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Dr. Hayes used his hand to move down my body,

pinning me against the table.

Because this is the first accusation against him,

his privileges won't be revoked.

I understand how you feel... exactly how you feel.

Dr. Archer is aware of our family history.

Oh, that we have a 50/50 chance of inheriting

a cruel and sudden death?

Can't keep hiding from the truth.

We'll face it together.

I'm very sorry to say we cannot approve you

as a surrogate at this time.

It's something we found when we ran your labs.

The surgery's been canceled.

He rigged the system somehow.

He took the lungs from my patient

and gave them to his own daughter.

I did what I had to do to give my daughter a chance.

Would you rather have me just sit and watch her die?

Thank you for coming.

I didn't think you would.

Neither did I.

So what is it you want to say to me?

Um...

I've had a lot of time to think about what I did to you.

I was obviously not of right mind after Wendy died.

But I've been put on an antipsychotic,

and... and I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart.

I asked you to come here today

because I wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am

for the pain that I caused you.

And I wanted to ask

if you could find it in your heart to forgive me.

Stop.

Uh-uh.

You don't get to preach to me, ever.

And no, I don't forgive you.

Forgiving you won't erase the scar on my stomach.

It won't erase the fact that I see your face

when I close my eyes at night.

I have to live with

what happened to me every day.

And so should you.

I'll pray for you.

Pray for yourself.

I'm good.

You're pregnant?

Yeah.

Um...

does Mitch know?

You're the first person that I've told.

Look, I am so sorry.

This, um... this wasn't planned.

Do you... do you not believe me?

Of course I believe you.

But it's just typical Hannah.

Okay, look, Lizzy, I can have this baby,

and then I can still be your surrogate.

Oh, come on. How is that gonna work?

You will have a baby.

That will be your focus, your life.

I should have known better than to trust you again.

Oh, come on. That's not fair.

Fair? Are you kidding?

I've spent years watching out for you, after Mom died,

when you went to med school, when you got hooked on heroin.

I have done everything that I can

to help you on this journey to have a baby.

Oh, do you want some extra credit?

Lizzy!

I have been in this with you from the start,

and I have worked my ass off

to make up for all of those horrible things that I did!

This baby?

This baby isn't that.

Isn't there... isn't there some... some small part of you

that's actually happy for me?

Once again, it's my fault.

Stop.

You're a child.

Yeah, proudly.

Uh, I don't wanna keep you in suspense.

You're negative for GSS.

Congratulations.

Oh, my God.

Wait, wait, wait. I see the blue envelope in your pocket.

What does it say, Caty?

Also negative.

Thank God.

Oh, God!

I just assumed that we were...

Me too.

Wait, so what caused the weakness?

The same thing that caused your tremor.

Your brother has a severely herniated disk.

He's responding to steroids.

You should follow up with Dr. Abrams, but he'll make a full recovery.

And I'm... I'm...

I'm very happy for you, Caitlin.

Yeah, but what about me?

Yeah, I'm just less invested.

Oh.

Violet, you're going to Trauma 1.

- What have we got, Novak? - Auto versus tree.

19-year-old female, the driver and sole occupant.

BP 129/60, heart rate 75.

She hit it going 50.

Had to use the jaws of life to pry her out.

Multiple abrasions to the face and chest.

Feels like she could have a couple of broken ribs.

GCS was 13 to 14 on the ride in.

Call Dr. Charles.

Why?

This is his daughter, Anna.

- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.MY-SUBS.com -

Has anyone called her mother to let her know?

I did.

Susan's catching the first flight.

- Sharon, how's she doing? - She's holding her own.

CT scan found a nasal bone fracture, but no brain bleed.

Okay. Is she awake?

Uh, Dr. Ripley still has her sedated.

- Oh, my God, Anna. - Dr. Charles.

What's the status, buddy? What... what are we looking at?

I'm watching her concussion closely.

She, uh... she slammed her head pretty hard.

She also sustained three broken ribs

and a left distal radius fracture I reduced.

What's going on?

Why was my surgery canceled?

Noah, unfortunately, the ODA has changed course,

and they are giving the lungs to another recipient.

Wait, what?

But how can they just do that after they already said

they're giving the lungs to Noah?

I mean, how can they just do that?

No, they can't. This isn't right.

Just... I need you to explain to us

what happened so I can fix this.

Mr. Macron, I wish there was something I could do, okay?

And I tried my very best to argue our case

as strongly as I could.

Try harder.

I'm sorry.

So what do we do now?

Well, given the circumstances of Noah's lung function,

we need to buy some more time.

And the best way to do that is to put you on ECMO.

A machine that breathes for me?

Hey, look, I know that's scary, okay?

But you are still at the top of the transplant list.

Like that actually means something.

Walter, stop.

Okay, we need to do what it takes right now

to give you the best shot to be ready

when the next set of lungs come along.

Okay, but you said that ECMO could carry other risks

that might make transplant more difficult.

I did, yes.

We don't have any other choice.

And ECMO could give your lungs more time to heal.

How long can he survive on ECMO without new lungs?

A few weeks, maybe a month.

How soon does he have to go on it?

Within the hour.

I'll be okay, Dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're gonna be good.

You're gonna be okay.

Sweetie, you're doing great.

I...

I heard Griffin Lancer removed you as Alea's primary physician.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, he did.

The guy's an entitled egomaniac,

but I don't really blame him one bit.

Why?

'Cause you'd do the same thing for your kids?

Yeah.

In a twisted way, he's just being the best dad he knows how to be.

When you love someone that much,

it opens you up to so much pain.

They say it's like having your heart run around outside your body.

Yeah, it makes you wonder if it's really worth it.

Anna's oxygen saturation continues to improve,

using her incentive spirometer.

Okay, well, that... that sounds like really good news.

It's a step in the right direction.

The pulmonary contusion must not be

so bad under her rib fracture.

So the seat belt broke her ribs?

Uh, no.

Anna wasn't wearing a seat belt.

That doesn't sound like Anna.

She actually broke her ribs on the steering wheel upon impact.

Okay.

Makes sense.

When... when can we see her?

I'll call when she's ready for visitors.

- Thank you. - Thanks, Mitch.

Yeah.

It's gonna be okay, Dad.

Oh, I know. I know.

I'll feel a whole lot better when we can talk to her, you know?

I know.

You wanted to see me?

The board's been discussing some cuts

for the upcoming fiscal quarter.

I'm sorry. Where's this coming from?

The expected future loss of revenue from losing Dr. Hayes.

Well, your tone suggests that Dr. Hayes's departure

was somehow my fault.

Obviously, it was Dr. Hayes's fault,

though the very public nature of his departure

did leave Gaffney a little flat-footed.

I didn't leak the Hayes bombshell, Miranda.

I'm not saying you did, Sharon.

But it doesn't change the financial reality.

It's a list of approved cuts

you're expected to execute ASAP.

And I see Dr. Washington's name is on here too.

Hard times mean hard decisions.

So you're gonna fire our highly respected

chief of oncology who's been here nearly two decades?

I know that your ongoing relationship

with Dr. Washington might make this more complicated.

Complicated?

How?

If you'd like someone else to handle this...

I'll handle it.

Thank you for your professionalism, Sharon.

Uh-huh.

I just hope this is a kick in the ass for Kip.

He needs to move forward and no longer has prion as an excuse.

Yeah, well, he'll figure it out, right?

Well, Kip generally resists figuring things out.

He prefers to drift.

What about you?

What about me?

Well, this changes things for you too.

This changes nothing. I simply go back to work.

Ah, don't underestimate the significance

of a negative result.

Your future is more certain now.

Sure, if I don't drown in a lake

or have a sudden fatal heart attack.

You know what you should do, though?

You should travel.

Yeah, get out of here.

Just take a leave, one to two months, you know.

Just sit on the Spanish Steps in Rome

or just look out at Barcelona

from the top of the Sagrada Familia.

Are these things that you've done?

So the point is that an emergency department

is like a Vegas casino.

It tricks you into believing that time isn't passing.

It is.

Well, vacations make me anxious.

I'm always too hot or too cold.

I don't speak the language,

and my credit card bill explodes.

And I always end up just counting down the days

until I can get back to work.

That is deeply sad, but very on brand.

Cold, dead hearts, remember?

There you go.

I hear that Dr. Masukawa and her surgical team

will be by soon to get you prepped

and transferred to the OR.

Is it true?

Is what true?

Did my dad steal my lungs from somebody else?

I overheard someone in the hallway.

Organ donation is an imperfect process, Alea.

There's all kinds of conflicting factors

that can affect who gets them.

But there's never enough organs to go around,

so what's a miracle for you

will always be a heartbreak for someone else.

That sounds like a yes.

Your father loves you.

I know.

Save your strength and get some rest.

Focus on your surgery.

That's excellent advice, sweetheart.

I thought you weren't going to be caring

for my daughter anymore.

You only asked for Dr. Ripley to step aside,

and there are just so many nurses.

I like Maggie.

I want her to stay.

Don't worry about anything

except what needs to be done next.

You just focus on conquering each obstacle in front of you

until, eventually, you win the race.

And what if the race is unwinnable?

No such thing.

Is it time to sedate me?

When you're ready.

You doing okay?

I'm fine.

You know, you don't have to be fine, Noah.

It's okay to be scared.

You know that, right?

That's the thing, Dr. Frost.

I'm not scared.

I'm tired.

So, so tired.

I don't wanna die, but...

the thought of going to sleep and not waking up

is not... not so bad.

But I can't tell my parents that.

It would break their heart.

I have to be strong for them.

Especially Dad.

Hey, I can understand all of that,

okay, but here's the thing.

I think you still got some fight left in you.

I need you to do something for me, Dr. Frost.

Anything.

If I die...

will you tell my parents it's not their fault?

Hey.

Hey, how are you, buddy?

Hey, Grandma and Grandpa send love and strength.

Okay, Dr. Frost.

Oh, please, wait.

Wait.

Noah, the next time we see you,

you're gonna have a new pair of lungs.

Yeah.

Hey, the thing I'm proudest of in all the world

is being your dad.

I'm scared.

Me, too, buddy.

But you're... hey, you're gonna be fine.

I love you both so much.

We love you, our precious boy.

More than you can possibly imagine.

Okay.

I'm ready.

Hey.

I'm gonna see you soon, okay, Noah?

Good timing.

- Dad. - I'm right here, sweetie.

How you doing? Are you all right?

- How's my girl? - Much better.

I'm keeping a close eye on her O2 sats for the rib fractures

and her neuro checks for the concussion,

but, um, all things considered, she's very lucky.

Um, I feel kind of out of it.

Pain meds, honey. Just... they're gonna make you groggy.

That's all it is.

I'll check back in a little later.

Do you even remember what happened?

Oh, I don't know.

I... I think I hit a patch of gravel,

and the car just kind of got away from me.

I'm just curious why you didn't have your seat belt on.

That is so unlike you.

When you were a little kid, you wouldn't...

you wouldn't even let me start the car

unless everybody was buckled up.

I don't remember. I guess I forgot.

I'm worried about you. I am.

Ever since you... you came home, and you told me

you dropped out of school.

- I don't even... - Dad...

I do not under... no, no, I just don't understand

why you didn't feel like you could talk to me.

Dad, you're the last person I would want to talk to about anything.

What?

We... we were always pretty good at having those conversations.

That was a long time ago, Dad.

It was?

I don't need you analyzing me and giving me advice

based on some patient you just had,

who you've just suddenly decided to compare me to.

I'm not your puzzle to solve.

I'm your daughter.

Dad, can I talk to you for a moment?

Oh, my God, honey.

- Dad... - I think that your...

- I think your sister... - I... I know.

Anna drove into that tree on purpose.

She's been home with you for, what, a month?

I mean, did... did you know she was depressed?

I suspected.

And you didn't think to clue me in, Robin?

You know all about our family history.

I never imagined that it was this bad.

Instead, I get this dog and pony show

with luggage about being late from the airport

for Granny's funeral 'cause of all the traffic?

I didn't tell you because Anna didn't want you to know.

She's my sister. I was respecting her privacy.

- I'm her father. - That is the problem.

Honey, she just tried to kill herself.

Dad, I'm sorry, but it is not as easy to talk

- to you about this stuff... - Oh, Jesus Christ!

- You too? You too? - Yes. Me, too, Dad.

There is a line between you being our dad

and you being a shrink,

and sometimes you can't stop yourself from crossing it.

- Hey, there. - Hey.

Mm!

Everything okay?

Uh, Dennis, I wanted to let you know

that the board is concerned about the budget

in the wake of Dr. Hayes's dismissal.

And I'm on the chopping block.

You are, yes.

I lose my title and take a salary cut?

Well, it's a fairly minor salary cut

if you factor in a higher annual bonus.

I know it's not ideal.

That's an understatement.

It'll keep you at the hospital, Dennis.

My title is everything, Sharon.

It's what I've worked for over a long

and distinguished career.

And you know that.

It's the best deal I could get, Dennis.

Oh, really?

Did you threaten to walk?

Offer to take a pay cut yourself?

A lesser title?

I didn't think so.

The only one out here on a limb is me.

And I'm caught between you and the board,

and I'm paying a pretty steep price.

You're right.

You'll have my resignation on your desk by the end of the day.

I'm pretty sure that Anna...

Tried to kill herself this morning.

She, um, won't talk to me, for the first time ever.

And, um, I don't know what to do.

I'm so sorry, Daniel.

But I'm really glad you reached out.

Both Anna and Robin, earlier

today, in their own way,

told me maybe I'm not so...

easy to talk to,

confide in, as perhaps I thought I was.

Sound familiar?

Take it easy on yourself.

I mean, I always knew I left a lot to be desired

in the husband department, but I mean,

I thought I was a pretty good dad.

Apparently, I've let the shrink part get in the way,

despite my best efforts.

Would you consider the possibility

you're a good dad because you're a shrink?

No, I wouldn't, especially not today.

Sarah, I didn't come here

so you'd let me off the hook, okay?

Well, it's clear to me you are not interested

in being let off the hook by anyone,

least of all yourself.

I'm just wondering why that is.

'Cause it's my fault.

Why?

When I was locked in my 30-year cold war with my mom,

I swore to myself my relationship with my kids

would be different, that they would always know

that I was there for them, that... that I was their friend,

and that they would talk to me.

But I think that the sad truth is,

I just have no tolerance for their pain,

and it's my desperation to fix it...

maybe drives them away.

Daniel, all we can ever be is our best.

And as far as Anna, what I'm hearing is that

she needs you to completely put the shrink away.

What she needs right now is her dad.

Hey.

Uh, any update on the transplant team?

Dr. Masukawa said they'd be down here within the hour.

No, actually, I was told that Alea wanted to see me.

I have some questions about my condition.

Then you should ask Dr. Masukawa, not a nurse.

Dr. Masukawa avoids my questions

because she's afraid to piss you off.

Maggie, come in.

I wanna know more about the kid my dad took the new lungs from.

She didn't say a word, Dad.

I have eyes and ears.

Well, after my doctors assessed your current condition,

yes, the ODA determined that you were a better candidate

for the donated lungs,

and they were reassigned to you.

Meaning you bent them to your will.

You need those lungs more than that boy.

Is that true, Maggie?

Those lungs could buy him another 30 years.

Well, you just threw your career away, didn't you?

Stop bullying everyone for telling me the truth, Dad.

I hate that part of you.

How much time would the lungs give me?

Okay.

Alea, I'm not a doctor, but maybe a few months.

But I'm not trying to stop you from having the surgery.

The lungs are yours, and you deserve

a chance to live as much as that boy does.

But those are the facts.

Thank you, Maggie.

Okay.

It's simple math.

No, Alea.

People always use statistics and opinions

to tell you something's impossible.

The world has no lack of cold water

to throw on fresh ideas that have the possibility

of beating the odds.

I got to where I am by only trusting my own counsel.

I taught you to do the same.

I do trust my own counsel.

Which is why I'm not taking the lungs.

You will. You will take them.

- Yes, you will. - Look at him.

Look at Noah.

No, there... there... there are no other options.

Look at the life you're taking.

I will not allow you to die.

Do you hear me? You are everything to me.

You're the only good thing in this world.

You have a life that you deserve to live,

and I sure as hell am gonna make sure you have it.

I know you love me.

You don't say it much, but I always feel it.

I love you too.

But please, please, look at him.

I couldn't...

I couldn't save your mother.

I... Alea, I...

I can't lose you too.

We don't have a choice.

I love you.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

My resignation letter.

I was hoping you'd change your mind.

I gave it a lot of thought.

But in the end, nothing changed for me.

But I do wanna apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier.

I got personal.

I wasn't playing fair.

Well, I understand your anger, Dennis.

I do. You are collateral damage.

But, you know, I realized I've got some anger of my own,

and I need to be honest about that.

This is about Alex.

Well, that's why I moved out.

You know, we had been together over a year,

and your daughter didn't know I existed.

I explained why I kept it from her.

You made excuses, Dennis,

that still don't hold water for me.

- Sharon... - You know...

you asked me to let you into my life,

and I did, because I believed in us.

But you didn't give me the same respect.

And that hurt me deeply.

I made a mistake, which I apologized for.

You're choosing to hold onto this.

Well, what would that say

about me if I did let it stand?

What would that say about our relationship?

Now...

I think it's time we went our separate ways.

Sharon, can I be honest with you?

Please.

You went through a traumatic experience a few months ago.

We almost lost you.

And I don't think you ever fully dealt with that.

Uh... it's not about emotions, Dennis.

It's about respect.

And I accept your letter of resignation.

Hey, when you see my husband,

can you tell him where I am and what's happening?

'Cause he has no clue Noah's getting the lungs.

You still haven't gotten ahold of him?

I tried calling him, but he forgot his phone.

Yeah, go. I'll let him know.

How you feeling, honey?

I mean, it hurts when I breathe,

but other than that, better.

Oh, good. Good.

Um...

sweetie, I've been thinking about what you said, and, um...

I'm a shrink.

You know, and it seems that as hard as I try

to not let that bleed into my parenting skills

or lack thereof, I have failed.

Dad, you don't have to try to...

You know, honey, I actually do.

I overreacted in a really inappropriate way earlier,

and I'm sorry.

Sincerely, honey, I apologize.

It's just that, you know, we've got this history

of depression in our family,

and you seem to be in a dark place, and...

Dad, I'm not depressed.

Do you mind... do you mind just hearing me out for a bit?

So, you know, when I was a kid,

my dad seemed to be in a dark place a lot, right?

We didn't use the word "depression" in my family.

It was always like, oh, Dad's a little blue.

You know, Dad's just really, really tired.

I know the story already.

Yeah, but you don't know all of it,

and I promised myself I'd tell you as soon as

you got a little older, and I just...

well, anyway, I loved my dad, right?

And I was pretty sure that he was depressed, right?

So I just read any book I could get my hands on

that might teach me how to... I don't know... help him.

Yeah, and that was your first step toward becoming a shrink.

And then, one weekend, um,

I came home from college.

It was a Saturday morning, and I slept late.

And I guess Mom had already left the house,

and so I went down, and I...

I made myself some breakfast.

And that's when...

that's when I smelled the, uh, the fumes.

The, uh, garage was right off the kitchen,

and I opened up the door, and then all the...

All the smoke just started to billow out.

And, um...

you know, Dad had rolled up all the windows

and used a garden hose and some duct tape,

piped the exhaust in through the driver's-side window,

and been dead for hours, honey.

And my entire life, I just have regretted

not being more proactive about reaching out,

saying, Dad, you know, what's going on?

You know?

I regret so much that I succumbed to this ridiculous,

you know, "we don't talk about that kind of thing" taboo BS

that was rampant in my household.

You know, if only I'd have known

how much pain he was in, how alone he was,

how much shame he was made to feel for something

that wasn't his fault.

Dad, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know what was happening to me, and I...

I thought I could just hold on a little longer

and maybe it would all go away.

And it didn't, and I felt like such a freak.

And I thought about calling you.

I did. But I was so embarrassed.

And I know that Stanford isn't cheap,

and I didn't wanna disappoint you,

and at Granny's funeral, I could see that I had.

Honey, honey, honey, look at me.

Look at me.

You are incapable of disappointing me.

I didn't know what else to do, Dad.

When I got in my car this morning,

it just seemed like the only option.

It has for a while now.

You have any idea how proud I am of you

- for saying that out loud? - I'm sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry about, honey.

Look, we're gonna figure this out.

I do need you, Dad.

And I will always be here to talk to you

about whatever you wanna talk about.

But how about this?

Let's say if ever we start

to stray into this area,

I promise you from the bottom of my heart,

all I'm gonna do is listen.

Okay?

Okay.

Oh.

It'll be okay.

Where is he? Where's my son?

No. No.

Thank you. In six or seven hours.

Lancer!

You selfish son of a bitch!

Take a step back.

Hey!

I think you need to walk away.

Look at me! Admit what you did!

Admit that you killed my son!

- Gun! - Got the gun!

Get the hell away from me!

Dad? What's happening?

Everything's gonna be fine, sweetie.

You need to calm down.

I... I didn't want this, any of this.

You're clearly not up to speed.

What... what are you talking about?

My daughter gave those lungs to your son.

He's up in surgery right now.

No, you're just saying whatever you need to

to get me to put the gun down.

He's telling the truth, Walter.

All right, Noah's alive,

and the surgery is going really well.

Just put the gun down.

All right, let me take you upstairs to join your wife.

Stop lying to me.

My son is gone,

and I don't know how I'm gonna live without him.

Walter, I would never lie to you.

Whoa, whoa. Hey, whoa, whoa.

Easy, okay, Walter? Come on.

You don't understand.

Noah needed lungs, and we were told to get in line,

so we did, because that's the system.

And it's supposed to be fair, right?

So we waited years while Noah wasted away,

praying for a miracle.

And then one day, we got the call.

We got the miracle.

Until you cut the line.

I was protecting my child, same as you.

We're not the same.

I tried to protect my son, but I don't have the money

and the power like you do.

Walter, listen to me, okay?

Noah is alive.

That's why he's gone and my daughter is still here.

Walter.

Noah still needs you to fight for him.

And that's what I admire about you.

Not every parent would fight for their child

the way that you do.

And this transplant?

All right, it means that Noah has more years ahead of him

than he's already lived.

I don't want you to miss any of that.

So come on.

All right? Please, put the gun down.

Hey, Mister?

If I don't get the chance,

tell Noah to use those lungs as much as he can.

I'll tell him, sweetie, I promise.

Thank you.

Hi. You might not remember me,

but we met when I got stuck in a well,

and you cut off my leg.

Nope.

Sorry, not, uh, not ringing any bells.

Uh, picture me with more dirt on my face.

Oh, Sadie.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hey.

We need to talk.

You know, there's something Maya Angelou once said

that kept ringing in my ear.

"When someone shows you who they are,

believe it the first time."

I didn't wanna believe what I felt, but...

Who am I to question Maya?

So today,

I chose to believe what I already knew to be true.

I'm finding forgiveness harder

as I get older.

It's just too easy.

And yet I feel...

I feel hopeful.

Um, I did almost die.

And yet, here I am, alive.

Mm, don't cry.

You're so pretty.

What's your name?

Sharon.

You're tired, aren't you?

I... could...

I don't... yeah.

It's okay, Bert.

Yeah.

It's okay.

We can just sit.

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