All language subtitles for Assisted Living s06e04 Dyna Woman.eng

I used to love this show.

Watching all these superhero
shows back in the day

is what made me want
to be an actress.

Yeah, I used to love
Superman, Batman, Spiderman

all out of the comics.

I had so many comics that
my mom used to get mad at me.

Oh, yes. I mean, I wasn't
into the comic books,

but I watched all
the superheroes on television.

I remember when Dyna Woman would
come on every Friday night.

-I never missed an episode.
-Dyna Woman.

-She was so beautiful.
-Oh, yeah.

I wanted to be her.

Oh, I had such a crush
on Dyna Woman.

Faster than the speed of sound.

Stronger than an MSTL army tank.

And more beautiful
than a Greek goddess.

? It's DYNA woman! ?

[both laughing]

Hey, what's going on there?

[TV News Reporter]
And a rash of break-ins

down in Breshington
is causing a great concern

for local residents.

Oh, no, that's...

that's right in our area.

Oh, my goodness, Reginald
that's right down the street.

[TV News Reporter] And it makes
scary situations scarier.

The masked bandits strike at
night while people are at home

because the thieves
are so brazen,

the police are
especially worried.

-Reginald, that's horrifying.
-[Anastasia] What?

What's horrifying?
What happened?

There's been a rash
of home break-ins in the area.

-In this area?
-Mm-hmm.

[TV News Reporter] Authorities
say the dubious criminals

particularly target the elderly.

Oh, I'm scared.

Oh, well,
just let me just talk to Jeremy.

It'll be all right.

Talk to me about what?

People are robbing homes
in this neighborhood.

And they're targeting
the elderly.

And that's us.

Speak for yourself.

That's not good.

See, baby, I told you

and Mr. Brown to get
that alarm fixed.

Wait, wait,
we don't have an alarm?

Relax, Mr. Reggie.
We have an alarm.

We just need to update it,

and I want to, you know,
repair all the cameras.

-So there is an alarm?
-Yeah.

It's just out-of-date one.

Oh, it's okay, Judge Junie.
It's okay.

Well, I'm sorry, Cora,
but this can't be taken lightly.

Okay, well, we have to take
precautions, Jeremy. Please.

Yeah, I know.

I know I'm not going to let
anything happen to any of us.

All right? We're good.

Oh, I like
when you talk like that.

-Sexy daddy.
-Baby, focus.

Focus. This is serious.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Someone could be planning
to break in here,

maybe even tonight.

Tonight?

Calm down, everybody. Calm down.

Look, it's just
that we're sitting ducks here.

He's right.

It's okay. It's all right.

? No matter what you do,
I love you ?

? No matter where you go,
I'm behind you for sure ?

? Always remember,
love will never walk ?

? We'll make it
if we stay together ?

I'm glad you called us
all together.

Yes.

They need to tell us
what they plan to do.

I have to say,
I don't like this.

Yeah, me either.

We pay a lot of money
to be here,

and their job is
to keep us safe.

Jeremy and Leah were talking
about they would make sure

the doors would be locked
and windows.

-What good would that do?
-No good.

-Windows can be broken.
-Yeah.

And I've presided over a number
of break-in cases,

and the bad guys always get
in through the windows.

And this facility is full
of windows.

Even the doors have windows.

-[Jeremy] Hey, everybody.
-Hey.

-Hello.
-Hey, is everybody okay?

No, we're not.
We're concerned for our safety.

Okay, everybody calm down.

Listen, we have consulted
with a number of consultants

about the security
that we have securitified here

at the Pleasant Day Facilities.

-And make sure that we-
-[Vinnie] Brown.

Brown, Brown,
will you shut up, please?

Vinny, sit down and shut up.
You like-

You can't make me sit down.

You two, would you please-
Just stop it, alright?

But just have a seat,
please, Mr. Vinny.

All right,
I'll sit down for you.

-[Efe] Yes, please.
-Alright, I'll sit down for you.

I want to hear how
they're going to protect us.

Yeah, people are breaking in.

Okay, well, look, Mr. Reginald,

the reports are
actually in Breshington.

Yeah, that's one town over.

Well, then I'm close enough.

I wish somebody
would break up in here.

I got something for their ass.
I do.

Mr. Vinny, please language.

-I promise.
-Behind.

Everyone, we are doing
everything we can

to prevent anyone
from coming in here.

[Jeremy] Yep.

And we're going
to upgrade our system.

Whoa, what does that mean?

Well, that means that
the board has decided

to purchase security systems
and cameras

for the entire facility.

Okay.

That's what we have decided
to do.

Well, that's a start.

Yes, but wait, there's more.

Oh.

My esteemed colleague
and business partner here

will now show you
the extreme measures

that we have decided
to take to securify you.

Show them.

Will you stop mashing your lips.

Grandson, What's going on?

Show them, show them, show them.

Look, everybody,
I got big old flashlights

for every one of you.
You know, the big security ones?

Yeah.

And you can even use it
as a weapon if you need to.

Yeah, you can bash
somebody's head in.

Put those in the top drawer,
and if the power goes out

and you hear something,
you can use the flashlight.

-All right.
-However way you need it.

-Okay.
-Okay, secondly, I have mace.

-All right?
-Oh.

Now, we're going to keep
this on our person

as we go in
and out of the facility, okay?

Yes. Yes.

-Be careful.
-Thank you, thank you.

This is... I've seen this used.

-You must be extremely careful
-That's right.

while operating this stuff.

This can be extremely dangerous.

So be careful that you do-

[all screaming]

Oh, my God. Wait.

-Oh, my God.
-Mr. Brown!

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-[Mr. Brown screaming]

[Vinnie laughing]

-Vinny that ain't funny.
-Yes it is.

Are you okay?

[Mr. Brown screaming]

[Vinny laughing]

Are you all right?

Oh my God.

[Mr. Brown screaming]

I'm sorry.

Cora help me.

Right here, right here.

So be extremely careful
everybody, extremely careful.

-But he's the MC?
-All right.

-Last but not least.
-Don't do that.

I got everybody stun guns, okay?

Oh.

Now, you put this in your top
drawer in your nightstand,

and you only use this
in an extreme emergency.

A stun gun?
Do you think that's necessary?

-Well, it can't hurt.
-Well, I feel better already.

No, you don't get one,
Mr. Brown.

Well, hopefully,
we'll never have to use these.

Zap them.

Just in case somebody come
in your room late at night,

you can use it then. Just...

-Just zap 'em.
-Yes.

Before anybody gets to zapping,
the sheriff is going to come by

and train us how
to really use these.

All right, everybody?

I don't need nobody to train me
on the weapon.

I'm a professional.

Well, thank you all for this.

I must say,
we feel a lot better.

Yeah, yeah. You're so welcome.

Our safety is our big concern
and responsibility here

at Pleasant Day's facility.

-Yes, yes.
-Yes, yes.

Mr. Brown is right.

Look, we love you all,
and we want you to feel safe

while you're under our care.

Thank you. We love you, too.

I was so frightened.

Man, there's nothing
to be worried about.

Those break-ins are not even
in our neighborhood.

Come on, now.

Mom, Dad.

What's going on?

The police are everywhere.

What? The police? Why?

Yeah, somebody broke into
the assisted living facility

across the street last night.

-Uh-oh.
-Oh, my God.

Yeah, and two of the residents
had their heads bashed in

with the flashlights
they have in their nightstands.

No. Jeremy, no flashlights.

-No.
-What?

We gone move.

What's all that ruckus?

I think the kids were coming in
from a party or something.

Oh, I love parties.
Those were the days.

Yeah, well, I think I'm going
to go make me some warm milk

and turn in.

Good night, Reginald.

I don't think I'm too far
behind you, though.

-Good night.
-Good night, darling.

[TV Show Narrator]
And once again,

thanks to the quick
action of Dyna Woman,

Bad Bandit was once again
defeated.

His dastardly plot foiled.

Join us next week for another
episode of Dyna Woman.

[TV Announcer] We'll be back
to TUT TV's Dyna Woman Marathon

right after this
short commercial break.

[glass breaking]

[whispering] What was that?

Sounded like glass breaking.

Sounded like it came out
the living room.

Oh, my God.

Who's that?

[shouting] You all right,
Bad Bandit?

Will you stop screaming,
you idiot, man?

Why you always got
to put me down?

Call me by my bandit name.

Call me...[shouting] the Crow!

[imitates rooster crow]

That is a chicken, man.

Help me up, man.
Come on, help me up.

Now case the joint.
Look around.

Quiet, quiet.

This is not good.

Yeah, that definitely came out
the living room.

Sounded like
the window breaking.

Wait, you think we should check
it out?

Hell no, we're black.

Don't be scared.

Come on, you want your sister
to show you up?

Yeah, I mean,
peer pressure don't affect me.

Oh, come on, man up.

I'll get the lights.

[all screaming]

Why are you screaming?

Because they scared me.

We are the bad guys.
Get yourself together.

All three of you,
get your hands up.

Higher!

What the hell are you doing?

I got hungry,
my blood sugar got up.

Pull out your gun, fool.

Get your hands up.
Don't you move, Jive Turkey.

I am the Crow.

[imitates rooster crow]

I'm telling you
that's a damn chicken.

Oh.

-[imitates rooster]
-It's a rooster.

-[imitates pigeon]
-Pigeon.

Please don't hurt us, please.

Get yourself together, Phillip.

I can't, man.
My nerves all over the place.

Well, get your nerves together.

Hey, what did he tell
you all about talking?

Shut your mouth now
before I peck you to death.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're sorry.
We're sorry, Mr. Pigeon.

Can I call you Mr. Pigeon?

It's Mr. Crow.

Finally a sentiment
we all three can agree on.

Now shut your yapping
before I silence you forever.

Oh, not forever.

Look, I beg of you,
don't kill us, okay?

I'm just a young, talented,
good-looking vessel

with so much potential.

You really need
to get yourself together.

You're losing all
your cool points.

I don't even care
about cool points.

-They're going to kill us.
-Shh.

Here comes the light. Get down.

Shut up. Shut up.

Oh my God.

-[Leah] Mom don't!
-[Philip] Run!

-What?
-[Reginald] Save yourself!

Ah-ha! Not so fast,
you two lovebirds.

-Jeremy, he got a gun.
-Well, look at that.

No shit, Sherlock.

All beauty and no...stop him!

Where do you think you going?

Huh? Where you going, huh?

Okay.

Take me.

Just don't hurt my family.

[imitating] Take me?
Just don't hurt my family?

What are you,
some sort of a hero?

Don't you talk to
my husband like that now.

He is a hero. He's my hero.

You can't be no hero.

Wearing mauve pajamas
You can't intimidate nobody

wearing mauve pajamas.

Okay. What is mauve, anyway?

Mauve is a color. Okay?
It's a color. All right.

Look, y'all are never going
to get away with this.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bad Bandit,
I saw you on the news.

-Yeah.
-The police are looking for you.

Yeah. They might find me,
but they won't find you

unless they decide to dig
six feet under the cold dirt.

[Leah gasping] Ooh.

So I was talking to some of
the residents across the street.

Yes.

The break-ins have been
very shook up.

Oh, yes.
You know I feel so sorry

for those people
across the street.

But you don't have to worry.
This place is secure.

Ain't nobody getting robbed
over here.

Ain't nobody getting tied up
over here.

-It's together.
-I hope so.

Yes. This place can't nobody
penetrate our security system.

Ah-ah. The lights are still on.

Yes, they are.

I wonder if people are still up
very late.

Yes, they are.

And ain't nobody
straightened up.

There's dishes all in the sink.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Two pretty evil guys broke
in here, Cora.

They tied us up.

Cora, I thought you said
this place is secure

and no one will break in.

I'm so sorry.
I think I was wrong. I'm sorry.

-Are they still here?
-No.

They're going around trying
to steal everything.

Yeah, they said they were going
to kill us.

I'm too young to die.

We need you to help us.

-Let us untie you.
-No, there's no time.

Go, go, go. Call the police.

Okay, okay, okay.

They're coming. Go now.

Oh, my gosh.
This is our only hope.

What was that? What was that?

Yeah, I heard talking.
Who talking?

I just stopped.

No, no, no. We're too scared
to talk, Mr. Pigeon.

I can't get this dial tone.

I can't get this signal
on my cell phone.

Oh those poor people tied up.

Hello, somebody.
Oh Lord please help us.

In case any of you had thoughts
of being saved,

you can forget about it

because I blocked all
the cell lines from this house.

And I cut the phone lines too.

So there's no way
you can call for help.

What do we do now?

I don't know,
but we better do something fast.

Or they're all done. Forever.

We need a hero.

Oh, my God.

What are you
two whispering about?

Shh. Shh. Anastasia.

-We're in grave danger.
-Oh, no. What is it?

Two bad guys showed up.

And they took everyone hostage.
And now?

And now what?

I don't know. I can't bear it.

I can't bear to look.

Oh, my God.

What is that, Bad Bandit?

[chuckles evilly]

How funny you should ask,
young buck.

This should seal your doom.

Is this
your signature smoky poison?

[Bad bandit laughing]

You're so evil.

So evil.

I know. I tried so hard to be.

Poison gas? You can't kill us.

-Have you no soul?
-Or sense of humanity?

No, I have none of that.
Now, shut up.

Prepare to die
in excruciatingly painful death.

[Bad Bandit and The Crow
laughing evilly]

This is terrible.

[Efe] What are we going to do
now?

[Cora] I don't know.

What is...What is that?

Oh, my God.

-Pink smoke?
-Yes, what is it?

-That could only mean one thing.
-What?

[superhero spy music]

[all] It's Dyna Woman.

Oh, no. Quick. It's Dyna Woman.

Hey, throw your poison gas.

Even she can't stand
the poison gas.

Prepare to die, Dyna Woman.

Bring it. Bring it. Bring it.

[Bad bandit groaning]

I'm out of here, crow.
I'm out of here.

Foiled again by Dyna Woman.

Let me get you guys untied.

Dyna Woman. That was crazy.

Oh, thank you so much.

Please. Oh, my gosh.

There you go.

You are amazing.

-You're literally a lifesaver.
-Thank you.

I do my best.

Thank you for saving our family.

And thanks for not allowing me
to die of poison gas.

I'm not good with pain.

-Girl power.
-Yes, girlfriend.

-Everyone okay?
-Yes.

Thanks to Dyna Woman.

She saved the day.

What the... Bad bandit?
And The Crow.

All thanks to Dyna Woman.

We've been looking
for these two forever.

Where did she go?

Oh, she was right there.

Miss Anastasia.

Everyone okay?

You missed it.

Yeah, we were almost killed.

Dyna Woman saved us.

Yeah, you were minutes away
from choking to death.

I almost died
an excruciating death.

But your evil plot was foiled.

Yes.

Thank God for Dyna Woman.

[music]

[Anastasia groaning]

Thank. God for Dyna Woman.

[TV Show Narrator]
And once again,

Bad Bandit and The Crow
were no match

for the powers of Dyna Woman.

Mm-mm-mm.

Miss Anastasia, you still
in here watching

this Dyna Woman marathon.

She was my favorite
since I was a little girl.

You know, I love superheroes,
too.

[TV News Reporter]
In breaking news,

the criminals believed
to have caused great fear

and concern in the city
of Breshington

have been caught by police.

Police say a courageous woman

helped to bring down
the evil duo.

Oh, my gosh. I'm so relieved.

We would have been okay
over here, Leah.

-We're covered.
-I know that's right.

[both laughing]

Good night, Miss Anastasia.

Goodnight Leah.

[music]

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