Original subtitles

Previously on Criminal Minds.

Yesterday while we were in Florida, a body was found in the desert

outside Las Cruces, New Mexico.

A man had his leg amputated

and replaced with the leg of someone else.

Someone's out there mimicking the crimes we've solved.

This is now an active case,

which we'll be investigating along with our other cases.

Hello. I'm still here.

Zugzwang.

It's a chess term.

It describes the point in a game

when a player realizes he'll inevitably be checkmated.

Guess what just came to the reception desk

for an Agent Jennifer Jareau.

"Zugzwang." -Who sent it?

They knew you would be at that phone booth,

which means they were stalking you.

Or us. What if this is The Replicator?

The original zugzwang taunt was directed at me.

If it's directed at one of us, it's directed at us all.

He's committed three murders in three different states.

If The Replicator's still out there, then this whole thing's

part of a bigger manipulation.

First he was chasing us, now it's our turn to chase him.

This doesn't make any sense.

How the hell did he get so much access?

Thank you. -

Winslow, Arizona P.D.

Statewide system security check reports no breaches.

They were the last.

If The Replicator isn't hacking in,

how is he learning details of these crimes?

Maybe it's a journalist.

They're skilled at obtaining confidential information.

But why not help out his career in the process?

The media didn't know that Adam Rain was making human marionettes,

but somehow The Replicator did.

He's been watching us for months.

Maybe we were the only source he needed.

That would require him to be in two places at the same time.

I've assembled an accurate timetable

of the UnSub's stalking and murder activities,

and based on the estimated time of death

regarding our amputated replication,

the UnSub wasn't stalking us during the investigation

of the Whitewood-Turner crimes in Miami

because he was dumping his victim in New Mexico.

Yet, he was still back in D.C.

in time to see me hit my game-winning home run

against the Secret Service.

Baby girl, this the best you got?

I'm blowing it up as much as I can.

What about this?

Look at the reflection in Blake's glasses.

It's grainy, but it looks like some creep taking pictures.

We've got all of this

and the best we can tell is this guy has a blue baseball cap.

I know and I'm sorry. I promise I will be home before you guys wake up.

The sooner we get this guy,

the sooner the security detail can go away.

Okay. Well, we're trying.

I love you.

Erin, what are you doing here so late?

I had a meeting with the director.

I thought we were going to brief him in the morning.

You were. He canceled.

You have no fresh leads.

He wants The Replicator classified inactive.

All due respect, but this guy's hardly inactive.

He's planning his next move.

When he makes that move, you'll be there to stop him.

How many times have you told me

that sometimes the best thing to do is wait,

each crime teaches you something new?

The Replicator is dormant. You're not learning anything new.

All you're doing is working yourselves to death

and ignoring the cases that need your attention.

He's stalking this team. No one's gonna give it up.

I know that. And neither will I.

The cases are piling up and they need to be cleared

so the director no longer thinks that his best unit is dropping the ball.

So, go home.

Start fresh tomorrow.

I hate to admit it, but she's right.

I'm sure there's some other psychopath out there planning his next attack.

00.

Will, change of plans.

SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA

Hey.

Hey. Hey, Nikki.

Nikki, come on.

Where are you going?

I can't do this anymore. It's never just one drink.

-Oh, come on. -I'm tired of this.

All right. Fine.

Give me a second to close up and we'll head home.

I'm going home alone.

-You're not going anywhere. -This conversation is over.

-Let go of me! -I'm not gonna lose you.

-Let her go, John. -Who the hell are you?

Get off me.

You got two choices.

You can leave or I can beat the hell out of you now.

Okay. Okay!

You know what? You're not worth it.

You want her so bad, you can have her.

Walk away, John.

Thank you.

-You all right? -I'm fine. I just want to go home.

You shouldn't put up with that.

He's not normally like this. He just...

Had too much to drink.

It's nice to finally meet you, Nicole.

How do you know my name?

What are you doing? Stop it!

I almost knocked you...

-Sam? -Penelope.

-What are you doing in my hood? -Three-day seminar.

I decided to skip the schmoozing over breakfast.

Yeah, you never did have much patience for small talk.

-Do you need a hand? -Ah.

Sam, this is Kevin. We work together.

Kevin, this is Sam. We went on a couple of dates.

It was more than a couple of dates.

Nice to meet you.

So how are the ukulele lessons going?

Ukulele lessons?

-Two months strong. -Two months strong?

You'll have to give me a concert sometime.

Medium latte, light foam, extra soy.

-Uh-huh, that's you. -Good memory.

Listen, we should catch up.

-Uh-huh, we should. -Perfect.

-Nice to meet you, Kenneth. -Kevin.

Did you know that soy milk contains high levels of phytoestrogen,

which mimics the functions of estrogen inside humans?

I'm just saying he's gonna have moobs.

-What are moobs? -Man boobs.

-Go ahead, Garcia. -Yes, sir. Okay.

So, over the past couple of days,

two women have been found murdered with their tongues removed

in St. Paul, Minnesota.

The first is Patricia Moore.

She was found at a local park by a couple of joggers.

Then a few hours ago Nicole Francis,

she was found in a parking lot of a local restaurant.

Both women died from multiple stab wounds.

Had they been reported missing?

No. Local P.D. were the ones who initially informed the families.

The MO is specific. Anything on ViCAP?

Nothing yet, but I'm still searching.

He definitely wasn't trying to hide the bodies.

They were left in public places.

Either he wanted them found quickly

or he's all about the act and not the clean-up.

-Any witnesses? -Yeah, sort of.

Nicole was last seen at the restaurant with her boyfriend John Butler.

They had some sort of icky spat.

Then he's on the short list.

No, he isn't. He actually has a solid alibi. Uh, liquid.

He was drinking at the bar all night.

Right after he left, local P.D. picked him up

for public intoxication and they're holding him,

but it's just until he sobers up.

Okay, it takes a lot of strength to rip out someone's tongue.

It's one of the strongest muscles in the body.

The M.E. is still trying to determine

whether it was done ante or postmortem.

According to Chinese mythology,

one of the most dreadful punishments in the 18 levels of hell

involves having one's tongue ripped out.

It's considered to be one of the most horrific forms of torture.

It's also symbolic, used to punish liars and anti-regime activists.

The very nature of the MO is overkill.

We can't rule out a personal vendetta.

These women may have had something on this UnSub

and he wanted to make sure they didn't live to talk about it.

Wheels up in 30.

"Laurel loves to play hard-to-get.

"But I knew at night she'd leave that one window open...

"Just for me.

"It was her special invitation to come and play...

"Our very own game...

"Of hide and seek.

"She wanted me to find her.

- -"And once I did...

"I was never going to let her go."

Barbara Grizzuti Harrison once said,

"All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination."

The preliminary toxicology report suggests neither woman was drugged.

No sign of a struggle or that he used restraints.

Both women suffered solid blows to the head.

Probably how he subdued them.

Neither victim showed signs of sexual assault.

-Maybe he's impotent. -Or sadistic.

The stabbing could be what's getting him off.

I have looked into the victims.

The only thing they have in common are the same zip code.

They have different occupations, interests, hobbies.

Patricia was a Pilates instructor, and Nicole was a legal assistant.

Both were low-risk.

He could be picking them at random.

If his primary motive is to kill,

it explains why he didn't take either of his victims to a secondary location.

Why take such a huge risk?

Both crime scenes have foot traffic.

Someone could've interrupted him.

Oh, boy. Local P.D. just discovered two bodies.

Laurel Tyson, 25, and her brother Daryl, 28.

They were stabbed to death inside her house.

Attacking in the home hasn't been his MO.

Up until now they've been in public places.

Two attacks on three victims in one night.

This is the first time he's killed a male.

Is this turning into a spree?

Garcia, were their tongues missing?

Laurel's was. Daryl's was still intact.

If this is a spree, why is he taking time to collect souvenirs?

Garcia, expand your ViCAP search nationwide.

The ritual of the tongue extraction seems to be what matters most to him.

Detective Boseman. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for having us. I'm Dr. Reid. This is Agent Morgan.

Nice to meet you. According to neighbors,

somebody noticed an open window this morning

and alerted authorities.

Nothing violates one's sense of security

more than being attacked in their own home.

Why didn't the alarm trigger when the window was opened?

Good question.

-Maybe he knew what he was doing. -

Excuse me.

Hey, give it to me good, baby girl.

Unfortunately, I have daily coffee receipts

and weekly Thai orders.

Laurel didn't get out much.

She worked from home as a telemarketer,

spent a lot of time surfing the web.

Her recent splurge was a last-minute plane ticket for her brother.

Garcia, when did Laurel have the alarm installed?

Two weeks ago.

She lived here three years

and didn't feel the urge to install an alarm till now.

-Thanks, mama. -Mmm-hmm.

Maybe she flew him out here because she was scared.

Having her brother around would make her feel protected.

If Laurel was the target,

then Daryl's presence would've come as a surprise to the UnSub.

Making him a victim of circumstance.

How did he learn about three separate women

that lived three completely different lives?

Your report mentioned you found rust fragments in the victims' stomachs.

Have you determined if they were from the knife?

-Either that or from the other object. -Other object?

The assailant used two weapons,

one to grip and the knife to sever the tongue.

Something like pliers.

Well, that's new, isn't it?

She was the only one with this type of bruising.

I'm still doing tissue samples.

All three women had copious amounts of blood

in both their lungs and their stomachs.

They were alive when their tongues were cut out.

I'm really sorry about Nicole.

Can you tell me what you remember from last night?

Nicole got a raise a few days ago.

I wanted to take her out to celebrate.

We started drinking, me more than her.

Sometimes people over drink in an attempt to mask their pain.

Were you and Nicole having relationship problems?

We hadn't been on the same page for a while.

She'd just gotten a great promotion and I was laid off a few months back.

Is that why you decided to move in together last month?

In theory it was a perfect idea.

Till the issue of money came up.

Was that how the argument started last night?

She complained about how much I was drinking.

She stormed out of the restaurant.

Hey, Nikki.

I followed her into the parking lot.

Nikki, come on.

And the next thing I know, some guy is slamming me into the car.

Get off me!

Do you think you could describe him

I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight.

It's my fault.

I never should have left her out there.

You want her so bad, you can have her.

I figured he was someone she knew.

Why would you think that?

Walk away, John.

Because he knew my name.

Go ahead, Garcia.

I did premium spelunking on these three women

and they were super duper active online,

chat rooms, blog, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, you name it.

That could be how the UnSub knew about John Butler.

Patricia was on multiple dating sites.

And Laurel?GARCIA: Laurel.

She had a blog

that makes Fifty Shades of Greyread like a children's book.

It sounds like that's how he knew these women.

Thanks, Garcia.

Is that work-related or personal?

Hello! Peter, I asked you a question.

Is that personal or work-related?

-Is everything all right

Are you coming to the staff potluck tomorrow?

Yeah, I'll be there.

-Sure you're okay? -Fine.

Anything?

These women practically lived online.

Their posts went up five, six times an hour.

"Brian used his own toilet for the first time today."

All right, cut her some slack. She's excited. Her son is potty-trained.

Brian is her cocker spaniel.

14, Nicole posted a status update

saying she's waiting for somebody to rescue her

from a loveless relationship.

I assume she's referring to her and John.

On 1-8, Patricia tweeted,

quote, "Saw one of the most beautiful oak trees in the park.

"I wish I could just take a nap under it like I did when I was a little girl."

End quote.

On 2-18, Laurel posted on her personal blog

about how much she likes pain.

She describes it as, "The best foreplay."

Then on 2-21, again Laurel posts,

talking about a fantasy where someone climbs through the window

and ravishes her with bondage.

That's exactly how the UnSub entered her house,

through the living room window.

Laurel was the only one with ligature marks.

He knew she was into S&M.

Technically, the UnSub rescued Nicole

from the argument with her boyfriend.

He whisked her away.

The first victim, Patricia, was found in a local park under a tree.

So these women unknowingly described their own murders.

This guy targeted these women through their online activity?

In the UnSub's mind, their posts created a connection to him,

which led to the initial stalking.

That tells us he's most likely socially awkward.

His online surveillance allowed him to build confidence over time.

It's likely these women don't know what the UnSub looks like,

making it possible for him to interact

without revealing his true identity.

What his victims considered pure fantasy,

the UnSub interpreted as literal and open invitation.

That compulsion is specific to his psychopathology.

If he's getting these readings on the web,

his next inspiration could come from anywhere.

"Kayla ignored me, pretended like I wasn't even there.

"Time after time she'd walk by me...

"Never acknowledging my presence.

"Did she even know I existed?

"She was going to learn tonight.

"No matter what,

"she was finally going to see me."

No!

"And I wanted to make sure

-"that my face...-

"Was the last one...

"She'd ever see."

The victim was Kayla Jefferson, 19, local college student.

She lives on the third floor. A neighbor discovered her body.

His ritual remained the same,

even though his MO changed from stabbing to strangulation.

We'll have Garcia check her Internet history.

Why didn't he kill her the same way he killed the others?

He must have been inspired by a new fantasy.

We're ready to deliver the profile.

We're looking for fit, aggressive Caucasian male in his mid-to-late 30s.

He's practicing what's called vicarious fantasy assimilation.

This refers to the cathartic release that comes

when he turns someone else's thoughts or fantasies into reality.

He trolls the Internet, selecting women with a strong online presence

who frequently post their fantasies with descriptive detail.

There are two levels to his MO,

the first being the enjoyment he gets from taking one of his victim's fantasies

and turning it into a nightmare.

Once he establishes dominance by subverting that fantasy,

then he moves on to step two, removing the tongue.

His MO is polymorphic. It's taken on different forms.

However, his ritual never changes.

-I am so sorry. -It's okay.

It's likely that there are other women he's already targeted,

so be vigilant if there are any reports of suspicious behavior.

Thank you.

This is Alicia Danner reporting live to you

from outside the 13th Street apartment building,

where the body of a local college student

has just been identified as Kayla Jefferson.

Police are releasing the names and photos of the other four victims...

-No, no, no.-...brutally murdered

during the recent strain of attacks.

The FBI is asking anyone with information about this case

to contact the taskforce hotline shown on your screen.

Patricia, Nicole, Laurel,

those are my girls. These are my stories.

My stories.

So, Sam, he seemed like a nice guy.

Yeah. He is.

-Ricky D. He was a nice guy, too. -Who's Ricky D.?

My college roommate.

Drank coffee from sunup to sundown.

Spent four years with the guy,

and I never once remembered how he took his coffee.

You lost me at Ricky.

I thought you said you guys went on a couple dates.

That's what this is about, what Sam puts in his coffee?

Might I remind you that whose coffee order I memorize

is no longer any of your business.

-I just thought... -

You and I will finish this later.

Yeah.

So Kayla was not at all into modern technology.

She didn't even own a computer,

so that means there's no Facebook, no Twitter, no blogs, no nothing.

She never even activated her college email account.

If she doesn't fit his pattern, how did he know about her?

Good question, chocolate thunder.

I did a search on Kayla's name and she had a scary admirer.

What do you mean?

A 16-year-old boy named Tyler Rogers

dedicated a blog to her.

He had a lot of interesting things to say on it.

He lived in the same apartment building as Kayla.

Yeah.

He was institutionalized early January for attacking his mother.

That can't be our guy. He's been locked up for months.

We should still talk to him. He might give us something.

Let's get Reid on it.

Thanks, Garcia.

ST. ANN'S MENTAL INSTITUTION

"My fingers tightened around her throat.

"I could feel her heartbeat pulsing under my fingertips."

When did you write this?

14 p.m.

Did Kayla do something to upset you?

She ignored me.

Again.

That made you want to kill her?

You're funny.

Your move.

Tyler, Kayla is dead.

Someone took one of the stories you wrote and made it real.

Was there a lot of blood?

Your blog went into great detail about how you wanted to kill her.

Now, I need to know, did you discuss this with anyone?

With people on Story Swap, yeah.

So Story Swap allows you to download stories from other people.

Are they all about murder?

Most of them.

But, you know, there was something for everyone.

Rape and torture...

Thanks for your help.

Do you have any pictures of Kayla's body?

I just want to... I just want to see what he did to her.

Unfortunately, Tyler's still struggling,

but a number of clinical studies have proven

that a person experiences the same neurochemical release

from the simple act of documenting a fantasy or a violent act.

No offense, Dr. Houston,

but isn't this therapy intended to help traumatized victims,

not perpetrators?

While writing therapy as applied to offenders

may be somewhat controversial,

it's proven to be very effective if done properly.

What do you mean by properly?

Well, I believe there are two phases to this type of treatment.

Having the patient document the fantasy,

then having them acknowledge the shame and the guilt.

If this treatment is so important to you, why did you take your name off it?

I cut ties when I learned many of the facilities

weren't implementing the second phase.

What were they doing instead?

They were allowing the patients to focus on their fantasies

without discussing the root of the problem.

Was Tyler able to give you anything?

It turns out he was part of an online community

that exchanged psychopathic stories while remaining anonymous.

It's where the UnSub learned about Kayla, from Tyler's posts.

Which explains the switch in MO.

Tyler was fixated on strangulation.

Where's the UnSub gonna get his material for his next kill?

All the victims used different platforms.

Writing seems to be the only common denominator.

Guys, what if he created his own writing group?

Dr. Houston's spoken all over the country.

He could've attended a conference or read about his form of therapy.

And adapted it to fit his needs.

Instead of working the steps, he's focused on one thing,

acting out homicidal stories.

And a vivid description of the blood, how it felt.

I can tell you dug deep for this one.

Thank you, Tina.

I believe we have time for one more story.

I've got one.

The title of this one is "Betrayed."

"I never knew someone I trusted

"would hurt me so deeply.

"Tonight I'm going to make him pay

"for stealing what I valued most."

Keep reading.

You haven't gotten to the best part.

What I don't understand is why this guy's removing all the tongues.

Well, the tongues symbolize the telling of tales.

In his mind they're trophies.

By taking them, he was able to claim possession

of stories that weren't his own.

It's likely the others in the group aren't aware of what he's doing.

With the specificity of these crimes,

it's a matter of time before people put the pieces together.

-Thank you. -Thank you very much.

Good night, guys. See you next week.

So what'd you think?

We're getting a lot of calls,

but so far none of the leads are panning out.

Go ahead, baby girl. Talk to me.

I got a hit on ViCAP. Three, one-offs, actually.

Tampa, Atlanta, Charlotte.

Three women in the last two years who've all had their,

it never gets less disgusting to say, tongues removed.

So this isn't the first time he's done this.

This is not his first creepy rodeo.

Nope, according to my digging,

one of the first talks that Dr. Houston gave

was at an anonymous call center in Tampa

where a man named Mark Jackson was working,

who mysteriously went AWOL a few days later.

Shortly thereafter, tongueless bodies start showing up.

-Guess where he lives now. -St. Paul. Got a local address?

Of course I do. I have home

and a place where he teaches a writing group every Wednesday.

Thank you, mama.

Why did you stop? Come on, I want feedback.

I'll have notes next week, Peter.

Oh, come on, Mark. Now is not the time to be shy.

I'd rather not.

What is it you'd like to say? Speak and be heard.

So please continue.

Is something wrong?

You plagiarized my work. That's what's wrong.

For three months I confided in you.

-I told you everything. -Listen to me.

You told me if I wrote about my fantasies,

they would go away. Instead you just took them from me.

I said that it would help suppress...

No. No.

All you really wanted was to take what was in my head for yourself.

Excuse me?

Let's get one thing straight.

You are weak.

What I did, you could never do yourself.

Was she going to be next?

-Who? -Tammy.

Was she next?

Answer me.

I can't let you have her. That one's special.

She was gonna meet with me.

-Peter... -She makes me feel normal.

We have a real connection.

Now you want to take her away from me?

You should be honored that I chose your stories.

I did everything that you described,

down to the smallest detail.

Uh-huh, I see.

And that's where you're wrong.

What are you talking about?

There's one detail you got wrong.

I never cared about the tongue.

That was you.

Clear! ROSSI: Clear!

He's not here.

It's Mark Jackson. It's definitely our guy,

but somebody got to him before we could.

Hotch, we never profiled a second UnSub.

We didn't have one until now.

We got guys canvassing the area for witnesses,

but whoever did this to Mark didn't hold back.

Thanks.

That had to be personal.

No one walks around carrying that type of rage.

This kill doesn't show the same confidence

that Mark showed with his previous victims.

Mark could be his first kill.

It most likely won't be his last.

Thanks, Garcia.

Well, she figured out what made Mark tick.

When he was 10, he confessed to his mother

that her boyfriend had been abusing him.

Mmm-hmm. Let me guess. When Child Protective Services arrived,

she changed her story.

Told them Mark made the whole thing up.

It explains the tongues. He viewed all women as liars.

It looks like he documented every attack.

Mmm-hmm. The semantics in these two writings are markedly different.

They were all composed by different authors.

Call First CRISIS HOTLINE

Call First. Whom am I speaking with this evening?

My name is Peter.

Hi, Peter. How can I help you?

Ah, I'm not sure where to start.

Start wherever is most comfortable.

I feel I'm at a crossroads.

The point in my life where...

I'm faced with some tough decisions.

The kind that once you commit, you can never go back.

Making a choice can be stressful for anyone.

I just...

Need something to point me in the right direction.

-I understand.-

We all experience moments where we need clarity in life.

It's important you understand it's something that everyone goes through.

-Hello -

Let me get this straight. Mark encouraged his group members

-to go after these women? -Not exactly.

He wanted them to document

their violent thoughts and emotions down to the last detail.

He used those as blueprints for his kills.

We think our new UnSub was in the group.

When he discovered what Mark had done, he unraveled.

And now that he's given in to his urges, he may want to kill again.

"Pat in the Park. Nicole's Knight. Laurel's Open Window."

-Sound familiar? -Those were the first three victims.

They were all written by someone named Peter.

His recent story is about

saving a woman named Tammy from drowning in a lake.

It's 30 degrees outside. They'd freeze to death.

Sir, yes, sir.

Garcia, what's the name of the organization

-where Mark volunteered? -Call First.

Check their phone records for the days Mark worked,

for calls that came in from someone named Peter.

This is a crazy popular hotline.

They get a ton of calls, I've got half a dozen Peters.

Any of them call multiple times?

Let me see. Mmm...

Here's one. Peter Harper. It's like Mark initially took the call.

The last time Peter called the hotline was...

Less than an hour ago.

Where would Peter Harper be now?

Rosewood, just outside of St. Paul.

-That's gotta be him. -Where is he taking Tammy?

It's like she's a swimmer.

Water is crucial to Peter's fantasy.

Hey, there's a community center nearby.

I'm sending you the digits now.

Thanks, Garcia.

Somebody help!

Please?

Hello

Who are you?

What am I doing here?

God, you're even more beautiful up close.

Don't touch me.

Who are you?

It's me, Peter.

-Oh, my God. -

Why are you doing this?

I need your help with something

I've been struggling with for a while now.

What is it?

I need you to convince me not to kill you.

Please tell me why you're doing this.

I had to protect you from him.

What

It doesn't matter anymore. He's gone now.

- -Don't cry.

Do you know how long I've waited for this moment?

Mmm.

I wrote something for you.

"If she only knew how special she was,

"how she made me feel human for the first time.

"But...

"If she knew about the secret thoughts I had,

"would she stay?"

What do you think?

You need help.

Peter, I can be there for you.

I know the moment I untie you, you'll leave.

I already lost someone today. I can't lose you, too.

You have my word.

God, I wish I believed you.

No, no, no.

I couldn't have written this any better.

Peter Harper, FBI! Don't move!

Drop the knife, Peter!

I can't.

I'm going in.

Mark was a liar and a thief and I made him pay.

Peter, I know he betrayed your trust.

Just put the knife down and we can talk about this.

You don't know what it's like...

The thoughts and the images that won't go away.

This is my only option.

Peter, that's not true. Listen, I know exactly what it's like.

Now is the part where I'm supposed to lie to you,

tell you that everything's gonna be okay

and that we can somehow help you,

but the fact of the matter is, I don't know if we can.

There might not be any form of therapy that ever takes these urges away.

Spence, what are you doing?

But that doesn't mean you stop trying.

Peter, no matter what happens, you have to keep trying.

I know it's not what you want to hear,

but at least it's the truth.

I appreciate your honesty.

Oscar Wilde said,

"I can resist anything except temptation."

Reid. I just finished the case file.

I talked to Morgan and JJ.

I wanted to talk to you about what happened.

The hostage was clear and I made a tactical decision

to tell the UnSub the truth about his condition.

And what did you think that would accomplish?

Hotch, I thought the last time I was in a situation like this,

I did what I was supposed to.

I told a perfect lie and that didn't work,

so this time, in the hopes of saving someone,

I tried something different.

And this didn't work.

Sadly, no.

To me, this is very clearly about Maeve.

I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier.

No. No, no, no. Please, please don't apologize.

That was all me. I was being really snappy.

I just...

I never knew you were taking ukulele lessons.

Yeah. It's number 32 on my

"I don't want to call it a bucket list" bucket list.

You know, I never thought we'd be here.

When you break up with someone, there's that fantasy

that you can stay friends, which I guess is a fantasy.

Penelope, I want to be friends.

So do I. But can you handle it?

Because friends support each other and their relationships,

and so far I have seen you now date Gina, Lisa,

Mindy, Leslie, Shannon, Gina again.

-I get it. -I mean...

It's not easy for me, but I want you to be happy.

Same here.

Okay. Okay, I gotta go.

Hey. By the way,

Gina liked the bracelet you helped me pick out.

Well, I do know jewelry.

-I'll see you tomorrow. -Bright and early.

I don't know how much longer I can contain the crowd.

-Thank you. - Penelope, Penelope...

Okay.

Tonight's premiere performance will be my rendition

of Old MacDonald Had A Farm.

Hold on.