Original subtitles

This is going to be yours.

I want you to document all of the events

that you see today.

Why, what's about to happen?

We have a slightly higher dose.

You don't have to take it, but it is safe.

L'Chaim.

You came to this retreat

because I had an affair with your husband.

When I woke up this morning, you know what I thought about?

Painting my house.

Maybe getting a dog.

Definitely taking you out to dinner.

-I think she's with him. -I want you to tell me why.

You know why, Mom.

What do you want?

I just want my son back.

I can arrange that.

Mom.

Mom.

Mama.

Lillian!

It's not enough you steal him?

You steal my kids, too?

-You take them to Italy! -Carmel. Carmel.

You make them love you and call you mom?

You make them love you and call you mom? -I am their mother! -Carmel!

-I am their mother! -Carmel!

I am their mother!

-I am their mother! -Carmel, stop! Carmel!

I am their-- I am their mother!

I am their mother! Do you hear me?

Careful. Careful with her.

I was confused.

I thought you were Lillian.

I made a mistake.

I'm sorry.

I don't-- I don't-- it was--

-I saw something, and I-- -Jesus.

I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry.

Taking a fucking drug to bring Zach back?

She's done it before.

She did it with me. You saw it.

Yeah. What I saw was terrifying.

I'm not okay.

The prospect of me ever...

being okay without him is...

Now, if Masha can give me a world with Zach in it--

But it would be a delusional world.

I know. But I--

if I could feel him,

if I could be with him sometimes,

I can go on.

I can be me.

Dad, come-- please help me out. Please.

-I'm not sure she's wrong. -What?

Well, it's like she says, if we could feel him, be with him,

the four of us all together again,

I mean, wouldn't that...

Even if it's an illusion.

-Also-- -Also what?

I think in order for this family to have a chance,

I'm going to need to be able to forgive your mother,

and I'm not sure that I can-- can do that right now.

Maybe your brother can help me with that.

You can't blame her. Be reasonable.

Yeah, well, Zoe,

reason is no match for pain.

And I'm definitely not any match for mine.

Not even close.

You both need help.

I do. I need help.

This can't be the way.

I've tried everything else.

I actually thought you were her.

Lillian.

I saw these...

horrible, horrible...

images.

I'm sorry.

-I'm so sorry. -It's okay.

-It's okay, right? -Yeah. Yes.

It's not okay. It's not okay.

I'm strapped to a gurney like I'm in a fucking insane asylum!

Maybe that's where I belong.

Oh, God. What is happening to me?

I'm a nice person.

-I promise. -Yeah. Lapochka.

Don't call me that. Don't you fucking...

-Okay. -...call me lapochka!

I don't even know what it means.

I shouldn't be on this stuff. I'm on-- I'm on psychotropics.

I shouldn't be on this stuff. I'm on-- I'm on psychotropics. -This is a bad mix. It's a bad mix. -No, you're all right.

-This is a bad mix. It's a bad mix. -No, you're all right.

I have to go. I have to go to my daughters.

I have to go to my daughters.

-Your daughters? -Yes. My daughters.

My daughters. You fucking bitch, they're my daughters, Lillian!

-I fucking hate you! -Carmel.

-Carmel. Carmel. -I hate you!

How did she look?

She looked like she was strapped to a gurney.

I mean, I just feel like everything is starting to slide sideways.

I'm gonna go and find her.

I'm just feeling very odd.

And I don't mean just high.

I mean, like very, very weird in a new kind of way.

-Is that just me? -I feel tingly.

Yeah, yesterday I was on all fours looking for my nose.

You might have gotten off easy

'cause I'm starting to see myself with no head.

-What do you mean no head? -I think it's a version of something

that used to happen when I was a kid.

I had migraines. I took this very strong medication,

and sometimes I thought I saw people without a head.

And now I'm seeing myself with no head.

Hey.

What do you say we get out of here?

Paint that house.

Get that dog.

You like Labradoodles?

Yes, I do. They're hypoallergenic.

Look, I know you've been burned before, but this is different.

I'm real. This is real.

I wanna wake up beside you every morning

and fall asleep beside you every night.

I wanna know you. All of you.

Your smell,

you secrets, your desires.

Now and forever, my sweet, sweet Francesca.

Those were my words. It was from my first book.

I've never had anyone quote me back to me.

That's-- yes, Tony.

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

Why are you holding my hand?

Fuck. I can't remember if I had my smoothie.

Fuck. I can't remember if I had my smoothie. I haven't had my smoothie. Did you guys have your smoothie?

I haven't had my smoothie. Did you guys have your smoothie?

Fuck these fucking smoothies.

What-- what-- are you okay?

Yeah. I'm just gonna go check on something.

-It's okay. -I should have predicted this.

Masha. Masha, she tried to strangle you to death.

It's not something you can predict.

I will adjust her dosage.

This was really violent.

What should we do with her?

Well, I think...

we'll have to put her in confinement

and let her settle down, and then we'll evaluate her.

And the Marconis, what's the game plan there?

-Masha. -Exactly the same.

Hey. Lars. I need you to leave please.

If I'm writing this story, I need full access

to everything that's going on here.

It's fine.

As long as you promise to behave yourself.

You sedated her?

For her own safety, because she is under the delusion

that I am her ex-husband's new wife.

We mis-dosed. It will be corrected.

You've mis-dosed before.

That doesn't sound like a question.

I know a guest died last year.

His wife thinks you killed him.

You're an excellent reporter, Lars.

Thank you.

You wanna tell me everything you know?

I know that Aaron Connolly died right here on the premises.

Yes. He had too many cheeseburgers.

Had a heart attack.

Well, his wife disagrees.

You're here on her behalf?

The magazine and mine.

I mean, good story's a good story. Made better by you.

I need some straight answers here.

Why are you in the bathroom together?

Lars, would you give us a second, please?

What are you doing with Tony's dosage?

Why? What has he done?

He told me that he wants to paint his house

and buy a dog and take me to dinner.

So his doom is just suddenly, what, replaced by optimism?

So his doom is just suddenly, what, replaced by optimism? I mean, that's either-- that's either because

I mean, that's either-- that's either because

of the mushrooms or because of me.

And I would like to know which one it is.

I mean, I've never had a man say that he'd wanna do domestic chores

or get some kind of home animal.

I just need to know that it's-- it's not the drugs talking.

It's Tony talking.

But you don't know that. You don't know that.

Do you-- you don't know that, and...

God, why am I-- also, do you know why I'm so sweaty?

Maybe that is Tony, too. Or it could be fear.

Fear of being heartbroken.

Fear of becoming a character in the wrong story.

I'm-- I'm not gonna let that happen.

That's why I'm checking now, to avoid that happening.

But you don't wanna just flip to the end of the book, do you, Frances?

That's no fun.

So, Tony sees a dog. He sees a house.

What do you see, Frances?

What do you see?

I see myself without a head.

And twice I saw myself little.

Not like little, like Paul Drabble little.

Like I can't dance in a toilet.

But, I mean, like a little girl.

Like how you saw yourself as a little girl riding your bike.

Like how you saw yourself as a little girl riding your bike. I saw myself like 10, maybe 11 years old.

I saw myself like 10, maybe 11 years old.

I just looked out and was like, "Yeah, that's me."

-And? -And she's funny.

Yeah, she's funny and brash. You know, full of confidence.

Swagger even, you know?

And... I was certainly something.

I really was. And then I realized, I was like,

"Oh." Bit by tiny little bit,

life just chipped away at that great girl.

I think now I see myself for who I am now,

which is...

less, quite a bit less than what I was.

'Cause I was fearless.

And now I-- I'm just--

Oh, I'm just afraid.

Everybody is afraid, Frances.

Look around you.

Everybody's afraid.

Are you afraid?

I'm terrified.

-Sorry. -Is she mad at me?

No. No. She's-- she's fine.

I think I hit her hard.

Masha has nine lives, okay? We're only worried about you.

You locked me in here.

Just-- just until you're feeling better, okay?

I'll be back soon to check on you.

You're seriously defending the idea?

Not defending. Just open to it.

She's not a real doctor.

For her to be prescribing this amount of drugs is dangerous.

Zach's asthma medication was prescribed by a real doctor.

People are mis-dosed, misdiagnosed all the time.

I mean, the opioids that turned Tony

into an addict were prescribed by a doctor.

The argument could be made that it's the real doctors that are killing us.

Okay. So, you are defending it.

There you are. Hey, honey, can you come with me?

There you are. Hey, honey, can you come with me? I wanna talk to you and your parents about our journey today.

I wanna talk to you and your parents about our journey today.

Yeah, I-- I really don't think it's a good idea.

That's why I wanna talk. Come.

Come.

Great.

Zoe doesn't wanna be included.

Really?

Zoe...

you are the dominant player here.

Your ability to see him facilitates everyone's.

-How? -Because the human brain

can transfer delusions,

especially with people who are suffering from...

from common trauma.

I can increase the odds with the drugs.

And what drugs are you planning on giving us?

Proprietary blend of psilocybe azurescens, DMT, LSD.

-LSD? -It's safe.

-I thought it was just mushrooms. -Totally safe, I promise you.

And what exactly-- what-- what exactly is gonna happen to us?

A lot.

Your emotions, your-- your mood,

basically all of your senses are gonna be overcome.

You are gonna see sounds, you're gonna hear smells,

you're gonna taste colors,

you're gonna see with your eyes shut.

Is that what we need?

You're gonna see your imagination beyond the outside world.

And if successful, you are gonna see your son.

And if you don't like it,

I will bring you back.

Have you ever done something like this with a guest?

Yes, I have. Once.

-Was it-- -Successful. Changed his life.

So, we will meet here at 4:00, which is less than an hour.

Right? Will you hold your parents' hands, Zoe?

Okay.

All right.

And off we go.

Come on. We need to taper everybody off with the exception of the Marconis.

I am going to take over with them.

So, you just keep monitoring Carmel.

And Delilah, go and find the others, yes?

And Delilah, go and find the others, yes? And amuse them. Find Glory. Do the 5Rhythms.

And amuse them. Find Glory. Do the 5Rhythms.

Whatever is needed. Just keep them occupied.

Whatever is needed. Just keep them occupied. Masha, the dosage with the Marconis

Masha, the dosage with the Marconis

-is already too high. -No.

This is not up for discussion.

This is not up for discussion. I would like to make it a discussion.

I would like to make it a discussion.

You'll forgive me for not speaking Russian.

You have always preached control.

And I am in control.

Not to worry. Not to worry.

Where's Carmel?

She's in lockdown.

She had a bad reaction, but we got it covered.

You got it covered?

What about you and me, do you have that covered?

-Delilah. -I meant what I said about us.

We don't have a chance as a couple with Masha in the mix.

Are we leaving or not?

-That's what I thought. -We're leaving. Just not today.

It's not safe for the others if we leave now.

Yao, this is not safe.

Somebody's gonna get hurt again.

There you are.

Why are you wearing a robe in here? It's-- it's pretty hot.

Oh, I thought I took this off. I thought I hung it.

I remember hanging it up, but...

I thought I could maybe come in here and sweat out

some of the toxins and the mushrooms in the sauna.

I'm feeling sort of...

jumbled, or actually very...

jumbled lately about myself and my thoughts

and most all of my decisions. I...

I think my meter is broken.

Because when someone seem so nice and-- and good,

it turns out I'm always wrong.

I think now I should know that there's--

I think now I should know that there's-- there's people that I shouldn't trust.

there's people that I shouldn't trust.

People, huh?

People like who?

People like me?

I didn't know Paul Drabble was Paul Drabble

until it was too late.

So, how would I know that you're not a Drabble?

Okay. Listen to me, Frances.

My kids don't talk to me, okay?

I-- I haven't spoken to most of my family in years.

The people who should love me, they don't even bother

returning my phone calls.

And I've been more honest with you than anyone I've ever met.

Maybe the problem is that you know too much.

I did the math.

I think when I consider the damage of you

and the damage of me, and that equation of us...

together, I...

I don't wanna walk that plank...

because either that...

wouldn't work out or it would, and I...

I don't know which one's worse.

Wow.

Well, it's not the worst thing anyone has ever said to me,

but it's pretty close.

Good one, Frances. Good one.

Masha wants you to take this.

We made it here. It'll calm you down.

Are you gonna lock me in here again?

You-- you'll feel better once this kicks in, okay?

Will you ask her to...

come see me?

Please. I just...

I just need to know that she doesn't hate me, okay?

Hey, Carmel, she doesn't hate you, okay?

Take it.

It will calm you down.

Okay.

Thank you.

-Do you remember that song? -I do.

I love that song. I didn't like the verse.

The driver on the bus says, "Move on back."

I just thought that was far too...

authoritarian. I did love the last verse, 'cause it went...

Just looking at you.

Cool.

I've been thinking, right? So...

-Yeah. -Like, change.

A lot of the times, people really don't know what it is they want.

They might think they want a new house,

new car,

but what they actually want is just different.

What do you mean?

What do you mean? You think 'cause it's the money, all the shit that comes with it.

You think 'cause it's the money, all the shit that comes with it.

Maybe it's something else.

Maybe it's me.

How could you possibly think that?

You're not happy in the place that you're at.

I'm in that place, so...

I don't know. Maybe it's me.

You're so wrong.

You're so wrong.

We should renew our vows.

Are you proposing to me right now?

Kinda.

-I do. -You do?

I do.

-I love you. -I love you, too.

What made you think about that song?

-This place. -What about it?

Well, first it was Heather.

And then Carmel.

I think the wheels...

are starting to fall off.

-But where would you go? -I don't know, but I can't stay here.

How can you just leave our guests?

Yes. We made a commitment to take care, but--

Guest is first.

And my two lieutenants huddled whispering.

What is wrong with this picture?

The Marconis are scheduled for 4:00.

So find Glory, tell her to bring the protocol to the refractory.

-All hands on deck. -Can I talk to you for a second?

-Now is not good. -Actually,

now would probably be the exact right time.

Walk with me.

So, I have some not-so-minor concerns.

Yes. With what?

You told them it was highly successful.

The last time you dosed a guest with this mixture, it was Aaron Connelly.

-We are back to him? -And I presume

you wanted to connect him with his dead brother.

-And I did. It was very successful. -He died, Masha.

Of a heart attack from a preexisting condition,

not from my dosage.

The Marconis are all healthy people.

I couldn't have selected three healthier people,

so there are no health concerns whatsoever.

Well, I also wonder whether you're using them

Well, I also wonder whether you're using them for your own personal gain,

for your own personal gain,

and I'm not talking about the profile of Tranquillum.

Look, I did a deep dive on you before I came here.

I know your history. All of it.

This isn't about the Marconis finding Zach, is it?

This is more about you connecting with somebody else.

You're very good at what you do, but you're wrong.

You're crossing the line with the Marconis.

I advised you to observe and to document.

If at the end of the day, you think I crossed a line,

-fine, we'll discuss it. -Unless it's too late.

I know what I'm doing, Lars.

Get onboard or leave the property.

Hey. What's going on?

What's going on is I am out of here.

No. No. You can't now. Not today.

Yes, now. Especially today. I'm going to the police.

The Marconis are good people who-- who lost their kid,

The Marconis are good people who-- who lost their kid, and she is preying on them.

and she is preying on them.

It is sad and it is dangerous, and I don't wanna be a part of it.

And I don't know how you can be. This is it. It is happening now.

You're just gonna leave our guests? You're gonna leave me?

Not if you come with me.

Yeah.

-Just-- just wait. -I'm done waiting.

Masha!

-Zoe. -Frances is on the peak.

I-- I called out to her, but she wouldn't answer.

It looked like she was gonna jump.

Stay here with Glory. It'll be fine.

How are we doing?

Mezza, mezza. You?

We had a rule. No water, no high places.

I wasn't gonna jump, if that's what you're thinking.

What did you come here for?

I don't know. I saw myself running here.

-I decided to follow. -Your younger self?

I had a head this time.

-Well, that's good news. -I guess.

-Shit. -Yeah.

-Don't you look over. -I can't look. I hate heights.

My dad died when I was really young.

Mine, too.

I'm sorry.

-How old were you? -I was nine.

I was ten.

I think that's when I started eroding.

Pretty sure.

He liked golf.

He used to use this terrible golf expression,

"Never up, never in."

Said it all-- used it in his life.

He applied it to everything. Never up, never in.

-Never up, never in. -Never up, never in.

He'd be so...

ashamed of me.

Disappointed.

No, he wouldn't.

I know I'm supposed to move forward.

I get that.

I just don't want to.

I wanna go backwards.

I was better, I was stronger.

I wanna go back...

as that, you know, little girl.

I guess like you, right?

I'm gonna tell you something.

Something I've never really told anyone.

But that little girl who was riding the bike,

that wasn't me. That was...

She was my daughter.

So I was walking. She was riding.

And it was a beautiful day. Very beautiful.

And then suddenly,

it wasn't because...

there was a car and...

and...

and she was-- she was killed.

And I left Russia because of that.

-Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. -Yeah.

What was her name?

Tatiana.

It's pretty.

That time when I was a mother,

when I was her parent, when I was with her,

when I was her parent, when I was with her, that was the only time in my life

that was the only time in my life

when I was truly unselfish, when I wasn't living for myself,

when-- when...

when I liked who I was.

So I know this feeling of wanting to go back,

of wanting to be better, of wanting...

to be-- to be happy.

I mean, you're not nearly as odd as you come off.

I mean, that-- I mean that nicely.

-Neither are you. -People would argue that.

Oh, somebody gets a phone.

Delilah.

The gate won't open.

Of course not.

We're in lockdown for the guest's safety.

-I need to get out. -Why?

We are in lockdown.

-What is lockdown and why are we-- -Where-- where do you wanna go?

I'd like to go out of here. I have had enough.

Okay. Would you meet me in the office?

-In your office? Yes. -No, no. Not you. Not you.

Meet me in the office. We need to discuss this, please.

No. Open the fucking gate, please.

I will not.

-I will not. -Masha,

-open the fucking gate! -I will not.

I will not.

Delilah. Delilah!

Delilah!

-Masha! -Delilah.

Looks like the shit's hitting the fan.

-You knew about this? -I-- I tried to stop her.

What is she doing? Where is she going?

She might be going to the police.

Yao. Why would she do this to us? Why?

I...

I-- I-- I tried to-- to stop her, Masha.

Masha, we're gonna renew our vows.

Excellent!

I'm telling you.

I'm sorry I'm late.

-Is everything okay? -Yes. Yes.

Just playing a little catch up, chasing my tail.

How long does this trip last exactly?

Well, you may not get a lot of sleep tonight.

Well, you may not get a lot of sleep tonight. It's gonna take maybe, uh, 30 to 40 minutes

It's gonna take maybe, uh, 30 to 40 minutes

before you will feel the full effects.

Thank you, Glory.

-Hey. -Great. Glad you made it, Lars.

Now, since Zach appeared in the forest,

that is where we will venture to facilitate.

Masha.

I have to be honest, I'm-- I'm having some reservations.

I-- I really would like to do more research before--

What's the final dosage, Masha?

What are you, a chemist now, as well as a journalist?

It's for the story.

-Okay. -What's-- no, I--

My head's feeling a little funny already.

Maybe I'm not in the right headspace

-to make this kind of decision. -This is not addictive, okay?

Plenty of people every day

in environments far less controlled than this.

And I am right here with you every step.

I-- no, I'd-- I'd like to change my mind, please.

I-- no, I'd-- I'd like to change my mind, please. Come on.

Come on.

All right. To show...

To show you that it is safe...

I am gonna take the journey with you.

-What? -What do you mean?

Glory, would you please give me a glass?

-Wait. What? -Yes.

You're supposed to be our guide.

Oh, yes. I'm gonna be your guide. I'm gonna navigate from the inside.

So, I will be there with you every step of the way.

So, I will be there with you every step of the way. -Masha. -Lars, please, okay?

-Masha. -Lars, please, okay?

And Yao is gonna be the backstop.

We are gonna go together as a family...

to the other side.

Let's go together, to Zach and beyond.

What do you mean, you dosed?

-Are you out of your mind? -Yes. I will be in about 40 minutes.

-Forty minutes? -At which point,

you're gonna be in charge.

-That is not the plan, Masha. -No. No.

Nothing is going according to plan, is it?

So I need you to go and to be with the Marconis.

Take them to the forest.

I am going to talk to Carmel,

and then I will come and find you. Oh, and get the gates repaired.

We must not have anybody else getting out.

Call maintenance. You should never have let her do this.

-You should have stopped her! -I told you I tried.

But you didn't succeed, did you? Did you?

Go. Be with the Marconis, yes?

I will find you.

Carmel.

Carmel.

-Masha. Hi. -Where are you going?

Masha, I-- I think I belong in a real hospital.

I mean, I started my day...

choking you, and I ended it singing "Xanadu". I--

Oh, honey. Come on. It's okay.

Sit down.

-Sit. -I'm so sorry about before.

I wish I could say that it wasn't me, but...

I can say that it's not the me I love.

No. It's my fault.

You can't leave us now. We can make you well here.

With all due respect,

things seem a little nuts though.

I'm not sure that this is...

the right environment for me.

-It's best I go. -Let me tell you,

the medication that I give you, it's far safer,

far more effective than any of the drugs

far more effective than any of the drugs they're gonna pump you full of

they're gonna pump you full of

at some western mental health facility.

But I don't...

I don't...

it's probably...

I don't think it's safe for me to be around you.

You came here to allow yourself to go on a journey,

and you've made wonderful breakthroughs, Carmel.

Please.

Please don't let this incident be the--

be the final chapter for you.

Come.

Oh, how do I make this clear?

It's not safe to be around you.

So...

what now, lapochka ?