Original subtitles

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me? ♪

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

Alan, no!

- Aw, why not, love? - You know why not.

Come on! What's wrong with ya?

Look, we are engaged.

I'm not gonna tell anyone, am I?

Have you got anything? You know?

I'll be careful.

No. It's not worth risking. We've waited this long.

I still love you.

Ah, well, that's all right, then, innit?

Alan!

I'm sorry!

You stupid beast!

Get the hell out of my garden!

Go on, get right out!

[indistinct]

Get out of it!

I know it wasn't your ambition to be a housewife,

but you're an half becomin' a good cook.

Oh, I'll get a job sooner or later.

Well, you could always stay at home for a bit.

Hm? And do what? Have children?

- Aye? - Isn't that what people do?

And we did say we wanted a family.

Yeah, eventually.

I'll have a baby when I want one, not because I've nothing else to do.

Good.

So what are you gonna do this afternoon?

I know what I'd like to do.

I'd like to go for a long walk across the moor.

Then come back and have hot toasted teacakes by the hearth.

And then...

make love in front of a roaring fire.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

But you have to go to work.

I'll be home by six.

Get the fire going.

MUSIC: 'Good Golly Miss Molly' By The Swinging Blue Jeans

Mr. Sykes.

Constable.

Three times, Mr. Rowan. And now this.

Oh, dear.

- Is this of value, Mr. Sykes? - Beyond price to me.

That woman and her damned horse!

Well, what am I to do?

Well, you could bring an action against Miss Lambton.

You've got to do something about her!

Well, we'd better catch him first.

DOOR OPENS

You naughty, naughty boy. What ever am I going to do with you?

That's what I want to know, madam. This can't go on.

There's nothing I can do, officer.

Leave Apollo alone for five minutes and off he goes exploring,

like Marco Polo.

Well, something's got to be done, Miss Lambton.

If Mr. Sykes were to sue, it could cost you a packet.

Oh, let him sue.

I've no money. It all goes on this little darling.

Well, Mr. Sykes reckons that this "little darling" of yours

has done a considerable amount of damage.

Stupid man. All he cares about is cabbages, weeds and cabbages.

He does have the right to enjoy his garden

without your horse trampling all over it.

But he's such a good jumper.

He just sails over the fences.

Well, this time you run a serious risk of prosecution.

You'll have to keep him secure.

Surely not. He's such an independent spirit.

Then, why can't you tether him?

- Tether him? Apollo?! - Yes.

He's not a dog, constable!

Hello, Sandra.

Nick's not here at the moment.

Do you want to leave a message?

Actually, Mrs. Rowan, it's you I wanted to see.

Come on, Ian.

Come on.

I really fancy him.

Bet you don't get many girls who say "yeah" on the first day.

The thing is...

I've been talkin' to Alan's mum...

about the baby.

Is everything all right?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, it's fine. - Good.

And I wanted to talk to you, too.

Only it's a bit difficult to know where to start.

Well, the first thing is not to feel as if it's the end of the world.

Have you spoken to your parents yet?

Hang on, I'm not pregnant.

And I wanna stay that way an' all.

Alan's mum was telling me about the pill.

I know I should really be seeing Dr. Ferrenby.

The thing is, I feel happier talking to a woman about it.

And you did talk to Alan's mum.

Alan's mother is a bit older.

You can get pregnant just as easily at my age.

And she's married and has had six children.

And I thought you were different.

So you reckoned you could come to me and I'd say,

"Fine. Jump into bed with anybody you want,"

"all you have to do is take one little pill"

"and everything'll be all right."

But I don't wanna jump into bed with just anybody.

- Just with Alan? - Yeah!

So why not wait till you get married?

Because we don't wanna get married till his business gets going.

Till we've got some money together.

Me and Alan love each other. Why shouldn't we make love?

It's nearly happened a couple of times already.

And when it does happen, I don't want any mistakes.

I don't want us both landed with a bundle of trouble

before either of us are ready for it.

That's why I came to see you.

That's actually being responsible in my book.

Yes, it is.

Look, the trouble is Dr. Ferrenby's your GP.

I can't prescribe you the pill.

But what I can do is put you in touch

with the family planning clinic in York.

They'll be able to help.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Well, do you want to?

Of course I do.

Well, come on then.

I'm sorry, I don't know why.

Shut up!

I'm sorry!

It don't matter.

Honest.

Come on.

Come on, let's try again.

Not likely. Get off!

Hey, don't hurt!

Just because I don't feel like it there's no need to make fun.

Just because you can't do it, there's no need to take it out on me.

Who says I can't do it!

Don't go saying things like that!

You ???!

Bitch!

You bloody maniac! You should be locked up!

It was great. It made me feel like I was doing some good.

Anyway, well, I hope Alan's grateful.

Sandra's the one who'd be left... holding a baby.

I don't think Alan gives a damn.

My dad used to do this.

So did mine.

They way she looked at me, it was like I was...

the wisest woman in the world.

Well, you were telling her what she wanted to hear.

I was telling her what she needed to know.

It's nice to feel useful again.

Nick! Nick, you're setting the house on fire!

It's all right.

GLASS BREAKING

Hey, Jack! The barn's on fire!

You should have another word with Alex.

What, about a job?

Well, you've shown him what you can do.

There must be some things that even he'd rather leave to a woman.

Oh, yeah. Washing, ironing, cleaning.

He could be right, you know? PHONE RINGS

- You... - I'll get it.

I'll get you!

MUSIC: 'Help!' By The Beatles

Yes!

He's here.

- Hiya. - We've got something for you.

- What's this? - Don't spoil t'surprise.

- What's this? - What's it look like?

I know what it is.

What's it doing 'ere?

An angry Scotsman brought it in.

A bloke called Sykes.

I think it was a comment about you.

You what?

Not getting results.

Now, listen, Laurel and Hardy, what's going on?

The Greek god has been on the rampage again.

Apollo.

Trampled Sykes' seedlings.

Very pained, he was.

He said that you promised you'd sort it out.

I'll have another word with that woman.

In the meantime, what am I supposed to do with this?

Do you wanna tell him, Alf, or should I?

Well, it's evidence, Nick, lad.

I should file it, I suggest under the letter S.

You like filing, do you, Ventress?

Er... oh, yes.

Good.

Rowan, my office, now.

And we'll leave this little package for Constable Bellamy to dispose of.

My roses, Bellamy, if you can't think of anything better.

Sarge.

Two suspicious hay barn fires in as many months.

What are you doing about it, Constable?

Well, I took some statements last night, Sergeant.

One from the farmer, Mrs. Helen Briggsby.

- She mentioned a motorbike. - Motorbike?

Yeah, she heard it passing some time after five o'clock.

Made quite a racket, apparently. Interfered with her TV.

Her little niece was hopping mad. She was trying to watch Crackerjack.

Crackerjack.

Yeah, well, something wrong with the exhaust, I reckon.

And you reckon this motorbike belongs to the arsonist, do you?

Well, I did find motorbike tyre tracks just outside the barn, Sergeant.

And... I also found this inside.

A necklace.

So now, you reckon this arsonist on this motorbike is a woman?

Well, I don't know, Sergeant.

No.

You don't actually know a lot, do you, Constable?

It's a start, though, Sergeant.

I'm not interested in starts, Constable.

I'm only interested in finishes.

Who the hell does he think I am? Sherlock Holmes?

Where was the other fire?

Before your time.

- Elsinby. - Aye?

E-L-S-I-N-B-Y.

Ah. "Suspected arson."

"Loss of hay and barn."

"Noise of motorbike disturbed farmer just before fire discovered."

Elementary... my dear Rowan.

All alone?

It's not like you.

Well, it's not surprising, is it? Not with this.

How did you do that?

This fella took me for a ride. Terrific bike.

Ended up in a barn on the moor.

I was willing.

When it come to it, he couldn't do it.

So I started to laugh.

So he hit you?

You can say that again.

Who was he?

Ah, you don't know him.

A lad from Manningby, Ian.

I don't know his surname.

He could've really injured you

giving you a whack like that, you know?

Yeah, I know.

I quite envy you sometimes, having someone steady.

Yeah. I'm a lucky girl.

I'm sorry, Maggie.

CAR HORN BEEPS

I'll only be two minutes, young man!

I'm sorry. You'll have to move it.

Two minutes, that's all!

MUSIC: 'You're No Good' By The Swinging Blue Jeans

Mr. Greengrass.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to do my civic duty.

Something will have to be DONE about that young man.

I'll get you for obstruction next time.

I wasn't obstructing, I was just tryin' to do my civic duty.

- I shall report you to the Council. - Go on, clear off.

I'm fed up with you lot.

What was all that about?

Oh, some cock-and-bull story about poachers, or something.

Claude Jeremiah Greengrass, poacher turned gamekeeper?

What's he up to?

Well, to tell you the truth, we didn't let him get that far.

We just told him we were applying the first rule of Ashfordly policing.

Never believe a single word that Claude Jeremiah Greengrass...

I agree, Constable.

And I've got other fish to fry.

PC Rowan...

in 'ere, now!

So, what have you been doing?

Pullin' your pud again?

Constable, do your flies up.

THEY LAUGH

Yes, Sergeant?

I thought you should have the chance to comment on this, PC Rowan...

before I pass it on to the Superintendent.

It's all about you.

- Bloody woman. - A complaint? Who from?

A Miss Angela Hamilton, JP.

A magistrate?

Yeah. Professional committee member.

Parish Council, Women's Institute, you name it.

I booked her car the other day for causing an obstruction.

Oh, God.

Yeah, well, she claims she was on vital Council business

and asked Blaketon to drop the matter.

- I think he's scared of her. - Was she?

On Council business?

Nah, she was in the fishmonger's.

Yeah, well, he's on the Council, too, but I think...

It's a load of old cod.

Exactly.

PHONE RINGS

- Hello? - Dr. Ferrenby?

- Yeah? - The new village policeman...

or rather, his wife.

Kate Rowan, yes?

Is she qualified as a doctor?

Mm-mm. Yes.

Well, it seems she's setting up in opposition to you.

- I know you're not on duty... - Well, he's never off duty.

...but seeing as you're here...

those two blokes over there.

I heard them talking while I was collecting glasses.

Didn't pay any attention at first.

I thought they were just fishermen getting in a bit of late sport.

But I heard one of them discussing...

what size nets to use.

Do you think they're poachers?

Thanks, George.

Just thought you should know. Civic duty, really.

I think we might've known that already.

Claude Jeremiah told us a similar story.

Greengrass?

He came into the station talking about some gang of poachers.

We just thought he'd fallen out with mates.

CAR HORN, SCREECHING BRAKES

CRASH

That bloody animal.

Are you all right? HE GROANS

What is it? What's happened?

It's Apollo, Miss Lambton. I'm afraid there's been an accident.

Apollo? Oh, no.

A car and a bike were involved.

Tell me he's all right.

- The cyclist has minor injuries... - Well, Apollo! He's not dead?!

- The horse is fine, Miss Lambton. - Oh, thank God.

But people could've be killed. Your horse caused the accident.

- Where is he? I must see him. - You can't, I'm afraid.

Not tonight, anyway.

I told you three times...

that if you couldn't control your animal, then steps will be taken.

Steps? What have you done with him?

He's in the animal pound.

You've taken him away?!

And he'll stay there until my Superintendent decides

whether to press charges.

Well, you can't take him away from me!

Don't worry, he'll be well looked after, Miss Lambton.

Good night.

Everything went really well.

I'll pick up the prescription next week.

I'm pleased for you, Sandra.

So's Alan. He's been getting a bit impatient.

Well, just remind him he can't afford to live dangerously.

Not until the pill takes effect.

I'll make sure of that.

A girl I know has been livin' a bit dangerously.

She went out with some biker from Manningby.

Got herself knocked about a bit.

Dreadful bruise she's got.

Do I know her?

Girl called Maggie. She hangs around the pub a lot.

He took her to some barn, or other, that's where it happened.

- So you mean he just beat her up? - Yeah.

- That's terrible. - She should be all right.

Thanks for the lift.

That's just Miss Hamilton. Take no notice.

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Police.

Kate?

Alex, how are you?

I was wondering if I could come over and see you?

Yes, of course.

This evening.

Alex, is something wrong?

I'll tell you later, if you don't mind?

Shall we say eight o'clock, then?

Fine.

It wasn't a consultation.

It was just a piece of friendly advice.

Any woman would've done the same.

Anyway, what would you have done if Sandra Murray had come to you?

I would've acted in her best interests.

In her best interests, or according to your prejudices?

I beg your pardon?

I hope I always act in my patients' best interests.

So, what would you have done?

I would probably have counselled restraint.

But you wouldn't have prescribed the pill?

Sandra Murray is not married.

Unless there are good medical reasons for prescribing...

What about good social reasons?! Remember Mrs. Maskell?

A quite different case.

In my view, drugs shouldn't be prescribed for social reasons.

And whatever your pop stars may say on television,

I still believe in morality.

Where's the morality in unwanted pregnancies?

Precisely. And I am saying, what about self-control?

Alex, we're not living in Utopia.

We have to deal with ordinary, fallible humans.

Doctors are fallible, too, you know? And scientists.

You know as well as I do how much the pill affects the hormone system.

Patients are examined regularly.

And I would certainly recommend a rest period every few years.

I see. So, you've got it all worked out, aye?

Free copulation, courtesy of the NHS.

- Alex, please! - But at what cost, in the end?

Do you know? Do you care?

Oh, I know, I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.

I'm past it. I'm square.

How did you know I'd spoken to Sandra?

Hm? Have you forgotten how fast news travels in a village like this?

If you want to make your home here,

you'll have to learn to respect village opinion.

- Miss Hamilton? - And until I decide to retire,

I am the doctor in this village.

Yes, Doctor.

I've finally got through to you pointy-heads, have I?

Some new information came through, Mr. Greengrass.

DOOR OPENS

Alright.

What's all this about...

...poachers?

What's it worth? Five pounds?

Five pounds?

Yeah. Ask young Cockney here, he'll tell you.

All coppers have got a slush fund for tip-offs.

Not in Ashfordly they haven't!

I've seen it on the telly.

Greengrass!

A reward for information leading to an arrest.

The only arrest around 'ere, Greengrass, will be you,

if you don't tell me what you know...

and right now an' all.

It's a gang from York.

The word is they're going to hit Lord Ashfordly's river this week.

Whereabouts on the river? There's miles of it.

Are you sure I don't get any money for this?

Not even a cup of tea?

Oh, I think we might run to a cup of tea, mightn't we, Sergeant?

In return for some real information.

I wouldn't say no to a biscuit.

Now, then, Greengrass...

let's have your information.

Well, I'll tell you, but only because

I don't think it's right these outsiders coming in,

stealin' our fish,

er, stealing young Lord Ashfordly's fish.

Get on with it, man.

Victoria Bend, I've heard. Tonight.

Victoria Bend?

Yeah, one of the best poaching spots on the river an' all.

So I've heard, like.

Where's my biscuit?

Let's go to the pub, I fancy a drink.

Now, don't let Ferrenby get to you, love.

Are you coming?

What about my supper?

Well, get a bag of crisps, or something.

Now, come on, love, sit down.

I can't go for a drink, I'm on duty later.

Well, you're off duty now.

But I'm on duty tonight.

And you know Blaketon.

Tell him to mind his own business.

He's as bad as Alex.

You can't compare him to Alex.

Of course you can!

I mean, look at them, they're both set in their ways.

Anything new is a heresy, a personal insult.

Blaketon might be a pain in the arse, but he's a good copper.

I'd like to drag this place into the 20th century.

I mean, who the hell does Alex think he is?!

Sandra Murray couldn't talk to him

about contraception in a million years.

He's still applying leeches.

HE LAUGHS It's not funny.

Any decision on Miss Hamilton?

Aye. The file has gone upstairs.

I think this time she'll have to pay her fine.

I see.

So we'd better keep our heads down for a bit?

"We", Rowan?

Oh, no. You.

Well, I am the new boy, I suppose.

Aye, and a foreigner.

Oh, thank you, Sergeant.

Nevertheless, you're keen, enthusiastic.

But just go careful.

Remember, fools rush in...

WHISPERING: Right, how many?

WHISPERING: There's two of them. Bellamy's on the other bank.

- Well, come on, let's get 'em. - Shh!

- Have they got a net with tackle? - It's clear what they're up to.

Aye, to you and me, maybe.

But magistrates are queer creatures.

I don't want two flyboys from York telling them

they got lost walking their dog.

No. When they actually put their nets in the water...

...you grab 'em.

Police! You're under arrest!

Very satisfying! Very satisfying, indeed.

I do like to let my officers know when they've done well.

So...

- Ventress... - Ah, ta, Sarge.

- Bellamy... - Ah, thanks, Sarge.

- Rowan. - Thank you, Sergeant.

Very tasty, Sarge.

- Vegetarian, are you? - He's on a diet.

PHONE RINGS There's only one of these.

Ashfordly Police.

Lord Ashfordly here, get me your Sergeant.

It's Lord Ashfordly for you.

Sergeant Blaketon.

Where the devil have you fellas been all night?

We've just caught two poachers at Victoria Bend.

Two?! Good God, man!

While you lot were sitting on your backsides,

ten of the buggers were emptying my best pool!

No. Did you say ten?

Damned incompetence, I call it!

Doziest bunch of clod-hopping, flat-footed featherbrain loafers

I've ever come across! I'll be onto the Chief Inspector in the morning!

Now, just you listen to me.

I'll not have you, or anyone, insulting my men.

They did a damn fine job for you tonight.

And you can't expect me to police the entire river!

That's your keeper's job!

And if you want any more assistance, I'll need an apology...

SLAMS RECEIVER DOWN

...M'Lord.

Well...

I really enjoyed that.

Mmm.

Ventress, tomorrow morning...

...bring in Greengrass.

We've been had.

Alfred!

Come 'ere!

I'll have you gelded! Oh-ho.

What's this?

It's all right, they're grilled, not poached.

Did his Lordship phone back?

I think he was too stunned.

I've never seen Blaketon like that before.

For once, I'm on his side.

You can't have one law for the rich and powerful

and another for the rest of us.

Lord Ashfordly only wants the police

for his own private army of gamekeepers.

Exactly.

People who really need the police tend to stay away from them.

Now, that's not true, love.

Oh, no?

I heard about a girl who got beaten up by some yob last week.

She hasn't been near you lot.

Why not?

That's difficult for someone in her position.

I mean, how do you think Blaketon would respond to a girl who says,

"I was in a barn having a bit of slap and tickle,"

"and this bloke beat me up"?

- What's this girl's name? - Maggie.

- Do you know where the barn was? - No.

Sandra said they went off on a motorbike somewhere.

Sandra?

- What's this bloke's name? - I don't know.

Right. I've gotta go.

Nick, what about your breakfast?

It's nowt much, but it's got everything I need.

And it meant I could chuck my job in at t'shop.

I'm glad it's all working out for you.

Business good?

Nowt much yet. Just a couple of services.

A new clutch on a Velocette

and a new exhaust on a Triumph Tiger 90.

A new exhaust?

Aye. Some lad from Manningby.

Anyroad, what can I do for you?

Well actually, it was Sandra I came to see.

About that friend of yours, got herself beaten up.

Maggie? She's not a friend really,

she's just someone I knew in school.

She's a bit... you know?

But she didn't deserve getting knocked about.

D'you know where I can find her?

She's usually in the pub.

But I don't know that she'd wanna make a complaint, or whatever it is.

Right.

Alan, this bloke from Manningby, you got his address?

There'll be an invoice somewhere.

What's it all about, then?

Ah, it's probably nothing.

Any chance of getting this Maggie to pop into the station tonight?

Say about half seven.

I don't know.

What if she doesn't want to, you know, complain?

Well tell her we found something that we think belongs to her.

Miss Lambton's put the horse in a livery stable, Mr. Sykes.

I think your garden should be safe now.

Yeah, I know I said that last time, but I hardly think the horse

is gonna travel all the way from Elsinby

just to wreck your garden, sir.

Right. My pleasure.

- Is Greengrass here, yet? - Not yet, Sarge.

- Ooh, Sarge, about the arson case... - Not now, Rowan, go and get Greengrass.

- Sergeant. - Now!

How was Lord Ashfordly, Sarge?

Well, er...

he said he saw my point of view, Ventress.

Oh. Good, Sarge.

Yes. Well, he's a very reasonable man, his Lordship.

He understood completely when I explained

the demands made on the modern police force.

Oh, good.

I wouldn't have wanted to spend another night on that river bank.

However...

we can't turn a blind eye to crimes of that magnitude.

Er... what have you done with your coat, Sarge?

Well, I...

I visited the scene of the crime with Lord Ashfordly.

Well, I had to show willing, after all.

I'm sure you did.

And to make sure that gang doesn't come back,

we're gonna have an obvious police presence on the river

for the next two weeks.

And since I can't think of anyone more obvious...

Ventress...

...you're there tonight.

The real story, Greengrass.

I want the real story and I want it now!

What real story would that be, sir?

And the names of the real poachers!

Not those Mickey Mouse decoys you put us on to!

Decoys? You caught 'em stealing fish, didn't you?

Aye. While their mates were stealing a bloody sight more

two miles downstream!

- Oh, and that's all my fault, is it? - Of course it is!

Just because you followed the wrong blokes.

Because YOU deliberately put us on the wrong track!

It's a good job there's no witnesses here, Mr. Blaketon,

that's all I can say.

Greengrass.

My solicitor'd have you for slander.

One day, Greengrass,

your solicitor will have me for murder.

Claude, my mam sent me up for t'salmon.

Aye?

Well, all the christening food's done apart from that,

and you said you'd let us have it today.

Ah, yeah, well, I've been thinkin' about that.

You don't really need salmon, do you?

- Don't we? - No, not for a christening.

You want summat like... pheasant, you know.

Summat a bit more classy, like.

Yeah, that's what you said about the salmon.

Like Queen has and that lot.

I know. Well, that's the trouble, you see?

Everybody has it. You want summat a bit special, don't you?

I've never had salmon. And we've paid for t'salmon.

I know that, but y'see... I've got these pheasants.

They've been hanging for about a week. I'm not kidding.

They're fantastic and I'll tell you the honest truth.

They're more expensive than fish, but seeing as you're an old pal,

you can have 'em for the same price.

Looks like I'll have to go and get me dad.

No need to get your dad involved.

No. Not if you have a salmon waiting for me when I come back tomorrow.

Alfred! This is all your fault, ain't it?

[indistinct]

It could be just coincidence, of course.

But you will prosecute him for assault?

The girl might not turn up to identify him.

And even if she does, she might declare undying love for him.

If she's any sense, she'll make sure he doesn't take liberties with anyone else.

Even if he is the one who beat her up,

it still doesn't make him our arsonist.

If it happened on the same night?

We'll see.

Right.

I best be off.

Nick, Mrs. Maskell wants me to be the godmother. What d'you think?

I think you'd look great in a tutu and a magic wand in your hand.

- I'm serious. - What's the problem?

Well, I've never been asked before.

Aye, listen...

neither that baby or Mrs. Maskell would be here now

if you hadn't been at the birth.

It's a huge responsibility.

I mean, I'd have to make sure she was brought up properly,

goes to Sunday School.

You'll cope.

It's nice to be asked.

I suppose so.

And we did want to be accepted here.

Right.

Just promise me one thing.

What?

When you hold that baby in your arms,

you won't start fancyin' one of your own.

- Tell you what I do fancy. - What?

An early night.

He-he. What number?

55.

Here we go. 61...

Fifty sss...

- ...57. Here we go. - Here we are.

Hey!

D'you think he's been tipped off?

No chance.

Catch up with him, we could do him for speeding.

- Lost him. - Miss the street lights, do ya?

So what, now? Time to go home?

Elsinby's a while back, then Briggsby's barn.

I think we should check a few.

There must be hundreds, Nick.

Well, Janet will just have to wait, won't she?

Or was it Linda tonight?

An hour. Okay?

- And then I'm going. - Right.

What did you have to tell the police for?

I didn't. I told his wife.

Well, he's a copper, ain't he?

- They pick on you, don't they? - Mr. Rowan's all right.

Anyway, he asked me to tell you they found something

they think belongs to you.

Something personal.

Did he say what?

There's only one way to find out.

Come on. I'll go with you.

Sorry, love.

Aye. Hey, look!

This had better be it.

It's definitely his.

- Put that out! - Come on, son.

So what are you gonna do me for? Trespassing?

You think I'd be wasting my time on trespass?

Even if I could do you for that.

So, why are you wasting my time?

How about assault...

...occasioning actual bodily harm?

Who am I supposed to have hit?

I was on me own, remember?

This time. What about last week?

Or do you thump so many women,

you can't remember beating up a girl called Maggie?

- I don't know any girls called Maggie. - That was in a barn, too.

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

She left this behind.

We found it in the barn.

You've got the wrong bloke, mister.

Can I go, now? Only, I've got a date.

You still haven't told me what you were you doin' in that barn?!

Nowt! Havin' a fag!

Dangerous places to smoke, hay barns. They burn down.

Elsinby, a while back and then Briggsby's.

Or were they both "accidents"?

Look, I don't know any girls called Maggie

and I don't set fire to barns.

Now unless there's summat else, I'm goin', you can't keep me...

Sit down and wait there!

All right, Phil.

You can come this way, Maggie.

This is Maggie Braithwaite.

Hello, Maggie.

This way.

What's he doin' 'ere?

Do you know this man?

Yeah. He's the one who beat me up.

- I never hit no-one! - Yes, you did!

You can't get it up, so you took it out on me, you bastard!

What's going on?!

You're nowt without that bike between your legs!

And you wonder why I cracked her?!

You wanna lock him up, mister, he's sick!

It's not me who's sick. It's her, laughin' at me.

Of all the bloody serious stupid tart...

That's enough!

D'you recognise this, Maggie?

Yeah, it's mine.

It was a present from my mum.

He snatched it off me in the barn.

Well, we'll have to keep it for a while.

It'll be required as evidence.

Be a pleasure.

That's all for now. Thank you, Maggie.

Okay, Sandra!

- I'll see you get your necklace back. - Right.

We'll be in touch.

- Thanks, ladies. Good night. - Good night.

I've heard about blokes like you before.

Only way they can get their kicks is fire-raising.

Setting something ablaze... like a barn.

- No! That's crap! - It's not, is it, son?

You need help.

I'll tell you what I don't need.

Clever cows like her laughin' at me.

They think they know.

Nobody knows!

Oh, they do, son.

Ian Clayton, you're not obliged to say anything

unless you wish to do so.

But what you say will be taken down and may be given in evidence.

Well done, Rowan.

Let's hope they lock him up and throw away the key.

I'm not sure prison would do Ian Clayton much good.

Serious offence, lad. Judge and jury.

No, what I mean is, I think he needs help.

A psychiatrist, that sort of thing.

Is this your wife's influence, by any chance?

No, Sergeant.

Just because a lad imagines he's James Bond,

that's no reason to waste ratepayers' money on head-shrinkers.

No, Sergeant.

Now, what about Greengrass?

I've never been a godmother before.

I must say, I rather like it.

You'll do it fine.

Thanks for everything, Mrs. Rowan.

Mrs. Maskell.

Oh, I'm so glad you could come, Sergeant.

- Mrs. Rowan. - Sergeant.

Well, that's very nice.

What is it? Male, or female?

She's called Francesca, Sergeant.

Ooh. Very nice.

There's cream cakes for afters, you know?

Everyone in the village has chipped in with something.

WHISPERING: Cream cakes.

Sergeant, Sergeant...

I still think we might have been a bit hasty with Greengrass.

Hasty?

He might not have been involved in that poaching business.

He could've been set up, same as us.

You may be a clever dick from London, Rowan,

who solved the arson business, but hereabouts,

there are some things that don't change.

And one of those is never give that man the benefit of t'doubt.

Salmon.

Salmon!

Greengrass!

It's all right, Sergeant.

He'll keep till another day.

HE SIGHS

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