Original subtitles

Hazzard's got a..

Pitchfork Picasso!

And everybody gets to the picture.

I'm afraid Bo and Luke are in a mess this time.

Wait a minute.

Freeze!

Come on, Bo, let's go to jail.

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you've ever saw been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Staightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

- Yee-hoo! - Yee-haw!

Now, Bo and Luke got special probation permission

from Boss Hogg, to cross the county line on family business.

Now, only a Duke could be

in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Even when they have permission.

Now, this is Artie Bender.

Hazzard's local starving artist.

Enjoying one of the few things he can afford. A sunny day.

Which was about to be interrupted.

Well, he's out colder than a frozen TV dinner.

I'll get the money, and you get the car.

Sure took a knock on the head down there.

What the heck is that?

- 'I don't know.' - 'Okay, I'll pull up.'

- Artie. - 'Been a hold up.'

I-I think that driver will be alright.

Let's see now. It was a light-colored sedan, four door.

They took off on down that way.

Oh, we'll take off after 'em. You better call emergency.

Right away.

- What's goin' on? - Robbery, sheriff.

There were two of 'em in a car, and they went down that way.

I already called an ambulance.

Now, you see, old Artie, never told

Sheriff Little of Chickasaw that Bo and Luke was already

chasin' them crooks.

So naturally, Sheriff Little figured that the crooks'll be

in the first car that he'd lay eyes on.

And that'll be the General Lee.

I think that orange car following us

just picked up some company.

Well, we can't go both ways.

That face behind us ain't exactly friendly.

Bo, you're getting cynical.

He's the law, he's gotta do his duty.

We'll go split up, and we'll catch 'em guys..

- You explain it to him. - Alright, I can do that.

First, you boys scram on out of that there car.

Sheriff Little, if we each go one way we're gonna trap..

Listen, wait a minute..

Bo and Luke tried to explain how they were chasin'

the crooks, and how they had a witness to prove it.

Well, Sheriff Little turned a deaf fist.

As far as he was concerned

the Dukes was tried and convicted of grand theft

horse stealin' and the sinking of the Titanic.

The first thing we do is ditch this car

and pick us up another one.

We'll only make ourselves hotter than we already are.

Whoever was in that orange car got a make

on this here heap we're drivin', so we better do somethin'.

We'll paint it.

Speaking of painting, Bo and Luke's one and only alibi

had returned to his studio, to find he had visitors.

Look here, Artie Bender, I come here to foreclose

on all your property, house and everything on account

of that money you owe me for them mortgage payments

the grocery supplies

not to mention all them paintin' materials you been buyin'.

- Yes, also a parkin' ticket. - Parkin' ticket?

- I don't even own a car. - Well, that's no excuse.

You were in front of a parkin' meter the other day

and were paintin' the court house

and you didn't put a red dime in there...

Let's not waste more words on him. Rosco, do your duty.

That's right. We just..

Please, don't sell my house.

I mean, it's all I got, except my paintings, you see.

I tell you what, I-I'll pay you the next picture I sell.

Well, that don't mean much on account you never did sell one.

Then, I'll tell you what, I'll give you two of the latest ones.

Now, they'll be worth lot of money someday.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly, don't listen to him, Boss.

'I'll tell you something, the only painting'

that I ever heard of, worth a plug nickel

the guy who painted it had kicked the bucket.

That's right. He kicked the bucket.

The crazy one who cut off his ear.

Or that French fella, who was a little itty-bitty dwarf?

Yeah, painted all them fancy dancers.

Well, I don't care which ones you're talk about

they was never famous, until they died.

- Right, and he ain't dead. - Yeah, but I will be. Someday.

I mean, everybody dies... sometime.

Well, we can't around for that. You might last for years.

Ain't that right, Boss?

- Unless.. - Huh, unless?

- We speed it up, a little. - That's what we'll do.

We'll just speed it..

Boss, you can't possibly mean..

'Oh, no, no, of course not. No, no, no.'

All I meant was that we have

Artie here, get officially deceased.

Officially deceased.

Yeah, in that way, his paintings could be worth somethin'.

- Are you feelin' sickly? - No.

Oh, well, then how are we gonna have him

officially deceased, when he's not even feelin' puny?

By just fillin' out a fewer forms, you know.

Like a death certificate

which I got plenty of at City Hall.

Yeah, not to mention, I own the funeral parlor and the cemetery.

And with Artie hid out, where nobody can see him..

Coo! You've done it again, you little man!

Get away from there!

You're slicker than a skinned onion.

Artie, what do you think of this idea?

Boss made Artie an offer that he couldn't refuse.

Not only would Boss wipe out all of Artie's debts

but Artie would become famous before his time.

And get 25 percent to boot, after expenses, of course.

This was a pretty good deal for Artie.

But it was a real bad one for Bo and Luke.

If we were the crooks, how come we stopped and waited for you?

If we's the crooks, where's the money? How about that?

You tossed it out the window, figurin' you'd pick it up later.

That oughta be worth about 20 years.

I know how to prove we're innocent.

We're due one phone call, ain't we?

Okay, you got one call.

I don't want no judge tossing this case out

on no legal technicalities.

Hello, operator. Get me Artie Bender over in Hazzard.

We'll have this thing cleared up in a minute.

Artie's phone's been cut off. He didn't pay his bill.

- Come on. Let's get this down. - Boss, did you like it..

Yeah, you'll get something, don't worry about a thing.

Ooh, why, this the best idea yet!

Ooh, I tell you, this is marvelous!

- Careful. They're masterpieces. - They're masterpieces.

Then we call Uncle Jesse, have him bring Artie over here.

Oh, no, shoot. Uncle Jesse is out ploughin' the back 40.

And if I am not mistaken, Daisy went to Capital City, shoppin'.

- Shoot! - He he he.

Listen, operator, I need to talk to Cooter Davenport

over at, over at Davenport's Garage in Hazzard.

Gussy, what you doin' on the phone?

What are you takin' Cooter's calls for?

He's out on a tow job, huh?

Get a hold of him and have him tell Uncle Jesse to bring

Artie Bender here to Chickasaw County Jail right away.

Me and Bo are up on charges of grand theft armored truck.

You got that?

Alright thanks a lot.

Now, it's my turn.

Jezebel, get me Rosco P. Coltrane

in Hazzard County.

Meanwhile, Boss had hid ol' Artie up

so he could declare him dead.

Which he couldn't do if ol' Artie was just sittin' around.

Even Hazzard folks would see something wrong with that.

Yeah, you heard me right. I want an obituary for Artie Bender.

Yeah, splashed all over the front page.

Yeah, and lots of his paintings, too.

And over it all, a big banner headline sayin'

"Hazzard County and all of U.S.A.

mourn loss of great artist."

Yeah, that's it.

Why? What do you mean why?

Because I own your paper, that's why.

- Ooh, good news, Boss! - Oh.

Look at that. Isn't that a doozy?

You know somethin'? It's got every kind of flower in there.

There's forget-me-nots, chrysanthe-num-nums and there...

How did that pansy get in there?

It's got every flower Artie wanted on his grave

if he'd really kicked off.

It sure is beautiful.

I want you to make sure to remind me to deduct the cost

of these beautiful flowers and all them other funeral expenses

from the deceased's share of the profits.

Oh, yeah, well..

Oh, I'll get it.

Sheriff Coltrane's office, Commissioner J.D. Hogg speaking.

Say, hello from Rosco.

- Say it yourself. It's for you. - Who is it?

It's Sheriff Little from Chickasaw.

Ooh, good grief!

- Uh, Sheriff Rosco P... - 'Coltrane.'

I wanted you to know I did what you ain't never been able to do.

I busted them Dukes.

'Grand theft armored truck.'

Alright, Little, you've gone too far, this time.

I want those boys back in my county, and I mean right now.

'They're out of your jurisdiction.'

You know, Sheriff Little arrested Bo and Luke

and he's got 'em in the slammer there in Chickasaw.

Oh-ho-ho, he did?

Glory be! I don't care what jail they're in

so long as they're behind bars.

I don't know what they're gabbin' about.

Listen, Rosco, this is Luke.

We're innocent. We need Artie Bender as an eye witness.

- Artie, Ar-Artie Bender? - 'Artie Bender?'

What, what about Artie Bender?

Luke wants Artie to come there and testify for him

to get him out of the slammer.

Oh, give me that phone.

Listen, here, Luke Duke, this is J.D. Hogg.

Artie Bender can't do nothin' for nobody on account of

he just died.

- What? - 'Yeah, real sudden like.'

And his funeral's gonna be any minute now.

I sure am sorry, you ain't gonna be able to make it.

Ooh. Bye.

I didn't know you were havin' the funeral that soon.

- I don't know if I can make.. - Oh, really?

Our eye witness just closed his eyes for the last time.

- What do you mean? - Artie Bender's dead.

How far's Atlanta from here?

What's our hurry?

'Ain't nobody lookin' for a blue, four door sedan.'

Besides, there's a little berg called Hazzard

a few miles form here.

Might have a bank we could hit.

We already got more than 50 grand in the trunk.

Can I help it if I'm greedy?

Greed ain't somethin' that that fella's got monopoly on.

'Cause, when it comes to greed

Boss Hogg's the cock of the walk.

With Artie Bender's empty casket not in the ground, yet

Boss was already promotin' them paintings

to a big art dealer from Atlanta.

It's Artie Bender I'm talkin' about.

Yep, yep. The Grandpa Moses of Hazzard County.

Yeah, yeah. The Rembrandt in overalls.

The Pitchfork Picasso!

Now, Boss wouldn't give up sellin' that dealer on how

he might lose out on a real genius and a pot full of money.

Yeah, if I was you, I'd hurry and see 'em 'cause they're

comin' from New York and I don't know where..

Them gonna pick 'em up real cheap

and gonna resell 'em to folks.

I mean they're gonna get a pot full for 'em. That's right.

- Oh, you will come? Alright. - Coo! Coo!

- Good news! - He's gonna be here tomorrow.

We sure gotta do a lot before the next 24 hours.

- Let's go. - Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Boss' plans were really shapin' up.

Just when Cooter got a hold of Jesse and told him

about the fix Bo and Luke were in.

The message from Luke is this.

We need to get Artie Bender over there because

Artie could clear 'em of the charges.

If that's all they need, I'll go and get Artie Bender

and get on over there.

I hate to tell you, but Artie Bender

passed away right after this happenin'.

He's dead and gone, and they're buryin' him tomorrow mornin'.

Artie Bender? I didn't even know he was ailin'.

I'd like to pay my respects, but I guess we better get on

over to Chickasaw and post bail.

Ain't no point of that Uncle Jesse.

I already called over there. There ain't no bail.

Seeing as Bo and Luke are on probation.

And their only eye witness, havin' crossed over

and I am afraid that Bo and Luke are in a mess this time.

- How's it soundin'? - Do you really wanna know?

It's the "Camptown Ladies".

You gotta be kiddin' me.

It ain't no time to be foolin' around.

I sure wish Artie would've told Sheriff Little that

we is the chasers, and not the chasees.

Well, he didn't. So we best forget about that.

Hey, Luke, bail. Now, what the heck we gonna do about bail?

- We gotta get outta here so.. - Oh, you gotta be crazy.

Remember where we are? We're, we're in Sheriff Little's jail.

If he had his way, we'd be underneath the thing.

We'll get outta here when hell freezes over.

I bet that fella got a look at who the crooks are.

You give me a worse headache than your harmonica.

The only thing he saw was stars. We're gonna get out of this mess

when we break out and find the real crooks.

I hate to pour salt on the wound, Luke, but..

I bet 'em fellows is out of the state by now.

Can you think anythin' better? It's our only way out of this.

Bo.

Let me say, move over..

Michelangelo, Rembrandt

and all you other famous artists.

We're now sendin' up to you

Hazzard County's own beloved and here to fall, unsung

unknown genius to take his rightful place

among all you great famous artists

in their great painter's studio in the sky.

Amen.

Alright, boys.

It's time we all go see the judge.

Come on, Bo!

'Stop right there.'

Oh-h! Ugh!

Come back here.

Cousin, we're about to lose this one to Sheriff Little.

Friends and neighbors, you're lookin' at oneof the big

reasons foreigners don't really understand us.

'Sure shook him.'

Well, we gotta get rid of him somehow.

Look, there's a bend up ahead.

Once we get outta sight, how about we play that same routine

we did on Rosco that time over at Rocky Ridge?

Alright, you got it.

For sure, he ain't gonna like what he finds.

'Freeze! I said freeze, darn it!'

'You guys come back here.'

Uhh!

This is, uh.. Now, listen in this is Sheriff Little.

This is Sheriff Little. I..

Uhh!

'Lost Sheep to shepherd.'

'you'll got your ears on? Come back.'

This is Shepherd. Come back.

Now, Bo and Luke got Daisy, Jesse and Cooter.

Told them to rendezvous at Artie Bender's old studio.

Meanwhile, 'em crooks drove to Hazzard, to case a local bank

while Boss and Rosco was busy settin' up Boss's latest scam.

'That's right, c'mon in here.'

C'mon, c'mon. Come in here so we can talk.

Now listen, that fancy-pants art dealer from Atlanta's

due here in less than half hour. Yeah, look at this.

So here, I want you to do what you said

you was gonna do when I asked you.

You take some of this money for you

and I want you... soon as that Art Dealer comes in

start buyin' paintings.

- You hear me? - Yes, Boss.

- That's right. - Can I have some?

You can have this.

'Cause I want you to buy all of them beautiful paintings

and then, uh, when you are through buyin'

Sheriff Coltrane will be waitin' out there to take

them paintings back from you, just as you go out.

And, uh, don't forget now, you spend all the money.

Don't keep 'em for yourself, 'cause that's real.

I'm telling you that. Come on, we gotta go out.

And don't forget, you're gonna be buyin' the most beautiful

the most precious, the greatest masterpieces you've ever seen.

- Is that straight, Sheriff? - Well, let's see.

Oh!

Enos. I can't hold the ladder and get back

and look and see if it's straight, too.

Rosco!

Enos!

Oh, Sheriff, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..

While Enos was helpin' redecorate

them crooks was thinkin' of hittin' Boss' bank.

That is until they saw the Chickasaw Sheriff.

Here comes trouble.

Them the boys that robbed that armored truck yesterday?

It's what the poster says.

You boys find 'em, you turn 'em in

y'all got yourself $500 reward.

Yeah, yes, sir. We sure will keep our eyes open

for 'em poor boys.

Well, would you believe that!

They got those boys figured for the job we pulled.

- You know what we gonna do? - What?

We're gonna find 'em boys, turn 'em in

and the case will be closed.

Well..

Well, what?

What? We're wanted for armed robbery.

We ain't got a, we ain't got a witness

we don't know who did it or why they did it

we don't know where they are.

Tell me something I don't already know.

Look, I've been sittin' here thinkin' and thinkin' about it.

I can't come up with a dang thing. Ain't you got any ideas?

- Of course I got ideas. - What are they?

Well, when I get 'em all sorted out, I'll let you know.

When you get 'em all sorted out.

You got it sorted out what the heck we're gonna do?

What's gonna happen if we've to take this rap?

Well, you know that shirt you got with the alligator on it?

- Yeah. - It's got numbers on the back.

'Artie sure picked a nice place to put his cabin, didn't he?'

'Sure is quiet up here.'

I've been here 30, 40 years

and this is the first time I can remember

there ain't no smoke coming out the chimney.

- Hey. - Hey, y'all.

Any news on what happened to Artie?

Why he passed on so quick?

First we heard, they had Artie over J.D. Hogg's funeral parlor

and the next thing we knew, they had him at J.D. Hogg's cemetery.

You know, the thing that gets me is that

Old Artie loved art as much as he loved breakfast.

He didn't get to live to see J.D. Hogg down there

sellin' his paintings like they was gold.

Did you get to look at what the real crooks looked like?

No, we never got close enough. All we seen was the rear end

of a light-colored sedan with a busted right taillight.

That ain't a lot to go on. Particularly when, uh

your only eyewitness is pushin' up daisies.

You know, there's one thing about this that bothers me.

Y'all noticed how much Artie's death's worked to Boss' benefit?

On one hand, all of a sudden Artie's paintings are worth

a whole lot of money.

And Boss has got us in hot water which is right where

he wants us, all because we haven't a witness.

Get on the CB and find out if anybody's seen that sedan.

What're you gonna do?

Gonna head over to Doc Appleby's, see what led

to the demise of Artie Bender.

This is Jesse Duke callin' the pipeline.

This is Jesse Duke callin' the pipeline.

I've got a description..

Back in Hazzard, Rosco was headin'

for the back of the courthouse, when he spotted his very own

personal enemy number one, Sheriff "Big Ed" Little.

Little, don't pretend you don't hear me.

You're violating here. Listen, you know something?

I have half a mind to write you a ticket.

Coltrane, you ain't even got a quarter of a mind, no less half.

Now, buzz off!

If anybody's gonna catch those Duke boys, it's gonna be me.

- Coltrane. - What?

You couldn't catch a cold

if you was naked as a jaybird in the snow.

Now, why don't you just hang around a while

and watch a real sheriff do his job.

Wait. Listen, here. This..

Well, I'll have your badge. Come back!

Oh, this is humiliating!

I was hoping you could, uh, fill us in a little bit.

There's nothin' I can do.

But, believe me, Bo and Luke, Artie Bender's death came

as much of a shock to me as it did to you.

- He wasn't ailin' or nothin'? - He wasn't ailin' one bit.

I gave him a thorough check up the mornin' I went fishin'.

Then, come back the next night, find out he's deader

than the fish I brought in.

Then you weren't the one that signed the death certificate.

No. And I have no idea who did.

- I think we better find out. - I think so.

Thanks a lot, doc.

We figure anything out, we'll give you a call.

Alright.

- Adios. - Drive carefully.

Now the Dukes have to keep lookin' for answers while being

on the run as fugitives from Sheriff Rosco and Little.

The death certificate's gotta be on file at the county office.

- Love to look at it. - I would, too.

I just don't see how it's gonna help us.

How's it gonna prove that we didn't rob that truck?

He was our only eye witness. And somethin' ain't right

about the way he passed on.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep. Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

'Have you got ears on out there?'

Yeah, that's a big 10-4. We got you. Come on back.

We're, uh, comin' in empty-handed.

We didn't eyeball no light-colored sedans anywhere

'and nobody else has seen it.'

Uncle Jesse, ask them what the doctor said.

Uh, Daisy wants to know what you found out at the doctor's.

Doc said that last time he saw him, he was fine.

'He said he didn't sign no death certificate, neither.'

'Luke's got an idea.'

Would y'all go to Boss' art show and keep him

in the front room while we're lookin' at the county records?

Uh, alright. You do your thing, and we'll do ours.

'This is Shepherd, out.'

Now, this fancy dude with bad eyes

and who's coat and pants isn't coordinated, is an art dealer.

Yep, that's just exactly what they look like.

Well, well, well, what do you think?

There's no question this artist has talent.

Yes.

Color, technique, excellent composition.

Yeah. Yeah.

And above all, imagination.

That, too.

In a primitive sort of way, of course.

Yeah, well, he was very primitive. No question of that.

- I saw it first! - Heck, you did!

- I did! I did! - I saw it first!

Wait a minute! Hold everything here!

I just gotta have this here Bender waterfall.

The brush strokes, the colors, it's brilliant!

Yeah, sure is. It must be a great masterpiece.

- But don't fight over it... - Uh, listen, Boss.

I'll give you double of what you're askin' for this painting.

- 'Double, yeah.' - 'That and 100 more.'

'A hundred more? My goodness!'

Why, that'll come to, oh, I don't know, 500 at least.

You know what, it'll probably be worth triple that by tomorrow.

That Art dealer from Atlanta was gettin' more impressed

with Boss' shills fightin' over one of them

authentic Bender paintings.

Just like how Boss figured. But what he didn't figure

was that the Dukes were smellin' somethin'.

And it wasn't just fresh paint.

So, while everybody was lookin' at them pictures

Bo and Luke sneaked into Boss' office.

Like I said on the phone, now that Artie Bender

is dead and gone, all these pictures are bound

to become collectors' items.

I don't believe this, Uncle Jesse.

Yeah, me neither.

When you remember Artie Bender couldn't have traded

one of his paintings for a set of retreads for his car

if he'd had a car.

Yeah. And Boss is down here movin' 'em like they're the..

Greatest things since sliced bread.

You know the Hatchapee and Capitol City museums

have been all over me to get all I could deliver... at top dollar.

I need another cigar. I'm goin' to my office. Excuse me.

I gotta get me a cigar.

J.D., uh, Artie Bender would be so proud

of what you're doin' for him here today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd figured a man who deserves every chance he gets

to get what's comin' to him even if he ain't around.

'I gotta get a cigar.'

Boss, how about giving me this tour, huh?

You know, I used to finger-paint back in second grade.

Maybe you could sell some of my stuff.

See me when you get to the third grade. I gotta get a cigar!

There you go. Be my guest.

Yeah, but, but..

- You need a light? - Yeah, give him a light.

- I got a match. Yeah. - You do?

- Let us do it for you. - No, no, no.

There you go. There you go.

Birth and death certificates.

Anderson, Andrews. Arthur Bender.

Arthur Bender.

- Died of natural causes. - Uh-huh.

Uh, it was signed by Dr. Campbell... on Paxton Road.

You know who he is?

I don't know who he is, but that's his address. Let's go.

- Mr. Hogg? - Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm convinced. Stop the sale.

I'll take every piece of work by Bender that I can buy.

'You will? Ha ha ha.'

You got yourself a deal!

Everybody, everybody, uh, your attention please.

Now, don't be mad.

But I'm gonna have to cancel all of them sales we just made.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, on account of this gentlemen here

just offered to buy each and every paintin'

we got in the place in one loop.

That's not fair!

It's just too bad that this is all that's left

of such a promising genius.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.

But don't you worry. Don't you worry.

If it's more paintings you want

uh, I can get you plenty more of these paintings.

'But the man's deceased.'

Oh, yeah, he's dead. Dead as the doornail.

But before he died, he must have left some paintings around

you know, gave some away or maybe even sold a few locally.

So, I'll go around, and pick up as many as I can.

At a price.

Whatever the cost, my clients can well afford

to pay it for an authentic Bender.

Bo and Luke C.B.'d Jesse and Daisy

to tell them that they were checking out on Doc Campbell.

But other ears were listening, too.

Ol' Artie was up on Hazzard Pond

paintin' his li'I ol' heart out.

Makin' himself sob, and Boss rich.

And Bo and Luke was callin' in

to tell Jesse and Daisy and Cooter

what they found out at the Paxton Road address.

There's something strange going on here.

Dr. Campbell's supposed to have signed the death certificate.

But we checked out the address where the office was to be.

Turned out to be an empty lot owned by Boss.

Listen, I know J.D.. I'd knowed him for a long time.

'Andtrue, he'd do about anything for a dishonest dollar'

but he wouldn't do nobody in.

Specially Artie.

Yea, well, they're tied together somehow.

Well, whatever it is, this is not helping them.

We gotta find the crooks!

You're right about that.

Uh, Daisy says we gotta find them crooks

and I think she's right.

That'll be nice. But how do we

when we don't know what they look like or where they went?

'We'll meet at Hopkins' barn and figure this out.'

We'll be there in 15. We're gone.

- Well... - You ain't goin' anywhere.

We're makin' a citizen's arrest.

Well, now, we got two crooks makin' a citizen's arrest

on the two most honest men in Hazzard.

What are now fugitives.

We saw you on that wanted poster

and we're gonna collect the reward.

What poster are you talkin' about?

Show 'em..

Let's get out of here.

They're gettin' away!

Must have brought in his own posse.

Them fellas in from Hazzard.

It ain't where they're from that's important

it's where they are. Which is behind us.

See if you can get the police channel on that CB.

Maybe we can get that sheriff to help us.

Sure feels funny. Callin' the cops.

Yeah, that's right, and I want an all-state ABP

out on them Dukes.

- Hey, hey! - Hey, wait a minute, Little!

- Yeah. - You know this is my office.

I've made this my command post until I catch them Dukes.

- What? - 'Callin' Chickasaw sheriff.'

- 'Callin' Chickasaw sheriff.' - Hey, listen. This is my radio.

And that's my name he's a-callin'.

Sheriff Little here.

We're chasing them Dukes right now, sheriff.

'We may need some help.'

- Where are you at? - 'Paxton Road, heading west.'

I'm on my way.

Wait a minute, Little!

This is, this is my job! My jurisdiction!

Should be my 500! I'm gonna knock him in the...

- Ah, ah, ah! - What?

Your job is gettin' up to where Artie Bender is hid

get bring me back some more of his paintings.

So step on the gas, and get me some oils.

You know, one day I'm gonna..

I mean, I'm gonna.. I mean... I-I'm gonna..

You're gonna what?

I don't know. This is not my day.

Now, Sheriff Little was on his way

having called for all the local reinforcements.

Which turned out to be Enos.

Now, Enos didn't believe for a minute

that Bo and Luke was mixed up in that robbery.

But sworn to uphold the law, he had to do his duty.

Shoot, they're coming from all directions.

Any bright ideas?

I think we oughta arrange a meeting of the minds.

Alright.

- They look alright. - Yeah, alive and kickin'.

- Well, that's good. - That ain't even done yet!

Well, doesn't make any difference.

Listen, these things are going faster than a scalded cat.

And Boss can use just as many as you can crank out.

Some of 'em are a little damp, yet.

Well, don't worry about it.

Say, uh, by the way, er, you ever catch 'em crooks

that robbed that armored truck?

No, but I expect arrest within, oh... 24 hours.

I was sure Bo and Luke would have gotten 'em by now.

Well, I may as well start another one.

I didn't get them pink flowers in last time anyway.

Things are gettin' weirder and weirder.

'Cooter comin' at you Uncle Shepherd, Lost Sheep'

'giddy y'all home into Hazzard, there, anybody home. Come on.'

You got Lost Sheep. Where you at?

Well, had to make a detour to clean up the mess

y'all made over there at the crossroads.

I picked up that blue sedan that was chasin' y'all.

Got a little dent in it, and guess what?

Bet she's a light color underneath, right?

You done and guessed it.

Hang on a second.

This is all startin' to make sense.

Yeah. Yeah, supposin' you just robbed an armored truck

and you heard some big sheriff was after two fellas

and thought they did it, what'd you do?

- Try and pin it on them. - Yeah, well, them is us.

Cooter, we'll be at the garage in a few minutes.

'See you then.'

Well, I am down and gone, y'all.

See you at the station, you hear?

There was lots of dust on the road between us and them

but sure looks like the same color to me.

Well, the right taillight's out.

They can claim that happened when they racked up.

They can claim that, but they racked up on the left side.

The left taillight's still workin'.

Which means the right was busted before the accident.

Even if this is the car and they are the crooks

doesn't prove they did it, and you didn't.

We could always give ourselves up.

And he calls me crazy.

Now, wait a minute, the money ain't in the car

so they've stashed it some place

until they figured it was safe for 'em to go get it.

If we give ourselves up and make that well known..

- They'd go get it. - And we could follow 'em.

- Exactly. - Where are they are now?

Down there in Rachel's cafe, drinkin' coffee

and waitin' on me to finish up the car.

Well, when they show up, you know what to do.

Come on, Bo, let's go to jail.

'Good news. Hey, Boss.'

Look at these. These are doozies.

And they're fresh off the easel.

- Oh! Let me see that. - Yeah, look at that.

- Why, that's Hazzard Pond. - Yeah, you guessed it. Ooh.

- I'll know it anywhere. - Yeah.

- That's beautiful! - Yeah.

And I tell you, these two paintings

they oughta bring a pretty penny.

Oh, a pretty..

- Hey, Boss. - Ah!

We got some news. Me and Bo are turnin' ourselves in.

- Are you kiddin'? - Nope.

'Well, alright.'

Don't stand there, cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

Oh, here, hold this.

'Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!'

Rosco, look what you've done to my clothes

with these new paintings.

- Yeah, it's a mess. - New paintings?

- No, I didn't say new. - He didn't say new.

- I said... two. - Two.

If you said two, then how come

this paintin' of Hazzard Pond is still wet?

'Cause Artie Bender just painted it, that's why.

Think we're gonna change our mind..

It didn't look like anything

was gonna stand in Bo and Luke's way now.

Better believe they don't have these problems when they want

to get paintings for the Louvre.

That's art gallery, for all you folks

who ain't got no culture.

Alright, ya'll haul back right on up into this holdin' cell

you just came out of.

Get off of me! Get off of me!

- Listen, Artie is alive. - We know where he is, too.

Well, that's good.

Y'all follow them crooks just like we planned.

Stay on the emergency channel. We'll talk later.

Don't look at me. I'm as confused as you.

'Hurry! Hurry! Come on.'

'Come on. Come on.'

We gotta catch 'em before they find find Artie

or else we're gonna blow a fortune.

Well, listen, Boss, listen. Don't worry, little fat buddy.

I mean there's no way they can tell where we hid Bender.

Even if Artie's alive, he can be anywhere.

You saw that painting Boss smeared all over his front side.

- Yeah. - Hazzard Pond.

Come on! Come on, will you?

We're all set, gents.

She is ready to roll.

How much do we owe you?

Oh, just about... $20.

- Appreciate it. - Okay.

Maybe with this we can get Bo and Luke outta the slammer.

Oh, I think it's gonna take more than that

to get 'em out of jail.

When them dudes what like to make citizens arrest

showed up for their car, Jesse, Daisy and Cooter

shucked 'em pretty good into believin' that Bo and Luke

was already in the sheriff's custody.

Which wouldn't work in a lot of places.

Headin' west for Chickasaw.

Just like Luke said, headed right for the money.

Oh, uh, Cooter, you stay here

keep your ears on, in case we need you.

10-4.

Things was just comin' to an end.

Jesse and Daisy tailin' 'em crooks.

And Bo and Luke was headin' for the Hazzard pond.

Where old Artie had just felt an inspiration

to do his next painting in the ceiling of the barn.

'Gainin' on us.'

Can't let 'em do that, can we? Hang on.

'Ah!'

Dang blast it! What're you stoppin' here for?

Oh, well, to tell you the truth, Boss

with your extra weight in the vehicle

I don't think I can make it.

Coltrane, they's my prisoners.

Now, which way did they go?

Listen, y'all got ten seconds to tell me which way they went

or I'll tell you which way you're going.

- You mean.. - Uh. Uh, uh..

Lost Sheep, are you out there?

'This is Bo Peep callin' in. Come on.'

Yeah, that's a big 10-4. We're on our way to Hazzard Pond.

Got a good idea that's where Artie is.

Them fellas make a move yet?

Sure did. Just like you said, Luke.

Well, now, don't move in on 'em yet.

Sit tight, wait till Luke and I get there.

- We can back you up. - You bet. We're gone.

Let's just go follow 'em. Let's go.

There's Hazzard Pond, dead ahead.

'There's Artie Bender, alive and kickin"

and doin' what he does best.

'Hey, Artie.'

- Hey, hey, hey. - Hey!

- How are you? - Boy, are we glad to see you!

Well, from here it looks like things

are workin' out real fine.

But over here, I wish I could say the same.

'It's over here.'

Take this.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

'Hold it!'

'Lost Sheep to Shepherd, you got your ears on?'

'Come back.'

'Lost Sheep to Shepherd and Bo Beep.'

'Ya'll hear me out there?'

You lied to us, Pops.

They said them two was in the slammer.

And waltzed us right into a trap.

- Figurin' we'd get the dough. - Which you did.

Listen, if y'all can hear me, we found Artie

and he can identify them crooks.

'Repeat, Artie can identify them crooks. He's alive.'

Now, we're smack back on it.

Lost Sheep to Bo Beep or Shepherd.

You out there? Can you hear me?

They must not be able to read us.

Could mean they had to leave the CB to tail 'em crooks.

Yeah.

Or the crooks seen them first.

Dukes got a sixth sense when one of 'em's in trouble.

And ol' Luke was cookin' on all six burners.

Trouble was, them sheriff cars

was burning up the roads as well.

Hang on.

- 'Okay.' - Never mind about me.

Get somebody on the CB. Get the boys.

Luke, Bo, listen, the crooks just took off with the loot.

'Heading east on ol' Post Road.'

That's a 10-4. Read you loud and clear.

We should have taken them two with us as hostages.

You got any idea what a kidnap rap is

compared to armed robbery?

- What? - Life!

You know, if they had a band

they'd have a pretty fair parade.

Sheriff Little didn't even duck

when he got shot at. He just got mad.

Plumb forgot about the Dukes.

Talk about a firecracker lit at both ends.

- 'Dang it, Luke.' - 'Hang on.'

The Dukes figured they'd help Sheriff Little out

by getting in front and cutting off them crooks.

Besides, that was a lot better than being in the middle

of a shootout.

Just wait a minute.

- See that? - We got 'em.

- We got 'em. - That's a naughty, naughty..

Well, I'd say that did the trick.

Thanks to the Dukes and Artie as an eyewitness

Sheriff Little had the real crooks in custody.

They're the ones that did it.

Boss couldn't wait to make old Artie take back his paintings.

He demanded Artie to pay what he owed him.

The Dukes offered Artie the reward money they'd collected

but Artie didn't need it.

You see, that art dealer wanted everything Artie could paint

dead or alive.

So, Artie not only could pay old Boss off

but he was set for life himself.

Please accept that. You're a great man, sir.

Boss got the $112 old Artie owed him

and that was all he got.

As for the Dukes

well, they got something that money couldn't buy.

An original family portrait painted by that great artist..

Artie Bender, of Hazzard County.