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(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) Oh, oh, oh,
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oh!
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So beautiful!
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My God, Prudence!
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What have you got in here?
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Oh, just a few little things.
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Welcome to Cotton Tail.
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I'm Flower, the owner, and this is Ginger
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my recreational director.
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Hello.
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Hi, I'm Prudence and Veruca, and these are
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my friends, Mike.
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We have a reservation.
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Right.
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You're the Bigfoot hunters.
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We have your rooms ready.
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Oh my God, how did you know?
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I was keeping that like a super secret.
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Which means it's probably in the newspapers already.
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Prudence is incapable of lying.
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That's why we love her.
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Well, just promise me that whatever it is
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out there, you're not going to hurt it.
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We adhere to a strict policy of not
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harming any creatures while living in harmony with
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nature.
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That's so beautiful.
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While living as nature created us, unclothed and
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unashamed.
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Wait, so we all have to be naked?
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Because that's cool for me.
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I just don't know about my friends.
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Oh, Mike.
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You have so much to share.
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Stop being so shy and lose your laundry.
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He is so hot when he acts shy
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like that.
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Does he remind you of your first love?
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He looks just like Uncle Joe.
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Tell you what, since Mike is obviously a
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bit bashful, let's let him work up to
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it.
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Wait a minute.
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You're the girl on the news who saw
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Bigfoot.
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Yeah, but I really wish I kept it
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to myself.
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Can you take us to where it happened?
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Maybe we can find some physical evidence of
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it.
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We need evidence to help us support the
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sighting.
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I told you he's so smart.
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I can't imagine why he didn't graduate.
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Ginger will show you, and I'll loan you
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ladies a few wraps until Mike makes himself
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more comfortable.
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I'll go grab some stuff, and then we
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can go on up to the lake.
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I was so scared to go back by
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myself, but it seems I manifested what I
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needed.
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Looks like you're going to be losing your
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pants sooner than you thought.
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Wow.
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I found hair samples, and this is amazing.
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Oh my goodness.
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Footprints.
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Veruca, look at these.
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I'll take your word for it.
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This is enough country living for me right
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here.
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You are such a city girl.
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Hey, my MP3 player was in here, and
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my camera was in there, and it's missing
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too.
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Maybe he thought they were food and took
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them someplace else.
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Oh my goodness.
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Guys, look.
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The tracks are headed off that way.
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We should follow them.
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It might be safer if I follow them.
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Why don't you just stay here and collect
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some more evidence?
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And I'll go with you.
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It's easy to get lost, and I know
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the way.
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Okay, guys, but meet us back at the
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house in two hours, then we can compare
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notes.
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Yeah, I may need some, and if you
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find any lumberjacks, whistle!
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At this rate, I'll be writing my own
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blog in the third person.
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I really have to pee.
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Don't look at me.
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Oh, man, these are new boots!
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Come on!
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My eyes are on fire!
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Mom, I surrendered!
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You guys usually greet people by urinating on
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them and pepper-spraying them?
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Well, I don't know what you think you're
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doing, just sneaking up on people like that.
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I'd start explaining if I were you.
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This is a super-sized can of mace.
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My name's Dr. Dirk Desjardins.
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I'm one of the world's foremost researchers on
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the subject of Sasquatch.
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Or, as you novices would refer to him,
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Bigfoot.
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We're not novices.
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I have, like, 75% of a degree
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in cryptozoology, you know.
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Congratulations.
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For the last two days, I've been squatting
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in the bush, feeding off twigs and berries,
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living as Bigfoot would live.
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And smelling like Bigfoot would smell.
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Well, that is kind of my fault.
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Dirk?
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Dirk!
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Oh, my goodness.
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I've read one of your books on Bigfoot
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before.
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It was really quite impressive.
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Yeah, I know.
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But it's Dr. Dirk.
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Thank you.
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Yes, over the last two days, I have
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established that there definitely is a gigantopithecus americanus,
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a.k.a. Bigfoot, living in this area.
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Now, have you almost college graduates discovered a
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shred of useful information?
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Well, we've only had a few minutes here,
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but by the nature of the footprints compared
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to the depth of those of my own,
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I've ascertained that the creature weighs between 300
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to 350 pounds.
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And gauging by the broken branches in the
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surrounding area, I'm estimating a creature of approximately
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7 feet or 2.36 meters.
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Now, the radius of the recent sightings surround
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this area, and so it means that either
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the creature has been displaced through an interruption
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of its natural food source and habitat, or
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that it is a newly matured male seeking
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a new territory, or that it is in
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search of unattached females.
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Though, that behavior would be more consistent in
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bears or some other non-primate species.
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It would be presumptuous to assign standard primate
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behavior to a virtually unknown species.
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Is that all?
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The Bigfoot droppings we found might yield some
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important data.
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Feces?
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You found feces where?
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Ah!
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God damn it!
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Look, Dirk, please, maybe we can just work
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together on this.
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I just really want to get the perfect
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photo so that I can graduate.
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Well, maybe we could work out some kind
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of deal.
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Yes!
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Perfect!
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Perfect!
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Come on, we don't have a tiny little
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second to waste.
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Well, considering we're going to be spending so
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much time together, perhaps you ladies could benefit
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from a little Dirk worldly expertise.
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You smell like cat pee.
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Is that a yes?
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Dirk speaking.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm alone.
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No, no, everything's going according to plan.
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But there is one small complication.
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Well, there's just some amateurs here trying to
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get some photos.
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But no, no, it won't affect the plan.
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I'll just say that Bigfoot was going to
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harm the women and I was forced to
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kill it.
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Thus, avoiding any negative PR, of course.
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Could you hold on a second, please?
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Could you hold it down, please?
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I'm on the phone.
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Water.
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Water, please.
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Just to clarify, are you absolutely sure you
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want him dead?
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Those Tibetan legends about its glands being the
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ultimate male elixir have never been proven.
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Well, if your client's willing to pay, so
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be it.
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But our deal still stands though, right?
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Great.
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Okay, I'll contact you when I need transportation.
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Out.
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A million bucks for the body of Bigfoot.
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Just so some old fart can have a
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permanent heart on.
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You're a rich man.
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Something wrong?
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The cards keep showing negativity hanging over us
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as if something doesn't mean well.
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You do have a giant monster in your
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backyard.
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He doesn't mean us any harm.
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I meditated on him for hours and I
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think he's just lost or lonely or something.
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You know, I keep having this vision of
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him staring up into the sky.
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He's not dangerous.
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I think he's just sad.
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Well, there's no point mulling over it.
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We just shuffle the cards and whatever will
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be, will be.
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Wow, I love your zen attitude in life.
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Maybe that's because I was raised by hippies.
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I was always taught to focus on the
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positive and just enjoy what life has to
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offer.
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Well, you're in the right place.
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It's so peaceful here and, I mean, you
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really have nothing to worry about here.
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Yeah, I grew up here.
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My parents used to run the center and
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now I just want to live by their
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principles of life and create somewhere that people
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can go and forget the pressures of the
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world.
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You got my vote.
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Let's see what the cards say about you.
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Uh-oh.
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Don't believe everything you see.
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The cards never lie.
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Interesting.
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I see...
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loyalty and friendship.
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You must be someone your friends can really
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count on.
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But that's obvious, considering Prudence adores you.
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Well, she's a gift.
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I also see...
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creativity and passion.
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And you have a secret.
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Oh my god, you're good.
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But, I mean, it's not really a secret.
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I write a blog under the name Salome
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and, well, it's about my personal experiences.
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You're Salome?
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I love reading your blog.
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It gets so lonely out here in the
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country sometimes.
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I just need some vicarious thrills.
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You know, one can't live on tarot cards
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and yoga alone.
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Well, why live vicariously when I'm right here
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in the flesh?
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Wait.
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Oh my god, what was that?
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There's something out there.
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What do we do?
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The handcuffs?
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Unlock the handcuffs.
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I don't know what I did with the
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keys.
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Oh my god, look at the size of
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that thing.
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And he's tall too.
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That is such a male macho dominant thing
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to do.
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Waving your genitals around, trying to intimidate everyone.
279
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:36,830
You should be ashamed of yourself.
280
00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:41,810
Oh my god, that was terrifying.
281
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:46,530
The power's mysteriously gone out.
282
00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:47,810
I must investigate.
283
00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:49,970
Save the girls.
284
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,030
What is that?
285
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,390
I know that Bigfoot might be related to
286
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:55,730
this.
287
00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:56,590
Ladies?
288
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,170
Are you okay?
289
00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,470
Oh, fuck.
290
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:01,930
Goddamn balls.
291
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,370
Holy screw shit.
292
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:06,830
Look at that.
293
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:08,070
Sorry.
294
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:17,750
Hello.
295
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,550
It's nice to meet you.
296
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:33,560
Goodbye.
297
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,780
Oh my god, hun, are you okay?
298
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:44,760
Are you kidding?
299
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,780
This is amazing.
300
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,760
It's only been like one night and I
301
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,740
got to see Bigfoot.
302
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:49,920
I guess.
303
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:50,640
Yeah, you're right.
304
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:52,820
I mean, I've already seen way too much
305
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:53,520
of Bigfoot.
306
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:56,920
What happened?
307
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:58,180
What'd you see?
308
00:19:59,100 --> 00:19:59,520
Anything?
309
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,480
Come on, talk to me.
310
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,760
I didn't get anything except a bump on
311
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,080
the head.
312
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:05,900
Dork, did you get anything?
313
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,300
It's Dirk, thank you.
314
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,400
Let's look.
315
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:12,920
We got some good stuff here.
316
00:20:20,730 --> 00:20:24,170
Oh yeah, you shower up real good, baby.
317
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,590
I knew that tree looked familiar.
318
00:20:27,230 --> 00:20:29,030
How long have you been spying on us?
319
00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:30,990
Just two days.
320
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,890
I was just trying to establish a behavior
321
00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:33,270
pattern.
322
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,970
It's an accepted scientific practice, not some kind
323
00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:36,790
of perverted voyeurism.
324
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,250
Oh yeah, baby.
325
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:42,270
You shower up real good now.
326
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,720
Well, at least we captured the sounds of
327
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,000
Bigfoot.
328
00:20:58,060 --> 00:20:58,900
At least that's something.
329
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,020
Well, somehow it managed to switch the main
330
00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:01,680
power off.
331
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,060
I think by accident.
332
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,580
But here's the weird thing.
333
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:06,600
My laptop is missing and a bunch of
334
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,440
other small electronics from the front desk.
335
00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:09,840
And I can't explain that.
336
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:12,240
Well, maybe he's just curious about man-made
337
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:12,660
things.
338
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,920
And another weird thing is all my panties
339
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:16,320
are missing.
340
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,280
Do you suppose Bigfoot wanted those too?
341
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,560
Um...
342
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,200
Panties.
343
00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:27,190
Panties.
344
00:21:27,510 --> 00:21:28,190
Oh my God!
345
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:30,970
I'll get those back to you.
346
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:32,990
I don't want them after you had your
347
00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:34,670
nasty puzzle over them.
348
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:36,990
It was in the name of science, Ginger.
349
00:21:37,610 --> 00:21:38,210
Pervert!
350
00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:39,870
Okay, enough.
351
00:21:43,090 --> 00:21:45,230
Let's just focus on the situation.
352
00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:48,430
Maybe the creature is just as curious about
353
00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:50,050
us as we are about it.
354
00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:51,750
Mike's right.
355
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:54,310
Let's just all get some rest and we'll
356
00:21:54,310 --> 00:21:55,530
figure this out in the morning.
357
00:21:55,950 --> 00:21:57,210
I think we should all stay in the
358
00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:57,710
same room.
359
00:21:58,070 --> 00:21:59,030
For safety.
360
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:01,490
Yes, that's a fine idea, Michael.
361
00:22:01,790 --> 00:22:03,730
Sleep in the same room with him?
362
00:22:04,470 --> 00:22:06,130
I'd sooner kiss Bigfoot.
363
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:07,430
I can arrange that.
364
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:11,290
Fine!
365
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:17,250
I'll sleep solo.
366
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:20,130
Now, if none of you mind, I'd like
367
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,530
to take a little dip to unwind.
368
00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:27,550
Look, given some of the recent developments, perhaps
369
00:22:27,550 --> 00:22:28,990
we should go for a non-naturist dress
370
00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:30,990
code, just for people's personal comfort.
371
00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:36,530
That means shorts on for you, Herbo.
372
00:22:37,050 --> 00:22:37,490
Oh!
373
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:38,630
Fine!
374
00:22:38,910 --> 00:22:39,530
No problem!
375
00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:41,890
I'll keep an eye for you guys outside.
376
00:22:42,690 --> 00:22:43,050
Oh!
377
00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:49,470
Oh!
378
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,180
Good morning!
379
00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,140
Good morning, girls!
380
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,920
It's so beautiful out here!
381
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,840
Yeah, but I'm starting to yearn for the
382
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,080
little town.
23861
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