Original subtitles

[upbeat sci-fi music plays]

[beeping]

- [Flork 1] Well, my head doesn't wear hats as well yours. - Oh! [laughs]

Ah, there it is.

[Azel] Teeb Beeb, Lymen-Alpha-winning journalist.

[laughs] Hello.

I'm doing an article on your colleagues Dr. Sleech and Klak.

We all know they saved the worm, they saved the world.

They're brilliant, ambitious, daring, young.

But I want to know who they really are.

Tell me about them.

The most impressive thing about Dr. Sleech and Dr. Klak

is that they had an excellent teacher.

And that teacher was me.

They're doctors. They doctor.

That enough of a scoop for you?

Ugh, great, now there's 16 of this guy.

They're rapscallions with heart.

And it was my guidance that pushed them into genius territory.

And I hired them in spite of their reference saying

they were not ideal candidates. [laughs]

Oh, boy. Oops.

They're awesome. They let me help out sometimes with medical stuff.

Even though I am totally not qualified.

Dr. Klak? Yeah. Yeah, I think she's pretty amazing.

As a surgeon.

I find her very endearing and attractive.

As a surgeon.

I would die for them.

I would kill for them.

Professionally.

Ha! Yikes.

We might be able to pull this off. We might seem professional.

[both squeal, then yell]

[panting]

Doctors.

? ?

Helping you prep for your Deep Cuts interview is the honor of my life.

I have many practice questions prepared,

as well as a list of topics to avoid that make Dr. Klak sweat.

[Sleech] Thanks, Vlam, but we don't need them. We have a plan.

Klak, of course, wants to restore her reputation.

So while Teeb is here, all we need to do is make you look responsible,

fun, mentally balanced

and nothing like the person who had a breakdown on live television.

Yep, and you want to be famous, which you will be

after we handle this interview with grace and poise.

- We don't want to look-- [grunts] - [patient groans]

- to quote the evening news, "rogue, unhinged and not to be trusted."

When I was the Galactic Imperator, I was constantly in the press, remember?

Fame comes with strings.

They see the greatness, but they also see... everything else.

Everything else?

Everything else.

[patient retching]

- [coughing] - [moaning]

What is all this?

The UniYum grant money was for a team-building day.

I have a folder of delightful icebreakers.

As the new guiding force of this hospital, I've made an executive decision

to spend that money bringing us out of the past

- and into the future. - ? UniYum. ?

A one-stop preventative, primary and emergency care machine,

now with blowouts.

Oh, good, our inaugural patient.

[gasps]

Ow. [nervous chuckle]

[grunts]

[grunts, gasps]

- [machine] Treatment complete. - ? UniYum. ?

- UniYum says, you're welcome. - [dings]

[groans] I hate a ding.

- [dings] - [yelps]

- Oh, geez. - [yelps]

[moans, chuckles]

- [dings] - [screams]

[sighs]

Our clone's lover's clone found our Maker.

- And our maker's name is-- - [dings]

[yelps]

- and I'll never say it again.

[burbles]

No!

After they fix me up, I'll meet you back here.

And remember, only gaming on that thing, okay?

[beeping]

[theme music plays]

Huh.

[game theme playing]

Awesome.

[gasps]

[grunting]

Do not fret, nano-farmhand! I shall get you your galacti-quasar!

Hyah!

[creature chitters]

[mellow club music playing]

[moaning]

- Cool floor. - You should see the beds.

I get what you're implying because I've had sex now.

In fact, I'm a middle-aged man in second puberty.

I don't know what that means.

Hmm.

I'm delighted to be interviewing you.

Your professional accomplishments are plentiful

and you always claw your way out of chaos and into success. [chuckles]

We've changed. We only claw our way to sensible places now.

Tell me, Dr. Klak, has your relationship with your mother

also changed since your very recent, very public breakdown on her show?

Oh, you're that Dr. Klak?

No. I mean, technically yes,

but that Dr. Klak was a mess!

This Dr. Klak has her meds recalibrated and does therapy six times a week.

Wow, six times a week sounds like a lot of therapy

when you say it out loud.

Maybe Dr. Sleech can just finish me up alone?

Of course. No problem. I also prefer that.

And how's your relationship with your mom,

- Dr. Nak Nak Sleech? - [gasping]

How do you know my first name?

[machine chimes]

Uh, name?

- It's, uh-- - [dings]

- Uh, one more time? - Oh, sure, it's--

[dings twice]

[sighs] Symptoms?

- Uh, well, I-- - [ding]

- when I d-- - [ding]

- all over the b-- - [ding] - [groans] Enough!

Ugh, I knew it was weird.

[Flork 2 humming]

I can't take this anymore.

Being apart? Oh, yes, I-I feel the same.

Not you. Other head, I'm talking to you.

- Hi! - Azel's new machine. I can't take it.

It dings! Constantly!

Oh, well, I haven't noticed.

- [ding] - [groans]

[game theme playing]

[grunting]

[sighs]

- [Vlam] Hiya! - [crashing]

What? [screams]

[grunts, gasps]

What is-- [grunts]

Oh! [panting]

[panting]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Uh, I've lost six heads in two weeks.

You're going to be fine.

Dr. Sleech, shall we perform the first successful head-retention procedure

on a head-shedding case?

I'm thrilled to be here to witness one of your ground-breaking surgeries!

Oh, yeah, I-I... [sighs]

Yeah, uh, yeah, I don't, I don't think we need to do

anything ground-breaking, Teeb.

Well, that's disappointing.

But I have a lead on a teen scientist who just discovered a ninth sense:

Bleerfing. As in, "I can bleerf you bleerfing me."

Eye, pop on in so we can scoot.

Ha! Good morrow, shopkeep!

I humbly beg weaponry that I might best the wizard.

What knowledge do you seek?

Y-Y-You have secrets. Secrets!

And they shall all come out right now!

[awkward chuckle]

An old joke between colleagues.

I do have secrets! Secrets to success! [laughs]

What is this, a virus? Malware?

I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not a part of our plan.

Oh, I can stay a little longer after all, see how this unfolds.

Ooh, if only I could bleerf this.

[moaning]

[clucking]

Ugh, that kiss was awful.

Oh. I lost my empathy, so I can't tell when you're enjoying yourself.

- I can finally tell when I am. - [device beeps]

Pleasure rave. Starting now and lasting forever.

Bring extra skin.

[gasps]

I just received an urgent message.

- I've got to go. - Hmm.

When you're not feeling other people's feelings about it,

music is really great! Who knew?

Yee-haw! Good girl, Nuppo!

That's a good robo-horse!

Klak, her eyes. Forced pupil reformation.

- So it's not a glitch. - Hee-yah!

That can only mean... [gasps]

...she's been hacked.

[gasps] Thrilling.

We're backing up Vlam's consciousness.

Safely. Responsibly. Protocol.

Okay, the library will have archival manuals.

Can you handle Vlam?

Alone? With Teeb?

I-I would love to. But I shouldn't.

I need absolute quiet. Gotta focus.

Oh, well...

[gasps] I suppose I'll go to the library with this one,

ask her about her college girlfriend.

Oh, Slug Girl didn't like labels.

And I was great with that.

[chuckles]

[grunting]

We'll override this ding, no problem.

For admin privileges, we need ID verification.

Please answer the following security questions.

- Is this your father? - Yes.

Why is he sad?

Because he hates his job.

Why is he actually sad?

Oh, no, who wrote these questions?

Because he never got over Mom when she left.

She was "the one that got away."

Correct. The "ding" alert has been changed.

- I did it. - We did it.

For you.

- [sighs] - [patient screaming]

[screaming]

Is everyone okay? Did it give you a bad haircut?

The "ding" has been changed to match the soundscape of a hospital.

It replaced the ding with a...

[scream]

...scream.

[scream]

- A help button. - No, Flork, that's never gonna work.

It's UniYum!

[alarm ringing]

[screaming]

It totally helped! Now we can't hear the ding!

Or the scream!

What?

[soothing sci-fi music playing]

[grunting softly]

- Oh! - Oh! Dr. Klak. Hi.

Uh, it's been a while.

Zypha. Hi are you? Nice to see it. You.

Your face and body.

How are you?

I'm so excellent. And you are? How?

I'm-I'm good, too. It's so funny running into you.

Uh, I'm actually here researching the prismatic petals of Llowythen.

[laughs] The way you said that made me stop breathing.

[romantic music plays]

[Teeb] Did you two date?

Oh, no, we are just colleagues.

[chuckles uncomfortably] Just colleagues.

Uh, Vlam's in trouble and I'm actually looking for the librarian, Alsade.

[Alsade] Did someone say my name?

Mm.

Or did you sing it, my darling, whilst chanting the ancient

fertility-hymn of Grobulon from which Alsade derives?

Um, can I have these manuals? They're in the archives.

Are you dating? Like dating-dating?

We aren't dating so much as driving on the same sensual highway

until our passion runs out of gas.

Great. As you all know, Teeb Beeb is profiling me for Deep Cuts.

So, congratulations to me. And congratulations to you two.

Congratulations to us all!

If you want a romantic date for your love:

Pick up a couple of slug wraps from Pargloz Slugs.

Then take them to the north-west cliffside of the Turgid Stamen Forest

and eat them between the second and third sundeaths.

Ooh, we've been there.

Why are you describing your post-kiss, pre-sex third date move?

Why are you here?

Alas, we're not pre-sex.

Now, I know you two dated.

How long did that last?

- On and off for years. - It was casual! For Azel.

- I mean, no comment. - I'll walk you out.

Even though we're leaving together, we're not leaving together-together.

Bye.

I bet they're leaving together-together.

[mellow club music plays]

Mm. Mmm. [laughs]

I didn't know I hated Frunk-cakes. I love to hate this food.

It's my hate.

I've been here for 27 years.

[game theme playing]

Oh, no...

Believe me, Vlam, I know what it's like when your body betrays you.

- [Sleech] I think I can-- - [buzzes]

Physical tamper detected.

- Initiating self-destruct. - Oh, no.

Our maker told me herself after we made love.

I'm the last one left alive who knows.

Our maker is--

- [dings] - We got a problem. - No!

And now I'll never say it again.

[yelps]

- [groans] - How should I proceed?

You know the protocol.

[panting]

Uh, I stopped her from self-destructing.

How? By destroying her yourself?

Dr. Klak, how does it feel to trust your colleague and friend

and come back to find out she's made a huge decision without consulting you?

You sound like my therapist. [chuckles]

Did you talk to her?

- [whirring] - [gasping]

T-This is the Galactic Health Unit's Cyber-Robotics Security Force.

We have detected an illegal hacker in this robo-citizen.

In accordance with GHU code,

we will now perform a hard reset, restoring her to her original settings.

No, no, her entire personality is in her updates!

A hard reset could cause permanent damage.

My brother is Flim. He can sort this out.

Please let me talk to Flim.

Do you often get special treatment

because your brother is a high-ranking lawyer for the GHU?

Um...

Hard reset initiated.

[grunts]

We've come to contain the War Hounds!

Move, lest you die in the crossfire.

- Is she still being hacked? - No.

This must be Vlam's original programming.

I shall find the Hounds and lay them slack at your feet!

What the hell was Vlam created to do?!

[screams, groans]

[grunts]

[yells, grunts]

We need to get her backup installed.

Done dog!

Now, these are the doctors I've heard about.

[gasps]

I have returned.

I need your help, but first I need you to kiss me.

[slurping, moaning]

Mm. Mmm.

[gasps]

No! I was back at the hospital!

I was gone from this sexy place!

Sorry, but that's our time.

Let me know when you want another fantasy you can feel, pretty bird.

[sighs]

If you continue to block me from getting to the War Hounds,

- I will kill you. - [yells]

Please emotionally prepare yourself for death.

I'm always emotionally prepared for death, it's a strength of mine.

I don't want to say this, last resort for sure,

but we could probably get Vlam to the Explosiology Floor.

We can't kill Vlam!

[choking] Vlam. Vlam, let us go.

[choking]

[grunts]

[panting]

[ethereal music plays]

[moans]

You're beautiful, door, but my colleagues need me. Please.

No can do. [moans]

I'm trapped in unending pleasure, aren't I?

[moans]

[gasps]

[laughs] I'm a genius.

I'm a filthy, sexy genius.

[clucks]

No, no, no, I'm a fool!

I-I'm a filthy, sexy fool!

[disembodied moaning]

[beeping]

It just kept doing my hair over and over and over.

[choking]

[Sleech gasps] Yes!

- [choking] - Klak, if I die,

it's okay if you never love again.

[gasps] I'm back!

And you saved me! My friends! My colleagues!

Oh, I'm sorry!

[grunts, coughs]

All in a day's work.

[chokes, sighs]

You feeling well enough to go plug yourself in for an R-scan?

Yes. I'm embarrassed and ashamed.

I let you both down.

And I never defeated the wizard.

Oh, those poor villagers.

Hey. I need to wrap this up. I have couples' therapy in 20 minutes.

And I can't miss it again. [chuckles]

[panting]

I've returned from my journey because Sleech texted me, her ex, about Vlam.

- I'm here to help. - [dings]

- ? UniYum. ? - How was everything? Wonderful?

Absolutely. I feel better than I have in years.

Did you know that three of my legs were broken?

I had no idea.

- [dings] - ? UniYum. ?

Oh, no, it thought we were one-headed.

It thought we were one-headed!

Oh. Hi, Plowp.

I know Puberty Leave PTO is flexible

and your current state is by nature insensitive to protocol,

but it would be helpful if you had told anyone

before you left for two weeks, Dr. Plowp.

Oh, come on. Ignore him.

He's never truly lived. [laughs]

Sleech. I've come to your rescue.

Do you want to make love atop an operating table?

What? Kind of. No.

Good. That means I've finally left the Pleasure Hive.

I owe them so much money.

Did you know Sleech texted Plowp today to ask for help?

I mean, that's her ex.

Even after their breakup, those two still generate a lot of heat.

Uh... [laughs] It was just sex.

- And love. - [laughs awkwardly]

[upbeat sci-fi music plays]

Today was fun. You're so in sync.

So-- So passionate, so willing to risk yourselves for your patients.

What? After everything you've seen, you don't think we're unprofessional?

[laughs] Oh, you're wildly unprofessional.

Disaster and chaos, just as I'd hoped.

I'd say you are going to make a fun and fascinating piece.

So much so that I'd like to forgo the small blurb about you

- and pitch you as the cover, a full profile. - Ooh!

- A profile? - Nothing is off limits, doctors.

Okay... Well, we're glad you got what you need.

Goodbye forever.

Oh, no, I'm going to be seeing you much more.

I intend to learn everything about you.

Everything.

[beeping]

[sighs] Why is Plowp hot now?

Did I tell you I saw Zypha and Azel in the library?

And Zypha is dating Alsade?

- Alsade? No! - But I think the profile will be fine.

What could she write about me

that's worse than anything my mom ever has?

And did you hear her say cover story?

That's been our dream since med school.

You're going to be even more insufferable when you're famous.

Which they're going to write about.

Oh, no, they're going to know everything about us.

Yeah.

Everything.

[? Chai: "CHOOSE GO!"]

? Hey, do you know what's the reason ?

[singing in Japanese]

? Choose go ?

[singing in Japanese]

? Choose go ?

[singing in Japanese]

? Choose go ?

[singing in Japanese]

? Choose go ?

[singing in Japanese]

? Hey! Do you know what's the reason? ?

[singing in Japanese]

Chirp.

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