Original subtitles

Okay, you have the director. That's me, Guy Ritchie...

...and Matthew Vaughn.

The producer. Hello.

We're gonna talk you through this film.

This is a scene that we shot on the last two days...

...when we remedied some of the faults that we found in the film.

This comes at the end and at the beginning...

...and it seemed to give the film a feeling of circulation.

It seemed to give it a top and tail, turned it into a whole revolution.

Anything you'd like to add to that, Mr. Vaughn?

- No. - Good. I'm very pleased about that.

This is a new actor we discovered...

...a chap from Liverpool...

...who can emulate any accent perfectly.

To try and copy an authentic London accent...

...has proved to be very tricky for most characters.

This guy managed to do it fantastically.

If you heard him in his native tongue, you couldn't understand a word.

I'll come back to him later. Oh, Benny. Benicio Del Toro.

You rather liked Benicio, didn't you, Matt?

Lovely guy.

This is Benny playing a Hasidic Jew.

We've enlarged his nose to about three times the size.

This was an idea I had...

...when we were recceing for a certain scene.

When we were stuck in the lift, I suddenly thought...

We were looking around locations for a diamond heist.

And it was all rather complicated...

...and I thought the interesting stuff was actually our arrival to this location...

...and all the security measures you had to pass.

So as we were recceing this place, I came up with this idea...

...which was to have all six monitors.

So you'd go from one monitor to another without a cut in the film.

Then it comes off the last monitor onto real time...

...and you're into the scene.

The director of photography had something to do with this concept...

...and he'd feel rather annoyed if I didn't involve him in this creative process...

...because he had something to do with it.

He did make it too long, so you had to cut it.

It's not a continuing shot like it was gonna be.

I think you'll find it is a continuing shot.

Go back. There was a cut two seconds ago.

- I remember we cut into it. - No, we didn't cut it.

We did cut into it.

- Well, where? - We took 45 seconds off.

Did we?

- How did we cut it? You didn't see it cut. - If you rewind...

A cut and a dissolve.

- Really? - Yeah.

It went on and on. We all fell asleep when the credits...

That's because we took the front off, all the shit in the beginning.

No, in the middle. When it goes up, that's the cut.

- What do you know? - Well, I know.

- Okay. - The audience can decide.

We might as well say who the other Jews are.

That's the sound man, Simon Hayes. That's the first AD that just went down.

That was another member of the crew.

- Tim. - There goes one of the runners.

That was a shot we put in later. No one realised what we were doing...

...until we had some diamonds actually coming out of a safe.

Good name.

Quite swanky, this piece of filmmaking.

We wanted to lead you into a false sense of...

Oh, there goes the director of photography.

This is the poor chap that got drowned...

...in the beginning of Lock, Stock by Barry the Baptist.

He always takes a kicking...

...well, in both the films that we've done.

What was I saying, Matt? I got distracted there for a second.

- The credits, I don't know. - I can't remember myself now.

I'm sure it was fascinating, anyway.

Oh, there's Dennis. You loved Dennis.

There's Lennie. Top man, Len. What's his name again?

Brandon Gunn next to Brad. Voice coaching for making Brad's accent...

Brad. Brad Pitt, that's it. That's the name I was looking for.

- Robbie Gee, good boy. Benny again. - Who everybody thought was Brad.

Which was quite confusing when we did the first test-screening.

Jason Statham, who we used in Lock, Stock...

We were very pleased with his performance in Lock, Stock, and in this.

- We're keen on Jason, but not today. - He didn't turn up.

He was supposed to be here talking with us and he swerved.

Mike Reid. Infamous in England as one of the most prolific actors of all time.

Alan Ford. Hero.

- That was Basher being bashed. - That was Basher. He was our "sparks."

You'll come across every member of the crew...

...and, of course, the cast, during the next hour and a half.

We've got them all in front of the camera.

That's... Sid Hoare, I think his name is. In the back there.

Infamous judo player. Strangled many a man, has Sid Hoare.

- Which one, on the right or the left? - No, that's a Russian chap.

He took his work very seriously, I'm pleased to say.

Sid Hoare, with the cheekbones, just there in the back.

Very well-known in the judo world.

As is Gorgeous George, who's...

Was he 22 stone or 18 stone off?

Don't know. He's big. He's not a very good chess player, but he's big.

- Even I can beat him. - He's a better chess player than you.

He's the only one I beat on a regular basis.

Look at it. How am I supposed to run this thing from that?

Explain the sausages, Guy.

Oh, yeah, we... This is our first day of shooting, actually.

That's our Liverpudlian on the right there...

...who is illustrating his very authentic London accent.

Now, that's another infamous judo player in the back...

...who's cooking the sausages.

He was a Hungarian heavyweight...

...feared throughout the Eastern bloc countries.

And somehow ended up working with us.

Great character, Charlie.

"Turkey."

Yeah. It took him a long time to get the names right.

He just kept calling him "Turkey."

But we felt as though his presence was warranted in this scene.

He wasn't written in but got embroiled in it...

...because he was such a character.

I cut this scene down quite considerably...

...which was one of the things I didn't like doing because I loved it.

It was a big, fat long scene and I find these two very entertaining.

I was keen on the dialogue...

...but this film was three hours long on our first cut.

I slept through two hours of it, which was not a good sign.

So we cut it down to an hour and a half, and lots of the stuff that I liked...

...got chucked out the old window.

Anything you'd like to say about Boris, since I seem to be doing all the talking?

No, I enjoy just listening. But Rade's... What the hell's Rade's surname?

Well, I mean, it's unpronounceable. But Rade, he was...

I saw him in... What's that film?

- Eyes Wide Shut. - Eyes Wide Shut.

Which wasn't my favourite film of all time, it must be said.

However, I was extremely keen on Rade's performance.

I thought he was one of the most entertaining things in it.

So we got him in the action.

Here's Alan Ford. He was the barman in Lock, Stock.

- He only had a sentence in Lock, Stock. - And did the voice-over.

He did the narration for Lock, Stock. He's a bit of class, Alan Ford.

And he's a real pro and...

You know, you could see that when we were making Lock, Stock...

...because a lot of these guys were just fill-ins off the street.

Some of them were just off the street.

Obviously, a lot of them didn't have the professional attitude...

...of a pro actor like Alan.

And then as soon as you had them juxtaposed against Alan...

...and Alan did his stuff, you could...

You all right there, Matt? Don't die on me just yet.

And I was so impressed with his professionalism and ability...

...that I wrote this role, really, for him.

What the fuck are you two looking at?

If you got to deal with him, just make sure you don't end up owing him.

Then you're in his debt.

Now, that's John Farnell at the back.

John Farnell is a bit of a tough chap.

That's Dave Legeno at the front. He's another tough chap.

We had quite a lot of tough chaps on this set.

They all complained about this scene, didn't they? Because it really stank.

Yeah, we did shoot this in a pigsty. Funny, that.

But pigsties are more stinky than you can possibly imagine.

I mean, pigs stink, what can you say?

All the clothes they're wearing there had to be burned afterwards.

No matter how many times you washed them, never got the smell of pigs out.

This was a scene we shot after the film, wasn't it?

It was a scene that I felt we missed, and we put it in at the end there.

A lot of people got very confused and... What'd we do? Why did we...?

Bloody hell, man. You ain't gotta say much.

When you open your mouth, can you let something sensible fall out?

Trying to remember what we clarified. What were we clarifying in that?

Not much. My tracksuit bottoms you got on there, Vaughn?

- Yeah. - How did you end up...

- ...wearing my tracksuit bottoms? - Your girlfriend gave them to me.

- Now, this shot... - Is out of focus.

Is out of focus, yeah.

You'll see it go a bit fuzzy, a bit soft in a minute.

The director of photography has something to answer for there.

He tried to convince me that it was sharp as a pin...

...but he was wrong, as you shall see shortly.

This was a complicated scene. We first shot it in Russian, and it was subtitled.

But no one could understand a fucking word of what was going on.

So we had to re-shoot the chap on the right.

And he had to get... Fucking hell, this is a hard one to explain.

Because they're both in shot, they have to be in sync with one another...

...because there's only a finite amount of time...

...between one speaking and the other speaking.

So the re-shoot was tricky...

...because he had to get all the words out in the right amount of time.

Sorry about that. There we go, anyway.

Just letting you know about some of the trickier parts of filmmaking.

Bit of boring trivia, but Benicio is in Hatchet Harry's office.

Because we're such cheapskates, we used the same location.

- No, you are such a cheapskate, Matt. - No, we are. You didn't complain.

Yes, interesting point. Thank you. That was Hatchet Harry's office.

- It was. - Yup.

Which is the famous Bethnal Green Town Hall...

...which has had more films shot in it than Hollywood.

This very interesting character on the right, reading a newspaper...

This is my screen debut.

I wanted to get in on the action somewhere.

People have asked for my autograph after this scene.

There we go, that's the end of my performance. You shan't see me again.

Now, this is Hatton Garden.

This is where the English diamond business has its centre.

And this is a jewellery shop in Bond Street...

...a smart shopping area of London.

- That's David Garren, wasn't it? - Yeah, I think it was.

Good bunch of boys, they were. Oh, yeah.

What are you doing here?

"A free country, isn't it?"

I like this idea of sort of stroppy young Jewish lads...

...hanging out on street corners, making a nuisance of themselves.

This is something we just knocked up on the spot.

- Some people find it funny, some don't. - English like it more than Americans.

It's sort of flown over their heads a bit in the States, that bit.

This is a scene we put in, took out, put in again.

I was very taken with these twins.

- Nikki and Teena. - Nikki and Teena.

"Yeah, Dad, you told us!"

Keen on those girls. I wanted to involve them more in the film, but...

I don't know what went wrong.

It's a funny house, this, wasn't it? This was in Perivale.

The producer, who's sitting on my left, had just bought a brand-new Porsche.

And in this Porsche, he had the most state-of-the-art, the most expensive...

...satellite navigation system ever fitted in a car.

And Perivale...

...is not the most salubrious of London locations.

When Vaughn tapped in Perivale...

...his state-of-the-art navigational system refused to recognise Perivale.

It's suburbia at its best.

This house... It's very funny. If you stand 20 feet back from it...

...it looked like quite a large house.

It was the smallest house I've ever been in. It was a bit like a doll's house.

A family of 12 lived in it. I'm not quite sure how they managed.

It's just so small, I can't tell you.

We've got the doors open at the back and at the front to give it more depth.

This is another place that Vaughn's navigational system didn't recognise.

- Where is this? In Croydon, isn't it? - Yeah, Croydon. It's horrible.

- Are you enjoying your lunch, Matt? - I am indeed.

- Jolly good. - You want some?

Oh, no, I made sure I had lunch before we did this, Matt.

Directors always get looked after and producers don't.

Not as flash as your bike.

Who are you looking for?

Mr. O'Neil.

What was that young lad's name, Vaughn?

I know you always remember the young lads' names.

Yeah, he's a lovely guy. Originally not from Ireland, though. He was called...

- He's a good actor. - Yeah, he was a good boy.

- Austin. - Austin, yeah.

Go on, Austin. He was a good lad, Austin.

Game lad. I'm sure Vaughn can...

Explain that shot. The debate... No one noticed what Brad just did in that shot.

That was Brad having a poo behind a Shogun...

...car.

Which Brad and I thought was the funniest thing in the world.

- The whole crew did. - Yeah.

But no one in the audience ever picked up on it.

You look like a boxer.

Get out of the way, Mickey. See if the fellas would like a drink.

I could murder one.

Be no murdering done around here, I don't mind telling you.

Get your hands out of there.

Cup of tea for the big fella?

Don't be silly, Mickey. Offer the man a proper drink.

It's the first time he's seen Brad. There was an embarrassing instance...

...where I said it would be funny if he threw the lad over his left shoulder.

And you saw no more about it...

...and then later on you'd see the kid bouncing around happily.

But the travelling folk... What's-his-face here...

Brad had this very sort of tough way of treating everyone.

He was always punching and slapping...

...and knocking people around, and they could all tolerate it.

Anyway, he threw the child over his shoulder and no one caught it.

But he was a tough lad and he didn't mind about it at all.

- That's the wonderful Jason Flemyng. - Super Mullet. Jason Flemyng.

He wormed his way onto the set.

He said he was gonna come down and take a couple of pictures.

Somehow, he managed to end up in front of the camera.

Little Austin just got a clip round the ear.

See you later, lads. See you, boss.

All right, Mickey. Laters.

Now, the unfortunate thing about Brad's accent...

...is that he had some of the best lines in the film...

...and of course no one can appreciate any of them.

This was based on a true story I heard.

- From a lot of people. - Scene for scene.

You see that car? I suggest you use it.

You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.

Nobody brings you...

...unless they're trying to say something without talking.

Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep your caravan.

Outside Croydon. What was it called again, this place?

Croydon.

Didn't it have a sort of a name like Perivale? Sort of like Perivale...

- Never mind. - I thought that was called Perivale.

It sounded like it, yeah.

We spent some time down here.

I won hundreds of pounds playing chess in this particular location...

...in that caravan behind there.

Yeah.

Vaughn pointed out to me after we had done this shot...

...that it was a complete replica of...

We'd stolen it from Raiders of the Lost Ark, I think.

Where he just punches him.

I couldn't remember where I'd nicked it from, but I had nicked it.

I recognised the shot once we did it. I couldn't think why I recognised it...

...and later, we put it together...

...and I think we pinched it from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Brad was a game lad through all of this.

Now we cut to Brad's brilliant stand-in.

Remember the stand-in guy? He turned up with a wig.

Well, in the end we more or less just ended up using Brad for all the stunts.

- He comes in right now. - What are you talking about?

He only got kicked, but it was him.

That was fucking ages ago, Vaughn. We've moved on.

Wake up!

Right, yeah. Brad didn't mind being thrown around at all.

Quite a fit-looking fucker, old Brad, I must say.

This was a song that... Got good abs, Brad.

- He's got nice abs, hasn't he, Matt? - Pretty jealous.

This was a song that I'd been gagging to use in both films.

We tried a thousand different tracks...

...and no one would give us clearing rights.

Then the producer, in a very rare moment...

...came up with the good idea of using this track, which seems to fit perfectly.

- Well done, the producer. - Thank you very much.

But "Helter Skelter" was good.

Well, we wanted to call this film "Helter Skelter" and I love the track...

...but Charles Manson did all kinds of atrocities to that track...

...or wrote "helter skelter" in blood on people's walls after butchering them...

...so we didn't think it was appropriate. Great track, though.

I'm very keen on this. I must say, the first 40 minutes of the film, I'm proud of.

I think it rattles along at a great speed.

I like the way it feels. I'm very pleased with the performances.

I was very pleased. Right up to here, I can't really pick many holes in it.

You know, we got what we were after.

There's the wonderful dog. There's some good dog stories.

Vaughn's got some good dog stories, which he'll tell you about later.

Nothing to do with the film, of course, but...

Hey, Goldie!

- Matt and Goldie were best of chums. - He's a good boy.

They saw eye to eye on just about everything.

Spurious. Not genuine.

And it's worth...

...fuck-all.

Bad Boy, I keep telling you, stick to being a gangster.

Leave this game to me and Sol.

Laters.

He's a good lad, Goldie.

I just wish somehow we could've involved him more in the narrative.

Unfortunately, he did have a bigger role, but...

Everyone more or less had bigger roles, but they all got whittled down.

Unfortunately, one of the scenes that he was in took a bit of a...

- Disappeared. - Yeah, did get rather heavily edited.

- What was the dog called? Bo? - Yeah, the bitch with the black eye.

Bo, yeah. Apparently it was a film dog, which means that it's film-friendly.

- And trained well. - And trained well.

I've never come across such an ill-disciplined dog as that one.

- I have a job for you. - I already have a job.

He butchered and raped almost every member of the cast and crew...

...at some stage or another.

- Especially Lennie, though. - No, that was Robbie.

- That was Lennie. - Who got raped in the back of the car?

Robbie got raped, but Lennie got eaten.

- Which one got ejaculated on? - Robbie.

Yeah, poor old Robbie.

They were locked in this car, it's a scene that comes up later on...

...and the dog took a real shine to Robbie...

...as soon as they were introduced and would never leave his side.

If Robbie was without physical support from anyone...

...the dog would always recognise the opportunity...

...of taking advantage of poor Robbie.

It's a scene that I shall bring up later...

...but Robbie was actually raped in the back of a car.

He's bad to the bone, ain't you, Tyrone?

Of course I am.

This was their first encounter.

Poor... This was...

Poor old Robbie is somewhat nervous with this animal.

While I'm at the wheel, it's my car...

- I don't think he's even in this shot. - He was, he's on his leg. Look.

There we go. He was trying to get onto Lennie's back at that point.

He thought the fur was real.

There we go, a little sensitive touch there.

It's like he's a fucking homing beacon.

Steady on the brakes.

I thought you said he could drive, Sol.

- You wanna introduce Ade? - Oh, Ade.

Ade is a pal of mine, who I've always found a very interesting character.

- Is he acting or...? - This is... Well...

That sort of took on its own personality, that scene.

It did take him that long to get out of the car.

Don't worry about Tyrone. He can move when he has to.

Ade, I always felt, had the presence of someone that should be on-screen.

I always felt as though he should've been in this film more.

He sort of disappears at an appropriate time...

...but I think he should have come back, somehow.

Brad Pitt again, who some people mistake as Benicio Del Toro.

This was a running gag which is subtle. Some people didn't pick up on it.

Benicio changes his appearance every time you see him, because he's so...

...clandestine in his operations.

So he hires a van and drives around in a van.

He gets into it and gets out the other end looking like a different man.

This was the scene where Robbie got raped, I believe.

- Yup. And Lennie... - Lennie got butchered.

- This is where he got his ear. - He got butchered the week before.

- Yeah, but it was in this scene. - Yeah.

There's Bo, post-sex. That's why he's calmed down a bit now.

He's warming up a bit here. Look.

People'll see the damage. What'd you do that for?

I didn't see it.

It's a four-ton truck. It's not like it's a packet of fucking peanuts.

If Robbie knew what was coming at him now...

Bo's getting excited. He's got his eyes on Lennie. Look.

He's had his fill of Robbie. Hello, son! Go on, boy!

- That wasn't actually in the script. - At this point, panic ensued in the car.

None of the lads could open the doors.

They were all locked in, due to the fact we had microphones and stuff in there.

All the doors had to be screwed down.

And the dog went mad. There was nothing anyone could do about it.

The poor lads were somewhat peeved by the time we managed to open the doors.

There wasn't much left of their clothes.

- We had to replace the dog. - We replaced the dog with...

With a white one with makeup on it.

Yes, as my assistant later referred to:

"Thank God the bitch didn't mind being given a black eye each morning."

Because it was an albino dog...

...but it had a much more suitable temperament than Bo.

You haven't heard the last of the Bo stories.

Later on, Bo moves off rape and just sticks to pure violence.

How'll we explain this to Brick Top?

That his fight isn't gonna happen?

We replace the fighter.

I was always very keen on the idea of that Lancaster bomber behind Jason.

I like the idea that...

Those two scenes were stuck in later on.

...and The Gun shot himself.

Oops.

I liked the idea of Turkish remembering his grandfather...

...by having a Lancaster bomber behind his desk.

I don't know why it tickled me, but it did.

- How much you gonna pay us? - 10 K.

Me bollocks. Lose more than that running for the bus.

We had some fun shooting this scene.

We sort of... I think this might be one of the first scenes we shot with Brad.

It was.

The left of the screen, I found a bit empty.

I wish I'd filled it up with another couple of travelling folk.

We should point out how Flemyng does try to steal every shot.

Yeah, it got called "doing a Flemyng." He coined the phrase, Flemyng.

- There he is. - If you notice, he's full in frame.

This is the man that turned up to take a couple of photos, and look at him.

He's passing photographs around in front of the camera now.

He's talking in Brad's ear. You notice Brad ducked his head away there.

Frightened of having his ear taken off.

I thought this flute was just the coolest shit ever.

I didn't really want to waste it on a scene as short as this.

- I'd like to make a whole film with flute. - Is this Murphy playing?

No, it's one of Murph's men.

That guy can play a flute. I just think the flute is the coolest shit ever.

- Oh, the dog fight. - Yeah.

I was always repelled by stories of dog fights...

...but I was also very interested in the fact that...

That's a real dog on the floor.

Of course, it's dead. We'd got it when it was dead.

It's a very complicated process going on with stuffed dogs...

...because after they die... Never mind, horrible things take place.

But anyway, we wanted a dog that looked like a real dog...

...however quick it was, the shot.

Anyway, I was interested in the world of illegal boxing and dog fights.

The two don't necessarily go hand in hand with one another...

...but I tend to find that a lot of people are into one, are into the other.

It's a whole subculture.

And these places do exist.

You bet your bollocks to a barn dance you're not backing out.

We're changing the fighter.

Oh, fuck me...

You can fully appreciate Alan Ford's dentistry at this point.

- But he's mustard. - Mustard?

"I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm Hard' Bruce Lee."

You can't change fighters.

That was just a line I made up on the spot.

I was quite pleased with that one.

Yeah. What's great about Alan is that he at least manages to say the dialogue.

On Lock, Stock, I wrote some brilliant pieces of dialogue that a certain actor...

- ...couldn't remember. - He is a bit of class, he really is.

It's the difference between working with someone that's as professional as he...

...and working with people as unprofessional as my producer.

I have gotta give you a bit of ying and yang.

And I shall be under it when it breaks.

Now, fuck off.

Sorry about all the language in that scene, I do apologise for that.

There's an extra in the back who looks like a walrus. Where did he come from?

Socks was a last-minute idea.

Stars and Stripes on the coffee cup there...

...and Union Jack on the socks.

Didn't Maurice-Jones piss you off the way he shot these things?

- How? - Since it gave you no room for editing.

Oh, God! Oh, it drove me mad.

Maurice-Jones, my DP. We came up with some ideas on Lock, Stock...

...to have these split screens.

It's impossible then to edit the scene, because you put some...

Anyway, he gave me the latitude on the last film in order to edit it.

I promised I wouldn't, and of course I did because it was too long.

And on this one, he made it as such, it's a slippery trick he pulled...

...made it as such that I couldn't edit the scene or cut it down at all.

He put black tape down the camera, which I only found out afterwards...

"Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck!"

So there was nothing I could do about editing that scene.

Now, this was an idea we came up with on the spur of the moment...

...the "Sit down!"

Just because I've always found the transit thing extremely boring.

- So we committed to a very speedy... - Cheap, as well.

- Which I was happy about. - Yes.

Imagine how much it would cost to shoot at Heathrow the thing landing.

You think he'll be all right?

All right. What's going on here? Oh, yes.

Anything you'd like to say? I see that your vocal chords are warming up.

No. Give me time.

We were panicking that it suddenly got dark and it wasn't meant to be dark.

- Were we? I wasn't panicking. - Yeah.

You should've panicked. They'd scheduled the whole thing wrong.

- Then we decided it was a long... - It works, doesn't it?

Just.

- It works, doesn't it? - It depends on how smart you are.

It means poor Benicio's been knocked out for eight hours.

- Why? - They knock him out in bright daylight.

It's daylight, and it's not very bright daylight, either.

- It's bright enough. - It's just daylight.

Sometimes it's light at 6 and it's dark by 6:30.

- Have you been knocked out before? - I have, as it happens, yeah.

- How long? - Don't get clever with me, Vaughn.

I'm just saying, if you're gonna get knocked out...

- But it's a fucking film, isn't it? - Exactly.

But I'm the producer, so I gotta be a little bit more practical.

There's my good pal, Mickey Dee.

Is that him?

I don't know. How many fingers did he have?

Sorry, I couldn't get the binoculars out in time.

Well, let's not stand on ceremony, mate. Let's start the show.

- When were you knocked out? - On a few occasions.

Never for very long.

I was very keen on this girl. She was tops, wasn't she?

- Sydney was brilliant. - Sydney. Great girl.

I wish we'd given her more work.

This scene was much longer...

...and I came up with this montage idea when I was hacking the film to pieces.

It was dragging. For some reason, it wasn't as amusing...

...as I'd imagined it to have been.

However, it seems to get remedied with a montage.

Appreciated...

...but all bets...

You don't appreciate the full capacity of Sydney's performance here.

Because she was a bit of class.

...then there can't be any money, can there?

I ain't fucking buying that.

"That's handy, because I ain't fucking selling it."

What have you got?

Nothing, really.

A few coins, but no notes.

Show me your hands.

You've got five fingers.

This is one of the few things I've shot in a studio, isn't it?

It's the only time we've been in one.

- Is it Shepperton? - Pinewood.

- I was quite impressed with... - It's much easier.

There are advantages of shooting in a studio, I must say.

My leg.

What are you moaning about? It didn't even touch it.

There's not one of these instances that hasn't actually occurred in real life.

I just amalgamated a few of these instances into one incident.

What the fuck are you two doing?

Get us out of here.

There's old Brad Pitt looking like Benicio Del Toro again.

Tyrone, what are you doing? Get us out of here!

Who the fuck is this man, Tyrone?

That hat was from Hermès. Very expensive hat there.

In the red corner, we have the young and unchallenged...

Now...

I'll let you articulate some of the pros and cons of this scene, Matt...

...since you seem to have nodded off.

I'm gonna pull your shirtsleeve, wake you up...

...and you can concentrate a little while. How's that?

The biggest problem we had with this scene...

...is we couldn't afford all the extras Guy wanted.

We had to film everything with the camera going this way.

We got all fucking 40 extras, or whatever, on one side.

Every time we turned the camera, all the extras had to run to the other side.

- It made it look like... - A lot.

- Like we could afford 80 extras. - They got pissed off by the end of it.

Guy was really angry about this fat guy because he wanted the boxing to be...

No. Be fair, Matt. He was... There's my man, Mickey Dee.

You tried to replace him with Chopper.

Yeah, Chopper. Chopper was a black fellow we saw earlier.

He's got one of the most amazing physiques I've ever seen.

He's a good lad, isn't he? And we wanted to use him in this scene...

...but things got carried away with us.

That chap just had a bit of a problem falling down realistically.

We were there for about... There's the chap who took "angry pills."

There's a chap in the background who was a real bare-knuckle boxer.

A couple of weeks before a fight, he would take "angry pills."

What "angry pills" consist of, I have absolutely no idea.

But they seemed to do the job. He won.

I got invited to his bare-knuckle fight. I declined.

But he won. And he credited the "angry pills."

Good name for a film or a pop group, "Angry Pills."

- Is that it? - Right, we've just had a break.

There's been a two-minute hiatus while I've been stuffing my face with...

...the most disgusting chocolate bar I've ever tasted.

We've just had the men in suits in here...

...telling us we're saying the wrong things and can we say the right things?

To start talking technically.

So, I'll let you take over at this point, Vaughn.

We've got a list of talking points. One of them says "Origin of project.

How and when did this project begin?"

Guy had the idea. Guy, where did your inspiration for this movie come from?

Don't go and hand it back to me straightaway.

Let's have a look at this list, shall we?

The length of time from concept to release was about 14 months.

- I was letting you think. - It's all right, I've thought.

Do you wanna let me get on with it? You asked. Do you want an answer or not?

- Yes, please. - "Origin of project.

How did the project begin? Length of time from concept to release."

I suppose I started thinking about it pre-Lock, Stock...

...or about the same time as Lock, Stock.

I'd say in the post-production of Lock, Stock.

Okay. I wanted to get on with making another film...

...and I heard so many stories whilst I was making Lock, Stock...

...that I felt as though there was a second film to be made in this genre.

That was really the... That's the origin of the project.

And you got very interested in the whole Jewish...

Yeah. I was going out with a Jewish girl at the time...

...and I loved their family and they were all incredibly good to me.

The nuances...

Yeah, I loved the way they had this subcultural thing going on...

...and how good they were to one another and how hospitable they were.

It may not reflect that in this film...

...but that's where the idea came from for using the whole Jewish thing.

And Hatton Garden, I find, the diamond dealing area, an interesting world.

We cut that scene. I was a bit miffed about that.

It was a long scene where Boris the Blade starts singing in Russian...

...about how he misses his lover in Latvia.

- I never saw that. Really? - Yeah.

It was the ironic juxtaposition of Boris singing...

...about how he misses his Russian in Latvia, whilst butchering Benicio's...

- Leg. - ...arm off.

It had an interesting quality to it. Anyway, so we move on.

One point, I never understood why...

The men in suits are wagging their fingers at me, pointing at the paper.

Why is the kettle on before he's arrived?

That's the idea. He walks in and is thinking, "I'll make a cup of tea."

- He walks in and the kettle's on. - Yeah, I know.

But he doesn't see... They're in there, having made a cup of tea.

All right, so he never sees... Never mind.

He was in there and saw that they're making tea. A bit of a jump there, lads.

If anyone was paying attention. Notice Jason just walked 30 feet...

...in about a millisecond.

This was because we cut the scene down.

Go and put the kettle on.

Some good dialogue got cut out. What was it?

- I won't repeat it now. - Just use it for the next one.

Yeah. It was some good dialogue.

He's just finishing up.

This is the remnants of the song about his lover he's had to leave in Latvia.

Okay?

In the director's cut, they should stick that whole thing in.

It's indulgent, but if you wanna learn a song about a lover in Latvia...

...it's a great place to start.

- "Motherfuckers!" - Bit of class, Rade.

That was inspired by the idea that Rade had seen lots of American movies...

...and heard the word "motherfucker" loads of times.

When he really wanted to sound mean, he would say "motherfucker."

I wanna use the pikey.

All right. Of course.

Of course, fucking of course.

I wasn't asking, I was telling.

Anyway, back to... What am I supposed to...? "Story."

- Yeah... - It's the film.

You're looking at that, aren't you? That's on the list.

I mean, the story just came up from the origin of the project.

I just felt that there was another story to be told in this genre.

"Screenplay." Isn't the screenplay the same as the story, Matt?

It's just the way you wrote it, so it's pretty obviously the same.

The men in suits are getting repetitive on this piece of paper.

- Just trying to be thorough. - Okay. "Cast."

What would you like to say about the cast?

- The casting process was interesting. - Well, go on, then.

- It's very hard, casting a film with you. - Why is that, then?

Because you hate virtually every poor actor that we bring in.

Guy is, for the benefit of the movie...

- I'm not unique. - No, you are unique.

- A director's point of view there. - A lot of directors aren't as thorough.

When it comes to balancing credibility and acting ability.

They'll go more for acting ability than what will make an interesting film.

Have you...? Have you...?

Those young kids are going through wallets...

...that they've found somewhere.

They go through credit cards. A little embellishment.

He's coursing.

What's coursing?

Coursing is something that...

You'll give Gareth Wigan a heart attack if you start talking about coursing.

Are you all right, Matt? Calm down, that's a good lad.

Right. Hare coursing is something that travelling folk do participate in.

Travelling folk are visceral in their approach to life, which I'm a fan of.

I love the way they're still in touch with nature...

...and that they're a rough old bunch of lads.

They're really into hare coursing and have lurchers, dogs that chase hares.

Very into country sports that have a lot to do with horses, ponies...

...and hares and dogs.

It's one of their interests, so I wanted to use it.

Bit rude there, I know, but there you go.

We did have some fun shooting this scene.

This was almost... Well, it wasn't, actually.

Jason Flemyng seems to have wormed his way back into the picture again.

I don't know what poor actor got a kidney punch for him to have...

- Moved to one side. - Yeah.

It's amazing how he always ends up next to Brad Pitt.

Where's the judo guy? Danny.

Jim, Judo Jim. Check out his ears...

...once the camera goes to the left a bit.

He's got some fantastic cauliflowers in his ears.

He's got a great grip on him, Judo Jim.

Have I made myself clear?

It's Flemyng doing that thing with his eyebrows.

- Roger Moore training. - Looks like Neanderthal Man.

Taking it all very seriously. There's Judo Jim, a quick flash of his ears...

...just in between Jason and Tommy.

There's the ear. Perfect shot.

"Fucker."

I think Brad intentionally stood on the dog.

He'll bet you for it.

What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?

They're all good lads, these are.

- Except one of the actors in the back... - Complained.

Well, yeah. He tried to sue us for inclement weather on the day.

As you can see, the weather doesn't seem to be particularly inclement.

For England, it's good. For Croydon, even better.

He tried to worm a few more pounds out of the producer.

- Needless to say, he didn't get them. - But he tried.

We had to bring him back for re-shoots with these chaps...

...and every time, he found something to complain about.

It's the only time we've ever really had an actor get tricky with us.

We're on!

Bit of class, Brad in that scene. I'm happy with Brad there, I must say.

We did have a laugh during that one.

I think this is one of the few scenes that I operated the camera on.

- Which bit? - This. The side of the car.

- What, the fixed-camera shot? - Fucking shut your mouth.

Smart-ass. No one likes a smart-ass, Vaughn.

- I'm the producer, so... - Ah, the hare!

You'll be pleased to hear that the hare did actually get away in this scene.

This did cause some controversy back home in the U.K.

We had various animal rights campaigners...

- Who had nothing better to do. - ...picketing on Vaughn's doorstep.

In fact, they were best of friends, dog and hare.

They're just frolicking in the fields, having the best of times.

Of course when the dogs actually catch the hare, they lick the hare.

Tickle it with its teeth.

They're not complaining about them biting Ade. It's ridiculous.

Ade is paranoid about being a grass now, in public.

He complained about... He tried to... Well, I'll keep that out.

- Shepherd's pie, I had, you know. - I can smell, don't worry.

Didn't know the Americans ate shepherd's pie, did you?

- I didn't, actually. - It's very good, as it happens.

- Where did you have it? - Just down the road.

I'll give you the address if you'd like to come back and buy some later.

Put that bit in for the Americans. Jason does need the work.

He's trying.

I loved all this stuff in the green fields...

...as opposed to the pink fields.

- Is it all natural light? - Yeah, this is all...

No, I think someone is down there with a stick of "fluorry."

We shot this three different ways. At one point, I had it all cut...

...so you go from field to car, field to where else did we shoot it?

I can't remember, but it was an interesting effect...

...that unfortunately just didn't work.

There's old Goldie again.

You mistake him for a rabbit?

- What do you want me to do? - Sort it out.

Right. "Shooting schedule."

I'm again being pointed at by the men in suits.

They are telling me to talk about the more officious side of filmmaking.

It was an efficient schedule. Shot in eight weeks and no complaints.

So it was good.

We probably could have taken a week off this...

...by all the stuff that we got rid of in the end.

Which I hold myself responsible for.

Not that I hold myself responsible for many things.

But we could make the decision in the cutting room instead of making war.

We probably could have reduced it by a week or so.

We shot Lock, Stock in six. Six is hard, seven would be.

Yeah. It was painful, Lock, Stock was painful.

Do you know who I am?

The men in suits seem to have...

They said it'll enhance the value of the DVD sales by having extra scenes on.

- Thank you, guys. - Thank you, chaps.

Nice to have someone else talking, joining in with us.

Sounds like God.

- Is that how you think God sounds? - Yeah.

- Has God spoken to you before? - He said, "Make Lock, Stock."

Apparently, the best thing to do...

...is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

It's a true story. I heard it off a couple of chaps...

- That used to do it. - Well, I don't want to...

You said "chaps."

I think they knew people that used to do it.

One of them, at a very young age, he did this for a living.

He used to get rid of bodies.

And all the old clichés of being poured in...

...when they re-lay roads, they call each other up and say:

"Have you noticed down in wherever that they're laying a new road?"

They called each other up and said that there's a road being laid.

And any bodies they had to get rid off, they'd just drop in.

The same goes for whenever a motorway overpass was being put up.

They'd all call each other up again.

The most popular way of getting rid of the bodies was to feed them to pigs.

This dialogue isn't quite right. It's my fault.

But you have to shave their heads, take out their fingernails...

...and take out their teeth, because pigs...

- Before you feed them. - Or you can do it afterwards, of course.

But no one wants to go sifting through pig shit.

But pigs can't digest. Well, they can, but...

...it will come out the other end. Whole fingernails, teeth and hair.

Which are the only things you can identify the body by.

So they'd have to gather these items together, mash them up...

...and scatter them. That's it, you'll never know any more about it.

If you just bury someone in a road, you can dig the road up again.

Once you've fed someone to the pigs, that was it, mate.

Because they do eat the bones and everything.

This was an interesting scene. We weren't sure how to play it.

Half of us wanted to do something really funny, to have:

Have a German oompah band playing, which had a different...

- It made you laugh. - It did make you laugh, yeah.

But I thought that I should be taken seriously as a filmmaker...

...so we did something serious. This is a scene we cut down a lot.

There used to be two different scenes.

The whole story about Bullet Tooth Tony followed this scene.

- Or came before it, I can't remember. - Came before it.

And then this scene took place. There were two long scenes.

So you were thinking, "What the hell was that about?"

- Yeah, something like that. - Vinnie looks good with the mullet.

- He looks terrible with a mullet. - I think it looks good, it suits him.

He had one for five years.

Anyway, you like him with a mullet, I don't.

Anyway, we combined these scenes...

...and consequently you get the same job.

This was a little homage to Lock, Stock, Vinnie's debut.

"Bonjour."

Yes, I thought that was quite amusing, that bit.

Why do you think we've got a dead man...

- ...missing an arm in our office? - Talk to me.

"Tell me."

Right. Where are we now, Matt?

We're being waved at again by the men in suits.

"Locations."

"Where/Why chosen?"

Because they were the only ones we could find.

- A lot of it was financial. - Yeah.

- We just... - It was all shot in London.

All shot in London in unused houses that were nowhere very startling.

It was just where we could put a camera up, really.

Call me "Susan" if it makes you happy.

- "Cinematography?" - Tim Maurice-Jones.

In fact, one of these scenes coming up, he's got a lot to answer for.

- Which one? - It suddenly goes very dark.

Not this one, later on. This particular set-up.

It goes pitch black. I hate this office, yeah.

I like that three-shot there.

The design of the office was just dull as dishwater.

We spent so much time in that sodding office.

It's my fault, but when I look back at that office, I kick myself.

It's the truculent Jewish youth hanging out on the street corners...

...looking for some Nazi to kick in.

There's £10 in it for anyone who can understand what he's on about...

...because that ain't in my dialogue, I'll tell you that.

Something about a golden retriever.

How you doing? You all right, mate?

Nice tie.

- We cut this down a lot, didn't we? - Yeah.

Poor Ewen dislocated his shoulder in this scene.

Yeah, he did, poor chap. I was very keen on Ewen Bremner.

He's an actor I'd like to use more in the future.

He did seem rather sensitive. Fragile, that's the word, yeah.

He dislocat... Yeah.

- Jones might have been... - A little bit aggressive.

We all thought he was a very good actor when he was screaming.

Then we realised his shoulder had popped out. Poor guy.

What the fuck you doing, Tone?

Driving down the street with your head in my window.

"You penile arse."

You been using dog shit for toothpaste?

I do think Vinnie has one of the greatest faces for film ever.

I just think he's got a great face. Great delivery.

Oh, I love this track.

Talented young lady, this. We all think she's gonna go far.

We just wanted to assist her on her way up the ladder.

Better not be telling me porky pies.

I tell you, it's two black guys work out of a pawnshop on Smith Street.

- You're looking at the stuntman's... - Head.

There.

Are we taking him with us?

You got rid of the wallet stuff. That was nice. I liked that.

There was lots of lovely embellishments in this scene.

It's a quarter of what it was. I did get a bit carried away.

A Russian?

Well, to be technical, he's an Uzbekistanian.

- I always liked the framing of this. - Yeah, I was very keen.

I think that's a great shot.

This was a scene that we'd given ourselves half a day to film.

And then the first AD told me we had half an hour to shoot it in.

So we managed to get it all in one frame, and just a couple of takes.

This was the first take and by far the best.

I love his shirt.

He's a stubborn bastard. He said he's got to look after his mum.

- Are you taking the piss? - What can I do?

I'm very keen on Pete Wignall, who's my camera operator...

...and Tim Maurice-Jones, who is in charge of photography.

They are a very industrious couple and they very rarely let a shot sit still.

The camera is always in motion.

I'm appreciative of that when it comes to the editing room.

Hello. Go on, son.

I liked the fact that he missed it the first time he went down there.

Bang! The only problem with this...

...is that there seems to be a proliferation of black baseball bats.

Brick Top thought smashing up our arcade...

...might help me to persuade Mickey to fight.

And if that wasn't enough...

I do have various problems with this. I should've... I didn't...

I fumbled my way through both of these scenes, really.

I would've liked to have...

- You don't like this scene? - I do, I just would've liked to...

There should've been more build-up to it...

...and I would've liked to have covered it better.

To have seen the dodgy guys setting fire to the caravan...

...and putting a broom handle through the door so she couldn't get out.

That sort of stuff.

It's quite nice when you cut straight to the point.

I know, but a little build-up would have been nice.

I know what you mean. I like the economy of it...

...but I could've stuck a couple of things in without it getting too busy.

Also, the scene we're about to go back to, with Turkish and Tommy.

I would've liked it to be a more impressive punch-up.

It's amazing. Brad's got a fake nose in this film. You just can't tell.

I don't think you can tell it's different. Can you?

No.

I quite like the framing of "Jesters" above their heads.

This is my favourite line in the whole movie, about to come up.

It's a classic line.

Great tune, that. Massive.

Good tune. I had some miserable experiences...

...dealing with bands during this.

Because all of the people I've idolised as I've grown up...

...all the bands I just think are the business, mostly English bands...

...I approached about helping me out with this film.

And they all ended up hating me one way or the other, didn't they?

It's a very tricky business, artists dealing with one another...

...because you know exactly what you want as a director...

...and they see it a different way. You know, you try and...

Terrible post-sync, but no one could understand what he was saying...

...so we had to.

You tend to fall out with musicians. So I swore I'd never do it again.

The whole musical side of filmmaking, which is so important...

Here we go, Tim Maurice-Jones. It's fucking midnight in there!

- What was he thinking? - He loves it dark, doesn't he?

Well, there's dark and there's midnight. I mean, there's nothing in it.

He was a highly trained undercover agent.

He'll be impossible to track down.

Yeah.

- Anyway, what was I saying? - Music. How difficult it is to get music.

Hopefully, I repaired most of these relationships with the bands...

...but what they gave me I didn't think was suitable for the film...

...and what I then put on, they didn't think was suitable.

They thought we'd arsed them around, but we didn't.

It was a very sensitive situation.

I must say it's much easier if you just find a track...

...and then if you like it, you just try and buy it off them.

The problem is that everyone's looking for a hit single, a new track...

...which means that you've gotta find a new track.

They want established bands.

Then the problem is finding a track to help push the movie.

So I've given up with all that. So I just get the music that I like now.

Because otherwise I just end up pissing everyone off.

- What was that chap's name? - Rosebud was Sam. Sam Douglas.

- Sam Douglas, that's it. He was... - I'm just gonna check that.

A good friend of your family's, isn't he, Matt?

- He is now. - That's nice.

There's a bit of a mistake there, as you can see. The boot was already open.

I should have cut in a bit later.

Poor old Rade got the arse there a bit.

He was pushed around a bit recklessly by Rosebud.

That seems to happen a lot on our films. Remember old Steve Mackintosh?

Yeah, whenever it comes up to being roughed up, people did get excited.

Non-actors didn't realise that you have to act the violence...

...and beat the crap out of the thespians.

- We're coming over. Hold him there. - Hold on!

He's not on his own!

That's the doll's house they're about to walk into, in Perivale...

...that Matt Vaughn didn't turn up for that day.

- The opposite of the Tardis effect. - Yeah.

We shot this scene without sound. This is all sound we put on after.

Which somehow saved it, didn't it? Because it looked kind of like crap.

- They locked Boris in the car. - Why didn't you tell us that?

Did they look hard?

They looked messy.

I'm very keen on Robbie's performance throughout this.

All right.

I think we should get you a new gun.

This is a scene we had some fun writing.

I don't know quite how it ended up working the way it did...

...because we changed the idea so many times, you know.

If I knock something around here, it makes a funny "donging" noise.

It was a scene that, you know, we weren't quite sure...

...how it was gonna come together until we shot it and started editing.

But I'm quite pleased with the way that you bounce between...

- Is that two cars or three cars? - Three cars.

Yeah. I'm pleased with the way it wraps itself up.

- It was hard to edit, though. - It took a lot of faffing around with.

- I quite like the dialogue. - The music helped a hell of a lot.

- I wouldn't say "a hell of a lot." - It contributed.

- It contributed. I'll accept. - Smoothed over.

- You wanted to get rid of that. - What, the actual explosion?

You thought it was too slapstick for a moment.

- Did I? - Yeah.

Yeah, I'm very nervous about putting slapstick in these things.

But the public do love it.

Well, you think they love it just because they laugh, but...

- It's a good sign, though. - It's more positive than negative.

But often when I sit in the cinema and I laugh...

...sometimes I'm laughing thinking, "This is funny, but I can't wait to leave."

There seems to be several different types of laughter.

- Knee-jerk and then there's thinking. - Yeah.

And slapstick, obviously, gets you...

...the cheap version.

Did you see that spike has just shot up between the stuntman's legs?

The concrete hadn't set right. The car was supposed to stop dead...

...on that bollard there.

But unfortunately, the car did what it just did...

...and had that car bounced another foot, it would've gone up his arsehole.

- That's much less than a foot. - It was right on his nads.

It was an inch. I mean, I did not enjoy that.

Oh, God, there was great gasps of, "Poor old stuntman."

We had to pull his legs out from it. Oh! Hello, hello, hello!

A bit of CGI there, helped us out.

- Not much, though. - About 10 frames, or something.

Which is half a second.

That's quite a seamless little accident.

Now, Indian women we don't see enough of in films...

...so I suddenly thought that I'd get a lot of Indian women in this film.

For a brief moment it may have been...

...but there was a factory here that made vinyl records.

There can't be many factories that still make vinyl records.

And there was a lot of Indian women that worked in it.

I'm a big fan of vinyl, I'm a big fan of Indian women...

...so we brought them all out into the street for no sensible reason...

...other than I wanted to get a lot of Indian women in the frame.

Back in Perivale, to the doll's house. Still no Matt Vaughn.

Still driving around aimlessly on the M25.

He's got as many of these nuts as he has those nuts.

I don't care if he's got fucking hazelnuts.

Sunny Perivale.

My God, Tommy, you certainly got those minerals.

"Certainly got the minerals."

This was a scene that wasn't in the script that we tried to get back in.

It was gone and we thought, "Let's film it and somehow get it to work."

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

Because he was dead, originally, and then he wasn't. We couldn't decide.

I would've liked Rade to have been limping in there. That was my mistake.

We shot this before the car crash, not realising how hard he'd get hit.

This is some pub in Lambeth. In fact, we were on such a budget...

...that on the other side of the pub...

...all the punters are in there still drinking away as happy as you like.

During the course of the day, they got so disgracefully drunk...

...that they had to be turfed out. They wanted to get in on the action.

But as you look, there are punters on the other side of the bar...

...getting merrily drunk.

...but unless you give me what I want, there will be fucking murders.

It's one of the first scenes you wrote, isn't it?

Yeah, it was.

- It's a little on the nose, but... - I like it.

- Vinnie was terrified of it. - Yeah, it's a fucking monolithic speech.

I think we cut quite a lot out of it in this, as well.

You're obviously the big dick...

...and that, on either side of you, are your balls.

There are two types of balls:

Right, Matt, I'll let you talk for two minutes.

Because I'm getting bored of the sound of my own voice.

- That's a first. - Funny. Go on, you talk now.

You think of something witty and intelligent to say.

- Well, you know... - Very good, Matt, I like that, yeah.

Good start. Auspicious, that is.

You write me some dialogue, then I will be, won't I?

The budget was very low.

The gentlemen in suits asked the producer to talk about the budget.

- On a serious note... - On a serious note, Matthew?

We might as well try and be serious. I can't joke about budget.

I don't want you to joke about anything. A producer, not supposed to joke.

Thank you, sir. The actual cost of the movie is only 3.6 million.

A lot of people expected us to go all Hollywood and make it for more...

...but we wanted to keep the same crew and atmosphere.

We didn't wanna spoil anyone, and we're all better people because of it.

...should precipitate...

...your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.

- Are you finished, Vaughn? - No, just waiting for you to wake up.

- What did you think of the budget? - I'm surprised it was 3.6 million.

- What did you think it was? - I thought it was three.

- Like to know what happened to the 0.6. - It was spent.

On your Porsche and your useless navigational system?

Exactly.

Lock the door.

Lock it!

I thought we made this for $3 million.

It was certainly the right move for both Vaughn and myself...

...to have made a low-budget second film.

There were very many beguiling offers...

...being made to us in Hollywood at the time.

And, you know, it was Matt and I's dream...

...to have gone off and made something big and revolting.

- A bit short-term if we had, though. - Yeah, it would have been short-term.

So we declined. We've been knocked...

...for making a film that's too similar to the first...

...but I think there's no question that it was the right decision.

Also, it has given us more of an identity.

And we've had two more years experience of negotiating.

It's important you don't... Filmmakers try and reinvent themselves and fuck up.

Don't you think it's been good for us...

...to understand the Hollywood system a bit more?

And the pitfalls of dealing, and being given lots of money.

When you're given lots of money, you relinquish control.

I was very fucking keen on this tune. We're back into the flutes again.

I didn't really want to interrupt this shot at all.

We cut away here to that.

You do need it, but as a single shot it worked beautifully.

He just came in, walked all the way down, nice wide lens.

Walk back with this music. I think it's one of the best shots in the film, this.

I was just taken with it. It was just the simplicity.

People were shocked, because originally we didn't have the Boris.

"Fuck you," all that stuff, and Vinnie comes across as an ogre.

Yeah, it became a funny scene.

For fuck's sake.

It was quite menacing without that. It's really powerful stuff.

It looks good on TV, this film.

Finishing off, it was without a question the right film to have made...

...instead of making a big job.

Hollywood is very good at chewing people up, really.

Yeah. I mean, there's a monster and you need to feed it.

People have jobs and they need to justify them.

It's okay.

Not to say it's all bad.

Okay, we'll bring the dog story up at the appropriate moment.

- I think we're boring them. - Yeah. Sorry, lads.

We've got three-quarters into the film and have run out of witty anecdotes.

I might just start taking the piss out of Vaughn.

How about before you do that, what about the Vinnie Jones story?

The chap that comes up to the window here is a Vinnie Jones look-alike.

You can look him up in Look-alike magazine...

...and Vinnie Jones has a look-alike.

And I must say he don't half look like Vinnie Jones.

You allowed to say why we had to have a look-alike?

Why? What was he doing at the time? He wasn't in prison, was he?

- Recuperating. - Was he?

Remember we had the...

This is the Vinnie Jones look-alike. I had to make him stick his neck back...

...to give him a thicker neck.

Can't you remember Vinnie had a bit of a problem the night before?

Look, just tell him the stone's back at the office.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Vinnie had gotten himself in a bit of trouble the night before.

He wasn't in prison, I'm pleased to say, but we couldn't film him that day.

- He didn't turn up. - Yeah, we got the stand-in.

He's very good at that. The first day of Lock, Stock, he was in prison.

Yeah. He got banged up for biting someone's head.

Of all the parts of someone's body that you shouldn't bite...

...the head is the last thing that I'd bite.

Vinnie tried.

Anyway, Vinnie was in a paper suit in a prison cell somewhere...

...on the first day's filming.

Don't think I haven't thunk about that one.

It's his mum's funeral tonight.

This is one of my favourite scenes. It's a great fucking tune.

I love this scene.

It was fun shooting it. We all got completely drunk filming it.

- Brad got really drunk. - Brad and me got pretty smashed up.

We'd all gotten pretty smashed up, yeah.

...and I imagine we get fed to the pigs.

It's a great tune, this. This isn't on the CD, this?

Why isn't this on the CD? Is it? No. Where?

I've got the CD in my car. I've not heard it.

- It's not on the CD, and it should be. - It's on the new one.

The record industry is worse than the film industry. That's saying something.

Bollocks! I'm going for a walk.

We'll see Maurice-Jones in a moment, doing a white check.

No, he's feeding him a can of lager, actually.

- Oh, is it? I thought... - Yeah.

- What are they called, those things? - Light metres.

Light metre.

The DP is coming in again. Before, he was a Hasidic Jew being battered.

There he is! The man on the left, opening a can of beer.

The only man dressed like he's on a film set, part of the film unit.

The officious men in suits just came in and reprimanded Matthew Vaughn...

...for being the most boring man they've ever had doing a DVD commentary.

Matt took it very well and promised he would tell some very funny jokes.

Now we've started again.

- You've been saved by... - The dog story.

The dog in this scene...

It was told to be excited but then just sat down.

- It wouldn't do anything. - "It'll get excited in a moment."

The dog trainers, of which there were five...

...consoled us that the dog would obey every command we gave to it.

There it goes. It sat there for 20 minutes doing absolutely nothing.

Then the only way you could arouse the dog was to arouse the dog.

So Lennie was given the job of arousing the dog...

...which meant a consistent rubbing motion in the obvious department.

And sure enough, it provoked the desired effect...

...but a little too much so.

As you'll see in a minute.

- The dog's warming up quite nicely. - It wants more.

Even Vinnie tickles it in the right place to get the desired effect.

Now, if you catch the shot of its penis, you'll see that it's fully erect.

Now we're really talking. It's so excited...

...it doesn't know which one to take advantage of.

It'll take advantage of the coat. Now, it takes one look at Lennie.

There we go. Poor Lennie's getting very nervous.

- The next shot is an outtake. - No, it was part of...

There we go. Straight on his nads!

It did get the end of his cock, and the only thing that saved his cock...

Obviously, we shot this 10 different ways.

At this point, if we'd stuck to that scene...

...poor Lennie had his trousers down at his ankles...

...20 people were leaning over him, an ambulance was called...

...and the only thing that saved Lennie's penis was his mobile phone.

And that's a true story.

Which he had in his pocket. There were teeth-marks on it.

Its teeth only got round half his cock and the other were around the phone.

If the phone wasn't there, we would've been miserable.

- His agent was not happy. - Lennie took it like a trooper.

Lennie was all right with it until he got to his agent.

That's why we had to change the dog and start using makeup.

Yeah. Then we got the placid dog.

This was Bo's last day. The actors then refused to work with him...

...after being obviously interfered with...

...in every way that a dog can interfere with someone.

How's the dog gonna find the campsite?

Have you smelled the campsite, Sol?

Yeah. Notice it didn't come out of Matt Vaughn's mouth.

Now, Matt, it's your chance to tell the joke. Go on.

Tell the joke, because the men in suits...

The men in suits want hard facts, that's all they want.

- I can't see jokes. - The viewers want entertainment.

They want some good talking points. We'll talk about the deleted scenes.

- That is interesting. - Enough out of you.

Right. Where did we shoot this scene?

Some dirty little room like every other scene, I suppose.

A lot of this we made up as we were shooting it.

This little drinking joke was just made up on the spot.

A little Brad addition coming in here in a sec.

Brad wanted to appear as more of an earthy character than he already...

- Was. - Yeah.

Mickey!

He put in a line about wanting to have a shite.

Need to have a shite!

He became obsessed with it. We started the film off with him...

- But it does give him an earthy... - Feel.

This was a scene we had to re-shoot five fucking times. I've no idea why.

We kept changing the ending, so we had to get it to work.

There was more on it that we cut out.

- There's my two lads again. - One Eyed Jack and Salt Peter.

One Eyed Jack and Salt Peter, yeah.

- He's got a great voice. - What did One Eyed Jack say?

He always got it wrong.

The ending changed like 10 times, as Matt just pointed out.

We just kept shifting it around.

It just wasn't satisfactory, the original ending.

Is he fucking stoned?

He's like that before a fight.

Do you know when you're going down?

Bit of a mistake. I don't know why we can see the pads on Brad's knuckles.

There wouldn't be any, and there's no reason that we needed to...

Unless he was a cheat.

There's not supposed to be any pads over his knuckles, just tape.

To stop the cuts.

Was it you telling me how bare-knuckle boxing is better than with gloves?

They reckon, I can't remember the statistics, but it's alarming.

Of course, if you get hit by a real fist...

...your fist smashes up before the other person's head smashes up.

With gloves, it does very little to dissipate the punch...

...and of course your fist can carry on pounding the fuck out of him.

The head takes all the punishment, rather than the fists.

- We shot this in two days? - A bit more, three or four.

No, it wasn't four. Maybe it was three.

- There was a lot. So much to cover. - It was three days.

He gave me a heart attack hitting me over the head with a bottle...

...saying, "I didn't know what happened."

That won't mean anything to anyone listening...

...so if you can just save those private anecdotes for afterwards...

...and stick to things that are more entertaining and relevant.

- The referee is Guy's judo teacher. - Yeah. That's Ronnie Isaac.

A bit of a judo man...

- Guy enjoys wrestling with men. - ...who's in charge of this fight.

I did have a bit of fun shooting this, I must say.

It's got more sepia in it, this part of the film, than any other.

- Didn't you tell Maurice to take it out? - Yeah, he took some of it out.

But this is quite warm-looking compared to the rest of the film.

I've only seen this film about three or four times in its completed state...

...which is quite rare for a director.

Because I saw Lock, Stock about a thousand times...

You had nothing else to do.

...before it was completed. This film I saw for the first time in America...

...a month after we finished it. We were doing the sound mix till the last minute.

The first time I watched it was with an audience in America.

And I really enjoyed it. Previously, I had never really enjoyed it...

...and at one stage I thought that I'd made a dog-awful film.

So did Matthew, who kept writing me nasty letters...

...about how unprofessional I was being.

That I should step up to the plate and concentrate on the issues at hand.

Because I don't know what happened, but this film was crap at one stage.

- It wasn't crap. - It meandered fucking everywhere.

It had no point to it.

- It was just an amalgamation. - Wonderful scenes that didn't connect.

This scene always worked brilliantly, though.

John Harris needs a mention for the editing.

Yeah, John Harris. John Harris was the editor.

Both Matthew and I were very pleased with John, who worked day and night.

- First film. - There's many advantages to that.

The chap we had before was a slightly older gentleman.

He was capable but wasn't prepared to put the hours in like John...

...the chap we ended up using.

For John, it was his first film and he had something to prove.

- He was willing to take risks. - He'd take risks.

But he hardly left, did he? He worked in that editing suite endlessly.

And gradually we carved together, I think, a decent film.

But it really was at one stage, wasn't doing it as a film.

There were problems getting music for this scene. This was "Helter Skelter."

Guy loved this track when you heard the Oasis album.

He was sitting on it forever and ever and literally the last week...

...this popped out of nowhere.

We sat for three months wondering what track to use.

I wanted to use this track somewhere else in the film.

Everyone was trying to write music.

It was like they were looking at a different scene.

Yeah, it was just inappropriate.

This is where I fell out with all my musical mentors.

Now, this is something I shot at 800 frames.

Real time is 24-25 frames...

...which you can appreciate is extremely slow.

A special camera called Photo Sonics. It can go to 10,000 frames a second.

There we went 800 frames, and you still retained a lot of information.

It turns one second into 10 minutes, at 2000 frames.

We also nearly lost the underwater stuff. You weren't sure about that.

The underwater stuff was really in the balance.

It didn't make as much sense as...

He's got "Arsenal" on his arm there...

...a tattoo of Arsenal, which is a football team in the U.K.

What I changed it to was, "My mind is my Arsenal."

So we got round that little problem.

So the underwater scene, which we spent a day filming...

Nearly didn't make it.

You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before you...

...because you're too scared to think.

You just freeze and pull a stupid face.

But the pikey didn't. Why?

This is all re-shoot coming up, isn't it?

This isn't. No, this isn't.

It had previously occurred to me...

...that he'd taken the demise of his mother rather lightly.

That was a Hollywood shot we put in the trailer to get people to see the film.

- That's the producer talking. - It's the truth.

...is quite a fucking thing.

We had a bit of fun shooting this.

Didn't something go wrong? That fucking car didn't turn up.

You wanna do something about your language.

You're F-ing all over the place.

You've sworn more than I have on this.

- What were you saying about a car? - It's coming up in a moment.

Remember the black car, Sting's Land Rover?

We sat there for five hours on a tight schedule with nothing to do.

Boring story, Matt. Can't you think of something more entertaining?

I'm trying to make you look better.

Pete, talk to me.

It's Flemyng, who again turned up to take some photographs...

...somehow managed to end up holding a shotgun.

And then got scared.

- Give me that fucking shooter. - I'll give you your shooter, you cunt.

Great riff, this. "Shoot you, you cunt, you."

That's Tim Maurice-Jones sitting in the front.

The director of photography posing as a heavy.

That's why the bastard never goes down when he's supposed to.

That's Judo Jim with the ears.

That's not Brad Pitt walking away.

That's some other character we used in the re-shoots.

It was your idea, that scene, Matt. I must say it was a good idea.

He doesn't have very many, but that was a better one.

It's best to have a few which are good, than many which are crap.

Oh, fucking hell, I must remember that.

- Astounding statement, that. - I know.

I try to please.

He ain't fucking here, that's for sure.

We can't ask a man to fight for us if we can't find him, can we?

You won't find a pikey that doesn't want to be found.

Now, this is shot several months later, isn't it?

- Yeah. - There are no leaves on the trees.

This was the new ending. The ending before just wasn't doing it.

The same with Lock, Stock. I shot an ending and thought it was shit.

But I found it's a good idea to tap an ending on, go away, cut it...

...then come back and stick a more appropriate ending on.

I love these guys. I always hate English coppers in films.

Somehow, they look out of place.

There's a series we got in the U.K. called The Sweeney...

...where all the coppers look like villains. And I like that.

The '70s English policeman looks like a villain, the '90s one doesn't.

- And these lads looked a bit dodgy. - And fat.

Which they thought was a vital requirement.

The policemen were overweight.

They just sort of look like hard-working coppers.

- This is the fake Bo. - Yeah, the good-natured dog.

- As you can tell, because... - She wags her tail.

Yeah, she's having a great time.

Tommy's thumb disappeared up the dog's behind at this point.

Which, if it was the real Bo, he'd have lost several fingers...

- It was good makeup. - ...and other appendages.

Could you tell me...

...why you got a dead man with an arm missing in your boot?

Hey, George.

Explain the tea cosy thing.

Yeah, the tea cosy thing is earlier on.

Benicio Del Toro with a tea cosy on his head, before he got shot.

That's a scene which was extracted from the film...

...so maybe that line goes awry there.

Then we're back to the beginning.

It's been relatively painless, this session, hasn't it?

- Yeah. - We've sort of flown by.

We have to talk over the credits. I don't know what to say.

Sony insisted that we show that the dog didn't get hurt.

- Probably a good idea. - It made sense.

It sort of makes sense.

Studios are really not into having dogs shot or hurt in any way.

I'm gagging to make a film just about cat killing and dog killing!

Well, there you go, chaps.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed making it.

Sorry about the producer and his unwitty anecdotes.

But thanks for joining us and good luck.

And if you want any advice on making films, don't.

We can do without the competition. Cheers, lads. Cheerio.