All language subtitles for Bell, book and candle (1958) James Stewart Eng-eng

Pyewacket.

What's the matter with me?

Why do I feel this way?

It's such a rut.

The same old thing, day after day.
The same old people.

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself,
but it's true.

Why don't you give me something
for Christmas, Pye?

What would I like?

I'd like to do something different.

I'd like to meet someone different.

Look, there's that man upstairs.

He's different.
Why don't I ever know people like that?

Why don't you give me him for Christmas?

Why don't you give me him?

Oh, dear!

-You startled me.
-We're even.

-Who are you?
-You do have a nice place here.

Thank you. Would you mind if I ask
what you're doing in it?

Certainly not. I was going downstairs...

...and your door happened to be open,
and I saw your window open, too.

The snow was coming through...

...and I thought you'd like me to close it,
so I did.

It's odd I had to unlock the door to get in.

Yes, isn't it?

After all, you are fairly new in the building.
I was only being neighbourly.

Are you the one that lives above me?

Tell me something.
Do you study dramatics, by any chance?

Dramatics?

At night, I hear you through the ceiling,
as I'm trying to sleep.

Sounds as though you're reciting
or something.

-Can you understand what I say?
-No.

I'll try not to do it so loudly.

You read, don't you?
And you have such a correspondence.

I straightened your desk up a bit.
I'm afraid you're very sloppy.

If you don't mind terribly,
I have some telephoning to do.

Some personal telephoning.

Before you moved in, a theosophist
lived here, and he was very pleasant.

Very pleasant.

Hello? Mother?

I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm Shepperd Henderson. I live above.

-I know. I'm Gillian Holroyd.
-How do you do?

My phone's out of order.
I wonder if I might use yours.

-I'm late for an appointment.
-Certainly. Come in.

Thank you.

It's in the back.

-You reading this?
-Magic in Mexico? Yes.

-Are you interested in that sort of thing?
-Only professionally. I'm a publisher.

Operator? I'd like to report
a phone out of order.

-Did you publish that?
-No, but I wish I had.

-It sold like the Kinsey Report.
-I can't think why. It's completely phoney.

-It is?
-I spent a year in Mexico.

I'm sure they fed him a lot of fake tourist
stuff, and he swallowed it whole.

Maybe they did that to Kinsey, too.
I certainly wish I'd put this one out.

I understand Redlitch is about ready
to change publishers.

Yes, I'll wait.

-Would you like to meet him?
-You know him?

No, but I might know someone who does.

I understand he's a drunk and a nut,
but there's a market for the supernatural.

-Yes, I'd like very much to meet him.
-I'll see if I can arrange it sometime.

Thank you.

Supervisor? My number is
Chickering 4-5-0-9-9, and it's out of order.

I don't know what's wrong with it.
If you want my opinion, I think it's sick.

No matter what I dial,
I get nothing but these idiotic sounds.

That's just it. They're not mechanical.
They're more human, or inhuman.

Maybe it is goblins.

I know it sounds strange,
but I want it fixed.

A Merry Christmas to you, too.

Perhaps you need a drink.

I'm in an awful hurry.
Maybe I can have a rain check.

Certainly.

Here we are.

This is a fascinating shop. What's this?

That's a Bayaka mask,
from the Belgian Congo.

Looks like a German governess I had.
How did you ever get interested in all this?

I majored in anthropology at college.

Gillian, you've got to change your mind
and come along.

-I didn't know you had company.
-This is Shepperd Henderson.

-This is my aunt, Miss Holroyd.
-Your aunt?

Mr. Henderson and I saw each other
a little earlier.

-I'm afraid he thinks I've been naughty.
-No, not exactly.

Gillian, you can't stay in tonight.
All our friends will be at the Zodiac.

-Mr. Henderson, persuade her for me.
-The Zodiac? I don't think I know it.

I don't imagine you would.
It's kind of a dive.

But it's fun. Coax her for me.

-Is it fun?
-It certainly can be.

Then you oughtn't stay home
Christmas Eve.

Thanks again for the phone,
and Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!

-I think you like him.
-Yes, I do. Very much.

-Did you bring him here?
-No, he came to use the phone.

-You broke into his apartment, didn't you?
-I didn't break in, dear.

And you fixed his phone.

I'm angry with you, Queenie.
Really angry. You promised.

I promised to be careful.
Besides, it serves him right.

He wasn't nice to me at all,
and what harm did I do?

I didn't take anything.
All right, I read his letters.

Really, Queenie.

But it's not as if I were going
to make use of them.

It's too bad, though,
he's getting married, isn't it?

He's getting married? How do you know?

One of his letters, I suppose.

-Well, that rules him out.
-I don't see why.

-I don't take other women's men.
-But it would be so easy.

And it would be
such good practice for you, darling.

And he'd never suspect.
Not in a million years.

It's amazing the way people don't.
They don't believe there are such things.

I sit in the subway sometimes,
or in buses, or at the movies...

...and I look at the people near me,
and I think:

''What would you say
if I told you I was a witch?''

And I know they'd never believe it.
They just wouldn't believe it.

And I giggle and giggle to myself.

You've got to stop giggling here.

I want you to swear you'll stop practicing
in this apartment house.

-But you practice here.
-I can be discreet about it. You can't.

I shall move to a hotel.

Very well, but if you get into trouble there,
don't look for me to get you out.

I want you to swear you'll never practice
witchcraft again, in this house.

If you don't, you'll be sorry.
And you know I can make you sorry, too.

Say, ''I swear.''

I swear.

Really, Auntie, it's for our own good, dear.

I think you're very cruel.

If you'll wait, I'll change.

There were only a few of us,
but I actually saw her do it.

I'm afraid I must agree with you.

Up to a point, Matilda's technically superb,
but her brewing lacks quality.

On the other hand, you have to admit
that her ointments have done wonders.

Ointments! My dear,
I abandoned ointments when I was 14.

That's understandable. One can't mention
Matilda and you in the same breath.

-There's been nothing this century like you.
-You're sweet.

Gil, darling, you're depressed.

I expect it's Christmas.
It always upsets me.

Auntie, don't you ever wish
that you weren't what we are?

No.

That you could just spend Christmas Eve
in a little church somewhere...

...listening to carols
instead of bongo drums?

Come join Zoe and Waldo and the others.
Why, even Mrs. DePass is here!

I wish I could just spend some time
with some everyday people for a change.

You wouldn't like it, darling.
They're ordinary and humdrum.

Yes, I suppose so.

But it might be pleasant to be humdrum,
once in a while.

Perhaps you'd like to be humdrum
with that Mr. Henderson.

I wouldn't mind.

It has to be around here someplace.
I looked it up in the directory.

All right, Shep. I grant you this place
is different, but must it be invisible?

Listen. I swear I hear music.
Don't you hear music?

Well, listen.

What's that? Look.

Drums!

Hello, down there! Hello. Zodiac?

Hello! This is it.

See there? Okay. I'll bet this is it.
There you are, a trail.

Follow the yellow line and keep going...

...and keep going, and there is an arrow.

Success. Come on.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather
go back to El Morocco?

Come on, this will be fun.

-Good evening.
-Hello.

Providing the signs are favourable,
the Zodiac welcomes you.

-The date of your birth, sir?
-March 12.

Sign of the fish. The time is favourable.

-Sign of the fish.
-Shep, this is the scrabby end!

The night is favourable. Auspicious
for love, pleasure and entertainment.

-Go right down.
-Thanks. Come on.

It's not supposed to be known,
but he's from the Paris chapter.

This is a number about a man who was
assassinated and thrown in a river.

That was ten years ago.
There he's been all this time...

...at the bottom without food,
alcohol or a female friend.

In addition, he detests water.

You won't catch her at El Morocco.

She looks like she's been living
in a pickle barrel.

I think she's the one.

There's a snapshot of her
in his desk drawer.

Auntie, I think....

Yes, I'm sure I do. I know that girl.

-Sure you don't mind?
-Of course not. We're delighted.

That's very kind of you. There we are.

I believe Miss Kittredge and I
know each other.

-I don't seem to remember.
-Wellesley, we were in the same dormitory.

Yes, of course.

You were that girl
who used to come to class barefoot.

They put you on probation for it,
didn't they?

Somebody wrote a note
to the dean about it.

I wear them in public now, Mr. Henderson.

-That band certainly is different.
-They play very well together.

Nicky is the one playing the bongos.

Up to a few months ago,
he'd never studied music.

Quite remarkable.

Yes, particularly when you consider
that he used to work in an herb shop.

Looks to me
as if he's eaten one herb too many.

That's why he acts so creepy, I suppose.

No, it's not that at all.
All the Holroyds are a little sinister.

You see, Nicky's my brother.

I'm terribly sorry.

-Waiter.
-Yes, sir?

Give us two more of those.
A vodka and tonic, and scotch and soda.

Yes, sir.

Miss Kittredge had a quirk at college, too.

-Thunderstorms.
-Thunderstorms?

-You do remember them?
-Just an old bugaboo of mine.

That last spring in school,
it was most astonishing...

...how many dreadful thunderstorms
there were. Remember?

Yes, I remember.

It was most extraordinary.
Why, they lasted for weeks.

-Did they really scare you?
-I'd rather not talk about it.

Are you all right?

Shep, get me out of here!

All the girls loathed her.
She was a liar and a sneak.

And do you know what else, Auntie?
She used to write poison-pen letters.

-That note to the dean was from her.
-Didn't you do anything about it?

Why do you suppose we had
all those thunderstorms that spring?

-That was you?
-She was a nervous wreck.

Did you hear that, Nicky?

Why, Nicky! How clever.

It's nothing, really.
Just something I picked up the other day.

Nicky, will you ever grow up?

Auntie, you know something else?

She had a terrible reputation
as a beau snatcher.

Now, you can't have a single twitch
about taking him away from her.

It wouldn't be anything for you.
Just a few words to Pyewacket.

I don't want him that way.

Gillian, you haven't fallen in love with him
and lost your powers?

Of course not.
You don't believe that old wives' tale?

-They say it's true.
-Nonsense! It's the other way around.

We can't fall in love.

I wonder.

I wonder if I could get him without tricks.

I wouldn't know, dear.
I could never do it at all.

If you come in, you can have your presents.
It's been Christmas for hours.

-Now, wait a minute. Let me open it.
-It's my turn now. Let me.

-Auntie....
-If Nicky can, why can't I?

I've your present with me, but it's mingy
this year. I've never been so broke.

-I'll like it just the same.
-Let me do it again.

-No, that's enough.
-Come on.

Come on, Queenie. It's present time.

-You know what I used to wonder?
-Pyewacket!

I always used to wonder why
all through history...

...witches were always poor
when they could get anything.

It's only because they weren't
any good at it, anymore than we are.

We can turn out street lights,
but we can't make anything turn to gold.

Gil could hex the entire stock market if she
wanted. She's afraid of the repercussions.

No, I say you don't know what this kind
of thing can do to you, if you go too far.

Records! Wonderful! They're fine.

But I don't have a phonograph anymore.

You'll find you have one
when you get home.

Gil, that's too much! Really?
Did you get it for me?

-Did you witch it, or pay for it?
-None of your business.

You mustn't ask that, Nicky.
It's like asking what it cost.

This is lovely, Gillian. What does it do?

It makes you look fascinating.

-You mean....
-No, it has no powers.

I just thought it was pretty.

It is. It's very pretty. I love it.

Thanks again, Nicky.

-What's it for?
-It's for summoning.

You're supposed to take this liquid,
and you paint it on an image...

...or a drawing or a photograph of anybody
you want, then you set fire to it and....

They got to come to you.
I found it in a new little shop.

Very interesting, Nicky.

I hope it works for you.
I couldn't even make it light.

Let's try it. Right now.

-Who are you going to try it on?
-You'll see.

Nicky, get the bowl.

-The book on the desk, and the scissors.
-The book on the desk, and the scissors.

Who are you going to try it on?

The man who wrote this book,
Sidney Redlitch.

-Where is he now?
-The wrapper says he lives in Acapulco.

-Any words?
-It says not.

-All right. Got a match?
-Here.

Go.

You're a genius.

It's Mr. Henderson!

Hello.

Are you having fireworks?

Sorry to disturb you. I just thought
the place was going up in flames.

No, it's nothing like that.
It's just a little game that we play.

It seems rather dangerous,
but go right ahead with it.

No, no. It's all right. We've finished.

Nicky, I'm terribly tired.
I must be leaving. Goodnight.

Everything's working out wonderfully.
Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.
Thanks again for the presents, Gillian.

-Good night, Mr. Henderson.
-Merry Christmas.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Perhaps you'd like that rain check now?

All right, only make it a brandy, will you?

-How did you like the Zodiac?
-I'm not quite sure.

Somehow it seemed more like Halloween
than Christmas.

Did you know Merle well in school?

Not very.

I'm afraid your brother and those drums
were too much for her.

Thank you.

She's really quite a wonderful girl.

Is that your cat?

I've seen him on the stairs, watching me
come in and out. What's his name?

-Pyewacket.
-How's that?

-Pyewacket.
-Pyewacket. Well, how do you do?

Bad cat!

-I'm glad he didn't scratch you.
-No. That's all right.

He doesn't have very good manners.

It's just because you're a stranger.
Once he gets to know you....

It's nice having you over me.

I mean,
it's assuring having a man near one...

...in case he's needed.

Merle and I are getting married tomorrow.

I mean, today.

We decided the whole thing
driving home this evening.

There's this party she's giving tomorrow.
I mean, today, she's giving the party.

And we were going to announce
the engagement then.

And then, do it later on...

...but that seems like such a hack's way
of getting married, so we're going...

...to drive up-state, or over to Jersey,
or wherever it is that you...

...do it, and do it.

It's funny, but all my life I've been either
too busy or too careful to get married.

But now, all of a sudden, I just can't wait.

Just can't wait.

Of course,
I imagine it'll be a little strange at first.

It'll sort of be like somebody reading
over your shoulder all the time.

I think I'm allergic to your cat.

If it was anybody else but Merle...

...I'd be scared stiff.

For one thing,
she has such wonderful taste...

...in clothes, books, everything.

And she paints very well, too.

She paints in this sort of cloudy style.

Did a portrait of me last year.
She was crazy about it.

So I just never did tell her
that I thought it was upside down.

I've known her since she was a kid,
then she went off to school...

...and I sort of lost track of her.

I've sort of been rattling, haven't I?

It's getting late.
I think maybe I'd better go up.

And thank you for the drink.

Tomorrow's going to be quite
an important day for me. I mean, today...

...is going to be quite an important day,
so if you'll excuse me.

That tune you're humming, what is that?

Just something I sing to Pye now and then.

Say something.
I want to hear your voice again.

Do you like my voice?

I like everything about you.
Don't you know that by now?

You've made it charmingly apparent.

Just what are you thinking
at this moment?

Nothing, nothing at all. And you?

Nothing, either. I can't think.
Certainly not this close to you.

-By the way, where are we?
-On top of the Flatiron Building.

You wanted to be on top of a tall building.

-We had no luck at the Empire State.
-Didn't we knock?

Yes, we did, but they said, not at 6:00 a.m.
They were very understanding, though.

But not as understanding
as this fellow downstairs.

-What about before?
-My place.

-Why did we ever leave?
-You wanted to go dancing in the snow.

-Of course, you don't remember.
-I remember every single moment.

And I'm going to muss your nose.

There's a timelessness about this.
I feel spellbound.

Stay that way.

Gillian, tell me now,
what has it meant to you?

-Meant?
-These hours.

-They've been enchantment.
-That's all?

Do we have to talk about it? Why?

I'm supposed to be getting married
this morning.

Are you?

If not, I'd better ask myself
some questions in a hurry.

Do you want to ask them, Shep?

Right at this moment,
I want never to stop seeing you.

I know it doesn't make sense, but...

...I have an idea I must be in love with you.

Has it hit you that way?

I want you as much as you want me.

Would you like it to go on for always?

-Does anything go on for always?
-One likes to think some things do.

Maybe this is one of those things
that burn themselves out.

But if it is, it's a whale of a fire.

Shep, it has hit me hard.

Good morning.

Have we done something dreadful?

-Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.

Merle, I've been taking stock.
I'd make an impossible husband.

Things I've never told you.
I gargle. I eat radishes.

I chew tobacco. I spit.

I'm an insomniac. I don't sleep at all.

I stomp around the bedroom all night long,
talking to myself.

-Besides all that, I snore.
-What?

You won't be happy with me. Not at all.

-Shep, what's the matter with you?
-I don't know exactly.

You look green.

I hope you haven't too much
of a hangover from last night.

You're just nervous. You'll be all right.
Bonita called from Westport.

She's found a minister. He'll be ready
at 1:00. He arranges for photographers.

-Isn't it exciting?
-It's no good, Merle.

It's just no good. No use.

-Are you still drunk?
-No, I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk.

I may be intoxicated, but not drunk.

-You're certainly not acting like yourself.
-No, I'm not.

You're almost like another person.

That's exactly how I feel, Merle,
like another person.

I just don't seem to want
to marry you any longer.

You wouldn't want me to marry you
when I don't want to, would you?

Are you trying to say you're jilting me?

That's a very heavy word, Merle.
It's a very heavy word.

Let's just say that we're ''uncoupling.''

-You sound like a lunatic.
-That's very true.

Very true.

I'm sorry, Merle.

I can't really explain this.
I don't fully understand it myself.

What am I supposed to tell people?
Just what do you expect me to do?

You could go back to Arthur O'Neill,
the fellow you jilted.

You could take a world cruise.

You could...

...redecorate this apartment.
It really needs it, Merle.

-You are a vile, sleazy, contemptible....
-I'm a cad.

Goodbye, Merle.

I almost forgot my hat.

-Good morning, Tina. Nice Christmas?
-Very nice. And yours?

Superb!

The mail is on your desk.

And Mr. White is in,
and the Faulkner galleys are ready.

And that gentleman is waiting to see you.

And Bergdorf's called about that negligee
you wanted to send to Miss Kittredge.

Tina, why don't you just have them
send that to your house?

And I'm not going to have lunch
with Miss Kittredge, or dinner.

You can just cancel all those reservations.

We don't want to have a perfectly good
negligee go to waste, do we?

Mr. Henderson, I'm Sidney Redlitch.

You don't know me,
but I think I want to see you.

-You're who?
-Redlitch. Magic in Mexico.

Magic in....

Of course. Redlitch, I'm glad to see you.

I'm astonished to see you. Sit down.

I was talking to some people
just the other night about you...

...only I understood you were in Mexico.

Yeah, that's right.

You see, there is this new book
that I am about to get into.

All of a sudden, I get this...

...uncontrollable urge
to talk with you about it.

First, I figured I'd write to you
and then I thought maybe I'd phone.

All of a sudden, I decided I had to see you
so I grabbed a plane, and here I am.

I didn't expect this kind of weather.
It's chilly here, isn't it?

Are you looking for something?

A little post-Christmas cheer.

Certainly. Tina, get the....
Scotch? Bourbon?

It doesn't make any difference.

-Sit down.
-Thank you.

Listen, Mr. Henderson.

Do you ever publish anything
on witchcraft?

-Do you know anything about it?
-Not exactly.

You will. When this new one comes out,
this will knock you over.

Water or soda?

Knock them over.

Shep, I thought that we might....

Andy, come in. Meet Sidney Redlitch.
This is my partner, Andy White.

How do you do, sir?

-Mr. Redlitch wrote Magic in Mexico.
-Yes.

And he's just about to do another one.
What are you going to call this one?

Magic in Manhattan
or Witchcraft Around Us.

Is it around us?

You bet your boots it is, son,
it's all around us.

You probably thought it was confined
to the jungles and the tropics. It's not.

-It's right here. New York is full of them.
-Full of what?

-Witches, boy, witches.
-How do you know that?

Sure, go ahead.

-What was that?
-Scotch.

Make this one bourbon, would you?

How do I know? I've met a couple.

Met them through my book,
before I went to Mexico.

Take my word for it,
right here, all around us...

...there's a whole community of them.

-What do they look like?
-Like anybody else.

Like her.

Like him.

When it's a man, it's called a warlock.

-Did you know they can't cry?
-They can't cry?

Physically impossible for a witch
to shed a tear, or blush.

When you throw them in the water,
they float.

You mean,
you can actually contact these people?

Of course. They have hangouts,
but they're open to the public.

Caf�s and bars and nightclubs.

They've got a place there in the Village,
the Zodiac.

Over in Brooklyn, there's....

You don't take this very seriously, do you?

Yes, I do,
but I've got some work to do right now.

Besides, Mr. Henderson's in complete
charge of our ''abracadabra'' department.

See you later.

You said the Zodiac?
The little place in the cellar?

-The headquarters is downstairs.
-The headquarters! I'll be darned!

-What's the matter?
-Nothing.

What are you doing this evening?

I'd like you to have a drink
with a couple of friends of mine.

Sure, I'd love to.

...or blush.
If you throw them in the water, they float.

Tell them about the Zodiac,
that place where Nicky works.

That's their headquarters.
The place is infested with them.

What do you know?

Just take a good look
at the proprietor sometime.

-You mean to tell me he's a witch?
-Absolutely.

-And what is it they call a man witch?
-A warlock.

-Warlock.
-Warlock.

-You'd never know it to look at him.
-You wouldn't, but I would.

-You can recognise them?
-Like a shot.

-How?
-It's a look, or a feeling or something.

I can't put my finger on it,
but if one came in here right now...

...I'd know him in a minute.

Yeah. I wonder if we know any of them.

I wonder.

-I suppose there's lots of it around.
-Yeah, it's sort of like the flu.

Make jokes,
but my old publisher's still interested.

No, no. As a matter of fact, I've come
to a decision. I'll publish your book.

The truth is,
I wouldn't think of not publishing it.

I've seen things from arthritis
to the Dead Sea hit the best-seller list.

-Why not this?
-Great! You'll never regret it.

-This calls for a little celebration.
-I think I'll join you.

This is just an amazing coincidence.

Only the other night, Gillian was asking me
if l'd like to meet you.

It was right in this room, wasn't it?
Remember?

Toast.

Ring the bell, close the book,
quench the candle.

That's how they used to exorcise them,
put them out of business.

In medieval times, of course.

Tell me, is it safe to write about all this?
Aren't you afraid of reprisals?

As a matter of fact, I am. There's a woman
very high up in the movement.

If I can find her,
I hope to get her on my side.

-Who's that?
-It's a Mrs. De....

-I can't tell you.
-Mrs. DePass?

How do you know that?

I heard someone mention her name
at the Zodiac.

They say she smokes cigars
made of seaweed.

Sounds like her. Hope I can locate her.
I'm going to start looking tonight.

Hasn't this cat got anything better to do?

-Couldn't you give him something to read?
-I'll put him out.

There's something about that cat.

They make excellent ''familiars'' though.
Almost all witches have them.

Pets who have to carry out
their masters' bidding.

-You did say we were going dancing?
-Yes.

I forgot. I've got something on the stove
upstairs. Don't dance all night.

I guess I'd better go, too,
so I'll get my coat.

-Turn out the lamps, won't you?
-Surely.

Sorry we have to run, Mr. Redlitch.

I don't like him looking for Mrs. DePass.
Put him off the track.

I see what you mean.

What you said is terribly interesting.
Do you mind if I walk along with you?

That's a wonderful idea.

Maybe we can stop someplace
and have a drink.

I know just the spot.
A bar called ''Mumbo Jumbo.''

-You keep in touch with me.
-Don't worry. I'll touch you for an advance.

That's a little play on words.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Quite a fellow, that Redlitch.
I thought you'd like to meet him.

Don't forget your shoes.

The amazing thing is, I think he believes
there are such things as witches.

Just so he doesn't think I'm one.

-We're going dancing, remember?
-Yeah, but first....

Why do we have to go dancing?
I like it here.

-You'll be back.
-You bet I will.

Let's see now, laundry, hotel room...

...money, barber shop.

A good barber, a little trim.
No, not too much.

And a typewriter. I got to get a typewriter.

-I'll loan you mine.
-That's very friendly.

You know something?

There's one thing that you might...

-He's closed.
-...need and that would be a collaborator.

I mean it.
Somebody that could really scout around.

You know, get some dope for you.
Let you in on some things.

Let me in?

I am as in as anybody,
but one of them himself could be.

And if I got you one of ''them''
to collaborate with....

That would be different.

-Would you split 50-50?
-Sure. It'd be worth it.

You're naive, boy.
They're very tight with their trade secrets.

I could never get near a deal like that.

You are nearer than you think.

See them?

Watch.

You.

-You get better all the time.
-So do you.

-Your nose is cold.
-I'm cold-blooded.

I wouldn't say that.

That's not fair.

Hello.

What is it?

I know I haven't.
I've been busy. Quite busy.

No, not the way you think. Just busy.

What do you want?

Then say it over to me and I'll correct you.

That's it.

Just a minute.

-The water's boiling, Shep. Will you?
-Sure.

No, not now, I tell you. I'm not alone.

No, no. Nothing's going on.
Just why do you want to know all this?

What do you mean
you're working with Redlitch?

I've got to hang up now.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Gil, where's the tea?

The tea, just a minute.

-Where's the tea?
-Right here.

When are we going to get married?

I must have missed a chapter somewhere.

After the last two weeks,
you can't say this is so sudden.

No, but I just hadn't thought of marriage.

Darling, that's the man's remark usually.

Gil, I've really got it bad.
I've let everything slide.

I have a pile of unopened manuscripts
in my office this high.

I can't stay in my office for wanting
to get to you. I'm going crazy.

We can't go on like this.

That's the woman's remark usually.

Why don't you get your shoes?
I'm sure they're dry.

Why are you ducking this?
Tell me, I'm serious.

-I just don't think I'm cut out for marriage.
-Why not?

Because of the way that I've lived...

...selfishly and restlessly,
one thing after another.

-You make it sound so....
-I don't mean affairs.

What does it mean, then?
I don't understand.

It's just that my life has been sort of...

...disreputable,
at least seen through your eyes.

-I'm cynical, I'm jealous, and I'm vindictive.
-I don't believe that.

It's true.

I've always lived for, and by, the special...

...not the ordinary.

I've never even thought of marriage.

It would mean giving up
a whole way of thinking...

...behaving...

...a whole existence.

I don't know if I could.

I wish I could.

Take this and the tea into the other room.
I'll get your shoes.

I wonder if I could.

Suppose he found out afterwards?

Don't look at me like that!
I will if I want to!

Shep, I will!

I'd like to hear that again.

I will.

I want to.

-I'll be different from now on. I promise!
-I don't want you any different.

-I want to be! I want to be quite different.
-I won't stand for it.

Hey, surprise! You're quite a stranger.

Making hay? Boy, we are.
Shep said he'd read the first half tonight.

When did you get mixed up in this?

The night Redlitch and I left your shop,
you remember?

You'd die laughing if you read
what Redlitch has written.

It's wrong, all wrong.
It took me a while to straighten him out.

What do you mean, straighten him out?

You haven't told him about yourself,
have you?

Of course! I told him nearly everything.
I want it to sell, don't I?

He doesn't know about me,
does he, Nicky?

No, dear. I told him I was the one
who summoned him to New York.

-Of course, if you want the credit, well....
-I do not want to take the credit!

You fool!

Don't you know it doesn't pay
to tell outsiders?

I think it'll pay very well this time.

Shep has already given Redlitch
a generous advance.

-Nicky, you cannot publish this book.
-What is the matter with you? Why not?

Shep and I are getting married.

For goodness sakes.

Bless your little heart.

-Congratulations!
-Thank you.

Marriage no less.

What fun!

-Shep is really going to have quite a time.
-No jokes, Nicky, and no tricks.

-You don't mean this is on the level?
-Yes, I do!

Why? You've already got him.
What do you want to marry him for?

Because I want to live with him.
Because I'm happy with him.

I suppose next you'll say
you're giving it all up.

You're renouncing.

-I have renounced.
-You've what?

-And this is too close to home.
-I'm sorry. This is very important to me.

It is much more important to me,
and I want you to stop it!

Not a chance. I'm not going to spend
my life being a tom-tom player.

Very well then. I'll just have to do
something about it!

You're going to pull one?
I thought you were renouncing!

I'll make a farewell appearance for this.

I wouldn't, Gil.

If you do, I promise your little romance
is going to go on the rocks.

Absolute trash. Garbage.

Very frankly, this is the most idiotic thing
I've ever read in my life.

You should call it,
What Every Young Witch Should Know...

...and include a do-it-yourself kit
with every sale.

But I thought you were keen on the idea.

Yes, I was,
but I've certainly changed my mind.

-Why?
-Why? Because....

-I can go on with a spoof.
-Spoof?

-Silly, isn't it?
-It certainly is silly.

I don't intend to be the laughingstock
of the trade by publishing it.

-But every word is gospel, boy, gospel.
-What's the use, Sid? He isn't having any.

This is my hour of grief.

Sidney, maybe we can find something
to tide you over.

A little bourbon? Scotch? That's right.

-You don't care which one it is. Nicky?
-No, thanks. I've had plenty.

-Hello, Miss Holroyd.
-Hello.

-Is Mr. Henderson busy?
-Yes, but there's a Mr. Holroyd with him.

Of course, you understand,
you can keep the advance.

Well, think of the devil.

I'm sorry, Shep, I have to see you. Now.

Hi, dear. This is a pleasant surprise.

Come on in.

What do you suppose, Gil?
Shep turned down the book.

-I'm afraid I had to.
-You bet you did.

So long, Shep.
You and Gil will be hearing from me.

-You forgot your manuscript.
-Just drop it into the wastebasket.

It was silly of me to try
this writing bit anyway, wasn't it, Gil?

You can always go to another publisher.

No, I don't guess any other publisher
would do us much good.

-Would it, Gil?
-I doubt it.

I don't suppose you'd be interested
in the sequel I have in mind...

...about the islands in the Caribbean,
Voodoo Among the Virgins?

Don't trouble, Nicky.
I'm going to tell Shep.

Either way, it's your funeral, isn't it, dear?

What was that all about?

I decided this morning
that there's something I had to tell you...

...even if I thought you'd never find out.

Tell me what?

There are people who....

-Well, I've got to say it, who live by magic.
-By magic?

-You don't believe such thing at all?
-No, dear. No, I don't.

I'm one.

You're one what?

One of the people that the book's about.
And Nicky's one, too.

And he persuaded you to come in on it?
I'm sorry, dear. It just won't work.

I'd be happy to publish the book
just for you, but it's just terrible.

You don't understand, Shep.
I'm trying to explain something.

If you're trying to prove to me
that Nicky's a witch--

-The word is warlock.
-We don't have to get technical.

Now, dear, listen....

What is wrong?

Has Nicky been threatening you
or something?

About telling me something
about you or....

That's easy.

-You can tell me yourself.
-That's what I'm trying to do.

What is it? Something in your past?
What have you been up to?

You been engaging
in un-American activities or something?

No, I'd say very American.

Early American.

Maybe, I don't know.

Okay, I'll have a look.

-Just give me a minute.
-Shep.

There are people who possess powers
that others don't.

Go ahead, dear, I'm listening.

There are ways of altering things,
of manipulating things for yourself.

-That's very interesting.
-It's true. I know. I can do it.

You can? Go ahead.
Do something. Show me.

-No.
-Why not?

Because it's habit-forming.

I gave in to it only last night,
but I'm going to fight it.

I'm not going to let it destroy me
as a person.

-What did you do last night?
-I stopped that book from being published.

No, you didn't. No, that's my province.

I didn't say I stopped you
from publishing it.

-I stopped anyone from publishing it.
-Just how did you do that?

You'll say it's absurd.
I put on a spell. I used Pyewacket.

You mean you spoke to the cat about it?

You had him talk the publishers out of it?
Is Pyewacket a witch, too?

All right. Don't believe it.

Don't believe I brought Redlitch to you.
And don't believe--

Just a second.
Let's get our stories straight.

-Nicky says that he brought Redlitch.
-He's lying, because I did.

-With luminous paint, I suppose?
-Yes.

And your telephone.
Who do you think put it out of order?

-Providence.
-No!

-Who?
-Never mind!

Why would anyone want
to put my telephone out of order?

As a prank. A trick.

Like turning all the traffic lights
on 57th Street green.

That's what Nicky uses it for.
That and his love life.

His love life? That's kind of useful, isn't it?

I don't know what this is all about
and I don't know about Nicky's love life...

...but as far as the lights on 57th Street...

...and Redlitch and my telephone,
they're coincidences.

Oh, yes. They look like coincidences.

There's always a rational explanation
if you want it.

I'll take the rational explanation.

Yes, just as you took
the rational explanation of us.

What was that?

There, I've said it.

-You mean that was--
-Yes, that was.

What did happen early Christmas morning?
Was that rational?

Why not?

What happened
after Nicky and Queenie left? Exactly.

You asked me to have a drink.
So I sat down and talked about Merle.

And then I suddenly realised
I must be allergic to that cat of yours.

That's right. Go on.

I went over, I picked up my hat and coat....

Then I seemed to see you for the first time.

You left something out. What was I doing?

You weren't doing anything.

You were just sitting there,
humming to the cat.

What made you kiss me?

The same thing
that makes me want to kiss you right now.

I don't know why you want me
to believe you, but I believe you.

I believe you cast a spell on me,
an absolutely wonderful spell.

And I believe it and I'm crazy about it.

If you don't believe it, you don't.
I've tried. I tried my best.

I have tried my very best.

It's not possible.

Then, I've never seen her blush.

Does she float?

Stop it!

No, not you. Keep going.

Mr. Henderson,
I'm so thrilled about it all, you and Gillian.

I bumped into Nicky earlier,
and he told me everything.

To think that Gil was willing
to tell you all about herself.

I do hope you appreciate it,
because that's a dangerous thing to do.

It's so lovely
that you and Gil are getting married.

Marriage! And to an outsider!
That may be totally unprecedented.

I'm dining with Mrs. DePass tomorrow
and I must discuss it with her.

She'll know if it ever happened
to one of us before.

But whether it has or not, Shep,
I can call you Shep now, can't I?

-And you must call me Auntie.
-Let me get this straight.

-You mean you think you're one, too?
-Yes, Shep.

How else could I get into your apartment
when the door was locked?

Oh, very true.

That door's locked.
Let's watch you open it.

No, I mustn't. I've been forbidden.

-I took the oath.
-You took the oath.

-Gillian made me.
-Sure, she did.

You know, Gil is the gifted one,
but she began so much earlier than most.

So did Nicky. I came into it late.

But they were just babies
when they started.

Went to children's s�ances, I suppose.
Baby witch parties.

Yes. We lived in Massachusetts.

I see.

Miss Holroyd, you don't really think
that Gil has any powers, do you?

I know she has.
She's done some wonderful things.

My friend.

Those thunderstorms, for instance.

What thunderstorms?

The ones that made your Miss Kittredge
so sick at college.

Gil made them happen...

...but she had to do it
to settle accounts with her.

Just as she had to do
what she did about you.

I must go.

What did she do about me?

-Didn't she mention about the spell?
-Yes, I got that.

Then, otherwise you'd have gone
and married Miss Kittredge.

You mean that Gil went after me
out of spite against Merle?

No. Not altogether.
She found you very attractive.

-She liked you.
-She liked me?

That's a great deal for us, Shep.
It's not as if we could fall in love.

Love is quite impossible.

Not hot blood, though.
Hot blood is allowed.

But, of course, you know all about that.

Miss Holroyd,
I don't think we'd better go on with this.

I've been too bold, haven't I?

-I hope she likes it.
-I'm sure she will. Goodbye.

-Goodbye.
-Thanks.

-I gather Queenie's been talking.
-Yes, she has. She certainly has.

It seems you omitted a few high spots
this afternoon, didn't you?

You didn't tell me about you
and Merle Kittredge at college.

You didn't tell me that you went after me
just to spite her, did you?

I didn't, not to spite her.

-But you did. You went after me. Why?
-Because I wanted you.

-Because you were in love with me?
-How could I be? I'd just met you.

Are you in love with me now?

I'm more in love with you
than I've ever been with anyone.

That's an evasion.

I tried to tell you how it was with me.
I tried to tell you how it started with us.

I tried to tell you that getting things
that way was no good...

...and it was you that made me resolve
to be through with it.

I tried to tell you this afternoon, but you....

I did, but you found it so dreadfully funny.

-Don't tell me you're getting angry.
-I am not angry. I'm sorry.

How do you think I feel...

...to find out that you haven't been there
the whole time...

...and it's been a merry little adventure?

Don't pretend to cry
because you can't do that either!

So now you believe it.

Of course I don't believe it!
Not one single, stupid word of it!

I'm getting out of this building.

And don't think I'm coming back,
because I'm not. Ever!

You will. You have to!

You mean the spell?
We'll see about the spell!

Taxi! Taxi!

Fascinating, boy, fascinating.

I hope I can watch.

You're a fool. Who's a fool? You're a fool!

-Hello, Bianca.
-Good evening, Nicholas.

-Good evening, gentlemen.
-Mrs. DePass.

I assume this is the one
you phoned me about.

-No, I'm all right.
-No. This is Sidney Redlitch, Bianca.

Why, certainly. I'm an admirer of yours.

-This is indeed an honour.
-The honour is mine.

Bianca, this is Mr. Henderson.
He's the one.

How do you do?

Nicholas has explained your condition.
It's too bad. Too bad.

-Can you help me?
-I can but try. Please, step in.

No, no. I'm sorry. It's quite impossible.

-We'll wait in the cab, Shep.
-No, no. Better just carry on.

These matters often take
considerable time.

Good luck, Shep.

Goodbye, Shep.

Thank you.

Who's a fool? You're a fool!

Be quiet, Sybil!

Dear Gillian, only an amateur, of course,
but very effective now and then.

Do you know what she used?

Used?

Heart of a toad? White vinegar?
Swallow's liver?

-She used a cat.
-Cat?

That's right.

You must wear this.

Put it on.

-Can we get on with it, please?
-Patience.

''I conjure thee to remove all chains
and break all bonds which bind thee.''

-Drink it.
-Drink it? I will do no such thing!

-Drink it!
-Drink it.

Quickly, while it has strength!

Drink it!

Drink it!

All of it!

You're a fool! Who's a fool? You're a fool!

So cheapening, you taking him to see her!
He's too good for that sort of thing.

Come now, Gil,
just because you and Bianca are rivals.

We are not rivals.

That third-rate, vulgar,
self-advertising, mail-order sorceress.

You shouldn't have told him,
and you know it.

You know what it says on love potions:
''Shake well, but don't tell.''

That's what happens to people like us.
We forfeit everything...

...and we end up in a little world
of separateness from everyone.

If you don't mind, I'd like to see
Miss Holroyd for a few moments.

-Yeah, Shep, old boy.
-Nicky, will you, please?

Yeah. How are you?

Yeah. You're fine.

I heard about last night, Shep.

-What did you go there for?
-For the hair of the dog that bit me.

That's why.
Listen, I don't want to be here...

...and I wouldn't be,
except she said the treatment...

...wouldn't be complete
until I confronted you.

Nice of her to make that a condition.

And she told me to tell you
that if you have anything further in mind...

...she's fixed it so you can't undo this one.

Yes, and just how did she do that?

She said it was something she put in
that disgusting mess she made me drink.

I've never been so humiliated in all my life!
To say nothing of the money it cost me!

-What did she charge?
-$1,000.

-What?
-$1,000. At least she took a cheque.

She also said that if we'd gotten married...

...it would've cost a lot more than that
to get divorced.

-That's a pretty comparison.
-Yeah, but it's a good one.

Pretty good one, not bad, pretty good.

And now, if you'll forgive me,
I think I'll be going.

Believe me, I've had my fill of this bell,
book and candle set.

-It wasn't necessary for you to move, Shep.
-Yes, it was.

I may have trouble subletting.
This isn't the kind of a house...

...that I could wholeheartedly recommend
to anybody. Good day.

-You mean goodbye?
-That's right.

-I'll never see you again?
-I can't see what for.

-I suppose you'll go back to Merle.
-Perhaps, if she'll have me.

I forgot, I'm going to a hotel,
so I won't be needing this.

Maybe you might, in case you get sick
of the primitive art business.

Have broom, will travel.

So...

...a trip to the Brooklyn Harpy,
a visit to me, a final moronic joke...

...and away we go! It's that easy, is it?

Go back to Merle Kittredge, will you?
Not if I have anything to say about it.

Perhaps you're defrosted,
but I haven't even begun with her!

Let's see, what would be fancy enough?

I'll transport her.

Before I'm through with her,
she'll see more geography...

...than Marco Polo!

And you needn't chase after her.
Before she leaves I'll infatuate her.

I'll make her fall for someone,
the first stranger that walks in on her...

...the mailman, the plumber,
the window washer.

Pyewacket!

Holy smoke!

Pyewacket, where are you?

I know how it sounds.
I'm under a spell. I'm enchanted.

Sure, it's inconceivable, but it's a fact.

I tell you, there are such things
and they're right here in New York.

-There are?
-Yes.

That girl you know, Gillian Holroyd,
she's one.

A witch?
Shep, you just never learned to spell.

How about those thunderstorms
while you were in college?

Think they were ordinary thunderstorms?
Well, they weren't plain, ordinary....

In the last half-hour,
have you had an urge to go on a vacation?

To get away from it all?

-No, dear, only from you.
-Only from me. That's a good one.

All I want to do,
is to tell you why I'm here.

I have to tell you
something peculiar may happen to you.

And if it does, maybe I can help you.

-If this is your idea of a way to crawl back--
-You think what you like.

Just don't blame me if you're eating
sukiyaki before the week's out.

Naughty cat! Naughty cat!
Gillian's been looking all over for you!

Why can't you understand
that I'm just trying to--

Let me call Dr. Cook.
Maybe he can help you.

A doctor? I'm not crazy, Merle!

I may sound like a lunatic,
but I'm not crazy!

I'm not trying to whip up any old passion,
so you don't--

It's the exterminator. Can he come in?

-Yes, dear.
-No.

I wouldn't let him come in here
if I were you.

-Why not?
-Because he'll seduce you!

-Send him in.
-Yes, ma'am.

-I'm really getting fed up with all this!
-What do you think I feel like?

I'm trying to help you.

Good morning.
You can start in the bedroom.

Yes, ma'am.

Bon voyage.

On the roof, of all places.

He's never gone off like that, has he?
Do you think he was looking for a mate?

Pyewacket, come here!

Pyewacket, get down here this instant!

Come here. Get down. Come on.

What's the matter?

-I have a little job for him to do.
-You mean....

-How thrilling! Who is it going to be?
-Miss Poison Pen, Merle Kittredge.

It's just wonderful, dear,
you're staging a comeback.

What are you going to do to her?
Why don't you burn down her house?

Or have all her hair fall out!

Pyewacket! Pyewacket!

Tears.

Real tears.

It's true, that old wives' tale.

It's true! That's why Pyewacket ran away.

You've lost your powers.

I've fallen in love.

I've been coming down with it all along,
I guess.

I didn't know what it was.

What is it like, Gillian, love?

I've never had it, you know.

Is it wonderful?

Wonderful? Oh, no!

Auntie, it's awful.

Auntie, I don't want to be human, not now!

I've said for years, the ideal situation
at cockcrow is to be alone...

...with one's subject,
on the threshold of a deserted lea.

But where can one find
a deserted lea nowadays?

It's impossible.

You can't even find a barber shop
that's open at 4:00 a.m.

I haven't had any luck, either.

I'll put that down.

I think our friend Redlitch
is kind of gone on Mrs. DePass.

Haven't you heard?
He's writing her life story.

I'm so worried about Gil.

She's been so unhappy
these last couple of months.

She asked for it.

You mustn't talk like that. She's so alone.

Even Pyewacket left her,
and I can't get him to go back to her.

No wonder. He's a cool cat.

I keep thinking if only something could be
done about getting her and Shep together.

Nature might take its course.

-All right. Why don't you fix it?
-My hands are tied.

She's even forbidden me to tell Shep
about her predicament.

-Would you handle it?
-Me? No, I'm sorry. I don't believe in it.

If I've told you once,
I've told you 1,000 times.

It never pays to get mixed up
with human beings.

The best thing for Gil would be
to come back to us, where she belongs.

You don't really understand. She's in love.

Wouldn't she rather be dead?

I simply have to do something.

I simply have to.

-Tina, I'm trying to work.
-Sorry, Mr. Henderson.

For pete's sake!

I bet I've told you 1,000 times
about that window.

-I'll close it, Mr. Henderson.
-No, leave it alone!

Got to have some air
in this God-forsaken office.

Finish it?

How am I supposed to finish it
when I'm getting interrupted?

Let's get some lights in here.

-Can't you do all that later?
-You wanted these arranged right away.

I know what I want! Just leave me alone!
I'm working!

No, you're not! You're howling!
You've been howling for weeks and weeks!

And if you want to fire me, go ahead!
Who wants to work for a coyote?

Coyote.

-Can I help you?
-Yes, you can take your cat back.

I should think this little game of yours
is about worn thin.

What on earth are you doing
with Pyewacket?

-Somebody gave him my address.
-Well, I didn't!

-He's your cat, isn't he?
-No, he's not my cat.

I don't care whether you put him
outside my window...

...or had him fly there. It doesn't matter.
I thought I made myself clear on that.

-What do you mean, he's not your cat?
-He doesn't belong to me anymore.

Why not?

He broke too many shells.

-Where's he going?
-Queenie's. He's hers now.

Queenie's?

Yes. Queenie.

I'm sorry, Shep. I'll speak to her.
I promise nothing else will happen.

I didn't mean to get sore.

That's all right.

-When did all this take place?
-Recently.

-It's quite a change, isn't it?
-Yes.

You seem changed, too.

Do I?

Please, you don't have to stay
and be polite.

-Is this one of the rare ones?
-No. It's a Triton's Trumpet.

From the Philippines.

Are you doing well?

Yes, very. How are things with you?

-Fine.
-Good. How's Merle?

She's fine. Fine, I guess.
I haven't seen much of her lately.

I must say it was decent of you
not to hex her after all.

-Did you think better of it?
-Yes.

It's extraordinary
the way we can discuss things like this.

-Because....
-I know, we're strangers to each other.

No, not quite that.

I wish you wouldn't stare at me so.

-Gil, you're not blushing?
-Of course not.

I want you to have this.

It's a small return for what I cost you.

So little, compared to what you gave me.

-I never gave you much of anything.
-Yes, you did.

You gave me something wonderful!
You made me unhappy.

-You're crying, too!
-All right, I'm crying!

-Why didn't you come and tell me?
-I don't know. Pride, I guess, or shame.

-How did it happen?
-It just happened. It does, sometimes.

No, it only happens one way.

The story is,
it only happens if you fall in love.

And it's been happening to me, too.
Ever since I walked in here.

Only it's real this time.

Or has it been real all along?

Who's to say what magic is?

-Gil, don't you want to stop crying now?
-I don't think I can.

I'm only human.

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