Original subtitles

[pleasant music playing]

? ?

- [chuckles softly] - [alert blipping]

- Mm. - [alert blipping]

[exhales]

[shouts]

[gasps]

So, Blavgat, what are your strengths?

And what would you bring to Jemblies Insurance?

I have a very upbeat demeanor.

I'm enthusiastic and eager to learn.

Oh, nice, nice.

And what would you say is your greatest weakness?

Well, as you can see on my r�sum�...

- [gasps] Oh, no. - [both grunting]

- Oh! - Um...

I'd say my greatest weakness

is that I, uh, sometimes

suck people into my body. [chuckles nervously]

? ?

[slurping]

[exclaims]

[sighs]

I ruined Meemaw's birthday.

Oh, please. Meemaw ruined Meemaw's birthday.

Your allergic puffing got us out of there. [screaming]

I'm so sorry. We can't numb you for this procedure.

I was just startled.

I have a high tolerance for pain.

Oh!

It's so bad!

Bognoth, apply more recovery gel.

Ovu, any more heat from that diatherm-pen

- and your patient will be steamed from the inside out. - [screaming]

Preferably with a squeeze of citrove and some bovid butter.

Are you excited about your Deep Cuts profile, Dr. Klak?

Yes, I'm excited more people will know about anxiety treatment options.

Ooh, and I'm excited to get professional photos with Sleech.

- [patient screaming] - Not that they'll look as good

as our annual Cthonk's Day cards, but...

Those photos aren't a joke?

[screaming]

I hope I discover a breakthrough

- worthy of the cover someday. - [patient moaning]

Breakthroughs are overrated. Klak, would you?

- Hmm? - Take cell regeneration, for example.

- [screaming] - Simple, tried and true.

- A staple of modern medicine. - [all moaning]

[electricity whirring]

[all screaming]

[all sighing]

You know, Klak, you and Sleech may want to get

your scrubs tailored for the cover, like I did.

Then people will see how good you look

- and feel bad about themselves. - [patient sobbing]

[laughing]

Something funny, Nurse Tup?

Just checking out your cover.

- [all exclaiming] - [gasps] "Vintage"?! That can't be right.

Wow, Dr. Azel, retro.

Bring back the bangs.

[laughter]

[pleasant music playing]

I can't believe Azel.

They threw their lab coat at me mid-surgery,

- like I'm still their intern. - [sighs]

Azel thinks everyone's their intern.

They once made the Prime Minister of Planet Z-Kor

- park their car. - Well, they can't treat us that way anymore.

Azel and I are performing a Blob separation surgery today,

and I'm gonna show them I'm an equal to be reckoned with.

I'm powerful, I'm in charge,

I answer to no one.

Klak, would you grab me a hot chug?

With two squeezes of rat milk, just like you like it. [chuckles]

I think I'm the problem.

Ooh! Can everyone keep it down?

I'm watching Metallic Love.

Scarzort was never a xylo-concert pianist at all.

She lied to me.

[gasp] What?! She lied?

About her entire history?

Is that bad?

"Bad"? It's unforgivable.

- Are you even best friends anymore - [beeping]

- if you're keeping such a huge secret? - [whimpering]

Oh, would you look at that, there's Zypha.

Hello, Dr. Zypha. Bye.

- Hi, Klak. - Hi, Klak! Whoops.

Said my own name. [clears throat]

- How's Alsade? - Oh, she's, you know.

She's not into plant camping at all.

How can I build anything real with someone who doesn't want

to sleep in the goo pod of a Hooyarthinzon Tree?

Right, because then you couldn't drink the fresh Hooyart Sap in the morning.

[both laughing]

Klak, it's time for our Blobaggia surgery.

Wow, I've only read about Blob patients.

You're welcome to stop by mid-surgery.

See how I work. See how Klak assists.

- "Assists"? - We're well-oiled.

- Zypha, you don't want to... - I'd love to.

I'm thrilled for you to get the opportunity to watch me.

[chuckles] Klak, shall we?

[munching]

Bye. Don't remember me like this!

[chuckles softly]

[beeps]

Would you like a sedative to calm your nerves?

- No, I'm good. - Right.

Yes, of course. It's just, often people say

they don't want one, but I can feel that they actually do,

so is this one of those times, or do you actually not want it?

[muttering gibberish]

Okay, that, uh, that was just an ambiguous sound.

Are you secretly panicking?

Should I be panicking?

Whoa, nope. You're just fine, bud.

We'll be right back to replace your robo-liver.

That's the third time you've lost it today.

- You okay? - No!

Without my empathy, I can no longer feel anyone's feelings.

I usually know what they want- [coos]- or need before they do.

How am I supposed to treat them? No one says what they actually mean!

- [exhaling] - It's true, patients constantly lie.

[grunting, cooing]

Uh, maybe you should take that sedative.

[up-tempo music playing]

[computer] Welcome, Dr. Sleech.

All right, computer, open the patient file for Hoogadoon Bonch,

Space Detective, who is definitely not me.

Now, what made me, er,

Hoogadoon, grow a tentacle?

[computer] Preliminary testing suggests cell mutations

consistent with the following diseases:

Toxicity-induced mutation, bone leakage,

[doctor] ...Pluriformosis, Hyper-Aquosity, Wiggly Fingers...

- [shouting] - Whoa! Easy, easy!

- Restrain her! - Mom? - [Mom cries out]

- [computer] ...early-onset Tail Loss, Bone Melt... - "Bone Melt"?

- ...Neural Leakage... - Does the list end?

Trace brain cells also present.

Whoa! Record for my future biographers.

Even my dead, diseased tentacle is smart.

? ?

Regenerating WristCom discovered.

[automated voice] Return to ComShack for trade-in value.

Computer, what's your recommendation?

[computer] The Environmental Stress Replicator.

[groaning]

The ESR will expose you to various environmental stimuli

to recreate your abnormal cell growth.

Determining which stressors trigger the tentacle

will narrow the list of potential diagnoses.

My professional opinion is that I hate the ESR machine and it sucks.

Why don't you just analyze the tentacle tissue?

[computer] Living tissue is required.

- I can make this tentacle live again. - [lightning crashes]

[beeping]

[computer] Reanimation failed. Tissue is dead.

Trying again in three seconds.

- Still dead. - [groans]

I can't make this tentacle live again.

Fire up the nightmare machine.

[whirring]

[computer] Please note:

environments range from mildly discomforting to excruciating.

Hoogadoon Bonch fears nothing.

[whimpers]

Dr. Klak! And Dr. Azel.

Oh, Dr. Jub.

Azel's former colleague and lover. [chuckles]

[clears throat] Hello.

What are you doing here, Dr. Jub?

I'm here to observe.

I came to see what exciting things

would happen under your guidance, Dr. Klak.

I'm such a fan.

You know, Dr. Klak was my intern.

Of course. The student becomes the teacher.

You and I are so set in our ways now.

I wish we still had that fire.

I have the fire.

I am the fire.

- Okay, Blavgat. - And Philb.

And, Philb. As you know, de-blobbing is a safe, routine procedure.

Dr. Klak, have you seen Dr. Sleech?

We have a surgery together. She's not in any of her nap spots.

She has a secret one in the morgue.

Of course. Thank you.

I'll be performing the de-blobulation...

With me, galactically renowned surgeon, Dr. Azel.

And I'm Dr. Jub, here to observe

the new daring face of medicine, Dr. Klak.

I'll show you daring.

Blavgat, I know you're expecting a simple de-blobbing,

but let's be extra daring, shall we?

I believe you're an excellent candidate for a Blobaggia cure.

Which I, Dr. Azel, will be pioneering today,

using a BioPhagimatic Wand.

That's still a prototype.

They're such an unstable power source.

Exactly! Power I'll be harnessing as I test a procedure

that we will call, uh...

a Perma-deblob-ublob.

- As you know, Blavgat... - And Philb.

...your body views all nearby organic cells

as a part of itself, and aims to incorporate them.

With this wand, I will be able to completely overwrite your DNA,

teaching your cells some boundaries.

That would change my life.

And Philb's.

Azel, as your equal colleague, this is too risky.

I don't care. Please do it.

I just sucked up my potential employer.

Wonderful. Forgive Dr. Klak.

She still has a few tricks to learn.

Now let's do something groundbreaking.

[electrical zapping]

[Tup shouting]

Ah, yeah.

Well, I got blobbed.

[wind rushing]

[shouting]

[shouts]

[grunts]

[computer] No tentacle growth detected.

Preparing next environment.

Trying again in three seconds.

Dead.

Trying again in three seconds.

Living.

[funky music playing]

[computer] Welcome, Dr. Sleech.

What?

No! No, no, no, no!

Let me out of here!

[computer] Next environment initiated. Pressure level three.

[shouting]

[computer] Neuro-Speech activated.

[tentacle through WristCom] Greetings, Sleech. It is I,

Sleech.

[grunts, panting]

You're not me. You're a growth.

And you're disgusting.

[grunting]

Are you ashamed of me, Sleech?

Why do you hide me?

What?

I am going to tell Klak the truth.

Because she deserves a real, honest friend.

Me.

Goodbye, former body.

Or as I think of you now, garbage.

No, no, no! Stop! You don't even have a mouth to drink it.

And that's another rewritten cell

with a membrane as strong as steel.

I'm so much smarter than evolution.

- Do you have a plan in place for if you fail, Dr. Azel? - [Blavgat whimpers]

Because I can't feel my legs.

Don't worry, that's because you don't have legs anymore.

What a relief.

[Philb laughing]

Azel, their cells have begun the process

of becoming fully and irreversibly incorporated.

Once they dissolve, they're gone.

Well, that's terrifying.

What do we say we pass old Klak that very sharp scalpel?

These mech arms are so slow.

- [all grunting] - [Philb] Whoa, whoa.

[menacing laughter]

- Zypha! - Hi. Whoa.

My wand!

[Blavgat whimpering]

Zypha, you saved me!

I did. I guess I like that you're alive.

Dr. Zypha, welcome.

We'll probably die here.

[laughs] Isn't she funny?

Philb Jemblies, insurance.

Azel, we're endangering our colleagues.

Klak, please.

I understand you might be intimidated by me,

but do not stand in the way of greatness.

Are you serious? [groans]

I much prefer when Sleech is the one making my surgeries stressful.

[grunting] Computer, open the door!

I have to stop the tentacle before Klak sees it

and thinks our entire friendship is a lie!

End program!

[up-tempo music playing]

? ?

No!

? ?

Klak. Friend. Aah.

[shouting]

[computer] No tentacle growth detected.

Preparing next environment.

[Sleech shouting]

Ah, I knew I recognized your yell.

Why are you late to our surgery?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, don't let the door...

close.

What's the matter? We can leave.

- [buzzer] - [computer] Chamber locked.

- [buzzer] - Chamber locked.

- [buzzer repeating] - Ch-Ch-Ch-Chamber locked.

Next environment initiated.

Space bees.

- Why is nothing easy with you? - [bees buzzing]

Zypha, I'm getting you out of there.

Klak, you can't mutiny mid-surgery.

Watch me.

- Doctor! - Doctor, please back off.

Blob patients, please open what's left of your mouths

to receive geneprobes.

Peppermint for me, please.

I'm removing you from the blob zone.

Klak, you're a genius with a mech arm.

A genius who I won't hesitate to write up.

Write me up. I'll also write you up

for your little death wand.

Two contemporaries writing each other up as equals.

I'm so sorry, everyone.

I should have just taken my anti-blob meds.

You weren't taking your meds?

They make me sweaty.

No one trusts a sweaty insurance agent.

It's true. I never sweat.

Ha! Klak, you are putting my procedure at risk.

I am in charge. I am in control.

Azel, I don't know what's going on with you,

but I'm not gonna stand aside while you put your ego

- before Zypha's life. And?

And Nurse Tup's life.

And Philb as well.

Young love that might end in death. What drama.

I am the drama,

and I will be continuing with my procedure.

Wait, Azel, don't touch...

- [electricity crackling] - [all cry out]

Ugh.

[all shouting]

- What is going... - [shouting continues]

What?!

Think of all the headlines when I cure Blobaggia from inside.

[all shouting]

See you at lunch.

- [bees buzzing] - [both groaning]

You're supposed to be in surgery. What are you even doing in here?

Nothing. Working. Masturbating? Ugh.

No tentacle growth detected. Preparing next environment.

- Corn. - [Sleech cries out]

[both grunt]

You know your whole withholding thing?

Never cared for it.

Okay, well, I never cared for your beak.

I'll say it, it's hard to kiss. Unh.

No tentacle growth detected. Preparing next environment.

- Sub-zero terrain. - Ooh! Ah!

[wind whooshing]

There's clearly something medically wrong with you.

[shivering]

Why would you push away a smart, handsome doctor who can help?

I'm taking a cell sample.

You are not my doctor.

And why-why do you care?

Isn't your empathy gone?

Just because I don't have empathy doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

I just don't have to feel yours anymore.

Glad that chapter's over.

[straining, groaning]

No! Stop.

[buzzer blares]

That was your fault.

Oh, I wish you were Klak.

Oh, you wish everyone was Klak.

Let me guess.

I have to build the shelter.

I can't believe how well this is going.

- [rumbling] - What's that sound?

[all crying out]

[rumbling]

- [thud] - Uh, we're growing.

We-we're growing!

[alarmed shouts]

- [Sleech grunts] - [Plowp groaning]

- [wind whooshing] - [grunts]

[distorted] No tent... detected...

Prep... next environment.

Sh-sharks.

[both gasping]

- ...tentacle detected. - [Plowp screeching]

...detected. Preparing next environment.

Intense heat.

[both groan]

What's going on? What's wrong with you?

Other than everything about your personality.

Can't you feel that you're stressing me out?

You know I can't anymore. It's horrible.

I scheduled the surgery with you because I'm scared to do it alone.

I don't understand my patients anymore.

Without my empathy, I'm going to be a terrible doctor.

Does now seem like the time for a heart-to-heart?!

And just to be very clear, you're already a terrible doctor.

I am vulnerable right now.

[groans]

[computer] No tentacle growth detected.

[slurping, moaning]

Cycle complete.

[dolphin chittering]

[funky music playing]

[chimes]

Oh. [sighs]

- Door. Door! - Oh.

- Ow. No! - [caws]

Cleaning initiated.

- Why did you seduce me? - [alert chiming]

What?! You seduced me.

Commencing sterilization.

[Sleech gasping]

[crying out]

[panicked grunts and groans]

[alarmed shouting]

[explosion]

[relieved sighs]

- Do the Florks charge you for every machine you break? - Yes.

Cycle complete. No external stimuli found.

Your disease is likely genetic.

It's not Hydratitis, it's not late onset Chimerasis,

it's not Braciteuthis.

Oh, Sleech, you have chronic...

Cellular Pleuraformosis. I know.

I'm genetically predisposed.

Why didn't you take the standard test for it

instead of performing all these workarounds?

Because that test is immediately logged with the GHU.

I'd lose my license.

And you were trying to regrow a tentacle.

Yeah. A tentacle.

A tentacle. Plowp, my rogue tentacle is out there.

Klak can't find out like this.

What?

- [exciting music playing] - Aah. Flork!

Um, have you seen a totally unrelated-to-me, dangerous, slimy...

Oh, yes, it went right in the hole.

Are you two dating again?

- No. - No!

[all shouting]

Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak.

[shouting continues]

[panicked cries]

I must save my best friend Klak.

[grunts]

Aah.

Oh, no.

[all crying out]

- Yeah! - Unbelievable. - We're safe.

- We're not safe. We're not safe. - [clamoring]

[gentle music playing over speakers]

I'm not really looking for a relationship.

No, I'm not really looking for a relationship.

[all shouting]

Klak, Klak, Klak, Klak. Uh-oh.

[tentacle grunting]

[Sleech] Whoa.

Aah. Ow.

[dramatic music playing]

Wow, it actually looks a lot like you.

[grunts] No!

- [grunts] - [cries out]

- [grunts] - Yay. Klak. - All right.

Azel, are you feeling jealous of Dr. Klak?

Is that why you ruined my entire day?

What? How dare you.

Perhaps you're feeling a little irrelevant because she's the new Deep Cuts darling.

You know, seeing you a little desperate honestly makes up for being in a blob.

Azel, is that true?

Are you jealous of the Deep Cuts article?

I don't get jealous. I get driven.

Oh, oh...

The timing's a little gauche, I know,

but, uh, does anyone want to open a life insurance policy?

Are we giving up? Because I'm fine with that.

At least our cells will get to hang out in death.

That didn't sound as cute as I thought it would.

[panicked cries]

Ugh. Klak, what would you do?

Are you asking me as an equal?

[Klak] Okay, if we slice off tiny bits of everyone,

we should be able to cell-regenerate them.

Slice off what now?

All you need is a few healthy cells, and you can fully reanimate someone.

- We've got bits and pieces of everyone. - Not for long.

- [all crying out] - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[grunts]

[screams, grunts]

[mutters indistinctly] Aah!

[screaming]

[moaning]

[pained groan]

[electricity whirring]

[all crying out]

It's impossible to regenerate this many people at once.

Unless we use my incredible wand.

I hate to say it, but that's a great idea.

[straining]

[groaning]

Ow! How do we do this to patients?

- [all crying out] - It hurts so much.

[device powers down]

Am I all new cells? Did who I was just die?

Am I still me? I'll-I'll worry about this later.

All I know is the machine regenerated my clothes

and got out a stain I've had for years.

So, all in all, a good day.

Blavgat, the cure did not work this time, but you are healed,

and the BioPhagimatic Wand was a triumph.

That's the beauty of science.

You've brought us one step closer. Thank you for your service.

Told you it makes me sweaty.

I am impressed, Blavgat.

You handled this situation with grace,

and did what many people are too afraid to do:

you took responsibility.

Thank you. Does this mean I got the job?

[laughs] No, no. Of course not.

But today just goes to show you can never be too prepared.

Thank you for the opportunity.

[chuckles weakly]

Uh, Nurse Tup, I'll send over that policy we discussed.

Great. Unless...

you'd like to look at it over dinner.

I absolutely would.

Your eye contact makes me uncomfortable, and I like it.

Did everyone else get their whole body back?

Hello?

[grunting]

- [grunts] - Oh, no.

Sleech, please.

I am you.

- [grunting] - Ow, ow, ow. I regret nothing.

Aah.

- [Klak] Sleech! - [gasps, chuckles nervously]

Hi! It's nice to see you two not fighting.

Or making out. [chuckles softly]

How was your surgery?

Oh. Uh...

Uh, you know, Sleech and I fought about every decision

and said some things that we can't take back.

The mark of a successful surgery.

[chuckles]

Thanks for covering for me.

You'll be fine, you know?

As a doctor.

You still know how to talk to people.

In your weird, invasive way.

Thanks.

You've inspired me.

You're an incredible doctor,

and you have almost no emotional intelligence.

And don't worry- I won't tell anyone about today.

Even though I'm legally obligated to.

Thanks.

ComShack.

Trade-in value.

[percussive music playing]

We didn't do the surgery.

I still have to do the surgery!

You stood up to me today.

I reported you for insubordination,

but... I also liked it.

Yeah, well, sometimes you need

someone who will remind you of what you're capable of.

Yes.

- You did that for me. - Did I?

You reminded me that it takes an incredible leader to delegate.

And I am that leader.

Thank you for reminding me I'm excellent.

[chuckles] Anytime.

Lunch!

I-I've been meaning to tell you,

congratulations on the Deep Cuts profile.

You deserve it. Mm.

Bognoth, would you?

W-Would I what? What? What's happening?

Zypha!

Hey.

It's great to see your face attached to your neck.

- [chuckles softly] - Likewise.

I was wondering, uh, if you'd, well...

Would you want to go on a date sometime?

If you're not with Alsade.

- No! - No. Right. [chuckles]

A rejection. That makes sense.

Thank you. I respect you.

I'm not with Alsade!

We're pretty casual. Certainly not committed.

No to Alsade. Yes to you.

I'd love to go out with you.

Really? [chuckles]

Me, too.

With you.

- [yelps] - Sleech!

You'll never guess what just happened.

"Hoogadoon Bonch."

How do I know that name?

So, tell me about Zypha.

I asked Zypha out!

- You did?! - Yes!

And I could be wrong, but I think we held hands inside the blob.

Oh! And I stood up to Azel!

That is so amazing!

Wait, inside the blob?

[chuckles] I'm so glad I can share, like, everything with you.

Can you imagine if we were like those friends on Metallic Love

with some kind of awful secret driving a wedge between us?

[chuckles]

Yeah.

That would be tough to come back from.

[? Stereo Total: "Relax Baby Be Cool"]

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

- ? Ooh ? - ? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Ooh ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Ooh ?

? Relax, baby, be cool ?

- ? Ooh ? - ? Relax, baby, be cool ?

? Ooh ?

- ? Relax, baby, be cool ? - ? Ooh ?

? Ooh ?

? Ooh ?

Chirp.

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