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(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) This was supposed to be a present for
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Prudence to replace the one that she lost.
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It's a prototype sent to me from a
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research lab in Shanghai, which combines ancient martial
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arts weaponry with modern sexual technology.
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It's so tiny.
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Can it even do the job?
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Whoa.
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Now that shit is amazing.
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I know, this century really does belong to
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China.
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Okay, I'm going to go and offer these
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to Bigfoot.
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He's been trying to collect electronics.
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And then what?
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And then I'm going to communicate with him
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using my semester of human-animal telepathic communications.
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Three credits non-transferable.
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You flunked that course.
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Veruca, that was just a failure to communicate.
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There are some bunny rabbits you just can't
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reach.
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Besides, I've already had an encounter with Bigfoot
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and I need to warn him.
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I'm coming with you.
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No, Mike, you stay here.
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As a male, you might scare him off.
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Stay here and make sure everyone's safe in
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case I'm wrong.
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Well, I'm tagging along.
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There is no way I'm letting out in
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that woods with that creature.
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Anyone else want to come along?
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You know, just once?
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Twice?
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Please?
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This is going to be the bestest adventure
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two best friends ever had.
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Okay?
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Come on.
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There's still time.
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Oh, shit.
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I still think this is the craziest idea
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you've ever had and that's really saying something.
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Just give it time.
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This will work.
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Oh, uh, Prudence, we have an emergency.
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Veruca, just go pee in the bushes.
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Just make sure it's not dirt.
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What?
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Okay.
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Bigfoot, you are in great danger.
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There are bad people coming here to kill
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you.
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You have to go to another forest.
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Please, please understand me.
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He doesn't understand.
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Okay, I hate to do this.
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Bigfoot, go away.
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I don't like you.
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You're ugly.
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You smell bad.
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And men with lots of body hair is
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a total turnoff.
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Now just go to some other forest and
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live your big stupid life.
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Um, no.
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Uh, uh, no.
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
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Veruca, just calm down.
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I don't think he means any harm.
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Ah!
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Ah!
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Ah shit!
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I was supposed to be protecting my friend,
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and she gets abducted by a horny monster!
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Ah!
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Oh my god!
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What the?
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Big Boy, he took her!
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He took her!
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Big Boy!
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He took Brutus into the woods!
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What?
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He took her off into the woods?
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So that's how it is.
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Whatever, we need to go right now.
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Let's go.
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Let's go.
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Let's go.
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No, wait.
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You stay here and take care of Ginger
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and Dirk.
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Okay.
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Come on.
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Let's go.
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Be careful.
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I'm sorry, this bump on my head might
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make it hard for me to use my
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telepathic communication skills.
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Okay, I guess this is all in the
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name of science, right?
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That's good.
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One, two, three.
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Can you hear me?
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Oh my god, I can hear you.
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My animal communication is working.
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No, the device you've inserted allows you to
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hear my thoughts.
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You can tell they're my thoughts because of
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the reverb effect.
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Oh yeah, I am really digging the reverb.
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This machine is amazing.
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Where did you learn to make it?
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I am not a creature of the forest
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as you have assumed.
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I come from another world.
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My ship malfunctioned when I was forced to
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land here and find components to repair it.
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I assumed acting like a savage beast would
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keep humans away while I made my repairs.
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You came here in a spaceship?
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Oh wow,
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I'm surprised I never noticed it earlier.
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We have always avoided your world, convinced it
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is a primitive and savage planet where humans
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kill for pleasure.
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Earth was deemed too dangerous.
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Oh, well, I suppose you're right, but not
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all humans are bad.
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You have proven that, you have a kind
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heart.
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I will report that to the people of
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my world and tell them that someday we
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can live together in peace and that they
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probably shouldn't want me here.
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I'm sorry, what?
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Oh, uh, forget that last part.
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Probably won't happen anyway.
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Telepathy is really tricky sometimes.
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Now I must go.
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I only wanted to have some time with
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you and tell you how I felt and
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how your call touched my heart.
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Oh, couldn't we just have a few more
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moments together?
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Well, I suppose a few more minutes would
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be helpful.
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Oh, I think you need to take out
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the translator for a few minutes.
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Oh, okay.
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Oh, oh, Wow.
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That was wonderful.
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Any further thoughts?
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Oh my goodness, I just remembered.
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Bigfoot, you have to go.
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Bad hunters are coming here to kill you.
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You don't have a tiny little second to
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waste.
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You're right.
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But I believe you originally came here to
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get some photos.
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I don't care about that anymore.
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I just care about you getting home safe.
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I kept this for just that purpose.
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Your friends are counting on you.
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I don't even know your name.
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Other than Bigfoot.
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In your language, it is pronounced.
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I imagine every one of you will be
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a hunter soon.
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What?
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Let's just stick to Bigfoot.
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Okay.
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Thank you.
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I must go now.
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But I will be able to communicate with
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you.
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And don't forget to turn up the reverb.
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Because it will remind me of you.
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Now, I'm going home.
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Oh.
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My.
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God.
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He's going back to his home.
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An alien race is really important.
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Bye.
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Wow.
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That all worked out.
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Brooke, I'm so sorry there were no hunky
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lumberjacks or poor strangers.
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I hope we still found something for your
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blog.
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Well.
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It's the
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right thing to do.
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See?
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We're just manifesting great things like crazy here.
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I agree.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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When are we going to tell Dirk about
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what happened?
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I mean the whole Bigfoot flying away thing.
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He can't keep moping around here all day
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forever.
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I know.
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I'm going to tell him tonight.
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Tonight he feels kind of bad for him.
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Bigfoot!
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Bigfoot!
13149
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