Original subtitles

Bloody hell!

Somebody just killed me.

What are we doing here?

I don't want to go to a true-crime convention.

Don't we have enough crime in our lives already?

Well, I heard there's something to do with us going on in there.

- What sort of something? - I don't know.

That's why I thought we should go in and find... out.

- Oh. - It's all very bloodthirsty, isn't it?

Eh, true crime is huge nowadays.

Hundreds of podcasts.

Surprising venue for a convention.

"Lols."

What are you-- - It was you, wasn't it?

You told Fergus to break up with me?

Absolutely not.

I would never tell him to break up with you.

But you told him about Georgetown.

- Uh... - Ohh!

I was racking my brains to work out how he found out.

So obvious.

How could you?

Okay, Lola, you're clearly upset, and I understand why.

But this isn't the time or the place.

I'm at work.

We can talk about this when I get home.

No, I don't want to talk to you.

You know, you're always saying

what a terrible person Granddad is.

You are such a hypocrite.

- Which way? - Uh...

That way?

Sorry. - Wait, hold on a sec.

Didn't we catch him? - Yeah.

Yeah. We did.

Ugh.

Oh. Trippy.

Last time you saw him, he peed himself.

Indeed.

Blanchardstown?

In Victorian days, it was just fields.

There were no dark alleys.

Yeah, it's almost like this isn't all factually correct

and totally believable.

Have you talked to Lola?

No, no, she won't take my calls.

I'm pretty sure she hates me.

No, I don't think so.

You made a very mature decision,

but you did it in a very immature way.

You should have let her have some say in it.

She wouldn't have gone, Harry.

Well, she's going now. Next week.

Oh! - Excuse me.

- Nice. - Wasn't that your one

who killed her sister for the inheritance?

- Yeah. - The spooky village, right?

- Oh. - Come on.

Ah.

Oh, Barbara Quinlan?

Everybody's favorite bad writer and part-time prostitute.

And a new book-- retired history professor

and a young sidekick? - Pegasus Mead?

Really?

I was there from the very beginning, I was.

Got Harry her first Taser gun.

Completely illegal, of course.

Actually, forget I said that.

What was the inspiration for the podcast, then?

Well, that was actually my wife Petra's idea.

She said that we owe it to the world and to Harry and Fergus

to chronicle their exploits for future generations.

In the meantime, it'd be a nice little earner.

You're like the Watson to their Sherlock Holmes.

Oh, I like that one. Yeah. I might use that.

Glenn.

Harry. Fergus. Oh, look who it is.

It's our guests of honor. Ha, ha!

The real Harry and Fergus.

- What was your favorite case? - Glenn, what the actual hell?

I can explain.

Well, go on then.

What, now? I'll tell you what.

I'll just sign a couple of autographs

and then I'll be right with you, Harry.

- Glenn. - Ooh, that's a bit tender, Harry.

Aah!

What the bloody hell are you up to, Glenn?

What is all this? - It's the future, Harry.

Well, look, I suppose actually, it's the present.

It's right now. You two are right now.

True crime is massive, isn't it?

Like, I don't know, a-- a magic eight ball in the '70s

or Tamagotchi in the '90s.

I literally have no idea what you're talking about.

What you do is so now. Okay?

I mean, everyone's mad into murder these days,

and the way they want it is podcasts.

The buggers can't get enough of it.

You do a podcast about us?

Yes, Harry, it's called "The Wild Files."

Sorry, Fergus, would have tried to get your name

in there, but, uh, well,

Petra thought it scanned better without.

Hell of a head for marketing, that girl.

Well well, well, so we meet again.

You're writing a book about us.

About you? Absolutely not.

My detectives are the fruits of my vast imagination.

- A retired professor. - History professor.

Couldn't be more different.

Although, if you want to get in on a bit of signing action--

Stop right now. This is ridiculous.

No more books and no more podcasts.

Oh, come on, Harry, be reasonable.

This could be great for you guys.

Bring in new clients.

I mean, new cases aren't just going to drop out of the sky.

Bloody hell.

Somebody just killed me.

Good afternoon.

What the bloody hell is going on here?

You.

I should have known you'd be involved.

I'm not involved. Apart from she almost fell on me.

What sort of lax security have you got here

that lets people almost fall on other people?

Do you think it was an accident or was it murder?

Was she murdered? - No. It's too early to tell.

Trevor, will you get these people back?

Yeah. No problem.

Everyone move back a bit, please.

Oy, you, get away from there.

Who are you?

Ollie Reilly, head of security.

Trevor, get something to cover this up.

Well, may I suggest you close all the doors

until the Guards get here? No one in or out.

- Yeah. Good idea, Harry. - Oh, you're with him, are you?

No. Then no.

You cannot suggest any such thing.

Do you realize how many people

we have coming in and out of here?

Yes. One of them may be a murderer.

- So it is a murder? Oh, my. - And you are?

Sorry. Mary O'Driscoll. I'm the event organizer.

And look, don't get me wrong. It's awful what happened.

It's just awful.

But an actual murder at a crime convention--

Do you know how much publicity we're gonna get?

Look, my son's a Guard.

I'll get him here as soon as I can.

But in the meantime,

if there's a chance that the killer is here,

we have to do everything we can to stop him from leaving.

Well, we don't even know if this is a murder yet.

And we'll find out.

But right now, we're wasting time.

Oh!

- Barbara. - Oliver, hello.

Do listen to what Harry has to say.

She's awfully good at this sort of thing.

Oh, you know her, too? Well, that's different.

Uh, Trevor, I want you to get all the guys,

lock the main entrance, then get Keith and Andy,

lock the east and west doors.

No one gets in or out. Got it?

Which one am I supposed to do again?

Oh, for the love of God!

Just get hold of the guys and lock all the doors!

I don't know how he got a job here.

I suspect he's someone's relative.

Right. Barbara, you better come with me.

I'm going to make a cordon around the crime scene.

Come on. Move back. Come on.

What have you done to annoy him?

Uh, me and Ollie go back donkeys.

Can't remember why we fell out, to be honest.

Although I did once try and sell him a house

that turned out not to be mine.

Honest mistake.

Do you recognize her?

No. Who is she?

Well, there's something about her face.

It's very familiar. I just--

I just can't think where from.

Anyway...

If you're phoning to see how things went with Marcello,

don't bother. He never showed. - Oh, you're kidding.

I don't know why I even agreed to meet him.

Well, as useless as he is, he is your father, Charlie.

Yeah, well, listen,

I'm late for a meeting with Vivienne, so I don't have--

That'll have to wait. We have a situation here--

a dead body.

Jesus, Mother!

Y-You shouldn't be allowed out the door.

Where are you?

At the true-crime convention.

Got it. You know the routine. Don't touch anything.

Blah blah blah.

We'll be there as soon as we can.

I'll try upstairs.

Uh, didn't Charlie do his usual

and tell you not to touch anything?

- Of course he did. - S--

Tina. I know her from somewhere.

But where?

Right. We're all locked up.

You call your son?

- Yes. He's on his way. - Alright.

What do we do now? Do we shut down the event?

- No, no. You can't. - She's right.

There are hundreds of people here.

The news will spread, but we need to keep it

as quiet as possible for as long as possible.

Oh, really? Because I was about to do a tweet.

No tweeting.

Any event that is scheduled must continue.

If you cancel anything,

people are going to try and leave

and they'll realize that they can't.

No, Charlie will be here.

He'll tell us what we need to do next.

You must have security cameras all over the place, right?

- Pretty much. Why? - Can we have a look?

Not a cha-- No problem. At all.

I'm sure he, uh, won't be long.

I understand you're getting married soon.

Yes. That's right. Um, in Carrick Doon.

Ah.

I have a holiday home down there.

Oh. I believe the Taoiseach does too.

He does.

So when is the big day?

Next month, the 5th.

Ah. I'll be down there then.

Well, y-you must come.

Apologies for my lateness,

but we're going to have to reschedule.

I've just got a call from my, uh...

I just got a call.

There's been a death at the convention center.

Vicky, rally the troops.

- Oh. - Are you okay?

You remember I had a go at you

for inviting Harry to the wedding?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, well,

I've just accidentally invited the Deputy Commissioner.

Yeah, yeah.

Ugh!

- I cannot... - Okay.

I know it's inconvenient. I won't keep you long.

I just need you to be a little bit patient, okay?

There.

So it's a fake you and a fake me.

They're out of camera range.

Yeah, but they're about to come into range... here.

There's no cameras on the gantry.

Fast-forward. See if he comes back down again.

He makes sure to keep turned away.

- There. - He's going in there and--

Oh, we are in luck.

The killer can only go one way into the theater here.

He's still in there.

♪ I never wanted to be a hero

♪ Ah, I just wanted to be a man ♪

♪ When they came a-callin'

♪ I knew I had to make a stand

♪ Stand up for what is right

♪ Never back down from a fight

♪ Well, the bad man's out there ♪

♪ And he, he has to pay

♪ Catch a killer, you say

♪ Catch a killer, you say

♪ Catch a killer, you sa-a-ay

♪ Catch a killer, you say

♪ Catch a killer, you say

Security. ♪ Catch a killer, you say

The killer changed and snuck out of here.

He could be anyone. - ♪ Catch a killer, you say

We got to get out of here.

You're interrupting my art.

Oh, my God, it's you.

Everyone, this is the inspiration for my new single.

This is Harry Wild. - Whoa!

That single is still available for purchase.

Okay, that's enough of that.

Move back, move, move, move back.

Can I borrow that?

There's no way to know which one is the killer.

The dead woman, Tina Mulcahy--

She's from Kilmore Cross. They're nuns.

That's it-- the pub where we met Jenny.

Sister Ignatius. She was the barmaid.

So, what are you doing down here?

The sights, the ambience, the peace.

Yeah.

That's a weird coincidence. - Indeed.

And I don't like coincidence.

Lovely. Thank you.

Right. Hello, everybody.

Thank you for coming.

For those of you who don't know who I am,

my name is Graham Lanagan.

I'm a gardener by trade,

but I have a little podcast on poison-- plant-based poisons.

The rhododendron and azalea,

two very common houseplants and both potential killers.

Let me tell you about mad honey or grayanotoxin poisoning.

Its effects are not too serious generally,

but for-- for-- for some people,

those who have underlying health issues,

you can be dead.

Oh, oh, oh.

Ohh! Oh! Oh! Aah! Aah!

Aah, aah.

Who's the victim? I'm assuming you two haven't been idle.

- If only. - We have victimsnow, Charlie.

- What? - We have twodead bodies.

Yeah. First one, we weren't sure it was murder.

Could have been an accident.

Second one was poisoned, so no doubt now.

Any suspects?

Well, the woman who organized it all

seems very happy about there being a possible murder.

This is Ollie Reilly. He's the head of security here.

Chief Superintendent Charlie Wild.

Ollie secured the place after the first death.

We weren't sure if the killer was still in there,

but clearly he or she is. - Good man.

We're going to take charge of the venue now.

Go with my officers. Give them what they need.

No problem.

We'll start a search.

But do we know who we're looking for?

Let's start with this organizer.

Well, hello, Chief Superintendent.

And in uniform this time. I do like a man in uniform.

Charlie, you remember Barbara, right?

Uh, of course.

Um, good to see you again, Barbara.

The, um, organizer-- What's her name?

Mary O'Driscoll.

Do we know where she is?

There.

And acting weird.

- Any reason you want to leave? - I wasn't trying to leave.

Well, why were you trying to pick the lock, then?

I was trying to let people in.

Look, word has spread about what's happened,

and keeping paying customers out is costing me a fortune.

Bring her upstairs.

This way.

Okay. Who are the victims? Bring me up to speed.

Well, the first one is Tina Mulcahy.

She was a barmaid in Kilmore Cross.

- Kilmore Cross. That's... - Yes.

- Relevant? - Not sure yet.

Second one-- Graham something.

Celebrity gardener. - Alright.

Events were still going on after the first death?

Well, we thought it was best to keep people distracted

until you got here.

Tell them about the second victim.

Oh, um, Graham...

Lanagan. He was a guest speaker.

A gardener who does a podcast on poisons.

He was talking, and he just dropped dead.

Was this what he was talking about?

- Uh, yes, I think so. - What is it?

Well, do you remember we came home recently

and we found one of these on the doorstep.

That's odd. No note. - A bit weird, isn't it?

Who sent you those?

Yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

Tina Mulcahy-- I mean, it may be a coincidence, but now,

I mean, I think there's something more going on here.

It's just a plant, Mother.

No, wait. I think Harry's right.

You remember you told me about that weird phone call you got?

Creepy child reading an extract from a badly written book.

Her third hand has always been useful.

It was ambidextrous, and she could hold her gun in it.

And then the police didn't know if her victim had been shot

by a right hand. - What?

Yeah, so? - Well, there's someone here

who writes very bad literature.

Barbara, uh,

have you ever written about a three-handed woman?

Oh, yes. Indeed.

"The Mystery of the Threadbare Sock."

Absolute page turner.

One of my Winifred Womble series,

some say the greatest literary detective ever created.

Mm!

I think Barbara is a potential victim.

The killer's obviously been planning this for weeks.

Yeah, but to what end?

To get to you? - Us.

I mean, we've put plenty of people behind bars.

And even if they are still inside,

they have family, friends, people.

I mean, maybe somebody is looking for payback.

This is very elaborate for payback.

Well, maybe their dog told them to do it.

The point is, we need to get Barbara to safety,

and we need to figure out what all this means.

I have a safe room I could take her to.

Okay, we'll get you out of the venue as soon

as I can arrange transport.

You and Fergus should go too, Ma.

No. No. The killer is here.

I mean, if we leave, there's no reason for him to stay.

I mean, right now we have an advantage.

This is so exciting.

I mean, it's terrifying, but it's exciting.

I can feel a whole new series of books coming on now.

Okay, so the plant, the phone call, and the taxi driver.

Anything else weird happen?

I don't think--

What is it?

I think you need to examine the body.

We need to wait till crime scene--

Just look in his mouth.

I think you're gonna find a coin there.

Like the coin-toss killer?

You remember that night when we came back

after Mick Brady was arrested?

Well, I found a coin on the doormat.

I didn't think anything of it, but...

Shit.

Mick Brady's still in jail.

I was dealing with paperwork about him this morning.

I told you there was a second killer.

You better take a look at Tina.

You're going to find another coin there.

Hold on.

If there is a second killer and he

or she has been planning this for weeks,

Graham and Barbara

were both booked to speak at this convention,

so the killer could have known about that.

And Tina was a punter,

so maybe she knew the killer when she came here with them.

But how would the killer have predicted that wewould be here?

Well, you're the one that brought me here.

How did you hear about it?

Well, Petra's sister told me about it.

- Concepta? - Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention,

we're going to get you out of here as quickly as we can.

But to do that, we're going to need names and addresses.

I want two orderly queues starting here.

The guards will take your details.

- Right. - This way, please.

Don't worry, Barbara. No one will get to you here now.

I know killers. I've written enough of them.

Once they set their sights on the prize,

nothing will stop them.

Yes, but he's going to have to go through me first.

Well, you're very sweet.

I shall be Sir Reginald Huntley Shapiro

to your Lady Astrid.

You've read one of my books?

I have read all of your books.

All 206 of them?

Multiple times. I am a big fan.

You never said anything when, you know, you were a client.

Well, I-I-I didn't want to come across

as some sort of weird stalker.

But you're not. Are you?

No! Really.

So, which one's your favorite?

Well, I love them all.

And I'm particularly fond of Winifred Womble, of course.

Who isn't?

But if I had to pick one,

it would be "The Cherry Blossom of Hurst Mont Hall."

When Sir Denys races Captain Northumberland,

even though he's been blinded by his musket

misfiring so as to stop him from flogging Emily's father,

I can't help tearing up.

- Ooh-ooh-ooh! - Ohh-ohh-ohh!

Glenn. Glenn. Glenn!

I wasn't doing nothing!

I was going to put it back.

Where's Concepta?

Oh, She went for more supplies.

Well, why is she not back?

Talk of the devil. Says, "I'm outside.

Guards won't let me in."

- I'm on it. - Um, that was Mr. Reilly.

Miss Quinlan has remembered something important.

Says she needs to talk to you right away.

Fergus, why don't you go with Charlie,

and I'll find out what Barbara wants?

Let's meet back here.

I'll take you to where they are.

I'll keep an eye on this stuff.

Open it up.

Let her in. - What on Earth's going on?

Why am I not allowed in? - Concepta, this convention,

why did you mention it to me?

Did you want me and Harry here? - Of course I did.

It's been Petra's plan all along.

- You're behind this? - Of course I am.

And you're my little puppets. - I'm so confused.

Are you the killer? - What?

Don't be so idiotic.

But then why did you do any of this?

Petra told me to.

She left very strict instructions.

See, she got talking to a fella in the Goose one day,

and he's the one who told her

how much money you can make from podcasts and stuff.

Plus, he assured her he could get her a spot

at this convention.

What guy? Do you have a name for him?

And how could he get you in here?

He works here as a security guard.

Trevor.

- Let's go. - Text Glenn.

Tell him to meet us on the way.

Did he tell you what Barbara wanted to talk to me about?

No, I don't think Mr. Reilly likes me very much.

He thinks I got this job through nepotism, but I didn't.

Um, what are you doing here?

We were just-- - Well, I think I can see what you were just--

Why did you call me up here if you--

What do you mean? We didn't call you up here.

Well, Trevor told--

How does no one know where this safe room is?

I think that's just what Ollie calls it.

It could be anywhere.

Look, he's not going to be seen on these cameras.

He's too clever for that.

When he killed Tina Mulcahy, he--

he didn't let himself be seen.

Okay? He knew where the cameras were.

Suspect identified as

security guard Trevor Purcell.

I want this place taken apart, brick by brick.

He's got my mother.

You?

But-- But you're a moron.

See? I told you he didn't like me!

Probably likes you even less now.

You. You and Mick Brady.

How? - Who's Mick Brady?

Killed people on the flip of a coin.

And this is... his partner?

I was more his mentor.

I taught him everything he knows.

But he's, what, 20 years older than you?

- So we were unconventional. - Are you related?

No.

He gave me a lift in his truck one day.

I was going to kill him, but the coin had other ideas.

The coin knows, you see.

Is it a magic coin or...?

So you did all this? Tina Mulcahy,

Graham Lanagan, Barbara, just to punish me?

Aaah!

Events were still going on after the first death?

Well, we thought it was best to keep people distracted

until you got here.

Tell them about the second victim.

Graham... Lanagan. He was a guest speaker.

A gardener who does a podcast on poisons.

He was talking, and he just dropped dead.

Why Tina or Graham or Barbara?

It's the coin. It's always the coin.

It's the inherent beauty of chance.

I could have killed you quick or slow or not at all.

Hey, the coin chose to do it like this.

I don't get it.

You don't get it because it's nonsense.

No need to be rude. Sure, it's not for everyone.

Same as Catholicism.

Well, it's hardly a religion.

It makes more sense than most religions.

After you got Mick, I followed you for a while.

I was there when you were at the convent.

I was watching you.

You know who they are, don't you?

That's Harry Wild and Fergus Reid.

They're always in the newspapers, solving murders.

I love a bit of true crime.

There's a-a convention going to be on in Dublin.

Rude.

So, tell me more about this convention.

Sounds interesting. Got anyone to go with?

Do you mind?

Tina was easy enough.

Lonely.

It was simple to convince her to dress like you and your partner.

Why Graham or Barbara?

Well, once the coin decided that we were coming here,

I looked at the guest list.

Barbara was obvious enough.

She had a connection to you already.

There are 16 guest speakers here today.

It could have been any one of them.

The coin chose Graham Lanagan. - Oh, sorry.

As good as the question you ask it,

it's mostly binary, so it's yes or no.

That's where you're wrong. I was raised by the coin.

My father lived by it since the '60s.

The coin spoke to him in an LSD fever dream.

I don't think being off your tits

is a solid basis for starting a religion.

The coin has a mischievous personality.

Well, the coin doesn't have a personality.

It's a coin!

It's all in your head.

You're little more than a Batman villain

without the interesting facial scarring.

And you!

Are not much fun anymore.

Let's get this over and done with, shall we?

This place is too big, Charlie.

We're never going to find them.

If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears.

It's Harry.

You won't get away with this.

- That's up to the coin. - You're off your rocker.

That still doesn't tell us where they are.

Uh, keep listening.

The coin likes you.

The coin doesn't either like or dislike Barbara.

It doesn't have an opinion.

It's a coin!

After you caught Mick, I was going to vanish.

Call it a close one and leave

before he told the Guards everything.

But the coin had other ideas.

The coin knew Mick wouldn't blab.

The coin spoke to you. You speak coin?

Yeah, I speak coin.

Heads, Mick will blab. Tails, he wouldn't.

It was tails, so I knew he wouldn't squeal to the Guards.

Well, you got lucky.

Did the coin tell you to bring us up here

to the old staff room? - I'm on it.

- Hey! - Oh!

No.

They're in the old staff room.

Ask one of the security guards where it is.

Take the east staircase to the top of the floor.

End of the corridor.

You flipped for Barbara,

and the coin let her live.

Well, she knows who you are.

Everyone knows who you are.

I think the coin has turned on you.

- That's... not how it works. - Are you sure about that?

Have you-- Have you ever asked the coin?

Have you ever asked the coin if it wants you to stop killing?

Heads, you stop. Tails, you carry on.

- I told you-- - Oh!

I think you're scared.

I don't think that your belief system is as strong

as you'd like to pretend.

I think you're like one of those evangelical Christian preachers

that talks a big talk and has a string of secret mistresses.

Go on.

Ask him.

Heads, you stop.

Tails, you-- you carry on.

Okay.

Shit!

Best of three.

The coin has spoken.

Don't!

Did you get everything logged?

- Not yet. - Okay, let's get on that.

Sorry to keep you.

Hello. - Good to see you, Robbie.

Charlie, I'm sorry.

In another life.

Ugh.

Oh, God, come on.

- At last. - Oh, no!

What?

Look, I've had a hell of a day,

and I don't have the energy for you.

Okay. Okay. I tell you the truth.

Look. Yes, there is a couple involved,

but I didn't so much stand up to him as sleep with his wife.

Just a little. - Of course you did.

And took a necklace that belonged to his nun.

Oh.

Sex was nothing, was meaningless.

He doesn't even like his wife that much.

But listen. He's here. He's in Dublin.

He was at my hotel. I only just got away.

Well, clearly it wasn't meaningless to him.

So why are you telling me this? What do you expect me to do?

Talk to him. Convince him to let me go.

You are the smartest person I know.

Well, give him back the necklace, beg for forgiveness.

I would, but I kind of lost it in a card game.

Oh, my God.

I've seen three dead bodies today,

and a serial killer tried to kill me.

And you are the worst part of my day.

That's hurtful.

No. You've always been this way.

You cheat, you steal, you let people down.

And you know what?

I have zero fucks left to give when it comes to you!

Harry.

Harry, you don't mean that, right?

Harry.

Harry! God.