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[* "Boulevard" by
Jackson Browne playing]
2
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,393
* Down on the boulevard
they take it hard... *
3
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,327
[announcer] [on loudspeaker]
It's a beautiful day
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00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:31,197
here at Velvety
Canned Cheese Park.
5
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,901
Velvety Canned Cheese:
making your cheese a breeze.
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00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,621
Good morning, everybody.
7
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,639
Get you some canned cheese.
8
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,775
That hat is too great.
9
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,476
I love it, you girls.
10
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,443
[crowd cheering]
11
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,080
* But if you choose to stay *
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00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,982
* You end up playing anyway *
13
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:51,316
[announcer]
And here come our boys now.
14
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:56,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
your Montgomery Cheesemongers!
15
00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:00,060
And on the mound,
Montgomery's own hometown hero,
16
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,696
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
17
00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:08,167
* And you know
the kid's in shock *
18
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,437
* Up and down the block *
19
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,573
Get 'em, Rocket!
Mow 'em down!
20
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:16,503
These rat bastards
can't handle the heat, Russ!
21
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,811
Blast off!
22
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,214
[crowd cheering]
23
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,253
[crowd groaning]
24
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,324
[crowd] Oh!
25
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,460
[spectator]
Come on!
26
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,364
Shake it off, Rocket!
You still got it!
27
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:40,233
Just warming up, Russ,
just warming up!
28
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,702
[crowd cheering]
29
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,827
-[spectator] Ah, shit.
-[cheering dies down]
30
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,415
[crowd boos]
31
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,703
[crowd jeering]
32
00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:06,392
[player]
It's a fucking embarrassment.
33
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,260
[player 2] I never even seen
nothin' like it, man.
34
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,596
Never gonna win again.
Never getting laid again.
35
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,517
Twenty-nine straight losses!
36
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,734
Twenty-nine!
37
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,169
We're like the goddamn
Bad News Bears!
38
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,837
Actually,
the Bad News Bears
39
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,906
had one good pitcher
and one good hitter.
40
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,577
So unless Tatum O'Neal walks
through that door, we're worse.
41
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,695
Russ.
42
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,450
Russ?
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00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,085
Are we drinking?
44
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,520
Right behind you.
45
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,134
Hey.
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00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:52,005
-Brought you some soup.
-Oh.
47
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,341
-Thank you, Lucille.
-Mm-hmm.
48
00:03:00,673 --> 00:03:04,183
Well, I just wanted you
to know that
49
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,087
you will always have
a home here
50
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,457
at Velvety
Canned Cheese Park.
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00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,327
You're part of the family
no matter what.
52
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,396
Thanks.
53
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,368
And with Sal retiring
next season,
54
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,471
we're going to need
a new head groundskeeper.
55
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,243
Oh, dang.
Oh, did Skip not...
56
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,911
-Oh.
-[Skip] Uh...
57
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,546
I was just, um,
58
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,744
working up the nerve
to tell you.
59
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:38,667
GM called.
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00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,422
Organization's going
to let you go.
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00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:44,758
That's it?
62
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,908
I'm done?
63
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,761
Russ, I'm sorry.
64
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:51,498
It's just... time.
65
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:56,169
* Well, I tried
to make it Sunday *
66
00:03:56,269 --> 00:04:00,206
* But I got
so damn depressed *
67
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,741
* That I set my sights... *
68
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,309
Oh, so that's it, huh?
69
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,745
Yep. They're giving me
one more start,
70
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,514
then off to the pasture.
71
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:08,915
Goddamn.
72
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,082
It's not fair, Rocket.
73
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,217
It's too damn fair.
74
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,385
That's what hurts.
75
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,687
If I still had my heat,
that'd be something else.
76
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,089
You still have that
100-mile-an-hour fastball
77
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,258
left in you, Russ.
78
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,693
Yeah, you'll get it back.
79
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,695
Nah, it's gone.
80
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,131
Skip's right.
Maybe it's just time.
81
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,668
Rocket, fellas,
drinks are on me.
82
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,818
Oh.
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00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:30,869
Look at that!
84
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,100
I actually won 200 bucks
betting on you guys
85
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,874
losing back-to-back games.
86
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,676
Figured I owed you, so...
87
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,794
Hey, enjoy.
88
00:04:38,858 --> 00:04:41,580
Does anybody got
any decent work
89
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,031
lined up
for the off season?
90
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,517
[Carl] Not yet.
91
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,319
They still got
the classified ads in the newspapers?
92
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,321
I don't think they
still have newspapers.
93
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:54,027
Vegas odds of us losing our
next five games is 22 to one?
94
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,762
-Hmm.
-[Hunter] So?
95
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,912
So?
96
00:04:56,913 --> 00:05:00,399
If our so-called fans
could make money
97
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,135
off how bad we are,
98
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,570
why can't we?
99
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,474
Isn't players gambling
on games illegal?
100
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,442
It's more than illegal, Goose.
It's sacrilege.
101
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:14,647
And if anybody even heard
that we were discussing this,
102
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,684
forget the show,
we'd all be banned for life.
103
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,520
Lew, you're a 32-year-old
bush league catcher
104
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,722
with a career
batting average of 220.
105
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,124
I hate to break it to you,
but you ain't making the show.
106
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,259
Neither are you.
107
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,094
I know.
None of us are.
108
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,395
I mean,
we can't beat time.
109
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,364
So what do we do?
110
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,100
Okay, we got five games
111
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,901
between now
and my last start, right?
112
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,937
If someone was
to bet a parlay
113
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,939
on us losing all five games,
114
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,374
for any dollar they put in,
115
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,210
that someone
would get 22 back.
116
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,612
And that someone is us.
117
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,913
-Right?
-Oh, my God.
118
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,381
Thank you, Carl.
119
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,316
Okay, look,
we pool together
120
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,784
all the money we could get
our hands on, right?
121
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,354
Life savings,
second mortgages, whatever.
122
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,122
Then we bet on ourselves.
123
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,591
I mean, if we could get,
like, 100K,
124
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,795
we're talking, like,
two million in return, huh?
125
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:02,895
Are we in?
126
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:03,762
I'm in.
127
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,233
* Will you meet me
in the air? *
128
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,303
* Will you love me
just a little? *
129
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,807
* Just enough
to show you care *
130
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,875
* Well, I tried... *
131
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,025
If I sell the camper,
132
00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:18,377
I can get, like,
15, 20 grand.
133
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,679
-Ha-ha!
-Let's go!
134
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,196
Attaboy.
135
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,149
[crowd cheering]
136
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,519
[* upbeat music playing]
137
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,795
Cheesemongers lose
to the Honeys
138
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,731
12 to 0.
139
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:42,202
Cheesemongers lose again
11 to one.
140
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,372
On the bright side,
Velvety Canned Cheese
141
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,307
does help
to drown the sorrow
142
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,776
of this punishing
losing streak.
143
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,112
Mm-mm-mm.
144
00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:53,112
[umpire]
Safe!
145
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,449
[announcer] Cheesemongers
lose 13 to three.
146
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,118
Mm.
147
00:06:58,119 --> 00:06:59,685
Someone take this away
from me,
148
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,286
but just know
I'ma put up a fight.
149
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,590
[crowd cheering]
150
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,531
[crowd boos]
151
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,300
[announcer] Cheesemongers
keep it within 10 runs,
152
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,703
losing 14 to five.
153
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,004
Let's go.
154
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:22,808
Another Cheesemonger loss
would make for 34 straight,
155
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:26,746
breaking a minor league record
that stood since 1951.
156
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,382
Russ, as today's
starting pitcher,
157
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,684
how are you dealing
with the pressure?
158
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,485
Well, I'm just grateful
I'm the one
159
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,656
who's taking the mound
for us today.
160
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,424
Oh, Russ,
161
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,574
seems like, uh,
162
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,694
I bear nothing
but bad news these days.
163
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,111
Front office promoted
a kid from rookie ball,
164
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,499
Felix Domingo.
165
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,730
And they want him
to start.
166
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,638
Skip, this is
my last start.
167
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,873
You said I could have this.
What the fuck?
168
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,842
I'm sorry, Russ.
169
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,646
-Hey, Skip. Hi.
-[Skip] Lew.
170
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,517
I borrowed eight grand
from a guy named, no joke,
171
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,820
Shady "The Kneecapper" McGee.
172
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,522
If this Felix kid is
any good, we're screwed!
173
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,256
[Russ]
Hey, settle down, alright?
174
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,559
Let me see what's what.
175
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,370
Hey. Welcome to the club.
176
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,406
Oh, my God,
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
177
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,308
Oh, my God, man,
it's really you.
178
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,509
You know who I am?
179
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,478
Yeah, of course, man.
180
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,381
Actually, when I was a kid,
my brother and I,
181
00:08:34,382 --> 00:08:35,914
we tried buying up
all your rookie cards.
182
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,952
[chuckles] You know,
100-mile-an-hour fastball,
183
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,102
crazy movement.
184
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,321
We thought you were
going to be like the next Roger Clemens.
185
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,157
Yeah.
Well, time gets us all.
186
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,559
-What's that?
-Oh, this?
187
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,129
Yeah, it's actually
pretty cool.
188
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,363
So it's a barometer.
189
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,198
My curves usually borderline
190
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,399
in most altitudes, right?
191
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,700
But with the lower
elevation here,
192
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,235
I feel like I can get
a good break going.
193
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,556
Okay, that's one approach.
194
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,805
Yeah, for sure.
195
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,273
-You want a dip?
-Nope.
196
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,708
Sorry, I...
197
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,811
got my own. [chuckles]
198
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:05,811
Yeah.
199
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,680
Yeah, anyway,
I always like to scout
200
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,449
the ballpark
before I pitch.
201
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,451
Wind conditions,
field conditions.
202
00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:13,085
There's always
something I can use.
203
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,136
You know that.
204
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,757
Honor to meet you,
but I should warm up
205
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,291
if I'm gonna stop
this losing streak.
206
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,161
[chuckles]
207
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,461
You're a fuckin' legend.
208
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,863
-I just...
-Okay.
209
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,565
-Alright, good luck out there.
-[Felix] Thank you, man.
210
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,868
-So?
-Well, I don't think he's much,
211
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,018
but still, we can't
leave this to chance.
212
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,773
I say we jump
the bastard right now, go for the elbow.
213
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,674
[Russ] We don't need
to hurt the kid, okay?
214
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,210
Just get him out
of the game.
215
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,578
[Petey whistles]
216
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,146
Hey, go get 'em, Petey!
217
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,748
That's it.
218
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,518
Hey, don't worry,
I got an idea.
219
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,986
I'll see you on the field.
220
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,623
If we're getting
$3.1 million
221
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,474
and we're splitting it
five ways,
222
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:53,992
then 5% going
to our front man,
223
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,496
how much money does
that leave me exactly?
224
00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:58,030
I hate this type
of math, dude.
225
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,965
We'll take care of it
afterwards, alright?
226
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,700
Right now, I just need you
to keep your head in the game
227
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,870
so we can lose it, okay?
228
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:04,837
Okay?
229
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,639
Let's get asses kicked, huh?
230
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,009
[* cheery organ music playing]
231
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,814
I've been noticing a slight
numbness in my right arm,
232
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,648
and I'm wondering
if it's related to all
233
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,879
the Velvety Canned Cheese
I've been eating.
234
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,854
Is anyone else
experiencing this?
235
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,124
If so, please come see me
in the announcer booth.
236
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,327
Taking the mound
for the first time with the 'Mongers
237
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,529
is Felix Domingo,
238
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,798
just promoted
from rookie ball.
239
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,733
Let's see if he
can snap the team
240
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:37,170
out of its incredibly
dispiriting historic skid.
241
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,206
[crowd cheering]
242
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,474
There you are.
243
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,176
What'd you do?
244
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:46,612
Scored some acid from one
of the hippie vendor dudes,
245
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,281
spiked the kid's gum.
246
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,849
It should kick in any minute.
247
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,053
You Dock Ellis'd him?
248
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,121
I what?
249
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,158
Dock Ellis,
Pittsburgh Pirates, 1970.
250
00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:00,492
He dropped acid 'cause he
thought it was his day off,
251
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,228
but then he had to pitch.
252
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,295
Yeah. [chuckles]
253
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,398
I Dock Ellis'd
the shit out of him.
254
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,334
[Russ]
No, you dumbass.
255
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,935
Once the LSD kicked in,
256
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,904
his game went to
a whole other level.
257
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,908
[* suspenseful,
mystical music playing]
258
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,312
He threw a no-hitter.
259
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,284
-[umpire] Strike!
-[crowd cheering]
260
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,856
Oh, shit.
261
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,458
[groans]
262
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,994
[* spiritual string music
playing]
263
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,266
-Strike!
-[crowd cheering]
264
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,208
[umpire] Strike!
265
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,261
Strike!
266
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,054
Strike! You're out!
267
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,026
**
268
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,465
I seem to have stopped
seeing the color green?
269
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,700
It's weird.
270
00:12:13,701 --> 00:12:15,501
All the other colors
are still present
271
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,770
in my field of vision,
272
00:12:16,771 --> 00:12:18,037
but the grass,
for instance,
273
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,674
has taken on
a kind of gray pallor.
274
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,843
I have stopped eating
the Velvety Canned Cheese.
275
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,045
But if there is a medical
doctor in attendance
276
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,748
and you'd be open
to stopping by,
277
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,184
I don't think
that'd be the worst idea.
278
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:34,086
Well, folks,
we've got ourselves
279
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,656
an old-fashioned
pitcher's duel.
280
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,958
Still zero-zero
here in the ninth.
281
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,095
Can the unorthodox
young Felix Domingo
282
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,532
continue his dominant
debut performance?
283
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,267
Hey, pal.
284
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,702
-Bunt.
-What?
285
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,170
And don't stop running.
286
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,320
Trust me.
287
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,209
I'm going to humble
the new kid.
288
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,182
[announcer] First pitch
of the ninth underway.
289
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,052
And it's a bunt.
290
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,822
Dundee fields
what should be an easy out
291
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,224
and... throws it
into the outfield?
292
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,374
Come on, Carl.
293
00:13:12,454 --> 00:13:15,094
[announcer] Sandberg trips
294
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,864
and throws the ball
into the ground.
295
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,269
Jackson picks up the ball-
no, he muffs it.
296
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,072
-Safe!
-[Creeley] Ah!
297
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,273
Oh, shit!
298
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,909
-Ah.
-Dammit!
299
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,479
[crowd boos]
300
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,080
Shit!
301
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,251
-Damn it!
-Play better!
302
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,920
Yes. Yes. Yes.
303
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,856
It's a solemn scene
at Velvety Canned Cheese Park
304
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,557
as our beloved
Cheesemongers are now
305
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,129
officially the biggest losers
in minor league history.
306
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,332
Truly, there is no joy
in Mudville tonight.
307
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:54,266
[* "Glory Days"
by Bruce Springsteen playing]
308
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,557
[players]
We're the worst! We're the worst!
309
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,205
We suck! We suck! We suck!
310
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,374
[group cheering]
311
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:05,712
* I had a friend was
a big baseball player *
312
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,415
* Back in high school *
313
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,184
* He could throw that... *
314
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,453
You got rid of
the spiked gum, right?
315
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,257
Shit.
316
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,360
[* pensive music playing]
317
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,037
Come on.
318
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,972
Come on.
319
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,909
Shit.
320
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,145
Shit.
321
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,716
[door opens]
322
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,485
Oh. Felix, hey.
323
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,687
I can't find
my damn car keys.
324
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,924
Hell of a game, kid.
Sorry about that loss.
325
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,393
Is this what you used?
326
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,677
Used?
327
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,899
You and your buddies,
you tried to spike my gum
328
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,334
to get me out of the game?
329
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,737
What?
Why would we do that?
330
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,739
Because you wanted
to throw it.
331
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:09,274
We're like the worst team
in minor league history.
332
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,876
Even if we were going
to throw the game,
333
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,379
how would you even tell?
334
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,781
Because your buddy, Carl,
335
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,219
tried doing a little math
in my notebook between innings
336
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,696
trying to figure out
how to split up
337
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,425
$3,136,018
338
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,994
five ways.
339
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,930
You're in it.
He broke down your names.
340
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,633
Goddammit, Carl, shit!
341
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,835
And he got
the math wrong. [laughs]
342
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,804
Okay, w-we can make
this right.
343
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,406
Wh-what's it going to take?
344
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,210
Out on the mound today,
I-I went to some place,
345
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,414
a place I've only dreamed of,
346
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,450
where-where God's face
347
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,887
speaks from
the crystalline waters
348
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:58,158
and his angels
manifest in monkey form.
349
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,328
What the hell are you
talking about, Felix?
350
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,798
I'm done with baseball.
351
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,201
Yeah, I wanna move
to Belize...
352
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,470
and find God
353
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,340
and take drugs...
354
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,879
after you give me
the $3 million
355
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,581
you won on today's game.
356
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,351
Oh, come on, man!
357
00:16:24,352 --> 00:16:26,352
That's our life savings
you're talking about.
358
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,983
Some of these guys
got families.
359
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,056
Look, why don't
we give you half?
360
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,959
You could go to Belize
and we'll call it a day.
361
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,929
Either you give me
362
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,799
the entire three million
to keep me quiet,
363
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,869
or I bring the evidence
to the cops
364
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,571
and you lose it all anyway.
365
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,574
[Felix laughs]
366
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,276
"Rocket" Russ!
367
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,427
Shit!
368
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,614
You done?
369
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,449
Yeah, yeah, I guess I am.
370
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,121
[Felix] Smack.
371
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,956
I'll give you instructions
372
00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:04,356
on how to wire me
the money tomorrow.
373
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,527
Once it's in my account,
I'll give you the evidence.
374
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,464
Alright? Oh, and Russ,
you were so right.
375
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:13,667
Time gets us all.
376
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,836
But you had all the time
and the talent
377
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,471
as any of the greats.
378
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,173
You just blew it.
379
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,009
Jesus, man, look at you.
380
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,413
I don't even know how
you live with yourself.
381
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,449
[* ominous music playing]
382
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,352
[ball thuds]
383
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,291
[machine beeps]
384
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,662
Oh, my God.
385
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,898
My fastball, I got it!
386
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,299
I still got...
387
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,468
Oh, shit.
388
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,171
Hey.
389
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,155
Hey.
390
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,376
[* ominous music playing]
391
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,120
[keypad beeping]
392
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,672
[* suspenseful music playing]
393
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,496
[balls clattering]
394
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:59,472
[machine clanking]
395
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,753
[* gentle music playing]
396
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,356
[machine whirs]
397
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,714
Heyo!
398
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,809
[machine whirring, creaking]
399
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,644
A-Ha!
400
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:46,869
Hmm.
401
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,861
[whirring, creaking stops]
402
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,779
Hmm.
403
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,917
[machine beeps]
404
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,270
[sighs]
405
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,279
-[machine beeps]
-Alright, uh,
406
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,080
now I'm like emotionally
invested in this shit.
407
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,131
Come on.
408
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,751
[Good Buddy] [on radio]
Yeah, I still don't get it.
409
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:19,802
What's your job?
410
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,121
I wanna say, uh,
411
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,923
administrative assistant
or something.
412
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,893
Error 10,
category network error.
413
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,261
Yeah, I already knew that.
414
00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:29,528
[Good Buddy]
And why does that appeal?
415
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,399
Well, I told you
that I binge watched
416
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,865
"The Office"
last month, right?
417
00:20:32,866 --> 00:20:33,866
[Good Buddy] Oh, no.
418
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:36,037
The road was getting lonely
and I figured,
419
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,570
ah, community,
420
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,140
same people every day,
entertaining dynamics.
421
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,574
I should try office life.
422
00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:43,676
-Dumb, right?
-[Good Buddy] Ah, I get it.
423
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,146
Sometimes we need
an inspirational smack.
424
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,114
Hmm.
So I guess this company,
425
00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:49,515
they, they all started
working remotely
426
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,216
during COVID
and they never came back,
427
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,385
and they need, uh,
one person in the office
428
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,520
so it's not
technically vacant,
429
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,956
you know, for
insurance purposes.
430
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,225
This was a dumb idea.
I should quit.
431
00:20:59,226 --> 00:21:00,459
[Good Buddy] My experience,
432
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,395
it's the smack
after the smack
433
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,930
that you gotta watch for.
434
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,131
Hmm.
435
00:21:05,132 --> 00:21:07,066
I'm not fully sure
what that means, man.
436
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,401
I...
437
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,870
A-ha!
438
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,605
[buttons beep]
439
00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:15,141
[machine whirs]
440
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,677
[machine powers down]
441
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,830
[sighs]
442
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,067
-[machine whirs]
-[Charlie] Ha!
443
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:27,703
Smack.
444
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,357
-[glass shatters]
-[Charlie thuds]
445
00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,499
[birds chirping]
446
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,805
This is yours,
I think, right?
447
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:46,955
Thank you.
448
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:48,341
I just have to ask,
449
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,543
what is your
general philosophy
450
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,913
regarding
litigation and such?
451
00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,515
Look, uh, [chuckles]
452
00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:57,182
looking around,
I can see this isn't really,
453
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,550
you know,
the major leagues.
454
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,353
And anyway, by nature,
455
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,790
I gotta say I'm a lover,
not a suer.
456
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,192
I'm so glad.
I have to tell you something.
457
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,262
We are barely keeping
the lights on as it is.
458
00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,932
I think this team is very
important to this town.
459
00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:15,502
Gives us a sense
of community, you know?
460
00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,471
It's a place for people
to come every day,
461
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,008
same people
but interesting dynamics.
462
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,543
No shit.
463
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,446
-Second smack, wow.
-[Lucille chuckles]
464
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,816
Okay, uh,
crazy question.
465
00:22:29,817 --> 00:22:33,318
-Hey! [laughs]
-[Lucille] You were born
466
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,621
to wear that uniform!
467
00:22:34,622 --> 00:22:35,721
-Yeah?
-[Lucille] Yes!
468
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,058
Okay, so, uh,
how does this work?
469
00:22:38,059 --> 00:22:39,725
Oh, hey, batter,
batter, batter,
470
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:41,393
batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter.
471
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,797
No, don't do that.
472
00:22:43,798 --> 00:22:45,130
Come here, walk with me.
473
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,399
As a ball girl, what
you're going to do, honey,
474
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,302
is you're going
to field foul balls,
475
00:22:49,303 --> 00:22:51,203
and you're going
to interact with the fans,
476
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,439
which can really be fun.
477
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:53,840
And then before the game,
478
00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:55,841
you just pitch in
wherever you're needed,
479
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:59,279
operating the pitching machine,
shagging balls.
480
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,813
-Do explain that one.
-Simple.
481
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:02,982
You just pick up
the loose baseballs
482
00:23:02,983 --> 00:23:03,916
during batting practice.
483
00:23:03,917 --> 00:23:05,384
-Okay. I can do it.
-[Lucille] Yeah.
484
00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:06,953
-Okay?
-Yeah, yeah.
485
00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:07,853
I'm going
to introduce you
486
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,823
to the oldest member
of our family.
487
00:23:09,923 --> 00:23:11,391
His name is Rambo.
488
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,541
And I should have
retired him years ago,
489
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,396
but I don't have the funds
to get a new one.
490
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,131
I'll show you how it works.
491
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,332
You flip this switch.
492
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,601
[machine rattling]
493
00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:24,804
Oh, I should tell you,
you gotta be real careful
494
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,441
because every couple balls,
he just starts shooting wild
495
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,610
and he could hit
anything in sight.
496
00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:32,846
-Uh, you see?
-Yeah.
497
00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:36,082
Wow. Uh, so what do you do
when that happens?
498
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,318
Just, look, smack! Ah!
499
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,554
[* cheery organ music playing]
500
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:47,175
[fan]
If you could sign my cheese?
501
00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,332
[Charlie]
Uh, hey.
502
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,668
Who's Mr. Baseball
over there?
503
00:23:55,135 --> 00:23:56,369
"Rocket" Russ Waddell,
504
00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:59,539
greatest athlete
this town's ever produced,
505
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:02,909
former first round
draft pick and top prospect,
506
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,478
one of only three
Montgomery citizens
507
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,614
to get their own
Wikipedia entry.
508
00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,516
I'll bite.
Who are the other two?
509
00:24:09,517 --> 00:24:11,483
[Benny] Hiram Lubinski,
the inventor
510
00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,619
of Velvety Canned Cheese
Substitute Spread,
511
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,724
and my cousin Jamie,
who co-founded WikiKnees.
512
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,659
I mingle with royalty.
513
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,227
-[Benny chuckles]
-So, uh...
514
00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:23,329
what is mister
hotshot Rocket
515
00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:24,931
doing here
in the minors?
516
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,702
Russ lost his fastball
a few years ago.
517
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,570
No one knows why.
518
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,707
Injury, bad luck,
family curse.
519
00:24:33,708 --> 00:24:35,641
It was a classic case
of the yips and you know it.
520
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:37,544
-Ugh.
-I'm sorry, yips?
521
00:24:37,545 --> 00:24:38,644
Russ got in his own head
522
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,455
and messed with
his whole approach.
523
00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:42,849
We tried every cure
in the book to fix it.
524
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:47,787
Body waxing, ritual tugging,
slutty Babe Ruth.
525
00:24:48,421 --> 00:24:50,090
None of it worked.
526
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,424
But I got a feeling
527
00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:53,193
that today's going
to be the day.
528
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:56,629
Finally going to get
the old Rocket back.
529
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,598
[crowd cheers]
530
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:03,937
-[ball clangs]
-[crowd] Oh!
531
00:25:03,938 --> 00:25:06,038
[Benny]
Shake it off, Rocket!
532
00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:07,574
You still got it!
533
00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:10,577
Oh, sadly bullshit.
534
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,151
Another pitcher, Frank.
535
00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:22,589
Hi. Uh...
536
00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:24,791
Oh, I'm Charlie,
the new ball girl.
537
00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:26,559
Don't think we've met.
538
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,360
I'm Russ,
the washed-up old timer.
539
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,863
Oh, come on.
540
00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:33,233
Hey, sorry about
the, uh, the game.
541
00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:34,601
It's a tough loss.
542
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,536
You think I'd get used
to it by now.
543
00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:38,538
Hey, it's just a game.
544
00:25:38,638 --> 00:25:40,040
Shake it off, right?
545
00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,008
That sounded off.
546
00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:45,712
You're going to tell me
it's not just a game, right?
547
00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,781
No, you're right,
it's just a game,
548
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,884
but it's the only thing
I've ever had a gift for.
549
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:54,154
And when you're
given a gift in life, even a strange one
550
00:25:54,254 --> 00:25:57,390
like throwing a little ball
swiftly past a man with a stick,
551
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,393
when you get a taste
of puttin' it to use...
552
00:26:00,493 --> 00:26:01,728
[clicks tongue]
553
00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,638
Been years since
I even touched 90,
554
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,498
let alone triple digits.
555
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:07,667
Actually,
as somebody with, uh,
556
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,697
well, strange gifts
myself, I relate.
557
00:26:09,698 --> 00:26:11,637
But isn't there
something you can do,
558
00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:13,940
like a robo arm,
surgery or something?
559
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,775
Physically speaking,
I'm fine.
560
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,811
It's all in my damn head.
561
00:26:17,812 --> 00:26:19,712
At least I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
562
00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:21,381
Oh, yeah?
Why is that?
563
00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:23,283
Skip said I got
one more start.
564
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:24,984
I'm done.
565
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,353
No shit.
566
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,522
Rocket, here's, uh,
to going out with a bang, huh?
567
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,257
It's Russ, please.
And thanks.
568
00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:34,494
-Until we meet again.
-Okay, until we meet again.
569
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:35,929
Cheers cheers.
570
00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:40,700
-Oh, so that's it, huh?
-Yep.
571
00:26:40,701 --> 00:26:42,434
They're giving me
one more start,
572
00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:43,970
then off to the pasture.
573
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,206
[crowd cheering]
574
00:26:47,507 --> 00:26:48,775
Oh.
575
00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:50,445
Deputy ball girl,
that's you!
576
00:26:50,446 --> 00:26:53,145
[announcer] We've got ourselves
an old-fashioned pitcher's duel.
577
00:26:53,146 --> 00:26:54,046
Go, go!
578
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,614
[announcer]
Can the unorthodox
579
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,185
young Felix Domingo
continue...
580
00:26:57,217 --> 00:27:00,020
Ah, look it,
she's running, she's running!
581
00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:02,355
Bang-up job, deputy.
582
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,090
[* bright music playing]
583
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,291
Ah.
584
00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:08,428
Charlie Cale, I do believe
you found yourself
585
00:27:08,528 --> 00:27:10,063
a rewarding career.
586
00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:15,969
[chuckles] I'll do it.
587
00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,874
[Charlie groans]
588
00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:26,880
Oh.
589
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,715
Hey, hey.
590
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,565
Hey, that was a heck
of a first game.
591
00:27:30,617 --> 00:27:33,286
I, uh, like
your style, kid.
592
00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:36,990
Did you know
that God is a verb?
593
00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,592
I did not know that.
594
00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:40,760
Oh...
595
00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:43,263
How about some water
or something?
596
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,765
God. [chuckles]
597
00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:47,300
God isn't God.
598
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,735
No, you know,
like, not,
599
00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,870
not like the way
that we were taught.
600
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:55,175
See, God is the music
of the spheres,
601
00:27:55,642 --> 00:27:58,812
the symphonic echo
of radical love
602
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,513
between all living things.
603
00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:03,384
[Charlie] Oh, boy.
Hey, uh, would you mind?
604
00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:06,753
Hmm.
605
00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:09,622
Oh. [snaps fingers]
606
00:28:09,723 --> 00:28:12,073
You know what I should do
is get your autograph
607
00:28:12,074 --> 00:28:14,026
'cause the way you were
throwing out there today,
608
00:28:14,027 --> 00:28:16,497
oh, boy, yeah, you're headed
for the big leagues.
609
00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:18,965
[chuckles]
I'm quitting the game.
610
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,567
-Huh?
-[Felix chuckles]
611
00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:22,902
Because none
of this matters.
612
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:27,807
You know, like who wins,
who loses, you see, God...
613
00:28:28,942 --> 00:28:31,011
and the monkeys matter.
614
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,129
Hmm.
615
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,648
I really think you should
drink some of that.
616
00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:37,699
Huh?
617
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,953
Hey, you have
a retirement fund
618
00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,689
or a side hustle,
crypto trading or something?
619
00:28:42,789 --> 00:28:44,657
Well, money, eh.
620
00:28:44,658 --> 00:28:46,792
[Charlie]
Don't overthink it.
621
00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:49,396
When inspiration smacks,
listen.
622
00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:52,198
Yeah. Smack. Inspiration.
623
00:28:52,199 --> 00:28:54,066
Although they do say
that it's actually
624
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:57,103
the, uh, the second smack
that gets you, so...
625
00:28:57,203 --> 00:28:58,438
[Felix chuckles]
626
00:28:58,439 --> 00:28:59,638
What's that mean?
627
00:28:59,639 --> 00:29:01,941
I have no idea
but, uh, hydrate.
628
00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:05,779
Thank you, ball girl,
for sharing your wisdom.
629
00:29:05,879 --> 00:29:07,080
Yes, of course, anytime.
630
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,215
And, uh, well,
good luck coming down
631
00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:11,245
off whatever you're
coming down from.
632
00:29:11,551 --> 00:29:13,019
On?
633
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:14,379
No, I don't take anything.
634
00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:17,323
Me neither... officer.
635
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:18,825
Okay, Godspeed.
636
00:29:22,495 --> 00:29:23,830
Godspeed.
637
00:29:24,798 --> 00:29:26,099
Godspeed.
638
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,170
[* ominous music playing]
639
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,078
[cart rattling]
640
00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:52,701
[voice] [muffled]
Yum.
641
00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:53,809
Yum.
642
00:29:53,810 --> 00:29:54,793
Yum
643
00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:56,496
[* suspenseful music playing]
644
00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:57,997
Yum.
645
00:29:58,631 --> 00:29:59,766
Yum.
646
00:29:59,866 --> 00:30:01,101
Yum!
647
00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,103
[louder] Yum.
648
00:30:03,203 --> 00:30:04,637
Yum.
649
00:30:04,738 --> 00:30:07,407
Yum. Yum. Yum
650
00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:08,891
Yum.
651
00:30:09,175 --> 00:30:10,610
-Yum.
-[Charlie laughs]
652
00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:11,845
Yum.
653
00:30:11,945 --> 00:30:13,413
Ah, I don't think so.
654
00:30:13,513 --> 00:30:16,163
-[* mystical music playing]
-Yum, yum, yum!
655
00:30:17,517 --> 00:30:20,053
[sock continues, muffled]
656
00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:22,088
**
657
00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,970
[creature jabbering]
658
00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,571
-[thud]
-Ah!
659
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:42,991
[man]
Charlie Cale...
660
00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:45,111
[distorted] Charlie Cale...
661
00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,080
[echoing] the wanderer...
662
00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:53,386
It's up to you
to save this ballpark,
663
00:30:53,486 --> 00:30:55,922
to save this team.
664
00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:58,491
It is?
665
00:30:59,444 --> 00:31:01,493
Why?
666
00:31:01,494 --> 00:31:05,231
Because baseball...
is not just a game.
667
00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:09,569
It is the secret
of the spheres.
668
00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:13,239
[whooshing]
669
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:15,975
Are you...
670
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:18,478
God?
671
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:20,580
I...
672
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,682
am Hiram Lubinski,
673
00:31:22,782 --> 00:31:27,120
the inventor of
Velvety Canned Cheese Substitute Spread,
674
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,957
now available in jalapeno
and spicy seafood flavors.
675
00:31:32,092 --> 00:31:34,027
Oh, I get it.
676
00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:36,863
Ah, the mascot is you.
677
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,865
I'm the founder
of this ballpark
678
00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:41,201
as well as its
spiritual guardian.
679
00:31:41,202 --> 00:31:42,334
Cool.
680
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:45,405
[Hiram] Baseball is not
just a pastime.
681
00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:48,341
It is the passing
of time itself.
682
00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:51,378
Tell me, wanderer,
is it any coincidence
683
00:31:51,478 --> 00:31:57,083
that the goal of every hitter
is to return safely to home?
684
00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,651
Huh.
685
00:31:59,304 --> 00:32:01,286
Wow.
686
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,957
This ballpark is home.
687
00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:07,560
Without it, the people
of Montgomery would be lost...
688
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:11,164
and my granddaughter,
Lucille...
689
00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:13,466
would be bereft
690
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,602
with no community,
691
00:32:15,702 --> 00:32:17,637
without any sense
of belonging.
692
00:32:18,071 --> 00:32:20,240
Do you know what
that is like, Charlie?
693
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:21,541
Yes.
694
00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:24,844
Yes, I... I, I do.
695
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,546
-[Hiram] Then help us.
-Okay.
696
00:32:26,646 --> 00:32:29,082
Protect this ballpark
697
00:32:29,182 --> 00:32:31,918
and save this team!
698
00:32:32,018 --> 00:32:33,987
But from what?
699
00:32:34,087 --> 00:32:36,089
Mm, from who?
700
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,590
Come home, wanderer.
701
00:32:38,658 --> 00:32:42,128
Every soul seeks to be safe
702
00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:44,264
at home.
703
00:32:44,364 --> 00:32:47,600
[dramatic music swells,
stops]
704
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,250
[Charlie groans]
705
00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:09,589
Oh, Charlie?
706
00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:12,726
Wow, my kingdom
for some electrolytes.
707
00:33:12,826 --> 00:33:14,396
[Lucille]
Charlie, Charlie!
708
00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:18,665
What in the world
happened last night?
709
00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,704
[machine powers down]
710
00:33:26,112 --> 00:33:29,575
[Charlie] Oh, my God,
what happened?
711
00:33:29,576 --> 00:33:31,678
Uh, the new guy
stayed late last night
712
00:33:31,778 --> 00:33:33,880
to take some extra BP.
713
00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:35,382
He tried using Rambo.
714
00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:39,753
He got hit in the back
of the head with a fastball.
715
00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:42,989
Uh, I knew I should have had
that machine replaced.
716
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:44,023
I knew that.
717
00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:45,759
I found him this morning.
718
00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,261
So Rambo...
719
00:33:49,229 --> 00:33:50,279
killed Felix?
720
00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:52,098
Well, it looks that way.
721
00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:54,467
Lucille, I hate
to bring it up, but...
722
00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,736
-What?
-You could be looking
723
00:33:56,836 --> 00:33:59,005
at a wrongful death lawsuit.
724
00:33:59,006 --> 00:34:01,540
-A big one.
-[Lucille] Well, that'll be it.
725
00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:04,511
We'd have
to shut down the park, then move the team.
726
00:34:04,611 --> 00:34:06,513
It's the only family
I got left.
727
00:34:06,514 --> 00:34:08,213
Oh, no, we're not going
to let that happen.
728
00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:11,584
Uh, everybody knew
the machine was faulty.
729
00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:13,787
It is my fault.
730
00:34:14,954 --> 00:34:17,991
Hey, so,
hypothetically speaking,
731
00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:20,081
if, uh, Felix,
we know he was a good kid,
732
00:34:20,093 --> 00:34:23,129
but if Felix here
was, uh, high
733
00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:25,031
while he was using
the equipment,
734
00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:28,001
would that alleviate
some of this liability?
735
00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:30,503
-Well, I guess it...
-[Benny] Yeah.
736
00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:32,472
...it would. Why?
737
00:34:33,106 --> 00:34:36,509
Well, I, uh, I think
his gum was laced.
738
00:34:36,609 --> 00:34:41,014
Well, if he was on drugs,
it's easy enough to check.
739
00:34:41,015 --> 00:34:42,081
It is?
740
00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:44,384
Yeah, a simple reagent test.
741
00:34:44,484 --> 00:34:45,534
Oh.
742
00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:47,620
Retired cop.
743
00:34:47,721 --> 00:34:50,557
Okay. Uh, well, hmm.
744
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:52,459
Okay, terrific.
745
00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:02,435
Negative, no sign of drugs.
746
00:35:02,535 --> 00:35:03,585
Wait, what?
747
00:35:03,586 --> 00:35:05,637
Oh, gosh, man.
I know I was tripping so hard.
748
00:35:05,638 --> 00:35:07,340
And we all saw Felix
on that mound.
749
00:35:07,341 --> 00:35:09,508
He was like a guy at
a Phish concert at the Sphere.
750
00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:11,211
I mean, come on,
he was tripping.
751
00:35:11,311 --> 00:35:13,179
-Geez.
-Honey.
752
00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:14,414
[Charlie] What?
753
00:35:14,514 --> 00:35:16,444
[Lucille]
Appreciate your concern,
754
00:35:16,516 --> 00:35:17,966
but the last thing
I wanna do
755
00:35:18,018 --> 00:35:20,487
is sully
this kid's reputation.
756
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,757
I've done
enough damage already.
757
00:35:24,057 --> 00:35:26,059
Lucille, this is
not on you.
758
00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:27,826
We're going to figure
this out, okay?
759
00:35:27,827 --> 00:35:29,997
I talked to Felix.
He told me he was straight.
760
00:35:30,030 --> 00:35:32,599
He wasn't lying.
Something is amiss.
761
00:35:32,699 --> 00:35:34,634
We'll have more
on Felix Domingo
762
00:35:34,734 --> 00:35:35,969
as the story develops.
763
00:35:36,069 --> 00:35:38,304
-[knocking on door]
-Skip.
764
00:35:38,405 --> 00:35:39,773
Hell of a start
to the day.
765
00:35:39,873 --> 00:35:41,207
[TV shuts off]
766
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:42,742
You need something?
767
00:35:42,842 --> 00:35:44,978
Yeah, I do,
I sure do.
768
00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:48,415
So Felix
in last night's game,
769
00:35:48,515 --> 00:35:50,817
uh, just a gut check,
770
00:35:50,917 --> 00:35:52,185
he look alright to you?
771
00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:53,453
He looked great.
772
00:35:53,553 --> 00:35:55,989
He was higher than a fly
on Willie Nelson's wall.
773
00:35:56,089 --> 00:35:57,791
-Yeah.
-But whatever it takes.
774
00:35:57,891 --> 00:35:59,993
I mean, I don't judge.
775
00:36:00,093 --> 00:36:02,128
I mean, I'm working
on not judging.
776
00:36:02,562 --> 00:36:04,197
Something I'm working on.
777
00:36:04,931 --> 00:36:07,161
[Deb Lux] [on TV]
It's not all sad news today.
778
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,270
Some lucky citizen
has won $3 million
779
00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,239
betting on last night's
historic Cheesemonger loss.
780
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,475
A five-game parlay
at 22-to-one odds
781
00:36:15,575 --> 00:36:17,310
-was cashed in at a-
-Jesus.
782
00:36:17,711 --> 00:36:18,945
Sad, isn't it?
783
00:36:18,946 --> 00:36:20,379
Used to be fans
actually rooted
784
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,681
for the home team.
785
00:36:22,148 --> 00:36:24,317
Win or lose, we were
all in it together.
786
00:36:25,018 --> 00:36:27,554
Now it's all about the odds
and working the angles.
787
00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,623
Getting rich
by expecting the worst.
788
00:36:34,894 --> 00:36:36,162
[Charlie]
Beep beep.
789
00:36:36,262 --> 00:36:37,312
Huh.
790
00:36:37,397 --> 00:36:39,532
Uh, hiya, Carl.
791
00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:41,601
Can I ask you a question?
792
00:36:41,602 --> 00:36:42,968
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[Charlie] Uh,
793
00:36:42,969 --> 00:36:46,773
do you know if anyone had
a, uh, a grudge against Felix?
794
00:36:46,873 --> 00:36:50,110
'Cause, uh, I think
someone spiked his gum.
795
00:36:50,577 --> 00:36:53,467
Why would anybody have it out
for the new guy? [chuckles]
796
00:36:53,813 --> 00:36:55,181
Oh, wow!
797
00:36:55,482 --> 00:36:56,850
Super cool!
Is that a...
798
00:36:57,283 --> 00:36:59,719
That's a no grill, huh?
Is it solid gold?
799
00:36:59,819 --> 00:37:02,689
My aunt died and left me
a real big inheritance.
800
00:37:02,789 --> 00:37:04,090
Yeah, bullshit.
801
00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:07,360
I won it playing trivia
down at the, uh, pub.
802
00:37:07,361 --> 00:37:08,961
Obvious bullshit.
I mean, I don't even need
803
00:37:08,962 --> 00:37:10,362
my special thing
for that one.
804
00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:12,432
-Whoa.
-What are you bothering me for?
805
00:37:12,532 --> 00:37:14,000
I'm just a ball player,
806
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,935
a regular
minor league ball player.
807
00:37:16,036 --> 00:37:17,303
Yeah, yeah, no.
808
00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:19,272
I, uh, I know you are.
809
00:37:22,809 --> 00:37:25,278
Nobody wanted the kid
to get hurt, alright?
810
00:37:25,279 --> 00:37:28,280
[clicks tongue]
Right, obviously.
811
00:37:28,281 --> 00:37:31,017
Yeah, no, obviously not.
It's just, uh...
812
00:37:32,519 --> 00:37:33,853
y-you did, right?
813
00:37:33,953 --> 00:37:35,321
You-you spiked his gum.
814
00:37:35,922 --> 00:37:37,824
Just to get him
out the game though,
815
00:37:37,825 --> 00:37:39,858
and then he went and
fucked around with Rambo.
816
00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:42,462
And the whole thing was
a freak accident.
817
00:37:42,562 --> 00:37:45,398
I mean, I-I feel bad
about it, really.
818
00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:47,734
I believe you, I do.
819
00:37:47,834 --> 00:37:51,037
I-I just, um, I'm trying
to square, you know...
820
00:37:51,038 --> 00:37:53,439
I mean, here's Felix,
he's throwing a no hitter.
821
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,250
Why would you want him
out the game?
822
00:37:55,709 --> 00:37:58,478
Strip club after
the game, fellas!
823
00:37:58,578 --> 00:38:01,081
-[group] Hell yeah!
-Drinks on your boy!
824
00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,052
What's good, ball girl?
825
00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:09,356
I see.
826
00:38:09,357 --> 00:38:11,323
They spiked the gum
that killed Felix
827
00:38:11,324 --> 00:38:13,659
so that they could,
uh, lose the game and win the bet.
828
00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,627
It's not like we're talking
criminal masterminds here.
829
00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,863
All they gotta do is check
these guys' bank accounts.
830
00:38:17,864 --> 00:38:19,531
Yeah, but you need
a search warrant
831
00:38:19,532 --> 00:38:20,934
to check a bank account.
832
00:38:21,034 --> 00:38:23,970
Right now, there isn't
enough evidence to get one.
833
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:25,337
I-I-I don't understand.
834
00:38:25,338 --> 00:38:27,072
They're just going to let
the ballpark close?
835
00:38:27,073 --> 00:38:28,207
That doesn't seem right.
836
00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:29,641
I mean, what about
an autopsy?
837
00:38:29,642 --> 00:38:32,245
There's gotta be
some kind of, uh, evidence
838
00:38:32,345 --> 00:38:35,448
what kind of drug it was that
they put inside Felix's gum, no?
839
00:38:35,548 --> 00:38:38,438
Well, I asked my old partner
to send me a copy of the report.
840
00:38:38,439 --> 00:38:40,019
It should be
getting here any minute.
841
00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:41,588
-Hmm.
-[phone chimes]
842
00:38:43,189 --> 00:38:45,825
Okay, here's
the autopsy report.
843
00:38:45,925 --> 00:38:47,027
Let's see.
844
00:38:47,494 --> 00:38:52,198
Uh, yep, death
by blunt force trauma.
845
00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,502
Let's see, did they
even do a tox report?
846
00:38:56,036 --> 00:38:58,538
Hey, uh, could I take
a look at that?
847
00:38:58,638 --> 00:39:00,306
Oh, sure,
be my guest.
848
00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:01,574
Oh, thanks.
849
00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:07,180
I wanna save
that ballpark too, you know?
850
00:39:07,547 --> 00:39:10,583
My old man used to take me
there every weekend.
851
00:39:10,584 --> 00:39:13,318
There's nothing better
than a Sunday double header
852
00:39:13,319 --> 00:39:15,055
with your pops. [chuckles]
853
00:39:15,056 --> 00:39:18,490
Well, I don't even really know
what I'm looking at here,
854
00:39:18,491 --> 00:39:20,826
but I think it says here
that the ball was going
855
00:39:20,827 --> 00:39:22,262
over a hundred miles an hour.
856
00:39:22,263 --> 00:39:23,362
What's that?
857
00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:25,131
The ball that killed Felix,
858
00:39:25,231 --> 00:39:27,161
according to this
coroner's report,
859
00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:28,968
it looks like
the skull fracture
860
00:39:29,069 --> 00:39:31,838
was caused by a ball
861
00:39:31,938 --> 00:39:35,175
that was over
a hundred miles an hour.
862
00:39:35,275 --> 00:39:36,325
Wow.
863
00:39:36,609 --> 00:39:39,279
I didn't think Rambo had
that kind of speed in him.
864
00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:41,114
Yeah, no shit, Benny.
No shit.
865
00:39:41,214 --> 00:39:43,817
[machine rattling]
866
00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,185
Ah, shise.
867
00:39:45,285 --> 00:39:47,987
Come on, Rambo,
you Cold War relic.
868
00:39:48,088 --> 00:39:49,489
You can do better than that.
869
00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:52,092
Concentrate, concentrate!
870
00:39:52,192 --> 00:39:53,526
Let 'er rip!
871
00:39:56,096 --> 00:39:58,098
-[Russ] Hey.
-Oh!
872
00:39:58,198 --> 00:39:59,833
Benny said
you wanted to talk.
873
00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,001
Yeah, hi, Russ.
874
00:40:01,101 --> 00:40:02,635
Quick question.
875
00:40:02,636 --> 00:40:04,303
Is there anyone
on either team
876
00:40:04,304 --> 00:40:05,874
that can throw
over a hundred?
877
00:40:05,939 --> 00:40:09,009
Nah, anyone throws that fast,
they're not doing it here.
878
00:40:09,109 --> 00:40:10,777
That's a ticket to the show.
879
00:40:11,845 --> 00:40:14,014
Yeah, that's what I thought.
880
00:40:14,114 --> 00:40:15,281
Why you wanna know?
881
00:40:15,282 --> 00:40:16,548
It's just the coroner,
you know,
882
00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:18,117
he had mentioned
that the fastball
883
00:40:18,118 --> 00:40:19,486
that killed Felix, uh,
884
00:40:19,586 --> 00:40:21,696
well, it was going
over a hundred at least.
885
00:40:21,788 --> 00:40:24,858
And, uh, well, we all know
that Rambo here can't do that,
886
00:40:24,958 --> 00:40:27,127
and, and you
can't either, so...
887
00:40:27,227 --> 00:40:28,395
Thanks a lot.
888
00:40:28,396 --> 00:40:29,661
No, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
889
00:40:29,662 --> 00:40:31,030
It's just, you know,
the other day
890
00:40:31,031 --> 00:40:32,331
you had said that
you lost your fastball
891
00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:35,335
and you hadn't been
able to throw over 90 for years now.
892
00:40:35,435 --> 00:40:38,204
So, uh, you weren't lying.
893
00:40:38,638 --> 00:40:40,940
I don't know.
I mean, all things considered,
894
00:40:41,041 --> 00:40:42,742
I figured you were
the guy to ask.
895
00:40:42,842 --> 00:40:44,544
Uh, thinking to myself,
896
00:40:44,545 --> 00:40:46,679
I mean, what am I
overlooking, you know?
897
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,349
Look, I gotta go home
and get some shuteye, alright?
898
00:40:49,350 --> 00:40:51,016
I'm pitching
my last game tomorrow.
899
00:40:51,017 --> 00:40:54,454
Hey, how about
after the game,
900
00:40:54,554 --> 00:40:56,289
I buy you a round,
901
00:40:56,389 --> 00:40:58,124
celebrate your victory, huh?
902
00:40:58,925 --> 00:41:00,060
I'd like that.
903
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,162
I'm not counting on it,
but I'd like it.
904
00:41:02,262 --> 00:41:03,897
Never say die.
905
00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:06,433
This is the end
of the road for me.
906
00:41:06,833 --> 00:41:09,069
Like you said,
my fastball's gone
907
00:41:09,169 --> 00:41:10,637
and it's not comin' back.
908
00:41:12,238 --> 00:41:13,606
Bullshit.
909
00:41:14,607 --> 00:41:16,142
I wish it was, Charlie.
910
00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:17,911
I wish it was.
911
00:41:18,011 --> 00:41:19,279
[chuckles]
912
00:41:23,850 --> 00:41:27,554
-[crowd cheers]
-[* cheery organ music playing]
913
00:41:31,925 --> 00:41:33,793
I don't have
to remind any of you
914
00:41:33,893 --> 00:41:36,629
that this is
Russ's last game.
915
00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:42,268
It's probably our team's
last game in this great park.
916
00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:45,972
So let's go out there
and stop this losing streak!
917
00:41:46,072 --> 00:41:48,875
-[team claps]
-[player] Yeah, yeah.
918
00:41:48,975 --> 00:41:50,305
[Skip]
Let's win for Russ.
919
00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:52,545
Yeah!
Let's fucking go, Rocket!
920
00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:54,614
For Felix.
921
00:41:54,615 --> 00:41:58,751
-For the Lubinski family.
-[player] Yeah, that's right!
922
00:41:58,752 --> 00:42:00,620
And for these fans
923
00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:03,690
who have suffered with us
for all these goddamn years.
924
00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,458
-Yeah, right!
-Yeah!
925
00:42:05,459 --> 00:42:06,759
[Skip]
And while we're at it,
926
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,894
let's win one for
927
00:42:07,994 --> 00:42:09,829
good old-fashioned monogamy.
928
00:42:11,598 --> 00:42:12,766
Whoo!
929
00:42:13,533 --> 00:42:14,668
Yeah!
930
00:42:16,636 --> 00:42:18,872
-[exhales]
-[Charlie] Hey, so what was it?
931
00:42:19,506 --> 00:42:21,541
-What was what?
-Well, you know,
932
00:42:21,641 --> 00:42:24,010
what cleared your head
and got you that, uh,
933
00:42:24,110 --> 00:42:25,245
your fastball back?
934
00:42:25,246 --> 00:42:27,012
[Russ] What?
935
00:42:27,013 --> 00:42:29,048
Well, uh, the other night
at the pub, you know,
936
00:42:29,049 --> 00:42:31,417
you said that
you lost your fastball and it was the truth.
937
00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:32,484
But then last night,
you said
938
00:42:32,485 --> 00:42:33,719
the same thing,
and it was a lie.
939
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,521
So sometime in between,
something happened
940
00:42:35,522 --> 00:42:39,192
that fixed that mental block
and got you your fastball back.
941
00:42:39,292 --> 00:42:40,922
-What was it?
-[Russ chuckles]
942
00:42:41,261 --> 00:42:42,962
Charlie, no offense,
943
00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:45,098
but you sound
batshit crazy right now.
944
00:42:45,198 --> 00:42:47,167
Well, cards on the table,
945
00:42:47,168 --> 00:42:48,667
I know that you guys
have been throwing
946
00:42:48,668 --> 00:42:50,737
these last few games,
and I also know
947
00:42:50,837 --> 00:42:52,272
that you spiked Felix's gum.
948
00:42:52,372 --> 00:42:53,752
Your buddy Carl admitted it.
949
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,442
Jesus, Carl.
950
00:42:55,842 --> 00:42:58,945
Gotta say I didn't think
you were involved.
951
00:42:58,946 --> 00:43:00,245
Nah, 'cause, you know,
you didn't play
952
00:43:00,246 --> 00:43:02,348
during those last five losses
that scored you
953
00:43:02,349 --> 00:43:05,885
the big payout,
and also 'cause I liked you.
954
00:43:06,586 --> 00:43:09,022
But then, then
I put it together.
955
00:43:09,122 --> 00:43:11,825
You were supposed to start
that last game, not Felix.
956
00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:14,294
That's why the guys
were trying to get him out
957
00:43:14,394 --> 00:43:16,029
and get you in.
958
00:43:16,129 --> 00:43:17,430
Alright, fine.
959
00:43:17,431 --> 00:43:19,431
We threw those last few games.
So what?
960
00:43:19,432 --> 00:43:20,692
Have you seen our record?
961
00:43:20,734 --> 00:43:22,135
We were going to lose anyway.
962
00:43:22,235 --> 00:43:26,072
Gosh, cashing in
on your own failure.
963
00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:28,508
That's where you ended up.
964
00:43:29,142 --> 00:43:32,712
So you're born with this
one-in-a-million gift.
965
00:43:32,812 --> 00:43:34,080
And then, what?
966
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:37,984
You throw it all away
like a total fucking loser.
967
00:43:38,818 --> 00:43:39,986
[ball clinks]
968
00:43:41,988 --> 00:43:43,038
Aha.
969
00:43:43,556 --> 00:43:44,624
I see.
970
00:43:45,458 --> 00:43:48,762
So that's what Felix told you
the night you murdered him,
971
00:43:48,862 --> 00:43:50,096
and that's what got you
972
00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:53,633
your 100-mile-per-hour
fastball back.
973
00:43:53,733 --> 00:43:55,368
Hearing the truth.
974
00:43:55,468 --> 00:43:57,103
I'm about to go prove
975
00:43:57,203 --> 00:43:59,272
in front of a stadium
full of people
976
00:43:59,372 --> 00:44:02,575
that I'm all washed up
with nothing left in this arm,
977
00:44:02,676 --> 00:44:04,244
so you got nothing,
ball girl.
978
00:44:04,344 --> 00:44:06,913
Why don't you go sit
your nosy ass down
979
00:44:07,347 --> 00:44:08,948
and enjoy our final loss?
980
00:44:09,049 --> 00:44:10,250
Yeah.
981
00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:14,154
Oh, uh, before I forget,
there's this, uh,
982
00:44:14,521 --> 00:44:16,956
a big league scout
in the stands.
983
00:44:17,057 --> 00:44:19,426
[laughs] Bullshit.
Pathetic.
984
00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,261
Alright, alright
alright...
985
00:44:21,262 --> 00:44:24,063
Why would a scout be
at a Cheesemongers game?
986
00:44:24,064 --> 00:44:27,534
Skip said something
about an open roster slot
987
00:44:27,634 --> 00:44:29,204
and needing some
bullpen heat
988
00:44:29,205 --> 00:44:31,136
there in the show,
whatever that means.
989
00:44:31,137 --> 00:44:33,572
Anyway, I probably shouldn't
have said anything.
990
00:44:33,573 --> 00:44:35,308
I don't wanna get
in your head.
991
00:44:36,509 --> 00:44:39,312
[* ominous music playing]
992
00:44:45,425 --> 00:44:50,189
[announcer] [on loudspeaker]:
Your starting pitcher...
993
00:44:50,190 --> 00:44:51,925
[voice echoing]
994
00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,928
[announcer]
For the very last time...
995
00:44:55,929 --> 00:44:58,198
our hometown hero...
996
00:44:58,298 --> 00:44:59,566
[crowd cheering]
997
00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:02,669
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
998
00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:06,106
[* organ playing cheery tune]
999
00:45:07,674 --> 00:45:10,377
[cheering continues]
1000
00:45:10,378 --> 00:45:13,545
[announcer]
"Rocket" Russ Waddell readies
1001
00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:15,315
for his first pitch.
1002
00:45:16,049 --> 00:45:18,985
The entire ballpark is
on the edge of their seats
1003
00:45:19,686 --> 00:45:24,157
hoping for one more flash
of that classic Rocket heat.
1004
00:45:24,257 --> 00:45:26,426
[crowd cheering]
1005
00:45:36,403 --> 00:45:38,938
[* ominous music playing]
1006
00:45:43,043 --> 00:45:46,846
Hey, batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter, batter!
1007
00:45:56,556 --> 00:45:58,992
[crowd cheers]
1008
00:46:02,208 --> 00:46:06,765
[Charlie] Alright,
everybody up, let's go!
1009
00:46:06,766 --> 00:46:08,902
-Rocket!
-[crowd] Rocket!
1010
00:46:09,002 --> 00:46:10,970
Rocket! Rocket!
1011
00:46:11,071 --> 00:46:12,772
Rocket!
Rocket!
1012
00:46:12,872 --> 00:46:14,474
Rocket! Rocket!
1013
00:46:14,574 --> 00:46:16,509
Rocket! Rocket!
1014
00:46:16,609 --> 00:46:18,244
Rocket!
Rocket!
1015
00:46:18,345 --> 00:46:20,513
Rocket! Rocket!
1016
00:46:20,613 --> 00:46:22,315
Rocket!
Rocket!
1017
00:46:22,415 --> 00:46:24,250
Rocket! Rocket!
1018
00:46:24,351 --> 00:46:25,885
Rocket!
Rocket!
1019
00:46:25,985 --> 00:46:27,554
Rocket! Rocket!
1020
00:46:27,654 --> 00:46:30,056
[crowd fades]
Rocket! Rocket!
1021
00:46:30,156 --> 00:46:31,958
**
1022
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,296
-[ball thwacks]
-Strike!
1023
00:46:37,297 --> 00:46:38,932
Oh!
1024
00:46:43,036 --> 00:46:46,206
[crowd cheering]
1025
00:46:46,306 --> 00:46:48,241
Go, go, go, go!
1026
00:46:48,842 --> 00:46:50,010
Yeah!
1027
00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,986
I want all exits guarded.
1028
00:47:00,086 --> 00:47:01,287
Ball girl was right.
1029
00:47:01,388 --> 00:47:03,498
Our suspect is
"Rocket" Russell Waddell.
1030
00:47:04,524 --> 00:47:06,893
[indistinct radio chatter]
1031
00:47:15,468 --> 00:47:17,537
**
1032
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:23,176
Show 'em what you got, kid.
1033
00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:24,978
[crowd]
Rocket! Rocket!
1034
00:47:25,078 --> 00:47:26,880
Rocket!
Rocket!
1035
00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:28,848
Rocket! Rocket!
1036
00:47:28,948 --> 00:47:30,784
Rocket!
Rocket!
1037
00:47:30,884 --> 00:47:32,519
Rocket! Rocket!
1038
00:47:32,619 --> 00:47:34,521
Rocket!
Rocket!
1039
00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:37,123
[* "Glory Days" resumes}
1040
00:47:37,223 --> 00:47:38,558
* Yeah *
1041
00:47:39,325 --> 00:47:41,261
-* Come on *
-[ball thwacks]
1042
00:47:41,361 --> 00:47:42,629
* Whoo *
1043
00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:47,567
* Huh! *
1044
00:47:50,270 --> 00:47:54,207
* I had a friend was
a big baseball player *
1045
00:47:54,574 --> 00:47:57,243
* Back in high school *
1046
00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:02,315
* He could throw
that speedball by you *
1047
00:48:02,849 --> 00:48:05,652
* Make you look
like a fool, boy *
1048
00:48:06,586 --> 00:48:09,956
* Saw him the other night
at this roadside bar *
1049
00:48:10,056 --> 00:48:13,360
* I was walking in,
he was walking out *
1050
00:48:14,127 --> 00:48:18,365
* We went back inside,
sat down, had a few drinks *
1051
00:48:18,465 --> 00:48:22,369
* But all he kept
talking about was *
1052
00:48:22,469 --> 00:48:23,636
* Glory days *
1053
00:48:24,270 --> 00:48:27,741
* Well, they'll pass
you by, glory days *
1054
00:48:28,341 --> 00:48:32,078
* In the wink of a young
girl's eye, glory days *
1055
00:48:32,545 --> 00:48:35,949
* Glory days *
1056
00:48:37,384 --> 00:48:38,718
* Alright *
1057
00:48:38,818 --> 00:48:41,554
* Well, there's a girl
that lives up the block... *
1058
00:48:41,604 --> 00:48:46,154
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