can make it up to you.

Mm-hmm.

Even for something like this, your daughter's running late.

Because she's taking the train, not driving.

Whatever. You raised her well.

Hey.

Hey. It's that ginger fellow?

He's not ginger.

-Ah, so you know who it is? You do. -No, I don't.

-Hmm? -I'm all in, hon.

We're gonna have ginger grandkids.

Ah, three of a kind.

You've won again.

Because poker's a man's game, huh?

Mm-hmm.

I guess I can get over a ginger.

It would've been much worse if it was a professor.

Ah, so it's a professor, right?

And she was ashamed to introduce him, right?

No.

-You ran off. -Mm, what a great son-in-law we got.

Just great!

Some kind of broke loser who's been divorced twice.

Maybe we'll get them from the station, so they don't have to taxi.

I already arranged for the ride of their dreams. Don't you worry.

What did you have, by the way?

-A straight? -Yeah?

Yes.

I hadn't noticed.

Looks like you won.

They're here!

Ah!

-Here, give it. -I hope you didn't have him handcuffed.

Well, I considered it.

Ah, there's my baby.

POLICE

Majunia.

Hi.

Regina, not one word about the dairy, got it? Not one word.

Hey, guys!

Who's he?

Ah…

A party crasher?

I don't get it. Why the hell did they bring their…

-…their friend from school? -Hi.

-Majeczka -Hi, hon!

Mm.

-Hi. -Where's the ginger?

Uh…

Nice to see you again.

-How are you? -Hello!

-Yeah, so this -I know, he's your friend.

We met in the hallway at the university.

Yes, this is my fiancé, Miłosz.

Well, let's not stand around. It's raining hard.

Come on, kids, come inside now. Come in, come in.

Who did you bring?

Who did you bring?

Go!

Why couldn't it have been a professor?

Beautiful photo.

-From the internet? -The forest.

So, for tonight, I thought I'd make

You made goat meat, but the lions ate it.

-Why don't we play some music? -No, no music.

What about, uh, your birds?

No birds either.

-Here. -Thank you.

I hope that…

…you like couscous?

-I -He probably doesn't eat potatoes, huh?

I love potatoes, actually. My grandma had fields of them.

In Africa?

Near Świebodzin.

Dig in.

What about a prayer before we enjoy the meal?

Tell me, since when do we say a prayer before a meal?

Since always.

Because we are a Polish Catholic family that honors long-standing traditions.

Can you stop this?

I think it won't hurt if we skip prayers just this once.

Who wants juice?

I'd like some.

You must be proud of your daughter, huh?

And I bet you'll be missing her.

My daughter's not going anywhere. And definitely not to Africa.

She's not vaccinated.

What vaccinations?

Against viruses.

She won't need them in Holland.

Holland is a different matter.

For Holland?

For Holland? What now?

'Cause Maja's moving there to conduct research on plastic-eating fungi.

- Uh - Not anymore.

I decided not to take that job.

What do you mean? I thought that was your dream.

Mm… It still is. But I don't need to do it from Holland.

Then where?

Here.

Here, in this dump?

- Mirek. - This place isn't a dump.

Why didn't you tell me this?

Hey, I can't believe I forgot.

We've got a present for both of you.

I mean, uh, Miłosz does.

It's from Miłosz.

It's in the suitcase, right? I'll go get it.

Beautiful!

Miłosz's father brought it with him when he came here to study.

Can we talk for a minute?

Oh! I almost forgot.

Uh, Dad's also got a little surprise for you.

What kind of surprise?

Mm-hmm.

And, what's all this?

These are decorations for your wedding.

They're beautiful, and not some black…

Well, anyway, we've got to put together a detailed wedding plan.

It's in 14 days.

-Oh! -Yes! Got it covered.

There.

It'll be a gorgeous ceremony.

We're getting married in two weeks?

Of course! Why wait, right?

You know how unpredictable life can be.

What if you get hit by a car, or something, right?

-Mirek! -Unless you've changed your mind.

-Cold feet? -No, but…

No, but we're not getting married in two weeks.

But, darling, why not?

Don't tell me you were picturing something different, honey.

I know that planning a wedding is a big undertaking,

but you've got your father.

Your father.

A father without whom you'd starve to death in three days.

You would. That's the truth, so…

- Honey! Stop it, Mirek. - All right.

We're thinking rose pergola.

You'll have these little cages set out all around.

A carpet of flowers.

A one-point-five meter cake from Aunt Danka.

Made with cream frosting.

Yes, and we'll release those lanterns that can fly all the way to China.

You know what I mean?

And Father Janusz has already agreed

to pass you in his Pre-Cana correspondence course.

So, all your confessions are over and done with already.

It's way less of a hassle.

And as an added bonus, Miłosz has been confirmed.

I've already been confirmed.

So, when you're old and dying,

you'll trade it in for burial in that sacred plot.

Mirek.

So? What do you say?

-Yes? -No.

Maja, wait.

He's doing this on purpose.

When did you decide this?

Did you hear him? I would "starve to death in three days."

When did you decide we weren't leaving?

I don't know. About a month ago.

A month?

This is why he agreed to the wedding.

Because he has to decide everything himself.

Just like you, huh?

No. No, we can still talk about it.

Talk about what? The fact that I already found a job in Holland?

But… But you know you can find a job anywhere

Or the fact that we're not getting married?

We are… We are getting married.

-Just not… -Just not what?

Just not like this.

Did you set up the guest room?

-What? -Did you set up the guest room?

Because no one will be living in sin inside my home.

Separate beds till the wedding.

If there'll even be a wedding. We shouldn't have forced them.

Who's forcing them? Am I forcing them? She wanted to get married.

-She did, but we -So, she got what she wanted.

And she'll calm down. It'll pass. It's already passed.

It'll pass.

What's with that, "Without me, you'd starve in three days"?

Because that's the truth.

Without me, you'd all starve in three days.

Mm-hmm.

I got it. Thank you.

Your dad does mean well.

He always does.

And the result's always the same, too.

Maybe you've given in, but I don't intend to.

-You have no idea how similar you are. -That's not true!

That's not true. We're totally different.

Honey, try to understand.

Your father always dreamt of you finishing college,

traveling the world, becoming a scientist.

What's so wrong with that?

Nothing's wrong, but those are Dad's dreams.

-And I've got my own. -Mm.

And I don't intend to live out his dreams.

Mommy, I know everyone's leaving town.

All of my friends want to move away.

But I sincerely don't want what they want.

I want to stay right here.

Take your suitcase off the bed.

As soon as I'm done unpacking.

We don't even know who his parents are.

We don't know what they do. We don't know what he does.

We know nothing.

-All we have to do is ask. -Hmm, yeah.

He's not letting Majka go abroad.

No, no, honey. That was her own decision.

Sure, it's her decision.

Please, it's all just a smoke screen.

He's conquering her little by little, trust me.

Lie down. Listen to your bird sounds. I don't know, just try to relax.

Why aren't you seeing it, Regina?

It's how it begins.

You know how they…

Who's they?

Well…

Men tend to treat women they're with.

Ah, I know all about that.

Hmm.

Maja loves him.

Yeah, she loves him, sure.

She loves him.

He's…

He's bewitched her.

I know it.

He's bewitched her. He… You get it.

And I know how.

-Mi Mirek. Mirek. -Yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah! Well, all right.

Ah! Ah-ha!

Have you thought…

Have you thought about what language you'll speak with your grandkids?

You know what, Regina? You disappoint me.

And so does your daughter. You know that, darling?

Both of you have stabbed me in the back.

Then you should be glad that there won't be a wedding.

What do you mean? Don't even say that!

It's gonna happen. Why wouldn't it?

After the way you greeted that boy?

Oh, Mirek!

I'll be shocked if he doesn't flee during the night.

And where are you going?

I am not sleeping with a racist.

I'm not a racist.

-Yes, you are. -Me? I'm not a racist!

-What are you talking about? -Yes, you are. And a troll.

And a silly old fart.

I'm not old. Okay? I am not old.

And I'm not a racist either.

I'm friends with a guy from Silesia.

Hey.

Hello!

Where are you going?

To the bathroom.

Ah, there's one in the basement. Go right ahead.

That's the ladies'.

So…

Go ahead, go ahead. Downstairs.

I'll wait right here. In case you get lost on your way back.

- Right here. What? - Get that outta here!

No drinking in the command center. Out.

All right, gentlemen, I've gathered you all here to inform you

that the fate of our families,

of our town, rests in our hands.

Actually, my hands, but I need your help.

Relax, man, you can count on us.

This is about the foreigner.

Tomek told me.

My sympathies.

I don't need your sympathy.

Right. Instead of being ginger, this guy's a bit…

Tanner.

- I'd say mahogany. - Shut up, Gajda.

Must I remind you that when you arrived…

-Sheesh! -…you looked like a coal merchant's son.

Let's make one thing clear.

Miłosz is a Pole.

Yeah, sure, he's a Pole.

I bet he cries when they play the national anthem.

Or when our white-and-red eagles score a goal.

Nah, but we can go buy him a jersey.

Yeah, one of the shirts with hussar wings.

That'd be cool. He'd learn our history then.

For crying out loud, who asked you for any of your idiotic comments, huh?

-You did. -No, I asked for your help.

You're not buying him anything.

I'm asking you not to scare him off, not before the wedding.

-Scare him off? -Yes, scare him off.

Hey, we're not some dumb hick town. We respect all the misfits.

We've got Karolina.

A rainbow flag.

In a drawer.

Just doesn't fit the decor.

But I mean it about Karolina.

Has anyone ever been rude to her?

-Never. -See?

Well, maybe once.

But unintentionally.

All right, gentlemen.

From now on we're friendly, helpful and tolerant.

Okay?

What is it? Why are you laughing?

At least for the next two weeks.

And you…

Find dirt on Rylski.

Oh, so now you want me to do some digging?

Yes, I want you…

-Hmm. -…to dig.

We need a plan B.

And what they say, is it true?

What?

Mm, you know, that they…

Uh…

Uh, that they pray to pagan masks.

I wish we could've flown in.

But tell me, did Maja's parents make you feel at home?

Very much so, Mom.

And what did they say about having the wedding here, in France?

They said they really love that idea.

-It's just that -Wonderful.

Anyway, I wanna hear more.

Oh. Well, they, you know,

they're like a traditional Polish Catholic family.

- I said, no! - Stop it!

You know these little fits of anger are so childish.

Mm.

You two aren't going to work?

No.

Uh… Dad and I took vacation days,

uh, so we could spend time with you.

- Hmm. - And it was for nothing, I guess.

The croissants are baked, everything's ready,

and your future husband is still fast asleep.

- Hmm. - And the birds won't wait.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

-What about the birds? -Wild ones.

You know, wild fowl. What do you say we go hunting?

- Dad… - Uh, gladly, but…

Yes, we've got other plans.

-What about breakfast? -Eat without us.

Then go do whatever it is women do.

Go buy clothes.

Oh, you've got that book club later.

Sign Maja up, get her situated.

Mm, but, Dad, we

Okay, all set. We're gonna go on a hunt together.

We'll take our spears and machetes,

and we'll hack our way through the savanna.

We'll hunt down a something-or-other,

then tear out its beating heart and eat it!

- Mirek. - Yes.

At that moment, with our mouths still filled with blood,

we'll howl our praise to the goddess Kali.

I'll make you a man.

At that bus stop in Osiny yesterday, out in the rain,

you looked like a sad old lady.

Well!

Farewell.

He's not going to war. Relax.

Yeah.

With you, I can't be sure.

Clutch.

Start the engine.

Pedal, now. Harder.

Forward, my Black angel!

I don't know, this might end badly.

He's not gonna shoot him in the forest.

-Not before the wedding. -Huh?

I assume you haven't had, uh, much experience

with women who are…

White?

Don't you put words into my mouth.

Uh, women in general, I meant.

Mm. I've had some experience.

How much experience?

-I don't know. I guess a few. -A few?

Tell me right now, how many wives have you had in your life?

Uh…

Shh!

-I've been in a few relationships but… -Shh! Shh!

Okay.

-Tell me. -It wasn't anything serious.

Maja is really special.

She's also stubborn. You'll convince her to marry.

-Yeah, but it's just a formality. -Not to me.

Shh!

How much farther?

As far as necessary.

Listen, you convince her to marry you,

and I might just warm up to you.

Understand?

Okay. Shh!

I am "shh."

Jesus Christ, my God!

Have you gone mad?

Right.

Either you marry her, or…

You'll give me my last rites?

You never know when the Lord…

…might decide to whisk you away.

Jesus!

What?

Honey, can you just tell me what we're doing here?

In a moment.

- Majeczka. - Hi, Auntie.

Hi, Marzena.

Hi.

I've heard so much about you.

Looks like you're withered away in this big city.

But no worries, we'll fatten you back up.

No place like home, right?

-I'm so glad you called. -We can sign the contract right away.

Child, put that away.

Around here, words mean more than paper.

The entire town is so grateful for you.

Marzena!

Uh Uh, come in, come in.

Everything's ready.

-What was that? What -Nothing. Go on in.

This is our dungeon.

Be careful!

Jesus Christ!

Darling, are you sure about this?

It's cold, and dark, and really damp.

Yeah, it's perfect.

Tomorrow, I'll bring in the fungi samples that I've brought with me.

They should feel right at home with the ones already here.

We tried to get rid of them, but we never could.

They even doubled in size.

Brave little shroomies.

Little?

They were this big. They grew everywhere.

They were all over our archives down here.

Anyway, dear, if you like the space, take it.

It's empty anyway.

-She doesn't know? -Uh

Is there something I should know about?

- No. No, not a thing. - Mm-mm.

Uh, I was asking about your fiancé.

Do he and your dad get along?

He loved him right away.

Like a son.

Is no one working today?

What?

No, it's the weekend.

It's the middle of the week.

That's right. Gajda, it's the middle of the week.

Break's over, you get back to work.

Let's hurry up, that basement tour made us late,

Iza's gonna close up the stall. Let's go.

Iza!

Majka, Majka!

I heard you brought quite the hottie with you.

Congratulations, girl.

And don't worry, I'm committed to being single now.

Hmm, like you were, when you stole my boyfriend before prom?

Come on, ladies.

Okay, but back then, being single wasn't so cool, right?

Ah!

Hey, why don't we take a selfie in my cheese showroom?

While it still exists.

Why wouldn't it exist?

Well, what am I gonna sell after the CEO shuts down the dairy?

-What do you mean? -Iza.

Um… Uh, we'll take some gzik.

She doesn't know?

What don't I know?

And some rennet cheese too.

You're about to lose your jobs,

and Dad's about to spend all this money on my wedding?

We'll manage somehow.

The rest of the town might not.

But they can't just shut down the dairy.

- You need to fight. You have a manager. - Not anymore.

He's off in another galaxy.

Then maybe it's time for a new one. I mean, someone could still save it.

We need some kind of plan.

Small-scale dairies are all the rage now.

They gotta give you more time!

Your dad's handling it already.

Yeah, but someone else could.

But who else?

We need to leave. Karolina's waiting.

I'm coming with.

What about the stall?

The way things are going, I'm gonna end up living here. Let's go.

-Iza, are you in? -I'm gonna call.

I'm gonna call as well.

I thought this was an actual book club.

An eight, a six, and a five on the flop,

and two hearts.

Honey, we've been playing poker at least once a week.

Your mom taught us how to play.

Mm.

I'm in for 5,000.

- I'm calling. - And I fold.

I'll call.

-Ace on the turn. -I'll hold.

I knew she played in college,

but I thought she stopped after getting married.

Officially.

Officially, she even lets your father win.

Mm-mm.

I'll call.

Fold.

Cards.

Mm-hmm. An ace and two pairs.

-Bravo! Bravo! -Good game, everyone.

-Wonderful! -Very good.

And, seriously, none of the guys know you play?

The guys're all deathly afraid of women with balls bigger than them.

They labeled me as an old maid, for their own protection.

Maybe I should just grow a big mustache

and start wearing thick wool tights.

Here.

Uh, um, maybe some other time.

- Mmm. - Your loss, girl.

This weed's local. Better than those menopause drugs.

Yeah, that's just treatment. This is prevention.

We should be the ones to take over the dairy.

Why not?

Hanka, she's a mom, takes care of the house and her idiot husband,

and she never complains.

Karola can fix any machine, she's the master of the production line.

And Iza works a second shift after she closes the stall.

I pack three hundred cheeses in an hour.

Can you believe that? By hand, with these nails.

And yet, we're still ruled by men.

We should change that.

Sure, but someone would have to, uh, take the lead.

Mm, she won't listen to us, but she might listen to you.

Hello.

Hello.

Got a question for you.

Did you work here when the dairy was still up and running?

Production line.

Mm, that was before the scandal.

CEO Rylski…

wasn't fully transparent with his business dealings.

Meaning what?

Mm, can you tell me a little bit more?

About the CEO?

I don't really know anything.

But supposedly, the main office forced falsified milk tests on us.

What kind of milk tests?

How'm I supposed to know? I worked on the production line.

Apparently, they're gonna build a spa here.

A developer came.

Here? In the middle of nowhere?

Nowhere?

There's a nature reserve right there.

Warsaw tourists will come and trample it.

Who was supposed to run the tests?

I have no idea.

I worked on the production line.

The girls are all just overreacting.

Dad can be a bit brusque, but he's got so much on his plate.

Mm.

And without him, we'd all starve to death in three days.

You know what, the new manager could be a woman.

Now, I don't know who.

Maybe you?

Are you crazy?

What kind of crazy idea is that?

A very good one, I think.

There's no one better suited for this job than your dad.

-No one. All I can do is support him. -Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just like he supports you.

Why are you even listening to them?

This is a very bad idea.

It isn't though. It isn't.

-You're perfect for this job, you know it. -Mm.

You're dependable, you're trustworthy, and honest.

Yeah, painfully so. Come on.

For real, Wacek.

If this is how you're gonna help me, then don't even bother, okay?

We need to put a washer here.

Why the hell did I buy a new lawnmower! It's already scratched, huh?

Seriously! Some neighbor. Jesus!

Hello.

Hello.

You gentlemen used to work at the dairy here?

What?

Mind if we talk?

We don't want any trouble.

What do you mean "trouble"? We're talking.

Let's grab a beer. Take a break.

Come on, got some cold ones.

Did you buy that mower and car with severance pay?

Or was it with hush money, huh?

So, my wedding is just a bargaining chip for you?

Yes?

An ultimatum.

The CEO's condition in exchange for not closing the dairy.

Neither of us likes it.

You don't have to do this.

But I'll do it.

Maja…

All right, I'll get married.

But I've got one condition.

You'll apply for the position of dairy manager.

Out of the question, child.

I will not run against my husband. Ever.

I'm married to him.

I hope you come to understand what that means.

Well, I hope I never do.

And how will you explain to Miłosz that you've made another decision for him?

Miłosz?

I texted you. The coast is clear.

-Maybe we should wait, huh? -Mm. No.

Now, tell me, how did that hunting trip go?

Went great.

I think I seemed racist.

You? Racist?

You know, I was thinking, a White guy, a priest, a forest, and guns,

basically amounts to a Black pogrom.

But ultimately, your father and I worked out a kind of non-aggression pact.

So, what did you do to him?

I blew some ancestral ashes in his face.

You hear that?

He's gone.

He's gone now.

-So So you've… -Mm.

You've worked out this pact.

So, do you wanna get married here?

-I thought you said -But…

But I changed my mind.

Does it really matter when and where we get married?

Relax, Regina, just relax.

It's the martens.

The martens frisking.

We need to buy a cat…

…of some kind.

The wind's howling in the chimney.

Regina, how many sugars?

It's three. I put in three, as usual.

But three unstirred!

You just stirred it, and now it's undrinkable.

It's disgusting. Come on!

How long have we been together, Regina?

How long?

You know nothing about me. Nothing.

Why are you looking over my shoulder?

-What's the point? -Mm.

You wouldn't understand any of this anyway, hon.

Give it a break.

We going?

Uh…

For the meeting at Karolina's.

You're really crazy about this book club.

We need to fix the decorations.

I think some of them won't work.

Fix what?

For the wedding.

The wedding?

But…

-You mean, your wedding? Here? -Mm-hmm.

We're getting married.

Really?

So maybe, instead of going to the book club,

you'd rather spend some time with your future husband?

But my future husband would surely rather spend time

getting to know his future father-in-law.

Isn't that right, honey?

Definitely.

Well then, shall we?

Give Miłosz a tour of the dairy.

-May I? -Uh, yes.

Do they like to steal other people's sandwiches in Africa?

Was bringing him here really a good idea?

He's on our side, so calm down.

No, no, no, better not go there.

Trust me.

Hey.

Hey

This is the, uh, press.

For cheese.

Uh, we, um, make cheese, uh, together and, uh, put to…

Uh, oval shape. You know?

And this is the, um…

Vats. Big vats here.

For, uh, for milk.

Um, and this is the white water…

From the cows.

Uh, nice to meet you, brother.

It's very nice to meet you, too.

Uh, and how much do they hold?

3,000 liters.

-He speaks our language really well. -So do you.

I wonder where he learned it.

Through a correspondence course.

-God! -Great job, ziom.

Okay, gentlemen, uh, what's going on here?

Is your production on pause?

No, no, we're not on pause. We're just…

Um, doing, uh…

Uh, invent…

-Irvertory. -Of our stock.

"Irvertory?"

Oh! Okay.

Uh, mind if I take a look around?

Just try not to break or touch anything.

Of course.

-You're such a moron. -He seems like a pretty friendly guy.

Yeah, so what were you thinking? He'd bust in here with a spear?

All right, anyone got a plan?

I do. Uh, my plan is that…

Why, you, um

-Do you have a plan? -Me?

I might have some suggestions.

I could file an application for EU funding.

They have some programs that

I've got a friend who's involved in that.

You're thinking like guys.

-But that's good, right? -Maybe so.

But if their plan's the same as ours, we won't get anywhere.

You know why they're closing us down?

Because no one knows us.

They can close our dairy, tear it down, run a bulldozer over it, and what?

No one will notice.

The Internet.

The Internet is power.

Let's crawl out from under our rock and show ourselves to the world.

- Show the world what? - Well…

Show them our outdated production line?

Show them our prehistoric furnace? I don't know what.

That freezer with the thermostat, you have to monitor 24/7?

I know what we'll do.

See? See? This is power, huh?

Mm.

You guys really use coal here?

-What else? -Of course!

-Poland runs on black gold. -Mm-hmm.

What do you even know anything about production?

- I do know. - Yeah? Where from?

-Where? -Another correspondence course?

No. I majored in logistics and production.

Hey, hold on, hold on

No, no, no, no! You hold on, gentlemen.

Everything about this place is a total mess.

-What? -No, I mean it.

All your equipment is makeshift.

You need a new furnace, for one thing.

What do you mean, "a new furnace"?

This one's been working great for a century.

That's what I'm saying.

This thing's so old that they don't make these anymore.

You need a new production line. You need solar panels.

You're gonna tell me you also churn butter by hand?

Okay. Mm, can I see the cold store room?

Uh

You think he'll smell it?

The corpse was in here for 15 minutes.

You couldn't smell it, but maybe he can.

-Okay, come on. -Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Your cold store doesn't hold temperature?

Huh? It does.

You just need to keep an eye on it.

You guys really need a brand-new system.

Shouldn't we focus on the furnace?

That alone won't solve your problems.

Uh, but listen, you could probably put in

two or three temporary refrigerators,

and then do a major renovation.

That way, we'd only need to spend about 300, 400,000?

-Get out! -Funny. Great. Good one.

Have you lost your mind?

Well, it needs some work, but I think it'll do.

What about your fungi?

One doesn't exclude the other.

-Mushrooms and cheese go great together. -Mm.

Yeah, no, absolutely.

This place has a strong influencer aesthetic.

Yeah. You got any ideas on how to sell it?

Mm, not yet.

But I'll think of some.

All right, we got this. We just gotta put in some elbow grease.

Before we get all greasy up in here, there's something big we gotta tackle.

- More. Don't be shy. - That's all I've got.

What do you mean that's all you got?

-Clearly, it isn't. -Oh, come on…

This really is our darkest hour.

Nothing personal, ziom.

Uh, it's just a phrase we use here.

Listen, my friend manufactures cooling equipment.

I could get you a discount.

Two hundred percent?

No. Not that much.

But who knows? Maybe the head office can help out.

Nah.

-How about a loan? -Oh!

- What are they doing here? - Uh, I don't know.

Is this some kind of demonstration, or what?

Demonstration? No.

A proposition.

Hanka, who's with the kids?

Oh, now you care about the kids?

We want to save our dairy plant, so we're proposing our reform plan.

Karola, are you insane?

You talked them into this?

No.

I did.

You?

My very own daughter?

Sabotaging your father, throwing a wrench into the gears?

And we're putting forward our own candidate for plant manager.

Or more accurately, manageress.

A manage-what?

Wow, wow, wow!

Regina, what is this about?

You guys have your proposal, right?

Well, now we've got ours.

And we've got the right to present it.

May the best one win.

And who is your candidate?

You'll be finding out soon enough.

So this is a declaration of war, then?

If it's war you want, then it's war you'll get.

But for the time being, the dairy is ours.

What the hell is this?

This is how you wanna impress Miłosz?

You said to show some initiative.

What do you mean?

Well, Black guys play basketball.

Did you even ask him if he plays basketball?

Why bother? You can just assume.

- Run, Włodek, come on! - Pass it.

- Come on. - Not there!

- Pass it to me. - Go forward!

- Jeremi, pass it. - Here you go!

Here you go!

Do it. Go, go, go!

Kick! There you go!

- It's okay. - Go back.

Run! Run!

- Gajda, hit it! - Gajda! Gajda!

Go back!

All right!

Run, run, run!

- Go! - Go, go, go!

Nice one!

That's it.

- Nice, nice, nice! - Yeah!

- Ah! - That's a goal!

Yeah!

Thank you.

Thanks, man.

Are you crazy?

You want to give me a heart attack?

Obviously, you're trying to give me one, too, huh?

Tell me, who?

Stop it!

It can't be Karolina or Hanka. Who?

Sleep.

Your gang's gonna embarrass this whole town.

I'm gonna have to fix everything myself. Without me

-Yes, we'd all starve to death. -Precisely.

So cough it up, Regina.

Just come out and tell me.

Who?

Et tu, Brutus?

You betrayed me.

The whole world's turned upside down.

My own wife's betrayed me.

Where are you going?

I refuse to sleep with the enemy.

Okay?

They work together. They live together.

Can't they learn to get along somehow?

No, they can't.

You don't understand. You'd have to…

What? Have to what?

Well, maybe if I knew more about my father's plan,

it might help us out.

Mm-hmm. I'm not gonna rat on him.

No.

No, I'm not asking you to rat.

You'd be more of…

…an advisor.

Well, what are the guys planning?

Majka, I've barely gotten to the point

where your father's decided not to kill me.

And now, I'm supposed to reveal what they're planning?

I'm not telling you.

Well, maybe…

maybe I could convince you, somehow?

Hmm?

Fine. Have it your way.

Anyway, our plan is better than yours.

Damn it! That's some…

…strong shit.

Oh, no, no, no, no. If you break it, we're screwed.

I'm not kidding.

I've got a few offers from my friend with the refrigerators.

Thanks, but no thanks.

But we could review them together. I could help.

I'll do it later, on my own.

What's the problem with accepting help?

No. My problem is I hate pushy know-it-all

and fake-friendly types of people.

That's my problem.

Oh, I get it.

That's how we are, right? Polish guys.

That's if a guy is rude and boorish, we're fine with that.

If a guy comes in swinging, he's hailed a hero.

But if he's a nice person, then what?

He's either weak or an idiot, right?

Who'd wanna talk to an idiot? Especially a Black one.

All right, put that mug over there.

Ahh!

Take it.

-Drink up. -Cheers.

Mm. Mm.

Mm!

- Mm? - It's good.

Father Janusz made it.

You know.

Ahh!

Mm.

Mm.

Here, look.

This is option one.

And we could put in two of these.

What do you think?

Uh, this one's actually on sale at the moment.

Not made of bamboo, but looks great!

Greenfinch. Chloris chloris.

Did you get my funeral suit back from the dry-cleaners?

Why? Is there another funeral to go to?

Your plan's funeral!

Come on, Bambo!

I could file an application or something, but not without your wife's okay.

Boguś, who held you at your baptism, huh?

But this would be illegal.

Boguś, your forefathers, where did they all work?

Where?

This dairy kept you fed, you understand?

It even paid for your education, Boguś.

Head office will kill me. They'll replace me with an ATM.

Boguś, you already are an ATM, so calm down.

What?

What are you pointing your finger at, huh?

We both know that camera isn't real.

I can't accept your application

without your wife's signature.

-I'll step out for a bit. -Of course.

REGINA

REGINA ROSZKOWSKA

Didn't get this from me.

Why's it not in the database?

Case was dropped. He wormed his way out of it.

Or he paid someone off.

No use. It came from the top.

We'll see about that.

-Yes, but here… -Hello? Ladies, I'm talking to you.

-I know how we'll promote the dairy. -Oh.

Mm-hmm.

We'll post from my account, I've got two million views

and 500,000 followers.

These are fans of your nail art?

I'm sorry. I thought we were on the same team.

Well, okay, fine, you guys, I'll go get a manicure with you,

but nothing out of control.

Well, it won't be a manicure.

Ah.

- Hm. - Mm-hmm.

And people look at this stuff?

Pretty! Wow, people are loving this!

They're not just looking at it, they love it!

The Stasiaks' horse.

And they'll really love a group of chicks

taking over a dairy plant run by men.

So, what're we supposed to do, run around the woods now?

We're gonna do something really cool.

Something women haven't done before.

A kind of race.

Here we go.

-One, two, three. -Check this out.

Cheese rolling!

These people are nuts.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

No, no, no, we can't do that.

Of course, we can!

Hey, put that down.

-Pour one up! -No, no. Come on, guys, not today.

What do you mean "not today"?

-It's called "hair of the dog." -That's right!

-Right? -Uh-huh!

Are you a man, or are you a weak little boy?

Drink up. Here.

Cheers. Come on.

How's that?

Feel worse?

I know how it is.

I used to be the outsider here.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah! I went through my share of it.

I had to learn how to talk like them.

Yeah, you sure did.

Ah, so you don't think I talk like them?

You do. You do, but you need to try and blend in more.

"Blend in more." That's a good one.

The thing is, a Silesian can always drop his accent.

Or if you're chubby, you can always lose weight.

If you don't like being ginger, you can wear a hat.

But if I gotta hide, I gotta bleach myself?

The thing is, I've no interest in hiding.

Hang on, now. Don't hide. That's even better.

That's how you win them over. They'll respect you.

These are the best people in the world.

Rough, but still sensitive.

They're just afraid of strangers.

I doubt my future father-in-law's afraid of anything at all.

Oh, he's the most afraid.

They didn't have it easy. They never did. That's why they're like this.

Cheers, guys!

What?

Sure, got time to get drunk, huh?

But we need to buy a furnace and fridges.

-Got it? Pour me one. -And the money?

What about it? Cheers!

Where'd you get it?

My ass!

My grandpa's buried treasure!

I went to the woods and found his secret pot of gold.

What?

Mm.

Oh! Uh, thank you.

Yup. That's life, you know?

Sit down. Sit down.

Uh, uh, okay. Thank you.

Uh, gentlemen. It's all set!

We've got 21 days to pay the invoice.

-Bravo! -Another round!

He's my son! He's my son!

So that way, at least we don't die of thirst!

Gentlemen! Guys, listen up!

-What's that? What you got? -Rylski's going to jail!

I did it, I got that crocodile-skin-wearing asshole.

- Well done! You did good! - Good work!

They closed a total of ten dairies in a year.

They're already turning two into estates, and one into a spa.

Huh! Well, we'll get bulldozed too.

But a spa? Out here?

They sold three as farm land.

It's their land. It's not illegal.

It's not, but something else is.

There've been reports that they've falsified the milk.

What?

They're watering it down.

Uh, that That would've come out. They have to test the product.

Yeah, they do.

500 kilometers from Warsaw.

And I managed to get the results.

There.

But I don't understand them.

Hmm, yeah. Not sure.

Um, I don't either.

Like I told you, logistics and production.

Didn't you have to take any lab classes?

I didn't.

But…

I know someone who did.

Who?

Oh!

These are milk tests.

Potentially watered-down.

On a large scale.

No, not on a large scale.

On a gigantic scale.

- Yeah! High five! All right! - Did you hear that?

Okay. Thank you very much, ladies.

Farewell! See ya later, alligator. Goodbye. Show's over.

Ha! The manager will be one of us.

You know, it doesn't say who ordered the tests.

That means someone could've just printed these results off the internet.

Yeah, but these aren't from the internet.

A very professional and serious informant found them.

Mm-hmm.

Well, then we hope your professional and serious informant

can confirm who ordered these tests.

Yeah, I think that's all.

Thank you, guys.

Good luck to you.

And it won't be a manager.

It'll be a manageress.

Exactly.

Maja, come on!

Coming!

Yes, hello?

Hello! Is this Mrs. Regina Roszkowska?

It is, but I'm sorry, I can't talk right now.

I'm just calling to offer you our specialized product,

which we've tailored to your needs. I guarantee you'll be satisfied

Oh, no, I'm really not interested. I have every type of insurance, subscriptions.

I don't need any special health treatment,

or anything else you might be trying to offer me right now.

Mrs. Regina, in all seriousness, I'm calling from your bank,

I'm offering you a credit card designed specifically for your mortgage loan.

But I don't have a mortgage loan.

Of course you do, ma'am.

The contract's only just been signed,

but we do our best to work quickly,

and to consider the needs of the cosigners.

-So we thought you could use -Thank you, ma'am.

Uh, hello? M Mrs. Regina? Hello?

Ready. Did something happen?

Uh, Mom, I understand that we've sprung this decision on you.

And if you can't make it, then…

No. We'll…

I'll try my best to be there.

Uh, Dad will try his best too.

Right, honey?

Uh, Dad's got an urgent call.

The most important thing

is that you're happy.

I am.

- I… - Very much so!

He's basically found a second father in me.

Um, do you need me to send over

some, um, some warm winter clothes?

'Cause it looks like it's pretty cold there.

Oh, no, it's just a temporary cold spell, is all.

And…

And where's, uh, your fiancée and mother-in-law?

Now would be the time for us to finally, uh, finally meet each other.

I think it's time.

Ah!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, it's the girls.

Yeah, you're right!

Oh! Impressive somersault there.

You think? What did you expect?

What are they doing there?

Think they're just exercising. Self-care.

Regina's never done any self-care.

Maybe that's because she was alone.

Alone? She has me.

She always had me. Me!

Look, she's smiling. I've never seen her do that.

She's not smiling.

That's a grimace of exertion

'cause of the dumb workout.

That a greenfinch or goldfinch?

Greenfinch.

My God, it's just stunning! Like the Holy Grail.

-It is. It is. -Hey, where have you been?

-You're late. -Why'd you bring the kids?

I had to. Ever since she started plotting, Hanka's not around.

- Hello! - Hello.

-Come here, Jeremi! -Okay. Hurry up. Come here.

-Time to watch the eagle's landing! -Ta-da!

-Yes! Yes! Yes! Look! -There it is!

There it is!

-No, hold it. Got it. -No! Stop, stop, stop!

And touchdown!

-Ah, we've got it! -We got it.

-Can you feel it? -Come, hug the fridge!

-Come, come, come here. -Oh, man!

-Bet you've never seen this! -We're gonna be making so much cheese!

-Whoa! -Good job!

I don't know. Maybe a different one?

No, this one's perfect, I know it. Gotta be this one.

All right, so we've got a hill.

What about the cheese?

The guys are occupying the dairy.

We wouldn't have time to make it anyway.

Well, maybe not make it,

but we've already got it.

-Hmm? -Really?

Hi, cuties!

Hi.

Hey, we're here for the first women's cheese rolling competition.

For centuries,

only English men have taken part in this competition.

But, today…

Today, we women are gonna throw down the gauntlet,

and stick it to the dudes.

Why are we doing this?

Uh, so we can show the entire world that we're unstoppable!

Because, uh Because we're rebels,

and because we'd do anything to save our local cheese!

Like our video, share, and send it to your friends.

And now a few words from our Master of Ceremonies,

- the incredible future manageress… - Woo!

…of the best dairy plant on Earth.

Boss, what are the rules?

Um…

Well, uh, the wheels of cheese are very heavy and, uh…

- Mm-hmm. - …quite fast.

Listen up, the winner is the first one who manages to catch the cheese

and lifts it in the air!

Gentlemen, we are officially challenging all of you.

Cheese!

Three, two, one, go!

Grab it.

I got it.

I got it.

It's cool, huh?

Monster.

Ah!

Two monsters.

Gentlemen, the time has come to plug it in.

Yes.

- No, don't touch it! - Why not? It's not on.

I see that!

It's not working.

Your friend must've sold us a dud!

-Maybe it's the fuses? -Fuses-shmuses!

We spent all that money, and it was supposed to save us,

but instead, we're doomed.

I knew he was a saboteur.

-Oh, shut up. -What? He's not even from here.

-Shut your mouth. -Where am I not from?

Of course someone calls me now.

Africa? Is that where I'm from?

You call me "ziom" one more time, I'm gonna lose it, ziom.

Hello? I'm not gonna buy

All of them are?

Are people watching it?

We reach a mil?

We've got twelve views so far.

I've already watched it ten times myself.

Those other two are probably the girls.

Hanka!

- What? - Hanka!

Where are the kids?

Oh, now you care about the kids?

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

What's wrong?

-What the hell happened? -Nothing happened.

Just a few scrapes and scratches, that's all.

Really? Where's Regina?

The doctor's seeing her now.

Have you all lost it?

What, you're trying to commit mass suicide?

Are you trying to hurt yourselves?

Who thought this up?

Sure, this was everyone's idea.

Don't think you can fool a guy like me.

Now it's time to fess up.

Tell me, which one of you wants to be the manageress?

-Which one? -Me.

Regina! Jesus!

Say that again.

It's me. I'm gonna be their manageress.

No, that's not it.

It's gonna be this. Look, Miśka.

One, two, three…

Oh, gosh darn it!

HOSPITAL EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

Trying to steal a job from your very own husband.

My God!

What do you mean, "steal"?

The girls and I are just making a counter offer.

After 30 years of marriage?

This is a democracy, you dictator.

Dictator?

You were the one who was plotting a takeover behind my back.

And you weren't?

Are you serious?

This is so typical.

You always see the speck in another's eye,

but never the beam in yours.

What is it, Gajda?

Hello?

So… I changed the phase.

Why did you do that?

We've lost all power.

How did that happen?

Jesus, I don't know how.

Then we're completely screwed.

Are you coming?

Christ almighty! I'm on my way.

This is what you mortgaged our house for?

You knew about this?

Uh, we had to make a decision quickly.

Regina, let's not be dramatic.

-Without me, in three days -Enough!

Ouch! Enough with the "three days."

Because of you, we could lose the house.

But your betrayal is far worse!

Because of me?

My betrayal is far worse?

Oh, no, honey.

That's it. That's it.

Enough. The end. Finito.

And here I am, agreeing to this crazy wedding ultimatum,

-all just because I want to save the town… -Wait!

Excuse me, what ultimatum?

I'll repeat, what ultimatum?

Disperse.

Where you going?

I'm going to save what you haven't already ruined.

-Here. -What else?

- Get that one. - These are the last ones.

That one. Hand it to me, here.

All right then,

that's gonna be a ten-point penalty on your license, Mr. Mierzejek.

-What are you doing here? -Whoa!

Am I under arrest, officer?

Uh, we can skip the handcuffs this one time.

Do you need a lift?

-Ah! -Allow me.

I thought I'd come a bit early to surprise the young couple.

Let me get that.

-Here you go. -Thank you.

Now we're getting the silent treatment.

Mm. Yup.

And now she's gonna withhold sex in order to terrorize me.

Dad!

You forged my signature. I think you can take care of yourself.

Can we go back to being silent?

Sure, that's how you like it, huh? Keeping things nice and quiet?

Maja had the best of intentions.

You always have the best of intentions. The road to hell is paved with them.

Who's that?

Ah, the debt collector.

Go and answer the door.

He's gonna take everything we own.

All of it.

Oh, that's so funny.

It's so funny.

You're just like your mother. Exactly like her.

I'm nothing like Irena.

She's here early!

She's here. Quiet, pretend we're not home.

Shh!

They're ignoring me.

The CEO's wife?

Are you gonna keep smiling like an idiot, or are you gonna help me?

Or is that against the law, as well?

Right.

Exit the house and do not resist.

Otherwise, we'll have to apply force.

Has he gone crazy?

Why is he using a megaphone?

Go out there. Talk to him.

Turn that off! Are you completely out of your mind?

What are you doing, Tomek? What are you doing?

I never get to use it.

Use it at home!

So here I am,

coming all the way from the Vistula Riviera

to finalize your wedding plans, and this is how you greet me?

We're glad to see you.

We were in the middle of baking, so we didn't hear you.

What happened to you?

Huh? Don't worry about it. I'm fine.

You can either break it down and stop talking to each other,

or you can pull yourselves together and turn this failure

into something beautiful.

Yeah, but how?

Time for a rebirth. Like a phoenix.

What'll it be?

We're very sorry you came all this way.

This is just our lot in life.

No matter what we do, we can't get a break.

Oh!

I've got something for you two.

I was going to wait…

…until your wedding day, but this calls for it.

No, no, no. I really can't accept this.

You can, you can, you can. You must.

Małe Dobre?

Look.

Oh!

My great-grandfather.

COOPERATIVE DAIRY IN MAŁE DOBRE

Xawery Rylski hired him in 1894,

right after he finished building the dairy plant.

I found it in the main office.

My husband got it after he took over the plant.

That was the beginning of the end.

That's the truth, though.

My ancestors came here and settled down,

they all started families and built new homes,

and all of them worked in the dairy.

Generations of my family.

They tore down old buildings,

then built new ones,

but their hearts were here.

They were rooted here, always.

This is our place on this planet.

That's what I've been trying to tell you guys.

The kids will get married, then you'll rebuild the dairy,

and then their kids will pass another photo like this

onto their own kids.

What do you say?

She's gorgeous.

She's so beautiful.

Time hasn't really changed her at all.

God!

Regina, hang on.

Can we talk for a second?

Uh…

Since when are you interested in what I have to say?

Since always.

That's not true.

It's not true.

I was supposed to smile and nod.

You know what I am?

Like one of those toys.

Those dogs people put on their dashboard,

that nods its head up and down, up and down.

-That's not true, Regina. -It is.

-And you know what else? -No.

I want you to apologize for never appreciating me.

And for everything else.

All right.

I'm so sorry, Regina.

Stop crying.

And speak louder.

I'm sorry.

Good.

Aw!

Oh, honey!

-My darling girl. -Mom.

Congratulations.

Thanks again for picking us up off the side of the road.

Bad luck about that flat tire.

Roadside assistance would've taken hours, and I'd be late for the wedding.

Weddings are always so beautiful.

Only if you're smart enough to sign a prenuptial agreement

before it's too late.

Oh, how very romantic!

Our summers are cold, hmm?

Like Iceland, yeah.

Maybe they're stuck in traffic.

Or behind a tractor? Is it harvest season right now?

It's not.

He'll get here. He doesn't wanna face my wrath.

-They're here. -They're here.

They're here. They're here.

-Welcome to our home, everybody! -Hello!

- Sorry we're late! - Bonjour!

- Yeah. We had some… - Come.

…minor problems on the way.

Glad it was minor, or you'd be in major trouble.

-Welcome. -Hello.

- Oh, sorry. - Welcome, welcome.

- Oh, my gosh! - Nice to meet you!

You're even more beautiful in person.

Hi, Dad.

Hello. It's so nice to meet you.

Boys, come here, you can help me.

- Well! So glad to finally meet! - Yes.

-Mirosław Roszkowski. -Pleasure to meet you.

Hello.

-Welcome, welcome. -Roszkowska.

-Mirosław. -Mirosław.

-Mirosław Roszkowski. -Mirosław.

-A pleasure. A pleasure. -Yes.

All right.

Come here.

- Let's have a wedding! - Yes.

-Come in. This way. -Let's go.

- Welcome. - Let me take your coat.

All right then, sir.

-What is it? -Sir!

-What's in gonna be then, sir? -What?

Your wife seems to be happy.

We've got a wedding, everyone's satisfied.

And our deal still stands, doesn't it?

Of course, it does. Of course, it does.

We'll talk after the ceremony's over, hmm?

Moments from now, we'll be

I mean, you'll be setting out on a new life path.

Sometimes the road will be smooth, sometimes bumpy.

Sometimes this road will be strewn with roses, and other times…

And at other times, it might be…

It could be…

It could be covered in cow pies, really.

Excuse me.

What?

Let's cut to the chase.

In the presence of God and the, um, Catholic Church,

please repeat the following vows after me.

I, Maja…

I, Maja…

…take you, Miłosz…

…take you, Miłosz…

We have an excellent new business plan.

We also bought new machinery.

Hey, not now. Not now.

-Come on. -You seem like you're not even interested.

Listen, it's a just a puny dairy plant.

Take it easy.

If anyone present can think of a reason

that these couple

I mean, this couple

should not be joined in holy matrimony,

please speak now, or forever hold your peace.

Yeah, I have a reason.

Excuse me?

- I have a reason. - Jesus!

-There'll be no wedding. -Mirek!

Silence! There will be no wedding.

I mean, maybe they'll get married.

However, my beloved daughter and my…

-Son. -Son!

Won't make a spectacle of themselves for the benefit of this CEO,

who has decided to sell our dairy plant,

close it up, and put us out on the streets.

Is that true?

Honey, I was just trying to make you happy.

What's the matter?

You wanted a wedding, I gave you a wedding.

-I'm so very sorry, everyone. -Oh, Jesus!

I had no idea!

Nobody messes with this town! My investigation

-Okay, enough. Calm down. -Uncle

- Sit down! Stop yelling! - But…

I said, sit down! We're not gonna stoop to his level.

People, people, people, people!

The spa will be built, and you'll all make money off of it.

-I demand you sell us the dairy plant. -No, no, no.

I don't know where we'll get the money.

-I'll pay. -Me, too.

We're gonna buy the dairy plant.

Absolutely not.

'Cause we already have plans for this land,

and it's time you all accepted that.

No, listen.

You're going to sell the dairy to these people at a bargain.

- I mean, an extremely reasonable price… - Honey!

Honey

Or I will leak all your invoices to the media.

No, you wouldn't do that to me.

Oh, yes, I would.

-The whole world will find out that you… -Shh!

…watered down the milk.

And you'd better get used to sleeping on the couch.

All right, I'll sell you the plant. I will. I will.

But it won't be cheap.

-It will be! -Honey, no. Honey, please don't.

Okay just…

Bravo!

All right.

It'll be within reason.

Family meeting time.

Come, Misia. You sit down here.

- Sit. - Okay then?

A second mortgage?

I can't get another job.

You? No. But your wife?

Easily.

Even…

if it's cheap, it's still not gonna be free.

Then maybe we should all try and chip in.

Yeah, that'd good. I can't buy it on my own.

So, what was that, "I'll pay, I'll pay."

I will, but just a little.

We're all in the same boat here.

Yeah, but it kind of seems like some of us are in it,

and others are underwater.

-What are you talking about? -Hey, stop it.

This is no time for fighting.

Hey, how about, uh, crowdfunding?

Okay, let's just calm down.

Enough with your dumb ideas.

Stop it, Mirek.

-We'll work through this together. -Not this time.

If you ask me, not this time.

Unless there's some ancestral spirit watching over us.

Only a miracle can save us now.

It's Szyszko.

Everything's all right.

It's gonna be okay.

Mom, just trust me. These are really good people.

And nobody's forcing us to marry against our will.

It's what we wanted. We really love each other.

Well, what am I supposed to make of this?

What I thought was a wedding turned out to be, what?

Uh, an event on behalf of the dairy?

I can't keep up.

-Mm. Mm-mm. -Cut it out.

What?

Mm. I'm stunned.

- My dad is shocked. - Mm.

Well, I don't blame him.

I mean, not because of the wedding. Because of the cheese.

This is just divine.

Eh? Wonderful!

-Hmm? -Mm.

- Mm. - Mm.

Mm. This one really is especially good.

Mm.

Uh, tell your dad that this is our local product.

Please take me cheese factory.

Hold on. We need to talk things through with Miłosz first.

Son. My daughter.

Come on.

And?

Mm.

Mm?

Mmm.

Super?

- Listen, I have a feeling. - Come here.

- I have a feeling. - Yes!

And?

- We got it! - We got it!

We got it!

- We got an investor! - We got an investor!

- We've got an investor! - Szyszko!

We got an investor!

-Szyszko! -Forget about Szyszko.

Viens, viens.

My husband and I

would like to become investors in your dairy.

Huh?

It's small, but it's good.

- Yes? - Miłosz says it's worth it.

You've got something special here,

-and it'd be a shame for us to lose it. -Yup.

-But it's… -You're right.

Regina.

This is not a loan,

but an investment.

And a wedding present.

And as Pierre says,

"You want to have the wedding, here in this barbaric country? So be it."

C'est la vie!

Even though there wasn't a proper wedding?

Oh, but there will be!

- There definitely will be. - Bravo!

- Yes! - Yes!

But, honestly…

Black people handling milk?

-Here? -Shut up!

What if the world finds out…

So what if the world finds out, Jeremi?

What does anyone even know about us?

They know John Paul II and Wałęsa.

-They know about Lewandowski. -Mm-hmm. Stop it.

Come on, man. They also know that 0.4% BAC kills most people…

-Stop it. -…but we drink that for breakfast.

Not only that, they know we like to wear socks with sandals.

That's how they see us.

Am I right?

- You are. - Whatever! We're all equal.

There's no judgement here.

We love each other. The end.

-Everyone wants to stick labels… -Stop it.

…on everyone else.

And they label you too, you know.

-What kind of label? -You don't want to know.

Precisely.

So then…

My son, my daughter…

-Bon voyage! -Bon voyage!

- Bon voyage! Bravo! - Aww!

Gajda, pour it up.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

- To the young couple! - Cheers!

Santé

Mm.

Come on, come on.

- Let me fix this. - Right here.

- Are you watching? - Yes!

Put it here.

Looks good, right?

- He's coming! - He is? He's coming!

-He's coming! Put it down. -The folder.

He's coming.

- Good. That's good. - Line up.

Open the door.

It won't open.

It got stuck.

-Hello. -Hello. Go ahead.

Welcome. Good to see you. Thanks for coming.

-Hello. -This way.

Ah! I'll pour some water.

- Regina. - It's fresh from the tap.

- Regina. - Here.

Here you go.

But…

We've got it.

Here you go.

That's great!

-It's done! -It's done!

Bravo!

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

- Thank you very much, sir. - Yes.

-Thank you. -Sure, of course. This is what you want?

-Very much so. -Yeah?

Very, very much.

-Your loss. -Gajda Albert!

- Congratulations. - Yes.

-We really did it. -Yes!

Yes.

You'll stay with him?

Some days, I want to chop him up into little pieces.

-On other days… -I want to put them back together for him.

-Mm-hmm. -I know.

- Watch out for the birdie. - Got it?

He's gonna buy me a wedding planning company.

Attagirl!

Cheese!

Everyone, please, please…

-That's enough. -Bravo!

Can we go?

Good luck to you.

-Don't let it burn down. -Mm-hmm.

Will you manage us?

I'm gonna try.

- He signed it. - Hey!

- Gajda, take this. - Hey, who's this now?

What's going on? Is there a problem?

You You can't park there.

It's private.

-Tomek. -Get back here.

We're looking for a brave woman who posted video on the internet.

- What? - What's he saying?

They're looking for our women.

Okay, just relax.

-You'll have to fight us all first! -Yeah!

But we saw you do the cheese rolling race.

We run a chain of dairies.

We came to sign an exclusive contract for your cheese.

Together, we will conquer the world!

You've struck gold here!

My name's Rysiek.

- Mirek! Hi. - Hi.

- Rysiek. - Hi, Rysiek. Hanka.

-Hi, I'm Maja. -Nice to meet you.

- Gajda. - Hanka.

This is Jeremi.

Albert Gajda.

- We did it, darling. - Well, Dad?

- Hi. Miłosz. - Hi.

I can't believe this would actually work.

-Nice to meet you. -Thank you.

- Hi. Miłosz. - Nice to meet you.

Miłosz.

-Hi. -Regina, hello.

- You too, you too. - Gajda.

-We really did it! -You were so right!

- He's Gajda too. - No way!

Takes after you.

Bravo!

He's Gajda, too.

- We did it. - Good. Good.