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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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-But I don't want to go to summer camp.
-Are you kidding?
2
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You'll have a great time. Look at this one.
3
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It's a computer camp
with a theater program.
4
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Ethernet by day, No, no, Nanette by night.
5
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I don't want to go to camp.
6
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If the kid doesn't want to go,
don't make him go.
7
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-Yeah.
-He's 10, he's old enough to work.
8
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What?
9
00:00:19,316 --> 00:00:23,445
When I was your age, I spent my summers
hosing tarantulas off bananas
10
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in the back of my stepfather's truck.
11
00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:29,276
-What's going on?
-I'm going to camp.
12
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Okay. Morning, all. Beautiful day.
13
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-You're in a good mood.
-Well, I suppose I am.
14
00:00:36,988 --> 00:00:39,741
I got a little e-mail this morning
from an ex-girlfriend,
15
00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:42,430
who says she needs to "see" me.
16
00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:46,211
No kidding. I wonder if she's "knocked up."
17
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:50,946
Nobody's knocked up.
I haven't heard from her in five years.
18
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So she's bringing you a 4-year-old.
19
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Believe me, nobody's bringing anything.
20
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-Remember Jill?
-Jill the slob?
21
00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:01,703
Yeah, but do you remember
how hot she was?
22
00:01:01,704 --> 00:01:06,345
Sure, she was a tight unit,
but she left dirty dishes everywhere.
23
00:01:06,346 --> 00:01:10,539
Swear to God, this broad left
half eaten casseroles in the bathtub.
24
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So?
25
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:15,406
With a body like that she could drink
out of the toilet if she wanted to.
26
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Wait a minute.
Isn't she the one who dumped you?
27
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Somebody dumped Charlie?
28
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Broke his little black heart.
It was pathetic.
29
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She didn't dump me.
30
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She had personal problems and moved
to Europe to, you know, find herself.
31
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-Berta?
-He wept.
32
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,615
I did not. I felt the appropriate
amount of sadness
33
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:37,176
for a good relationship
that had run its course.
34
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I had to carry him to bed
three nights in a row.
35
00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:43,387
I was perfectly happy
sleeping under the deck.
36
00:01:43,388 --> 00:01:46,173
You bring her home, you clean up after.
37
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Thank God you never get any.
38
00:02:14,282 --> 00:02:16,587
-What can I get for you?
-White wine, please.
39
00:02:16,588 --> 00:02:18,987
Maybe a Chablis.
40
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:22,677
You know, make it a beer. Light beer.
41
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Just a beer.
42
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Another one?
43
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Might as well.
Looks like I'm getting stood up.
44
00:02:32,756 --> 00:02:34,996
Chicks, huh?
45
00:02:34,997 --> 00:02:37,684
Maybe she's got a good reason.
46
00:02:38,198 --> 00:02:40,374
I tell you what,
if it were any other woman,
47
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:41,975
I'd have been out of here an hour ago.
48
00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:44,152
-Really?
-Oh, yeah.
49
00:02:44,153 --> 00:02:47,838
This girl? This girl's something different.
50
00:02:50,075 --> 00:02:52,380
How so?
51
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,774
Well, did you ever go out
with somebody who's not only
52
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great in bed
but also like a really cool friend?
53
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Yeah. Once.
54
00:03:01,761 --> 00:03:03,650
In fact, now that I think about it,
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00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:06,146
the friendship was the best part
of our relationship.
56
00:03:06,147 --> 00:03:07,619
No kidding?
57
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,537
Yeah. The sex was a little weird.
58
00:03:13,222 --> 00:03:16,418
We would like wrestle to get on top.
59
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:23,179
She would actually get angry
if she wasn't up there.
60
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,665
Maybe she had a good reason.
61
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:29,324
Maybe.
62
00:03:29,327 --> 00:03:31,725
Charlie, look at me.
63
00:03:36,402 --> 00:03:39,645
-How do you know my name?
-It's me.
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00:03:40,244 --> 00:03:42,643
Me who?
65
00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:52,151
No.
66
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:55,929
Yes.
67
00:03:56,764 --> 00:03:58,683
Jill?
68
00:03:58,684 --> 00:04:01,083
Bill.
69
00:04:03,903 --> 00:04:06,302
No.
70
00:04:14,052 --> 00:04:16,132
We're gonna need two shots of tequila.
71
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:19,493
-That's okay, I don't want to...
-They're not for you.
72
00:04:19,494 --> 00:04:22,151
This girl you're waiting for
really must be something.
73
00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:25,416
Just serve the hooch
and mind your own business.
74
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,670
-Listen, Charlie, I know...
-Hang on.
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00:04:32,365 --> 00:04:34,541
Okay, go.
76
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,462
I know this comes as a shock to you.
77
00:04:36,463 --> 00:04:38,671
Please, if I had a nickel for every time
78
00:04:38,672 --> 00:04:40,944
a girl dumped me
and disappeared for five years
79
00:04:40,945 --> 00:04:44,273
and came back as a guy, I'd have a nickel.
80
00:04:44,274 --> 00:04:46,323
Keep them coming.
81
00:04:46,324 --> 00:04:48,211
I think I owe you an explanation.
82
00:04:48,212 --> 00:04:50,196
Who pays the nickel, by the way?
83
00:04:50,197 --> 00:04:54,025
Is it you or just out of some general fund?
84
00:04:54,968 --> 00:04:57,366
Yeah?
85
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:04,521
Remember, when we broke up and I said,
"It's not you, it's me"?
86
00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:09,829
Yes. And I believe you now.
87
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:15,200
I was so mixed up and unhappy
as a woman.
88
00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:17,985
So? I know lots of mixed up,
unhappy women.
89
00:05:17,986 --> 00:05:20,771
They go shopping and eat ice cream.
Did you even try that?
90
00:05:20,771 --> 00:05:22,948
I tried everything, but the truth is,
91
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:25,573
I was always a man trapped
in a woman's body.
92
00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:27,750
No, I'm not buying this.
93
00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:30,952
If you were really a man back then,
you would've jumped at that
94
00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:34,409
three-way with the cocktail waitress
in Carmel.
95
00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:36,779
I begged you.
96
00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:40,780
-You haven't changed.
-I wish I could say the same.
97
00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:43,373
Charlie, how could I have explained it
to you back then?
98
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:45,742
I couldn't even explain it to myself.
99
00:05:45,743 --> 00:05:49,044
Okay, now you've explained. Thank you.
100
00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,442
Nice to see you again.
101
00:05:51,443 --> 00:05:53,842
Good luck with the penis.
102
00:05:54,579 --> 00:05:56,978
Wait.
103
00:05:57,077 --> 00:06:00,886
A few minutes ago you said
I was a really cool friend.
104
00:06:00,887 --> 00:06:02,230
Yeah.
105
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:07,451
Well, I'm back in LA and I'm kind of
starting a new life.
106
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:12,108
-And I could really use a friend.
-Oh, boy.
107
00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:14,877
It's just...
108
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:17,593
You know, I'm completely alone,
109
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,510
and I'm really scared.
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Jeez.
111
00:06:25,603 --> 00:06:28,921
-It's gonna be okay, Jill.
-Bill.
112
00:06:29,668 --> 00:06:32,899
Yeah, Bill, whatever. It's okay.
113
00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:35,589
I'm still your friend.
114
00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:38,342
Charlie, you're the best.
115
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:46,437
I wish I could've loved you the way
you deserve to be loved.
116
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,943
Thanks for the ride, Bill.
You're a good friend.
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00:06:52,944 --> 00:06:56,955
-You called me Bill.
-That's your name, lady.
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00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,962
Just like old times, huh?
119
00:06:58,963 --> 00:07:02,067
Drag your drunk ass home,
take you upstairs,
120
00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:04,466
get you undressed and...
121
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,704
Alan.
122
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:14,009
You never met my brother, Alan, did you?
123
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,571
No, I never met anyone
in your family, Charlie.
124
00:07:16,571 --> 00:07:18,811
Yeah, different rules now.
125
00:07:18,812 --> 00:07:22,813
Bill, this is my brother Alan.
Alan, this is my old friend, Bill.
126
00:07:22,814 --> 00:07:25,054
-Nice to meet you, Bill.
-Same here.
127
00:07:25,055 --> 00:07:30,336
I thought you were gonna hook up with
that girlfriend who wanted to "see" you.
128
00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:31,841
Right.
129
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:35,805
Turns out she changed her "mind."
130
00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:41,988
Anyway, I ran into my old friend, Bill, here.
131
00:07:45,288 --> 00:07:48,483
So, stood up by Jill, ran into Bill.
132
00:07:48,842 --> 00:07:51,050
That's funny.
133
00:07:51,051 --> 00:07:53,740
You have a sick sense of humor, Alan.
134
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,621
The house is clean, I'm going home now.
135
00:07:56,622 --> 00:07:59,054
I'll pick that up on Monday.
136
00:07:59,055 --> 00:08:01,454
I'm sorry, that's mine.
137
00:08:05,074 --> 00:08:07,473
Hi.
138
00:08:07,476 --> 00:08:09,875
Hi.
139
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,477
Okay, I'm out of here.
140
00:08:23,387 --> 00:08:25,755
So, Bill, you from around here?
141
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,964
I was, but I moved away
for a couple years.
142
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,109
I'm planning on moving back
and buying a place.
143
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,582
Hello.
144
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:35,098
Evelyn Harper, Evelyn Harper Real Estate.
145
00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:39,781
-Yeah, Mom's here.
-No problem, I'm drunk.
146
00:08:40,963 --> 00:08:43,235
I'm Bill Shraeder. I'm a friend of Charlie's.
147
00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:45,477
No need to apologize.
148
00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:48,198
So, are you interested in renting
or buying?
149
00:08:48,199 --> 00:08:50,119
-Buying.
-Excellent.
150
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,815
Price range?
151
00:08:51,816 --> 00:08:54,858
-I'm flexible.
-I'll bet you are.
152
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:58,482
-But I was talking money.
-So was l.
153
00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:03,217
Sexy and liquid. I like that in a man.
154
00:09:04,783 --> 00:09:07,728
-Nice guy. Poker buddy?
-Used to.
155
00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:12,912
And don't call me "buddy."
156
00:09:17,236 --> 00:09:19,635
There it is.
157
00:09:20,663 --> 00:09:23,703
Thank you so much for showing me
the condos, Evelyn.
158
00:09:23,704 --> 00:09:25,496
Thank you for dinner, Bill.
159
00:09:25,496 --> 00:09:27,895
Thank you for dessert.
160
00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:34,396
Shall we go to my place
for coffee and cigars?
161
00:09:34,397 --> 00:09:38,858
-I don't smoke.
-You will when I'm done with you.
162
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:44,287
Oh, my God.
163
00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:46,752
He's like half her age.
164
00:09:48,452 --> 00:09:50,850
Yeah. That's the problem.
165
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:59,047
I'm trying, Charlie.
I'm trying to be open-minded.
166
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:05,226
But our mom with a guy who's younger
than us, it's just freaking me out.
167
00:10:05,227 --> 00:10:06,443
Trust me, Alan.
168
00:10:06,444 --> 00:10:11,181
Very soon you're gonna be looking back
on this moment with fond nostalgia.
169
00:10:11,182 --> 00:10:13,581
-What do you mean?
-Look.
170
00:10:13,936 --> 00:10:16,016
-Who's this?
-This is Jill.
171
00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:18,065
The woman who dumped you?
172
00:10:18,065 --> 00:10:20,177
Get over that. Nobody dumped me.
173
00:10:20,178 --> 00:10:22,515
All right, I'm sorry.
Why are we looking at Jill?
174
00:10:22,516 --> 00:10:24,914
-Just look at it.
-Okay.
175
00:10:24,981 --> 00:10:27,317
She's cute.
176
00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:29,174
Very tall.
177
00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:32,274
Broad shoulders. Holy mother of God!
178
00:10:34,906 --> 00:10:37,304
Welcome to the Matrix.
179
00:10:39,324 --> 00:10:42,522
-So Jill is...
-Yep.
180
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:48,569
-And you and Jill used to...
-Every chance we got.
181
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,951
-And Mom is...
-At this very moment.
182
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:57,186
Holy mother of God!
183
00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:59,556
What are you guys yelling about?
184
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:01,956
-Go to bed.
-Go to bed.
185
00:11:02,919 --> 00:11:06,279
-Do you realize what this means?
-Yes.
186
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,769
I slept with a woman
who wanted to be a man.
187
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:13,493
Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body.
188
00:11:13,644 --> 00:11:17,773
Or, and this is my new favorite,
and the title of my autobiography,
189
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:21,171
my mom and I slept with the same dude.
190
00:11:24,658 --> 00:11:28,338
Excuse me, could we just
table that for now and discuss
191
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,611
how this impacts on our mother?
192
00:11:30,612 --> 00:11:33,251
Why? The damage has been done.
193
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,061
All that's left to do now is drink
194
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:38,583
until the part of the brain
that creates mental pictures is dead.
195
00:11:38,584 --> 00:11:40,504
Charlie, stay with me.
196
00:11:40,505 --> 00:11:42,903
Do you think I'm gay?
197
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:46,619
For God's sake, Charlie,
this is not about you.
198
00:11:46,620 --> 00:11:49,018
I like musical theater.
199
00:11:51,006 --> 00:11:54,110
Maybe all these years
I've been pathologically chasing women
200
00:11:54,111 --> 00:11:57,086
because I've been overcompensating.
201
00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:00,595
You know, I've often thought that.
202
00:12:01,091 --> 00:12:03,907
What? I'm agreeing with you.
What do you want to hear?
203
00:12:03,908 --> 00:12:06,436
I want you to tell me
that there is no chance
204
00:12:06,437 --> 00:12:12,655
that either of us will ever have to call
a woman I slept with "Daddy."
205
00:12:22,413 --> 00:12:24,811
Jill the slob.
206
00:12:31,602 --> 00:12:34,001
Gadzooks!
207
00:12:37,461 --> 00:12:39,859
-Morning.
-Morning.
208
00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:49,464
So, how was your weekend?
209
00:12:50,138 --> 00:12:51,738
-Fine.
-Okay.
210
00:12:51,739 --> 00:12:54,748
Nothing exciting happening
in your world, Charlie?
211
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:57,500
-Like what?
-I don't know.
212
00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:00,734
Go to a fun party? See a great movie?
213
00:13:00,735 --> 00:13:04,132
Run into an old flame with a new wick?
214
00:13:07,906 --> 00:13:09,507
What are the odds?
215
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:13,541
One brother turns them gay,
and the other turns them guy.
216
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,902
If you don't mind, Berta,
I'd rather not talk about it.
217
00:13:16,903 --> 00:13:20,098
Okay. I'll fix you something to eat.
218
00:13:20,392 --> 00:13:23,337
How about a sausage link
and a couple eggs?
219
00:13:23,338 --> 00:13:25,258
Hello? Anybody home?
220
00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:27,658
Oh, no.
221
00:13:28,236 --> 00:13:32,621
Charlie, I need to talk to you
about your friend, Bill.
222
00:13:32,622 --> 00:13:35,021
-Oh, boy.
-Oh, boy.
223
00:13:36,144 --> 00:13:42,007
You know, I'd really rather
not discuss this in front of the help.
224
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:46,462
-Berta, could you give us some privacy?
-Hell, no.
225
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:49,621
-Sorry.
-Okay.
226
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:58,903
Bill and I shared something
very special this weekend.
227
00:14:00,636 --> 00:14:03,772
I realize that might be awkward for you,
228
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:07,070
so I thought I'd come by to discuss it.
229
00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:10,368
That's nice, Mom. Isn't that nice, Alan?
230
00:14:10,369 --> 00:14:15,010
You're the expert, Charlie.
Is it too early to start drinking?
231
00:14:15,011 --> 00:14:17,091
What's that supposed to mean?
232
00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:21,916
Mom, how much do you know about Bill?
233
00:14:22,182 --> 00:14:25,287
Charlie, I have no doubt
that you two shared
234
00:14:25,288 --> 00:14:29,913
some sordid adventures together,
but that's the past.
235
00:14:31,018 --> 00:14:33,002
The only thing that matters to me now is
236
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:37,350
that Bill is a handsome,
sensitive, wonderful man.
237
00:14:38,574 --> 00:14:39,982
Excuse me?
238
00:14:39,983 --> 00:14:43,101
Nothing. I'm just happy to be here.
239
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,513
Frankly, Mom,
I'm a little uncomfortable with this.
240
00:14:46,514 --> 00:14:49,911
A little? I think I'm having a stroke.
241
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,062
I knew it. You hypocrites.
242
00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:57,782
It's perfectly all right for you
to date younger women.
243
00:14:57,783 --> 00:15:01,079
But when a mature woman
gets involved with a younger man,
244
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,545
somehow it's scandalous and immoral.
245
00:15:03,546 --> 00:15:07,579
-No, Mom, it's not the age.
-Well, what then?
246
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,019
Because he's your friend?
247
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,709
I didn't object when you dated
that friend of mine.
248
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,630
-You what?
-One time.
249
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:17,075
I was 19 and she was a very doable 42.
250
00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:21,313
And if you heard how she talked about
you, you wouldn't call her a friend.
251
00:15:21,314 --> 00:15:25,059
I've heard enough.
I'm going to continue to see Bill,
252
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:28,165
and if you don't like it, that's just too bad.
253
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:31,270
Wait, Mom, I thought you came here
so that we could discuss it.
254
00:15:31,271 --> 00:15:36,500
Please, I came here to brag.
I just needed an opening line.
255
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:41,003
-Wow, she doesn't know.
-Someone's going to have to tell her.
256
00:15:41,004 --> 00:15:42,764
-Charlie?
-What?
257
00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:48,138
I'll clean your house free for a month
if you let me do it.
258
00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:54,802
Come on, it is a little funny.
259
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:58,900
When we were dating
you never wanted me to meet your mom.
260
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:02,911
All right, maybe not so much funny
as ironic.
261
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,718
-Look, Jill. Bill.
-You're angry with me.
262
00:16:07,224 --> 00:16:09,811
Not angry. Not thrilled.
263
00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:12,538
Charlie, I never planned for this to happen.
264
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,843
I mean, your mom and I just hit it off.
265
00:16:14,844 --> 00:16:18,013
She beautiful, intelligent, self-assured,
266
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:22,332
and she's just exploding
with this raw sexuality.
267
00:16:22,623 --> 00:16:25,691
No, listen, fella,
268
00:16:25,857 --> 00:16:30,018
I don't know what they told you
in orientation,
269
00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:33,796
but, Rule Number 1, when a guy talks
like that about another guy's mom,
270
00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:36,197
he's likely to get his ass kicked.
271
00:16:36,198 --> 00:16:38,758
Come on, Charlie,
please don't get all macho on me.
272
00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:41,736
You couldn't take me when I was a girl.
273
00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:43,112
Don't change the subject.
274
00:16:43,113 --> 00:16:46,314
We're talking about you and my mother.
Why haven't you told her?
275
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:48,779
-Told her what?
-That you're lactose intolerant.
276
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:50,316
What do you think?
277
00:16:50,317 --> 00:16:52,429
-Stop yelling at me.
-I'm not yelling at you!
278
00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:54,829
Yes, you are!
279
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,158
Okay, I'm sorry.
280
00:16:58,512 --> 00:17:00,017
Look, you need to understand
281
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:03,442
that no matter how much I hate
my mother, I love my mother,
282
00:17:03,443 --> 00:17:05,139
and I don't want to see her get hurt.
283
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,724
So, you got to tell her before
she finds out the hard way.
284
00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:11,364
Or whatever way she finds out.
285
00:17:12,952 --> 00:17:14,647
But what if she rejects me?
286
00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:17,593
Welcome to the rodeo, Calamity Jane.
287
00:17:17,594 --> 00:17:19,289
You want to be a real man?
288
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:22,491
Grab hold of those store-bought balls
and just tell the truth.
289
00:17:22,492 --> 00:17:24,891
Yeah, you're right.
290
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,119
We still friends?
291
00:17:33,409 --> 00:17:35,808
Yeah. Sure.
292
00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:41,799
I'm glad.
They're made out of Teflon, you know.
293
00:17:43,558 --> 00:17:45,957
Okay, Rule Number 2...
294
00:17:48,264 --> 00:17:49,609
What'd I miss?
295
00:17:49,609 --> 00:17:51,882
Nothing. I don't think he's told her yet.
296
00:17:51,883 --> 00:17:54,699
What are you doing here?
You finished cleaning hours ago.
297
00:17:54,700 --> 00:18:00,706
I took a nap in the laundry room
so I'd be fresh for the big show.
298
00:18:01,294 --> 00:18:04,182
Okay, I think he's going for it.
299
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:19,550
-Wow, that went surprisingly well.
-Damn.
300
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:25,764
Wait a minute, what's he doing?
301
00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:42,111
There you go.
302
00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:44,897
See you tomorrow.
303
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,920
Okay, we'll make a list.
304
00:18:54,921 --> 00:19:00,131
The pros and cons of continuing
your relationship with Bill.
305
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:05,722
-Mom?
-Well, he certainly understands women.
306
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:08,974
Okay, that's a pro.
307
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:11,374
He used to be a woman.
308
00:19:12,432 --> 00:19:14,831
I'll put con.
309
00:19:16,691 --> 00:19:19,379
He slept with Charlie
when he was a woman.
310
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:22,403
Pro. No, wait, con. Definitely con.
311
00:19:22,678 --> 00:19:28,003
-He knows what I like in bed.
-He knows what I like in bed.
312
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:31,640
We'll call that a wash.
313
00:19:32,026 --> 00:19:35,298
-What's the score?
-It's about even.
314
00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:38,684
He's gorgeous.
315
00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:41,181
He can afford beach-front property
316
00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:45,983
and he's got a trunk full of fabulous shoes
that fit me perfectly.
317
00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:49,074
Don't wait up, Mommy's got a date.
24083
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