All language subtitles for What.we.do.in.the.shadows.S04E08.ION10-KOGI.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu

Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1 ♪♪

BRAN: The sun may have just set,

but we're just getting started.

Which is fitting because we are in the city that never sleeps.

Although, Toby here could use a little more beauty sleep.

- Ouch, Bran. - What?

Uh, we're twins, remember?

Hey, brothers. Can't live with 'em...

Uh, I think you forgot to say, "Can't live without 'em."

- Who says I forgot? - Uh-oh.

Anyway, Bran and I have seen the worst...

- Of the worst... - of home disasters,

but today, we are here in Staten Island...

♪ New York. ♪

Ready to take on the toughest rennovation yet.

- ♪♪ - (HAMMERING)

I'm Bran Daltry.

And I'm Toby Daltry.

And we're...

BOTH: The Daltry Brothers.

And this is...

BOTH: Go Flip Yourself.

BRAN: I'm Bran,

and this knucklehead over here is my brother Toby.

TOBY: Hey.

Now, we may not get along all the time,

but one thing we do agree on

is turning people's dream homes into reality.

♪ I'll make you a believer... ♪

(CRYING)

♪ Get off your knees ♪

♪ You've got the power of being ♪

♪ What you want to be ♪

♪ Make you a believer ♪

(WHISTLING)

(THUD)

NARRATOR: Staten Island, New York.

Home to the world famous Staten Island Ferry,

a blossoming real estate market,

and the Daltry Brothers' toughest challenge yet.

(WHISTLES) Yikes, what a mess.

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, you knucklehead.

Bran, I was talking about the house.

Take a look. You got crumbling statues.

- BRAN: I see them. - TOBY: You got overgrown lawn,

- and... (SNIFFS) - BRAN: Mm-hmm.

What am I smelling? Is that sulfur?

Yeah, I'm getting notes of, uh... (SNIFFS)

decomposing animals. Pee-yew-y.

Yeah, I think someone should call an exterminator, too.

Hey, it's nothing a little brotherly love can't fix,

- so... - BOTH: Whoa.

- Look out. Wow. - What is that?

That is a big bone.

Yeah, I hope the big dog that buried this one

- is a friendly fella. - (BARKING)

Now, the owners of this house have

- no idea that we're here. - Doesn't matter.

They were told to keep the door unlocked,

so that the "power company" could "check the meter."

And y'all know what that means.

BOTH: It's ambush time!

- Come on. - (CACKLING)

Okay.

Who's ready to get down and dirty

and a little bit flirty?

What the (BLEEP)? (BLEEP) (BLEEP)

- Am I on Go Flip Yourself? - Yes, you are.

(LAUGHS)

My name's Laszlo. I'm such a fan.

- My name's Bran. Ah. - I know who you are.

- Initially, the twins aspect... - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- Confused me slightly. - It does a lot of people.

And then I watched three seasons...

- Yeah? - And then I realized that, uh,

- you're both very different. - Sure.

In posture and personality.

BRAN: We need to fix this house.

LASZLO: Tell me about it. I sent my tape in months ago.

NARRATOR: Bran and Toby certainly have their hands full

with the quirky owners and decor

of this mixed-up mansion.

All right, guys, so little bit of a hiccup out the gates.

My brother Toby's a little under the weather,

so he's gonna sit this one out.

I mean, typical Toby, right?

Leaving all the hard work for this guy to do.

But when they saw how down we were

about Toby taking a sick day,

the owners of this house...

And I'm just gonna say this about them...

They are very spiritual people.

They led me and the whole crew on a very special

guided meditation, you know, just...

to re-center us.

And you will forget that Toby is dead,

and that he was murdered by me.

A girl has got to eat.

And, instead, you will think

that he is just temporarily sick. (VOCALIZES)

Hashtag it worked.

So, now... (CHUCKLES)

we got to get back to the task at hand,

and, oh, boy, it's a doozy.

Plus, we just want Toby to be proud of this episode

when he sees it, after he shakes off the mild flu.

_

NARRATOR: When the owners first saw this

8,474-square-foot home,

it was love at first sight.

And that was so long ago, they say

they can't even remember when they first moved in.

But since then, things have changed.

Railroad employee and part-time graphic designer, Laszlo...

I wish I could get this printer to work.

NARRATOR: hates living in this dated house

that lacks adequate storage space for him and his nephew Colin.

(LAUGHS)

Bang!

What have I told you about touching my hat?

- Pow! - LASZLO: To be blunt,

this house is a (BLEEP)hole.

And I think only Bran and Toby are capable

of helping us "embrace our space."

Go on, bugger off.

LASZLO: To quote the brothers themselves, from episode 113,

"Midcentury Mess,"

"This house is all kinds of

Frank Lloyd Wrong."

(LAUGHS)

NARRATOR: Nandor and Marwa are newlyweds with a passion for cooking,

but without enough space

- in their cramped kitchen. - Sorry.

And they can't seem to agree on how to make

their master bedroom their happily ever after.

So, yes, we are technically newlyweds,

but it feels like we've been together forever.

I would describe my style

as French country

meets shabby chic.

And I would describe my style

as French country meets shabby chic.

But I also like modern.

I like to have an indoor sink,

a floor that is not dirt.

Me, too. I like everything that he likes.

So, if he says that we need a change...

Change is not always a good thing.

I mean, sometimes, you make too many changes,

and then, before you know it,

you realize what you thought you wanted

is, in fact, very annoying.

NARRATOR: Guillermo and Nadja have their hands full

running a successful nightclub,

and when they come home to these cramped living quarters...

Where is the (BLEEP) thing?

NARRATOR: tensions can run hot.

The thingy-thing. The thing that controls... (STAMMERS)

- the heat at the nightclub. - GUILLERMO: A thermostat key.

- Right? - NADJA: Yes.

It's on a chain around your neck.

Nice try.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- Whew, this is a big house. - Yeah.

Okay, guys, let's talk about

design options within your budget.

- Great. - Now, here's the question:

How much are you guys comfortable spending

in order to give this old house a...

(WHISTLES) ...facelift?

All of it. All our life's savings.

Whatever you need, you knucklehead.

You're the knucklehead.

- You're the (BLEEP) knucklehead. - Who you calling a knucklehead?

- (LAUGHS) - Look at this. (LAUGHS)

- Where'd you get that shirt? - What?

Where-Where'd you get your shirt?

From a shop. (BLEEP) off.

BRAN: Okay, we're getting a little off track here.

Let's focus, guys, 'cause, clearly,

this living room is not working for anyone.

What the (BLEEP) is that supposed to mean? Some of us

happen to like waterlogged mahogany

and soaking wet pillows that smell of cheese

- and moldy stuffed bears. Thank you. - BRAN: Yeah...

Clearly, we're not nuts about the full-size tree

that fell through the wall. (CHUCKLES)

Left a gigantic hole

where raccoons and squirrels can just come and go

and nest in our furniture, so...

I don't know, I don't mind it.

As you can see, I gave that a bit of a trim

using the Milwaukee M18 Fuel Lithium-Ion chainsaw,

used in your commercials.

"Milwaukee, nothing but heavy duty."

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Home renovations can be an emotional process.

Let's do it.

BRAN: Now, I have to convince the owners that

we're not here to destroy their memories,

we're here to help them make new ones.

♪♪

Okay guys, here what I'm thinking.

And, boom, we knock out all the walls.

Make an open concept first floor.

It's gonna create much better flow and, most importantly,

it's gonna bring in tons of natural light.

- I love it, it's perfect. - BRAN: Thank you.

- I don't think that's perfect. - BRAN: And...

we can also get rid of this dated and awkward storage

and replace it with a master

his-and-hers mega-closet.

- Yeah. - Fantastic.

With custom shelves for all of Nadja's shoes and her doll.

Plus, a dedicated hat wall

with hat racks for all

of Laszlo's dope hats.

That cannot be our house.

You're right, that cannot be our house.

- This fella is the knackers. - Thank you.

Now, let's talk about that unfinished attic.

I think we should reimagine it

as a spacious master suite

slash love nest for Nandor and Marwa.

It doesn't matter how many changes you make to something.

- The novelty eventually wears off. - Mm.

- I agree with my husband. - (SIGHS)

NANDOR: But I do like

that sign about home being where the wine is.

- Okay. There is another option. - MARWA: Me, too.

In this option, you can keep your current bedroom...

- NANDOR: Mm. - And we reimagine the attic

as a dedicated "man cave" for Nandor.

- Man cave? - BRAN: Yeah.

NANDOR: What is a man cave?

Man cave is where you do your man stuff.

So, there are no women allowed in this man cave?

Hey, it's your space up there,

- you do with it what you please. - Great.

Guess what? I hate all of that. That attic

is full of very precious, treasured memories

of us putting all of our trash up there.

Also, we do not need a wall of hat hooks.

Laszlo only has one hat, and it's bloody cursed!

Correction, my darling, I have five hats.

I have the one she's referring to,

which she doesn't like for some unknown reason.

- (GROANS) - It's actually very cool.

- I'm sure it is. - It might be made out of witch skin

and has an asshole on it,

but I look fantastic wearing it.

And another is a yellow ballcap

with the message across it,

- "Absolut Aces..." - Ooh, where'd you get that?

Which was a gift from the 2006 movie premiere of the movie

- BOTH: Smokin' Aces. - You know the film?

- I love it. It's classic. - Well, I've never worn it.

Where you going, Nadja? I got something special for you, too.

Check this out. No home would be complete

without a serene master bath fit for a queen.

I don't care about any of this.

Uh, do you care about a gold toilet?

Bang!

(CLEARS THROAT)

A gold toilet?

Queen's got to have her throne, am I right, guys?

You can't even take a (BLEEP).

I will take a (BLEEP) if I want to take a (BLEEP).

Stop trying to water down my brand. (HISSES)

I've given the owners a lot to think about.

Now it's time to let them talk it over.

I really don't think this kind of public exposure is good for us.

I really think that we should just let these guys

paint a wall or two and get them out of here.

"These guys"?

Bran and Toby are artisans. They're craftspeople.

Toby is dead, okay?

And it's only a matter of time before someone notices.

No, are you not paying attention

to my very comprehensive hypnosis?

And no one watching this footage

will notice that we are vampires.

Not the editors,

not the editors' assistants,

not the sound mixers,

not the, uh...

Who else is there?

Color correctors, current executives,

Standards & Practices occasionally looks at a rough cut.

A producer's girlfriend named Wendy one time gave notes,

and now she gives notes on all the cuts.

- Then there are... - Okay, okay, I get it.

Yes. All of those nerds, too.

Also you will put the bit that I am saying in now

as a flashback and then cut back to the main story

of whatever else is going on.

GUILLERMO: I don't know. I have a really bad feeling about this.

Do you think home really is "where the wine is"?

I want it to be accurate for my man cave.

Yes, I agree.

NANDOR: There's a surprise.

Now, I think we all know what to do.

All right, gang, you've had time to think it over.

And now it's decision time.

Are you ready to "embrace your space"?

Or do you want to tell this son of a B to "go flip off"?

There's just no storage space for me to do my business.

Let me get this... Oh, sorry.

A gold toilet?

I have a really bad feeling about this.

Um...

We've decided to...

ALL THREE: Embrace our space!

Yes! That is music to my ears.

I promise you're gonna love this place

so much more when we're finished with it.

And we're gonna up your curb appeal by re-sodding the lawn

and the backyard

Oh, re-sodding, hey?

Y-You're gonna dig up the-the backyard?

Yeah, I'm an expert at landscaping.

Meanwhile, my brother likes to spend his time...

manscaping.

- Boom! - (LAUGHTER)

I don't know what that means, but (BLEEP) Toby, right?

Yeah, he gets it. All right, what are we doing standing

around here? We've got to get to...

♪ Work. ♪

- Let's go! - Hey! Get to work!

This gang, they keep some pretty unusual hours,

working for the railroad and owning the nightclub.

So we're gonna pull some all-nighters here, you betcha!

Yeah!

Guillermo, go for it!

Yeah, love it!

♪ Hear the thunder... ♪

Yeah! Wow!

♪ Hear the thunder ♪

♪ Can you hear the thunder? ♪

♪ Can you hear the thunder? ♪

♪ Gotta hold your head up ♪

♪ Let it all explode ♪

♪ Hear the thunder ♪

♪ Yeah, the time is now ♪

♪ Give it all you got ♪

♪ Hear the thunder ♪

♪ Until there's nothing left ♪

♪ You've got to let it all go now ♪

♪ Hear the thunder. ♪

- Hey! - Bran!

Wow, man cave really coming together, huh?

- Yes. - I'm almost finished over here,

then moving onto the door, honey.

Don't forget to put the lock on it.

You got it, honey.

Uh, check out this bar.

What?

This is an entertainer's dream.

Nandor, I want you to picture this right now, okay?

The guys are over. They're hanging out.

- Okay, I am picturing it. - Mm-hmm.

I could be over here at the bar counter.

And then one of the guys would come right behind me and...

(GRUNTING)

Yeah, mm-hmm.

We could put a little skylight in the floor there,

and look through it and see Guillermo on the toilet.

Oh, no, we don't need a skylight in the bathroom.

Nonsense, clear sight lines are what buyers are looking for

these days, right, Bran?

Hey, who's the host of this show, this guy or me?

(LAUGHS) I love it.

You know what I also love? Look at this distressed wood.

I mean, it's giving everyone the shabby chic look

that I know that you love...

- Meets French country. - Thank you very much.

And how about the whimsical seating?

Have we talked about it yet? I don't think we have.

- Get down in it, brother. - NANDOR: This?

- That's for you. - No.

- This is your throne. - GUILLERMO: It's not a dog bed?

Give it test spin right now. You're gonna love it.

No, he doesn't really get comfortable so eas...

Here we go.

- Oh! - How perfect is that?

- Pretty perfect, Bran. - Yeah!

NARRATOR: But the project wasn't a smooth ride from beginning to end.

Bran got a call from the City Building Inspector's office

about the permits, and the news was... not good.

No, no, I understand.

It's just that we've done over 150 of these renovations,

and this issue has never come up before.

MALE VOICE: Sir, they don't pay me enough

to fight with you, okay? I'm sorry,

but that's just where the situation currently stands. All right?

So you're just gonna have to take it up with...

- Son of a B! - Sir?

Oh, guys... (GROANS)

I'm so sorry to report this.

But I just got off the phone

with the City Building Inspector's office.

And I've got some bad news.

Bad news?!

♪♪

(GASPS)

I just got off the phone with the City Building Inspector's office.

And I got some bad news.

- Bad news? - I'm afraid so.

Apparently Guillermo's room does not meet the legal requirements

to call it a room. The legal term is

"hidey hole" or a "rat's studio."

That's okay, I really don't mind.

What the (BLEEP) does that mean?

I'll tell you what the F it means, L-Train.

It means that we gotta now reallocate this budget

to get Guillermo's room up to code.

No, no, no. No one needs to make a big fuss.

(BLEEP) his room.

What the (BLEEP) are our options, B-boy?

Well, I love the passion. I'm gonna get on that couch,

and show you what we got, okay?

Open this up, and show you guys what I worked up. Gather in.

Now if we eliminate Nadja's gold toilet...

- (GASPS) Eat (BLEEP)! - Hang on a second.

If we eliminate it, we can open up that wall,

and create a ventilation system for Guillermo.

What the (BLEEP) is this, Club Med?

We need the gold toilet!

Hang on a second, 'cause we're also going to have to...

eliminated Nandor's custom sign that says,

- "Home is where the wine is." - Get (BLEEP)!

Because can then close the open septic tank,

which apparently is pooling underneath Guillermo's bed.

Well, I guess if there's no other way...

NARRATOR: And finally even grouchy Guillermo was grinning.

Meanwhile, Marwa's got a surprise

that even I haven't seen yet.

NARRATOR: Only midway through renovations,

but Marwa was working around the clock.

You think he's ready?

- You ready? - Ready.

Let's do it.

And voilà!

(CHUCKLING): Okay, all right.

- Wow. - Wow!

BRAN: Wow, wow.

Are you looking at this?

Incredible.

- Wow. - BRAN: Tiny plant, hello.

Look at this, decorative balls?

- You can't go wrong with those. - NANDOR: I love balls.

- I love balls, too. - BRAN: I love balls, too.

And who wants to belly up to the bar?

Saddle up, giddy up! Let's get up to the bar.

- NANDOR: John would've loved those. - Right.

I love how the colors

on the rug are just playing with the new hardwoods,

And then look at the hoop right there.

NANDOR: Oh, wow, my own court.

Do you like it, honey?

Do I like it?

I really love it.

- Yes! - I think it's so great!

Wait! Before you sit down,

let me make sure that the beans

are in the optimal position for you.

- Perfect. - Can you...

make sure I did a good job on the door?

I put a special lock on there for you,

because I know how much you love your alone time.

Looks pretty good to me.

The chevron pattern and the wood grain on this thing,

it's just beautiful.

- Okay. - (CLICKS)

I see you are trying out the, uh, the lock action.

It's, uh...

- Marwa? - It's soundproof, too.

You know, Bran, there was a time

me and Marwa, we liked very different things.

- Mm-hmm. - But then I made a wish

that we would like the same things.

Now I think that wish has come true.

I also think perhaps that

Marwa has been building this man cave for herself.

Yeah.

♪♪

Down to the wire.

Crew is in there...

We're putting the finishing touches on the house

for the big reveal, and I cannot wait

to show the owners

their forever home.

All right, you knuckleheads, are you ready

to find out if this house is a flip

or if it's gonna be a flub?

- (WHOOPS) - We're ready to flip.

- It's gonna be a flip. - It's gonna be a flip.

All right, everyone... remove your blindfolds!

♪♪

That is not our house.

That is not our house

You're looking the wrong way, that's our neighbor's house.

- This way. - Oh, right, got ya.

Well?

- NANDOR: Hmm. - This looks... the same.

All right, guys, what are we waiting for?

Let's get inside and bam, bam, bam!

- Let's do it. - (LASZLO LAUGHS)

- BRAN: Let's go! Let's go! - (NADJA WHOOPS)

Come on in, and check out

your brand new dream home!

Yeah!

Everybody grab a figurative straw and drink it in.

Right?

I'm speechless myself, gang.

Guys, get in the nooks and crannies. Check it out!

♪♪

Ew...

Huh?

Wait, I thought you said you were going to completely...

Bran, I'm starting to think that this flip might be a flub.

What the (BLEEP)?!

There's still sewage under my bed.

That was a permitting issue.

There's still a tree in the (BLEEP) fancy room!

Give my Bran boy a chance.

What are you talking about?! This was his chance!

Guys, we're not finished yet.

'Cause the ol' Bran man

saved the best for last.

Follow me. Come on, gang.

You know, I might move in, I love this place so much.

Ready?

I'm gonna welcome you to your brand-new

walk-in closet.

- (BLEEP) - Yeah!

♪ This is our home ♪

♪ Yet something has changed ♪

♪ Always never known... ♪

LASZLO: This really is the knackers.

- Come here. - Bring it in. Ooh!

BOTH: Someone's excited. (LAUGHING)

Wait a second, I thought this was supposed to be

a "his-and-hers" closet?

Change of plans, sweetie. Live with it.

- What the (BLEEP)? - LASZLO: Hold on a second.

Where the (BLEEP) is my witch's skin hat?

NADJA: Who gives a (BLEEP)?

You mean this witch's skin hat?

Oh! Ha-ha!

Simon the Devious, I knew it was you.

- You bastard. - No, you didn't.

GUILLERMO: Oh, (BLEEP).

Bran, do something.

(BRAN'S VOICE): What do you want me to do, ya knuckleheads?

- That's clever. - I was talking to Bran.

You idiot, I am Bran.

What have you done with Bran?

Bran never existed.

It's always been me.

- (NADJA GASPS) - So you mean...?

Yes.

- You...? - Did I create, pitch, sell

and produce 150 episodes of Go Flip Yourself

for the sole purpose of regaining access

to your home here in New York City

that I might take what is rightfully mine,

this witch's clit of a hat?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

What, all those episodes, all those marathons,

all those bedsheet sets

in the Daltry Brothers' Daltry Living line?

Yes, it was all me.

Well, we partnered with Kohl's for the Daltry Living line.

- Sellout! - But the rest of it, all me.

(LAUGHS)

All that just for stealing my hat?

- Yes. - NADJA: Wow. (BLEEP) hell!

Well, I had a little help from my friends.

(CHUCKLES) You remember my crew?

Big Vlad. Blavglad the Exsanguinator.

- LASZLO: Oh, these pricks. - Gunthrapple.

Wesley Sikes.

The Freak Sisters. Mr. '50s.

Evil Steve.

The wickedly talented Adele Dazeem.

- LASZLO: Hello there. - Freakfest Tony.

Hi, Tony, nice to see you again.

- The Silent One. - Hey, guys, how's it going?

Just gonna keep it silent for now, thank you.

He Who Shall Not Be Named... but it's Greg.

His name is Greg.

Desdemona the Shrieker.

- (SHRIEKING) - (ALL CLAMORING)

That guy I still don't know.

And of course, the king himself,

Elvis.

Yeah, I always pretty good with a hammer.

- Not very good with friendship. - NADJA: Traitor!

Ronaldo the Elder.

There he is, and who could forget

Ken the Zombie of my Former Accountant.

Yes, he's also

the COO of my production company.

And of course, my sound guy...

Count Rapula.

- No... - Oh, not this guy...

(COUNT RAPULA VOCALIZING)

♪ Hey, yo, I arose from my tomb ♪

♪ With three lavs and a boom ♪

♪ And when you think you're alone ♪

♪ I'm in your home ♪

♪ Getting room tone ♪

- No. No! - ♪ Scary stories and fables ♪

- ♪ And XLR cables, my... ♪ - Okay, very good.

Thank you, Count Rapula. I think we all get it.

Well, I killed Toby.

So looks like one of your crew is dead.

Well, actually, Toby wasn't one of our crew.

He was a regular guy.

He was a Navy flight instructor

with... I want to say three?

- Three children without a father. - NANDOR: Sad.

SIMON: Well done!

Took me a while to get to know him, earn his trust.

And then I pitched him the show.

And then I paid for him to study

design, architecture,

- and construction skills. - GUILLERMO: Wait.

Why didn't you just find someone who already knew how to build houses?

'Cause for a show like this, it's all about "it factor."

You really are the most devious bastard

in New York City.

Well, we're not in New York City.

We're in (BLEEP) Staten Island.

- (HISSING) - Which means you're not worth (BLEEP).

You come in here, you pinch my hat, you destroy my house

and you con me into spending $2,000 on these poufs.

- 2,000...? - I like the poufs.

Does no one like the poufs?

I don't mind the poufs.

You see, you're a dickhead 'cause you've just shown your face

on screen, which means this episode, Brainiac,

- cannot be televised. - (SIMON SCOFFS)

Do you have any ideas who my viewers are?

They're people in airports and hospital waiting rooms.

I once showed a gaping, open asshole

for ten seconds,

and I never heard a word about it.

LASZLO: Yes. it was Episode 73, "Ramshackle Ranch," I do believe.

- You really watch the show. - I do, yes.

- Oh, that means the world to me. - Who cares?

Anyway, I've got your witch's hat,

and I've got signed release forms from each of you,

so you can expect to see this episode

airing around the clock about two years from now.

- (HISSES) - All right, let's roll, crew!

- (NADJA SHOUTING) - LASZLO: Whoa!

Get away!

- Go on! - (GLASS SHATTERS)

Later, losers.

Ow! (BLEEP) me!

- Stupid prick can't even fly. - NADJA: It's the (BLEEP) hat.

It's not the hat.

Reckon that hat's got some bad hoodoo in it, huh?

There's nothing wrong with the hat, Elvis!

Later, losers... ow! (BLEEP)

BRAN: And that's a wrap on the Mixed-Up Mansion.

Hello? You can go, too.

BRAN: The job wasn't easy, but the owners couldn't be happier.

I can't believe he came back for that.

- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - What are you doing?

You got what you want.

- (BLEEP) off. - This (BLEEP) is disgusting!

CAMERA OPERATOR: Okay, but we still need to get the pre-credits button.

What makes you think we give a (BLEEP)

about the pre-credits button?

CAMERA OPERATOR: It's just, if you don't, you won't get

your full payment for the episode.

I think it comes out to, like, $1,200.

- Oh, is it? - Ooh, not too shabby.

NADJA: What I will just say

is that now that Laszlo's cursed hat is finally gone,

the fire that's always going on in the boiler room has gone out.

Yes!

And the sewage flooding in the basement has dried up somewhat.

NANDOR: Thank you, Go Flip Yourself.

And I'm pleased to report the raccoons have stopped (BLEEP)

under the sofa.

Well... most of them have.

(RACCOONS CHITTERING)

(LAUGHTER)

NARRATOR: On the next Go Flip Yourself,

Bran takes on his toughest challenge yet.

And the electric stove top wasn't really

working for you, was it Amanda?

- I mean, it worked. - And that's why all

the real restaurant chefs... Say it with me...

BOTH: only cook with gas.

Yeah! All right, let's fire

this baby up and make some

of your world-famous spaghetti, huh?

- Let's do it. - Let's do it!

♪ I'll make you a believer ♪

♪ Get off your knees ♪

♪ You got the power to be ♪

♪ What you want to be ♪

♪ Make you a believer ♪

♪ Make you a believer. ♪

BRAN AND TOBY: Go Flip Yourself.

- Synced & corrected by L0tech - -- www.MY-SUBS.com --

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.