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1
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,577
* Whoa! *
* Attention *
2
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,145
* Yeah! *
3
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,813
* I need attention *
4
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,080
* Give me that *
* Give me that *
5
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,015
* Okay *
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,550
* Give me your attention *
7
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:22,155
[audience cheering
and applauding]
8
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,322
-When's the last time
9
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,493
you stepped outside
of your comfort zone?
10
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:26,893
I'm addicted to it.
11
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,095
Because that's where
the magic happens.
12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:32,499
Or at the very least,
you get a great fucking story.
13
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,201
Like one time,
I baked pot brownies.
14
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:38,304
Yes, baking is very much
outside of my comfort zone.
15
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,374
And I brought them to a trip
my senior year of high school.
16
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:44,878
And the brownies were so good
that the teachers found out.
17
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,480
And then I was banned from prom.
18
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,983
For the plot.
19
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,750
More recently,
I went to a restaurant
20
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,253
and Taylor Swift was there.
21
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,022
And while I would
never go up to a celebrity,
22
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,324
I did go to
the Eras Tour three times,
23
00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,892
so I felt like
it was appropriate
24
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,194
to give her my card game.
25
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,431
I went up to her,
handed it over, and she said-
26
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,581
[gasps]
27
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,715
"No, thank you."
28
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,668
[crowd exclaiming]
29
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,737
For the plot, right?
30
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,074
And now here I am tonight,
standing in front of all of you,
31
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,941
stepping so far outside
my comfort zone
32
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,578
that a GPS
couldn't even find me.
33
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,678
For the plot.
34
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:22,349
Because at the end of the day,
the best stories,
35
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,451
the ones worth telling,
36
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:27,587
only happen when you're
willing to risk it all
37
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,687
for the plot.
38
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,290
[audience applauding]
39
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,659
[upbeat music playing]
40
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:37,731
[***]
41
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:53,813
[crows cawing]
42
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:01,221
-So, is this the plan?
Spell out S.O.S.
43
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,422
-and hope for the best?
-Do you have any better ideas?
44
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,525
-I don't know,
maybe wait for AAA?
45
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,727
-AAA isn't going to
get here on time.
46
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:10,230
[birds chirping]
47
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,198
-[sighs]
-[phone chimes]
48
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,037
Oh, my God.
-What's wrong?
49
00:02:17,038 --> 00:02:18,537
-Jasmine said that
she's bringing
50
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,206
the Peacock execs to the show.
51
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,713
-Deep breaths, Serenita.
52
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:32,719
[exhales] Deep breaths.
53
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,794
[wind whooshing]
54
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,800
-For the plot.
55
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,643
Nothing gets me hornier
than true crime.
56
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,112
It all started one night
when I went out
57
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,479
with my best friends
in New York City,
58
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,414
and I was wearing
only a little black dress
59
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:04,017
and no underwear on.
60
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,150
Good visual?
61
00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,287
-[audience cheering]
-I thought so.
62
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,288
This club is like
the witness protection program
63
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,190
for people who like to
shake their ass
64
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,558
and ignore that guy from Hinge
65
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:13,926
that's still wearing
the navy sheets
66
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,395
his mom bought for him.
67
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,664
It's designed to
make you blackout
68
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,034
or eye-fuck
one of the Winklevoss twins.
69
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,502
True story.
70
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,170
But on this particular night,
71
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,840
I met a sexy short king
with a British accent.
72
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,744
And let me just say,
he was my cup of tea.
73
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,894
We grinded and then
exchanged numbers,
74
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,482
and then I shimmied my way
into the darkness,
75
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:38,418
which really means I just walked
two feet to the left.
76
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,054
And then I made eye contact
with another guy.
77
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,557
I know.
I was on a roll that night,
78
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:47,494
except I couldn't quite
make out his face.
79
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:51,197
But those hands,
I knew those hands.
80
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,499
They'd fingered me
this summer in the Hamptons
81
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,735
in exchange for a ride home.
82
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,705
George Bush senior
doesn't take the Jitney.
83
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:02,042
I waved at this man,
and he didn't wave back.
84
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,776
I actually want to go
a step further
85
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:07,414
and say that he was
disgusted by my presence.
86
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,116
As I was about to
go and confront him,
87
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,417
something horrible happened.
88
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,853
[gasps]
The overhead lights turned on.
89
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,455
[audience exclaiming]
90
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,892
As I blinked
in sudden brightness,
91
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,628
I spotted that sexy short king
from earlier.
92
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,897
[audience members chuckling]
93
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:27,300
He kept staring at me
like he was Edward Cullen
94
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,450
and I was Bella,
95
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,403
but not annoying.
96
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,872
[audience laughing]
97
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,207
He kept coming closer
98
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,108
and there was
a dark look in his eyes.
99
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,345
It was scary and sexy
100
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,580
and I wasn't sure
if he was gonna kill me
101
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,183
or sweep me off my feet,
but fuck it,
102
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,385
I was willing to
take my chances.
103
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:49,856
He came in closer,
his lips barely grazing my ear,
104
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,458
and he said,
105
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,059
[imitates British accent]
"Looks like the red wave
106
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,428
happened after all."
107
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,931
[audience laughing]
108
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,035
I leaned back.
109
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:05,038
I'm sorry, are you a Republican?
110
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,473
[audience laughing]
111
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:10,443
Then he glanced down,
as did I.
112
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,545
[gasps] It wasn't a wave.
113
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,983
It was a full-on tsunami,
a natural fucking disaster.
114
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:20,787
An episode of Law and Order
splashed across my thighs.
115
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,922
[audience laughing]
116
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,625
As I fled the scene,
117
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,460
it all came back to me.
118
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,862
The disgusted looks,
119
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,798
the ground feeling
a little more wet than usual,
120
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:32,948
when that guy said,
121
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,468
"Yo, it kind of smells like
iron in here."
122
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:38,238
[audience exclaiming]
123
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,173
Did I know
that I was on my period?
124
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,775
Absolutely not.
125
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,575
But God's timing
is always right,
126
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,045
so who am I to question it?
127
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:47,814
And that's what I get
128
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,314
for stepping outside
my comfort zone
129
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,184
and not wearing underwear.
130
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,084
[cheering]
131
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,388
[***]
132
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,160
[drill whirring]
133
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,003
[vehicle rumbling]
134
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,358
-Sere, what are you doing?
135
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,710
-I'm driving to my show,
SFK style.
136
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,415
[insects chirping]
137
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,954
So what happened to the short
king?
138
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,123
Nothing... yet.
139
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,626
But I did get a great story,
10 million views on TikTok,
140
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,464
and if I decide to thaw
one of my frozen eggs for him,
141
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,400
our nursery will be
sponsored by Tampax.
142
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,002
[audience laughing]
143
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,737
Why did I tell that story?
144
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:49,309
Oh, because
nothing fucking matters.
145
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,344
Because everything
fucking matters.
146
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:54,781
Every cringe-worthy moment,
every heartbreak, every victory.
147
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:57,616
These are all plot points
that are pushing you further
148
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,720
to become the main character
you were born to be.
149
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:05,558
You are the writer, producer,
director, and star of your life.
150
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,028
So do it...
151
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,030
for the motherfucking plot.
152
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,032
[audience cheering]
153
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:28,982
-I love you, babe,
but that was crazy.
154
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,518
-Crazy? Or iconic?
155
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,187
[sighs]
156
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,995
-Hola,Sere!
157
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,531
-Mami!What're you doing here?
158
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,067
-I put AirTags
in both of your suitcases.
159
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,217
-That feels illegal.
160
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,831
-Well, I heard you need
a celebrity for your show,
161
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,673
and I just came to remind you
that you already have one.
162
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,544
-I do? Who?
163
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,712
-You, mi amor.
164
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,815
Get in. If you miss
hair and makeup,
165
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,783
you might as well
skip the show.
166
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,051
-Go!
167
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,753
-What? No.
168
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:09,083
-Yes. We didn't come this far
to come this far.
169
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,658
-Vamos,Sere.
You're running out of time.
170
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,199
{\an8}[upbeat music playing]
171
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:34,781
[***]
172
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:17,290
[audience chattering]
173
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,866
-You made it!
174
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,903
-I wasn't about to give you
a reason to put me in Gertrude.
175
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:38,611
-Felix, I'm so sorry
for the car,
176
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:42,682
the coffin, the glitter.
177
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,616
You didn't sign up
for this type of chaos.
178
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,151
-I signed up for chaos
the day I met you.
179
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,321
And I wouldn't have it
any other way.
180
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,493
But let's cool it
with the coffins, yeah?
181
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,928
-Okay.
182
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,078
Stage manager:
Serena, thirty seconds.
183
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,234
-Go give 'em the plot twist
they never saw coming.
184
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,968
[bell rings]
185
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,940
Serena: Ladies and gentlemen,
but mostly ladies,
186
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,643
please put your hands together
for the one... the only...
187
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,346
Serena Fucking Kerrigan.
188
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,313
[audience applauding]
189
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:18,218
Let's fucking go.
190
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,354
[***]
191
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,790
* Let's fucking go *
192
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:27,327
* Looking in the mirror *
193
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:31,364
* I can see you clear *
194
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,235
* All of my rejections *
195
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,972
* Just redirected me *
196
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,608
* I'm everything *
* I wanted to be *
197
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,477
* Older, harder and wiser *
198
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,413
* And it's only the start *
199
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:50,417
* It's only it's only *
* It's only the start *
200
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:55,017
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