Original subtitles

Trust me, friend.

I, Boldini, will be your guardian angel.

What I know, and who I know

can be of great help to you, my friend.

But a man has to live.

I get your meaning, Boldini.

Good. We understand each other. Come.

Take this one. You won't be too drafty.

There's not much fear of that in here.

Did you find out anything?

Your friends aren't in Marseille. I have made inquiries.

Yesterday, two Englishmen sailed for Oran.

From there they go to Sidi-bel-Abbes.

Is that where we'll go?

There, or Saida.

Have we any say about which?

10 francs would have a say.

I have a friend in the office.

He can arrange that we go to Sidi-bel-Abbes?

No, if we're on the list for Saida he will correct the mistake.

It's quite safe.

You're right. You are a help.

We will be the bon gang, eh?

Monsieur does not like the atmosphere of our little nest?

No, I don't.

Maybe you don't like the look of me, either.

No, not much.

What are you going to do about it?

So you want that window open.

Very intelligent of you.

Suppose I want it shut. Suppose I don't.

Suppose we all want it shut.

Oh, well, then there is the end of the matter.

If the majority prefer to poison themselves,

they have a perfect right to do so.

Huh!

Come here and shut up, Schwartz, and leave it.

A little bit of air won't kill you.

(inaudible) English.

Would you like the ceiling raised any?

No, it will do.

You Britishers, you think you own the earth.

I say, who's this low, foreign fellow? Doesn't know him, do I?

What say you, chaps? Let's throw open all the windows!

Britishers.

You're American.

How'd you guess? What else?

Stars and Stripes Forever.

I come from God's own country and I guess it licks creation.

It's all the uneasy self-assertion of your countrymen.

Did you hear that, Hank? He's insulting our poor country.

Says we suffer from "uneasy self-assertion."

Well, I ain't inserted nothing here for real long time.

My innards are uneasy.

I could insert a whole hog with nary a burden.

You don't mean that, Hank.

Can't tell, can we? We don't talk American.

Now don't you go rilin' him, Hank. He don't like it and he don't like us.

He ain't been himself lately.

He ain't eaten nothing for three days.

Are you serious?

Nary a mouthful. It's tragical. He's a growing boy.

Perhaps, you gentlemen, would like to lunch with me?

Did you hear that, Hank?

He's calling us gentlemen.

He don't mean nothing by it though. He's just talking English actually,

you listen well and improve your mind.

Look, I got some dough.

Maybe you two hobos ain't too proud to eat with a...

a dog-ghastly Britisher.

Put her right there, son.

My name is Buddy and this poor old boy's name is Hank.

John Smith.

Where can we get you some food?

Well, I reckon there ought to be at a canteen even in this country.

Hey, chuck wagon is here.

Hey, that looks OK.

Now this is what I joined the Legion for.

That's yours, kid.

I don't want two, I'm not hungry.

I got this for you and… Buddy.

He ain't bad for Britisher, Hank.

That he ain't, Buddy, that he ain't.

Smith.

(inaudible) Schwartz.

Yes, join the party, Schwartz.

Thank you, John.

What'd I tell you, a damn fine gentleman, eh?

Excuse me.

All friends here.

The kid's making friends fast. It's good wine.

You sure are popular, son.

I'd seem to, only three ha'pence a bottle.

I don't suppose they allow no hard intoxicating liquors like

rye whisky, in these foreign canteens, eh?

They don't appear to.

Naw, we're gonna drink this here red juice and be thankful.

Get used to it with all the other cruel deprivations and hardships.

Boldini.

I've seen to our little the matter of business,

we sail for Oran tomorrow.

All of us? Yes, sir.

All the recruits who came today go to Oran tomorrow.

When do we eat? That's what I want to know.

Can't we go out somewhere and get some eats and a real drink?

Next meal tomorrow morning, soup, bread and coffee.

And you will not be allowed to leave here for any reason

until you're marched down to the boat for Oran.

What? I'll be a living skeleton by then.

C'est la Legion!

Boldini has already served five years. He's realistic.

Speaks well for the Legion.

Yes, or ill for the chance of ex-legionnaire to earn a crust of bread.

Yeah, you don't get that here either.

Been up against it, eh?

Huh!

Starved.

Tramped my feet off.

Slept in the mud.

Begged myself hoarse for work.

Driven at last to choose between jail and the Legion.

I chose the Legion for some reason.

Better the devils you know than flee (to) the devils you don't.

Better give the guy another drink, he seems depressed.

Share and share alike, eh?

Friend. Mein Freund.

It's quite a night, Americans.

Anybody'd think the poor boobs had been drinking.

Yeah, they got to make out this here stuff's whiskey.

It's the only way they can keep their spirits up.

Son, have you got any money left?

Oh, yes, certainly. You're most welcome...

When you go to bed tonight,

you take your money and stick it inside your pillow and tie the end of it.

Well, or you can stick it down inside your vest and lie on it.

That's hardly necessary, surely.

It looks unkind and suspicious.

Oh, please yourself, of course.

If you want Mister Cascara Sagrada to get his hands on it.

He's a bad'un, son.

Crookeder than a snake with the bellyache.

Meaner'n a bull with a brain full of ticks.

Nonsense, he's been very helpful.

I guess I just got an evil mind.

You're a trifle eccentric, that's all.

Levez-vous. Levez-vous. Out you get.

On your feet.

Come on, get moving.

(in French)

Get out of bed!

Get out!

Get awake.

Something wrong, kid?

My money's gone. I warned you.

You wouldn't listen to me, you was all trusting.

Good thing for you, I wasn't.

I thought I better mind it last night when I saw you was out like a light.

Sure enough about 2 AM in the morning along comes Mr. Boldini

to see how your money's getting on.

"It's alright, fella," I says. "I'm minding it for him."

And Mr. Boldini says,

"Oh, I thought maybe somebody thought the wrong thing."

"So did I," I says.

"And I was right, too."

And then he turned around a little,

tucked his tail between his legs, and crept on back to his hole.

Buongiorno, all is good?

You think he meant to rob me?

There ain't nothing surer than that, son.

He did volunteer to be my guide and mentor.

Guide and what?

He said he would look after my interests,

Keep me right.

Listen, kid, he's a low-born thief. I've seen his kind before.

You've got something that he wants and he means to have it.

Maybe we're being a bit unfair on him.

Quiet.

Listen.

Quiet!

At 12 o'clock,

you go on board the steam packet, General Negrier.

Destination: Oran.

Parade in the square at 11:30.

And don't be late.

Hey, Corp.,

We get fed before we go?

We shall eat like kings, my friend. Yeah. When?

Do not buy any of this rubbish.

Within the month you will need every coin you possess to buy oblivion.

And remember this,

resist the decrees of heaven if you will,

but never those of your corporal!

...and beware of the local wine,

the blessing and the curse of the Legion.

I have just drunk two bottles.

And beware of women,

the blessing and the curse of our men.

I have married three of them.

But above all,

beware of the absinthe.

It is the most fiendish poison.

I should know what I am talking about.

I was brought up on the stuff.

All right, mes enfants, this where you will be sleeping,

Allez soldats.

Home, sweet home.

Enter the third robber! John!

You unutterable young fool!

Oof!

Go on, boy! Go and get him!

Mad English.

They fight when civilised people embrace.

Tear their ears off.

Pax!

Beau and Dig,

let me introduce two dyed-in-the-wool white men from God's own country.

Hank and Buddy, my brothers,

Michael and Digby. How do you do?

Just fine! How are you, boy?

Howdy. Hi.

Hey, now! Americans, possibly?

Yes.

Mr. Francesco Boldini, my brothers,

Michael and Digby.

Hello.

I think wine is indicated, gentlemen.

If you'll allow me to show you the way, I know the canteen here.

Pay attention! Stand on your beds.

Command, obey.

Face to your front.

My name is Lejaune, Sergeant-Major Lejaune.

I am in command here.

And don't you forget it,

you miserable sweepings of the gutters of Europe.

So, we have a dog who laughs.

You will not be laughing one week from now.

I have a way of curing that affliction.

Corporal Dupre, how tall must a man be before he is accepted for the Legion?

I don't know, Chef.

In fact, he must be tall enough otherwise they wouldn't have taken him.

We have an undersized cur.

I guess I seen better things on sticky flypaper.

Open your mouth once more, I will close it with my boot.

You are a lazy pig, I wager.

But I will teach you to move, and quickly.

Sure, Bo, spill another mouthful.

You speak again, I kick your teeth down your throat.

So, English gentlemen.

I don't like gentlemen. Show me your hands, up.

You have never done a day's work in your life.

I will harden those hands for you.

I shall manicure you before you die.

I am going to turn you scum into soldiers,

even if I have to kill you in the process.

Meanwhile, the Seventh Company will be afflicted by you.

Recruits will move to the left in file.

Left turn.

Get them kitted out.

Again.

And again.

That's better.

What are you doing here, you mad young pup?

I'm fleeing from justice, Beau. What about you?

Same thing.

And you, Dig?

Well, I personally am fleeing from justice, yes.

Three fleas.

Did you bring the Blue Water, John?

No, I didn't.

Very careless.

Did you bring it, Beau.

Yes, of course.

Did you bring it too, Dig? Oh, I never travel without it.

I suppose one of you has it.

Oh yes, it's here all right.

Wouldn't be worth our being here if it wasn't.

What do you intend to do with it?

Lie low for five years, then sell it.

It should fetch about 30,000.

I'll invest the money and live off the income.

Doing what? Sport, hunting, travel,

big game shooting, rooms in town, clubs,

live like Uncle Hector.

On Uncle Hector's money? Doubles the joy of it, what?

I'm going to invest the money in a South Sea Island foundation,

do some trading,

buy the finest schooner on the island, be my own supercargo.

Spend the day lazing on the beach when the beautiful native girls aren't chasing me.

And what are you going to do with the Blue Water in the meantime?

Carry it around with me always.

If I get my eye knocked out I'll wear it in the empty socket...

Blue-eyed boy.

Good idea, that.

Or you might put it where the monkey put the nuts--develop a pouch in your cheek.

Shouldn't be difficult for you.

They're both rotten ideas.

Look to the kangaroo for the answer. Kangaroos?

They carry their valuables in a bag in front,

accessible, and that's what I do.

Leather patch in a money belt.

I thought it all up beforehand.

You've got to kill the man before you can rob him.

Oh, buona sera.

Didn't hear you come up, Boldini.

The sun is setting like a fiery jewel.

Don't let us keep you, Boldini.

Oh, come, come, mon ami, let us not be superior.

We should stick together.

Sorry, old chap. I haven't the faintest idea what you're driving at.

Monsieur Smith knows how useful I can be.

You should include me in your plans.

I have much experience in the safe disposal of valuable properties.

Think about it.

Buona sera.

He thinks we're of gang of international crooks.

He was doing a lot of hinting.

You didn't tell him anything?

I'm not that daft, Beau.

Of course, he doesn't know. He's just guessing.

Hut, two, three, four! Keep moving, you dogs!

First squad, halt!

Keep them moving, Corporal Dupre. You heard me.

First squad, double march!

First squad halt!

Boldini, get that pig off the square. Yes, Chef.

Lucky Boldini.

We call this, a breakfast of the Legion.

Now, double march. Move!

Lift your feet up!

That's very good, Brown.

I think you have a bull's-eye.

Squeeze that trigger, don't pull it.

(inaudible chatter)

(inaudible)

Pull that man over.

Brown, here. On the double.

Cease firing!

Good shooting. Well done.

Thank you, sir.

Back to your place.

A born soldier, that one, Chef.

Keep an eye on him.

Don't worry. I will.

Is that for Isobel, John?

Yes, I wrote it last night.

Well don't worry, I didn't mention you two.

Brandon Abbas seems a long time ago.

The ever-fond Patricia finally calling the police.

Anyway, at least we're safe here.

Safe, are we?

Legion, attention.

Take his name.

Fourteen days confined to barracks for having drink in the caserne.

When does your informer get? A weeks leave?

21 days, with field punishment.

Defaulters parade tonight, full pack.

Disgusting, seven days, confined to barracks.

Dismissed.

There was nothing wrong with his kit, I saw it.

He's right. Perfect. Why did he do it?

Because he is crazy.

It's not fair, Beau. I wonder you didn't sock him one.

Don't you see, Dig, that's just what he wants.

He's out to get me.