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- No, no, Joe, let me pack the car, Joe.

You go inside and you enjoy yourself

and let me pack your car because you are going

and I'm coming along and I'm just apparently your chauffeur.

Okay, I'm leaving.

Take care of yourself.

I'll call from the road.

Don't worry. - Okay.

I love you.

- I love you too. We're going to miss you.

Have a safe, great trip. Enjoy yourself.

- I will.

Okay.

- This is fucking happening.

- Yeah.

- Fuck.

- You ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.

Are you ready? - I am ready.

- You have everything. You didn't leave anything?

- I did not leave a single thing.

I triple checked the car while you were inside.

We're like all set to go.

- Okay, perfect. Perfect.

- Actually, did you say bye to my parents?

- No. No, I didn't actually say bye to your parents.

- Okay. I mean, they may mention that, but like, it's fine.

Did you say thank you?

Like, thanks for letting me stay?

- No, I didn't say thank you.

- All right. No, it's fine.

I'll just text them.

I'll text them and say, "Mike says thank you for..."

"Hey, thanks for letting me stay at your place."

Thank you. Thank you.

- Okay, Mike. - Goodbye.

- Have a good trip.

- Enjoy yourself. - Take care of each other.

- I said bye. - Okay, all right.

- I said thank you, I said goodbye.

- Hey, well then, we're ready.

You went to the bathroom when you were in there, right?

Yeah, I went to the bathroom,

but I think you're just stalling.

We're going to have to hit the road.

Yeah, maybe you're right. All right, let's go.

Come on. This is exciting.

You're moving cross country.

I know, I know. It's cool, right?

It's awesome.

♪ Darling, take my mind ♪

- So I'll count down from three. Three, two, one.

And we have to try and say,

well, the first one you say randomly.

After that, we are trying to say the same word.

- Yeah.

- All right. Ready?

- Three, two, one.

- Lottery. - Porcupine.

- Gambling. - Scratch off.

- Reward. - Gift.

- Three, two, one.

- Present. - Given.

- Birthday. - Party.

- Guests. - Age.

Age and guess? You said guess.

- Guests like, T, T-S.

- Guests and age.

Oh God. We're terrible.

- Grow. - Clone.

- What'd you say? - I said grow.

- Grow and clone.

Three, two, one.

- Science. - Science.

Hey, that was good, I guess.

All right, let's do it one more time.

- All right, all right.

Wow.

Look, dude, I got a hat.

- Very nice. Nice. - Like it?

Yeah, man. It's fine.

Do you see this?

- Yeah, this is amazing.

That's why I was like, "I got to get a hat."

Got to remember this.

How do you think they found it here?

- How do I think they found this place?

- Like do you think someone just like stumbled upon this

and they're like, "Oh wow, people should see this."

Or like... I think one person found it.

I think they told someone else and then they told somebody

and then people just started coming here.

And I think it became popular

and people were obviously amazed,

and then I think they made a national park, you know?

- Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Do you think they had like a thought, like,

because you know, like,

this is beautiful, but like, you think they had a thought,

like, "This is different from other nature.

Like people need to see this."

- I mean, I think someone came here

and sat on the rock we're sitting on,

and they looked out at this... This exact rock.

- Yeah, and they thought this needs to be saved

for generations and generations and generations.

They need to see the beautiful American landscape preserved

as closely as it can be.

There's no giant retail stores.

There's no Walmarts, no Targets.

This is I think, what life is.

We also paid like 30 bucks.

Yeah. Maybe I should buy a hat.

Do a couple.

Can you take one more?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What could I... - No, it's just me.

Oh, okay.

You just didn't like your smile or something?

All right, one of those.

- You're good. - Okay. Cool.

Let's go.

I'm so hungry.

Me too.

Hey, Siri. What's the best seafood in Bar Harbor?

The highest rated one I see is Sea Ray Lobster.

Check it out.

- She's the best.

Hmm, this is so good.

It's delicious.

- The cheese melted on the lobster. Amazing.

- This actually reminds me of this patty melt in Chicago

that is unbelievable.

We have to get it when we go there.

- Does it have meat on it?

- Yeah, it's a patty melt.

- I can't eat meat.

But you're eating lobster.

- I'm a pescetarian. I eat fish.

I don't eat meat.

- Okay.

Okay, all right.

How long have you been a pescetarian?

- Yeah, a few months, you know?

I thought I told you. Haven't we eaten since?

- I think the last time I ate with you,

we were eating chicken wings.

I love chicken wings.

- You were literally licking your fingers.

- I love chicken wings. I just can't have them anymore.

- Would you break it?

No, not going to break it.

- So we're going to be traveling through

some of the best food cities in America,

some of the best places to eat food,

and you're not going to eat any of the food.

- I'm sorry.

I'll still get something at these places.

Like I'm sure these places,

they don't only have a famous patty melt or burger.

They probably also have like famous fries or something.

I'll just eat that, you know?

- All right.

You should try it with the hot sauce.

- I don't like hot sauce. I don't like anything spicy.

- Oh.

Oh, that was my other friend.

- Maybe by San Francisco.

Maybe we dip a chicken wing in that hot sauce.

Maybe.

- All right. - We'll see.

- We'll see.

If you could convince me.

Hello.

Hey, it's me.

- Joseph. - Yeah.

I didn't know it was you.

- It's because I'm calling you from a phone booth.

That's funny.

- Yeah, I saw one and thought it would be funny to call.

How are you doing? Are you doing okay?

- Yeah, we're doing good.

We are just camping and hiking and-

- Shit, I have to go. Your father needs me.

Is everything all right?

- Yeah. No, it's fine.

I just wanted to check in.

- I have to go. - Can I talk to you later?

- Yeah, you're busy. Okay.

I'll call you back later.

Okay. Love you.

All right, bye.

How they doing?

They're good.

You know, just doing my dad's shit.

Yeah.

Tough, man. I'm sorry.

It's alright.

Should we pull up a map?

Hey Siri, can you give me directions

to Syracuse, New York?

Getting directions to Syracuse.

Hey, how's it going?

- What's up, buddy?

How's the trip? Come on in.

Hey.

- It's good to see you.

- Colin. Nice to meet you. - Mike.

- Nice to meet you, man. - That's Mike.

Take your shoes off, please.

- Take our shoes off? - Yeah.

Shoes off.

- When was the last time you talked to Will?

- Dude, I haven't talked to him in,

- it's been a while. - Since graduation.

- Yeah, yeah.

I was thinking the other day.

Do you remember when we were in Prague?

- His birthday?

His birthday in Prague.

Do you remember? - Yes.

- Like we all went to that bar.

- Yeah. - And we all got

pretty drunk that night.

But then the next day, he was like still drunk.

- Yeah, he woke me up at 9:00 AM to go to a corner store,

bought himself a flask.

- Oh my God, the flask. I remember that.

- And he bought the shittiest malt liquor

I've ever tasted in my life.

- Yeah, it was terrible. - It's like 36 hours.

- He just kept it going. - Yeah.

- And remember we had that like tour

and the tour guide could just like tell,

it wasn't discrete at all.

- It's like his 23rd birthday.

It wasn't even like a big deal.

No, it wasn't

like an occasion, it was just a birthday.

Oh, man. Yeah.

I mean, I hope he's not still doing that stuff.

Yeah, that'd be rough.

- That would be bad. - That's rough.

Where'd you go to school?

- Oh, I went to community college for like a year or two.

- Oh, me too.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I actually went for two years and then transferred.

Like, best decision of my life.

Saved so much money.

- Awesome. Yeah, I went for like a year or two myself.

And yeah, I don't know.

I was just getting fucked up a lot

and it ended up not really making sense for me,

but it was a good time while I was there.

- Yeah, for sure. No responsibilities.

Just like fuck around the whole time.

I just like, I don't know,

sit in the back of the class

throw in like a Grizzly wintergreen.

- Grizzly wintergreen?

- Yeah. - Long cut or pouches?

Long cut.

- Oh.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Now we're talking.

Oh, hell yeah.

- It's been a while, but that was my thing.

- No. No, same.

It was like a year or two ago I stopped packing.

Yeah.

- But man, do I miss it.

- The best.

A nice fat lip.

- Yeah. - Nothing beats it.

- Yeah.

- I used to play baseball.

I didn't do tobacco, but a lot of people did. Yeah.

- Yeah, I stopped playing like junior high.

- Do you have a tin?

I don't. Like, I really try to stop.

I have like seeds.

I could fuck around with some seeds.

- Yeah? - Want to pack

- some seeds? - Yeah,

let me get some seeds. Joe, seeds?

- Sure. Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Mr. Dunnington's like, he was six or seven years old.

- I think the first time I caught him doing it,

it was like, what the fuck is happening?

Oh, I'm glad you brought this guy. He's great.

Yeah. What are you guys talking about?

- We were just talking about this story

he was telling about this girl and...

That doesn't matter.

- Shooting shit. - Yeah.

Cool, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

I liked your friend.

Yeah?

Yeah.

That's good.

- Was he a close friend?

- Yeah, we were really close in school.

Yeah, it's strange to see him now. It's weird.

- Yeah? Why is that?

- I don't know, just,

the dynamic is a little different.

I haven't seen him in a while

and it's strange to go from like seeing him

every weekend almost at school to,

like, I don't know.

I haven't seen him like a year. Once a year.

Not even.

- I mean, I get that.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I mean, living in town right after everyone graduated,

still going to community college there.

I ended up seeing like all my friends so much less

just because you guys all went off to college.

So I mean, I get it.

- That's true.

Yeah, you're right.

It's a normal thing. It's to be expected.

Part of adulthood.

I guess, I'm just...

You're right, maybe I'm just experiencing it now

for the first time.

- Yeah.

And you know what? It's not so bad.

You get used to it.

This is amazing.

- So is this like the biggest waterfall in America or?

- I don't know, to be honest with you.

I have no idea.

- I don't know either.

What is this? Do you know?

- You know, it's Niagara Falls.

- Yeah, but like, why do people come here?

Why do people come here?

- Do you know anything about this?

- You know, I don't think I know anything.

I know Canada's over there.

- Yeah, I know Canada's over there.

I just don't know anything about this.

- It's Niagara Falls. It's big.

It's blue. It's beautiful.

I read a sign it said 75,000 gallons.

It was either a year or a month.

- Maybe a day. - You don't even know.

- I don't even know that.

- How do we not know anything about this? We came here.

- We drove here, and we didn't look up anything.

Millions of people come here.

- And we know nothing.

- We know nothing about this.

- Niagara Falls.

- We should read a sign or something.

- Yeah, we should. - Let's read a sign.

Okay, this is just a map. There's no information.

There's ticketing and information. Should we go there?

- Yeah. - Yeah, let's... Let's do that.

There's a Nikola Tesla statue.

There's a Nikola Tesla statue?

What is this? All right, they're closed.

All they have is brochures, man.

- I'm over it. - I'm done.

Let's get Taco Bell. - All right.

Old Fort Niagara.

- So good.

I should've asked for hot sauce.

Fuck.

I like going between my items.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

This worked out. I should have asked for fucking hot sauce.

- You sure you have the right one?

- Yeah, black bean.

- I don't have any meat in this.

I'll throw this away.

- Can you get me hot sauce?

Cheers.

- This is good. - That's really good.

- Did I ever tell you my dad gave me my first sip of beer

when I was like 12?

He didn't even tell.

He didn't tell my mom or anything.

He just gave me a little sip.

- My dad used to give me some at baseball games.

Him and my grandpa.

I used to order the beer for my grandpa.

The guy at the stadium, he liked that.

And eventually fought to the top of one

of the most challenging professions in the world.

He said everything's ready for us.

Oh, awesome.

- Dude, you're going to love my friend.

He's like a real party guy.

Hey.

- What? - Did he just go to sleep?

- No, he just went upstairs.

- He said, "See you guys tomorrow." And then yawned.

There's no way. It's like 8:00 PM.

That's what I'm saying. It's 8:00 PM.

- Yeah. I'm brushing my teeth, we're going out.

- That's what I thought, but I don't know.

Kept talking about he's got to get up early in the morning.

Why would he keep saying that?

Do you hear that?

- Yeah, it sounds like music.

See? He's awake.

- He just texted me goodnight with a sleepy emoji.

Fuck, I thought we were going to hang out.

- So he's really going to sleep?

- What are we going to do?

I can't go to sleep at 8:00.

- How well do you know this guy?

- I know him pretty well. I thought he was a cool guy.

- I don't know.

I don't like this guy.

- I'm starting not to like him either.

- How about you text him and say like,

"Hey, do you want to hang out?"

Is that too...

Did he just... What the fuck?

He just turned the lights off.

What the fuck?

Oh dude, fuck this guy.

- All right. I guess I'm going to sleep.

I'm going to go upstairs and talk to him

and tell him about it. - Don't talk to him,

don't talk- I'm going to go

talk to him. - He's my friend.

No, he doesn't know you.

It's just fine, just- I don't care.

This is ridiculous.

It's 8:00 PM, he's shut off the lights like we're children.

- It's very early. It's early, yeah.

It's like we're fucking kids.

- And then he gives us one bedroom.

That breakfast your friend made this morning

was delicious.

- Yeah, it was great.

I really didn't expect that.

- Yeah.

- And to be honest with you,

he was totally right about going to sleep early.

- Yeah, I got like eight or nine hours of sleep.

It was great.

- Imagine if we went out, we would've been exhausted.

What a great guy.

Great guy.

- Is that Mars?

- Yeah.

- That's awesome.

- Yeah, the stars are unreal here.

- You think we'll ever go there?

- To Mars?

- Yeah.

- We've been to Mars. - No, like personally.

- Like will you go to Mars?

- Mm-hmm.

- No.

- I think it's possible.

- Is it possible that you go to Mars?

No.

- You got an opener? I need.

Oh, Mike, I make fun of Joe other days of trip

for drinking slow, but now he's fast and I am jealous.

And I am insecure.

- I think this is more my problem.

- And now I can't open the cap for him.

Actually, that's my problem. I need a bottle opener.

See that shit?

"If the president does it, it's legal."

That's what he said. - He did, he did say that.

- Yeah, yeah.

Millhouse. That's his middle name.

You know? - Richard Millhouse Nixon.

- Yeah. - Cheers.

To Nixon.

- To Nixon.

- Yeah, I have to say.

For a second, serious.

I have to say, it's been a really fun trip.

- I'm waiting for the joke.

- No, there's no joke.

Not everything's a joke, I'm being genuine.

- Okay. - Seriously.

- It's been a fun trip. - It's been nice.

- It's been a good trip. - I'm glad you came along.

- Yeah.

I'm glad I came along?

- Meaning I didn't know what you were doing.

Like I'm glad that you came along.

I don't know, I've known you a long time and like,

I'm glad.

Just fucking cheers me and then that's it.

Definitely going to Mars, man.

Definitely.

- It's my trip too.

- No, I know it's your trip.

I'm just saying thank you from my perspective, you know?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Of course it's your trip too, you know?

- Just the way you say it, like come along.

- Well, because like initially, yeah,

it was like I planned it and

I asked if you wanted to come along, you know?

I'm not saying that it's not your trip, but like,

I was going to go on it anyway, you know?

- Yeah.

♪ I close my eyes ♪

♪ Focus on the lotus ♪

♪ That's coming out of my heart ♪

♪ Breathe deep ♪

♪ And let go ♪

♪ And let go ♪

- Look how specific Washington and Jefferson are.

They got everything, He even has like a scarf.

He's got like a suit outline.

The cheeks are like done very specifically.

He's got even like a fucking chin butt.

But it seems like they did those two.

And then just like, by the time they got to Lincoln,

they just gave up.

Maybe it was a tough winter.

- I mean, but just as like a sculpture job.

It's just not that great.

They didn't even finish. - It's big.

- I know but like- - That's big.

- You have this and like, if you look at like, David,

statue of David, like... Statue of David?

- Isn't that what it's called? The David in Italy.

- Oh, in Italy? - Yeah.

- Statue of David in Italy.

- Oh, that's better than this. Yeah.

- It's like incredible statue work.

It's great work.

- This is like kind of subpar, to be honest.

That was like everything I needed.

That was a great day hike.

- Yeah, it was a pretty good hike.

- Do you feel good? Do you feel like that was a good hike?

- That was a good hike.

- Yeah.

But like, did you love it or you just,

you know, it was good? - Yeah. It was good.

- Yeah. I loved it.

That was like my favorite hike we've done so far.

- I'm very happy that you loved it. That's great for you.

- Yeah.

It's just so good, you know?

- Yeah. - And the trees and...

- Yeah, it was a good hike.

- The sun. - It was a great hike.

It was a great hike.

How about we just, you know, enjoy.

- I am enjoying. I enjoyed that hike.

I really enjoyed that hike.

- I understand you enjoyed that, you keep telling me.

- I know. I just want to talk about it though.

Feels like you don't want to talk about it.

I want to talk about the hike.

Like what boulder was your favorite?

- Oh my God, you're going to kill me.

You're going to kill me with boredom.

- You're bored? I thought you said it was a good hike.

- It was a good hike, but I don't have to like,

we don't have to go over every little detail, all right?

We can just- - I'm excited.

- Enjoy the hike- - I'm passionate.

- I'm happy that you're happy.

- Other people were smiling, I was smiling.

I smiled at other people. - You smiled.

Yeah, I saw that. - Everyone in their minds

was like, "This is a great hike."

- Yes. - And I don't know, you say it's a good hike.

- It was a good hike.

You think this is not weird?

- What, sipping whiskey?

- No, like two dudes in a jacuzzi drinking whiskey

in an Airbnb on vacation.

- What's weird about it? Why?

- Yeah, you're right. Nothing.

It's normal.

- What were you thinking?

- No, nothing. It's fine.

It's fine.

- Seems like something's on your mind.

- Nothing's on my mind. This is totally normal.

- You sure? Do you want to talk?

- No, I don't want to talk. This is fine.

- All right.

- You know, two guys in jacuzzi.

- Yeah, you mentioned that. - Yeah.

- What's up? What's up? - Nothing's up.

I'm just saying, you don't feel anything

with the two guys in the jacuzzi on vacation?

- Feel what? Fill me in.

- No, I'm just, you know, two dudes.

- Yes, we are men who identify as men.

- I'm just saying, don't you think it's a little...

This isn't, I don't want this to come off the wrong way,

but don't you think this is,

like two dudes in a jacuzzi?

- Yeah, you said that. What are you trying to say?

Just say it. - Don't you think this is a little gay?

- Oh, gay.

Yeah, it's a little gay.

Yeah. - It's a little gay, right?

- Yeah. That's fine though. - Yeah.

- I mean like,

I don't want to make out with you if that's what you want.

- No, I'm not saying it's a problem.

I'm just saying from the outside

if someone saw this. - Definitely. Definitely gay.

- They would say something.

- It's a little gay. Sure. - It's a little gay.

- It is a little gay.

- Sure. - Cheers. It's a little gay.

Which is totally fine.

If you're gay, if I'm gay.

- It's fine. We're not, but it's also fine if we are.

- Well, everyone's on the spectrum.

- Sure. Yeah, you're right.

- Hey, cheers to everyone being on the spectrum.

- Sure.

- All right, you want another?

- I'm actually okay.

- What?

- I just think like,

we're still going on that sunrise hike, right?

- I don't know, maybe.

- What do you mean maybe?

- I mean like, maybe.

I mean like, maybe you go and I stay back.

- What do you mean you stay back?

- I mean, you go on the hike. Have a good time.

Maybe tonight, I get drunk.

I watch a movie and I hang out.

- Is that what you want to do?

- Yes.

- I mean, that's fine.

I'm just saying we had a schedule, like both agreed on this.

Like we get here tonight-

- You had a schedule. You had a schedule.

I didn't have a schedule.

You asked me where I wanted to go.

I told you some places, but then you picked all the hikes.

You picked all the places we ate, okay?

I didn't.

And I've been dealing with it.

- Okay. You've made yourself clear.

I don't know, I'm not trying to force you.

I was hoping that like we'd go on a hike together

and it'd be like a bonding thing as friends.

And also like, maybe you could see something,

you'd be like, "Wow, I haven't seen this before."

It's not about like trying to exhaust you.

I'm sorry.

- You can't plan everything.

You can't plan bonding, okay?

So tomorrow, for the love of God, go on your hike.

Go on your hike at 8:00 AM, finish by 12:00.

Get lunch by 12:30. Enjoy that.

Have a great time. Come back, we'll hang out.

But this shit,

where you're telling me what I need to do the next day,

that's not cool, man.

- Okay, all right. Yeah.

- What time are we going on this hike?

- We can go in like 20 minutes if that works.

It's like a 20-minute drive

and then just about like a four-mile loop.

- Okay.

- We could get coffee on the way.

If you want.

- Yeah.

All right, I'm going to go get ready.

♪ Pick up the phone in time ♪

♪ Call home ♪

- How was the hike?

- It was good.

- Sorry I couldn't come.

I was just feeling really, really hung over.

- It's fine.

- Are we going to do another?

- Sure.

- Is it close?

- Right down the road.

This really is something, man.

- Glad you like it.

- I'm sorry.

I think last night, things got a little bit heated

and I've been a little bit overwhelmed

by all the scheduling,

but I shouldn't have taken it out like that.

So I am sorry.

- Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sorry too.

I don't mean to overwhelm you with like my schedule

and wanting to stay on schedule.

You know, I can be a little overwhelming

when I get really excited, you know?

- I mean, I get it, right?

This is your trip. You're moving, I'm not.

You planned everything, I didn't.

And I don't even really have a problem

with the places we're going.

I just want to slow down a little.

- Of course.

I don't mean for it to feel like it's only my trip.

I want, you know, to experience everything together,

you know?

You're a close friend of mine and I wanted you to come.

I wanted you here.

- Thanks, man.

I mean, being together this long is going to

make any two people fight, so.

- Yeah.

- I think we're doing pretty good actually.

- Yeah, I think so too.

Glad to know you're wrong and I'm right.

That's it.

I'm hungry though. You want to maybe get some wings?

- Yeah, well, I can't get... Cauliflower wings.

- Okay, yeah. - Yeah.

- You earned it. Good.

- Sweet. - Cool.

- You're paying. - What?

You're paying.

Like would you eat a wing

if your family was held hostage?

Yeah, I guess I'd have to in that scenario.

I mean, the worst thing that would happen to me

is I'd get like a stomach ache.

Yeah. And your family would live.

Yeah, I'd be a hero.

♪ Take the story and how it fell apart ♪

♪ I didn't know the ending, but man, I knew the start ♪

♪ Haven't slept right for days ♪

♪ Don't know what's left ♪

♪ If you want to drift off, man, you can be my guest ♪

♪ I'm your favorite statue ♪

♪ That never changed at all ♪

♪ I'm your hometown fool ♪

♪ I still work at the mall ♪

♪ I'm your favorite statue ♪

- This, I understand. This is nice.

- This is amazing.

- Yeah, it's like a giant, tall... Spaceship.

- It's a spaceship. - It's a spaceship.

- I get why people come here.

- Should we go up?

- Yeah, I was planning on it.

Looks cool.

- Is it free?

- No, I think it's like 30 bucks or something.

- 30 bucks?

- Yeah.

- All right. Well, this is a good view.

- Yeah, we don't have to go up.

Let's not spend the money.

- No, no. Let's definitely not spend the money.

- Yeah.

- $35? For an elevator ride?

- Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous

now that I'm thinking about it.

Yeah, I'm okay.

It's just, it's hard to hear about this stuff.

Why? I'm feeling okay.

- Because I don't know. - I can't really do anything.

I'm on the road and I'd like to be back there helping.

Well, don't worry about me. Just have fun, Joe.

I know, I know.

I want you to have fun.

Yeah, I am having fun.

It's just, I'm concerned. I'm worried.

It's just the way it is.

- Woo!

Woo!

- Woo! - Woo!

Woohoo hoo!

Hey. Hey.

- Mm.

- Joe.

- Mm?

- Joe. - What?

- Have you jerked off yet?

- Like on this trip?

Yeah.

- Yeah, a few times.

- When?

- Like in the motels, in the motel bathrooms.

- You jerked off in the motels?

In the bathroom, but yeah.

- I haven't jerked off once.

- What are you waiting for?

- Go to sleep.

- Don't jerk off in here.

Don't worry about it.

- It sounds a lot like you're waiting for me to go to sleep.

- I'm going to go to sleep. You go to sleep.

- Go outside.

- I'm not going to go outside. It's freezing.

- Just get it over with. Go outside.

Go by a tree or something.

- No.

- You're not going to do it in here.

Don't fucking do it in here. It's not funny.

- Just goodnight, man. I love you.

- Now's not the time to throw in an I love you.

You were just talking about jerking off.

- I'm just saying goodnight, I love you. That's it.

- I'm going back to sleep.

- Joe, are you asleep?

- Okay, we got to be quiet

because like, we don't want to scare the elk away,

but they should like run across the field.

I heard they run across the field in the morning.

- How long does it usually take?

- I mean, I don't know.

Could take a couple minutes.

We cannot see one at all.

It depends.

- To be honest, I'm getting a little tired

of the sitting and the standing

and the looking at different things.

Like I want to do something.

- Yeah, I know.

It's just a couple minutes though.

Let's just wait a couple minutes and see, okay?

- I'm just saying, if we were hunting the elk.

- Hunting?

- Yeah, I'm just saying if we were-

- Like harming the elk.

This is peaceful.

This is like, we're not encroaching on their space.

We're just like observing.

- I'm just saying, I want to do something.

- We are doing something.

- Okay, all right. Okay, this is fun.

- Dude, just wait a few minutes, okay?

- It's like watching water boil.

Also, San Francisco's like four to five hours,

so the drive isn't bad.

- Stop thinking about San Francisco.

I thought the whole thing was like, let's stop planning.

Let's just wait for an elk.

- Okay, okay, okay.

You think elk are ever like,

"Hey, let's go out in the field today and show off."

- Dude, look it's a fucking car.

- Oh, whoa. Is that?

Nope, that looks like maybe just a bush.

Shut up.

It's an elk call.

- It's not funny. - It's not an elk call.

Where the fuck did you read that?

- I saw it on a podcast.

I wouldn't have hunted this thing, man.

- That's what I'm saying.

See, isn't this nice?

We're like respecting the elk's space, like away?

- Yeah, man. It's beautiful.

All right, let's go to San Francisco.

- Just one more moment.

- Okay, one more moment.

You're not going to take a photo?

Dude, we just got to live.

We got to live the moment.

- Okay, all right. - Yeah, live the moment, man.

Say, to be back in San Francisco.

- When we get settled, I think the plan is

I'm going to meet with my sister for lunch.

You're obviously welcome to come,

but also like no pressure to.

I mean, I came here to see my sister obviously,

but I don't want you to feel like a weird obligation.

Like you can do what you want either way.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Yeah, maybe I'll spend the day

just exploring the city.

Like you go spend time with your sister, catch up.

- Yeah.

- And I'll see what San Francisco's all about.

- Okay, yeah. Definitely.

Cheers to our half ciders.

- Yep. Welcome to San Francisco.

- It's good to be here. It's good to like relax in a park.

- Yeah? - And like, have a second to catch my breath.

- So how was your trip?

- It's good. It's just like exhausting.

I don't know, it's like you see so many amazing things

and it becomes like overwhelming.

I feel like oversaturated at a certain point.

- I feel so bad for you. You've seen so many amazing things.

- Yeah, okay. I know how it sounds.

Yeah.

Yes, it's been great. I should feel fortunate

that I've been able to do this and

saved up for it and all that.

- Yeah, come on. Like, who gets this opportunity?

- You're right. It's fine.

- Yeah, it's like I can't take off work

to do that right now.

Like, I'm jealous of you.

I'm sure that,

I'm sure it's been good.

I understand traveling is tiring,

but yeah, just be grateful.

- Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

You're like a words of wisdom person.

- Oh, why thank you.

- Yeah. - You know, I try.

Speak the truth. - That's who you are.

♪ I took look into the sun ♪

♪ Washed down my brain and build it back in so quick ♪

♪ Clenching my teeth, falling apart ♪

♪ When does depression become deformed and sort of sick ♪

♪ I'd say a prayer ♪

- Hey, dude.

- Hey.

- Where are you coming from?

- I was out.

- How was your day?

- I had a great day.

Went to the Golden Gate Bridge,

went to that Mission area you told me about.

Went downtown, had a few drinks,

came over here, had a few more.

It was a good day.

- You had more drinks around here?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Could have let me know.

I was just here,

not doing anything.

- Yeah.

Could have joined you.

- You're my friend,

but you're not my girlfriend.

I don't need to tell you where I'm going.

I told you I was having a solo day. I had a solo day.

I'm trying to have a beer at the kitchen table.

- Okay, I understand that.

I don't care that it was a solo day.

Sure, that's great.

Just I texted you, "Where are you?"

And you didn't respond, so I got worried

and came back to the Airbnb

thinking you'd come here or you'd let me know.

- Okay, sorry that you couldn't find anything better

to do without me.

- Okay, but I would've done that

if you would've just responded that.

You could have just said that.

Instead, I had no idea where you were.

- Okay, well, I'm a full grown adult,

so like, don't worry about me.

I didn't ask you to worry about me,

so don't fucking worry about me.

- Lower your voice, please.

Okay?

I'm not freaking out over nothing.

I just had nothing to do.

I'm glad you had your great fucking day,

but I was just sitting here worried

and waiting for you because... Are you upset?

Are you upset that I didn't fucking text you

where I was every second?

- I'm glad you had a fun day.

I'm really glad. Good night.

- Sorry, mom.

Enjoy my six pack.

All right, dude,

let's not do the whole like,

takes a while for us to say sorry.

Just last night was messy.

We got like four more days left.

Let's just, I don't know.

Hold it together, I guess.

- Okay. - Yeah?

Cool.

- What?

Bird shit? - Yeah.

- Is that fresh bird shit?

- Yeah, it just happened.

- We're going to destroy those motel bathrooms.

- You good?

- Oh yeah, I was in the bathroom.

- You just look like you came from like a crime scene.

- Yeah, to go take a giant shit.

What's wrong with you?

- Okay.

Is that all you did in there?

- Yeah, I took a pretty large poop.

Like we've been eating a lot of tacos.

- Yeah, okay. You were just in there a while.

- What are you smiling at? - Did you do it?

- Did I do what?

- You can tell me if you did.

Did do anything else in there?

- Um, no.

I didn't do anything else in there.

- What do you mean, "Um, no"?

- I didn't do anything in the bathroom.

- Did you jerk off?

- No. I didn't jerk off.

- Because you were talking about it in the tent a lot.

I didn't jerk off, okay?

- You can tell me if you did.

- I did not jerk off.

- Okay.

You didn't.

- I did not jerk off.

I did not jerk off. I didn't jerk off.

Do you not believe me?

- I don't believe you, just say it.

I didn't jerk off.

- You jerked off.

- Why are you even asking me this?

- You seem a little angry.

It's just funny that

I don't think you only pooped in there.

It's okay. It's like weirder now that you haven't told me.

It's like you're like holding things.

Just come on. Just say it.

You know, I've done it a few times

since the trip started.

Just come on.

- Okay, yes, I jerked off. - Great.

I'm happy, you got it over with.

Okay. All right, it's done.

We don't talk about it.

- Yeah. Maybe you'll be less angry now.

♪ We're singing ♪

♪ Thank you, companion ♪

♪ Dee, dee, dee, ba, dum, dum ♪

♪ Thank you, companion ♪

♪ I am playing pretend ♪

♪ You knew it ♪

♪ I am playing pretend ♪

♪ You knew it ♪

♪ I am playing pretend ♪

♪ You knew it ♪

♪ Dee, dee, dee, ba, dum, dum ♪

♪ Thank you, companion ♪

- Oh, this is so salty. I'm sorry.

You want me to drive?

- Yeah, that'd be good.

- Keys are in there.

- All right.

How far do we have left?

Like an hour and a half.

Oh.

What's up?

- I think we went to the wrong campground.

- What do you mean?

- I think there's two campgrounds with the same name

in different towns.

- Oh fuck.

How far away do we have to go?

It's like an hour and a half.

- An hour and a half?

- Down that fucking road.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck.

- It's okay. It's alright.

- I fucked up. I fucking fucked up.

- You just got to take a second.

Take a moment and breathe and just like,

we can figure this out.

- I guess, but like, look, you planned everything out

and all I have to do is get us from point A to point B

and I can't even fucking do that.

- It's all right. These things happen.

- Because of me. We got lost because I fucked up.

- There's no use in being so hard on yourself right now,

man, okay? - No, but there is

because like, I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of this, I'm tired.

Like my entire life, all I fucking do is fuck up.

- That's not true. - I fucked off in school.

I fucked off after school.

I'm not doing anything with my fucking life, okay?

You called me, you don't know how excited I was

to do something.

And now I'm going to go back home

and I'm going to have nothing to fucking do again.

Okay?

I'm fucking over it, man.

I'm just like a fuck-up. I'm an asshole.

I'm a loser, like...

- I wouldn't think about all this shit, man.

Like all we got to do is just think about

what to do now, okay?

I wouldn't get hung up on what we're going

to be doing after this, all right?

- You don't get it.

You figured something out.

Okay? I haven't.

- You're not the only one who's anxious

about this stuff, okay?

I know it seems like I have more of a plan,

but moving is scary.

And I know it's... I am moving, but I'm scared.

I don't know what's going to happen.

People move places and it doesn't work out all the time.

- I mean, I guess, but like, look.

I get what you're trying to do,

but we're not the same people.

You went to school.

You made a decision to move out.

Like I don't have anything going for me

and I've just been waiting for someone

to hand me something for so long.

Like pat yourself on the back, okay?

And like, yeah, sure, I'll figure it out.

It may not be today or tomorrow or next month but,

just all these little fuck-ups get to me man.

- All we can do is just figure out

what we're doing right now.

We're lost a bit.

That's fine.

I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened sooner.

We're on a road trip.

- Yeah. - You get lost on a road trip.

- Okay.

- Give yourself some credit.

You've made this trip a lot of fun.

And I don't think you fucked up anything.

If I was driving,

I probably wouldn't have even realized this.

We would've driven like three hours.

So you're a way better driver.

- I guess you are like a pretty bad driver.

- Well, I didn't say that. I said you're better.

- You're a bad driver. - I'm an okay driver.

- You got us into almost like three different accidents.

- That one at the intersection, that guy was an asshole.

He was cutting me off.

- And you know what? He was an asshole.

You're right. - Thank you.

- All right, let's get out of here.

- Do you want me to drive?

- No.

No, I'll drive. It's fine.

You think I'm a bad driver.

- You just admitted it, so yeah, I think that-

- I said I was an okay driver.

- Okay.

Well, as the better than okay driver, I'll take the wheel.

- All right. All right.

Dude.

Dude, can you...

What? I'm just-

- Actually, yeah, you're fine.

I could sit here all day.

- Oh, man.

This is amazing.

- Yeah.

♪ When the words don't fit quite right with the chords ♪

♪ Start to perceive ♪

Dude, I can't believe we're here.

- I know. - It's so awesome.

Does it feel weird?

- It feels weird to me. - It's feels so surreal.

It feels weird to see you guys.

- I know. - It's like... In LA too. - I know.

- And you're not in a car. - Oh my god, yeah.

We were in a car for so long. It was crazy.

- I know, dude. A month long road trip.

That's wild. Where did you guys go?

What'd you see? What'd you do?

- Yeah, it was fun. We saw Colin.

- No. - Really?

- How's he doing? - Yeah, he was good.

We were just catching up, talking about old times.

That's so funny.

- Yeah, we were talking about like

when we were abroad and stuff.

And do you remember Will?

- Teskygrimob?

- Yeah, we were talking about that night.

- Like, exactly. - Oh my god.

Do you remember that night?

- Yes. - Oh my God.

Dude, that was so funny.

He was like a trainwreck.

- He got absolutely obliterated that night.

- Yes. - But no, but he thought

he was being subtle the next day.

- Right. - Yeah. We went on that tour.

- Okay, do we think the tour guy knew?

Because I vote yes. - The tour guy knew.

He thought he was being like subtle.

He was like- - Everyone knew.

Everyone knew.

He'd like take little sips and like-

- Yeah, out of the flask. - We know, like-

- And we could smell it on you.

- And we could smell it and like you're taking

like secretive sips out of something,

and clearly, you're not taking secretive sips

like of water. - Yeah.

Yeah, it's not coffee.

- What do you fucking think that is?

- It's definitely not pumpkin juice.

- Yeah, exactly. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - I don't know if

- you know the story. - I do, yeah.

- Oh, cool. - Yeah, I've actually,

I've heard this story.

I think Colin told us last time.

- Yeah, he was there when-

- Oh, okay. - Cool.

- We went to see Colin. - That's cool.

You don't smell bad.

I was expecting you to be like...

- No, no, exactly. - You smell great for not-

- Oh, well, thank you.

I was really self-conscious about it.

I mean, I don't know.

But yeah, we were camping, we were in motels-

- Oh, okay. - You know, when it got cold.

It was cool.

- Well, now you have your own base.

- I know. - You're home.

- I know. - This is like,

this is crazy that I'm here.

Like you're not just visiting,

this is where you're going to live.

- I know, is my room ready?

- Yeah, yeah. Your room is ready, your room is ready.

It's all clean. - Yeah, do you need any help

moving stuff in? - I probably will.

- Tomorrow morning. - Yeah, let's drink though.

- Let's drink some more. - Okay, hey.

- Yeah, it's good to see you, buddy.

- Welcome to la la land.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Honestly.

And I mean, like, we have a grill set up out here.

- Oh yeah. - We can start cracking

- that open. - Yeah, exactly.

- Mike actually, he grilled a lot on our trip.

- Oh. - Yeah? Do you cook?

- What do you cook?

- Steak's usually my thing,

but we do a lot of like veggie burgers and broccoli.

- Oh right, yeah. I forgot to tell you guys.

I'm a pescetarian now.

- Oh, cool. Yeah. - Oh, cool.

Oh, cool. That's cool with you?

- Yeah, we're both vegetarian.

- Oh, wow. Awesome.

Dude, welcome to Los Angeles living.

- Welcome to LA. - When did that happen?

- It's just going to happen.

Pretty much like a couple months after I moved to LA.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah.

- You guys are both vegetarians?

Okay, great. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Then this works out.

- It's a natural transition of like, you come to the city

and you're like, "Oh, I don't want to like fuck the earth."

- I don't want... I'm going to grab another beer.

Anybody need one?

- I'm good. - I'm good.

- I'm solid. Thank you.

- But yeah, there's so many good like vegan places too-

- True. - That like,

it makes you like, "I'm going to try that out."

And then you try and you're like, "This is so good."

- You're like, "Why do I need meat?"

- But thank God you guys are vegetarian.

Like, I thought you guys were going to give me shit.

No, dude, why would I give you shit

for not wanting to kill another organism?

- Yeah, exactly. I don't know.

Like sorry for being a good person. Yeah.

Have you ever actually thought about it

when you're eating meat?

You're like, "This is the flesh of another creature."

It's so gross.

Disgusting, really.

Especially when you make that sound.

Literally.

- Hey. - You in LA?

- Yeah, I'm here. We made it.

That's great to hear. Are you in your room?

- Yeah, I'm standing in the room.

It's pretty empty right now.

Okay, you going to move your stuff in now?

- Yeah, I'm going to move in my stuff later.

We're just settling in.

Great. How's Mike doing?

You guys got along?

- He's good. Yeah.

I think he's going to fly out in the morning.

Did you guys have fun? Are you tired?

- It was fun.

Yeah, it's exhausting.

I'm glad it's over.

Joe, I got to go. I'm getting sleepy.

- Okay, yeah. It's pretty late.

I'll let you go.

Talk to you tomorrow. Love you.

- I'll call you tomorrow.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

- Well, it looks like he's here.

- Cool.

All right, um.

Well, have a safe journey back. Have a safe flight.

- Yeah, will do.

And thanks for the trip, man. This was a lot of fun.

And hey, good luck in LA.

- I'll see you soon.

- Yeah, see you soon.

- Have a safe flight.

- Yeah, I will.

- Okay.

♪ Do you remember when you purchased ♪

♪ A rusty old scenic backdrop ♪

♪ A little inn by the mountain's edge ♪

♪ And a freshly painted sky ♪

♪ Woke up to a sunbeam ♪

♪ Packing in an outdoor easy chair ♪

♪ You tinkered with your own pickup truck ♪

♪ Close your eyes and I will take you there ♪

♪ Mountain morning ♪

♪ Tea by the big old tree ♪

♪ The man in the chair wants you to paint so high ♪

♪ The country air makes you strong ♪

♪ Do you remember your scenic backdrop ♪

♪ Picnics in the valley below ♪

♪ So many trees and beautiful flowers ♪

♪ And the peaceful sky above ♪