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1
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# After you've gone
2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,520
# And left me crying
3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,800
# After you've gone
4
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,560
# There's no denying
5
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,760
# Some day, when you grow lonely
6
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:19,040
# Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only
7
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,040
# After you've gone
8
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# After you've gone away. #
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DOORBELL RINGS
10
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Thanks.
11
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,840
Diana? Morning, Jimmy.
What are you doing?
12
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,400
Working as a postwoman.
Yeah, I can see that.
13
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,240
Well, then, that's what I'm doing.
Wait a minute.
14
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,200
Are you interfering with the delivery
of Her Majesty's mail? Diana!
15
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,600
Oi, postie, you dropped these!
16
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,560
Every day!
17
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,560
You should see her, Molly,
we make such a great couple.
18
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,360
Everyone stares at us.
19
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,280
Her name's Chelsea.
20
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,760
Like the pensioners or the buns?
21
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,560
No, like the posh bit of London.
22
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,920
Guess who just delivered our post?
23
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,920
BOTH: Gran. No, Gran!
24
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,280
Oh, you know.
Didn't anyone think to tell me?
25
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,080
It's not a big deal, not like she's
transformed into a giant robot.
26
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,720
Wow, that would be amazing!
Dad, feet.
27
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,320
OK, Molly, what are you
trying to put off doing?
28
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:45,840
She's got to revise
for a chemistry exam.
Well, go on, then. Get on with it.
29
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:50,120
I can't! I've got all this sweeping
to do. Molly, I do not approve.
30
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,360
But you've missed a bit under there.
31
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,680
A-ha! Ah, The Safe Workplace.
32
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,720
Ow!
33
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,920
Kev, I've just gotta show you
what's in these... Kev?
34
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,880
Two seconds, boss,
just doing some arm curls.
35
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,400
I thought you'd joined a gym.
Yeah, but I can't go in all flabby.
36
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,240
Flabby?! Look at you.
37
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,560
There's flabbier pipe cleaners!
38
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,600
Are you wearing scent, boss?
39
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,440
Erm... Well, yeah, aftershave.
40
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,720
And what's with the formal overalls?
41
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,760
Going to the theatre after work?
42
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,600
No, I just like to
make an effort, that's all.
43
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,840
Quantity Surveyor been in yet?
44
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,360
Oh, I see - lovely Lisa the Quantity
Surveyor. Gonna ask her out, then?
45
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:50,320
Oh, I'd like to but I'm so rusty. I
haven't asked a woman out in years.
46
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,720
Now's your chance.
What, you think so?
47
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,360
No, who am I kidding?
48
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,000
She wouldn't look twice at me.
She already has, more than twice.
49
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,600
I've seen her, boss.
Go on, take the plunge.
50
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,040
Trust me, I'm a master plunger.
51
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,720
When I need to unblock a sink,
you'll be the first person I call.
52
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,280
Now, listen, we've got goggles
53
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,280
and gloves in that one, extinguisher
54
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,280
and fire blanket in that one
and the hard hats are in there.
55
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,480
Right you are.
What's all that for, then? Safety.
56
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,480
Lisa says we have to comply.
57
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,760
I see. If Lisa said
jump off a roof, would you?
58
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,680
Wearing the correct harness, yes.
59
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,080
Lisa, what brings you round?
We have an appointment.
60
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,880
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, haven't forgotten.
61
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,280
Yeah, that is still wet, Kev,
as I predicted.
62
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,120
You what?
Got in all the safety equipment now?
63
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,760
Er, yes, we have. We've got goggles,
gloves and hard hats. Fantastic!
64
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,520
Anything else we need to discuss?
65
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,560
Erm... Plunge!
66
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,160
Did he just say "plunge"?
67
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,480
Yeah.
Well, the thing is, Lisa, it's...
68
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,200
erm... Well, basically...
69
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,440
Would you like to go out with me
sometime? Yeah, sure. Why not?
70
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,360
Well, I can think of
a thousand reasons... Bb-bb-bb!
71
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,440
..Why that would be great!
72
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,040
So I'll get back to you
and we'll fix something up.
73
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,000
Yeah, you do that, Jimmy.
74
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,520
See? Easy, wasn't it? Wow!
75
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,400
That's never happened to me before.
76
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:23,520
I must be your lucky charm -
your Jiminy Cricket, your albatross.
77
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,520
I'm so sorry, are you all right?
78
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,440
Yeah, fine. Are you sure?
79
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,160
Yeah, 'course. No worries, boss.
I'm made of rubber me, Elastiboy!
80
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,200
Well, better late than never.
81
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,080
Ah, if it isn't Postman Pat!
82
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,440
Where's your black and white cat,
eh?
83
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:52,200
HE WHISTLES "Postman Pat" THEME
84
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,400
Put a sock in it, Jimmy.
85
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,760
Are you planning to tell me
what's going on?
86
00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,880
All right, I've given up my teaching
job - that's all there is to it.
87
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,320
I prefer the life of a postwoman.
88
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,320
Really?!
89
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:08,360
Well, it's outdoors, it's healthy
and it's...outdoors.
90
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:14,280
Diana? I've outgrown that
fusty old school after 30 years...
91
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,560
the best years of my life,
that ungrateful pig of a headmaster.
92
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,600
Ah, you've been sacked!
93
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,160
Well, I prefer to say I've taken
early voluntary redundancy.
94
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,880
Well, I prefer to say I'm Brad Pitt.
95
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,160
So what did you do wrong?
96
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,880
It seems I had another birthday.
97
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,960
Well, if you will keep doing that!
98
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,760
But I won't be defeated.
99
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:43,360
I've applied for other teaching work
and in the meantime, I'm learning
so much about the neighbours.
100
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:48,000
Number 65's had a summons, you know,
and 43 get nothing but red bills,
101
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,440
and number 72's house
may be on the market soon -
102
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:57,840
he's just had his results from
the Well Man clinic and the envelope
felt far too heavy for an all clear.
103
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,680
CLATTERING
104
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,360
She's got an exam.
105
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,120
I know. Molly, stop cleaning the oven
106
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,120
and get back to your studying.
107
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,560
Yeah, come on. Look, you've got
a revision timetable, stick to it.
All right!
108
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,920
Oh, look!
I'm scheduled to start a break!
109
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,760
Hi! Everyone, I'd like you
to meet my new girlfriend.
110
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:23,920
Hi!
111
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,280
Hello. Hi. Hello.
112
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,760
This is Chelsea.
113
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,040
Ah, like the flower show.
114
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,920
Yeah, like the football team.
115
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,760
I'll see you out.
She's got to go to practice.
116
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,440
Basketball?
117
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,960
No, piano.
118
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,240
Bye, guys. Bye!
119
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,240
That has got to be one big piano!
120
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,800
Molly! That's not nice.
121
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,440
No. No, your Gran is right.
But she is really tall. Jimmy!
122
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,560
I know.
I wonder what she sees in him.
123
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,080
Top of his head?
124
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,920
Come on, you two. I know it's Alex,
but he has got feelings.
125
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,520
Well, what do you think
of my special lady?
126
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,560
Yeah, she's... She's...
127
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,680
Yeah!
128
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,120
How did you two get together?
129
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,640
In a cafe. Our eyes just met.
130
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,160
Your eyes met?!
131
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,560
I walked in,
and she was just sitting there.
132
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,080
ALL: Aah!
133
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,360
What do you mean, "Aah?"
134
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,640
We mean, "Aah, how sweet, a cafe."
135
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:44,040
Yeah. You know, since I've been
going out with Chelsea,
136
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,000
I've felt ten feet tall.
137
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,440
Mmm, you're wearing deodorant, Jimmy.
138
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,440
What's the occasion?
139
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,360
Well, if you must know,
there's a new woman in my life.
140
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,120
Oh, wonderful!
141
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,240
You've finally got a social worker.
142
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,480
No, I'm dating Lisa from work.
143
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,720
Oh, so you're over Siobhan, then?
144
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,800
Siobhan who? Huh!
145
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,920
See, that's how over her I am.
146
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,040
Of course you are, Jimmy.
147
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,840
I wonder
how she'll take the Lisa news.
148
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,880
Quite well,
considering she dumped you.
149
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,200
You're not going to tell her,
are you?
150
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,960
Oh, no, no, no. No, I wouldn't want
to make her jealous.
151
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:28,720
But I think its only fair that I
let you know. I mean, you're bound
152
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:28,720
to find out sooner or later.
153
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,560
I'm dating again.
154
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,560
SHOUT OF LAUGHTER
155
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,640
Meaning?
156
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,960
Meaning I'll believe it
when I see it. It's true!
157
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,720
I'm going out with someone.
158
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,760
Oh, sure. All right, Jimmy.
159
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,600
Go on, admit it, she doesn't exist,
you made her up!
160
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,640
I have not! Her name is Lisa.
161
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,320
Good a name as any
for a fictional girlfriend.
162
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:55,800
No, because if I did have
a fictional girlfriend, I'd call
163
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:55,800
her Honeydew Goodbody, not Lisa!
164
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:59,640
The very fact that she is called
Lisa proves that she exists.
165
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,640
All right, OK, how many dates
have you been on, then?
166
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:08,400
You're my ex-girlfriend,
I don't have to tell you anything.
167
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,520
All right, boss?
Why don't you ask Kev?
168
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,120
Well, I would,
if I gave a tuppenny toss.
169
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,800
Kev, what's happened?
170
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,800
Workplace injury. Eh?
171
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,560
You dropped a box
on my head, remember?
Well, yeah, but you were fine.
172
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,400
I thought I was.
That's the thing about concussion.
173
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:30,800
What my client is trying to say
is that he has post traumatic
stress disorder with whiplash.
174
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,160
Your client? Yeah.
175
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,640
That's right, boss, I'm suing you
for my workplace injury. What?!
176
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,320
Yeah, Bobby's representing me.
177
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,720
He said I've got a good case and
he's got two thirds of a law degree.
178
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,160
I failed the legal ethics paper.
179
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,680
Just the kind of lawyer I want.
180
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,600
Oh, come off it, Kev.
181
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,400
You're kidding around, right?
182
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,560
If only, Jimmy.
It's nothing personal.
183
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:56,160
I don't know how you can do this!
I thought we were friends.
184
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,720
And so did my client
on that fateful morning.
185
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,560
Oh, shut up, Bobby!
186
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,560
Money-grabbing ambulance chaser.
187
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:06,040
Ah, so you admit there was
an ambulance! I admit nothing.
188
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,120
Don't worry, Kev, we'll take the
189
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,120
uncaring monster to the cleaners.
190
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,520
We'll wring every last penny
out of him, bleed him dry.
191
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,160
You negligent slipshod slave driver!
192
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,640
So, Jimmy, what can I get you?
193
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,560
Morning, Gran! Morning!
Can I have some coffee? Of course.
194
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,120
Thank you.
195
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:33,920
Molly, you'll never sleep again!
196
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,560
Exactly, that's the plan.
197
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,680
I'm revising all night for the exam
tomorrow so I'm starting early
on the coffee,
198
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,280
fizzy drinks after lunch, then I'll
give it a Red Bull kick about nine.
199
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,120
Or you could revise all day
and then you wouldn't
have to stay up all night.
200
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:51,960
Gran, maybe in your day the way to
pass an exam was to give yourself
201
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:51,960
plenty of time, let it sink in
202
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,840
and get some sleep, but this is the
21st century, things have moved on.
203
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,800
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going bowling.
204
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,760
Hi, Moll!
205
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,680
Oh, morning, postie.
206
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:10,480
Shouldn't you still be nosing
through the neighbour's mail
207
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:10,480
and terrorising their poodles?
208
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,760
I've finished my round
in record time, if you must know.
209
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:19,280
Here you are, one bank statement and
three credit card bills. Oh, great(!)
210
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,240
Oh, that's all I need. Oh?
211
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,240
Kev is suing me for injuries
sustained in the workplace.
212
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,920
All I did was
drop a box on his head.
213
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:33,080
Is he hurt? No. Well,
it's not like he's brain damaged.
214
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,840
He was like that when I found him.
215
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,280
I thought things
were going too well. I've got
that date with Lisa from work...
216
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,400
Did you drop a box on her head, too?
217
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,640
Why does no-one believe
I can get a woman?
218
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,640
Siobhan doesn't even believe that
Lisa exists. Does she exist? Yes!
219
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,560
Well, stop worrying about Siobhan.
220
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,520
Focus on Lisa, make her feel special.
221
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,400
Take her to that French place.
222
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,920
What, France?
223
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,320
No, the new bistro. Chez Jean Luc.
224
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,480
Hey, good idea, focus on Lisa.
225
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,080
That should really rub
Siobhan's nose in it.
226
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,280
Hi, Jimmy. Oh, Lisa, hi.
227
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,920
Hold on a minute.
228
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,480
Take a seat.
229
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,200
Oh, that's what I like about you,
Jimmy, you're really thoughtful.
230
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,320
Most guys on building sites
are just wolf-whistling jerks.
231
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,800
Oh, well, I'd never whistle at you,
well, unless you wanted me to...
232
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,200
You're certainly worth whistling at.
233
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,560
I'm gonna whistle at you now...
look at that! You're funny.
234
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:43,000
That's a relief. Well, I can't stay,
I was just passing and wanted to see
if we're still on for that date.
235
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,720
Oh, yeah. Yeah, OK.
236
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,400
How about Friday?
237
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,200
I know a little French place.
238
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,320
Ooh la la! Sounds good.
239
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,640
I'll ring you later. OK. Brilliant.
240
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,400
Yeah, brilliant.
241
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,760
Bye!
242
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,480
Jimmy.
243
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,600
Kev, you're back.
244
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,400
I knew you'd see sense. Eh?
245
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,840
Come on, take off that stupid neck
brace and let's get plastering.
246
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,800
I can't, boss, I'm injured - from a
workplace injury. Oh, not that again.
247
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,920
I've just come to collect my wages.
248
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,560
You...?! I'm not paying you a penny.
249
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,400
Did you get that, Bobby?
250
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,160
Yep, every word.
251
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,640
Now show me where it happened.
252
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,320
What the hell is going on?
253
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,560
Scene of the crime reconstruction.
There wasn't a crime!
254
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,840
We'll let the judge decide that.
255
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,200
It was here,
in this innocent-looking room.
256
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,880
I had no idea of the terror
that was about to unfold...
257
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,400
On that fateful day.
On that fateful day.
258
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,440
I had my whole life ahead of me.
I'd even joined a gym.
259
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,640
And then I went to work...
260
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,840
I'll put some music on that later.
261
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,880
Right, Kev, let's have some tears.
262
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,840
Just give me a moment.
263
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,640
Would you mind doing this somewhere
else? Don't hit my client!
264
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,400
I didn't hit him!
You will in the edit.
265
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,720
Oh, yeah? Well, edit this.
266
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,920
Hi, Molly. No time,
I've left it really late to revise!
267
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,400
Why didn't anyone tell me?! We did!
268
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,320
Evening, Jimmy, how are you?
269
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:32,240
Knackered. I'm now doing the work of
two men - well, one man and a snake.
270
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,880
Which one are you?
271
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,360
Job-hunting again? Yes.
272
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,920
Because I've been fired and you're
about to be sued - one of us
has got to earn some money.
273
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,200
You are earning, you're a postwoman.
274
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:50,560
Well, I was but I've decided to take
early voluntary redundancy...again.
275
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,000
Don't say it, Jimmy.
276
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,680
You're a postwoman
and you've been given the sack.
277
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,400
You've been returned to sender.
278
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,000
If you must know,
I was too efficient.
279
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,560
I was making the other
postal workers look lazy.
280
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:12,680
Well, I'm short staffed,
what you like with a hod?
281
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,680
I'd rather eat my own foot.
282
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,600
Oh, yeah? I know what happens
to people who work for you.
283
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,720
I told you, Kev is faking it.
284
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,640
Don't you worry,
I've got a plan to outwit him.
285
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,640
That's not exactly
mission impossible, Jimmy.
286
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,880
Hi. Hello. Oh, hi!
287
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,720
You off somewhere nice?
Yes, the Minnesota Grill.
288
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,600
Oh, what's it like nowadays?
Crowded, noisy, big portions.
289
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,800
Like the hat. Thanks.
290
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,640
What hat?
291
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,080
It's from Camden Market, would you
like to try it on? Yeah, OK.
292
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,840
It suits you. Thanks.
293
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,680
Can I try it on?
294
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,600
I hear you play the piano.
295
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,600
Yes, grade five.
Very impressive. Thank you.
296
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,640
Anyway, we'd better be off.
297
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,600
Look at the time.
298
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,200
Bye.
299
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,520
Bye. Well, don't be long...late!
300
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,560
No, no, no, that's fine, Lisa...
301
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,960
No, lunchtime's just as good for me.
Lisa.
302
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,840
OK, yeah, well,
I'll see you about 12...
303
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,480
Lisa. Bye.
304
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,440
I used to have
an imaginary friend once.
305
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,000
I was three.
306
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,960
His name was Nigel Montevideo.
307
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,080
He was a giraffe.
308
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,320
Siobhan, I do not have
an imaginary friend. Prove it.
309
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,520
I don't have to prove anything
to you any more. Ooh, I know!
310
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,840
I'll call Nigel up
on my invisible phone,
311
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,960
we could go on a double date!
312
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,640
Kev, nice to see you.
313
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:04,720
Is it? You all right? Fine.
Oh, you're fine, are you?
314
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,880
Yeah, apart from my workplace injury.
315
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,640
Oh, yes, yes, yes, that
must be a nightmare.
316
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,760
Look, Kev, a stripogram!
317
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,840
I'd love to look, Jimmy, but I can't,
due to my workplace injury.
318
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,200
I feel like a game of pool.
319
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,160
Fancy one, Kev? Yes.
320
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:30,120
Oh, do you? Yes, I do fancy it, but
321
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:30,120
sadly, my pool playing days are over,
322
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:33,480
due to my workplace injury.
See, watertight.
323
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,920
Are you by any chance
trying to entrap my client?
324
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,720
Oh, says his bent lawyer!
325
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,200
Too right I am. I'll have you know
he's suffering from stress.
326
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:48,000
So am I! I don't have time
for this nonsense, Bobby!
327
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:48,000
You know Diana's lost her job?
328
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,760
Diana?
329
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,040
Oh, she won't be out
of a job for long.
330
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,840
She could always get telephone work
with a voice like that, liquid gold.
331
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,040
Diana in a call centre?!
332
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:02,400
I was thinking of something more...
personal and intimate.
333
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,280
Those schoolmistressy tones,
334
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,000
so stern yet so comforting.
335
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,600
She's not that desperate.
336
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,680
No, but I am.
337
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,480
Yes,
it's about the curtains I ordered.
338
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,240
You want me to describe them?
339
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:26,680
Well, they're white,
lacy and transparent.
340
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,120
Well, semi-transparent really.
341
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:37,920
Well, virtually see-through, but not
quite, with frills around the edges.
342
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:46,320
Well, they're high
and sort of curve round.
343
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,200
I may need you to come
and adjust them for me.
344
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,320
Jimmy! Diana, how could you?!
345
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,120
I know it's naughty of me...
346
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,320
Naughty, it's degrading!
Have you no pride left?
347
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,480
What's pride got to do with it?
348
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,480
Are you really that desperate?
349
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,800
Yes, I am! I really want
those curtains for my bedroom.
350
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,320
You were ordering curtains? Yes.
351
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,360
Not describing your underwear
to strangers for money?
352
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,840
Jimmy, how dare you? Who do you think
I am? I'll take that as a no, then.
353
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,400
Definitely.
354
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,680
How much do you think
those women make?
355
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,840
Are you sure you don't want me
to walk you home, for protection?
356
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,120
You're so sweet.
357
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,520
Give me a kiss, big boy.
358
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,320
What a woman.
359
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,160
So did you get any sleep at all?
360
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,960
None, but I revised brilliantly.
361
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,720
Come on, Alex, more questions!
Go easy, will you?
362
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,200
I've got a crick in my neck.
I can't think why.
363
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,400
Alex! OK, OK, OK.
364
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,720
The test for C02.
Turns lime water milky.
365
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,440
The formula for ammonia. NH3.
366
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,400
The test for hydrogen.
Squeaky pot with a glowing splint.
367
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,840
A cure for neck ache?
That's biology. Good luck, Molly.
368
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,360
Oh, yeah, good luck. Bye bye.
369
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:15,280
Morning, Jimmy. I'm off, I've got
some part time work at my old school.
370
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,920
What, are you teaching again?
371
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,040
Not exactly,
more child guidance work.
372
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,800
Ooh, you look all dressed up.
You in court already?
373
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,920
No, I'm taking Lisa to lunch.
374
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,680
Oh, at Chez Jean Luc.
I'm glad you took my advice.
375
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:33,800
Er, actually, I'm taking her
somewhere else, somewhere a little
more relaxed and comfortable.
376
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,880
It's that pub, isn't it?
377
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:43,640
Oh, this is nice, but what happened
to the little French place?
378
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,840
Er, closed -
Gerard Depardieu's birthday.
379
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,360
Er, Siobhan...
380
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,480
Bar maid!
381
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,640
Huh, I was beginning to think
the service in here was imaginary.
382
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:02,200
Siobhan, this is Lisa,
Lisa, the barmaid. Hello. Hello.
383
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,560
I'll have a coke, please, and Lisa
will have a... A gin and tonic.
384
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,520
Gin and tonic for Lisa.
385
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,880
Lisa's a quantity surveyor.
386
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,760
Quantity rather than quality,
obviously.
387
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,200
Want to pinch her see if she's real?
Ow!
388
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,080
Why don't I go and get us a table?
389
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,840
So who's the idiot now?
390
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,800
Still you.
391
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,160
Siobhan's your ex, isn't she?
392
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:41,480
Er, yes, she is, yes,
that's extremely perceptive of you.
393
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,040
Well, it's a bit odd that you bought
me to meet her on our first date.
394
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,040
Well, don't want any skeletons
in the cupboard, do we?
395
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,440
Well, you seem to care a lot
about what she thinks.
396
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,960
You're not over her, are you?
397
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:58,960
Of course I am. Oh, she doesn't
mean anything to me, nothing at all.
398
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,240
I mean, it was over once she
turned down my marriage proposal.
399
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,880
Oh, look at this, what a loser!
400
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:15,280
Oi, crutches! That's pathetic,
couldn't you afford a wheelchair?
401
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,520
This will be funny.
402
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,640
Oi, Hopalong, want your wages?
403
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,520
Would you like your wages?
404
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,560
Here they are. Oops!
405
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,600
Oh, better pick them up.
406
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,400
I will, they're mine.
407
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,600
Whoops!
408
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,760
Those ones over there are really far
away. Do you think you can get them?
409
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,360
Whoops a daisy!
You can't get them now.
410
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,360
Lisa! Lisa, wait.
Please let me explain.
411
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,640
Well, go on,
this should be interesting.
412
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,800
Kev is faking a work injury
to claim damages off me.
413
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,040
There's nothing the matter
with him, I just can't prove it.
414
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,280
I thought you were different,
415
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,280
Jimmy, but you're just another jerk.
416
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,840
I'm not a jerk...
417
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,680
I'm a mess.
Oh, that's much better(!)
418
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,240
All right, listen.
419
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:09,400
I'm on the rebound,
I'm a recovering alcoholic, and
I'm being sued by my best friend.
420
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,600
On the plus side, I do have
a clean driving license.
421
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,360
How about giving me another chance?
422
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,200
Well, OK.
423
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,960
Why don't you give me
a lift back to work?
424
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,480
It's a deal.
425
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,760
Pens down, no more writing, please.
426
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,200
Check your name
is on the front of your paper.
427
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,600
You'll see,
I'm an all right kind of guy.
428
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,080
Just gotta give it time.
429
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,200
Lots and lots of time.
430
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,360
Look at that! A-ha!
431
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,840
HE TOOTS HORN
432
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,520
HE REVS ENGINE
433
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,720
Jimmy, what are you doing?
434
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,160
HE REVS ENGINE
435
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,480
HE HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER
436
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,920
No, it's all right,
she's my mother-in-law.
437
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,040
Stop the van, stop it now.
438
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,440
But Lisa... Just stop the van.
439
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,760
So, shall I call you tomorrow?
440
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,680
Bobby, do us a favour and stick this
on your telly, would you?
441
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,640
Of course.
442
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,320
Poor Jimmy,
he's had to sell his own telly
443
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,960
to pay for my horrible
workplace injury.
444
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,880
Here we go.
445
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,080
Watch and enjoy, all of you.
446
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,680
Is that Jean Claude Van Damme?
447
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:23,200
Oh, Kev, you are so busted.
448
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,200
Oh, I'd say so, wouldn't you, Kev?
Bobby?
449
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,840
Kev, I'm shocked.
I can't talk at the moment.
450
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,680
Aah, I've got a crisp
stuck up my nose.
451
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,960
I think I'm gonna have to
sue you, Bobby.
452
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,720
I wouldn't normally, but it's
salt and vinegar. Oh, it stings.
453
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,840
Well, you can find yourself
another dodgy lawyer. I quit.
454
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,440
So, er, how's the new girlfriend?
455
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,520
What new girlfriend?
456
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,960
Must have imagined it.
457
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,480
Alex! Who said that?
458
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,560
I've got something that will do
wonders for your love life.
459
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,120
Come here. Right, keep still.
460
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,280
Only one owner,
461
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,840
good as new.
462
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,960
Thanks, Dad,
but me and Chelsea are history.
463
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,520
Why's that, obvious reasons? Yeah.
464
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,960
They always get too clingy,
don't they?
465
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,480
Good evening.
466
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,360
Hi, Diana.
Surprised to see me alive?
467
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:27,360
Yeah, sorry about that whole...
trying to run you over thing.
468
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,680
You know what it's like
on a first date.
469
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,440
Well, lucky for you I'm in
a forgiving mood, and let's face it,
470
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:37,560
who hasn't tried to mow down a
few lollipop ladies in their time?
471
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,720
Could you lot keep the noise down?
I'm trying to catch up on my sleep.
472
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,440
Oh, Gran, did you talk to Mr Cliff
about re-sitting my exam?
473
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,440
Yes, I turned on all my charms.
474
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,960
Good news... Yeah?
475
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,560
He gave me a job! As a supply teacher
for the whole area - it's perfect!
476
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,680
My influence
will be even more widespread.
477
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,440
I should have finished her off
when I had the chance.
478
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,880
Yeah, but what about my exam?
479
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,040
They're letting you retake it
tomorrow morning. Tomorrow?
480
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,240
Better get revising -
I've learnt my lesson.
481
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,680
Whoa,
look at the state of these floors.
482
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,840
So it looks like you'll be
hanging up your lollipop, then?
483
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,200
No, they let me keep that.
I thought it might come in useful.
484
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,960
What for?
485
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,320
Well, you know I said
I was in a forgiving mood...
486
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,840
Yeah. I lied.
487
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,840
CLUNK
488
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,920
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
489
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,960
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