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1
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# After you've gone
2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,360
# And left me crying
3
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,560
# After you've gone
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,600
# There's no denying
5
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,600
# Some day when you grow lonely
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,400
# Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only
7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:23,800
# After you've gone,
after you've gone away. #
8
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,600
Mwaahhhh!
9
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,320
Mwahhhh!
10
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,120
Diana? What?
What do you mean, what?
11
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:40,600
You're howling! It wasn't howling,
Jimmy, I'm warming up my voice.
12
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,760
Is that all? I thought you
had your hand stuck in the toaster.
13
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:50,280
Well, thank you for your concern but
I'm limbering up for choral society.
14
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,720
Doing Peter and the Wolf, are you?
15
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,520
Without Peter.
16
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,600
Go ahead and mock me. At least
I'm doing something with my life.
17
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,400
Ever since Siobhan dumped you,
you've done nothing
but mope around the house.
18
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,280
Don't you think
it's time to move on?
19
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:09,640
How can I? Every time I go into the
pub, Siobhan's behind the bar.
Then go to a different pub.
20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:15,000
I can't do that, I've been with that
pub longer than I was with Siobhan!
21
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,920
You know, you really should get
yourself out into the world again,
get a hobby.
22
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,080
Look at me! I've got two,
my singing and my self-defence.
23
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,000
Yeah, and without one you
wouldn't need the other.
24
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,640
And Liam's got a car. Wow!
25
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,600
I know, the best thing about
going with a sixth former.
26
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,600
Excellent.
27
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,760
Go on then,
ask me about my new girlfriend.
28
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,360
Oh, yeah. What does she
look like, what's her name?
29
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,040
She's so fit.
30
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,600
Her name's Hannah Pendleburton.
31
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,120
No, you are kidding.
32
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,680
I'm not, I have so scored.
33
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,240
Yeah, with Liam's sister!
34
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,720
What? It's the same surname.
35
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,880
So, there could be hundreds of
Pendleburtons at our school.
36
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,320
Alex, we can't go out
with a brother and sister.
37
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,600
It's sick in a bad way,
you've got to dump her.
38
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,520
No way, this is love.
Is it love with you and Liam?
39
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,160
Yeah. I told you, he's got a car.
40
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,760
Look, Molly, let's be fair about
this, who started dating who first?
41
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,400
Me and Liam, definitely.
I pulled Hannah last Tuesday.
42
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,840
What time Tuesday?
Three twenty. You and Liam?
43
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:28,120
Half past two. I win. Half past two,
during double physics? I think not.
44
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,560
OK, it was half past three.
But I'm not splitting up with Liam.
You don't have to.
45
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,440
I think us dating a brother
and sister's a fun idea.
46
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,080
Ooh, dating a brother and sister, eh?
47
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:43,000
Yeah. I've got to go and make plans.
Yeah, Hillbilly plans.
48
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,120
Well? It was an accident.
49
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,680
I don't want to talk about it.
50
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:51,160
Oh, come on, I've got
experience in that department. You?
51
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,760
Yeah.
52
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,080
I went out with two sisters once.
53
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,480
Dad, that's totally
not the same thing,
54
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,360
and I totally don't believe you.
55
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,240
So...
56
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,960
Look, just do us all a favour
and go to the pub.
57
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,840
No, I'm all right, I'm all right.
58
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,160
What you doing?
59
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,360
I'm doing my homework.
60
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,920
Oh, OK. Ssh.
61
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,960
I'm just gonna stand here and watch.
62
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,000
Look, I've tried being
nice, just get out.
63
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,360
FOOTBALL ON TV
64
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,360
Oh.
65
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,760
Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Siobhan.
66
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:46,360
How are you? I-I'm very well,
thank you, how are you?
67
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,720
Good, good, I'm good.
68
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,560
Good.
69
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,640
Well?
70
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,040
Er, yes, I'm very well, thank you.
71
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,160
Oh, no, I meant well as in,
would you like a drink?
72
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:04,200
Oh, er, yes, please,
um, I'll have a Coke, please,
if you don't mind, please. Thanks.
73
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,080
Of course I don't mind,
Jimmy, it's my job.
74
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,160
So what do you think?
75
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,160
Well, I think every day in every way
I am getting stronger.
76
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,600
I meant the big telly.
77
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,560
Oh, yeah, it's nice, Bobby, but I can
watch telly at home and often do.
78
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,320
Yes!
79
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,080
Well, I've got
slot machines and Karaoke too.
80
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,840
Fun, fun, fun.
81
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,720
It sounds horrible.
82
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,680
Hooray!
83
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,760
Kev, Kev, just a minute.
84
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,600
Which team are you supporting?
85
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,480
Both of them. That way I always win.
86
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,520
Come on, both of you.
87
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,920
Oh, thank you very much.
88
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,680
You're welcome, don't mention it.
89
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,640
How you doing, boss?
90
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,640
Well, I think I'm coping,
considering, but I've got this...
91
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,040
Yes, that's it! Nice one...
92
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,640
Do you fancy a go
on the karaoke later?
93
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,480
No, I don't.
94
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,400
I remember when this was
a pub, not a theme park.
95
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,760
I wanna talk to my mates,
I don't wanna have fun...
96
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,120
Bobby?
97
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,280
Oh, I'm going home.
98
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,480
YEAH!!
99
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,600
Yes!
100
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,560
Who needs a pub?
101
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,000
Still here? No, I'm not STILL here,
102
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,280
I'm BACK here.
103
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:57,160
I've been to the pub, but there's
of these big televisions dominating
the place,
104
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,880
no-one wants to talk to me any more.
105
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,920
Let me tell you about my evening.
106
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,920
You don't count.
107
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:08,400
I've been chosen by the
choir master to sing a duet
with him from La Boheme.
108
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,440
How absolutely tremendous(!)
109
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,320
I've always suspected
I'm Mr Allardyce's
favourite and now I know.
110
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,880
He can see I've got a rare gift.
111
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,440
Yeah, you can out-snob all the
other snobs in your snobby society.
112
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:28,360
You're so prejudiced. Just because
you're intimidated by people
who are more cultured than you.
113
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,800
Intimidated, no!
I'm a builder, I can talk to anyone.
114
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,040
I've worked for beggars and kings.
Oh, really, which king?
115
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,640
The...French one,
116
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,080
Louis the fourteenth.
117
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,760
Creosoting Versailles, were you?
118
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,680
I could hold my own with
your stuck-up choral society.
119
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,400
Ha! I'd love to see that.
120
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,560
Well, maybe you will. Will I?
121
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,720
Right. Right. Excellent. Fine.
122
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,280
You'll come with me next time?
123
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,880
Eh? Good, that's settled.
124
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,440
Will...will I have to sing?
125
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,040
It's a choral society, Jimmy,
I'm not having you play the spoons.
126
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,960
Oh, it's not really my sort of thing.
127
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,960
Ah, wait a minute, Jimmy.
128
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:15,280
One, it will get you out of the
house, two, it might actually
broaden your mind... I doubt that.
129
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:21,400
And three, they're desperate for
men - you'll be vastly outnumbered
130
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:21,400
by available, attractive women.
131
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,920
Posh totty, eh?
132
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,160
The poshest.
133
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,680
Well, how could I refuse? Wonderful.
134
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,960
Make sure you're
dressed appropriately.
135
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,880
Oh, don't worry,
I'll wear my best earplugs.
136
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,360
Oh, and same again, please, love.
137
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,240
I'll show Diana
no-one intimidates me.
138
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,320
Oh, where's Siobhan? Out the back.
139
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,840
Oh, good.
140
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,320
Anyway, I'm going along
for an audition tonight.
141
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,440
Wow. Save us tickets for your
debut at the Albert Hall.
142
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,800
Oh, he won't want to know us then,
we'll lose him.
143
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,800
Oh, no, no, I'll always make time
for the little people, eh, Kev?
144
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,680
Kev?
145
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,920
Bobby, why is that thing on
now anyway, there isn't
even a match tonight!
146
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,880
Are you kidding? It's the
European curling championships.
147
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,600
Curling?
148
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,080
How are you, Siobhan?
149
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,080
Fine. How many ends to go?
150
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,960
Only one more, you've just missed a
brilliant hit and stay. No, gutted.
151
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,600
Did you see that come-around?
152
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,120
Yeah, magic.
153
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,560
A brother and sister double date?
154
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,400
I know, how cool is that! It's not.
155
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,440
It's creepy, it's wrong
and it's not gonna happen.
156
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,360
And Friday night Liam and I are
going for a drive in his car.
157
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,640
HIS car? Yes.
158
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,440
A-ha, I think you'll find
the car in question actually
belongs to Liam and Hannah.
159
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,880
He can't take it out
anywhere without her agreement.
160
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,720
You've really looked
into this, haven't you? I know.
161
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,280
Roll on Friday.
162
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,080
I think I'll take my bath now.
163
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,760
Hello, Patti, hello, Beryl.
Did you bring the new arrangement?
164
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,160
Yes, Diana. Thank you.
And who is this young man?
165
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,080
This is Jimmy Venables.
166
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,960
My daughter's ex, er, friend.
Beryl, Patti.
167
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,720
BOTH: Hello.
168
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,360
New blood,
169
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,240
how exciting!
170
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,200
Aren't you hot?
171
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,920
Why don't you take your coat off?
172
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,200
You really should.
173
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:46,800
We could use some more mini quiches
and another jug of lime cordial.
174
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,680
I'm not a waiter.
175
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:53,080
Diana, could I have a private word?
176
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,840
You told me to dress appropriately.
177
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,200
Yes, but you never asked me what
appropriately meant, and I didn't
178
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:06,240
want to assume you didn't have
a clue, what with you moving in
royal circles. Very thoughtful.
179
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:14,080
And another thing,
not one of these attractive
available women is under 60.
180
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,360
What happened to my posh totty?
They matured.
181
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,040
Look, if you feel out of
your depth, you're free to go.
182
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,760
Oh, no, Diana,
you don't win that easily.
183
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,680
Good evening, Diana.
184
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,360
Ah, this must be Jimmy.
185
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:33,200
Yes, Reuben. Jimmy, this is Reuben
Allardyce, our lord and master.
186
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,720
How do you do. Hi. Always nice
to see a few young faces here.
187
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,200
Yes, it would be.
188
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,760
I hear you're going to audition
for us, marvellous.
189
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,640
Well, you haven't heard me yet.
190
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,320
So,
so what have you prepared for us?
191
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,400
Prepared?
192
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,640
No matter,
a spot of sight reading then.
193
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,280
Do you read?
194
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,120
Well,
I read the Da Vinci Code on holiday.
195
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,960
A tremendous joke.
196
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,600
There you go.
197
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,960
Just sing what you see
there on the page.
198
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:16,240
What do you see? Well, lots of
199
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:16,240
black dots and some squiggly things.
200
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,600
The untutored eye in all its glory.
201
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,000
Maybe I should just leave it.
202
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,000
No, no, nonsense, Jimmy.
203
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,440
Just sing a piece that you know.
204
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,120
Well, what sort of piece? Anything.
205
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,440
Something dear to your heart.
206
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,520
Oh, OK.
207
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,000
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
208
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,560
# Is this the real life?
209
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:47,360
# Is this just fantasy?
210
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:53,680
# Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality...
211
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,280
# Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo, Galileo
212
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,120
# Figaro magnifico-o-o-o
213
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,600
# I'm just a poor boy,
nobody loves me
214
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,960
# He's just a poor boy
from a poor family
215
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,560
# Spare him his life
from this monstrosity
216
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,200
# Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
217
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,440
# Easy come, easy go
Will you let me go?
218
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,120
# Bismillah...
219
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,320
# No, we will not let you go...
# Let him go...
220
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,760
# We will not let you go
Let him go...
221
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,520
# So you think you can stone me
and spit in my eye?
222
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,200
# Diddly diddly dum da-dum
223
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,000
# So you think you can love me...
224
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:31,280
# Nothing really matters to me
225
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,960
# Any way the wind blows. #
226
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,040
CRASH
227
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,520
Bravo!
228
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,920
Thank you, thank you.
229
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,240
I was so embarrassed. They loved it.
230
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,440
I give you a chance, you show me up
at my own choral society.
231
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,800
Well, you were just annoyed because
you wanted to show ME up. Obviously.
232
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,520
And you promised me women,
you didn't tell me they'd
233
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,520
be a gaggle of old biddies.
234
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:13,240
PHONE
235
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:13,240
Those old biddies happen to be my
dearest friends and one of them...
236
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,280
It's Mr Allardyce. Oh.
237
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,880
He's asking for Dad. What?
238
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,640
Thanks, Mol.
239
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,200
Hello...
240
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,720
Yes...
241
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,280
I understand.
242
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,440
Yes.
243
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,560
Yes.
244
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,080
Yes.
245
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,040
It's a yes.
246
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,240
I've passed the audition,
I'm in the choir.
247
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,480
Well done.
248
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,280
But you're not gonna go again,
are you? Yeah, course I am.
249
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,080
Look, Jimmy, you came, you proved
your point, now here's your fiver.
250
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,280
We didn't have a bet. Well, just
251
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,280
take it and that's the end of it.
252
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,040
No, no, you're not paying me off.
I got in, I'm going.
253
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,840
Oh, Mr Allardyce is just being kind.
254
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,240
He must think
he's doing me a favour.
255
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,680
No, you were right about me
getting a hobby, Diana. Thank you.
256
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,360
But Jimmy,
it's not really your thing.
257
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,320
I mean, what do you want
with a gaggle of old biddies?
258
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,640
The same as you - to sing.
259
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,160
# Tra-la-la!
260
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,240
So on Friday we're all going
on a double date together.
261
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,200
Jimmy,
it's time to go if you're going.
262
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,200
That's lovely, Molly.
263
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,400
It's not lovely. Two brothers and
two sisters, on a date, together.
264
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,160
It's like something
you see in a circus.
265
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,680
Dad, Alex is making us
all go on a double date.
266
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,400
Very cosy.
267
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,840
You know they're dating a brother
and sister. Yes, isn't it sweet?
268
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,520
Maybe we should get
their parents over. Gran!
269
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,120
Why stop there, let's get
the grandparents round as well.
270
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,240
Might be a grandpa in it for you.
271
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,720
Am I the only one that
thinks this is really weird?
272
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,000
Look, Molly, for the date.
273
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,320
Dad, please say something.
274
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,560
Got one in my size?
275
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,320
Good evening.
276
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,760
Oh, hello, Jimmy. No Tux tonight?
277
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,640
It's so exciting, having
a dashing young buck amongst us.
278
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:18,800
We all thought your rendition of
Bolivian Rhapsody was very powerful.
279
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,120
Thanks, it was nothing.
280
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:27,080
So it was you who discovered
him, Diana. Yes, I just kicked
over a log and there he was.
281
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,600
Would you like a cup of tea, Jimmy?
282
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,520
Er, yes, please.
283
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,520
Hot and sweet, like Beryl and me?
284
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,280
I'm going to get you
an extra biscuit.
285
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,880
Ooh.
286
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,240
May I borrow him a minute, girls.
287
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,240
What?
288
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,680
You know
it's not too late to leave, no-one
will think any the less of you.
289
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,600
Are you kidding,
I'm a singing sex god!
290
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,240
Now I know how Tom Jones feels.
291
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,320
Let's hope these ladies
can keep their knickers on.
292
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,080
I feel nauseous.
293
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,760
Ah, Reuben.
294
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,120
And how is my young protege?
295
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,760
Oh, not too bad, thanks, Reuben.
296
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,000
A natural talent, Diana.
297
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:13,680
In fact, I'm thinking of stepping
aside and letting Jimmy take
my place in the duet with you.
298
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,800
Jimmy, me and Puccini?
No, it will never work.
299
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,360
Oh, you're quite
right, no more Puccini.
300
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:21,160
We're going to follow Jimmy's lead
and reach out to the common man.
301
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,720
No offence, Jimmy.
302
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,720
Oh, none taken, Reuben.
303
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,400
I've discovered this
dear little duet.
304
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,680
I found it on the Google.
305
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,280
Is this what the
Allardyce choral society has become?
306
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,440
Inspired by Jimmy, yes.
307
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,880
I can't go through with this.
308
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,720
It's rampant dumbing down.
309
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:48,320
I'm sorry, Reuben,
I'm afraid it's Jimmy or me.
310
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,280
I wonder if Patti would jump in.
311
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:56,080
I'll do it. I'm just expressing
a few artistic qualms.
312
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:02,520
Yeah, Bobby, I was just telling Kev,
this choir thing's working out really
313
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:02,520
well, they think I'm a natural.
314
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,640
It's winding Diana up
something rotten.
315
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:15,040
Oh, and the women that go there,
cor, loads of them.
316
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:23,440
Yeah, they offered me some tea, OK,
and they said would I like it
hot and sweet like them.
317
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:32,040
You see what they did there,
they referred to themselves
318
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:32,040
as hot and sweet, eh?
319
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:40,040
Yeah, Patti, Judith, Beryl, phwoar.
320
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,360
Unusual names for young women.
321
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:47,520
Yeah, well,
some of those old-fashioned names
are coming back in. Not Beryl.
322
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:54,760
So telly still popular?
323
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:54,760
Yeah, but there's something wrong
with the box
324
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,640
and all I can get
is this Scandinavian channel.
325
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:02,320
Hey, Jimmy, come on,
you're a singer now, have a go
on my karaoke machine later.
326
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,000
Karaoke? I don't think so, Bobby.
327
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,000
I've got to go home and rehearse
with Diana, we're doing a duet.
328
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,840
Oh, I'm sorry.
329
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:20,920
# I got you, babe
330
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,640
# I got you babe.
331
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,200
Come on, Jimmy.
332
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,800
# I got flowers...
333
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,480
You don't have to do that.
334
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,800
# ..spring
335
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,880
# I got you
336
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,520
# to wear my ring
337
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,840
# And when I am sa-ad
338
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,920
# You're a clo-own
339
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,320
# And if I get sca-ared
340
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,360
# You're always aro-ound...
341
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,760
Stop! Stop! What now?
342
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,920
That's horrible.
343
00:18:54,920 --> 00:19:00,600
I'm trying to do it like Cher, a
flower child, I'm trying to dig it.
344
00:18:54,920 --> 00:19:00,600
Well, I wish you'd bury it.
345
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,840
Look, Jimmy why do we have
to do this I Got You Babe?
346
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,680
I've got rabies, the way you sing it.
347
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,480
It's pure dumbing down -
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
348
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,480
No, I don't know that tune.
349
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,840
It's the soundtrack to your life,
Jimmy.
350
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:20,520
Well, its no good blaming me,
you know, I don't like this stuff
either, I'm more of a rocker.
351
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,840
Led Zep, Bruce Springsteen,
Meat Loaf.
352
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:28,240
Hey, why don't we do Bat Out Of Hell,
353
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:28,240
the soundtrack to YOUR life?
354
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,800
Oh, come on, we have to be brave.
355
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,480
HE SIGHS
356
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,480
OK, I'll give it a try.
357
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,040
Hold hands. I'm not THAT brave.
358
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,760
It's what Sonny and Cher did.
359
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,120
Sonny and Cher were getting paid.
360
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:44,000
Oh, buck up, Jimmy,
361
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:44,000
it's just a performance, an act.
362
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,040
# I got you to hold my hand
363
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,120
# I've got you to understand
364
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:56,560
# I got you to walk with me
365
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,920
# I've got you to talk with me
366
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:03,320
# I got you to kiss good night
367
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,520
# I've got you to hold me tight
368
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,880
Oops, wrong house.
369
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,360
Yeah, all these houses look
the same. We should get a
bigger number on the door.
370
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,440
Or a padlock and some barbed wire.
371
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,880
This is pointless.
372
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,360
Ever since I was a little
girl it's always been my
373
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,360
dream to be a professional singer.
374
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:30,400
La Scala, Covent Garden,
the Sydney Opera House.
375
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:36,000
I wanted to be showered with
bouquets every night, I wanted
to have the world at my feet.
376
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,320
It's quite a modest ambition, Jimmy.
377
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:44,400
Well, look, we'll just go there
tonight and insist on another
opera song. Come on, cheer up.
378
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:49,800
Oh, Jimmy, it's not the tacky song,
it's not even your ghastly singing.
379
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:55,360
I worked so hard to
impress Reuben and then
you waltz in and he sees the light.
380
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,600
But you're still getting to sing
though, that's the important thing.
381
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,120
Yes, but I'm nothing special, am I?
382
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,720
Well, I wouldn't put it like that.
383
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,520
I know how you'd put it.
384
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,520
But don't give up yet, Diana.
385
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,040
It's not over until the fat lady...
386
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:19,680
Not you, not you, Diana,
I'm thinking of another lady and
actually she's not even fat, so...
387
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,200
I'm gonna get ready.
388
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,360
Well, this isn't awkward at all(!)
389
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,600
Come on, Molly, it's cosy.
390
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,640
Isn't there any chance
you could move your seat?
391
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,720
AAAGH!
392
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,120
Thanks, sis.
393
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,680
Let's have some music.
394
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,040
DANCE MUSIC
395
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,720
No, not this again,
put on The Feeling. No chance.
396
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,800
Liam, turn it off. Forget it.
397
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,720
Listen to them,
they're just like us.
398
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,880
This is getting even creepier.
399
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,400
And can you please
take your knee out of my back?
400
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,560
It isn't my knee.
401
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,240
It's my elbow.
402
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,760
Ignore them.
403
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,600
Right, that's it, we're swapping
seats, it's our turn in the back.
404
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,600
OK.
405
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,080
Well, wait for me to get out.
406
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,040
No, it's easier this way.
407
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,120
Hannah, you come through this
way, Liam, you go through there.
408
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,040
Alex, just sit down.
409
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,960
There we go.
410
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,600
Nice one, genius.
411
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,840
# So put your little hand in mine
412
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,040
# There ain't no hill
or mountain we can't climb...
413
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,440
Ah, Jimmy. Oh, right, ready for
the off? Tonsils all tuned up?
414
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,880
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to give choir a miss tonight.
415
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,400
Something's cropped up at school,
an emergency fundraiser.
416
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,440
We're desperately short
of...protractors, it's chaos.
417
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,520
You're not serious?
The choir needs you.
418
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,600
Oh, they'll muddle along without me.
419
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,760
They've got you...babe.
420
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,960
Make my excuses to Mr Allardyce.
421
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,440
Well, who's gonna put
their little hand in mine?
422
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,320
Well, you'll have the
choice between hot and sweet.
423
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,360
Hannah, shall I tell you
something about Alex? Yeah...
424
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,600
No. He still sleeps with his
teddy bear, little Lord Steven.
425
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,280
Oh, does he?
426
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,240
Alex, that is so adorable.
427
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,720
You know, Liam, I definitely think
this should be our last double date.
428
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,240
I agree.
429
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,800
This is stupid,
let me sit next to Liam.
430
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,000
OK, all change.
431
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,720
Worst date ever.
432
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,480
So you've had to come all
by yourself. Oh, poor Jim-Jim.
433
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,640
Well, it's no big deal. Never mind.
434
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,600
I've baked you a lemon drizzle cake.
435
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,280
Oh, thanks.
436
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,040
You know, Diana's been a member
for ten years. Really?
437
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,400
But she's never gelled with us
the way you have.
438
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,080
Ten years? At least.
439
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:23,080
Of course, we think she has too much
vibrato in her upper register.
Definitely.
440
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,240
What do you think, Jimmy? Well,
441
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,240
I'm not really that technical, so...
442
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,920
Then let me show you.
443
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,920
I think I get it.
444
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,720
I need to speak to Mr Allardyce.
445
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,520
Speak, Maestro.
446
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,920
Ah, Reuben,
I was just wondering whether Diana
and I could go back to singing opera.
447
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:48,000
Mmm... And that maybe you could
go back to singing the duet
with Diana instead of me.
448
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,720
Jimmy, I've been having
a little rethink of my own.
449
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,000
We completely drop
the duet with Dame Diana.
450
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,080
Drop it? No, it means so much to her.
451
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,080
Well, I think she'll live.
452
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:04,040
But she really wants to do it. Forget
453
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:04,040
Diana, she just isn't in your class.
454
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,680
Well, there is that.
455
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,280
I want you to do a solo instead.
456
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,040
A solo?
457
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:12,920
No.
458
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:16,280
A rock solo.
459
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:21,040
Still no. Not even a little
number by a certain Mr Springsteen?
460
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,240
Bruce Springsteen? The Boss? Mmm...
461
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,360
You really think I could pull it off?
462
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:30,360
Yes, I do. I'm thinking Born To Run.
463
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,480
You know what, Reuben,
464
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,360
I'm thinking the same.
465
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,400
I'll see you around.
466
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000
I'm keeping the cake, though.
467
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,640
Oh, look, there's Liam.
468
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,640
Oh, there's Molly.
469
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,480
No, that's not Molly.
470
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,320
Oi, Pendleburton. No, wait, don't!
471
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,560
No-one messes with
the Pendleburtons.
472
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,840
Well, how was it last night?
473
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,840
Are you still Reuben's golden boy?
474
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,480
No, I'm not in the choir any more.
475
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,480
Cake? What?
476
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,000
Got chucked out.
477
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,320
It's Beryl and Patti, isn't it?
478
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,800
What were you all up to?
No, don't tell me, it's too sordid.
479
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,640
Actually, Mr Allardyce
told me to leave.
480
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,800
He was firm but fair.
481
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,240
He said my voice wasn't up to it.
482
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:38,040
I am not and will never be
another Pavarotti or Sonny Bono.
483
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:42,640
Poor Jimmy. He said the audition
last week was a fluke, so...
484
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,160
It looks like you've got
your choral society back.
485
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,200
Yes, I suppose I have.
486
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:53,600
Well, it was never really
your thing, anyway,
you're more of a rocker.
487
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,240
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
488
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,440
And your voice would never have
stayed the course. No, maybe not.
489
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,840
And Reuben's right, you're only
a second-rate talent at most.
490
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,520
I mean, I wouldn't put it like that.
491
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,520
You know, I think I'll go to the pub.
492
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,640
Hi, Siobhan. Hi, Bobby. Hi, Kev.
493
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,840
All right, what's on?
494
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,840
It's a Swedish soap.
495
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,640
Malmo 351.
496
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:32,760
Ingrid's just found Torsen in bed
with Gunhille and her husband
Olaf's hiding in the bathroom.
497
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,840
Which one's Ingrid? The blonde one.
498
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,920
Hello. I came to thank you, Jimmy,
for your sacrifice.
499
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,760
Don't know what you mean.
I think you do.
500
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,880
Reuben Allardyce just came
by the house to try to talk you
out of leaving the choir.
501
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,600
Ah, I see. I thought you might.
502
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,320
And you didn't send him
straight round here to find me?
503
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,000
No, I said you'd emigrated. Drink?
504
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,000
Love one.
505
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,760
INTERFERENCE ON TV
506
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,720
Oh, no, they were just about
to find out who shot Bjorn.
507
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:09,880
At last, now this place can get back
to being a normal pub. We don't
need a telly for entertainment.
508
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,920
Oh, look, Jimmy, a Karaoke machine.
509
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,440
What?
510
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,400
Come on, for old times' sake.
511
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:21,600
Kev, quick, we've got a telly to fix.
512
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,520
MUSIC STARTS
513
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,520
Come on, come on, come on!
514
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,960
# They say we're young
and we don't know
515
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,720
# Won't find out
unti-i-il we gro-ow... #
516
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,600
# After you've gone
517
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,800
# And left me crying
518
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,000
# After you've gone
519
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,040
# There's no denying
520
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,040
# Some day when you grow lonely
521
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,840
# Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only
522
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:58,760
# After you've gone,
after you've gone away. #
523
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,120
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
524
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,200
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
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