Original subtitles

- Hi, uh, my name's Maya and I'm an addict.

- [Crowd] Hi, Maya.

- I'm here to take a 30-day chip.

(audience applauding) (dramatic music)

Some of you probably remember me up here a few weeks ago,

taking a one-year chip, but I kind of messed up.

Actually, not kind of.

I had a slip.

And I gotta say this one month has felt 10 times as long

as the year before that.

My sponsor says it's because I'm actually facing

all my addictions for the first time,

which is not so fun. (laughs)

I mean, there are one or two addictions

that I'd like to hang on to.

So here I am, grateful for a second chance,

grateful to my higher power, whatever that is,

and grateful that I've got good people watching my back,

like my little brother.

But I'm especially grateful for my new sponsor.

I wanted pity.

I wanted to play games.

I wanted somebody's permission to go on killing myself,

and you didn't give me any of that.

Thank you.

And thanks for being here tonight,

so I don't have to feel like the only idiot

who's so excited about getting a plastic chip. (laughs)

(audience laughing) (audience applauding)

(phone ringing) (audience cheering)

- [Gloria] Hi, I am Gloria, and I'm an addict.

- Yeah.

- [Crowd] Hi, Gloria.

- [Beelzebub] Did you catch the part

about giving up all her addictions?

Sounds like you've got another century

of celibacy coming up.

- Look, if you want to chat,

why don't you call the suicide hotline.

Maybe they can give you some pointers.

- [Gloria] That has kept me.

- [Beelzebub] Would you love me better

if I got into recovery?

Hi, I'm Beelzebub, and I'm addicted to taking your soul.

- If you don't have a name for me, I'm hanging up.

- [Beelzebub] Oh, I do have one,

but I'm afraid it's a first name only.

After all, I have to protect Gloria's anonymity.

(somber music)

- Thank you for letting me be of service,

and thank you for this 10-year chip.

(audience applauding) (audience cheering)

(dramatic music) (singer vocalizing)

(dramatic music continues) (singer vocalizing)

- [Ty] You did good.

- Thanks, Ty. Thanks for coming.

- Yeah.

Well, somebody from your family's gotta represent, right?

So does this mean she's graduating?

- What do you mean?

- Well, she's been here 10 years.

She's gotta be done.

I mean, it's not like you gotta come

to these things for the rest of your life.

Is it?

- Gloria, we need to talk.

- No, we don't. I know who you are.

If you've got issues with Maya, they're your issues.

- This isn't about Maya.

This is about how you're gonna spend

the last 48 hours of your deal.

- You knew her before I did.

Were you just messing with her to set me up?

- I think we've both been set up, but I want to help you.

Let's get outta here.

(dramatic music) (people chattering)

- Now, I know it's not up to your standards of tidiness,

but this is my technique.

You grab, you stack and you toss.

Voila. Voila, begone.

Come on, Gabe.

Work with me just for tonight.

Stay on our planet just for one night.

We'll have some company over and we'll feed them.

We'll talk.

(eerie whooshing music)

So what are you gonna make for dinner?

(mysterious music)

- [Morgan] This is where you made your deal.

- I had to show you so you'd understand.

Going to hell 10 years down the road didn't worry me.

I was in hell.

All I wanted was out and I got it. (gasps)

(occupant groaning)

Sorry, I didn't see you.

(occupant and Morgan groaning)

Are you okay?

My god. She could be infected.

(dramatic music)

- She is.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

Why don't you tell me about your deal.

(dark tense music)

- I was in love.

We did everything together as long as it was shooting up.

We scored some stuff called The Golden Sunset

that was supposed to be unbelievable.

I loved him so much, I let him go first.

That was love.

So guys, come on.

It's taking so long. (shuddering)

(somber music)

(Gloria gasps) (body thuds)

(somber music) (Gloria sobs)

Lucas, Lucas, honey?

(speaking in foreign language) Lucas.

(Gloria sobbing) (somber music)

I just wanted to die like Lucas, to have it be over.

That's when he came to me.

(Gloria sobbing)

- You don't wanna do that, baby.

Don't you see?

This is your chance to walk away.

All you need is a little help.

- He told me I could escape that hell on earth for 10 years.

Do good things, help people.

I knew he was no angel, but it was a way out.

The only way out.

- Let's get outta here.

- I need you to understand. I don't regret it.

I've spent the last 10 years helping other addicts.

People I've sponsored have experienced miracles.

- The people you've sponsored

were supposed to be learning by an example.

What kind of example is this?

- Hey, it works if you work it.

I worked it my way and it worked.

Tell me you'd be interested in Maya

if she was some skanky street whore with AIDS.

- Maya was fighting it a long time before she met you.

- Yeah. Fighting and failing.

Nobody can do it without some kind of help,

but he wasn't some white hair old man in disguise

who helped Maya.

I did it.

The devil did it.

- (scoffs) So what's your point? God and the devil?

One higher power is as good as another

as long as it gets you off smack.

(phone ringing)

- [Gloria] Hey, Maya.

♪ Hiya, hiya, hiya, Maya ♪

♪ Funny you should call right now ♪

♪ Pretty soon I'll be on fire. ♪

♪ Less Morgan gets me off somehow ♪

- Maya has nothing to do with Gloria's deal.

Leave her out of this.

♪ I was the one who kept Maya from dying ♪

♪ In that alley where she was lying ♪

♪ You didn't know whether you'd be good together ♪

♪ You were united, shining leather ♪

♪ After that night, she was bound to try ♪

♪ Clean up her life, stop getting high ♪

♪ She went to those meetings ♪

♪ Got front row seating ♪

♪ For history, repeating itself ♪

- No, I won't let you draw her in.

I won't let you send another woman to hell because of me.

If I tell Maya to go away forever, will you leave her alone?

(door thudding)

- (speaking in foreign language) Everything all right?

- Yeah. I just.

Look, I'm, I'm probably making something outta nothing.

But I saw you leave the meeting.

- [Gloria] With Morgan, you mean?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, he followed me out.

I think he wanted to talk about you, but I blew him off.

Whatever he's gonna say, he can say to you, right?

- Yeah. Right.

Thanks.

- Yeah, no problem. Now, listen, I gotta run.

I'll talk to you later.

- Bye.

- [Morgan] Thank you.

- So what now?

- I think we're gonna have

to go see the people you sponsored.

- What? Why?

- Because their recovery is based on a lie. Your lie.

- They've stayed clean.

- All of them?

Is there one that you couldn't help?

- Just one.

The first one. A guy named Ronnie.

- You know where he lives?

- 10 years ago.

- That's where we'll start.

Okay, how about power joints?

You gotta love power joints, man and machine.

Wonderful. This is what we know.

They're power drawers. (imitating guns rattling)

No. (laughs)

Okay.

Uh, dinosaurs. Do you like dinosaurs?

- I told you you won't talk.

- But you can talk. Right?

So you're still preparing your opening monologue

and I bet you it's gonna be killer.

- He did sing a couple weeks ago. That was pretty cool.

- Rock on.

- Oh, what was the singing?

- [Taylor] Uh, that Kyprios song, "Ignorance is beautiful."

- Kyprios. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Isn't that that guy that went like totally mental?

- Yeah. Weird.

Actually, it was just after we saw him

at this live interview.

Come on, buddy. Join the party.

Okay. Who's drinking wine?

- Yeah. All night long.

- And some for, oh god. I'm sorry.

I totally wasn't thinking.

- I know it's hard to focus when old alchemy clash

over here is pouring on the charm.

- Wow.

Ow. Can you help me with this knife?

- I'll get him.

(throat clearing)

- You know, just 'cause you have a problem

doesn't mean it runs in the family.

(pensive music)

- I wish you'd teach me how to be quiet.

Now would you get in there?

I need your superior social skills.

(dramatic music)

(ominous music)

- I figured you rehab people all forgot about my brother.

In 10 years, you're the first one who's ever come looking.

- Can I see Ronnie?

- What exactly do you want with him?

- Gloria helped Ronnie when he was having some problems.

- Some problems? You don't have to be all dainty about it.

He's schizophrenic.

So what, were you like a counselor

at one of those hospitals?

- No, I met him in Narcotics Anonymous.

I was his sponsor.

- That's how you helped him. You got him off drugs?

- I tried, but he took off.

I don't know what happened to him.

- Well, you succeeded.

- If we could just talk to Ronnie.

- What did you think you were,

a fricking psychiatrist or something?

- No!

- He stopped taking drugs.

Oh yeah. Including his medication.

He stopped seeing his doctor.

He said he didn't need any of that anymore.

He said now he had the answers.

Oh baby, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Did we wake you?

- Ronnie?

Remember me? Gloria.

- Ronnie, we need to ask you some questions.

- Ask away.

You can talk to your blue in the face. He won't hear you.

He hasn't heard much of anything since he went off his meds.

That's when he decided to use our dad's drill

to give himself a home lobotomy.

(dramatic music)

Everything's been okay since then, right, Ronnie?

That's right. Come on.

(dark tense music)

(door thudding)

- You can't just run away.

- You want me to make amends with Ronnie?

There is no more Ronnie.

Why are you messing with me anyways?

You obviously hate me for lying to Maya.

- Look, you had a weakness.

The devil exploited it.

That doesn't mean you deserve to go to hell.

- No, the scars on that boy's forehead

mean I deserve to go to hell.

(phone ringing)

Don't worry, he's not here.

- Just leave it.

- Listen, I'll leave Maya alone,

but you cannot expect me to leave every junkie who needs me.

If I let them all go down now

I have nothing to show for this.

(phone ringing)

Yeah. Cindy, yeah.

All right.

Just hang on. I'm on my way.

I gotta go.

- Fine, but let me keep working.

Gimme the names of the other people you sponsored

at the beginning.

- No!

I mean, I can't, it's an anonymous program.

Do you know? I'll call you when I'm done.

(dark tense music)

(birds squawking) (ominous music)

- We partied together in high school.

Even though she was older, you know,

we were tight and it was fun at the time.

But now I look back and I'm like,

god, how could I have given her that joint?

You know? Was she shooting up back then too?

Anyway, she invites me out here

to stay with her for a while.

Right?

And I think cool, I can be like,

like a good influence or whatever,

but it's like I'm walking on eggshells around here.

I have to, I have to watch what I say. Watch what I do.

I have to, you know, censor my thoughts

so I don't psychically set her off with my brainwaves.

(dark tense music)

- Maya has lived here for years.

If she wanted to shoot up again,

she could find what she wanted in five minutes.

Watching you drink a glass of wine

is not gonna make herself destruct.

- Yeah, I guess.

I just want to help her, you know, protect her.

And I don't know how.

- Hey, suffering for your family is noble, right?

- [Ty] (laughs) I hope so.

- Yeah. Me too.

- God, I'm sorry, I, I only just met you.

I don't know why I'm bending your ear about this.

- I'm cute.

- (laughs) Yeah.

(dark tense music)

(Maya gasping)

(phone beeping)

- This is Gloria. Keep calling back.

It works if you work it.

- Gloria, are you okay?

Have you been getting my messages?

I'm worried about you.

Look, I'm, I'm gonna come over and check on you, so bye.

This is Maya. Okay, bye.

(footsteps tapping)

(door thudding) (dramatic suspenseful music)

(elevator dings)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(dramatic suspenseful music) (door thudding)

- Hi, is this Victor?

My name's Morgan Pym.

I wonder if I can talk to you about Gloria.

She goes to your Tuesday 7:30 meeting.

Morgan.

No, I'm not a member.

I'm just a friend of Gloria's.

No, I'm not a cop.

I'm just trying to, hello?

Hello.

(phone beeping)

(knuckles rapping)

- Hey, bad time? It's about Maya.

Thanks.

- Visiting.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Well, actually, I'm thinking of making the big move

to the left coast,

but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do.

You know, for Maya.

- I think it'd be good for her having you around.

- [Ty] Yeah?

- She needs somebody to look out for her.

- Oh, that's not gonna be you anymore?

Look, I, I'm not here to pry.

I have some things I need to make up for

from a long time ago,

but I don't know her as well as you do, I think.

And I don't wanna make things worse.

(phone ringing)

- Yeah.

- It's not working.

I tried talking to my sponsee, you know,

I said all the usual stuff, but it was just words.

She was looking at me

like I was some kind of stranger or something.

She said I wasn't helping her.

- Where are you?

- Pander near Needle Park.

I really wanna get high.

- Look, stay there. I'll pick you up.

(sirens wailing) (Gloria whimpering)

- Yeah, yeah. Maybe some other time.

- Sometimes trying to do the right thing

just makes things worse.

But you have to try.

(dark tense music)

(ominous music) (engine rumbling)

How bad is it?

- It's all coming back.

Like it never left, like the 10 years I escaped,

I'm feeling it all now.

I can't do this.

I'm not gonna make it.

(dark tense music)

(elevator dings)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait for me.

Thanks, doll.

Going up?

Oh, I prefer going down myself.

To each their own.

- Could you press three?

- My lucky number.

What's this?

(upbeat music)

- Unbelievable.

I can't believe they put music in this elevator.

- Come on. Oh, don't be shy.

Everyone should dance with me at least once.

- Sorry.

Wait, this isn't it!

(Gloria moaning)

- [Morgan] Hang on. We're almost there.

(door squeaking) (dramatic music)

(door thudding)

(hand thudding)

(elevator dings)

(dramatic music) (heartbeat thudding)

(Maya sighs)

(elevator dings)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(door thudding)

- What the hell is this?

- Maya, you need to go.

- Are you outta your mind? That's my sponsor.

My sponsor is shooting smack on your bed.

- It's right, Maya, you need to stay out of this.

- I don't know what's going on here.

I don't care what's going on here, but I'm getting-

- [Morgan] I can't let you do that.

- You can't let me?

- I'm trying to save her life.

- By getting her hooked again.

- She was going through withdrawals.

It's just to keep her functioning.

- Why are you lying to me?

- [Morgan] I'm not.

- She's been clean for 10 years.

People don't suddenly go into withdrawal after 10 years.

Tell me what this is about.

I can help.

- No, you can't.

- Maya, you're putting her in danger by being here.

You need to go.

- Back off!

I'm taking her right now.

And I swear to god, if you touch me,

I will smash every window and scream bloody murder

until every police cruiser in the city is outside.

Clear?

(somber music) (footsteps tapping)

- Oh lordy. This is better than my afternoon soaps.

So tragic yet so erotically charged.

- How did she know Gloria was here?

- If you think this was coincidental,

you should watch "One Life to Live."

- Why don't you move me?

- Pardon?

- To another city. You wanna punish me?

Fine. But don't put Maya in any more danger.

- Oh, now, now, dear boy,

things aren't always as they seem like this rig of mine.

You think I was going after the queers?

So moral these days, getting married and all.

I'm just after the people who accept me as me.

- I accepted you once.

That was my mistake.

But don't make it hers.

- Oh, the dramatic tension is killing me. Mwah.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

- Gabe, um, could we talk for a sec?

Or I'll talk and you can send up smoke signals or whatever,

uh, but I need to ask you about this.

Look, this isn't a drug lecture.

I don't think you're doing drugs

in the school bathroom or anything, are you?

No. No.

That's not what this is about, is it?

So what is it about?

Gabe, we can't keep doing this.

You are not six anymore.

You're, you're growing up

and the issues are just gonna get more complicated.

And we need to communicate.

I know things are going on inside your head,

but I can't know what they are and unless you tell me.

(thoughtful music)

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

Did this come from listening

to Maya talk about her, um, problem?

I know you hear things sometimes

and, and I know it's upsetting to think

that she's done these things.

She was sick.

But she's okay now, she's getting better.

(eerie music)

(Maya sighs) (Gabe panting)

(people chattering)

(somber music)

- Hey, lover.

Looking for a little afternoon delight.

- [Morgan] No. I came to talk.

- Call a 900 number.

- You tried to stab the woman

that was with me the night before last.

Is that because she got in your space

or because you recognized her.

- Nice weather we're having.

A little on the sticky side, but you know what they say?

It's not the heat. It's heroin.

Yeah, I know the bitch.

That's just what she is too. Stone cold bitch.

Skipped out on a dime, man.

- You're talking about her boyfriend Lucas.

He wasn't dead.

- I seen that bitch come run outta here,

all crying and everything.

So I went in, found Lucas there on his last breath,

gone to the hospital, saved his life.

We were tight after that.

Me and Milford, man.

- Lucas Milford.

He was the one who showed me how to shoot up, actually.

He also got me pregnant.

(somber music)

- Hold it just like that.

Slide it in slow, not too deep.

I pull it out slowly, slowly.

I say, baby, and I push it all in.

(quiet tense music)

(Maya sighing)

That's beautiful, baby. That's so beautiful.

(dramatic music)

- Drink this.

Gloria, you told me a million times

we're only as sick as our secrets.

What's going on with you and Morgan?

- He was trying to help me.

- Help you?

So he scores for you and lets you fix in his apartment.

- It's complicated.

- You told me that the program isn't easy, but it is simple.

- The program can't do anything for me now.

Just leave me alone.

(upbeat music)

- Get away from her door.

- Hmm. You'd think I'd get some color down in hell.

But the flames just seem to bake. Not broil.

Do you think it's wise talking to your client

about Lucas Milford?

- I think he's the key to all this.

- It's risky.

Lucas was catnip to all those skaggy whores down

on the East Side,

including both the young lovelies behind that door.

- Yes, I know.

You made Gloria think Lucas was dead

so she'd feel bad enough to make a deal with you.

But then you kept him alive

so he could go out and get Maya hooked.

- Oh, honey, you knew the rules when you took the job.

Tragic loner down through the ages, blah, blah, blah.

You're the one that brought Maya into your life.

Now you have to make a choice.

Drag her in deeper to try to save your client

or protect her and let Gloria go to hell.

It's your music. Dance to it.

(elevator dings)

- Hey, I spent the night in Worcester with some buddies.

You know you should have come.

I do something wrong?

Maya?

What's she doing here?

- She's sick.

- What kind of sick?

- I got to get out of here.

- Gloria, no.

- [Ty] She strung out?

- She needs my help.

- Maya, you need to trust me.

- Based on what?

- Let him take her, Maya, you don't need to deal with this.

- You don't know what you're talking about.

- Neither do you.

You're just making things worse for me.

- [Ty] Hey, let her go. Look, she's messed up.

Do you want her to mess you up too?

- Gloria, where are you going?

- You've got more of that stash in your apartment, right?

- Lucas didn't die that night.

The junkie you tripped over?

She took him to the hospital. He survived.

- I never would have left him. I thought-

- [Morgan] That's what the devil wanted you to think.

- But if he survived, that's a good thing, right?

- No.

He went on to get other people hooked, including Maya.

- Maya and Lucas?

I'm just a pawn.

I'm pawn in some game the devil's playing with you and her.

I had no chance.

- Gloria.

- I need to go. Let me go!

(somber music)

(upbeat music) (singer vocalizing)

What's going on?

Lucas?

(dramatic suspenseful music)

- [Maya] She needs my help.

- [Gloria] Just making things worse for me.

(Gloria moans)

- Hey, there, sunshine.

Turn that frown upside down.

Chin up, little love. All is not lost.

I could understand how you'd be confused.

All these perverse messages, pleasure bad, abstinence good.

It really yanks my thong

when these tight-ass puritans wanna ruin our fun.

But when you bought into it,

that's when the trouble really started.

- Who are you?

- Ooh, I think you know who I am.

You don't wanna do that baby, don't you see?

This is your chance to walk away.

I'm the one that saved your life

and now I'm back to do it again.

- You want to help me save my soul?

- You said so yourself.

You're a pawn, an innocent victim.

And why should you have to suffer

just 'cause Morgan and I are having a little tiff.

- What do I have to do?

- Well, just as Morgan said,

you have to make amends with the one

who got the little booboo from your deal.

- Is that Maya? Because of Lucas?

- Because of you.

I sent you out there to help people, honey.

And what did you do?

You took it upon yourself to make them suffer

by depriving them of their god-given right

to find bliss in the pill powder package of their choice.

- You mean by keeping them straight?

Isn't that what you meant?

- Oh Lord, no.

Bit of a misunderstanding there, I guess.

Would I send you out there to help people

by making them starve or die of thirst?

Of course not.

Men cannot live on bread alone.

And ever since he developed enough of a brain

to get high with, he's been eating lotuses,

smoking poppies and (sniffs) what all.

It's a drive. It's natural.

It's part of being human.

By keeping Maya off drugs, you kept her from all that.

You killed her joy and now you have to give it back.

- Oh?

- Shoot her up, doll face.

She'll love you for it.

And the soul you save will be your own.

- What about Morgan?

- That's the bonus point.

When he finds out that she's back living the high life,

he'll drop her like a sack of brimstone

and she'll be safe from hell too.

Better a needle in the arm

than a soul in eternal flame, right?

(somber music) (Gloria sobbing)

- Maya, look, I can see why you're upset.

I grew up on our house too,

and it's tough when people we trusted

don't turn out to be what we thought.

- This is not about dad.

This is about Gloria.

- Well you said so yourself, she's shooting up again.

- Because of Morgan.

- What? Did he put the needle in her arm?

You just had a slip yourself, like what? A month ago.

How close to the edge can you afford to push it?

- I care about her.

- And I care about you.

So if something helps you, then I'm all for it.

But if it hurts you to be around those people.

- I am those people, Ty!

That white picket fence world

that you live in is not my home.

And it hasn't been since I shot up.

I'm a junkie.

And that's not gonna go away

no matter how badly you want it to.

(phone ringing)

(quiet tense music)

- Yeah.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(Gabe panting)

(eerie music)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(veins crackling) (Gabe panting)

Gloria?

- [Gloria] I'm here.

Come sit with me.

- What's happening to us?

I'm scared.

- I think everything is gonna be all right now.

(dramatic music)

- I don't understand.

(dramatic music) (knuckles rapping)

- Hey, man, look, I'm sorry to keep bugging you,

but it's about Maya.

- Where is she? She all right?

- I don't know.

I, I screwed things up with her

so she wouldn't talk to me about it.

But that woman called, her sponsor,

and I tried to convince her not to go.

- Where?

- That place she got her chip.

(suspenseful music)

(Gabe panting)

- It is so simple, like you said. We made it so complicated.

This is who we are, this is what we want.

And all the trouble we've ever had,

is it trying to be something else.

- But everything we talked about.

- It was a lie.

I never once told you one thing

from my own experience until just now.

We are not the kind of people

who are gonna get what we want out of life, Maya.

Our dads are going to sneak into our beds at night.

And the men we love are gonna break our heart

and we're gonna work hard

and try to live by what other people tell us.

We are gonna be left with nothing.

You know it's true, don't you?

(quiet tense music)

This is the kind of happiness we can have,

the kind we can hold in our hands

and nobody can take away from us.

(engine rumbling)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

- Gloria.

- Hm.

- (sniffs) Thank you for being my friend.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(Gloria gasping)

(Gabe panting)

Gloria?

Gloria!

- Get out, Maya!

Looking at me! Get out!

(Maya sobbing)

- My phone. (sobbing)

I swear to god, Gloria, I'll be right back.

I gotta go!

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(footsteps tapping)

- [Morgan] Gloria.

- I did good.

Not the kind of good I would give myself,

the real kind. (sobbing)

- That's right, sugar buns, I stopped the clock.

But just my clock, not hers.

Curtains coming down, honey, and no encore's for you.

- I don't care.

- I laid it all out for you.

My best moves.

And you laid an egg.

Well, I've got news for you.

God doesn't want your skanky little soul and neither do I.

So I guess you're gonna find out what's in between.

- No. This isn't about her.

This is about you.

Lucas Milford did die that night.

The chain of bad luck was broken, so you filled in

to make sure Gloria and Maya would be connected.

- You think I became Lucas Milford?

But that would be cheating.

- Admit it.

You've lost.

- This isn't that kind of game, dear boy.

This isn't that kind of game.

(suspenseful music)

(somber music)

- [Maya] Gloria, I got help!

They're on their way.

(footsteps thudding)

(Maya sobbing)

(pensive music) (Maya sobbing)

(gentle mysterious music)

(gentle mysterious music continues)

(dramatic music)