Original subtitles

Tonight on "The Dukes."

Boss Hogg's Bears take on the Chickasaw Chiefs.

Same bet as last year, Hogg? 5000 big ones?

Big bucks for Boss means big trouble for the Dukes.

If I see you out there on that court Friday..

'...you and your mama might not have a roof over your heads.'

Forfeit the game?

Bo, I got it.

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straight'nin' the curves ♪

♪ Flatnin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em but the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw!'

If you're a Duke in Hazzard County..

The littlest things can sometimes throw a kink

in your plough land.

You see, the Duke boys went fishing at Cowlick Creek.

There was a frog-choking flash flood.

The creek rose, and the road washed out.

And the Dukes was late for their meeting

with their probation officer, Boss Hogg..

..who's about as sympathetic as a hanging.

We're in big trouble, no doubt about it.

Boss probably gonna have us picking weeds off

the county roads for a month.

Take away our voting rights.

You know, he can take away our driver's license.

Much worse, he could take away the General Lee.

- You kiddin'? - I ain't kiddin'.

- We got to talk to him. - We've as much chance talkin'..

As getting him away from the dinner table.

We got ourselves a problem.

And Boss was already in a bad mood.

'Cause he had an awful case of the Weltschmerz.

Which is fancy talk, for being up to your udders in problems.

- 'Rosco, tell me something.' - 'You little rascal.'

Am I or am I not sponsoring a peewee basketball team..

The Boar's Nest Bears, for the benefit of all young'uns

of Hazzard County, unselfishly out of my own pocket?

Pu wup-wup-wup-wup we-we..

We said just a little naughty there at the end.

'Cause you know and I know the reason you're doing that is

you can gouge the parents at the bank and the Boar's Nest

coffin works when they pass...

Well, that's just business.

You can gouge all you want if have good public relations.

- Like a basketball team. - Oh.

And that is why I deserve more than to have

than to have that ingrate coach tell me I was meddling

too much with him and up quit on me.

- He did? - Yeah, he did.

He shoved this basketball at me and told me to stuff it.

Oh, he didn't.

- Oh, a basketball? - Mm.

The match game with Chickasaw County is less than a week away

and I ain't got a coach.

Oh, and that means only one thing.

You're gonna lose 5000 big ones to A.C. Tate Jr.

Just like you did every year to his late daddy.

And headin' toward Hazzard, is none other than A.C. Tate Jr.

Good thing he takes after his mama.

His pa was fat and ugly.

Our boys gonna be ready this year?

Ready? We ain't been beat for years with less talent

than with this team, boss.

Now, that's good. Real good.

Tell you what we'll do, Ruel.

We'll take a peek at ol' Hogg's 12-year-olds..

See what he's got up there, and then we'll drive over..

See him for our annual $5000 bet.

Yeah. Ha-ha.

- Come over here to your barber. - What-what?

Come and sit down in there 'cause I got a surprise for you.

- I got it fixed special. - You do?

Yes. Sit down.

- You think this will help? - Yes, of course it is.

You see, I went down and I appropriated one of those..

Flying Fingers of Fun from Petrie's No-Tell Motel.

Oh, I see.

- It's gonna relax you. - Yeah.

'There you go'.

Isn't that good?

- Back to the drawing board. - 'Ah!'

- Ah! Ah! - Ooh, ooh, oh, little buddy.

Rosco, next time there's an election for village idiot..

I'll manage your campaign.

Oh.

While Rosco was scraping Boss off the wall..

Jesse and Daisy, was payin' a visit

to the recently widowed, Lou Ann Moffet.

- How are you, Lou Ann? - 'Just fine.'

- Hey. - Hey, there.

- Lou Ann. - Good to see you.

- How are you doin, girl? - Just fine.

Uh, uh, Daisy brought you something'.

- Oh-h-h-h. - Well..

It's one of her famous peach pies.

- Uncle Jesse, it's not famous. - Well, it is at our house.

Oh, thank y'all, that's real nice.

We thought we'd come on by, see if we could help with anything.

I noticed the storm took out some of your fence down yonder.

I'll bring the boys. They'll fix it for you.

Thanks, it's hard for Rod and me to keep the place up ourselves.

Good shot, Rod. How are you?

Hi, Mr. Duke. Hi, Daisy.

Hi, Rod.

Lord, how that boy has grown.

Here he is at the age where he really could use a daddy.

It hasn't been easy on either one of you.

He'll come around.

Maybe, Bo and Luke could..

Do a little fixin' there too.

Well, we best get on home.

It's a long way through Chickasaw, bridge being out.

- We'll be back before you know. - Bye. Thanks for the pie.

- Bye, you take care, huh? - Okay.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

'Maybe if we explain why we're late, he'll give us a break.'

Naturally, Boss needed a new basketball coach.

And the man that he picked knew a lot more brain surgery

than basketball.

Rosco P. Coltrane.

Alright, now listen up there.

Now, you gentleman here see this spherical thing.

This is called a ball.

Now, it bounces.

Rosco, we know what the ball does.

Well, you see there, you're learning already. Good.

Yee-haw!

Well, Bo and Luke, finally arrived

for the probation meeting with Boss.

Freeze it right here. Alright, you Dukes, alright.

I'm gonna arrest those varmints, Boss.

No, no, no, hold on, hold on. You get back to the team.

Try to do some good. I'll handle 'em Dukes.

Alright.

Now, wait just a second, Boss.

Before you go say anything hasty..

Listen to our side of the story, okay?

We got trapped by the Hatchapee. Never seen a river rise so fast.

We couldn't have made it here on time.

Alright, so you missed your meeting.

And now, you got yourselves a hearin'..

In front of Judge Dugan tomorrow mornin', 9 a.m. sharp.

And remember to bring your driver's license's..

And your registration slip.

Because we'll be impounding the General Lee.

- We didn't do it on purpose. - No.

I don't care why you done it, the fact is you did done it.

Now get! I got other problems to attend to.

Stop that! Stop everything!

Don't do that to him. Give me the ball.

You're fired. I'm gonna take over.

See, Mr. Tate. Our boys'll cut him up and hang him out to dry.

I feel so good about this bet, Ruel, I'm gonna cut you in.

It's gonna be the easiest money you ever made.

You know, Mr. Tate, I almost feel sorry for him.

Come on, fellas, cheer up.

I tell you, things could be a lot worse.

- Sure don't see how. - I'll tell you how.

We went and saw Lou Ann Moffet today.

- How's she takin' things? - 'She's better..'

but she needs a lot of help around that place.

Well, after the hearing tomorrow we'll take a run on up there.

- If we still got the General. - Yeah.

How's little Rod doin', anyway?

He sure misses that daddy of his.

Well, maybe a visit from a couple of big brothers

would do him some good.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Listen, you'd be surprised how that boy has grown.

But, you know, he just stays out there by that barn..

Shooting baskets all day.

Maybe, somebody oughta talk him into playing for the Bears.

They need the talent. You see that kid?

Bo! That's a great idea.

Rod being on the team, making friends, that's what he needs.

It might be just what we need too.

Boss'd do anything for County bragging rights, wouldn't he?

Yeah, and the Bears ain't won the peewee league in years.

Oh, I haven't lost my jump shot. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

I think, I am. Why don't we just give Boss Hogg a talking..

First thing tomorrow morning.

'Alright. Ha-ha.'

Next morning, the Dukes showed Boss a plan

that would help him, help the Bears..

And help themselves.

It's time to practice. And I'm your coach now.

- Good grief. - Yeah.

Mr. Hogg, we need us a real coach.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Real?

- You say, you need real? - Yeah.

Well, watch this.

My famous, Hogg hook.

You lose something, Boss?

I think we can do something with it.

'Alright'.

Time to get a shot out here. Come on.

Wait a minute..

Pass it around. Come on. Pass it around.

- Come on, get going. - Come on, let's go. Let's go.

- Listen, Boss... - Rosco!

Rosco, I said can't you do something?

Listen, let's just sit down here and watch a little bit.

Look... oh... ooh.

Alright, junior. Come on, here you go. Keep it going.

- Get a little chatter goin'. - There you go.

- Oh, you know something? - What?

- I may be saved. - Who?

- I may be saved here. Ha-ha. - Oh, you may be.

Hey, hey, Duke Boys! Listen, I got your point.

Alright, hold the ball. Hold the ball.

'Alright... you can do the coaching.

It... What?

We'd sure like to help coaching, Boss, for the kid's sake..

But, shoot, we're due in court in ten minutes.

Yes, so you are. Well, I tell you what.

I'll just wave your appearance at that court hearing..

For the time being.

Ah, well, how about you just dropped the charges?

- Well, this can't... - 'Please, Mr. Hogg.'

Can't the Dukes coach?

I said they were going to coach, didn't I?

Listen Boss, you let us off the hook

and we'll come up with a secret weapon.

Oh, good, goody, gumdrops. I love secret weapons.

Yeah, secret weapon, huh? What kinda secret weapon?

Yeah, what kinda secret weapon?

You remember Rod Moffet?

Sure, I remember Shorty Muffet.

It's Moffet, Rosco. Besides, he ain't short no more.

- He's almost six feet tall. - Yeah, well, so what?

He's deadly with the basketball, that's so what.

- He is? - He is.

- Alright, you've got a deal. - Oh, yeah.

Alright.

Only there's one little itty bitty condition.

- Yeah, just itty and a bitty. - Ain't there always?

- You gotta win! - Yeah.

Or else... you hear?

You're gonna be back in court, and off the roads

of Hazzard County, forever.

At least.

Alright, it looks like we're back to practice. Now, come on!

Well, it seems the boys are ain't out of the woods yet..

..'cause A.C. Tate and Boss was negotiating..

And no good ever comes out of that.

Well, same bet as last year, Hogg? 5000 big ones?

Yeah, well, seeing it's you now and not your daddy..

I was contemplating on, uh, doubling that amount.

You must be drinking that swill you serve.

Oh, don't tell me I'm gonna have to let Chickasaw County know

that A.C. Tate Jr. can't move in J.D. Hogg's financial circle.

Yeah, shame, shame. Everybody knows your name.

Now, what kinda cheap trick you planning, Hogg?

Oh, I'll tell you, what kinda cheap trick he's planned.

Right this moment, those Duke boys are on their way outta here

and they got that secret weapon.

I'm talking about a big tall muppet.

Oh-ho!

- The Moffet boy. - 'Don't mind him.'

His brain has turned to molasses.

No, no, no, I figure that, well, that with the law of averages

and the home court advantage this year that, uh..

It's just about time for me to win.

- Yeah. - Deal?

Law of averages, huh? I figure, they're on my side.

It's a deal!

10,000 big ones!

That's a deal.

Well, ol' A.C. Jr. Wasn't no fool.

If Boss had a secret weapon, he aimed to get it for himself.

And stop the Duke boys to boot.

And he knew that with the Hazzard bridge out..

The only way to Moffet farm was through Chickasaw.

So, he got on the horn to Sheriff Little.

Y'all know how Sheriff Little feels about the Duke boys.

I want you to arrest him and haul 'em in.

Thank you, Mr. Tate. You just made my day.

They're violating their parole and they're mine.

Uh-oh.

Oh, shoot. It's Sheriff Little.

Friends, one thing you don't wanna be is a Duke..

Facing Big Ed Little.

He hates the boys so bad, he drew up plans for a new jail..

With Bo and Luke as the foundation.

Dang me!

- He's better than I remember. - You got that right.

This calls for the old squeeze play. Hang on, cousin.

'I hate it when you do this.'

'Yee-aa-haw!'

Huh?

Now, if that had been Big Ed's head, he wouldn't even stop.

Why, he wouldn't have even slowed down.

Shoot, that ain't nothing.

You should've seen him when Rachel burned the bridge.

Ah, they're livin in the motel till he puts the house back.

Now, the boys figured they'd have a problem..

Convincing Rod to join the team..

But then they ain't dealt with many mamas.

Appreciate what you're trying to do for Rod..

But the Boar's Nest Bears. That's J.D. Hogg's team, right?

In a manner of speakin', Lou Ann, we're the coaches.

Yeah, and Boss Hogg, he only sponsors the team anyway.

I don't know, I think Rod's dad would turn over in his grave

if he knew his boy had anything to do with J.D. Hogg.

'But it is Rod's decision.'

What do you say, Rod? You want to play basketball or don't you?

I just don't know, Bo.

Don't feel much like being around other kids right now.

Well, shoot, Rod. You wouldn't be just around kids..

You'd be around Luke and me.

Uncle Jesse and Daisy would be there.

Yeah, what do you say?

I don't think I can just yet.

I guess we can understand that.

You got to do what you got to do.

Oh, would you look at there who's coming?

Well, at the worst possible time..

Guess, who showed.

- More good news. - Mm-hmm.

Mornin', Miss Moffet. Mighty fine day, ain't it?

Ma'am.

I see you boys made it up here, alright.

No thanks to your sheriff.

Well, let me get right to the point, Miss Moffet.

Reason we come up here was to talk to the boy about playing

a little basketball with the Chickasaw Chiefs.

'I got me a nice financial inducement for you too.'

My boy ain't for sale, Mr. Tate.

Now, now, now, wait a minute, honey.

You don't refuse A.C. Tate. We are talking cash money here.

You heard the lady, Ruel. She ain't interested.

There ain't nothing you can do for us, Mr. Tate..

But to get off our property.

Well, it's a shame you feel that way. It's a crying shame.

Seein' as you and the boy are here all alone..

And the only road here is through my county.

Wait just a minute. Is that some kind of threat?

No, I don't need to threaten women.

If you should change your mind, you be sure and let me know.

A.C. Tate and J.D. are two rattlesnakes of the same nest.

You got that right.

Tell you what, we'll come next week and fix 'em fences for you.

Maybe, we can play a little one-on-one.

- We'll see y'all later. Bye. - Bye now.

- Ready to run? - Yeah.

To keep Boss from meddling the team to a total disaster..

It was decided to hold the training camp at Duke farm.

- Bye, Mr. Duke. - 'Bye.'

Better catch up there, Charlie!

While Daisy lead the Bears on a little cross country run..

Bo and Luke returned with the bad news about Rod Moffet.

- Uncle Jesse. - Dang it.

- Uncle Jesse, we ain't got Rod. - No, he turned us down.

I don't know how we're gonna get them kids ready by Friday.

At least to win.

I'll tell you how you get 'em ready.

You gonna make a team out of 'em... just like I did..

You and Bo and Enos and Cooter.

Enos was as coordinated as a rock, when we started.

Yes, I remember, when we first started playin', we were..

- Well, I was pretty bad. - We were both pretty bad, Bo.

Oh, no.

'What's he doing here'?

There they are.

We got them kids here, so they wouldn't be around Boss.

J.D., why don't you turn that thing and get out of here?

We ain't got time to fool.

Well, who's fooling, Jesse? Not me. No, sirree, Bob.

Listen, I brought y'all a nice extra large

new uniform for our secret weapon.

Yeah, and speaking of secret weapons

where is that giant muffet?

Moffet.

Truth is, he ain't gonna be playing for the Bears.

What do you mean he ain't gonna be playin'?

What are you Duke's trying to pull here, now?

J.D., the boys are doing their job.

Now, why don't you do yours and just get off my property.

'Listen, we made a deal'

and we're gonna stick to it. Them boys are do fine Friday.

Fine, fine, don't butter my bread.

You better get that secret weapon back, you hear me?

- Or else.. - Yes.

Listen, I got your probation papers with me.

'Yeah, just let me read 'em to you..'

Alright, I'm gonna read from the probation papers here.

Section A, "If the terms of this probation ain't met..

The aforementioned probationers.."

- That's you Dukes. - That's you.

"will be locked up for minimum 60 days in county jail."

At least.

- Jail? - 'Mm-hmm.'

And if you don't get back that secret weapon..

..and if you don't win that game on Friday..

That's where you're going.

Yeah.

Now, this sheriff, here.

Alright, give 'em now. Take that. Find your secret weapon.

When Boss holds all the cards, it don't just rain, it pours.

Listen then, going to jail is serious.

Should've let me drive in the first place.

Well, we better get our practice studs on..

And be ready when the Bears get back.

- Come on. - Yeah.

Them boys have got themselves between a rock and a hard place.

Jesse Duke, you better get up and do some recruiting.

Go see that widow lady.

Just wish it weren't Boss Hogg's team.

But Lou Ann, Bo and Luke are not coaching the team to help J.D.

They're coaching it to help them kids.

Why don't you see if you can talk Rod into it?

It's really up to him.

Yes, it is, isn't it?

Pretty good. You know, if you put a little more wrist

in that shot, it'll sure soften it up.

Try it.

That's the way. Heh-heh. You're good.

Who taught you?

- My daddy. - Well, he sure taught you good.

Well, I don't think he taught you to play here by yourself..

I think he taught you to play on a team.

I don't want to, Mr. Duke.

Not just now anyways.

Still hurts, don't it?

Yes, sir. All the time.

I know how you feel.

Felt the same way when my daddy passed.

'I didn't wanna leave the house, just mope around all the time.'

But I had a wife then, Lavinia.

And she made me see that..

Life is for the living.

And you just gotta gather it up and get on with it.

- Mama says that too. - Your mama's right.

You know, God gives you talent..

And the way you use it is how you pay him back.

Now, you got a lot of talent..

And it sure is a shame that..

You gotta waste it, when it could be helping so many people.

- You mean the Bears? - I mean the Bears.

And, uh, you might be helping yourself.

What do you say?

Okay, Mr. Duke.

- I'll give 'em a try. - That's all anybody can ask.

Hey, let's see if your mama's got any of that pie left.

- Heh heh heh. - Alright.

'Lou Ann, you got any of that pie left?

Sure do.

So, Bo and Luke got their star player..

And the Boar's Nest Bears training camp

was officially open.

'Yeah. Alright.'

Things was looking good 'cause Rod was looking good.

And not just to the Dukes.

Now, ol' Boss had promised to stay away..

But he couldn't resist not taking a peek.

Secret weapon is back. They got him back.

- He can sure play basketball. - Oh, goody!

We're gonna win, Rosco. We're gonna win.

- We're gonna... - Quit moving, will you?

And Boss wasn't the only one taking a peek.

- 'Yeah.' - 'That's the way to hit.'

That Moffet kid ain't half bad. We still gonna take him?

Yeah, I think so.

What do you mean, you think so, Ruel?

I do the thinkin', you do the coachin'.

That night while the Bears bedded down in the Duke barn..

The only things prowling around were the possums..

Polecats and A.C. Tate Jr.

Rod. Rod Moffet.

- Who's that? - It's me, A.C. Tate.

Come over here, boy. I wanna talk to you.

Where's your mama?

You know my coach here, Ruel McBride, don't you?

Hello, Mr. McBride.

What do you wanna talk to me about, Mr. Tate?

To tell you the truth, Rod, I'm here to apologize to you.

It was wrong to offer your mama that money.

You know, Rod, a man of my position..

Could be mighty helpful for you and your mama.

What do you mean?

You're the man of the house now. You got to protect your mama.

It'd just be a crying shame if y'all lose your farm house..

'...over a dumb kid's game.'

What are you talking about?

We was kinda hoping you'd change your mind

about playing for the Bears.

But I like playing for the Bears.

Especially for the Dukes.

Can I please go back to bed now?

I'm gonna tell you something, boy, and listen to me real good.

If I see you out there on that court Friday..

You and your mama might not have a roof over your heads.

'Do I make myself clear?'

Good. That's real good.

Now, you go on there, get yourself in bed..

And think on it.

It sure is a shame what a mess some adults

can make out of a kid's game.

'Alright, rise and shine.'

Come on, you guys, out of bed.

Come on, come on. Come on, get up.

Daisy's got breakfast, then we got ourselves a lotta practice.

- That's for sure. - Come on, get up.

- Where's Rod? - Huh? I don't know.

Don't look like he slept in his bed all night.

Listen, go in the house, and have Daisy call Lou Ann.

Alright.

Listen, you guys, get your shoes and socks on.

We're gonna go lookin' for Rod, alright?

Bo and Luke figured they best check the road

to the Moffet Farm first.

Which meant Chickasaw County and..

Doggone it, Sheriff Little again.

Co-operate now or I'll make you stop.

Sorry, sheriff, we ain't got the time to be social with you.

- What are you doing? - Open country.

- Hang on. - Alright.

It's a good thing he promised Rachel to control his temper.

While Jesse, Daisy and the kids was scouring the countryside..

Luke had a pretty good hunch where Rod might be.

- Mornin'. - Hi.

What you been up to?

- Thinking. - Oh, yeah?

Didn't wanna head home to mama?

No, can't run home to mama every time I have a problem.

I remember a time when Luke and I stopped running home to..

Uncle Jesse with ours too.

Speaking of problems, did you solve yours yet?

No.

Mr. Tate and Mr. McBride came by last night.

What'd they want?

They said they'd take the farm if I played for the Bears.

Of all the dirty low down..

Listen, Rod, he can't do that to you.

'He's just trying to scare you.'

- You sure? - It's just talk, Rod.

That farm is bought and paid for. Your dad made sure of that.

He can't do nothing to you and your mom

as long as we're around.

We promise you that.

What say, we get back to practice?

You got it.

- Alright, nice shot. - Alright, come on.

- Alright. - Shoot it.

Take it on up there, Tommy.

Alright, let's go. Get back to our play.

- There you go! Real nice. - Come on, Tommy.

They're lookin' awfully good.

A team. We got ourselves a team.

Well, it didn't take too long in a small place like Hazzard

for A.C. Jr. to get wind that Rod was back with the Bears.

And not wanting to be outdone..

He had a backup plan that he knew wouldn't fail.

This time we'll make sure that Moffet kid stays off the team.

Dukes or no Dukes.

Yeah.

Shucks!

Good morning, Mr. Tate.

Enos. How are you?

Just fine, Mr. Tate.

We don't see you around these parts too often.

How are you? Boy, you're sticking to duty.

I like that in a deputy. Like it.

Mr. Tate..

You know, I need me a good deputy over at Chickasaw.

- Yes, sir, but.. - Sure do.

I really appreciate that, sir, but..

I've been here a long time.

'You know, Sheriff Little ain't got one.'

Now, friends and neighbors, I don't know what he's doing

but it can't be no cause for celebration.

It was Hazzard's turn to host the big game.

Which meant that Boss had the monopoly

on the concession business.

Come on, folks. Step right up. Get them while they last.

There are only two tickets left

for the Jefferson Davis Hogg Memorial Bench.

- Right next to me and Flash. - Or there's standing room only.

No, no, no. Not you. Don't sit down.

You're supposed to be working, ain't you? You and Enos.

- Oh, well.. - Go get them, start selling.

Enos, listen, I want you to push the tutti-frutti, you know?

Just not popcorn and that soft drinks. You push tutti-frutti.

- Go, "Get your tutti-frutti." - Yes, sir.

Get your tutti-frutti.

- Alright. - Oh, thanks.

Uncle Jesse was chosen the official score keeper

timer and referee.

Because everyone knew he was the most honest man

in six counties.

And there they come. The Boar's Nest Bears.

All slickered up just like in New York.

Here come the Chickasaw Chiefs.

Now, I don't wanna put a dampener on this

but Chickasaw gets more basketball scholarships

than any other county in the state.

They start young.

Alright, let's go, team.

Now, fellas, they, they ain't so good.

Come on, you guys. It's just a lot of fancy running around.

Come on. Let's go, come on.

- Let's go, start her up. - Come on, let's do this.

Alright, alright. Captains and the coaches

to the centre of the court, please.

Alright. Now, I want a fair game.

You all know the rules. So play fair.

Now, shake hands and come out play.

Hold it. Hold on everything here.

- I'm lodging a protest. - A protest?

How can you lodge a protest? We ain't even started the game yet.

You won't even gonna start the game until I see some proof

of that Moffet boy's age.

- I heard he ain't 12. - Yes, I am.

Ask my mama.

Mama ain't good enough, boy. I need written proof.

And if you can't provide it, well, you forfeit the game.

What are you saying? Forfeit the game?

Over my dead body.

Why the heck should we forfeit the game?

He's saying Rob's lying about his age.

- What? - 'Written proof, Hogg.'

'I need written proof.'

- We all know that Rod's 12. - Yeah, of course, we do.

'Yeah, we all know that he's 12, but the rule is a rule.'

'If he wants written proof, we gotta give written proof.'

Written proof!

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, there's going to be

a slight delay in the game.

But hang in there, we'll be back shortly.

Let's get over to that court house and get him written proof.

- Alright. - Why not?

What's wrong?

Have you seen Lou Ann Moffet anywhere?

Uh, no. I haven't.

Find her and bring her to the courthouse.

- I'll fill you in later. - Alright.

Well, according to this, Rod Moffet is 13 years old.

Oh, no. 13, it can't be. Let me see this thing.

What is the date on this? Alright, 1970.

Forfeit the game, Hogg.

'Never.'

Listen, this smells to me like somebody's been tampering

with these here official records.

And I'll bet my boots, I know exactly who it was.

- Namely, A.C. Tate, Jr. - 'Yeah. Shame, shame.'

Oh, why would he want to do a thing like that?

It's just a kids' basketball game.

No. Why, why, why?

Well, it maybe a kids' basketball game

but it was a man sized bet that little muffin here

he bet $10,000 and he... Would you please?

You mean you bet money on a game these kids worked so hard for?

What?

So what if I made a teenie-eenie little bit?

Yeah, little teenie.

'Yeah. I mean, it don't change nothing'

'on account if I lose, you Dukes do too.'

Well, documents don't lie.

And that Moffet kid is one kid who ain't gonna play.

- But, but.. - J.D..

Until I get different proof

I'm afraid the boy is disqualified.

Listen here, A.C.

You can just wipe that smile right off your face.

On account of that birth certificate's

got your finger prints all over it.

- Oh, knock it off. - Dagblast it.

Listen here. Rod Moffet's never 13.

I don't care how tall he is.

Now, he doesn't have one whisker.

You Duke boys better find a way to prove how old he is

and get him right back in the game.

Speaking of games, I gotta get this one on the road.

I'm duty bound. Now, come on.

- Shoot. - No, no.

I got an idea how to prove he's 12

but, geez, we need some more time.

Time? Oh, that's all you need. Well, we can arrange that.

Oh, you kidding? Of course, we can.

- How we gonna do it? - Huh? Oh, come on.

Hey, what happened in there?

- A lot. - Yeah?

Listen. Lou Ann, you don't happen to have a copy

of Rod's original birth certificate, do you?

Why?

Well, the records in the Hazzard courthouse say he's 13.

He's 12. I oughta know. I'm his mom.

- Where was he born? - Capitol City Hospital.

I bet they have the right records there.

I bet they do. Listen. Here's the plan.

'We're gonna start the game without Rod.'

And you take Daisy and head over to Capitol City, alright?

We'll get the papers, bring it back before the game's over.

- You do that. - Alright.

Well, it is a long way to the hospital.

And with the game about to start

things don't look promising for the Dukes.

And look what's up ahead.

- Alright, hang on, Daisy. - Uh-oh.

We ain't got time to play cat and mouse now.

Somehow, there's more at stake here than a basketball game.

Like a young fellow's future. And the Dukes know it.

Huh?

Is he okay?

He doesn't look too happy, Bo. But I think it's okay.

Ahh!

I'll just bet he don't give up.

Meanwhile, back at the outdoor arena

a certain amount of confusion had set in.

But it ain't fair. I am 12.

- I know you're 12. - We gotta do something.

I mean, without Rod, we don't have a chance.

Now, that ain't necessarily so.

Ya'll should be proud about the way

you've come together this week.

You're gonna surprise me, you may surprise yourselves.

The Bears was mighty upset.

And Boss was determined to stall the start of that game

as long as he could.

Would you look at this, Rosco?

Yeah, it appears to me, this ball has too much air in it.

Oh, definitely. That sucker's too fat.

Let's see here. I just...

Oh, oh. Oh. Look at that.

You two, quit fooling with the game ball.

This is so squishy now, Boss, like you.

- Oh, yeah, it is. - Quit stalling.

Ruel, get another ball.

I demand you start this game, Jesse.

Yeah, but not with no ball from Chicksaw County.

I demand that we use an official basketball.

That's right.

You dang fools let the air out of it.

Start the game, Jesse.

Uh, J.D., he's right. We gotta start the game.

Lou, start the game with whatever ball you can find.

'You get on in there and get what we need, and..'

'...we get out of here before Sheriff Little spots us.'

Now hurry up, Daisy.

'Shoot.'

While Bo was trying to avoid Sheriff Little on the streets

of Capitol City, Jesse was starting the game.

And if Daisy don't hurry with them records

Bo might as well let Sheriff Little catch him

'cause the Bears will lose and the Duke boys

will be going to jail anyhow.

Shoot, don't you ever give up?

Nothing was going right

and the Boar's Nest Bears was trailing 19 to 9.

No, no. Don't let him.

Uh, uh, make that 21 to 9.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Bo and Sheriff Little

was wearing a groove in the pavement.

Bo. Bo. I got it!

Come on. Let's get out of here.

'Well, we got the proof now.'

'But it's not gonna do any good unless we get it to the game.'

Uncle Jesse, you've gotta give me every second

of this half-time. Bo oughta be back any minute.

I'll give you what I can, but I can't break any rules.

That's all you can do.

Back at the game, Daisy still hadn't showed up.

And the game was half over.

Now, we're holding our own.

Guys, that isn't too bad a first half

but we gotta keep pressing them, alright?

Yeah, you can do it. Don't stop shoots.

Yeah, okay. We'll try.

Alright. Let's warm up for the second half. Come on.

Number 11, number 11. That's a foul.

Eleven. Two shots, two shots.

Hang in there. You stay with him.

Bo and Daisy should be back by now. Where are they?

Don't worry Lou Ann. They'll be here.

Yeah!

Now, he's gotta try it again. I can't look. I can't look.

Hey, Boss. You want one of your hot dogs?

- It's all filler and no meat. - No, I can't eat.

Yes, I can.

Yeah!

Daisy, he's got too much weight to go over this.

'Oh! Oh God.'

'You know, he ought to be real grateful to us.'

'We done got the county to buy him a new patrol car.'

Good thing he ain't eating at a drive in.

There ain't nowhere to hang a tray.

Hmm.

Time out, time out.

Time, time.

Here it is, here it is. We got the proof.

Let me see, let me see.

Give me that, give me that, J.D.

The boy is 12. He plays.

That don't matter, it don't matter.

Even with that kid, you ain't gonna win.

- You wanna bet? - Oh, Boss, you already bet.

Now, just leave it be.

Alright, let's play. Come on.

Good on you, good on you!

Now, that's more like it.

With the grown-up's out of the way, and Rod in the game

the Bears started to close the gap.

Foul him now.

Stomp his feet in the ground!

That tears it!

Time out, ref, time out.

Get down here, boys. Come on.

I told you boys to play physical

but that Moffet boy is still standing.

'Time to stay cool now. We got..'

'Fifteen seconds.'

'We got 15 seconds left in the game.'

If them Chiefs score, bring it down on the fast break

and hit Rod underneath. You got it?

Yeah.

One, two, three, cheers!

He nearly tricked you too.

Right here, right here. You okay?

Alright. Right here.

Red ball, red ball going down. Red ball.

Here you go. Get it in.

Nail him! Nail that boy!

'Five seconds.'

Five seconds.

Come on, come on.

Da-da-da. Hey, there. Wait a minute, A.C.

Alright. Don't forget that little bet of ours.

Now cough it up. 10,000 semolians.

- 10,000 big ones. - Come on, come on.

That's all mine too. That's the idea.

Uh, excuse me, Boss. Now, hold on a minute.

Seems to me like you might wanna donate that money

to the Children's Sport center.

Donate? Oh, you've been standing in the sun too long.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've got an announcement to make.

Now, listen..

'J.D. Hogg, our noble county commissioner has just donated'

'$10,000 towards the building of our new sports arena.'

He already made that announcement.

Now, I gotta do it to keep good public relations.

Thank you, Boss.

I'm proud of you, you little rascal.

'No, I don't care.'

Well, everything turned out just fine now, didn't it?

The Bears won the game, and the Dukes kept the General

and stayed out of jail.

Boss didn't lose his bet, didn't win it either.

And everybody celebrated with free hot dogs and soda pop..

Courtesy of Boss.