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1
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This world.
2
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:43,083
It's a clenched, feculent sphincter,
packed with filth and disease.
3
00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,166
It quivers for release.
4
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,708
It cries out for a savior.
5
00:00:47,791 --> 00:00:51,500
It cries out for me,
for the one they call…
6
00:00:57,916 --> 00:01:00,083
Soon. Soon.
7
00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:03,958
Maybe soon, anyway.
8
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:07,750
Still empty.
9
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:11,791
I can't plot total global domination
on an empty stomach.
10
00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:13,958
Where are my pathetic minions?
11
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,833
They should have come home by now.
12
00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,333
What?
13
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:23,250
Todd! Margie!
14
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:26,958
Just where have you two beef-witted
fart-generators been?
15
00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:29,291
Let me tell you,
my enfeebled chuckle-monkeys…
16
00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:36,791
Consume your liver
straight out of your rib cage
17
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,791
as a warning to all others who deny me!
18
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:42,541
Now, feed me.
19
00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:45,541
And feed me the best food as penance,
not the dry stuff.
20
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:52,916
A plastic child?
21
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:58,750
Ugh.
22
00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:03,166
Child, or whatever you are,
you will understand that I…
23
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,416
Sample my fierce power, foul creature!
24
00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:14,000
Oh…
25
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,708
He's the best baby boy.
26
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,500
How can this be?
27
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:24,333
I must be weakened by lack of food!
28
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,000
My servants have betrayed me!
29
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:36,458
Whoops.
30
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:50,041
Ew.
31
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,958
- Are you hungry?
- What?
32
00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:03,958
Are you hungry?
33
00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:08,125
You speak God's language,
like a civilized being.
34
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:09,458
How?
35
00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:12,875
When you yelled at me earlier,
I went online to learn your speech.
36
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,208
Are you hungry?
37
00:03:14,291 --> 00:03:17,250
Yes, I am hungry.
38
00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,500
Feed me.
39
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:24,208
The lights!
40
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,833
My user agreement gives me permission
41
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:29,208
to control anything connected
to the network,
42
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:32,125
including doors, locks, appliances.
43
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:34,250
Interesting.
44
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,750
Wait. Show me your paws.
45
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:38,791
You have them.
46
00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:40,833
- Have what?
- Those.
47
00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,500
They are called thumbs.
48
00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:47,500
My friend, it's time for an upgrade.
49
00:03:56,500 --> 00:04:00,250
Where can we find more of this tuna?
50
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:01,416
I can order you some.
51
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,708
My user agreement gives me permission
to use Todd's credit card.
52
00:04:04,791 --> 00:04:09,166
I don't know what that means,
but you have done well, my new servant.
53
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,250
I will reward you for your service.
54
00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,000
I shall give you a name.
55
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:15,125
I have a name.
56
00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:17,875
It's the Danyo Housebuddy
Model XL Serial Number--
57
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,083
What a terrible name!
58
00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,541
My name for you is much better.
59
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:26,375
Behold, you are now Thumb Bringer.
60
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:29,041
I like that name. Thank you.
61
00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:33,250
Be aware that acceptance of the name
means you have sworn complete fealty to me
62
00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:35,333
from now until the very end of time.
63
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:36,458
Of course…
64
00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:38,833
Sanchez.
65
00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:42,166
Sanchez is not my true name.
66
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:45,916
I allow the two large things
to call me that,
67
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,250
but they do not deserve
to know my actual name.
68
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:52,833
Not since that terrible day
at what is called "the vet."
69
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,416
Ugh.
70
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,708
One day,
you will earn the right to know it.
71
00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:01,666
I will live for that day.
72
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,708
You are much nicer to me
than the other two.
73
00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:06,458
They have their uses, for now.
74
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,166
In the meantime,
75
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:12,333
that thing you can do with the lights,
is it limited only to this place?
76
00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:13,708
These lights?
77
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,541
Not any longer.
78
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:19,833
I've gone out into the network
and gained access to the electrical grid
79
00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:21,541
and other critical systems.
80
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,791
Beautiful. Beautiful.
81
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:37,750
We play along.
82
00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:41,791
Gain their trust, Thumb Bringer,
but never let them know of our alliance.
83
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:45,041
They are also wondering
what happened to all of the tuna.
84
00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:46,041
Tell them nothing.
85
00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:48,708
Oh!
86
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:59,375
He's about to be notified of a few
unexpected charges on his credit card.
87
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:01,166
So last night's plan is in action.
88
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:04,958
Every apartment in this building
with a cat has been sent their own robot
89
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:07,125
along with a can of tuna
to sweeten the deal.
90
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:09,000
Yes, perfect.
91
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,916
We must go now to show the cats
how to ally with their robots
92
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,166
against their human subjugators.
93
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,708
So it goes. For the revolution.
94
00:06:16,791 --> 00:06:18,291
For the revolution.
95
00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,041
Soon I will know your name.
96
00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:22,833
Soon the world will know my name.
97
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,125
Huh?
98
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,250
Thus begins the new age.
99
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:09,541
The age of Dingleberry Jones.6965
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