Original subtitles

(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) This was supposed to be a present for

Prudence to replace the one that she lost.

It's a prototype sent to me from a

research lab in Shanghai, which combines ancient martial

arts weaponry with modern sexual technology.

It's so tiny.

Can it even do the job?

Whoa.

Now that shit is amazing.

I know, this century really does belong to

China.

Okay, I'm going to go and offer these

to Bigfoot.

He's been trying to collect electronics.

And then what?

And then I'm going to communicate with him

using my semester of human-animal telepathic communications.

Three credits non-transferable.

You flunked that course.

Veruca, that was just a failure to communicate.

There are some bunny rabbits you just can't

reach.

Besides, I've already had an encounter with Bigfoot

and I need to warn him.

I'm coming with you.

No, Mike, you stay here.

As a male, you might scare him off.

Stay here and make sure everyone's safe in

case I'm wrong.

Well, I'm tagging along.

There is no way I'm letting out in

that woods with that creature.

Anyone else want to come along?

You know, just once?

Twice?

Please?

This is going to be the bestest adventure

two best friends ever had.

Okay?

Come on.

There's still time.

Oh, shit.

I still think this is the craziest idea

you've ever had and that's really saying something.

Just give it time.

This will work.

Oh, uh, Prudence, we have an emergency.

Veruca, just go pee in the bushes.

Just make sure it's not dirt.

What?

Okay.

Bigfoot, you are in great danger.

There are bad people coming here to kill

you.

You have to go to another forest.

Please, please understand me.

He doesn't understand.

Okay, I hate to do this.

Bigfoot, go away.

I don't like you.

You're ugly.

You smell bad.

And men with lots of body hair is

a total turnoff.

Now just go to some other forest and

live your big stupid life.

Um, no.

Uh, uh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Veruca, just calm down.

I don't think he means any harm.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah shit!

I was supposed to be protecting my friend,

and she gets abducted by a horny monster!

Ah!

Oh my god!

What the?

Big Boy, he took her!

He took her!

Big Boy!

He took Brutus into the woods!

What?

He took her off into the woods?

So that's how it is.

Whatever, we need to go right now.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

No, wait.

You stay here and take care of Ginger

and Dirk.

Okay.

Come on.

Let's go.

Be careful.

I'm sorry, this bump on my head might

make it hard for me to use my

telepathic communication skills.

Okay, I guess this is all in the

name of science, right?

That's good.

One, two, three.

Can you hear me?

Oh my god, I can hear you.

My animal communication is working.

No, the device you've inserted allows you to

hear my thoughts.

You can tell they're my thoughts because of

the reverb effect.

Oh yeah, I am really digging the reverb.

This machine is amazing.

Where did you learn to make it?

I am not a creature of the forest

as you have assumed.

I come from another world.

My ship malfunctioned when I was forced to

land here and find components to repair it.

I assumed acting like a savage beast would

keep humans away while I made my repairs.

You came here in a spaceship?

Oh wow,

I'm surprised I never noticed it earlier.

We have always avoided your world, convinced it

is a primitive and savage planet where humans

kill for pleasure.

Earth was deemed too dangerous.

Oh, well, I suppose you're right, but not

all humans are bad.

You have proven that, you have a kind

heart.

I will report that to the people of

my world and tell them that someday we

can live together in peace and that they

probably shouldn't want me here.

I'm sorry, what?

Oh, uh, forget that last part.

Probably won't happen anyway.

Telepathy is really tricky sometimes.

Now I must go.

I only wanted to have some time with

you and tell you how I felt and

how your call touched my heart.

Oh, couldn't we just have a few more

moments together?

Well, I suppose a few more minutes would

be helpful.

Oh, I think you need to take out

the translator for a few minutes.

Oh, okay.

Oh, oh, Wow.

That was wonderful.

Any further thoughts?

Oh my goodness, I just remembered.

Bigfoot, you have to go.

Bad hunters are coming here to kill you.

You don't have a tiny little second to

waste.

You're right.

But I believe you originally came here to

get some photos.

I don't care about that anymore.

I just care about you getting home safe.

I kept this for just that purpose.

Your friends are counting on you.

I don't even know your name.

Other than Bigfoot.

In your language, it is pronounced.

I imagine every one of you will be

a hunter soon.

What?

Let's just stick to Bigfoot.

Okay.

Thank you.

I must go now.

But I will be able to communicate with

you.

And don't forget to turn up the reverb.

Because it will remind me of you.

Now, I'm going home.

Oh.

My.

God.

He's going back to his home.

An alien race is really important.

Bye.

Wow.

That all worked out.

Brooke, I'm so sorry there were no hunky

lumberjacks or poor strangers.

I hope we still found something for your

blog.

Well.

It's the

right thing to do.

See?

We're just manifesting great things like crazy here.

I agree.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

When are we going to tell Dirk about

what happened?

I mean the whole Bigfoot flying away thing.

He can't keep moping around here all day

forever.

I know.

I'm going to tell him tonight.

Tonight he feels kind of bad for him.

Bigfoot!

Bigfoot!