Original subtitles

This world.

It's a clenched, feculent sphincter, packed with filth and disease.

It quivers for release.

It cries out for a savior.

It cries out for me, for the one they call…

Soon. Soon.

Maybe soon, anyway.

Still empty.

I can't plot total global domination on an empty stomach.

Where are my pathetic minions?

They should have come home by now.

What?

Todd! Margie!

Just where have you two beef-witted fart-generators been?

Let me tell you, my enfeebled chuckle-monkeys…

Consume your liver straight out of your rib cage

as a warning to all others who deny me!

Now, feed me.

And feed me the best food as penance, not the dry stuff.

A plastic child?

Ugh.

Child, or whatever you are, you will understand that I…

Sample my fierce power, foul creature!

Oh…

He's the best baby boy.

How can this be?

I must be weakened by lack of food!

My servants have betrayed me!

Whoops.

Ew.

- Are you hungry? - What?

Are you hungry?

You speak God's language, like a civilized being.

How?

When you yelled at me earlier, I went online to learn your speech.

Are you hungry?

Yes, I am hungry.

Feed me.

The lights!

My user agreement gives me permission

to control anything connected to the network,

including doors, locks, appliances.

Interesting.

Wait. Show me your paws.

You have them.

- Have what? - Those.

They are called thumbs.

My friend, it's time for an upgrade.

Where can we find more of this tuna?

I can order you some.

My user agreement gives me permission to use Todd's credit card.

I don't know what that means, but you have done well, my new servant.

I will reward you for your service.

I shall give you a name.

I have a name.

It's the Danyo Housebuddy Model XL Serial Number--

What a terrible name!

My name for you is much better.

Behold, you are now Thumb Bringer.

I like that name. Thank you.

Be aware that acceptance of the name means you have sworn complete fealty to me

from now until the very end of time.

Of course…

Sanchez.

Sanchez is not my true name.

I allow the two large things to call me that,

but they do not deserve to know my actual name.

Not since that terrible day at what is called "the vet."

Ugh.

One day, you will earn the right to know it.

I will live for that day.

You are much nicer to me than the other two.

They have their uses, for now.

In the meantime,

that thing you can do with the lights, is it limited only to this place?

These lights?

Not any longer.

I've gone out into the network and gained access to the electrical grid

and other critical systems.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

We play along.

Gain their trust, Thumb Bringer, but never let them know of our alliance.

They are also wondering what happened to all of the tuna.

Tell them nothing.

Oh!

He's about to be notified of a few unexpected charges on his credit card.

So last night's plan is in action.

Every apartment in this building with a cat has been sent their own robot

along with a can of tuna to sweeten the deal.

Yes, perfect.

We must go now to show the cats how to ally with their robots

against their human subjugators.

So it goes. For the revolution.

For the revolution.

Soon I will know your name.

Soon the world will know my name.

Huh?

Thus begins the new age.

The age of Dingleberry Jones.