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1
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,125
打開天文望遠鏡
2
00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:07,625
掠過三千光年的夜晚
3
00:01:09,042 --> 00:01:10,500
你就能看見我了
4
00:01:12,792 --> 00:01:14,875
開普勒160星系的K星
5
00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:19,500
這兒有跟地球相似的氣候和環境
6
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:23,125
也誕生了跟你們差不多的文明
7
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,125
K星一天只有12個小時
8
00:01:28,917 --> 00:01:30,625
所以我和哥們的暑假
9
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:32,375
總是結束得猝不及防
10
00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:38,625
尤其是一九九九年那一次
11
00:01:44,292 --> 00:01:46,125
排行榜這詞兒是我發明的
12
00:01:46,542 --> 00:01:49,125
它本來是指校工廠煙囪上的這些名字
13
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,000
越靠上
14
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,750
你在學校的地位就越高
15
00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:54,625
所以
16
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在一九九九的暑假結束之前
17
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:00,875
泡泡死也不想再當最後一名
18
00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:03,500
泡泡
19
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:04,625
泡泡
20
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,500
開戰啦
21
00:02:07,917 --> 00:02:09,000
又跟誰啊
22
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,500
就白雪矮人他們
23
00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:11,500
我這就來
24
00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:12,500
太慢了
25
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:13,500
我這有降落傘
26
00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:14,625
接著
27
00:02:17,292 --> 00:02:18,375
這就是一普通雨傘啊
28
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,000
武打片裏都這麼跳
29
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,500
我在這接著你
30
00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:22,250
一
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二
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三
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00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:29,000
泡泡從此再也沒有相信過我
34
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:30,375
他覺得我的大腦
35
00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:32,125
在三年級就停止發育了
36
00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:53,375
都沒事吧
37
00:02:54,042 --> 00:02:55,000
誠勇大哥
38
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完了
39
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,125
我們把排行榜弄倒了
40
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,000
反正我第一名早當膩了
41
00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:10,125
我時常問自己
42
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:11,375
到底什麼樣的女人
43
00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:13,000
才能配得上王誠勇啊
44
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:14,875
奧黛麗赫本
45
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:16,750
可惜去得早
46
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:19,000
白蛇傳裏的白素貞
47
00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:21,000
可惜是個妖怪
48
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,375
但幸好我們還有楊藝
49
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:26,500
全班一半的男生
50
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,125
都在桌子上刻過她的名字
51
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,125
楊藝卻只喜歡誠勇
52
00:03:30,917 --> 00:03:31,750
他們的關係
53
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,375
就像戰場上的烈火
54
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,500
純潔而熱烈
55
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所以
56
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:39,750
誰要敢對楊藝不敬
57
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:42,125
我們就跟他拼到底
58
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:46,375
頂天柱和三個小公主都到了
59
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:50,125
你們哥仨就沒帶點幫手啊
60
00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:52,625
趙長江
61
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:53,750
聽好
62
00:03:54,917 --> 00:03:56,000
楊藝是我的
63
00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:57,375
你要是再敢招她
64
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殺了你
65
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:01,000
自不量力
66
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:11,625
來多少都一樣
67
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,000
長頭髮那妞
68
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:22,500
老爺們打架 你就躲遠點
69
00:04:23,292 --> 00:04:23,875
說誰呢
70
00:04:24,417 --> 00:04:25,375
哥這是陳浩南髮型
71
00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:29,000
小妞聲音還挺粗啊
72
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我是男的
73
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,750
花僊子開始了
74
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:33,500
趕緊回家看電視吧
75
00:05:04,292 --> 00:05:05,250
舅舅
76
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,750
我在工廠 趕緊來救我
77
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,125
你們倆給我等著
78
00:05:10,292 --> 00:05:10,750
等
79
00:05:10,917 --> 00:05:12,375
把你舅姥姥都叫來
80
00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:24,000
大舅 二舅
81
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,000
你們可來了
82
00:05:25,917 --> 00:05:27,750
那孩子 你跟誰混的
83
00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:30,000
我跟自己混
84
00:05:57,417 --> 00:05:58,625
硬骨頭
85
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:12,375
硬骨頭
86
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:15,250
都沒好下場
87
00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:32,125
王誠勇
88
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:34,375
王誠勇
89
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,000
我們這次算打輸了吧
90
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:01,375
以後會贏的
91
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:03,250
什麼時候
92
00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:05,500
等我們再長大點
93
00:07:05,917 --> 00:07:07,000
可外國報紙上說
94
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,125
今年就是世界末日了
95
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,250
我會開車
96
00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,500
到時候帶你們跑
97
00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:13,750
能讓世界在開學前末日嗎
98
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:15,375
就因為你暑假作業沒寫完吧
99
00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:17,375
我借你們抄
100
00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:19,000
好兄弟 什麼條件
101
00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:20,375
十六人街霸借我玩玩
102
00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:22,625
早忘了借給誰了
103
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:23,875
我這腦細胞
104
00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:25,250
得留著幹大事兒
105
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,500
可得保留好
106
00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:29,250
文明倒退全靠它了
107
00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:38,000
王誠勇
108
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:40,625
王誠勇 醒醒啊
109
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:42,625
誠勇大哥
110
00:07:42,917 --> 00:07:43,375
醒醒
111
00:07:45,792 --> 00:07:46,375
泡泡
112
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:48,500
王炸
113
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:01,375
王炸
114
00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:03,500
泡泡
115
00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,750
電視機前的觀眾朋友們晚上好
116
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,125
今天是二零一九年十一月一日
117
00:08:23,292 --> 00:08:24,375
農曆十月初五
118
00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:26,375
今天的新聞主要內容有
119
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:31,125
我靠
120
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,125
誠勇
121
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,250
別美了
122
00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:42,875
（K星土語）走啊
123
00:08:43,042 --> 00:08:43,500
你是誰
124
00:08:45,042 --> 00:08:45,500
這是哪
125
00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:46,875
為什麼電視上說
126
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,250
現在是二零一九年
127
00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:49,500
沒說錯呀
128
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:51,875
那時間都去哪兒了
129
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,250
想K歌下班咱們再去啊
130
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:55,750
讓一下
131
00:08:58,417 --> 00:08:59,000
這裏是
132
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:00,500
醫院
133
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,500
是你掙錢的地兒
134
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,250
我現在是醫生
135
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:06,250
你要是這麼說也行
136
00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:08,625
那我們現在去哪
137
00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:14,375
三爺
138
00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:16,750
我們來了
139
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:19,250
這次輪到誰了
140
00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,375
替我拉一下
141
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,625
還是最喜歡這樣發工資啊
142
00:09:46,292 --> 00:09:47,500
這可不叫工資
143
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:50,125
你們替我鏟事
144
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:52,625
我得回禮
145
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,125
這是規矩
146
00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:55,250
替你
147
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:56,500
鏟事
148
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:00,000
三爺
149
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,625
咱們下邊見
150
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:16,250
低頭
151
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:24,875
誠勇
152
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,125
能站起來嗎
153
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:30,500
我去看看三爺
154
00:10:39,292 --> 00:10:39,875
可算醒了
155
00:10:41,042 --> 00:10:42,625
這眼睛的顏色也變回來了
156
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:43,125
你們倆
157
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:44,250
趕快把他扶起來
158
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:47,625
誠勇 能看到我嗎
159
00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:48,750
忙大姐
160
00:10:50,042 --> 00:10:52,375
你們幾個剛才是不是去鋼廠打架去了
161
00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:53,875
沒有 你怎麼知道
162
00:10:54,417 --> 00:10:55,250
我是誰
163
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:56,875
夕陽群眾
164
00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,000
群眾們上哪兒都知道
165
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:01,125
馬上開學了
166
00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:03,750
家裏沒大人的晚上來我這吃飯
167
00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:05,125
別亂跑
168
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:05,750
聽到沒
169
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:06,250
是
170
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:07,000
稍息
171
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,125
解散
172
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:09,500
忙大姐慢騎
173
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:10,500
忙大姐再見
174
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:11,750
忙大姐注意安全
175
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,375
謝謝您給誠勇做的人工呼吸
176
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,000
二十年後我在醫院工作
177
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:22,000
每個月的工資可以堆滿整個屋子
178
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:23,375
但是我隨時都有可能
179
00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:24,375
被別人炸死
180
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:26,250
那你怎麼逃出來的
181
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:27,625
全靠打噴嚏
182
00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:31,625
可以啊 王誠勇
183
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:33,375
都學會吃旯蟆了
184
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:34,875
旯蟆
185
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:36,375
K星上的一種青蛙
186
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,500
它的皮膚能讓人產生幻覺
187
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,000
肉有劇毒
188
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:41,750
我沒吃
189
00:11:42,417 --> 00:11:43,250
那也不是幻覺
190
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:48,750
那我怎麼沒去未來啊
191
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,250
為什麼要當癮君子
192
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:08,875
別看了
193
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:10,625
拿上相機 去現場
194
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,875
閉月羞花
195
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,500
樓裏開始疏散人群了
196
00:12:33,542 --> 00:12:34,750
我看到醫用冷凍箱
197
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:36,750
裝著黑市器官
198
00:12:37,292 --> 00:12:38,625
這就是個非法採集點
199
00:12:41,542 --> 00:12:42,250
大頭來了
200
00:12:42,917 --> 00:12:43,500
拿好相機
201
00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:51,125
您好 您拔打的用戶暫時無法接聽
202
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,500
請稍後再撥
203
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:53,500
知道了
204
00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:55,000
我一會兒再打給你
205
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:56,625
三爺
206
00:12:57,292 --> 00:12:59,000
誠勇倒下就再也沒醒過來
207
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:00,500
做全面檢查
208
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:02,750
自家兄弟 多上心
209
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:07,875
誰讓你開閃光燈的
210
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:10,000
抓人
211
00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:12,250
活幹得不怎麼樣
212
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:13,750
逃跑倒比我快
213
00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,125
你也沒說是偷拍啊
214
00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:17,500
你先跑 我掩護
215
00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:22,375
對了 咱不是開車來的嗎
216
00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:23,375
趕緊上車吧
217
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:30,750
你們什麼人
218
00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:31,875
調查記者
219
00:13:32,292 --> 00:13:34,750
來報道延生製藥非法倒賣器官事件
220
00:13:35,042 --> 00:13:36,500
她的聲音像大鵝
221
00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:38,000
真好聽
222
00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:39,000
給我按住
223
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:43,875
看誰命硬
224
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:46,375
這是什麼
225
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,625
我討厭聽見男人的慘叫
226
00:14:06,917 --> 00:14:07,875
哎呦
227
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:23,750
趕緊上車
228
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:36,750
他們車好像比咱快
229
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:38,375
放心吧
230
00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:39,875
我這還沒掛上特效檔呢
231
00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:40,500
什麼
232
00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:18,000
剎車失靈來不及戴耳塞了
233
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,250
為什麼戴耳塞啊
234
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:34,750
頭髮借我使使
235
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:42,625
回來啦
236
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:46,500
差點死在二十一世紀
237
00:15:46,917 --> 00:15:47,750
你都幹什麼了
238
00:15:47,917 --> 00:15:48,625
我成了記者
239
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,250
一直給人追著打
240
00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:53,000
你那是狗仔隊吧
241
00:15:53,667 --> 00:15:54,125
可為什麼
242
00:15:54,292 --> 00:15:55,375
我們能去未來
243
00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:58,750
也許是剛才在水裏吸入了化學藥劑
244
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,000
影響了我們的身體
245
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,875
這解釋不太科學吧
246
00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:03,250
我一初中文憑
247
00:16:03,542 --> 00:16:04,875
只能解釋到這了
248
00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:06,875
那我也能去未來嗎
249
00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:12,125
誠勇
250
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:19,875
有水嗎
251
00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:24,250
酒裏沒毒 皇上請喝
252
00:16:24,542 --> 00:16:25,375
真煩
253
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:30,500
都一瓶裏喝水了
254
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:32,500
誠勇
255
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,500
上你家抄作業去
256
00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:34,875
我得先去看個演唱會
257
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:35,625
誰的
258
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:39,125
你耳朵會爛掉的
259
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:40,750
楊美麗
260
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,125
K星女唱將
261
00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:43,375
歌聲高亢
262
00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:44,500
魅力四射
263
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,875
原來這有一條吳薇歌迷在呢
264
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:49,250
吳薇
265
00:16:49,417 --> 00:16:50,375
K星天後
266
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:51,875
聲如天籟
267
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,250
婚姻坎坷
268
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,875
吳薇的歌迷好渺小 都看不到
269
00:16:56,542 --> 00:16:57,125
說起來
270
00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:58,500
吳薇也太久 沒有開演唱會了吧
271
00:16:58,667 --> 00:16:59,750
真愛吳薇 不論是非
272
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,000
永恆美麗 為你沉醉
273
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:04,125
吳薇出類拔萃 世間你最可貴
274
00:17:04,292 --> 00:17:06,750
美麗天下無敵 熱愛永遠不息
275
00:17:06,917 --> 00:17:09,625
吳薇迷死個人 世界唯一真神
276
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,125
美麗一生守望 美麗宇宙最棒
277
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,250
好了 別生氣了
278
00:17:13,417 --> 00:17:14,625
吳薇美麗加起來都不如你
279
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:16,500
還是你愛說實話
280
00:17:26,917 --> 00:17:28,375
你哪來的那麼多戲啊
281
00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:28,875
我沒有
282
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:30,625
替我去趟一九年。
283
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,875
幫我看看吳薇和楊美麗誰贏了
284
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,250
你自己怎麼不去啊
285
00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:37,750
王炸
286
00:17:38,042 --> 00:17:39,000
你別給我裝死
287
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,125
你給我起來
288
00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:42,375
我暫時不想去未來
289
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:43,625
泡泡
290
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,500
你最近是不是又胖了
291
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,750
今早稱的 兩百六
292
00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:49,500
好好練功
293
00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:51,250
長大當個黑旋風
294
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:15,250
媽
295
00:18:15,792 --> 00:18:17,625
感謝您給我買的神功元氣帶
296
00:18:20,792 --> 00:18:21,875
你折騰什麼呢
297
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:27,625
快睡吧 我困得不行了
298
00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:32,000
等等
299
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:37,875
你是
300
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:40,250
楊藝
301
00:18:43,292 --> 00:18:45,500
可惜不是楊美麗 讓您失望了
302
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:47,000
你是京海市
303
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,875
夕陽區第三中學二年三班的楊藝嗎
304
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:52,250
曾經是吧
305
00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:54,875
那為什麼我們會在一個屋子裏
306
00:18:57,542 --> 00:18:59,250
因為我們正在同居啊
307
00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:05,625
三年二班 閆明
308
00:19:06,292 --> 00:19:08,000
二年七班 周懷准
309
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,500
三年一班 肖軍
310
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:12,375
這些人都是誠勇打的
311
00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:14,375
就因為他們給楊藝送過情書
312
00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:17,125
你居然敢跟楊藝同居
313
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:18,375
誠勇知道殺了你
314
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:19,750
那該怎麼辦
315
00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,250
馬上跟未來的楊藝分手啊
316
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,375
這不太好吧
317
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:24,875
有什麼不好
318
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,000
你又不喜歡楊藝
319
00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,000
別按了
320
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:28,875
叔叔好
321
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,000
誠勇在家嗎
322
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:31,375
還沒回來
323
00:19:31,542 --> 00:19:32,750
沒關係 我們進屋等
324
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:33,875
您忙您的
325
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:34,500
站住
326
00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:37,125
你們是衝他暑假作業來的吧
327
00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:40,375
叔叔 請您尊重我們的人格
328
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:43,000
今天我在街上撿到兩本暑假作業
329
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,250
上面的字跡潦草
330
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,500
而且有五分之一的題還是錯的
331
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,875
非常符合你倆目前的文化水平
332
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:53,250
叔叔我愛您 感恩好叔叔
333
00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:54,875
夠了
334
00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:55,875
這麼好的作業
335
00:19:56,042 --> 00:19:56,875
拿什麼來換
336
00:19:57,292 --> 00:19:59,625
叔 我值錢的東西都在這
337
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,375
您要看上哪個
338
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:03,250
隨便拿
339
00:20:06,417 --> 00:20:07,000
這什麼呀
340
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:07,875
乾脆面
341
00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:09,375
裏邊帶水滸傳英雄卡
342
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:10,250
成交
343
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,625
方便面沒營養
344
00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:12,625
留這吃宵夜吧
345
00:20:12,917 --> 00:20:13,875
謝謝叔
346
00:20:16,542 --> 00:20:17,875
你們兩個怎麼還在我家
347
00:20:19,042 --> 00:20:20,500
我們正在談生意呢
348
00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:22,375
對客戶尊重點
349
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:24,750
滾進來開會
350
00:20:31,792 --> 00:20:33,250
這是我珍藏的
351
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:34,375
和電影僊女
352
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,000
就托付給你們了
353
00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:37,250
使不得
354
00:20:37,542 --> 00:20:40,125
這都是難得的課外讀物啊
355
00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:40,875
對啊
356
00:20:41,042 --> 00:20:43,750
沒有它們我們的青春會失去色彩的
357
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:49,375
真正屬於我的青春
358
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,250
名字叫做楊藝
359
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:55,500
我新買了卡西歐
360
00:20:55,792 --> 00:20:56,875
都調快了一分鐘
361
00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:59,375
咱倆一人一塊 別弄丟啊
362
00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:01,500
不行 這個太貴重了
363
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:02,625
別摘
364
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,000
我想
365
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:06,875
跟你在一樣的時間裏嘛
366
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:10,750
剛才
367
00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:13,750
算是求婚嗎
368
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:15,000
法盲
369
00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:17,000
咱倆還沒到法定年齡呢
370
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:19,750
楊藝
371
00:21:21,792 --> 00:21:22,500
反正
372
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:25,375
我們永遠在一起吧
373
00:21:29,792 --> 00:21:30,500
好啊
374
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,250
永遠
375
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,500
我現在就去未來找楊藝
376
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:36,625
看看我們結婚了沒
377
00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:38,375
一塊吧
378
00:21:46,042 --> 00:21:46,875
那我先走了
379
00:21:47,042 --> 00:21:48,375
校門口麥當勞見
380
00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:58,250
這首歌送給你
381
00:22:06,042 --> 00:22:07,625
我這就去未來跟楊藝說清楚
382
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:15,125
所以你現在是三十八歲的身體裏
383
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:16,625
有顆十八歲的心
384
00:22:17,292 --> 00:22:18,125
嗯
385
00:22:19,417 --> 00:22:20,250
你可真文藝
386
00:22:20,542 --> 00:22:21,750
可我說的都是真的
387
00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:23,000
雖然很難相信
388
00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:23,875
不
389
00:22:24,417 --> 00:22:25,000
我相信
390
00:22:25,542 --> 00:22:26,375
為什麼啊
391
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:29,375
因為你編不出這麼有趣的謊
392
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:33,500
那我三十八歲的意識去哪了
393
00:22:34,042 --> 00:22:34,625
消失了唄
394
00:22:34,792 --> 00:22:35,750
這怎麼能行
395
00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:38,875
沒關係 反正他也不開心
396
00:22:41,167 --> 00:22:42,750
想喝點什麼 這位中學生
397
00:22:44,417 --> 00:22:45,125
都可以
398
00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:46,625
二鍋頭
399
00:22:46,792 --> 00:22:47,375
燒刀子
400
00:22:47,542 --> 00:22:48,125
伏特加
401
00:22:48,292 --> 00:22:49,000
阿白酒
402
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,125
來哪個
403
00:22:51,292 --> 00:22:52,500
有 有喜樂嗎
404
00:23:03,042 --> 00:23:04,875
今天絕對不行 我不方便
405
00:23:05,042 --> 00:23:06,625
不方便 我們不是說好
406
00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,500
我說了今天不行
407
00:23:08,667 --> 00:23:09,375
閉嘴
408
00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:11,125
你現在就給我出來
409
00:23:11,292 --> 00:23:13,375
不然我斷了你的藥
410
00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:19,375
都這麼晚了
411
00:23:19,792 --> 00:23:20,500
你還要出門呀
412
00:23:20,792 --> 00:23:21,250
嗯
413
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,000
可是誠勇馬上就來找你了
414
00:23:24,917 --> 00:23:25,750
不可能
415
00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:27,375
我們四年前就分手了
416
00:23:27,542 --> 00:23:28,375
為什麼呀
417
00:23:29,292 --> 00:23:30,000
說為了我好
418
00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:31,500
然後人就不見了
419
00:23:31,917 --> 00:23:33,000
可是現在要來找你的
420
00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:34,625
是十八歲的誠勇啊
421
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:41,500
他跟你一樣 也
422
00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:42,250
對
423
00:23:46,542 --> 00:23:48,500
不要讓誠勇找到我好不好
424
00:23:49,167 --> 00:23:49,875
為什麼呀
425
00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:51,500
因為我喜歡你啊
426
00:23:53,292 --> 00:23:54,500
你也喜歡我吧
427
00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:59,375
我以為你永遠不會知道
428
00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:01,625
泡泡還在相信永遠的年紀呀
429
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:13,500
每個K星人二十歲的時候
430
00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:16,625
都要翻越一座雪山才算成年
431
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:18,750
泡泡告訴我
432
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:20,750
如果未來沒有楊藝
433
00:24:21,792 --> 00:24:24,000
他會永遠藏在厚厚的積雪下
434
00:24:26,042 --> 00:24:27,375
直到死去
435
00:24:28,542 --> 00:24:29,125
記住
436
00:24:30,417 --> 00:24:32,375
一定不要讓誠勇找到我
437
00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:01,125
跟上
438
00:25:08,792 --> 00:25:09,500
喲
439
00:25:09,667 --> 00:25:10,750
睡美人醒了
440
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:11,875
你怎麼在這
441
00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:13,250
廢話 這我家
442
00:25:13,542 --> 00:25:14,375
這麼牛
443
00:25:15,167 --> 00:25:16,500
那葡萄糖是你給我打的嗎
444
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:18,250
你剛不是暈倒了嗎
445
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,250
小題大做
446
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:20,250
你是不是喜歡我
447
00:25:20,417 --> 00:25:20,875
滾
448
00:25:21,292 --> 00:25:22,125
我有男朋友
449
00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:23,625
這病你別拖著啊
450
00:25:23,917 --> 00:25:25,125
早點去醫院檢查一下
451
00:25:25,667 --> 00:25:26,375
沒事
452
00:25:27,042 --> 00:25:28,250
腦子出了點小問題
453
00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:32,000
只是可惜我這二十多年的知識積累
454
00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:33,625
全沒了
455
00:25:34,917 --> 00:25:36,250
真是微乎其微的損失啊
456
00:25:36,792 --> 00:25:37,625
喝你口水啊
457
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:43,375
關了再開就好
458
00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:45,125
紙
459
00:25:45,792 --> 00:25:47,250
你就不能換個好點的地方住
460
00:25:47,792 --> 00:25:48,875
沒那閒錢
461
00:25:49,042 --> 00:25:49,750
我得攢著
462
00:25:49,917 --> 00:25:51,250
去國外看我男朋友
463
00:25:52,042 --> 00:25:53,875
寶寶你今天好美
464
00:25:54,417 --> 00:25:55,875
我要為你寫首歌
465
00:25:56,542 --> 00:25:57,000
對了 寶寶
466
00:25:57,417 --> 00:25:58,875
下個月的生活費見底咯
467
00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:01,375
你別急 我馬上給你轉過去啊
468
00:26:02,417 --> 00:26:03,500
你男朋友真屎
469
00:26:03,792 --> 00:26:04,500
你懂個屁
470
00:26:05,042 --> 00:26:06,375
從這兒怎麼去校門口麥當勞
471
00:26:08,917 --> 00:26:10,375
你們都盯著我幹嘛
472
00:26:11,292 --> 00:26:12,250
泡泡
473
00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:13,500
啊
474
00:26:18,042 --> 00:26:19,875
我代表大地母親感謝你
475
00:26:20,042 --> 00:26:20,750
你一瘦
476
00:26:21,417 --> 00:26:22,625
K星自轉都變快了
477
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:24,375
屁根本沒有
478
00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:26,375
別逗他了 我現在打車
479
00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:27,625
咱直奔楊藝家
480
00:26:28,042 --> 00:26:29,875
誠勇 咱喝點東西再走
481
00:26:30,042 --> 00:26:30,500
二鍋頭
482
00:26:30,667 --> 00:26:31,125
燒刀子
483
00:26:31,417 --> 00:26:31,750
伏特加
484
00:26:31,917 --> 00:26:32,500
阿白酒
485
00:26:32,667 --> 00:26:33,500
來哪個
486
00:26:34,042 --> 00:26:34,375
霍
487
00:26:35,167 --> 00:26:36,250
好東西啊
488
00:26:36,917 --> 00:26:37,375
攢著
489
00:26:37,542 --> 00:26:38,500
以後喝
490
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:42,250
誠勇大哥怕喝酒啊
491
00:26:43,417 --> 00:26:44,500
我不想讓楊藝等
492
00:26:48,792 --> 00:26:50,250
誰說她在等你
493
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:51,500
你好
494
00:26:52,042 --> 00:26:53,750
麥當勞餐廳禁止飲酒
495
00:26:53,917 --> 00:26:54,750
請配合
496
00:26:56,042 --> 00:26:58,625
由於生理和心理發展得不平衡
497
00:26:58,792 --> 00:27:00,000
青春期的男孩們
498
00:27:00,167 --> 00:27:02,625
往往具備了極強的逆反心理
499
00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:05,000
你越是不讓他們做什麼
500
00:27:05,417 --> 00:27:06,750
他們啊 就越要幹什麼
501
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,125
今誰不干誰孫子
502
00:27:09,292 --> 00:27:09,750
干
503
00:27:11,042 --> 00:27:11,375
喝
504
00:27:25,292 --> 00:27:26,125
我
505
00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:28,625
好暈啊
506
00:27:30,417 --> 00:27:33,000
腦子裏有個電鑽在殺我
507
00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:39,375
是酒勁兒
508
00:27:39,917 --> 00:27:41,125
酒勁兒上來了
509
00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:43,875
我走不成了
510
00:27:44,792 --> 00:27:46,625
咱們回九九年吧
511
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:48,375
不
512
00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:52,875
我就算爬 也要爬到楊藝家
513
00:27:55,417 --> 00:27:59,125
好 我就讓你死心
514
00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:02,625
師傅 咱們去楊藝家
515
00:28:07,292 --> 00:28:08,000
這是哪兒
516
00:28:09,042 --> 00:28:10,625
商業區地基
517
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:13,125
楊藝家早就被拆了
518
00:28:15,292 --> 00:28:17,250
她們家裏電話也打不通
519
00:28:21,417 --> 00:28:22,250
我們回去吧
520
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,750
未來沒有楊藝
521
00:28:25,167 --> 00:28:27,500
有個人一定知道楊藝的下落
522
00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:29,875
群眾
523
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,250
群眾們去哪兒都知道
524
00:28:32,917 --> 00:28:34,625
你們來晚了一步
525
00:28:35,542 --> 00:28:37,250
我老伴忙大姐
526
00:28:45,417 --> 00:28:46,875
大爺您別難過
527
00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:48,625
我們能讓忙大姐復活
528
00:28:49,542 --> 00:28:50,750
我們該怎麼辦呀
529
00:28:51,042 --> 00:28:52,625
忙大姐是騎自行車出的事
530
00:28:53,042 --> 00:28:54,625
只要在九九年砸爛她的自行車
531
00:28:54,917 --> 00:28:56,000
未來她就不會死了
532
00:29:03,292 --> 00:29:04,750
你們來晚了一步
533
00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:05,500
怎麼會
534
00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:08,000
你忙大姐騎我的自行車
535
00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:09,125
被撞了
536
00:29:09,292 --> 00:29:10,000
大意了
537
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:12,375
快把她們家的自行車都砸了
538
00:29:15,542 --> 00:29:16,625
你們來晚了一步
539
00:29:16,792 --> 00:29:17,750
不可能
540
00:29:18,292 --> 00:29:20,375
你忙大姐騎鄰居的自行車
541
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,625
整條胡同的自行車全砸
542
00:29:24,917 --> 00:29:26,375
你們來晚了一步
543
00:29:26,792 --> 00:29:27,500
你騙人嗎你
544
00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:29,750
她騎她二姐的自行車
545
00:29:31,042 --> 00:29:31,875
六姨的
546
00:29:32,542 --> 00:29:33,750
大舅的
547
00:29:34,042 --> 00:29:35,000
弟弟的
548
00:29:35,167 --> 00:29:36,000
大表哥的
549
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:37,750
共享的
550
00:29:39,167 --> 00:29:40,125
共享
551
00:29:40,667 --> 00:29:41,375
是誰
552
00:29:43,417 --> 00:29:46,000
共享單車 便利出行
553
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,625
投放超百萬輛
554
00:29:48,792 --> 00:29:49,500
共享
555
00:29:49,667 --> 00:29:52,000
是嶄新的潮流
556
00:29:58,042 --> 00:29:59,125
忙大姐要想活命
557
00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,250
除非自行車沒發明
558
00:30:01,542 --> 00:30:02,625
可未來除了忙大姐
559
00:30:03,417 --> 00:30:04,375
沒人知道楊藝的下落
560
00:30:04,792 --> 00:30:05,875
那不一定
561
00:30:06,792 --> 00:30:08,875
興許咱班就有同學知道呢
562
00:30:10,167 --> 00:30:10,500
對呀
563
00:30:10,917 --> 00:30:12,375
我們可以在未來辦一場同學會
564
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,250
這樣就能打聽到楊藝的下落
565
00:30:14,417 --> 00:30:16,000
可未來 怎麼把同學們聚到一塊
566
00:30:16,667 --> 00:30:18,000
王炸在雜誌社工作
567
00:30:18,292 --> 00:30:19,625
登條同學會啟事
568
00:30:19,792 --> 00:30:20,875
全國人都能看得到
569
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:23,000
未來全在你手裏了
570
00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:26,500
乘客您好
571
00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:27,750
文明乘車 從我做起
572
00:30:27,917 --> 00:30:28,625
跟上
573
00:30:29,292 --> 00:30:30,375
上車請主動刷卡
574
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,500
逃票老手啊
575
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,000
彼此彼此
576
00:30:37,667 --> 00:30:39,000
螞蟻肉也是肉麼
577
00:30:41,417 --> 00:30:43,875
你能幫我登一個同學會啟事嗎
578
00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:45,625
光臨
579
00:30:46,542 --> 00:30:47,625
同學會
580
00:30:48,292 --> 00:30:48,750
好了
581
00:30:48,917 --> 00:30:50,125
聯繫人電話留誰的
582
00:30:52,292 --> 00:30:53,000
留他的
583
00:30:56,542 --> 00:30:57,875
你跟楊藝分手了嗎
584
00:30:59,917 --> 00:31:02,875
沒 沒有
585
00:31:03,042 --> 00:31:04,750
你喜歡楊藝
586
00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:08,125
我不能沒有她
587
00:31:08,292 --> 00:31:09,625
你糊塗了
588
00:31:10,792 --> 00:31:12,125
誠勇知道殺了你
589
00:31:13,417 --> 00:31:14,375
找死嗎
590
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,125
我知道你們喜歡打我
591
00:31:19,292 --> 00:31:20,875
隨時隨地可以嘲笑我
592
00:31:21,042 --> 00:31:21,875
好朋友三人組裏面
593
00:31:22,042 --> 00:31:23,375
總有我這樣的胖子當小丑
594
00:31:23,542 --> 00:31:24,250
我沒拿你當小丑
595
00:31:24,417 --> 00:31:25,250
我願意這樣
596
00:31:27,042 --> 00:31:28,875
只要跟你們混在一塊怎麼樣都行
597
00:31:29,542 --> 00:31:31,250
沒有你們我會被更多人欺負
598
00:31:32,292 --> 00:31:33,625
我恨我的九九年
599
00:31:36,667 --> 00:31:38,000
我恨我的九九年
600
00:31:41,292 --> 00:31:42,625
可是在未來
601
00:31:43,167 --> 00:31:44,875
楊藝把我變得跟你們一樣好
602
00:31:46,667 --> 00:31:48,375
不要殺死那樣的我
603
00:31:52,042 --> 00:31:52,875
求求你
604
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:56,875
聯繫人
605
00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:58,125
泡泡
606
00:31:58,542 --> 00:31:59,000
搞定
607
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,625
給你發雜誌社官微了
608
00:32:00,792 --> 00:32:01,875
你刷一下手機就能看見
609
00:32:07,542 --> 00:32:08,375
啥也沒有啊
610
00:32:08,542 --> 00:32:09,750
小劉 王炸
611
00:32:09,917 --> 00:32:12,500
你們倆采的那新聞可上頭條啦
612
00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:13,375
真的
613
00:32:13,542 --> 00:32:15,750
非法倒賣器官 直擊幕後黑手
614
00:32:15,917 --> 00:32:18,500
這照片拍的 完全不像偷拍的呀
615
00:32:18,667 --> 00:32:20,500
那還不得多虧王炸開閃光燈啊
616
00:32:20,667 --> 00:32:22,000
你肯定要漲工資了
617
00:32:22,417 --> 00:32:24,000
新聞報道 微博熱搜
618
00:32:24,167 --> 00:32:24,875
排行第二
619
00:32:25,042 --> 00:32:25,625
是嗎
620
00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:26,875
厲害了啊
621
00:32:27,042 --> 00:32:29,375
這新聞署名怎麼改余主任了
622
00:32:39,917 --> 00:32:40,875
怎麼了 小劉
623
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:42,125
主任
624
00:32:42,667 --> 00:32:44,875
我看見倒賣器官的報道
625
00:32:45,042 --> 00:32:45,625
署了您的名
626
00:32:45,792 --> 00:32:46,625
有問題嗎
627
00:32:52,792 --> 00:32:53,750
這次的頭條報道
628
00:32:54,417 --> 00:32:55,375
很有爆炸性
629
00:32:56,667 --> 00:32:57,500
余主任
630
00:32:58,167 --> 00:32:59,125
功不可沒啊
631
00:32:59,292 --> 00:33:02,500
哪裏 多虧主編您領導有方
632
00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:03,875
領導有方啊
633
00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:06,250
開會的演示文稿好了嗎
634
00:33:07,042 --> 00:33:08,375
投影儀還是對不上焦
635
00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:09,375
老毛病了
636
00:33:09,917 --> 00:33:10,875
小劉啊
637
00:33:11,042 --> 00:33:12,375
你去把投影儀挪一下
638
00:33:13,042 --> 00:33:13,625
受累呀
639
00:33:18,542 --> 00:33:19,250
往後挪一下
640
00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:21,375
不要晃了 都虛焦了
641
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:22,750
老余呀
642
00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:25,250
這次報道這照片抓拍得很清楚
643
00:33:25,417 --> 00:33:26,750
這完全都是徐遠寧
644
00:33:26,917 --> 00:33:28,125
徐大攝影的功勞
645
00:33:28,292 --> 00:33:28,750
主編好
646
00:33:28,917 --> 00:33:30,000
我已經跟人事說了
647
00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:32,500
遠寧下周就轉正
648
00:33:33,042 --> 00:33:33,625
跟我
649
00:33:33,792 --> 00:33:34,875
我們不是有個攝影
650
00:33:35,667 --> 00:33:36,375
叫
651
00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:38,000
叫王炸
652
00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:39,875
那人的工作能力
653
00:33:40,417 --> 00:33:41,250
不如直接開了
654
00:33:41,542 --> 00:33:42,250
余主任
655
00:33:42,667 --> 00:33:44,125
王炸其實挺努力的
656
00:33:44,292 --> 00:33:45,125
您要不要再考慮一下
657
00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:46,500
現在是開會
658
00:33:46,667 --> 00:33:47,500
注意會場紀律
659
00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:53,125
喂 李秘啊
660
00:33:54,042 --> 00:33:56,625
好久沒聯繫了 別來無恙
661
00:33:58,292 --> 00:34:00,625
我剛才跟主編說話你插什麼嘴
662
00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:06,875
你這也太過分了 小劉
663
00:34:07,042 --> 00:34:08,500
趕緊給領導道歉呀
664
00:34:09,667 --> 00:34:10,500
你要不服
665
00:34:11,042 --> 00:34:11,375
我一句話
666
00:34:11,542 --> 00:34:12,500
讓你滾蛋
667
00:34:53,167 --> 00:34:54,250
真是不好意思
668
00:34:54,417 --> 00:34:55,000
對對對
669
00:34:55,167 --> 00:34:56,625
我們立刻撤回這篇不實報道
670
00:34:56,792 --> 00:34:57,625
啊對對
671
00:34:57,792 --> 00:34:58,750
消除影響
672
00:35:04,292 --> 00:35:05,500
打人啦
673
00:35:06,917 --> 00:35:07,750
王炸瘋了
674
00:35:30,042 --> 00:35:32,000
一屋子欺軟怕硬的慫貨
675
00:35:32,417 --> 00:35:33,125
王炸
676
00:35:33,417 --> 00:35:34,625
對不起啊 不包括你
677
00:35:34,792 --> 00:35:35,875
趕緊跟主任道歉啊
678
00:35:36,167 --> 00:35:36,750
什麼玩意
679
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:40,125
太晚了 再道歉也沒有用
680
00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:42,625
年輕人 你們犯下大錯了
681
00:35:43,042 --> 00:35:43,625
我沒錯
682
00:35:44,417 --> 00:35:46,375
宇宙戰警行為規範第四十條
683
00:35:46,542 --> 00:35:48,500
遇見違反社會公德的行為
684
00:35:48,667 --> 00:35:50,375
發現違法犯罪的行為
685
00:35:50,542 --> 00:35:51,625
要見義勇為
686
00:35:51,917 --> 00:35:53,500
勇於鬥爭 善於鬥爭
687
00:35:53,667 --> 00:35:55,000
保安 快派人來
688
00:35:55,167 --> 00:35:57,750
第十四條 不說謊 不騙人 不弄虛做假
689
00:35:58,167 --> 00:35:59,625
知錯就改 誠實守信 言行一致
690
00:35:59,792 --> 00:36:00,750
答應別人的事要做到
691
00:36:01,542 --> 00:36:02,500
你叫什麼來著
692
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:03,875
劉連枝
693
00:36:05,792 --> 00:36:07,750
榴蓮 不用跟任何人道歉
694
00:36:11,417 --> 00:36:12,875
你跟這的人不一樣
695
00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:20,000
你是來讓世界變好的
696
00:37:08,917 --> 00:37:10,625
你幹嘛買這麼多過期大米啊
697
00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:15,125
咱們以後是只能吃得起這個了嗎
698
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:17,125
不高興了
699
00:37:18,292 --> 00:37:18,750
高興
700
00:37:19,292 --> 00:37:20,625
治安懲罰兩百三
701
00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:22,250
損壞公物賠八千
702
00:37:22,542 --> 00:37:23,875
毆打領導丟工作
703
00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:25,500
簡直快樂似神僊
704
00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:26,750
對吧
705
00:37:27,042 --> 00:37:28,625
宇宙戰警行為規範包你不吃虧
706
00:37:28,792 --> 00:37:29,500
可不嗎
707
00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:32,375
起開
708
00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:33,375
別再礙我事
709
00:37:34,542 --> 00:37:35,875
你讓我進屋喝口水唄
710
00:37:36,417 --> 00:37:38,000
來 有禮物給你
711
00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:40,375
你是在我花盆裏摘的吧
712
00:37:40,542 --> 00:37:42,250
怎麼可能 我花錢買的
713
00:37:42,542 --> 00:37:44,000
王炸 我今真沒功夫搭理你
714
00:37:44,292 --> 00:37:45,375
我得找趕緊份新工作
715
00:37:45,542 --> 00:37:47,125
接著攢錢去外國看我男朋友
716
00:37:47,792 --> 00:37:48,750
他怎麼不回來看你呀
717
00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,250
他在外國花的都是你的錢
718
00:37:50,667 --> 00:37:51,375
這跟你有屁關係
719
00:37:51,792 --> 00:37:52,750
我不想讓你犯糊塗
720
00:37:52,917 --> 00:37:53,750
誰活著不是裝糊塗啊
721
00:37:53,917 --> 00:37:54,625
我不是
722
00:37:54,792 --> 00:37:55,875
那是因為你根本就沒長大
723
00:37:56,042 --> 00:37:56,750
你也不是什麼大人啊
724
00:37:58,542 --> 00:37:59,375
我是
725
00:38:02,667 --> 00:38:03,125
開門
726
00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,625
滾 別耽誤我掙錢
727
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:10,125
好 你等著
728
00:38:10,292 --> 00:38:11,375
老子給你掙錢
729
00:38:17,667 --> 00:38:19,125
王炸 啟事發了麼
730
00:38:19,292 --> 00:38:20,375
後天同學會
731
00:38:20,792 --> 00:38:22,375
泡泡 借我二十
732
00:38:22,542 --> 00:38:23,000
幹嘛
733
00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:24,625
時間旅行者當然要買
734
00:38:24,792 --> 00:38:26,625
幸運彩票的開獎結果是
735
00:38:27,167 --> 00:38:30,000
一三五七九
736
00:38:30,167 --> 00:38:31,000
放屁
737
00:38:31,417 --> 00:38:33,000
明明是二四六八十
738
00:38:33,417 --> 00:38:35,000
我從未來抄的大獎號碼
739
00:38:35,542 --> 00:38:36,375
你是不是抄錯了
740
00:38:36,917 --> 00:38:38,000
五個號我能抄錯
741
00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:39,625
你先把彩票錢還我
742
00:38:39,792 --> 00:38:41,500
我拿十六人街霸抵債行了吧
743
00:38:41,667 --> 00:38:42,875
那你拿來呀
744
00:38:43,042 --> 00:38:44,250
我忘記借給誰了
745
00:38:44,417 --> 00:38:46,625
怪不得五個號碼都抄錯
746
00:38:46,792 --> 00:38:47,875
他沒抄錯
747
00:38:49,042 --> 00:38:50,125
我也買了這組號碼
748
00:38:50,417 --> 00:38:51,500
那為什麼不中獎
749
00:38:51,792 --> 00:38:52,750
重要的不是號碼
750
00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:54,875
而是誰應該中獎
751
00:38:56,042 --> 00:38:56,625
什麼意思
752
00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:58,375
原本該中獎的人
753
00:38:58,542 --> 00:38:59,750
買什麼號碼都會中
754
00:39:00,542 --> 00:39:01,375
這是他的命運
755
00:39:02,167 --> 00:39:02,875
什麼意思
756
00:39:04,417 --> 00:39:06,125
也許我們的命運
757
00:39:06,792 --> 00:39:07,750
都是沒法改變的
758
00:39:12,542 --> 00:39:13,250
什麼意思
759
00:39:32,292 --> 00:39:33,000
滾
760
00:39:36,667 --> 00:39:37,875
劉女士在家嗎
761
00:39:40,042 --> 00:39:41,750
對不起 我以為是別人
762
00:39:43,542 --> 00:39:44,375
劉女士
763
00:39:46,042 --> 00:39:48,000
這篇新聞是您寫的嗎
764
00:39:51,792 --> 00:39:53,875
是啊 你怎麼知道的
765
00:39:56,417 --> 00:39:57,375
我打聽出來的
766
00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:56,500
壞
767
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:10,875
我知道你沒走遠
768
00:41:11,542 --> 00:41:13,750
再不出來 微波你的貓
769
00:41:14,292 --> 00:41:15,125
三
770
00:41:16,417 --> 00:41:17,125
二
771
00:42:02,417 --> 00:42:03,125
蘋果
772
00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:05,500
（K星土語）蘋果
773
00:42:07,917 --> 00:42:09,000
蘋果
774
00:42:09,292 --> 00:42:10,250
（K星土語）蘋果
775
00:42:13,042 --> 00:42:14,125
蘋果
776
00:42:14,292 --> 00:42:15,500
（K星土語）蘋果
777
00:42:16,417 --> 00:42:17,375
蘋果
778
00:42:18,792 --> 00:42:19,750
（K星土語）蘋果
779
00:42:20,667 --> 00:42:21,500
蘋果
780
00:42:22,542 --> 00:42:23,750
（K星土語）蘋果
781
00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:36,375
媽媽不要擔心啦
782
00:42:36,542 --> 00:42:39,875
手機再也不怕摔啦
783
00:42:40,167 --> 00:42:43,500
我用棉花和毛線
784
00:42:43,667 --> 00:42:46,500
做件衣裳給它穿上
785
00:42:47,417 --> 00:42:50,125
您好 您撥打的用戶暫時無法接聽
786
00:42:50,292 --> 00:42:51,625
請稍後再撥
787
00:42:51,917 --> 00:42:53,500
好 我待會再打
788
00:42:55,792 --> 00:42:57,625
還是不接你電話呀
789
00:43:00,417 --> 00:43:02,125
這是碰上硬茬了
790
00:43:02,917 --> 00:43:05,375
沒幫手幹活就是費力氣啊
791
00:43:07,292 --> 00:43:08,625
誠勇醒了嗎
792
00:43:09,292 --> 00:43:11,500
他這樣三四天了 動都不動
793
00:43:11,792 --> 00:43:13,000
上回他也這樣
794
00:43:13,292 --> 00:43:14,375
後來自個就醒了
795
00:43:14,542 --> 00:43:16,000
他再也醒不過來了
796
00:43:16,167 --> 00:43:17,625
腦電圖呈雜散的波形
797
00:43:17,792 --> 00:43:19,375
靜脈注射葡萄糖溶液
798
00:43:19,542 --> 00:43:20,375
也未見轉醒
799
00:43:20,542 --> 00:43:21,500
GCS三分
800
00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:22,750
典型的植物人狀態
801
00:43:22,917 --> 00:43:23,500
這人誰啊
802
00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:25,000
時薪二十萬的醫學顧問
803
00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:27,000
後面那倆跟他挺像
804
00:43:27,167 --> 00:43:28,250
是他的備用件
805
00:43:28,917 --> 00:43:29,500
當他老了
806
00:43:29,792 --> 00:43:32,250
大腦就會移植到更年輕的身體上
807
00:43:32,542 --> 00:43:35,000
總之他現在跟塊石頭沒兩樣
808
00:43:35,542 --> 00:43:36,750
你怎麼證明
809
00:43:42,042 --> 00:43:42,750
等他醒了
810
00:43:43,292 --> 00:43:44,000
有你好看的
811
00:43:44,667 --> 00:43:45,625
如果他能醒
812
00:43:45,792 --> 00:43:47,625
我這三層別墅鑰匙你拿走
813
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:49,375
連我老婆都歸你
814
00:43:51,292 --> 00:43:52,000
誰幹的
815
00:43:54,417 --> 00:43:55,000
三爺
816
00:43:55,542 --> 00:43:57,875
我要求立刻對他做一次全面的檢查
817
00:43:59,917 --> 00:44:00,875
你老婆漂亮嗎
818
00:44:01,542 --> 00:44:04,125
同學們相親相愛
819
00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:05,500
同學們 咱們來張大合影
820
00:44:05,667 --> 00:44:06,375
來來來
821
00:44:06,542 --> 00:44:07,375
三ニー
822
00:44:07,792 --> 00:44:09,000
茄子
823
00:44:10,042 --> 00:44:10,875
這幫人你都篩過了吧
824
00:44:11,042 --> 00:44:11,625
嗯
825
00:44:11,792 --> 00:44:13,375
他們都不知道我跟楊藝的事
826
00:44:15,292 --> 00:44:16,500
謝謝你幫我
827
00:44:19,167 --> 00:44:20,250
忍著點
828
00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:22,875
最後一塊
829
00:44:23,167 --> 00:44:24,500
再縫兩針就好了
830
00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:26,125
回來再說吧
831
00:44:26,667 --> 00:44:27,500
去哪啊
832
00:44:28,167 --> 00:44:28,625
同學會
833
00:44:28,792 --> 00:44:30,500
我以為你不喜歡聚會呢
834
00:44:30,792 --> 00:44:32,000
有個想見的女同學
835
00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:33,250
等會
836
00:44:34,917 --> 00:44:35,875
開我車去吧
837
00:44:37,167 --> 00:44:38,500
別讓女孩瞧不起
838
00:44:49,167 --> 00:44:50,000
誠勇
839
00:44:50,792 --> 00:44:51,375
怎麼這麼慢
840
00:44:51,667 --> 00:44:52,500
見到楊藝了嗎
841
00:44:53,042 --> 00:44:53,750
沒見著
842
00:44:54,042 --> 00:44:54,750
找找去
843
00:44:55,667 --> 00:44:56,750
王誠勇
844
00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:00,250
咱們得二十多年沒見了吧
845
00:45:00,667 --> 00:45:02,250
我怎麼記得上禮拜剛見過啊
846
00:45:02,417 --> 00:45:03,750
這人怎麼站坑裏了
847
00:45:04,167 --> 00:45:05,375
楊藝沒跟你們一起啊
848
00:45:06,542 --> 00:45:07,625
少窮打聽
849
00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:10,250
我現在一個電話她就隨叫隨到
850
00:45:12,292 --> 00:45:13,000
再吹牛
851
00:45:13,167 --> 00:45:13,625
老子剁了你
852
00:45:13,792 --> 00:45:15,500
你等著 馬上打給她
853
00:45:34,792 --> 00:45:36,375
這娘們又喝大了
854
00:45:37,542 --> 00:45:39,125
真是連我女人都當不好
855
00:45:45,292 --> 00:45:46,500
楊藝不是你的
856
00:46:15,167 --> 00:46:16,250
她怎麼在你車上啊
857
00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:19,125
我不知道
858
00:46:20,167 --> 00:46:21,500
但我一定給你個交代
859
00:46:24,417 --> 00:46:25,625
肝臟大出血
860
00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:26,750
頸椎受到壓迫
861
00:46:27,542 --> 00:46:28,375
準備鎮痛劑
862
00:46:29,167 --> 00:46:30,000
X光
863
00:46:31,417 --> 00:46:32,250
什麼亂七八糟的
864
00:46:32,917 --> 00:46:34,000
馬上準備手術
865
00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:35,750
大夫血庫儲備不夠了
866
00:46:36,167 --> 00:46:37,500
抽我的我萬能血型
867
00:46:38,042 --> 00:46:39,125
可需要很多血
868
00:46:39,417 --> 00:46:40,375
那就多抽
869
00:46:40,542 --> 00:46:42,625
單次抽血超過五百毫升會有危險
870
00:46:50,042 --> 00:46:51,125
再不抽
871
00:46:51,542 --> 00:46:52,500
就全浪費掉吧
872
00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:01,750
後備箱裏為什麼會有人
873
00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:05,125
你被警察發現了
874
00:47:08,042 --> 00:47:09,375
為什麼後備箱
875
00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:20,500
發什麼神經啊
876
00:47:21,292 --> 00:47:23,375
後備箱還能裝什麼
877
00:47:25,542 --> 00:47:27,125
這當初還是你的主意
878
00:47:34,042 --> 00:47:35,750
他們對你喉嚨做了手術
879
00:47:35,917 --> 00:47:36,500
少說話
880
00:47:38,167 --> 00:47:39,000
王炸
881
00:47:39,167 --> 00:47:40,250
你好崔漸
882
00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:43,625
這是什麼
883
00:47:43,792 --> 00:47:45,750
你身上現在流著我的血脈
884
00:47:46,542 --> 00:47:47,625
謝謝你救我
885
00:47:48,792 --> 00:47:49,875
光謝可不夠
886
00:47:52,417 --> 00:47:53,500
那你想怎麼樣
887
00:47:54,292 --> 00:47:55,125
得叫爹
888
00:47:58,792 --> 00:47:59,875
咱倆這關係
889
00:48:00,042 --> 00:48:01,625
現在算是跨越友情了吧
890
00:48:02,417 --> 00:48:04,000
我跟你說過我有男朋友
891
00:48:04,542 --> 00:48:05,750
而且個比你高
892
00:48:06,917 --> 00:48:08,500
這都多少年了
893
00:48:08,667 --> 00:48:10,625
怎麼身高差螺旋槳還沒發明出來
894
00:48:10,792 --> 00:48:11,500
什麼玩意
895
00:48:11,917 --> 00:48:13,875
就是那種戴在頭上的螺旋槳
896
00:48:14,542 --> 00:48:15,250
走在街上
897
00:48:15,417 --> 00:48:17,375
所有身高比我高的人都得蹲下
898
00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:18,750
什麼蠢發明
899
00:48:20,042 --> 00:48:20,625
不能笑
900
00:48:21,042 --> 00:48:21,875
那別說了
901
00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:23,625
我有很多血
902
00:48:23,792 --> 00:48:24,500
你放心用
903
00:48:25,167 --> 00:48:26,000
我先走一步了
904
00:48:26,667 --> 00:48:27,375
你去哪兒
905
00:48:27,917 --> 00:48:28,875
今週一
906
00:48:29,167 --> 00:48:29,500
我得參加
907
00:48:29,792 --> 00:48:32,000
週一晨會現在開始
908
00:48:32,792 --> 00:48:33,625
同學們
909
00:48:33,792 --> 00:48:34,375
你們
910
00:48:34,667 --> 00:48:36,500
是充滿希望的新一代
911
00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:38,000
你們的明天
912
00:48:38,167 --> 00:48:38,750
一定
913
00:48:38,917 --> 00:48:40,875
更加燦爛輝煌
914
00:48:48,667 --> 00:48:50,250
我們最常說的謊話
915
00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:52,875
是長大就好了
916
00:48:57,167 --> 00:48:58,375
二十年後
917
00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:00,000
誠勇替延生製藥工作
918
00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:02,625
他們背地裏
919
00:49:02,917 --> 00:49:04,500
做著人體器官的買賣
920
00:49:05,917 --> 00:49:06,625
家屬
921
00:49:06,792 --> 00:49:07,625
記者
922
00:49:07,917 --> 00:49:09,125
衛道士
923
00:49:09,667 --> 00:49:12,250
只要是給延生藥業找麻煩的
924
00:49:12,667 --> 00:49:14,000
就全幹掉
925
00:49:14,792 --> 00:49:16,250
我才不會殺人
926
00:49:17,042 --> 00:49:17,625
然後
927
00:49:18,917 --> 00:49:20,125
誠勇看到了他爸
928
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:22,750
一動不動
929
00:49:24,917 --> 00:49:26,000
像顆植物
930
00:49:26,917 --> 00:49:28,875
就這麼躺一天
931
00:49:29,792 --> 00:49:31,500
九千塊
932
00:49:32,792 --> 00:49:34,625
不想拔管子
933
00:49:36,292 --> 00:49:38,000
就得把活幹好啊
934
00:49:42,417 --> 00:49:44,125
誠勇跑回九九年
935
00:49:44,417 --> 00:49:46,000
想要改變這樣的未來
936
00:49:47,167 --> 00:49:48,125
可是那幫科學家
937
00:49:48,292 --> 00:49:49,625
就算到了二十年後
938
00:49:50,042 --> 00:49:52,250
也沒研究出預防植物人的辦法
939
00:49:53,917 --> 00:49:55,625
就像永遠救不活的忙大姐
940
00:49:56,917 --> 00:49:58,875
和永遠中不了的頭等獎
941
00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:02,750
他爸一直沒醒過來
942
00:50:04,667 --> 00:50:06,375
我討厭長大後的一切
943
00:50:07,042 --> 00:50:07,750
趕上 追上
944
00:50:08,042 --> 00:50:08,500
趕上
945
00:50:08,792 --> 00:50:09,500
關心 擔心
946
00:50:09,792 --> 00:50:10,250
關心
947
00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:11,875
加油
948
00:50:12,667 --> 00:50:15,375
加油 一起來吧
949
00:50:16,042 --> 00:50:16,375
加油
950
00:50:16,542 --> 00:50:18,375
其實我不喜歡楊美麗
951
00:50:20,417 --> 00:50:21,875
我很在乎你
952
00:50:23,292 --> 00:50:25,375
總是裝成你喜歡的樣子
953
00:50:26,667 --> 00:50:28,875
可能我更喜歡原本的你呢
954
00:50:31,042 --> 00:50:32,250
可我一點也不好
955
00:50:33,042 --> 00:50:35,625
沒關係 我們才十八歲
956
00:50:36,167 --> 00:50:38,000
有的是時間去變成更好的人
957
00:50:39,917 --> 00:50:41,500
如果我們變得更糟了呢
958
00:50:47,792 --> 00:50:53,625
不要變壞啊
959
00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:58,125
未來的我們會聽到
960
00:51:05,292 --> 00:51:06,250
煙花
961
00:51:07,167 --> 00:51:08,375
（K星土語）煙花
962
00:51:09,292 --> 00:51:10,375
（K星土語）煙花
963
00:51:11,167 --> 00:51:12,125
煙花
964
00:51:13,417 --> 00:51:15,750
這樣土語單詞才記得牢啊
965
00:51:16,792 --> 00:51:17,625
鑰匙
966
00:51:18,167 --> 00:51:18,750
（K星土語）鑰匙
967
00:51:20,417 --> 00:51:22,250
（K星土語）鑰匙
968
00:51:22,542 --> 00:51:23,125
鑰匙
969
00:51:24,292 --> 00:51:25,250
烈酒
970
00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:27,000
（K星土語）烈酒
971
00:51:28,417 --> 00:51:30,500
（K星土語）烈酒
972
00:51:30,792 --> 00:51:31,750
烈酒
973
00:51:33,417 --> 00:51:34,125
釘子
974
00:51:35,167 --> 00:51:35,875
（K星土語）釘子
975
00:51:37,542 --> 00:51:38,500
（K星土語）釘子
976
00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:40,250
釘子
977
00:51:41,292 --> 00:51:42,125
火焰
978
00:51:43,167 --> 00:51:43,750
（K星土語）火焰
979
00:51:45,292 --> 00:51:47,125
（K星土語）火焰
980
00:51:47,292 --> 00:51:48,125
火焰
981
00:51:49,792 --> 00:51:50,625
灰燼
982
00:51:51,542 --> 00:51:52,250
（K星土語）灰燼
983
00:51:53,917 --> 00:51:58,625
（K星土語）灰燼
984
00:51:58,792 --> 00:51:59,625
灰燼
985
00:52:03,667 --> 00:52:05,375
你來搬他 我去開車
986
00:52:17,792 --> 00:52:18,250
什麼人
987
00:52:19,292 --> 00:52:20,250
把手裏東西放下
988
00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:21,250
別亂動
989
00:52:52,167 --> 00:52:53,000
什麼鍋底啊
990
00:52:54,042 --> 00:52:55,125
兩個都是清湯
991
00:52:56,042 --> 00:52:56,500
點菜吧
992
00:52:57,792 --> 00:52:58,500
服務員
993
00:52:59,292 --> 00:52:59,875
來了
994
00:53:00,917 --> 00:53:02,000
你跟誠勇學的吧
995
00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:02,750
什麼
996
00:53:02,917 --> 00:53:03,875
雙響指
997
00:53:05,042 --> 00:53:05,500
不是
998
00:53:06,167 --> 00:53:07,125
我本來就會
999
00:53:12,167 --> 00:53:13,750
你們的手長得真像
1000
00:53:21,042 --> 00:53:22,625
你也是這麼對劉連枝的吧
1001
00:53:35,417 --> 00:53:36,750
我車到橋洞了
1002
00:53:37,042 --> 00:53:37,875
好這就過去
1003
00:53:38,042 --> 00:53:39,000
你給我拿來
1004
00:53:40,417 --> 00:53:41,875
你誰啊 憑什麼命令誠勇
1005
00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:50,250
趕緊走 假裝不認識我
1006
00:53:51,042 --> 00:53:51,875
誠勇
1007
00:53:52,167 --> 00:53:52,750
走
1008
00:53:53,167 --> 00:53:54,125
你聽不懂我說什麼嗎
1009
00:53:54,542 --> 00:53:55,125
你趕緊
1010
00:53:55,417 --> 00:53:56,875
我沒辦法不認識你
1011
00:54:03,292 --> 00:54:03,875
誠勇
1012
00:54:06,417 --> 00:54:07,750
我們回去吧
1013
00:54:09,792 --> 00:54:12,000
永遠活在九九年
1014
00:54:22,667 --> 00:54:23,625
放開吧
1015
00:54:24,792 --> 00:54:25,750
我該走了
1016
00:54:28,042 --> 00:54:29,125
我們都知道
1017
00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:31,375
誠勇想離開
1018
00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:33,250
除非殺了我
1019
00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:43,750
我喜歡看誠勇打拳
1020
00:54:44,292 --> 00:54:45,500
又快 又准
1021
00:54:48,042 --> 00:54:49,125
我時常問自己
1022
00:54:50,417 --> 00:54:51,375
到底什麼樣的女孩
1023
00:54:51,542 --> 00:54:53,250
才能配得上王誠勇啊
1024
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,250
奧黛麗赫本
1025
00:54:57,542 --> 00:54:58,750
可惜去得早
1026
00:55:00,417 --> 00:55:01,875
白蛇傳裏的白素貞
1027
00:55:03,667 --> 00:55:04,875
可惜是個妖怪
1028
00:55:06,792 --> 00:55:07,625
但幸好
1029
00:55:08,667 --> 00:55:09,750
我們還有楊藝
1030
00:55:11,167 --> 00:55:13,625
帶上女記者 滾遠點
1031
00:55:20,792 --> 00:55:22,375
你配不上楊藝
1032
00:55:27,417 --> 00:55:30,125
怪不得她跟了泡泡
1033
00:55:32,792 --> 00:55:33,750
王誠勇
1034
00:55:38,417 --> 00:55:40,500
你活該
1035
00:55:44,542 --> 00:55:45,750
怎麼多了兩個杯子
1036
00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:47,125
給我爸媽的
1037
00:55:48,167 --> 00:55:49,250
他們一會兒要來呀
1038
00:55:49,417 --> 00:55:51,000
不 悼念他們
1039
00:55:51,917 --> 00:55:53,625
對不起 我不知道叔叔阿姨
1040
00:55:53,792 --> 00:55:54,625
沒關係
1041
00:55:56,417 --> 00:55:58,000
沒有誰會永遠陪在你身邊
1042
00:55:58,292 --> 00:56:00,375
我可以 永遠陪著你
1043
00:56:00,542 --> 00:56:00,875
永遠
1044
00:56:01,042 --> 00:56:01,875
我認真的
1045
00:56:02,042 --> 00:56:03,750
我多鍛煉 不挑食
1046
00:56:03,917 --> 00:56:04,875
早睡早起
1047
00:56:05,167 --> 00:56:06,375
一定死的比你晚
1048
00:56:06,667 --> 00:56:07,375
這樣的話
1049
00:56:07,917 --> 00:56:10,500
只要你活著就能永遠看到我
1050
00:56:13,042 --> 00:56:14,250
喜歡這個計劃
1051
00:56:32,792 --> 00:56:33,500
誠勇
1052
00:56:43,792 --> 00:56:44,750
王誠勇
1053
00:56:54,042 --> 00:56:55,000
脖子怎麼了
1054
00:56:59,042 --> 00:56:59,875
頸飾
1055
00:57:00,292 --> 00:57:01,125
流行飾品
1056
00:57:03,417 --> 00:57:04,375
你戴上
1057
00:57:04,792 --> 00:57:05,750
真可愛
1058
00:57:08,417 --> 00:57:08,875
嗯嗯
1059
00:57:09,167 --> 00:57:09,875
閉嘴
1060
00:57:10,042 --> 00:57:10,750
髒豬
1061
00:57:14,667 --> 00:57:16,000
我再也不是豬了
1062
00:58:07,167 --> 00:58:08,375
楊藝是我的
1063
00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:10,125
誰都不給
1064
00:58:11,792 --> 00:58:13,375
是你先扔下我的
1065
00:58:15,542 --> 00:58:17,125
說是為了我好
1066
00:58:17,292 --> 00:58:18,500
跟所有人都斷了聯繫
1067
00:58:18,667 --> 00:58:19,125
你去哪兒了
1068
00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:20,000
為什麼走
1069
00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:28,750
我的未來太壞了
1070
00:58:29,792 --> 00:58:31,750
不想把你們捲進來
1071
00:58:32,917 --> 00:58:34,625
可真會自我犧牲啊
1072
00:58:39,542 --> 00:58:41,625
我太害怕你們會先離開我
1073
00:58:49,167 --> 00:58:49,625
誠勇
1074
00:58:52,167 --> 00:58:53,500
我不想變成大人
1075
00:58:55,292 --> 00:58:57,250
喜歡的東西一樣都抓不住
1076
00:58:59,667 --> 00:59:02,500
我用了很笨的辦法讓自己不去難過
1077
00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:07,000
還找了一個跟你很像的人在一起
1078
00:59:09,042 --> 00:59:10,125
總覺得這樣
1079
00:59:11,667 --> 00:59:13,125
九九年的暑假
1080
00:59:15,917 --> 00:59:18,125
就永遠都不會結束了吧
1081
00:59:26,417 --> 00:59:27,125
楊藝
1082
00:59:28,542 --> 00:59:29,625
我不想你這樣
1083
00:59:39,167 --> 00:59:40,375
那就滾回去
1084
00:59:43,042 --> 00:59:44,625
變成更好的大人
1085
00:59:48,542 --> 00:59:50,125
永遠都不要扔下我
1086
01:00:00,917 --> 01:00:02,875
誠勇沒法答應楊藝
1087
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:05,500
直到他們互相看不見
1088
01:00:05,917 --> 01:00:07,625
都沒再說一句話
1089
01:00:09,792 --> 01:00:10,750
幾天之後
1090
01:00:11,792 --> 01:00:13,375
楊藝吃下過量旯蟆毒素
1091
01:00:15,167 --> 01:00:17,250
這讓她的屍體變得粉紅
1092
01:00:19,792 --> 01:00:21,000
就像十八歲
1093
01:00:24,042 --> 01:00:24,750
榴蓮
1094
01:00:27,167 --> 01:00:27,875
劉連枝
1095
01:00:31,167 --> 01:00:32,250
我想去找你
1096
01:00:34,542 --> 01:00:35,375
王炸
1097
01:00:36,167 --> 01:00:37,625
我男朋友從外國回來了
1098
01:00:40,667 --> 01:00:42,625
我可能得出國陪他一段時間
1099
01:00:45,792 --> 01:00:46,500
王炸
1100
01:00:48,792 --> 01:00:49,125
王
1101
01:00:55,792 --> 01:00:57,000
好消息
1102
01:00:57,167 --> 01:00:58,500
天大的好消息
1103
01:00:58,667 --> 01:00:59,875
好消息
1104
01:01:00,042 --> 01:01:01,500
天大的好消息
1105
01:01:01,667 --> 01:01:02,750
好消息
1106
01:01:02,917 --> 01:01:04,500
天大的好消息
1107
01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:05,750
好消息
1108
01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:12,375
九九年暑假結束的時候
1109
01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:16,125
世界沒有毀滅
1110
01:01:18,292 --> 01:01:19,875
我們也沒有變得更好
1111
01:01:23,292 --> 01:01:25,125
我想起誠勇和泡泡
1112
01:01:29,042 --> 01:01:30,750
就像是很久以前的事了
1113
01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:36,375
很久以前
1114
01:01:37,667 --> 01:01:39,625
我在醫院做主刀醫生
1115
01:01:40,167 --> 01:01:41,500
出了事故被開除
1116
01:01:42,542 --> 01:01:45,125
家屬同事所有人都恨我
1117
01:01:46,042 --> 01:01:47,500
只有我兒子對我說
1118
01:01:48,042 --> 01:01:49,875
一切都會好起來的
1119
01:01:50,792 --> 01:01:52,375
於是我不顧一切
1120
01:01:53,167 --> 01:01:56,000
用二十年的時間讓生活變得好起來
1121
01:01:58,042 --> 01:01:59,750
當我再給兒子打電話時
1122
01:02:00,167 --> 01:02:02,875
您好 您拔打的用戶暫時無法接聽
1123
01:02:03,042 --> 01:02:04,500
請稍後再撥
1124
01:02:05,542 --> 01:02:07,750
兒子不再跟我講話
1125
01:02:07,917 --> 01:02:10,500
因為我成了反派
1126
01:02:10,667 --> 01:02:12,750
所以今天
1127
01:02:12,917 --> 01:02:15,250
我帶來這樣一個眾籌項目
1128
01:02:16,417 --> 01:02:18,500
如何統治世界
1129
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:22,375
我知道這聽起來很荒唐
1130
01:02:22,542 --> 01:02:24,625
讓我們開門見山
1131
01:02:24,792 --> 01:02:26,875
假如有一種藥劑
1132
01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:31,375
它能讓人的大腦退化二十年
1133
01:02:31,667 --> 01:02:34,000
我們將它投放至全球
1134
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:38,500
統治世界就不再是癡人說夢了
1135
01:02:39,042 --> 01:02:41,125
下面請看一個實驗
1136
01:02:43,667 --> 01:02:44,375
誠勇
1137
01:02:45,417 --> 01:02:47,750
是我的一名臨床試驗對像
1138
01:02:48,042 --> 01:02:51,875
他的身體被自己二十年前的意識所控制
1139
01:02:52,042 --> 01:02:55,750
我們從他血液裏提取出一種驚人的物質
1140
01:02:56,667 --> 01:02:58,375
誠勇一號
1141
01:02:59,417 --> 01:03:03,625
台上是二十四名植物人
1142
01:03:03,792 --> 01:03:07,375
二十年前他們還擁有清醒的意識
1143
01:03:08,792 --> 01:03:11,750
我們把誠勇一號注入他們身體
1144
01:03:12,167 --> 01:03:14,125
他們二十年前的意識
1145
01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:16,250
將被誠勇一號奪取
1146
01:03:18,042 --> 01:03:20,375
他們過去的身體
1147
01:03:20,542 --> 01:03:22,500
將只剩空殼
1148
01:03:53,042 --> 01:03:55,500
師傅 我們的命可是真大啊
1149
01:03:55,917 --> 01:03:57,125
師傅
1150
01:04:00,792 --> 01:04:02,375
爸 廚房著火了
1151
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:07,500
窗戶先開開 走走味
1152
01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:09,875
幹嘛做這麼多菜啊
1153
01:04:10,042 --> 01:04:11,375
一會家裏有客人來
1154
01:04:11,792 --> 01:04:13,875
那也別逞能啊廚房差點沒了
1155
01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:16,000
這家裏沒個女人真是不行
1156
01:04:16,792 --> 01:04:18,375
你什麼時候帶楊藝回家啊
1157
01:04:18,542 --> 01:04:19,750
我在你這歲數啊
1158
01:04:19,917 --> 01:04:21,625
給你媽都寫過八百封情書了
1159
01:04:21,917 --> 01:04:23,500
給你念封露骨的
1160
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:27,750
一會兒誰來咱們家吃飯啊
1161
01:04:28,167 --> 01:04:28,875
兩個客戶
1162
01:04:29,417 --> 01:04:30,125
王炸和泡泡
1163
01:04:30,292 --> 01:04:32,125
爸 我們絕交了
1164
01:04:32,542 --> 01:04:33,625
小孩那點屁事
1165
01:04:34,167 --> 01:04:35,125
吃頓好的什麼都忘了
1166
01:04:35,667 --> 01:04:36,500
你不懂
1167
01:04:37,042 --> 01:04:38,000
別管我閒事行嗎
1168
01:04:46,042 --> 01:04:48,500
實驗非常成功
1169
01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:53,375
二十年前的清醒意識重回植物人體內
1170
01:04:53,542 --> 01:04:55,625
現在資助我們
1171
01:04:55,792 --> 01:04:59,375
讓全世界充滿二十年前的人類吧
1172
01:04:59,542 --> 01:05:01,250
那樣 我們就有機會
1173
01:05:01,417 --> 01:05:03,625
重新塑造這個世界
1174
01:05:03,792 --> 01:05:05,750
經過重新塑造
1175
01:05:07,042 --> 01:05:07,875
我的兒子
1176
01:05:08,042 --> 01:05:11,625
就一定會接我的電話
1177
01:05:13,167 --> 01:05:15,625
發佈會到此結束
1178
01:05:15,792 --> 01:05:16,875
謝謝各位
1179
01:05:24,167 --> 01:05:25,375
你懷裏的孩子呢
1180
01:05:26,417 --> 01:05:28,875
那只是個代替品 現在不需要了
1181
01:05:30,542 --> 01:05:32,500
那這些試驗品還需要嗎
1182
01:05:35,292 --> 01:05:37,125
明白了 我去找人打掃
1183
01:05:42,417 --> 01:05:43,250
把人都給我放了
1184
01:05:44,917 --> 01:05:46,625
對女人動手
1185
01:05:46,792 --> 01:05:48,250
可不算是男子漢
1186
01:05:53,542 --> 01:05:54,500
對不起
1187
01:05:54,667 --> 01:05:55,750
請您把人放了
1188
01:05:57,417 --> 01:05:58,375
還真是個孩子
1189
01:06:06,542 --> 01:06:08,625
誠勇和他爸看起來都很嚴肅
1190
01:06:08,917 --> 01:06:09,750
爸
1191
01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:11,875
但一張嘴就沒正經
1192
01:06:16,042 --> 01:06:18,250
你這頭型真顯老
1193
01:06:18,417 --> 01:06:21,000
這是他們這輩子倒數第二個玩笑
1194
01:06:35,292 --> 01:06:36,500
又闖什麼禍了
1195
01:06:38,542 --> 01:06:39,250
爸
1196
01:06:41,542 --> 01:06:42,375
先回九九年再說
1197
01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:43,625
什麼
1198
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,000
你要造反啊 你
1199
01:06:46,667 --> 01:06:47,375
不應該啊
1200
01:06:50,042 --> 01:06:50,875
別弄了
1201
01:06:52,292 --> 01:06:52,750
爸
1202
01:06:54,917 --> 01:06:56,125
你回不了九九年了
1203
01:06:58,417 --> 01:06:59,125
誠勇
1204
01:06:59,792 --> 01:07:01,375
爸是跑不動了
1205
01:07:02,292 --> 01:07:03,750
可你還小
1206
01:07:05,042 --> 01:07:08,500
往後的路還很長
1207
01:07:08,667 --> 01:07:10,875
爸 要死一起死
1208
01:07:11,042 --> 01:07:12,500
我絕不會丟下你
1209
01:07:13,167 --> 01:07:13,875
想什麼呢你
1210
01:07:14,042 --> 01:07:15,250
我是讓你背著我跑
1211
01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:53,500
你不是我認識的誠勇
1212
01:07:57,792 --> 01:07:59,000
共事一場
1213
01:08:03,542 --> 01:08:04,750
我替你選一張不太疼的
1214
01:08:24,417 --> 01:08:25,500
誠勇跟我說
1215
01:08:26,667 --> 01:08:27,750
夢是黑白的
1216
01:08:30,667 --> 01:08:31,875
他一直都沒醒過來
1217
01:08:33,542 --> 01:08:34,375
我就知道
1218
01:08:35,042 --> 01:08:36,125
誠勇的一部分
1219
01:08:36,917 --> 01:08:37,750
永遠死掉了
1220
01:08:40,542 --> 01:08:41,875
耀眼的那部分
1221
01:08:47,167 --> 01:08:48,625
（K星土語）親愛的
1222
01:08:50,167 --> 01:08:52,625
（K星土語）韓是你麼
1223
01:08:56,292 --> 01:08:57,125
（K星土語）你走以後
1224
01:08:58,417 --> 01:09:01,000
（K星土語）就再也沒人跟我講K星語
1225
01:09:01,167 --> 01:09:03,375
（K星土語）韓我怎麼這麼老了
1226
01:09:03,542 --> 01:09:05,375
（K星土語）我病了麼
1227
01:09:05,542 --> 01:09:07,875
（K星土語）你沒有病
1228
01:09:09,667 --> 01:09:10,375
很快
1229
01:09:12,542 --> 01:09:14,125
我要讓這個世界
1230
01:09:15,167 --> 01:09:16,750
都變得像你一樣
1231
01:09:34,167 --> 01:09:35,250
我們算和好了吧
1232
01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:55,125
該替叔叔報仇了
1233
01:10:00,792 --> 01:10:01,625
想報仇
1234
01:10:02,917 --> 01:10:03,750
就憑你們仨
1235
01:10:03,917 --> 01:10:05,875
對非得把延生藥業打出屎來
1236
01:10:06,042 --> 01:10:07,500
十八歲小孩嘴巴放乾淨點
1237
01:10:07,667 --> 01:10:08,250
你知道了
1238
01:10:08,417 --> 01:10:09,000
說實話
1239
01:10:09,167 --> 01:10:11,250
你十八歲跟三十八歲真沒一點區別
1240
01:10:11,417 --> 01:10:12,875
少廢話把我們放了
1241
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:13,750
不然連你一塊揍
1242
01:10:16,542 --> 01:10:18,500
我今天早上黑進了三爺的手機
1243
01:10:19,167 --> 01:10:19,875
聽見了這個
1244
01:10:21,292 --> 01:10:24,250
我的孩子 今年二十七歲
1245
01:10:24,792 --> 01:10:26,750
吸入誠勇一號以後
1246
01:10:27,042 --> 01:10:29,125
他的記憶和智商
1247
01:10:29,292 --> 01:10:31,125
都會退到七歲時的樣子
1248
01:10:31,417 --> 01:10:33,125
世界不會善待他的
1249
01:10:33,667 --> 01:10:37,375
所以我才想讓全人類退化二十年來陪他
1250
01:10:38,917 --> 01:10:39,875
一周以後
1251
01:10:40,042 --> 01:10:41,750
我們要噴灑誠勇一號
1252
01:10:42,917 --> 01:10:44,375
那時候的九九年
1253
01:10:44,667 --> 01:10:47,125
會變成只有人類空殼的世界
1254
01:10:47,292 --> 01:10:48,250
那我們趕快報警吧
1255
01:10:48,417 --> 01:10:50,250
這種劇情誰會相信
1256
01:10:50,417 --> 01:10:52,250
那我們練武功 自己殺壞人
1257
01:10:53,167 --> 01:10:54,750
暴力不能解決任何問題
1258
01:10:59,167 --> 01:11:00,875
那是因為我們還不夠憤怒
1259
01:11:12,667 --> 01:11:13,375
一二
1260
01:11:14,417 --> 01:11:15,125
一二
1261
01:11:16,917 --> 01:11:17,500
加油
1262
01:11:33,542 --> 01:11:35,125
沒用的蒙太奇
1263
01:11:37,542 --> 01:11:38,375
看好了
1264
01:11:42,542 --> 01:11:43,875
這是我一拳的力量
1265
01:11:44,292 --> 01:11:45,375
想要對付延生
1266
01:11:45,792 --> 01:11:46,250
起碼跟我一個水平
1267
01:11:46,417 --> 01:11:47,625
我命由我不由天
1268
01:11:52,542 --> 01:11:53,500
送你一首歌
1269
01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:03,125
我們只剩三天時間訓練
1270
01:12:03,792 --> 01:12:04,625
直接實戰
1271
01:12:04,792 --> 01:12:06,000
一起上吧
1272
01:12:16,292 --> 01:12:16,625
實戰
1273
01:12:27,417 --> 01:12:28,375
停
1274
01:12:28,542 --> 01:12:29,625
幹嘛老追著我打啊
1275
01:12:30,042 --> 01:12:31,250
因為我不想你被打敗
1276
01:12:34,917 --> 01:12:36,500
我不早就被你男朋友打敗了
1277
01:12:36,917 --> 01:12:38,000
他已經跑回國外了
1278
01:12:38,792 --> 01:12:39,750
就因為我這隻眼睛
1279
01:12:42,417 --> 01:12:45,625
你的眼睛本來也一般啊
1280
01:12:45,917 --> 01:12:46,875
輪不到你來評價我
1281
01:12:47,042 --> 01:12:48,000
輪不到你來評價我
1282
01:12:48,792 --> 01:12:50,500
你別忘了 你這命都是我救的
1283
01:12:50,917 --> 01:12:52,125
有本事你拿回去啊
1284
01:12:52,292 --> 01:12:53,125
有本事拿回去
1285
01:12:53,542 --> 01:12:54,125
有本事
1286
01:12:56,667 --> 01:12:57,250
以後
1287
01:12:58,542 --> 01:12:59,250
老子保護你
1288
01:13:05,667 --> 01:13:06,875
你先保護你自己吧
1289
01:13:08,792 --> 01:13:10,125
你腿沒事兒吧
1290
01:13:19,167 --> 01:13:19,500
楊藝
1291
01:13:20,167 --> 01:13:21,500
我是不會讓你在未來受苦的
1292
01:13:21,792 --> 01:13:22,625
什麼意思呀
1293
01:13:23,167 --> 01:13:24,000
誠勇 你什麼意思呀
1294
01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:24,625
楊藝
1295
01:13:25,542 --> 01:13:27,625
我絕對不會讓你和誠勇在未來受苦的
1296
01:13:32,292 --> 01:13:33,750
不管你們做什麼
1297
01:13:33,917 --> 01:13:35,500
加油啊
1298
01:14:08,292 --> 01:14:09,125
這是
1299
01:14:10,042 --> 01:14:10,750
怎麼做到的
1300
01:14:11,792 --> 01:14:12,750
我們在九九年
1301
01:14:13,042 --> 01:14:14,375
吃下了一瓶旯蟆毒素
1302
01:14:17,167 --> 01:14:18,625
該替叔叔報仇了
1303
01:14:19,417 --> 01:14:20,500
透過瓶子上的小孔
1304
01:14:20,667 --> 01:14:22,125
毒素每天都會滲出來一點
1305
01:14:22,292 --> 01:14:24,000
只有大量運動產生足夠多的汗
1306
01:14:24,167 --> 01:14:25,375
才能把毒素代謝掉
1307
01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:29,000
日復一日年復一年
1308
01:14:29,167 --> 01:14:30,750
無論發生什麼 都不能停止訓練
1309
01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:31,875
要麼死
1310
01:14:32,042 --> 01:14:33,875
要麼更加兇狠地戰鬥
1311
01:14:34,417 --> 01:14:37,000
沒時間去想每天死裏逃生的意義是什麼
1312
01:14:37,167 --> 01:14:38,250
直到二十年後
1313
01:14:38,542 --> 01:14:40,000
整瓶毒藥被汗水代謝完畢
1314
01:14:40,167 --> 01:14:41,125
我們停下來
1315
01:14:41,292 --> 01:14:42,500
發現自己
1316
01:14:42,667 --> 01:14:44,250
再也不一樣了
1317
01:14:49,167 --> 01:14:50,625
這比買彩票靠譜多了
1318
01:14:55,042 --> 01:14:57,000
我們啟航後前往公海
1319
01:15:00,792 --> 01:15:02,625
船上的誠勇一號生產線
1320
01:15:02,792 --> 01:15:04,000
將不受干擾地運行
1321
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,500
第二批藥劑今晚下線
1322
01:15:07,042 --> 01:15:08,000
要繼續生產
1323
01:15:08,417 --> 01:15:09,375
需要誠勇的血液
1324
01:15:10,042 --> 01:15:11,750
這是誠勇最後的血清
1325
01:15:12,292 --> 01:15:13,250
要謹慎保管
1326
01:15:13,417 --> 01:15:14,000
放心吧
1327
01:15:14,667 --> 01:15:16,125
（K星土語）集合
1328
01:15:19,042 --> 01:15:21,500
這是世界上最頂級的僱傭軍
1329
01:15:21,667 --> 01:15:23,000
時薪六十萬
1330
01:15:23,167 --> 01:15:24,750
除三爺你我之外
1331
01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:28,250
他們會殺死每一個接近血清的人
1332
01:15:34,417 --> 01:15:35,375
大意了
1333
01:15:56,292 --> 01:15:58,875
（K星土語）集合
1334
01:15:59,417 --> 01:16:00,125
都幹掉了
1335
01:16:02,542 --> 01:16:04,125
時薪六十萬
1336
01:16:06,417 --> 01:16:08,500
本打算僱傭十二天
1337
01:16:09,167 --> 01:16:10,250
這錢你們拿走
1338
01:16:10,417 --> 01:16:11,000
下船吧
1339
01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:12,250
這沒人在乎錢
1340
01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,500
六十萬乘以十二乘以二十
1341
01:16:14,667 --> 01:16:16,875
那就把你們的血留下
1342
01:16:17,292 --> 01:16:19,250
製造出更多的藥劑
1343
01:16:19,417 --> 01:16:20,250
灑遍全世界
1344
01:16:20,417 --> 01:16:21,375
別吹了
1345
01:16:21,542 --> 01:16:22,500
我們四打一不公平
1346
01:16:22,792 --> 01:16:23,875
你趕快找幫手
1347
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:28,750
三爺
1348
01:16:36,917 --> 01:16:40,375
V國歷945年
1349
01:16:40,792 --> 01:16:43,875
V國已經沒有戰鬥機了
1350
01:16:44,292 --> 01:16:47,375
我們在烏鴉身上綁了炸彈
1351
01:16:47,542 --> 01:16:51,250
並用儀器控制它們的飛行路線
1352
01:16:51,542 --> 01:16:54,875
這將是V國最後的空襲
1353
01:16:56,792 --> 01:16:58,125
今天是個雙休日
1354
01:16:59,417 --> 01:17:02,875
早上研究了一下V國的烏鴉控制器
1355
01:17:03,042 --> 01:17:06,250
突然有了一個控制鴉群的新思路
1356
01:17:06,417 --> 01:17:08,875
就是用現在的遊戲界面
1357
01:17:09,042 --> 01:17:11,500
連接上萬個烏鴉控制器
1358
01:17:11,917 --> 01:17:14,000
只要操縱者玩過紅警
1359
01:17:14,292 --> 01:17:16,250
就能號令鴉群啦
1360
01:18:03,292 --> 01:18:04,000
然後呢
1361
01:18:04,417 --> 01:18:05,375
你昏倒了兩秒
1362
01:18:06,042 --> 01:18:06,875
那你們呢
1363
01:18:08,042 --> 01:18:09,250
韓光像個吉普車似的
1364
01:18:09,417 --> 01:18:10,750
把我們撞個人仰馬翻
1365
01:18:11,292 --> 01:18:12,125
我也撞他
1366
01:18:12,917 --> 01:18:14,125
韓光抓住我後背
1367
01:18:14,792 --> 01:18:15,500
穿透皮肉
1368
01:18:15,792 --> 01:18:16,750
勒斷骨頭
1369
01:18:17,042 --> 01:18:19,000
把我扔到了二十米外的劉連枝身上
1370
01:18:21,042 --> 01:18:21,750
那王炸呢
1371
01:18:21,917 --> 01:18:24,000
他繞到韓光背後準備偷襲
1372
01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:25,000
那你們成功了嗎
1373
01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:26,000
王炸跟我說
1374
01:18:26,167 --> 01:18:28,375
強壯之後 最苦惱的是力量控制
1375
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:29,875
老不小心撞碎門框
1376
01:18:30,042 --> 01:18:30,500
還有玻璃
1377
01:18:30,917 --> 01:18:31,250
塑料
1378
01:18:31,667 --> 01:18:32,125
陶瓷
1379
01:18:32,417 --> 01:18:32,875
橡膠
1380
01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:34,625
甚至人體都一碰即碎
1381
01:18:34,792 --> 01:18:36,250
整個世界就像是豆腐做成的
1382
01:18:36,667 --> 01:18:37,625
直到跟韓光交手
1383
01:18:37,792 --> 01:18:39,375
他覺得自己在打一堵石牆
1384
01:18:39,667 --> 01:18:41,500
不 是整棟樓
1385
01:18:42,042 --> 01:18:42,875
從天而降
1386
01:18:43,042 --> 01:18:43,875
就像
1387
01:18:44,042 --> 01:18:44,625
泰山壓頂
1388
01:19:06,542 --> 01:19:07,375
有點長進
1389
01:19:18,042 --> 01:19:19,000
你平時帶負重
1390
01:19:19,167 --> 01:19:21,000
只是些鋨片而已
1391
01:19:22,917 --> 01:19:23,875
你叫什麼來著
1392
01:19:24,542 --> 01:19:25,625
劉連枝
1393
01:19:26,167 --> 01:19:28,500
師承淮北章州李書文
1394
01:19:29,417 --> 01:19:30,375
八極拳
1395
01:19:31,042 --> 01:19:32,000
韓光
1396
01:19:33,042 --> 01:19:34,250
師承
1397
01:19:35,417 --> 01:19:37,000
十六人街霸
1398
01:19:39,042 --> 01:19:40,000
還打嗎
1399
01:19:51,792 --> 01:19:52,500
妙啊
1400
01:21:56,667 --> 01:21:58,500
影廳設備出現故障
1401
01:21:58,667 --> 01:22:00,125
請各位稍等
1402
01:22:01,042 --> 01:22:01,875
謝謝
1403
01:22:06,667 --> 01:22:08,250
趁設備故障
1404
01:22:08,667 --> 01:22:10,250
咱們來聊聊死亡吧
1405
01:22:12,042 --> 01:22:14,500
剛開始周圍是一片漆黑
1406
01:22:15,917 --> 01:22:16,625
接著
1407
01:22:17,667 --> 01:22:19,625
你會來到一個明亮又溫暖的地方
1408
01:22:21,167 --> 01:22:23,500
大銀幕上開始播放我人生的走馬燈
1409
01:22:24,917 --> 01:22:27,125
雖然大多數畫面都不堪回首
1410
01:22:27,792 --> 01:22:30,750
但有一幕卻非常關鍵
1411
01:22:32,417 --> 01:22:33,750
十六人街霸
1412
01:22:35,167 --> 01:22:36,125
能借我玩玩嗎
1413
01:22:36,417 --> 01:22:38,125
可以 你叫什麼
1414
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,625
韓光 師承十六人街霸
1415
01:22:48,167 --> 01:22:49,000
還打嗎
1416
01:22:58,417 --> 01:22:59,000
韓光
1417
01:23:00,792 --> 01:23:01,375
王炸
1418
01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:03,000
你好
1419
01:23:03,417 --> 01:23:04,625
我一點也不好
1420
01:23:04,792 --> 01:23:05,875
我還以為你死了
1421
01:23:06,292 --> 01:23:08,250
我腦子小 死不了
1422
01:23:09,792 --> 01:23:10,500
韓光
1423
01:23:10,917 --> 01:23:12,625
你休想再玩我十六人街霸
1424
01:23:12,792 --> 01:23:14,500
我知道你九九年住哪
1425
01:23:14,667 --> 01:23:15,625
你給我等著
1426
01:24:54,792 --> 01:24:56,250
我們才十八歲
1427
01:24:56,417 --> 01:24:59,000
有的是時間去變成更好的人
1428
01:25:00,167 --> 01:25:01,875
如果我們變得更糟了呢
1429
01:25:05,792 --> 01:25:12,375
不要變壞啊
1430
01:25:17,167 --> 01:25:22,000
不要變壞
1431
01:25:22,167 --> 01:25:23,875
聽見了嗎
1432
01:25:37,917 --> 01:25:40,000
寶寶 你今天好美
1433
01:26:35,917 --> 01:26:37,750
炸哥 讓誰給花了
1434
01:26:37,917 --> 01:26:39,375
你叫韓光是吧
1435
01:26:40,417 --> 01:26:40,875
靠
1436
01:26:41,917 --> 01:26:42,750
你怎麼打人啊
1437
01:26:43,167 --> 01:26:44,250
十六人街霸還我
1438
01:26:45,167 --> 01:26:46,750
炸哥 你把卡拿走了我玩什麼啊
1439
01:26:46,917 --> 01:26:47,750
你以後
1440
01:26:47,917 --> 01:26:49,000
就玩吧
1441
01:26:51,792 --> 01:26:52,875
還有電影僊女
1442
01:27:00,417 --> 01:27:03,500
升龍拳
1443
01:27:40,292 --> 01:27:41,375
我這是怎麼了
1444
01:27:43,917 --> 01:27:46,375
適度遊戲益腦 沉迷遊戲傷身
1445
01:27:46,667 --> 01:27:47,250
王炸
1446
01:27:47,917 --> 01:27:49,125
烏鴉搞定了
1447
01:27:57,667 --> 01:27:58,375
好
1448
01:27:59,292 --> 01:28:01,625
下面有請市民劉女士為自己報仇
1449
01:28:03,667 --> 01:28:04,000
來
1450
01:28:04,917 --> 01:28:06,250
隨便選一個英文單詞
1451
01:28:07,292 --> 01:28:09,000
我
1452
01:28:23,667 --> 01:28:25,375
他剛說的英語單詞是Wall（牆）吧
1453
01:28:26,042 --> 01:28:27,250
英語的事你問我
1454
01:28:27,667 --> 01:28:28,500
真瞧得起人
1455
01:28:29,292 --> 01:28:30,125
您好
1456
01:28:30,542 --> 01:28:32,750
您所撥打的號碼是空號
1457
01:28:33,292 --> 01:28:34,750
請核對後再拔
1458
01:29:15,042 --> 01:29:16,500
怎麼這麼多桶
1459
01:29:17,167 --> 01:29:17,875
什麼時候能搬完啊
1460
01:29:18,292 --> 01:29:20,375
搞定了鴉群開始返航
1461
01:29:20,542 --> 01:29:22,375
五分鐘之後會撞沉這艘船
1462
01:29:22,542 --> 01:29:23,750
一了百了
1463
01:29:25,792 --> 01:29:26,625
還愣著幹嘛
1464
01:29:27,167 --> 01:29:28,375
趕緊上救生艇啊
1465
01:29:36,792 --> 01:29:37,500
那什麼
1466
01:29:38,167 --> 01:29:39,375
你自己走吧
1467
01:29:41,417 --> 01:29:44,500
別鬧了 會死的
1468
01:29:45,167 --> 01:29:47,875
三爺把藥劑配方發給了全世界
1469
01:29:48,792 --> 01:29:50,375
只要活在一九年
1470
01:29:50,542 --> 01:29:52,500
就總會有人來搶走我們的血
1471
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:54,375
再合成藥劑
1472
01:29:55,292 --> 01:29:57,000
我們得跟船一起沉掉
1473
01:30:00,667 --> 01:30:01,375
那我呢
1474
01:30:14,292 --> 01:30:16,250
我討厭長大後的一切
1475
01:30:17,292 --> 01:30:18,625
只喜歡你
1476
01:30:34,917 --> 01:30:37,375
晴天 池塘 撈小蝦
1477
01:30:37,667 --> 01:30:38,250
什麼意思啊
1478
01:30:40,167 --> 01:30:41,750
記住我說的每一樣東西
1479
01:30:42,042 --> 01:30:43,875
那都是我從小就喜歡的
1480
01:30:44,167 --> 01:30:45,625
然後回到九九年
1481
01:30:46,167 --> 01:30:46,750
抓住我
1482
01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:48,375
一輩子很短
1483
01:30:48,542 --> 01:30:50,000
我不想浪費在別人身上
1484
01:30:52,417 --> 01:30:56,750
晴天 池塘 撈小蝦 棉花糖
1485
01:30:57,292 --> 01:30:58,625
三毛流浪記
1486
01:30:58,917 --> 01:31:00,125
星期六
1487
01:31:00,417 --> 01:31:01,250
彈弓
1488
01:31:01,667 --> 01:31:02,625
好彩奶奶
1489
01:31:03,167 --> 01:31:03,875
煙花
1490
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:05,750
二十四路公交車
1491
01:31:06,417 --> 01:31:07,500
橡皮鴨子
1492
01:31:08,042 --> 01:31:09,000
人民路
1493
01:31:09,542 --> 01:31:10,500
酸辣白菜
1494
01:31:11,167 --> 01:31:12,500
藍色自行車
1495
01:31:13,042 --> 01:31:14,250
臘肉飯
1496
01:31:14,667 --> 01:31:15,875
玻璃珠子
1497
01:31:16,417 --> 01:31:17,625
橘子汽水
1498
01:31:18,292 --> 01:31:19,375
紅色的鞋
1499
01:31:20,167 --> 01:31:21,500
小青蛙相機
1500
01:31:22,292 --> 01:31:23,250
小豬罐
1501
01:31:23,917 --> 01:31:24,875
燈籠
1502
01:31:25,292 --> 01:31:26,125
暑假
1503
01:31:27,042 --> 01:31:27,625
爬樹
1504
01:31:28,542 --> 01:31:29,375
談三花
1505
01:31:30,292 --> 01:31:31,000
府南河
1506
01:31:32,042 --> 01:31:32,875
兔子
1507
01:31:33,542 --> 01:31:34,000
人民南路
1508
01:31:42,042 --> 01:31:43,750
直到在九九年醒來
1509
01:31:44,292 --> 01:31:45,250
我才知道
1510
01:31:46,667 --> 01:31:48,875
劉連枝說的每一樣東西
1511
01:31:49,292 --> 01:31:50,875
都是我們注定要失去的
1512
01:31:53,542 --> 01:31:55,625
我們清楚地看過未來的痛苦
1513
01:31:56,417 --> 01:31:57,250
離別
1514
01:31:57,792 --> 01:31:59,000
和死亡
1515
01:32:01,042 --> 01:32:02,000
可即便如此
1516
01:32:03,417 --> 01:32:05,875
我們還是義無反顧地奔跑
1517
01:32:07,417 --> 01:32:09,125
像痛擊岩石的浪潮
1518
01:32:09,792 --> 01:32:12,375
一遍又一遍撲向陡峭的未來
1519
01:32:12,917 --> 01:32:16,000
劉連枝
1520
01:32:17,042 --> 01:32:18,875
想抱緊每一個人
1521
01:32:20,917 --> 01:32:21,750
就算短暫
1522
01:32:24,292 --> 01:32:25,875
想變成更好的人
1523
01:32:30,667 --> 01:32:32,250
哪怕最後會熄滅
1524
01:32:40,417 --> 01:32:42,625
我們變成曠野裏的星火
1525
01:32:46,792 --> 01:32:49,625
想在夜空裏炸個粉碎
1526
01:32:55,792 --> 01:32:57,500
照亮長夜吧
91298
