Original subtitles

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Making their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw!'

Now anybody with the brains that God gave a goose

knows that Daisy Duke wouldn't do any wrong.

Some folks ain't that smart.

I can't wait to hear how Bo's doing in Talladega.

Oh hell, it's getting near noon.

We better hustle if we don't wanna miss his phone call.

There's them Duke boys. We're gonna cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

I love it, I love it.

'Great, one of Rosco's phony speed traps.'

Ain't got time to deal with him now.

Now these two slicks headedfor Hazzard

are the traveling fortune tellers

looking for some folks to flim-flam. Look out, Hazzard.

Look out!

Where'd they go? You don't know either, huh?

Head back and see if we can help him fix the van.

Yeah.

Are you alright? We came back to lend a hand. I'm so sorry.

You okay?

The spirits were lookin' over us or we'd be in the hereafter.

Oh, excuse me.

This is Madame Delilah, the world's greatest fortune teller.

And I'm her assistant, Three Pack.

- How you doing? - Pleased to meet you.

- I'm Daisy, my cousin Luke. - Pleased to meet you.

And I really wanna apologize for Sheriff Rosco.

- Bless you and thank you. - Oh, you're welcome.

As a token of my appreciation

I will predict your future at no charge.

- That won't be necessary, I... - Come on, Daisy.

- I insist. - Well, okay.

Oh, you have a very strong heart line.

- I do? - And will live a long life.

But your fate line shows danger. Trouble is very close.

I heard that. Come on, let's go.

Bye-bye and thank you.

The locals around here look like a soft touch, Madame D.

The vibrations are favorable.

We should do very well in Hazzard.

Now, you don't have to be no prophet to predict

that these two are gonna bring

a passel of bad luck to the Dukes.

Now, don't worry, friends. Flash is holding her steady.

You see, everybody drives in Hazzard.

Oh, Flash, darling you saved Daddy's life.

Oh, velvet ears, I'm gonna vote you dog driver of the year.

Meanwhile, at the Boar's Nest

Boss Hogg's little fat fingers was flyin'.

While his fat ears were shutting out distraction.

What was that you said, my little praline?

You heard me, sugar.

A $100,000 bonds remember that my Uncle Jasper left me

20 years ago?

Well, they're comin' due tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. Them bonds, yeah, yeah.

I almost forgot about them bonds, yeah.

Well, I didn't.

And at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning

I'm gonna open that safe and take those bonds out

and take 'em to the post office

and send them to the company and cash them in.

Oh, well, wait a minute!

Well, you didn't, wait up, hold everything.

There's no reason for you to cash them bonds in just now.

Yes, there is. Oh, J.D., for the first time in my life

I'm gonna have some mad money of my very own.

- Isn't that wonderful? - Yeah, but don't cash...

I'm going to town. Bye, sweet potato.

No! You don't have to cash them bonds in, do you?

But, Lulu... Dang-blast! Oh! Oh, oh.

As Daisy and Luke, was meeting Uncle Jesse

Rosco was, well, being Rosco.

Boss, I didn't know that you were relaxing.

You know nothing.

Lying on the floor's good for your back.

I'm gonna be black and blue all over before I'm through.

Listen, Boss, you know somethin'

I am absolutely furious at them Dukes.

You know what I oughta do, as they're always running away.

I oughta give old Daisy Duke a double citation.

- What's wrong with your leg? - No, don't touch me!

No, it ain't no vapor lock. Just go away, will you?

And hush up for a change.

I mean, I got bigger problems now than you or them Dukes.

My marriage to your sister about to blow up

into itty bitty little smithereens.

Oh, Well, listen. You just tell old Rosco all about it

while I give old velvet ears a drink, you know?

She drinks a lot of water like a burnt-out camel.

And back in the main room

old Flim n Flam was about to go into their act.

Hear ye, hear ye good people of Hazzard County.

May I present to you the world's famous fortuneteller

the all-knowing, all-seeing Madame Delilah.

I mean, I must be losing my mind or something.

How in the name of all that's holy

could I have forgotten all about them $100,000 worth of bonds

your Uncle Jasper left to Lulu?

- Oh, you forgot about that? - I did.

- What's the trouble? - I never told you this before.

But years ago I took them bonds of Lulu's

outta that private wall safe of hers, you see.

Then I went and cashed them in.

And tomorrow morning when Lulu tries to cash in them bonds

she's gonna find out they're fakes.

She's gonna know for sure it was me who swiped them.

- And I'm gonna be a dead Hogg. - Oh, I know.

Hey, wait a minute. What's happening to my leg?

Wait a minute. Oh, no, what did you do?

- Well.. - What did you do to me?

Wait a minute. Get this thing off. Get it off of me, will you?

Look what you've done. Oh, dagblast it.

Oh, Boss, don't...

Now, who's gonna be first? Step right up.

Oh, me. Take me. I just adore having my palm read.

The palm is the window to the soul.

So just relax, my dear.

And I shall unveil your future.

Lulu is gonna snap her girdle when she

finds you swiped those bonds of hers.

I know.

She'll hit you with a left hook or a right hook.

Then maybe she'll really hurt you.

And then she'll probably divorce you.

That's what's got me scared silly.

If she divorces me that little sugar pie of mine

is gonna grab everything I got.

- That's true. - She'd take me to the cleaners.

- That's bad news. - If so, your share goes too.

That's even worse.

Good grief.

Good, good, good. She's still in there.

And finally we come to the heart line.

Now, these three branches right here

indicate that you are most fortunate

in love and marriage.

Now, I gotta get me into town

and go and take them fake bonds out of Lulu's safe

and make it look like some crook done it.

- You rascal. - Don't do that.

I got a chance to save my marriage.

Don't forget your hat.

He's just so smart, that little chub.

I'm never wrong.

If Boss thought he was having trouble with one woman

in his life the problem was fixing to be compounded.

And that you will be coming into a large amount of money.

Madame Delilah, you've just been right about every single thing.

How can I ever thank you?

Oh, of course.

Here you go, honey.

There, now. Oh, that was wonderful.

- Thank you. - Bye, everybody.

Lulu sure goes for that fortune telling stuff, doesn't she?

Living with Boss will drive you to a lot of things.

Good people, who's gonna be next

to be helped by the all-knowing one, Madame Delilah?

Alright, you two.

We're not allowing charlatans in this town

so I'm saying scoot.

Do you realize who I am? How dare you?

Do you know who I am?

I am Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

And when he tells you to scoot, he means scoot.

That goes for you too you tiny little turban-tucker.

Oh, hush!

These country bumpkins aren't as stupid as we thought.

Don't worry, Madame D. I had time to case the place.

We'll come back after they close up.

Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Alright, I gotta get home.

Yeah, here I am! I made it!

I gotta get in there and save my marriage.

If I do nothing else today that's what I gotta do.

Oh, I made it.

Alright, alright, alright. Not a moment to lose.

I gotta get them fake bonds out of this here safe.

There, that's it. Oh, it ain't.

I know what. She done changed the combination!

Okay. It's closing time, everybody.

- Us too? - Yeah, you too.

Alright, we got chores to do anyway.

I'll lock up and I'll see you there.

- You come right home now. - I will.

Meanwhile, outside

them two phony fortune tellers was lying in wait.

And pretty soon the last customer had left

and Daisy was locking up to get ready for the evening crowd.

Hello, Boar's Nest. Daisy Duke speaking.

Is Boss Hogg there?

No, sorry, he's not in right now.

He's probably at his office in town.

Uh-huh, yeah he's in the County Building.

Oh, where's that?

That's across from the square in town.

Right next to the fire department.

Next to the fire station?

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. That's it.

Uh-huh, okay. Well, you're very welcome.

Yeah, no problem, bye-bye.

Come on.

Got it.

This is Daisy Duke calling the sheriff.

This is Daisy Duke calling the sheriff, Rosco?

'There's been a holdup at the Boar's Nest.'

Rosco, come in.'

This is Rosco. A holdup, huh?

Well, a holdup is my middle name.

I'll be right there because I'm very close by.

Oh, goody gumdrops.

A holdup, that's serious.

I'll be right behind Rosco, Daisy. Hang in there!

Thanks, Luke. Hurry up.

Oh, Rosco, Enos, I was counting the money..

And when I went to answer the phone

I turned around, the money was gone.

- I don't know what happened. - Enos, we'll check all doors.

- Hey, Daisy. - Luke.

The most awful thing happened.

I was sitting counting money went to answer the phone...

and I turned around, the money was gone.

Alright, alright. Let's just hush it all

because I will take over this investigation.

Let's get this straight. You say all the doors were locked.

- Right? - That's right.

You're the only one in here. Right?

- That's right. - And now the cash is gone.

- Correct. - That's right.

Rosco, for the life of me I don't know who took it.

Oh, I can. It just so happens, this could only be one person.

And that's moi.

- Enos, cuff her and stuff her. - Rosco, are you crazy?

Rosco, I don't know what happened here.

Your out of your mind thinking Daisy would steal that money.

Alright, I'm serious now where's that cash?

Rosco, you got no right to browbeat Daisy like that.

You better get about the business

of finding out who did this.

Rosco, I'm telling you I didn't take it.

And I don't know who did.

You ain't putting Daisy in jail for something she didn't do.

You know, I'll bet Daisy will be glad when Bo's back

so he could be the one getting into all the trouble.

- You idiot! Get out of my way. - Sorry, sheriff.

After them! Get that Daisy Duke!

Alright, Enos, this is your

superior officer, Rosco P. Coltrane.

'Pull it over there. Let me get by here.'

Enos!

En-Enos!

Good grief.

'Enos!'

Oh, Flash, we're gonna take a bath. Help me!

Right in the old Hazzard car wash.

Oh, sheriff, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..

- Oh, Rosco's alright. - Yep.

Call Uncle Jesse on the CB and tell him to meet us

at Jensen's Hollow.

Alright.

Since old Boss couldn't get into the safe

he figured he'll have to true-love

Miss Lulu into giving him the combination.

'Bye, Clara, honey. I had a very nice time, dear.'

Jefferson?

Jefferson, are you here?

Oh, my.

Welcome home, sugar plum pudding.

What a surprise. What is all going on here?

Oh, just something special I thunk up for you.

Come on over here, darling.

Yeah, sit yourself down in this lovely loveseat.

Oh! J.D.

And I want you to have some of these delicious

smoked hog-belly tidbits I made for you.

They've been specially soaked in gooseberry wine

and they go just great with the bubbly.

Oh, J.D., this is such a nice surprise.

And right in the middle of the day.

In the middle of the day.

Oh, here, here. There's one for you.

And one for me.

You know something, my little sugar plum.

You know why our marriage is so wonderful?

Because it's founded on mutual love and trust

and sharing.

Sharing everything alike.

One for you and one for me.

- I feel just the same way, J.D. - You do?

One for you.

And there's one for me.

You know something?

I want you to remember that you can have anything I got.

Anytime. Anything.

Oh, that's so sweet of you, my little candied yam.

Anythingat all.

Even, oh, the combination to my safe.

Is that what this is all about?

Are you trying to get the new combination to my safe?

Oh, is there a new one?

Oh. Well, no. No, of course not.

I mean, I'm-I'm just talking about sharing.

Well, J.D., I already know the combination to your safe.

Oh, yeah, you do. That's right.

- Of course you do. - And you ain't getting mine.

Yeah, but wait a minute.

Suppose something, heaven forbid, happened to you.

Nothing serious, mind you. But, well, something like..

Permanently losing your memory.

Forget it, J.D.

My memory's just fine.

Matter of fact, I just remembered that I have

a meeting I have to go to right now.

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

So thanks for the snack, lollipop.

You're welcome.

- Bye. - Bye.

Well, that was a howling success, Boss.

Old Rosco had to wait so long for Enos and Cooter

that he was bone dry.

But mad as an old wet hen.

- Cooter. - Sorry about that.

Yeah, tell Boss Hogg I'm gonna send him a bill.

Better than that, I'm gonna take it to him this afternoon.

Yes, It ought to pay my mortgage for the next two months.

Y'all have a nice day. Ha ha ha!

Enos, it's all your fault, you dipstick.

Now, get a rag and wipe this vehicle off. I gotta go back.

Will you get up out of the mud? Just, oh, look at that.

Meanwhile, Luke and Daisy was meeting with Uncle Jesse

at their hideout in Jensen's Hollow.

But I can't get over Rosco wanting to throw me in jail.

Well, now, Luke and me ain't gonna let that happen.

So just relax.

I don't understand. What could've happened to that money?

One minute, it was just sitting there. The next minute, gone.

I don't know how, but he did it.

You mean J.D.'d steal his own receipts?

In a minute. So he can collect from the insurance company

and double his money.

How could he do such an awful thing to me?

If he smelled a profit, he'd sell his mother to swap meat.

I ain't gonna let him get away. I'm gonna have a talk with J.D.

Uncle Jesse, you put it in his face he's gonna stonewall you.

'We're gonna have to get the goods on him ourselves.'

I'll go into town, nose around a lil' bit.

I'm going with you.

Daisy, ain't you been through enough? Come on.

Luke, it is my reputation and my future at stake here.

I'm going. And I'll tell you what else, Luke. I'm driving.

So, come on.

Just like her mother.

Go with her.

Daisy Duke done what?

I said, she took the cash from the Boar's Nest.

The Dukes stealing? Guess nothing's sacred?

You don't worry, I'm gonna catch her and put in the slammer.

'Just never mind about them. I need you here, you hear?'

Because my sweet-talkin' Lulu didn't work no how.

Them fake bonds of mine are still in her safe.

What are we gonna do, Boss?

You tell Enos to go after Daisy Duke.

When he gets her, throw her in the pokey for grand larceny.

You get your tail back here to my office on the double.

I need help.

That's a big 10-4.

Alright, Enos, did you hear the boss?

Go get Daisy Duke and cuff her and stuff her.

We better stop off at home and pick up that tape recorder

just in case Boss says something we can use as evidence.

Okay. Luke, I sure am sorry to drag you into all this.

Don't be ridiculous, Daisy.

You know if you're involved, I'm involved. Come on.

Would y'all believe that them two thieves

still hadn't left Hazzard?

Like two foxes looking over a new chicken house

They was just getting started.

Did you see that, Flash?

That's that van with those, with those con artists.

You know, I been wondering

I understand Flash, but how does Flash understand Rosco?

It's the law. Do you think he's wise to us?

Just play it cool.

Stay here, velvet ears. We got another one. Alright.

Alright.

Now, I thought I told you con artists to get outta town.

We are not con artists, my good man.

We are practitioners of the occult.

Shame, shame. What kind of language is that?

Listen, my dog Flash is present.

Do what I tell you. Back it up and move it on down the road.

- Alright, alright. - I'll put you in the slammer.

Just move it on.

'Tea leaves. I'll read their tea leaves.'

If they're leaving, I'm a Mongolian aviator.

And I can't even fly a kite.

Yeah, well, I guess I told them.

Now lemme see here. They got a recorder to get

the goods on Boss, who didn't do it for once.

And them what did have been ordered out of town

by the police.

You know, it takes guts to live in Hazzard.

Good, Rosco's back.

Maybe he'll say something to Boss and get you off the hook.

'Good news, Boss.'

I got Enos out there and he's gonna catch Daisy Duke.

- Put her in the slammer. - Alright, that's good.

'Then he's gonna put Luke in the slammer'

'for aiding and abetting her escape.'

'Alright, well, that's even better.'

'Because, you know something. I-I mean'

I just couldn't believe that Daisy Duke would stoop

so low as to steal any cash.

'Oh, no, because she's not the type.'

That gave me a quiver in my liver.

I'm not surprised.

'You know, those Dukes really must be hard up for money.'

'Hard up? That's because of their farm.'

'They'll never make a living on it.'

Luke, they really think I did it.

Yeah, they didn't frame you. Well, that's a switch.

I don't know if it's good or bad.

Who could've done it? And how? Why?

We're gonna have to find them or else Boss and Rosco

are gonna railroad you on circumstantial evidence.

Don't say it. The Boar's Nest was locked up tight.

I just, I don't understand.

Well, let's go over there and give it a good going-over.

- Okay. - Daisy, Luke!

I hate to do this, but I gotta arrest y'all.

- Oh, oh. - Halt!

Thanks for the warning, Enos.

Don't run!

Hey!

You know, Uncle Jesse, I believe I just heard

I got an emergency call.

Ha ha. Yeah, I think you have.

'Hey! Let me down. Help!'

Cooter, slow it down.

Cooter, stop now! Let me down! Cooter!

Cooter, stop! Cooter, stop! Cooter!

Ha ha ha.

- I guess we owe Cooter one. - We sure do.

We better get to the Boar's Nest.

You got it.

Cooter, let me down please.

Cooter... please let me down.

Cooter.

Enos..

What you doing attached to my truck like this?

I didn't wanna be attached to your truck.

You know, there ain't no free rides in this world anymore?

I'm gonna send Boss Hogg a bill on this now.

I didn't hurt it, Cooter. I didn't mean to. Honest, I..

Thank you for letting me down, Cooter.

Rosco, I tell you. If I don't get them fake bonds

of mine out of Lulu's safe by this morning.

I'm ruined. She's gonna take me for everything I got.

- And maybe even more. - Yeah, maybe.

You know, I think I've got the answer.

It's those flimflamming fortune tellers.

You know they've probably put a hex on you.

Are you kidding? I don't believe in that sort of hokum.

I mean, Lulu, well, she may be a pushover for that

kind of stuff, but uh-uh, not me.

Oh, me neither.

Wait a minute.

- You just give me an idea! - I did?

My, oh, my, you sure are brilliant.

- I am? - Yeah, yeah.

Lulu's always falling for that sort of mystic mumbo jumbo.

So maybe, just maybe.

I can hire them two fortune tellers

to fast-talk the new combination of her safe right out of her.

Wait a minute. Do you smell something burning?

- Maybe it's your cigar. - No, that ain't it.

- Boss, listen. - What, what?

How they gonna do that?

'How? How? How? How? I'll tell you how.'

By reading her mind. Yeah, or her tea leaves.

Or her double chins.

Who cares? Listen, I'm desperate. I'll do anything.

Now, where'd you say them fortune tellers are?

Don't worry about them. I run 'em outta town.

'Listen, you just get out there, you hear?'

And you find 'em two con artists and drag them back here.

Tell 'em I got some honest money they can earn for a change.

What, What are you staring at?

Well, isn't that smoke coming outta your drawers?

My drawers? What? What? What are you talking about?

'No, no! What are you staring at?'

I told you to hurry, didn't I? Get going! Get going!

Bring me them fortune tellers!

Meanwhile, old Flash had been practicing starting the car.

They're gonna make a police dog out of that basset yet.

Alright. Hang on, Flash.

- What do we look for? - Well..

We look for some way that the crook, or crooks

as the case may be, could've got in without you

seeing them.

Okay.

I had the money on the table, I went to the phone

when I came back, it was gone.

Why don't you check the cash register.

- I'll look in the kitchen. - Alright.

Now, luckily for Rosco, them two was still in town.

Unluckily for them folks what had been fleeced

but lucky for the Dukes because they still had a chance

of catching them, with a bit of luck.

You'll be just fine.

Daisy, look at this.

Wide open.

Well.

Luke, only a little child could fit through that opening.

Or a little person.

Mean like that fortune teller's little flunky Three Pack?

Here, look at this.

- 'It's some red thread.' - He had a red vest.

He could've done it.

That's right, he must've done it.

He could have swiped the money and got out before you saw him.

- Oh, boy. I'm calling Rosco. - Daisy?

I'll still be in trouble, won't I? Unless we find him ourselves.

Let's hope they haven't left the county yet.

We'll CB Uncle Jesse and Cooter on the way.

That's right, Flash. You sniff and I'll look

and we'll catch those charlatans.

It's Smokey again.

That's them, Flash.

Oh, ho ho. I love it, hot pursuit.

Alright.

Now, sheriff, I must object to this unwarranted harassment.

You see, there you go with that naughty language again.

Now Boss Hogg has got a paying job for you two.

So you can just follow me, half-pint.

And so while Cooter and the Dukes

was hunting for them fortune tellers.

They was having a secret meeting with Boss Hogg.

'Let me get this straight, Mr. Hogg.'

You would like me to use my occult powers

to get your wife, Lulu, to reveal the combination

to her private safe?

Yeah, that's right. You got it.

You see, it's a friendly game that me

and my sugar plum pudding are playing.

"Sugar plum pudding"?

Oh, that's what I call my wife Lulu.

The fact is that she bet me I couldn't find out

the combination to her safe.

And I bet her I could.

I see. And if the cosmic forces are with me and I succeed?

Then I won't fine you for practicing your black arts

in my county without a license.

And I might just kick in an itty-bitty little donation

to your kitty.

And you can believe it's gonna be itty and bitty.

It's nothing personal.

Rosco, would you..

- You have a deal, Mr. Hogg. - I've got a deal!

While the Dukes was looking for the ones

that robbed old Boss.

Boss, not knowing, had just hired them

to do it again, It just wasn't his day.

And meantime, Jesse and Cooter had struck pay dirt.

A farmer had seen the fortune tellers

being stopped by Rosco.

Breaker One, Breaker One, I be crazy

but I ain't dumb, crazy Cooter coming at you

Lost Sheep, Bo Peep, y'all in Hazzard?

'Them fortune tellers are headed back to Hazzard.'

Then that's where we're headed, Cooter. Thanks.

'Oh, there they go. There's the van.'

'Rosco, wake up. Wake up, Rosco! Look.'

Look. Ha ha ha. They came.

Madame Delilah. Whatever brings you here?

I had to come back, my dear.

After you left, my vibrations about you suddenly changed.

I now have the premonition that you may be

in some kind of trouble.

Oh, my. Well, come in, please.

Oh, ho ho ho.

- Step one worked. - Yeah.

- Lulu let them in. - Oh, goody gumdrops.

There's the fortune tellers' van.

'Let's take a look.'

'There's that cash-grabbing, Daisy Duke.'

- 'Yeah.' - 'Oh, oh.'

- I'm gonna arrest her. - No, you ain't. No, you ain't.

Do nothing. Do nothing. Well, we can't do nothing

while them con artists are in there with Lulu

you dodo, sit still.

- It's only gonna take a second. - No, we can't.

I am the sheriff. I gotta do my duty.

I don't wanna create any kind of commotion.

Don't do it!

- Rosco, I'm asking you.. - Alright, Daisy Duke.

I saw you. Alright now, you're under arrest.

Rosco, we got something to tell ya.

We know who committed the robbery.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly, never mind that.

Come on. You're both under arrest.

- Rosco, listen to me. - No, I ain't gonna listen.

Let them be. Let them be.

Daisy, listen. Why don't you just get in the car?

- Now, listen. - No, sir. No, listening.

I am gonna arrest you.

Daisy, wait a minute, don't get in that car.

Daisy. Alright, come on out of there. Daisy.

Freeze!

Rosco, just let them be. Let them be.

I ain't going to. They've made me mad.

We gotta stay close to the house.

Bunch over there.

Come on, let them be, would you? No, no, no!

- Yeah, back up. That's it. - Hey, no, no, no!

But I don't understand, Madame Delilah.

You still haven't told me what kind of trouble I'm in.

I feel that you are hiding some deep, dark secret.

Secret? I don't know of any.

Well, let me see. If I can penetrate the unknown.

Here comes Enos at the worst possible time.

I've even forgot who he's after.

Alright, you Dukes. Alright, get out of there.

Okay, get your hands up. I mean, grab some blue.

Rosco, you gotta listen to us.

We tried to tell you, 'em fortune tellers took the money.

What are you talking about?

That little guy Three Pack with the fortune teller?

Well, he climbed through the air conditioning vent

and he stole the money, Rosco.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly, I don't believe that.

You're just lying to me again.

I'm gonna have to cuff you and stuff ya.

I have a feeling of numbers.

Some kind of combination of numbers.

The combination to a safe.

Well, I do have a safe, but..

The numbers that you are hiding are six right, 17 left

and 42 right.

Oh, Madame Delilah, you're wrong.

No, no. It is nine right, 36 left and 21 right.

I'm so sorry, you must accept my apology.

My mind is tired.

This has been an awfully long...

Oh, that's alright, honey.

You know, Mrs. Hogg, I just cannot concentrate in here.

If you will permit me, I shall continue this reading

outside in my van with my crystal ball.

- It's much better. - You think it is?

I can get a good reading, yes. Now, come right along.

Boss, you can arrest us, but you're making a big mistake.

Because the fortune tellers are getting away with your money.

'Alright, well, maybe they ain't lying.'

What's going on here, Rosco? What's all this doodah?

Enos, let me do it.

Rosco, don't handcuff them two, they're the wrong ones.

- You two stay out of this? - Daisy never stole nothing.

They're getting away! They're getting away, sheriff!

Can you keep up now?

- Wait! - Freeze!

Come on back, will you? Rosco!

- Watch out! - Will you quit?

Rosco, don't do it now! Leave them alone.

The crystalline will speak to us all

if you keep your eyes upon the ball.

Eyes upon the ball.

Madame Delilah, tell me something, please.

Alright, come back here, you thieves!

Come back!

Come back here! Rosco! Come back here, you hear me?

Oh, uh.

Oh, I am so relieved. I was wrong.

Your future looks bright and clear in the crystal.

- It does? - It does.

- And the crystal never lies. - Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, that's wonderful, madame. - Happy days.

- I am so glad to hear that. - Happy days ahead for you.

- I'm so glad to hear that. - Yes.

I am way behind schedule and I must be on my way.

I was worried when you came. Yes, oh, my.

- Come, Three Pack. - That's wonderful!

- Bye, now. Oh, I'm so happy. - Bye, honey. Thanks.

- Bye, now. - Bye. Bye.

- Hey! Hey, there they are! - Stop!

You alright?

Would you stop worrying about me and come on.

'I've been robbed! I've been robbed!'

Oh, J.D., they busted into my safe and they took everything.

- Who? - The $100,000 in bonds.

I'll tell you who.

It was them dang blasted fortunetellers, wasn't it?

Rosco, I told you we never should have left this house.

Listen, if you don't catch them, I'll-I'll..

Wait a minute. What am I screaming for?

I didn't plan it this way. But I'm rid of them fake bonds.

- Oh, the fake.. - Da-da-da-da-da.

But listen, Boss. There may be a flaw in the slaw yet.

If the Duke boys catch them and get them with those fake...

You're gonna be right back into the frying pan.

You mean, if the Dukes.. Oh, for once, you're right.

Come on, come on! We gotta go after them!

We gotta keep them Dukes from catching

them fortune tellers.

Watch out! Watch out!

- Where did they go? - This way.

- That van can really move. - I'll say. Come on, General.

It's Rosco.

- Pull over. Pull over. - Alright, Dukes, we got you.

- Now, pull it over. - Back off, Rosco.

We're trying to catch them thieves.

- Oh, no, you don't. - You're under arrest.

They're getting away. Rosco, stop them.

'Dagblast it!'

I'm gonna have to take a shortcut here.

- Shift down. - Alright.

- There they are. - Hang on.

'Don't stop, just go around them.'

'We're not gonna make it.'

I can't get it open.

- We gotta get them out. - That thing's gonna blow.

- Someone help us. - Help!

- Hurry. It's gonna blow up! - Hurry!

Come on. Push on it.

- Oh, thank you! - Save us!

- Get out of there, come on! - Get her out of here.

Crawl up behind that log. Come on, up the hill.

There you go.

- Come on. Get down, get down! - Okay, okay.

You both alright?

Yeah!

- Hey, hold on a second. - Alright, you little monster.

You tell me where that money is you've given me enough trouble.

It was in the van.

It's in the van. Everything's in the van.

Did you say everything was in the van?

Boss, that means your bag of cash was in there too.

Oh, my money? Who cares about that cash?

- What? - 'That's chicken feed.'

Great balls of fire, Rosco! You heard that, didn't you?

Yeah, everything in the van has been destroyed.

That means them bonds. Yeah, they're all burned up.

- Oh, them bonds! - Yeah, cinders and ash!

Good news!

And so thanks to the Dukes

them crooked fortune tellers was put behind bars.

Poor old Bo, he's been missing all this

having to make do with the dull life on the racing circuit.

There it is.

- Hello, the Boar's Nest. - "Hello, Boar's Nest" yourself.

How you doing? Nice to know you're still alive.

Alright. Not much going on.

I'm sitting here in the team owner's office, you know.

- How's Uncle Jesse and Daisy? - They're just fine.

They're right here. Hold on.

Bo, how you doin'? We miss you.

Boy, I miss y'all too.

I'm doing fine. Shoot, working day and night.

What're you doin', testing engines at night, Bo?

- Here's Uncle Jesse. - Hey, Bo..

How's that rooming house you're staying at?

The rooming house is good. The room's kinda small.

Feet hang off the side of the bed..

But that's okay, I'm not there that much.

Yeah, well, goodbye. Just a minute.

Hey, Bo, we all really miss you. You take care of yourself, okay?

And poor Boss had to replace everything Lulu had

in her safe, including the bonds.

She was so thrilled that she moved back into his bedroom.

He'd have been happier if she'd just cooked something.

And Daisy Duke's good name was cleared

not that it could ever be smirched.

And we ended up with one of them happy Hazzard endings.

Shoot, I didn't need no crystal ball to predict that.