Original subtitles

After all these years, I didn't let myself fall apart.

I dared not to.

I never looked back.

Not that I needed to.

There was nothing I can't bear to part.

For the best is yet to come.

And today I found out that

it never will come.

Everything I think I know about myself is wrong.

To me, life is but an illusion.

From now on things will never get better.

Never ever.

All my life, like everyone else,

I've been waiting in line for my share of honey.

It was a long line

and my turn never came.

All my life, like everyone else,

I've been waiting in line for my share of honey.

It was a long line

and my turn never came.

Are you hungry?

Wanna go grab a bite somewhere?

I could use a few drinks.

Then let's go find a bar.

At your place.

My place is that way.

Can we go this way, though?

That'll do, too.

Alex, turn the volume down.

You've been playing this song the whole morning.

Alexander.

Alex.

"All night three times."

Come down for brunch.

Mr. B, Mr. B.

Can I have a few more days?

- Eat First. - Next week.

I'll definitely pay the rent next week.

I'll give you one month.

Come down and have breakfast.

Okay-dokey.

Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

For me?

Together? No?

No.

Just one night?

What happened, Mr. B?

One night stand?

It means...

I know what it means.

What one night stand?

Off to work?

Enjoy painting today.

I'll pick you up when I'm off work.

Xiao Zhang, Xiao Zhang.

Your dad is in no shape to paint.

Uncle.

Don't you patronize him.

My dad loves art.

He practices at home every day.

Really? He does?

Morning, Mr. B.

There you are.

How are you doing? Better?

I'll never do that again.

I'll never do that again.

See, he's delusional.

So are all great artists.

Mr. B's class is not a nursing home.

A nursing home would be much more expensive.

Mr. B, make sure he takes his medication at 11:00.

Thank you.

Come back here.

Let him go. Xiao Zhang is having a rough time.

It's bad luck running into people like that.

It's okay.

Come over here, enjoy your sunbath.

Alex.

You're up early.

I haven't slept, Lao Wu.

Good for you.

I see your taste has changed.

Into them cougars now, are we?

What?

Just like me when I was young.

She's Shanghainese, right?

I can tell.

What are you talking about?

I saw it through the window.

She ran out early in the morning

in such a hurry.

Then she tripped

and snapped one of her high-heels.

Hey, Lao Wu,

stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

Alex,

take the plate and go eat upstairs.

Alex and I are like best buds.

We young people tell each other everything.

Best buds?

You pay his rent then.

These are some slutty shorts.

Except your legs are too skinny.

I'm telling you.

Work out your body but not your legs. Sooner or later you'll regret it.

Go up there.

Time to work.

It's great.

Hey,

have you made a decision about what we discussed the other day?

No way.

Your paintings are way too fine and sophisticated

to be exhibited in the Senior Citizens' Activity Center,

alongside tablecloths, slippers, and TV covers

woven by some old ladies.

It'd be humiliating.

I think it's cool.

It's like presenting your art to the people, where it came from.

I actually found you a place for an exhibition.

You're such an artist,

yet you don't hang out with your peers or participate in exhibitions.

Working here as an art teacher,

don't you feel ashamed?

Not ashamed! Not ashamed!

Sit back down.

Listen to me.

This is painting.

This is cooking.

This is drumming.

This is writing poetry.

And this is teaching.

Separated, they are meaningless.

Together, it's wholesome.

Every side represents a different part of me.

I told you this a long time ago.

I'm versatile.

Artist or not,

this is your charisma.

Gloria.

Sure has that gothic vibe going on today.

Go?

Go what?

Danse Macabre

HONEY: I've been waiting in line for my share of honey

It's finally my turn

Then I find out they don't sell honey here

Mr. B.

Gloria, what on earth are you painting?

Can't you tell?

It's too three-dimensional.

Paint another one.

Mr. B, are you nervous?

Why would I be nervous?

Where's that Taiwanese husband of yours?

I told you last time,

he went missing. Can't find him.

For a month?

Did the kidnappers call you for ransom?

Well, if they do then I'll tell them

to kill him.

Tear him into pieces.

Isn't your husband having an affair?

Even better.

Then I can have someone else too.

No one's getting any younger, am I right?

I see things clearly now.

This is my time to shine.

I'm rich and free, with my husband missing.

You can't ask for a better life.

That's true.

Why did you stop painting and start chitchatting?

Lao Wu went to change his clothes.

Yes, Lao Wu's changing.

There he is.

Looking good.

Come on, sit down already.

Hurry.

Slept well last night?

Mhm.

Nice muscles.

Great, huh?

You should lose those jeans.

Hey, A'de.

Mr. B, welcome back.

These are your size.

These too.

And I got one for your mom.

Thanks bro.

This isn't even your style.

Huh.

How much in total?

These fit foreigners better.

These fit me, too.

Don't you always wear polo shirts like this?

These are so comfortable.

This one sure is, 100% cotton.

It's a cheap knockoff for foreign tourists.

Give me a discount then.

Wait.

You...

You're not taking the shorts? I stocked those for you.

- You can wear them as summer outfits, too. - I wear these now.

I'll take a pair of these,

and this.

You've started wearing sexy shorts?

Let me scan it.

Take all these shorts with you.

All of them?

They're all your size. I can't sell them to anyone else.

This is too many.

Hey, beautiful.

Hi there, Mr. B.

Say, Mr. B,

that tangerine peel bone broth I had at your place,

I tried to cook it at home

but it didn't taste right.

After the tangerine peel is boiled

you need to scratch that white stuff off its surface.

And, before serving, add some vanilla to bring out the flavor.

Got it, thanks.

Pro.

My love,

all the discount stuff is here, right?

All here.

I think this one expires in a week.

Well, they're just cooking ingredients

and you taught me this.

Add beer instead of water when cooking pork stew.

So it comes out more fragrant.

This will make your hair extra smooth.

See how shiny it is?

Water your plants with the leftover beer and the leaves will be super green.

Works like a charm.

I'm having someone over for a drink

and you guys turned it into a tip-sharing session.

Who are you having over? Is it a woman? Women love fine wine.

Who says my guest is a woman?

I need something less strong.

It's so overpriced.

Hey, Yangyang.

How could you let a young lady do such heavy labor?

Dad, leave it.

It's her job.

Yangyang,

I brought you some food.

Oh, thanks.

What is it?

This is for you.

Unpack it back home.

I got plenty of cleaning cloth here.

What cleaning cloth?

You can wear them as summer outfits.

Feel the summer breeze.

No, thank you.

100% cotton.

International brands.

Thank you, sir.

Americano?

Yeah, as usual.

Okay.

Hey, Yangyang,

have you seen this play?

My friend's in it.

I can get you some tickets.

I think I'll pass.

You've seen it?

It's excruciatingly boring.

Wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

But one of my friends said

it made her cry.

I think she needs a psychiatrist.

Don't say that.

The book is quite good, actually.

It's the adaptation that sucks.

Three people wandering about on stage talking nonsense.

It's based on a book?

Not a lot of people know that.

Like many Chinese movies nowadays,

they never mention it's a remake

while promoting it.

So, you wouldn't know.

Which one are you talking about?

The one we saw yesterday.

Yesterday?

You don't remember?

Ouch.

Who are you talking about?

Some dumbass.

Did you get your eyebrows done?

They've always looked like this.

You don't think I know what your eyebrows look like?

I just had some wild ones plucked.

Wild ones?

As opposed to domestic eyebrows?

What kind of guy plucks his eyebrows?

I don't like them so I plucked them.

Oh, you don't like them?

Even a young lady like her doesn't pluck her eyebrows.

She's no lady.

She's sloppier than you are.

How am I sloppy?

Don't tell me you also wear makeup.

I'm not.

Ew, what are you applying on your hands?

I wash hundreds of glasses every day

so my skin cracks.

I've washed my hands for over 40 years

and I've never applied anything to them.

You can have this.

I don't want it.

I'm out of here.

Uncle.

Uncle.

Okay, thanks.

Pay up.

You already have all the shorts.

Yongkang Road, Apartment 185.

Apartment 185?

Got it, got it.

I never told you this.

Of course.

See you.

Thanks, Xiaoyun.

Great, you're home.

What are you doing here?

I'm just dropping by to give you something.

I saw you enjoyed that play.

This is the original novel.

It's better than the play.

Hey,

how did you know where I live?

Xiaoyun told me.

What else did she tell you?

That you're divorced

and single.

Kid studying abroad.

And what did you tell her?

I said you're a wonderful woman.

Pretty, gentle, and fascinating.

That's it?

That's it.

It's signed by the author.

I forged it.

Just scratch it off if you don't like it.

Who is that? You hired an electrician?

He also brought you something.

Is he a friend?

Let's talk inside, come on up.

Have you had dinner?

Not yet.

Haven't cooked yet.

Here.

This is the one.

Careful.

Where's the pork stew I put in the fridge?

I threw it away.

Why did you do that?

I don't get it.

You're way too charitable for someone who's not rich.

I'm telling you.

Don't ever throw away food

that I put in the fridge.

You don't have to eat it.

I just made that pork stew the other day.

What a waste.

I've told you a million times.

Don't cook more than you can eat.

People get cancer from eating too much leftover food.

It's not like I forced you to eat it.

As for getting cancer...

Our generation ate leftover food all the time.

I've never heard of anyone getting cancer from it.

You live under my roof and eat my food.

How can you be so ungrateful?

What do you mean I eat your food?

Did I not buy all the household stuff?

Did I not give you money?

So picky.

Your money's nothing to brag about.

Wu Xiaoyun's husband

bought a house for his mother-in-law in Pudong.

And you?

Married that white trash,

then lost your two houses.

What have I done to deserve a spoiled bastard like you?

It's the wire. I'll run out and get one.

Forget it. Leave it be.

Let's talk inside.

Come on in.

Such a bitch.

And you just bring him in like that?

Why are you standing? Sit.

I think I'll just leave. This seems like a bad time.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're gonna walk away after seeing a show?

That wasn't much of a show.

My mom called me worse.

It's not a competition.

Have a seat.

This house.

Why aren't you moving out?

It's closer to my kid's school.

I thought your kid is abroad.

Here she is.

Hey, sweetie, come over here.

Not yet.

Have some chocolate.

Say hi to Mr. B.

Hi, Mr. B.

Hi.

What does he teach?

Art.

What grade?

Actually,

he teaches grandpas, grandmas,

and aunties.

What grade are they in?

I'm going to hold an exhibition.

Really?

I thought you told me it's just for fun.

An exhibition is fun, too.

Don't just eat chocolate.

Have you studied English, or done your homework?

Maya, you're a foreigner.

It'd be embarrassing if you flunked English.

Go get your book, I'll help you with dictation.

And no sleep until we're done.

So, what's her non-Chinese half?

British.

Doesn't her dad talk to her in English?

Don't even get me started on that scumbag.

How many words are we dictating today? Your call.

Ten.

Get your pencil out.

You ready?

Calm.

As in "calm down."

Distance.

As in "keep distance."

Regret.

As in "I regret something."

You think I own a power plant or something?

Electricity costs money.

And you're flushing my money down the toilet.

You wanna be my mom's boyfriend?

Your mom's my friend. Good friends.

Girlfriend, then.

How come you don't speak English?

I do.

Then why did you fail the exam?

I can speak but not write. The exam was too hard.

The exam was too hard?

It is kind of hard.

Are you done? Let me see.

All wrong.

They're all wrong, Maya.

Did you not use your brain?

I think I'll just leave.

Sure, you take care.

Maya, say goodbye to Mr. B.

Bye.

When is your exhibition and where?

The exhibition...

Soon.

I'll text and let you know.

Great.

You know what?

When Xiaoyun was decorating her home

she sent me all these pictures of paintings,

asking me to pick two for her.

And I picked yours in the blink of an eye.

Why?

I think your style

fits her home perfectly.

What style is her home?

I'll help you put these away.

Sure, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Are these the high-heels you had on last time?

I'll help you fix it.

I can do it myself. Put it down.

It's okay.

You eh...

You're not taking the other one?

This one's not broken.

That's okay. I'll use it as a reference.

See ya.

This is the exhibition place you got for me?

How am I going to hold an exhibition here?

This is the new trend.

It used to be a bubble tea place.

So, it's quite popular.

That was a long time ago.

Now it's just a pop-up store.

How many people can fit in this shallow space?

Not many. That's why they have to wait in line.

The bubble tea shop would pay people to wait in line.

It's called "hunger marketing."

Wait in line?

A very long line.

But when they find out it's an art exhibition instead of bubble tea,

won't they get mad?

What are you talking about?

Size 37.

Beibei's?

We've been divorced for years.

Why would she want me to fix her shoes?

Whoever it is, Mr. B,

she's not right for you.

How do you figure?

Jimmy Choo.

Authentic.

They cost over 10,000. Think you can afford to date their owner?

These shoes cost 10,000?

Are you familiar with that famous quote?

I assumed it's from your dad again.

Not this time it isn't.

It's about Jimmy Choo.

What is the quote?

She's not that kind of woman.

She has been wearing these for years to save money.

Every woman should at least have one pair of Jimmy Choo in their life time.

What about men?

What could men possibly want?

We are not that gullible.

Nonsense.

Men want more. We're dumber.

Alright, stop drinking coffee.

Fix the shoes already.

What time is it now?

It's my coffee time.

You do know that, don't you?

Will your coffee taste like shoes?

Who are you looking for?

Wu Xiaoyun.

Oh, Sister Yun. Hey sister, you have a visitor.

Mr. B.

You're here.

I have it here.

Sorry for bothering you.

The artist hand-double we hired couldn't make it.

So, I figured, you're an artist.

And you don't have much to do.

That's true. I don't.

Who's in charge of this?

Now you're apologizing to me?

How am I gonna tell the director? What are we going to tell the client?

How much longer?

35 minutes.

35 minutes.

35 minutes?

Sooner!

Mr. B, what brings you here?

He's the hand-double now.

I told you to get a student from the art school.

Why would you go and bother Mr. B?

He doesn't have much to do.

It's okay. I'm free.

Only my hands will be in the shot, right?

Do I need to change?

Really? You can help us with it?

Of course.

Let me double check with the director then.

Are you sure you're not filming my face?

The actor who plays the artist

looks too good.

He doesn't seem like an artist.

Nor do you look like a poet.

I'm not a poet. I just like to talk in segments.

Mr. B, sorry for today. Here's something to eat.

You're being too kind.

You should buy Mr. B a fancy dinner next time.

I give you my word.

I ate boxed meals every day when I worked at that TV network.

Did you?

Now if you'll excuse me.

Thank you.

You used to have a job?

I thought you just collected rent for the houses.

You even know how many houses I have?

Xiaoyun told me.

I used to teach art at an elementary school.

In '98, I became a stage designer for this TV network.

That was the year I started college.

What college?

A crappy one.

I almost made it into Tongji University, just three points below the line.

Then I wanted to study abroad.

Again, almost got myself into NYU.

Where did you end up then?

Nowhere.

I stayed in Shanghai and worked in advertising.

I decided to take a different path since I couldn't have the best.

And is that new path a smooth ride?

Well, going downhill is always a smooth ride.

Maybe we can go mountain climbing some day.

I fixed your high-heels.

So...

when should I bring them over?

That'd be great.

Okay then.

When and where?

4:00

Taiyuan Road, what number?

Cool, got it.

Mr. B.

Mr. B.

Since when did you have a kid?

He didn't.

Let's go inside and do your homework.

Maya.

Where's your dad? How often do you see each other?

You are not close with my mom.

How am I not close with your mom?

Why else would she let me look after you?

Then tell me, how old is she?

Alright.

Here's something I'd like to teach you.

It'll be useful when you grow up.

A real gentleman

would never guess a lady's age.

And if the lady asked him to guess,

he'd say a younger age.

That's why I say your mom is only

40 years old.

She's 38.

When will your mom

send you to Britain?

"Back," cause I'm British.

So, it'd be "send me back to Britain."

Will your mom go back with you?

Not "back" for her, "to."

Because she's Chinese.

Use this attention to detail on your English

and you wouldn't have failed the exam.

Forget the exam. My English will get better once I'm back home.

And I'll be a British girl who speaks the most fluent Mandarin.

Do you want to go back?

Why not?

I don't like Britain.

You don't like your dad?

What else do you want to eat?

No? How about we do some homework then?

Carry on.

Jesus, Maya, keep doing this

and you'll go blind.

I can't do it while you're watching.

Fine, I'll make myself disappear.

Lao Wu.

Lao Wu's here.

Peter

Lagavulin.

You can't park your bike here.

Move it.

I always park it here.

I'll be here too.

Just one coffee.

Still no. Get it out of here.

The owner told me to park here.

I've been coming to this coffee house for ten years.

And I always parked here.

Who's in charge here? The owner or me?

I say you can't and you can't.

Move it.

I'll call for backup if you don't.

Don't waste your time with him.

I will be back soon.

We're doomed.

This place gets more boring every day.

Less and less humane.

Nitpickers like him run everything.

He's just doing his job.

It's like they're the master and we're the guests.

What master?

Two or three generations earlier,

everyone from out of town were guests.

Anyway,

I don't feel welcomed here anymore.

You'll feel welcomed in Europe.

Your lady Sophia Loren will welcome you, too.

Mark my words.

I'll go back once I'm done with my business here.

Back to Europe.

How old is Sophia Loren now?

90 something?

She's 85.

Even made a film last year.

Directed by her son.

It's called "La Vita Davanti a Sé."

She played Madame Rosa.

It's based on a novel by the French writer,

Romain Rolland.

There was a French film before.

So, it's a remake.

And it got an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.

She told you all this?

I read it on the internet.

Does she still remember you?

Nonsense.

She can never forget me. You'd better believe that.

Whatever makes you happy.

I'm trying to help and you won't let me.

The place you found just won't do.

I found you another one.

This time it's the real deal.

My German girlfriend owns it.

No more hesitation.

Who said you can park your bike there?

You can't. Move it.

Fine, I'm leaving.

Can't stay here any longer.

Not for another minute.

It's okay. I'll pay.

Maya, do your homework.

Maya.

Thank you, Mr. B.

She has done her homework.

She got to Reading Comprehension on her paper,

but hasn't written the essay yet.

And I've checked the parts she's finished so far.

Sorry for the trouble.

You are so considerate for a man.

Don't mention it.

Maya, come, let's go home.

I forgot your heels.

That's fine.

I'll go pick them up at your place tonight.

Maya, hurry, we're leaving.

Say goodbye to Mr. B.

Give Mr. B his phone.

Let's go. Say goodbye to Mr. B.

Bye.

Check please.

What are you doing here?

Have you had dinner yet?

Nope, dinner's ready at home.

I'll walk you out then.

What's in your hand?

Mom.

Alex, where's the detergent?

Mr. B, where is the toilet paper?

Mr. B.

Where's the shampoo?

For me?

Thank you.

I'm coming.

Mr. B, Mr. B.

Easy, easy.

I'll close the door.

It's killing me.

I see you've brought your silvers.

Didn't eat, did you?

I had no appetite.

Mr. B,

it's all your fault actually.

You had to make that stupid joke

and now it came true.

What joke?

I don't know who to talk to

about such an embarrassing family thing,

so I'm telling you.

But, Mr. B,

you can't tell anyone else.

What family thing?

That loser husband of mine

has been missing for over a month, right?

You know me. I couldn't care less.

A while ago he called me,

using a burner phone that can't be traced.

He said he had this big plan

and that I shouldn't look down upon him.

And I was like, "Please."

You didn't know, Mr. B,

but he's been unemployed

ever since we got married.

Any business he got into, big or small, only lost money.

I gave up on him a long time ago.

To be honest, he was kind of cute

and two years younger than me.

I'm just one block away.

But now he's 40, right?

Do you need me to pick anything up?

Can't we just live a normal life?

Eh, Gloria...

Two months ago,

this guy he went to high school with

asked him to go back to Taipei.

Something huge, he said.

Supposedly they'd go to Turkey,

driving trucks for this company,

to eastern Europe.

What company I did not know.

He was all mysterious about it.

I didn't care to ask anyway.

Just now he called me.

Again, using a burner phone.

I picked up and he yelled, "Honey, save me!"

And I said, "Why should I even bother to save your pathetic life?"

He was like, "Honey, save me please."

And Mr. B, guess what?

Before he could finish, someone took his phone.

A man with a Taiwanese accent,

talking slowly, said that he had my husband.

Coming.

Oops, Mr. B,

you're expecting someone?

This is Gloria, my student.

I'm her art teacher.

This is Ms. Li.

Ms. Li, is it?

Come on in, don't stand there.

Come in, make yourself at home.

I'll go make you some tea.

Do you prefer black or green?

Come on now, you're my guest too.

I can't let you serve tea.

Mr. B, please, you and I are closer than this.

I'll go wash the fruits then.

Sit down. Make yourself at home.

Sit, please.

Is Maya asleep?

What else would she be doing at this hour?

I didn't know she'd be here.

Mr. B, here.

Fruits are ready.

Excuse me, let me put the fruits down.

Make yourself at home.

Look at that, you've already reset the table.

I'm sorry about before.

Were you crying?

It has nothing to do with me.

Her...

Can I tell her?

Her husband was kidnapped.

You should call the police.

How come I didn't think of that?

We can call the police.

No police.

He kept telling me that.

Also, he's in Turkey now.

You know, Mr. B?

The country's located between Europe and Asia.

Plus, my husband is Taiwanese.

What could the Shanghai police possibly do?

Contact the embassy then.

Turkish embassy.

It's on West Zhongshan Road, not far from here.

Informing the embassy is basically the same as calling the police.

What if they killed him?

I stopped loving my husband,

or caring for him, a long time ago.

However,

he's still a human being.

I can't just let him die in a foreign country.

That's too harsh.

How much money did they ask for?

25,000

Euros?

RMB.

Well,

that's not much.

A flight to Turkey from Shanghai

costs about 10,000.

You should make the transfer.

I don't think so.

What if they take the money

then ask me for more?

It could go on forever, Mr. B.

That's why you should call the police.

Oh really!

Where did you meet him?

somewhere in...

Hi, gorgeous.

Hi, Alex.

Let's go upstairs, yeah?

Are they all your roommates?

Just the old guy.

Interesting.

And this is...?

That's Alex.

From Italy.

He's a tenant here,

and claims to be a talking head on this show.

I don't know what that means.

Does he live in the penthouse or the flat on the second floor?

You've been here before?

All the old houses are like this.

What are you doing here?

Tell your mom to stop bringing me things.

She did it again?

And all the stuff she gives me is hand-me-downs from you, you know that?

What, does she think I'm a beggar?

No wonder I can't find anything.

I've talked to her about it a thousand times.

You don't have to come all the way.

Just go home and have a good rest.

You have some dark circles around your eyes.

I've been saying this for 20 years.

Those are my lying silkworms.

You must be Beibei.

Come sit down and I'll make you some tea.

Are you hosting a women's conference here?

Discussing some serious matters.

Jesus Christ...

How boisterous!

I can smell the heat from a mile away.

What, are you having a party?

Beibei.

Haven't seen you in a while.

Come on, take this.

Gloria.

You look gorgeous today.

- As always. - Stunning.

Gorgeous.

And who is this young lady I've never met?

Ms. Li. She's Wu Xiaoyun's colleague.

- I see. Hi. - Hello.

Hey, why don't you introduce me?

Lao Wu.

China-EU trade representative.

Also general agent for a French company.

I work for a French company, too.

Commercial producer.

This beautiful lady looks familiar.

Every beautiful lady looks familiar to you.

Wow, you understood that?

I'm just a divorced woman from the past.

I have no business here.

I'm leaving.

Don't go. Why do you have to leave?

Everyone here is divorced.

This is a party for divorced people.

That's enough.

Come on, she has things to do.

Well, since Lao Wu asked,

I might as well stay.

It's not like I have anything better to do.

Yeah. Stay and drink with us. Come sit down.

Lao Wu talks about you all the time.

Beibei, the ex-wife.

What a knockout.

Why would Lao Wu talk about me?

I'm not his ex-wife.

I wish that were true. Too bad I'm not that lucky.

Ex-wife's already past tense.

But you can make her your fiancé.

Why are you guys making fun of me?

You're too old to be smoking this.

How so?

Let her relax, right?

Yeah.

What's wrong with that?

Come on, let's drink.

I heard you're having an exhibition?

Even elementary school art teachers can hold exhibitions these days.

I see they have no standards at all.

Beibei.

You're obviously biased.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah. Mr. B is way more talented than those old crooks

in the Artists' Association.

He just doesn't know how to market himself.

Otherwise he'd be selling paintings in Europe,

instead of drinking with us here.

If you're going to have this exhibition,

please don't show the ones you did of me.

Don't flatter yourself.

I got rid of those a long time ago.

B,

I see you're dressed differently today.

Trying to look virginal, are we?

Trying to look virginal at this age?

Have you no shame?

Mr. B is in such good shape.

About as fit as Alex.

What shape? I'm all chubby.

Mr. B, do you work out?

At best I cook.

To be honest,

he was busy cooking for me all these years.

I appreciate that.

Hence the nickname, Mr. Busy for Nothing.

Not anymore. I'm Mr. Busy for Something now.

These sweet lotus roots are amazing.

And this sweet fermented rice soup

looks great, too.

The sweet lotus roots aren't even his expertise.

It's crucian and tofu soup.

Some people use soy milk to make the soup creamy

but he added nothing.

Just fish, tofu, and some side ingredients.

And the soup came out super creamy.

Fish soup is so nutritious.

That's why everyone always tells me I have great skin.

I have fish soup all the time, too.

It's too nutritious,

to the extent that I almost produced breast milk.

That's gross. Stop talking, you.

That's it, I'm not making another soup.

I'm done.

Like a footballer retiring his boots, I'm retiring my wok.

No, you can't. I haven't tried it yet.

That's right, Mr. B.

I haven't tried the soup, either. And even Lao Wu has.

During the ten years or so when we were married,

nobody ever wanted Mr. B.

Now that we're not together, he's a catch.

No way.

It's the cooking that's popular, not the cook.

That's not true.

Only a good chef matters to me.

However, I thought this was going to be a private dinner.

And now it's a banquet.

That's right. First come, first served.

People should take a number and wait in line.

Someone cut in, you mean?

Only street cats would fight over some leftover food.

- Who are you calling street cats? - Who are you calling leftover food?

Whatever it is,

we're here to eat.

Customer is God

and Gods don't fight over food.

Leftover food.

I never fight people for food.

It tastes better if you fought for it.

That's enough out of you.

I wouldn't mind being a street cat.

I can go wherever I want

and do whatever I like,

without a care in the world.

I've had my share of fancy dinners

so what's wrong with trying some leftover food?

After I'm done, I'll just wipe my mouth,

take off, and never look back.

Gloria,

do you have children?

Nope.

A woman's life isn't complete until she has children.

Bullshit. I can make up quotes like that in a second.

A woman's life isn't complete

until she has dumped a hundred men.

A woman's life isn't complete

until she has made a million bucks.

No woman is complete without living her life for herself.

A woman's life

isn't complete until

she has traveled the world.

That's right! Cheers!

That's outrageous.

They are rebelling against us.

A woman's life isn't complete until she has rebelled.

I say let's indulge ourselves.

I'll go get the chopsticks.

Hurry.

Any other hot dish?

Maybe we can have a crucian soup.

Can we or can we not?

Lao Wu has crucian at his place.

No crucian, no crucian.

It took me quite some time and effort to get all this stuff here.

Let's try some prosciutto and salami first.

B's so lightheaded today.

Tell him to fish one in the river.

Yeah, let him.

Where is the river?

Mr. B, come down, breakfast is ready.

B.

Come have some breakfast.

Hurry, it's getting cold.

Morning, stranger.

Yum yum.

Morning, Mr. B.

Wonderful night.

Mr. B, I get it.

Never use another person's kitchen without their permission.

So, I ran out early and bought all this.

Come here.

Where are the others?

You don't remember anything at all?

Lao Wu called cabs for everyone.

And you?

Well, I'm here, ain't I?

Alex, go have your breakfast upstairs.

Go. Do you hear me?

I'm gonna need you to pay your rent today.

Hurry.

Yum yum.

Mr. B, it's getting cold. Eat already.

Ouch.

What? Did your arm go numb from cuddling?

Last night...

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna tell anyone.

Easy.

Last night,

the two of us...

- ...did nothing right? - You don't remember a thing?

I wouldn't have...

Please, Mr. B.

You know me.

I never make the first move.

Say, Mr. B, what's the price for your paintings?

From hundreds to thousands.

You are that cheap?

Uh huh.

All of them are for sale?

Uh huh.

I'll take this one with the glass. The three plates are exquisite.

I'll have this.

Let me pay you.

You can have it if you want.

No way.

I may not respect the artist but I do respect the art.

Just take it.

Plus, last night, I...

What happened last night

is exactly why I'm paying.

Transferred.

I'll take this with me then.

No rush.

Let me have it mounted first.

That's right.

Somethings you just can't rush.

I have some errands to run so I'll take off now.

Yeah, sure.

And I won't be coming to art class today.

Of course.

Don't forget to collect your money.

That won't be necessary, really.

Holy... this is too much.

You're worth every penny.

- I don't worth it. - You definitely do.

Just take a look.

Look at Mr. B,

then look at yourself.

What's the use of working out, huh?

If you don't take advantage of that.

Absolutely.

I felt like I was

bought.

No.

Not really.

The money is for the painting.

That's another way to look at it.

This money really is for the painting.

Who would pay me for sex?

Hey, don't look down on yourself.

Yeah, Mr. B.

You're just like me.

They may call us players,

but what they don't get is

that we also enjoy being played.

There's no "we." It's just you.

You don't have to make a beautiful friendship dirty.

Good lord.

You call this friendship?

You two slept together

then the next day

you act like nothing happened.

What kind of friendship is that?

She called herself a street cat

who wipes her mouth after finishing a meal

then takes off.

She said so herself.

You know nothing about women.

They say one thing,

but are actually thinking the opposite.

Yeah.

Should I take this money then?

If I were you

I wouldn't take it.

You know how many women spent money on me back in the day?

Bought me houses and cars.

I couldn't take it, I'm telling you.

I've got a bit of machismo.

I don't want my women to behave like that.

Women can get addicted spending money on men.

You know how many women in the world went broke spending money on men?

Not Shanghai women.

Wrong.

Even if they don't spend money on you, they'd do it with another man.

If women release their power,

even the three of us combined wouldn't stand a chance.

Alex.

Have you seen a pair of high-heels around here?

No.

Why did you pick this place?

You asked me where I was and I said here.

Why? Should I find another place for you?

Since when did you learn to tango?

A woman's life isn't complete

until she has tangoed.

You're a fast learner when it comes to this.

Why don't you go square dancing?

It'd be easier to find a partner.

You never get me.

How?

You always love this pretentious stuff.

That's a little uncalled for.

See that girl there?

The one in the yellow dress?

You think she's pretty enough for our son?

No way.

Did my mom give you a pair of high-heels?

I threw them away.

Why should I keep something that's not mine?

For appreciation?

I gave the shampoo back because you can still use it.

As for the high-heels,

I don't suppose you have any use for them.

How could you throw other people's stuff away without even asking?

She gave them to me so they are my stuff.

And I can do whatever I want with them.

How could you?

What?

Go talk to your mom.

What's the use of talking to me?

I can't reason with my mom.

That poor woman just can't seem to let me go.

What can I do?

I never told my mom why we got divorced.

Why didn't you say that a woman's life isn't complete

until she has done something wrong?

What's wrong with having an affair?

How many times do you have to repeat it?

I just did something that every man in the world could have done.

So, a man can be forgiven for cheating

but I did it once and you divorced me?

How could you be so heartless?

I'm a woman of principle.

I may play games

but family always comes first.

Name one thing that disproved my words.

You did cook for me.

But you enjoyed doing that.

And it's not like I haven't done things to make you happy.

Don't you remember any of it?

I do and I'm not saying I wasn't happy.

I'll go talk to your mom,

ask her to stop bringing me stuff.

Thank you.

Now what?

You can only buy a new pair.

The real ones cost over 10,000.

Close to 20.

You can get a pair of cheap knockoffs.

Most people can't tell the difference.

How much would those cost?

It depends.

The good ones are 5 to 6,000.

And the bad ones, 5 to 600.

That's a huge difference.

Profitable business.

It goes for all things women love.

It's not an issue of whether I can afford it,

but whether it's worth it.

Mr. B.

What we have here is a profound philosophical argument.

In this world,

it's never about whether we think something's worth it.

The only question is whether we like it or not.

You can't run away from the truth.

It makes too much sense.

Gloria, I've had your painting mounted.

Where are you now? I'll bring it to you.

Shanghai to Istanbul.

Gloria: I'm at Nanjing Road 580, Room 888, hurry up.

Life is long

There's only so much

I can give

I want just one night of your life

Believe in me if you don't believe in love

Never said you love me even if you can't get enough of me

Do you think I'm that fragile

I want just one night of your life

My head is confused and my vows are blunt

The long night may end and another day may come

I only want so much from you

Come on.

Have some drinks.

Why haven't you taken the money?

It's a gift.

I'll give you more.

Please don't.

Actually, I came to ask you

if there's anything I can do for you.

What do you mean?

I'm thinking, maybe I can get a flight to Turkey

and bring your husband back.

What are you talking about?

I did have too much to drink the other night,

but I can't just pretend like nothing happened.

I still want to be your friend.

Mr. B, you're scaring me.

What do you want?

Nothing.

You're overreacting, Mr. B.

Does it need to be this serious?

If you don't want me to

go to Turkey, then forget it.

Jeez, don't even mention my husband.

Compared to you, he's a total loser.

Sitting around doing nothing.

Can't even keep a job driving trucks.

And he works for this illegal organization

who deals arms.

Even those warmongers won't have him.

All the money they asked for is to make up what he's spent.

What kidnapping?

That company can't afford to keep him anymore.

Good to know that he's alive.

Come on, let's sing and drink some more.

I'm done singing and drinking.

I think I'll just go.

Say goodbye to Mr. B.

Goodbye, Mr. B.

Let me walk you out.

Mr. B,

you are truly a nice guy.

But women never love a man

because he's nice.

I'm not.

Mr. B, I'm dangerous.

Don't fall in love with me.

I know. I know.

Maya, are you hungry?

Yeah.

Want to eat something?

Yeah.

Sweet or salty?

Sweet.

Sweet, eh?

What sweet things should we eat?

How about I make you a rice cake with ribs?

Hey, Yangyang.

Uncle.

So, you're selling juice instead of coffee now?

My friend owns this place. I'm just watching it for him for a couple of days.

She's my friend's daughter. I'm just babysitting her for the day.

Not any friend. He wants to be with my mom.

Then your mom must be a real beauty.

There are a lot of guys.

Hi, can I have a strawberry matcha?

Who's been chasing your mom?

There's this guy on her WeChat called Bigshot Lawyer.

And another one called The Great Beyond.

Have you been peeking at your mom's phone?

Nah, I saw it by accident while playing games.

Have you seen those guys then?

Nope.

You're the only one delivering yourself to our door.

So, I've only seen you.

I wasn't delivering myself.

Then what is it?

It's called visiting.

I visited your house.

How do you even know they're pursuing your mom?

They could be her friends.

What are you drinking?

Coconut.

Yangyang, get the kid a coconut.

Mr. B, I'll let you in on a secret,

but you can't tell my mom.

What secret?

My mom

is actually 44.

Then why did you say she's 38?

She told me to say that to everyone.

Go play.

Sir, what flavor would you like?

Oh, me?

Starry Oatmeal Blueberry.

Are you going back to Bai Ge's?

No.

I unfriended him.

Did he bully you or something?

He's too weak to bully anyone.

He's just such a mama's boy.

He does everything his mom tells him to.

That I can understand.

He takes after me.

He never cares enough to fight back.

So people just push him around.

It's not that he doesn't care.

He's a coward.

A wimp.

He's just so weak.

His mom still tries to set him up with girls.

He didn't even have the guts to tell her that we're together.

What do you see in him then?

If I were a woman,

I wouldn't even look at him twice.

You don't get it.

He's quite charming, actually.

But he said that

his mom doesn't like me.

How could his mom not like you?

She said you Shanghainese can't have Northern food.

Lying. She used to cheat on a Northerner herself.

So, it was you who filed for divorce?

It's all in the past.

We are still friends now.

In fact, his mom

is a good person.

She just doesn't know you that well.

Once she gets to know you

I'm sure she'll like you.

Mr. B.

I'm sorry.

She fell asleep.

Sweetie, wake up.

Put on your shoes.

She's done her homework. Just let her sleep some more.

It's okay. It's late.

Sweetheart.

Let's go upstairs

and smoke a cigarette on the balcony.

Oh.

When I saw this painting the other night

it made me sad.

Why?

When I was young

I liked this kind of stuff.

And now?

What do you think?

You can still like them now.

Alex

is leaving.

Going back to Yiwu.

Isn't he Italian?

He...

is an Italian citizen,

but his family runs a business in Yiwu.

And now he's going back

to inherit the family business.

He has a family business?

Selling fridge magnets.

So, now his room is vacant.

There's another one on the second floor, with a bathroom.

I'm thinking

maybe you guys can take it.

My house is also close to Maya's school.

You don't have to stay with your mom anymore.

And don't worry about the rent.

I didn't take any money from Alex, either.

It's no rush, just think about it.

Miss,

I'm gonna tell you something

but you can't tell my mom.

Actually, I...

I don't like girls.

Really.

My mom doesn't know.

I don't want to upset her with something like this.

That's why I came.

Yeah.

I can prove it.

Hey, check this out.

Boys don't put on makeup like he does,

with brow pencil, eyeliner, and shades.

He's even wearing lip balm.

But please don't tell his mom.

She'll go crazy if she finds out.

You two are making fun of me.

What is this?

What are you doing here?

Uncle Lao Wu invited me.

You don't have to come if you hate arranged dates.

Tell that to your ex-wife.

What am I supposed to do?

You can pay for it.

Already did.

Thanks, uncle.

You're the best.

I'm out of here.

Sure.

Bai Ge is like me when I was his age,

changing girlfriends so fast.

Like lightning.

You remember the "United Nations" of my girlfriends?

A Russian girl, a German one, and one from Croatia.

This girl

is better than Yangyang. She's dreamy.

What's wrong with Yangyang?

She's not bad.

Except she looks like a boy.

You dumbass. That's the latest trend.

Now, look around.

Is this place fantastic or what?

It belongs to my German girlfriend.

If we are to have the exhibition here

the chairs would need to be put away.

How will people eat then?

People will eat?

Of course. This is a restaurant.

How are they supposed to do business without tables and chairs?

Forget it, this won't work.

This is an authentic art party.

Right?

Invite all your friends.

We can drink while appreciating art.

Let me think.

I have to go take care of something.

Don't you walk out on me.

You are a pain in the ass.

Watch it.

Maya.

Bye, Miss.

Maya.

Maya.

Who is that? Why are you ignoring him.

That's Adam. My best friend.

You guys had a fight?

No.

What...

is this?

Mr. B, if I have Adam

but I like Dannis from the class next door,

what do you call that in Chinese?

I think it's called betrayal.

Then I think

I betrayed a friend.

Oh, no, I was wrong.

This is nothing.

See ya, uncle.

See ya.

Alex, noodles are ready.

Alright.

Nice

Mr. B.

I'm here.

What the hell are you doing?

Are you trying to piss me off?

What have you done to yourself?

You look like a wild animal.

Put it down.

It's okay.

Come here, let's wash it off.

I told you, when buying clothes

you should pick a dark color.

So when you get it dirty it won't show.

And you had to pick a white one.

Now I can't get it off. It's a mess.

It will be fine.

Let me turn it into something beautiful.

Go take a seat inside.

I'll cook.

Don't bother, Mr. B.

Picking up the kid is enough trouble for you.

We're not having dinner here.

Wait.

It'll just be a simple meal. I cook every day.

And it's not like Maya can eat that much.

She has this English class

and we're running late.

Class is more important.

I'll pack up some snacks for you then.

You don't need to. Mr. B.

It's okay. Save yourself some time.

We're leaving now.

Sorry.

Things are crazy at home lately and I couldn't find your shoes.

I'll buy you a new pair.

I'm glad you couldn't find them.

I've worn those for years and was thinking about getting rid of them.

Please, I have to make it up to you.

Listen, Mr. B.

You should learn to just let things go.

Like the Buddhist idea of giving up one's earthly possessions.

Right? Mr. B.

We're leaving. Let's go, Maya.

Her backpack.

Maya.

Go play in the yard.

Mommy will be with you in a minute.

Go.

Give up your earthly possessions.

Why?

Cause they won't work.

What do you mean?

A pair of shoes

is only supposed to be worn for a certain period of time.

The place I'm going,

these shoes won't work.

Where are you going?

Don't go if it's too challenging.

I'm not getting any younger

and retracing one's steps might not be a good idea.

I think you're still young.

And you shouldn't fill your head with crazy ideas.

These are Jimmy Choo shoes.

It's a luxury brand. I must pay for your loss.

No, Mr. B.

I bought them on Taobao, only cost me 200.

I couldn't care less.

Goodbye.

We have to leave.

Let's go, Maya.

Say goodbye to Mr. B.

About you guys moving in here...

We don't have time.

Hurry, Maya. We'll be late.

Let's get going.

Come on, go, go.

Hurry up, we're running late.

Have you eaten?

I just cooked some pork stew.

And stir-fried bamboo shoots.

I put the vegetables and shrimp in the fridge.

Keep those for yourself. Don't bring them to me

or come here taking my stuff.

Especially when I'm not home.

Don't come over and take my things.

You hear me? Beibei doesn't need them.

Who said I gave her anything?

I wanted them for myself, okay?

Then what did you do with the high-heels?

I thought she left those.

We have been divorced for years.

You can still get back together.

Impossible. Don't even think about it.

It is absolutely out of the question.

Take this card.

You can buy whatever you want.

Just don't come here and take my stuff.

Are you seeing another woman?

It's none of your business. Leave me alone.

Raising someone else's child.

She is still so little.

You don't have the energy or the money for it.

Enough with the crazy talk.

I saw it. You put clothes on her.

Does your boy know? Does Beibei?

Raising another person's kid while your own son is still a child.

So what?

I got plenty of energy.

You really are Mr. Busy for Nothing.

You know that?

Take it all away.

Wait.

Take this, too.

It's new, right?

Yeah, you can give it to whoever you want.

Idiot.

Ma'am,

will you stop taking my shampoo?

The one with English words on it is mine.

Who took your shampoo?

Keep your stuff in your own room.

My shoemaker pal.

My shoemaker pal.

Who is it? What?

You know something?

You're getting old and your vision is compromised.

You were wrong about those shoes.

The Jimmy Choo ones I showed you last time.

You said they were authentic and worth over 10,000,

while in fact they are fake. Cost about 200 on Taobao.

What are you talking about?

Breathe slowly. Come on, sit down.

Do you remember those high-heels?

Who told you they cost 200?

The lady herself.

What's the matter with her?

Who do you think I am?

I'm from a family of show makers.

Family of show makers.

You crack me up.

I'm from a family of shoemakers.

Three generations, and this is about our reputation.

Listen to me, I'm not even shitting you.

Even if I were blind,

I could still tell real shoes from fake ones.

200, what a joke.

It's over now.

Your family's reputation is effectively ruined.

Fine, I won't trust you on anything ever again.

Don't leave just yet. Come sit down.

It's not that simple.

So, did she know that

you lost her shoes?

She did.

And she told you they were from Taobao and only cost 200.

Mr. B.

Finally, you're right about something.

And I was wrong.

What do you mean?

Not about the shoes

but the woman.

She's a good one.

A keeper.

Think about it.

Why would she say they're fake if they're real?

Maybe she doesn't want to get real with you.

Impossible. I can tell when someone's faking it.

She was just sending you a signal.

She doesn't want to owe you anything.

You must have been pressuring her.

I was just...

offering her a room rent-free.

What was that?

Offering her a room rent-free.

You're doomed then.

What were you thinking?

Like what Neil Armstrong said.

That was one small step for you

but a giant leap in relationships.

I would've been terrified too if I were a woman.

I didn't even think of that.

She is living with her mother and life is a mess.

That's the problem with men. We think too little,

whereas women think too much.

Why didn't you find yourself a woman if you're such an expert.

Because I know them too well.

That's why I chose to be alone.

Have you heard that famous saying?

I have and I know.

Way to be modest, man.

Alright.

I made a deal.

Everything's taken care of.

This time you'll definitely be satisfied.

Walk around.

Have a look.

This place,

this is where all the paintings would be.

Here and here.

And also there.

You can put the paintings on this wall.

Come on, I'm telling you it's not gonna work.

Why won't it work?

You're out of your mind.

I think those two women screwed you up bad.

It was you who picked the wrong place.

How is it their fault?

It is their fault.

What's the deal with that Gloria?

A lonely old hag.

Now you can't get rid of her even if you try.

And that Ms. Li? She has seen the world.

And you know what?

Even if she ripped off all your money,

it still wouldn't be enough to get her daughter to Britain.

Yet you keep dreaming. I have no idea what's going on in that dumb head of yours.

And what's the matter with Shanghai women?

They're simply not worth it.

Will you shut up?

You know nothing about them.

What the hell are you talking about?

How many women have you been with?

You're not like me. You're too gullible.

I just didn't want to burst your bubble.

That makes two of us.

Bragging all day about how many dates you got.

Like I didn't know you made that up.

Russian chicks, German, Croatian.

Was any of that real?

You've gone insane. I'm not talking to you.

You even lied about Sophia Loren.

For years.

Who are you trying to fool? You think people are idiots?

Nobody knows who you are in Italy.

You could be sued for slander

and thrown into an Italian jail.

Always pretending to know about art.

Do you know women?

Or art?

Look at this stupid place you found.

Stupid place?

It fits your stupid paintings well.

You're blaming me because no gallery would take your art?

I never wanted to do the exhibition.

Never wanted or never dared?

You can fool others but not me.

So I'm not an artist. Nor are you a curator.

You listen to me. From now on

I'm not helping you with anything.

Like I need your help.

Take your paintings

and hang them in the Senior Citizens' Activity Center.

I can hang them in any place I want.

It's no longer my business.

Just wait and see.

Mr. B, come to Bund 18 now.

I'll pass. I'm in the middle of something.

I'm gonna kill you if you don't come.

You have to be here, I'll wait.

I'm sorry.

Mr. B.

Come.

How did you two wind up together?

What are you afraid of?

We just went to see this play.

What play? Was it good?

Nah, it's boring.

It's one of those vulgar love stories.

And they just went on and on about the same thing.

That's the problem with male writers.

To them, there are only two kinds of women.

Sluts and virgins.

One broke his heart.

The other treats him like his mom does.

Then she doesn't want anything.

And either one of these women

will end up with an average guy.

Like a woman would drop dead if she didn't get married.

And this director guy must think of himself as some kind of expert on women.

Oh, that's how you ladies think.

Well, your comment makes me

ashamed for all the male Chinese directors.

I should apologize to you on their behalf.

We are sorry.

Mr. B, if you're going to apologize

you'll be a traitor to all men.

They'll say you're not a real man.

A man's manhood is not

something he shows off in front of women.

Boy, Mr. B, are you not the confident type.

Well, I'm not that confident.

It's just that women have taught me a lot.

I can see that.

Mr. B, you must have been with plenty of women in your lifetime.

Given my age,

I'd be lying if I said no.

In fact, I just learned something the other day.

Well, one is never too old to learn.

Although there is still so much I don't understand.

But I'll take it in bit by bit.

Mr. B, what do you think of this gallery?

Ms. Li secured it for you.

Really?

They'll charge me for this place, right?

Nonsense.

It is a privilege for them to host your exhibition.

Just cut them a slice of commission for each painting sold.

The owner will discuss the terms with you later.

And I'll take care of the grand opening.

I went to many business schools, remember?

An average guy would not agree to this arrangement.

For it hurts his self-esteem.

Have you been to the Louvre?

Indeed.

Let me think about it.

What is there to think about? It's a freebie.

Why did you ask me to come in the middle of the night?

I have a date at this disco place on Donghu Street.

I need your help selecting the paintings.

For what?

Your memorial service? Don't you think it's too early?

I've found the place and the exhibition opens next week.

Who found it?

The two women you bashed.

What place? Now you know fooling around pays off, huh?

Fooling around is not bad.

So, what place exactly?

The Bund.

In the park?

An outdoor exhibition?

I asked you to help me pick paintings.

What's with all these questions?

I need to know where it's at.

I'm a professional curator.

Different locations,

lighting, or crowds call for different exhibits.

Indoor and outdoor are two completely different styles.

It's a gallery.

Bund 18.

So, it is...

a legitimate gallery.

We're gonna do some serious selecting then.

For example, this is not right for the occasion.

When are you going to the disco place?

In about 15 minutes.

I'll do a preliminary selection for you today.

Tomorrow I'll go check out this gallery then come back for the final selecting.

This is huge. Can't mess around with it.

Tomorrow night I'll have both of them over for dinner.

As a thank you.

Are you coming?

I have a date.

We'll see.

And also,

do you have a name for the exhibition?

Nope. I'm thinking, something simple.

It has to be badass.

Something ambiguous and ethereal.

Mr. Busy for Nothing.

No.

That's not badass.

Get me some water.

Okay, good, get it out.

This wasn't even cool 20 years ago.

Why are they still displaying it?

Who the heck are you?

I'm just passing by.

What do you know?

What the heck do you know?

How much art have you seen?

What?

Have you been to the Louvre?

Or the MET?

How about the Guggenheim?

There's a barrier to entry for art, you know that?

Not just anyone is qualified to be a critic.

Why are you so angry?

Did you go to college?

I'm a graduate of North Film Academy.

And then?

Then I wrote a book.

And then?

Then I sold vapes for a while.

And now?

Now I teach at an art school.

See?

It is the likes of you...

Don't get so worked up.

...that mislead the youth.

Chinese kids today have poor taste

all because of people like you.

And you have the nerve to come here talking crazy.

Just leave.

Or I'll ask you to buy a ticket.

You got it?

Who was that?

Nobody. Just an asshole.

He looks like that chef guy on YouTube.

What are you doing here?

My mom told me to.

What?

You got a smudge here.

It's my eyeliner, bro.

So, you admit you're wearing eyeliner?

Nobody can tell unless they're looking closely.

Then what's the point of wearing it?

My eyes are swollen from crying. I had to cover them.

Please, so she unfriended you.

A man shouldn't cry over something like that.

Son.

What are you doing here?

I have guests tonight.

So what?

You don't have to tell me everything.

Mr. B.

Hey, you guys are here.

Come have a few drinks tonight.

Not today. I'm no match for you.

- Bai Ge's here. - Hi, Ms. Li.

Allow me to introduce...

This is Mr. B's son.

Bai Ge.

What a fine-looking young man.

He takes after his mother. Thank God.

You guys have a seat.

Bai Ge, go bring the ladies water.

Show some hospitality to our guests.

There's something I need to tell you.

We can talk here.

You should know that

this was never my decision.

It was your mother's.

What?

She wants you to transfer ownership of this house

to your son.

What house?

This house.

That's crazy. I'm still alive.

And I'm single.

Exactly.

What if you got married?

Bullshit.

Your mom told me that

you're planning to get married.

She was so worried

that she went to the notary office several times.

That's insanity! What's wrong with her?

Bai Ge, come help me.

What does this contain?

Amidogen and soap base. Quiet.

Cut it out.

Sister, you have sensitive skin so amino acid will do.

As for makeup remover, nothing with alcohol.

But how would I know?

Just shake it.

If there's foam,

then there's no alcohol.

You know better than that cosmetics streamer.

Take a look at my face for me.

Sister, you have a combination skin type.

Combination skin?

So you should use a soap-based face wash.

And then...

Use makeup remover

with a strong emulsifier.

What emulsifier? Stop talking crazy.

Quiet.

What oily skin?

Jeez, just stop talking.

Your boy's teaching us about beauty products.

What could he possibly teach you?

One is never too old to learn. You said it.

That's right.

He puts on makeup every day, I can't even tell if he's a man.

He doesn't look like a man, you know?

Why are you so square?

In this day and age, what's wrong with men wearing makeup?

So women can use it but men can't?

You're being sexist.

I'm not sexist.

I respect women more than anything.

I just think a stupid kid like him

doesn't deserve to use women's beauty products.

Well, he's not using any.

No eye shadow or lipstick.

That's right.

So what if I put on makeup?

Don't you groom yourself, too?

Buying those sexy shorts.

Uncle A'de told me all about it.

You even gave me underwear you didn't like

and fooled me they're regular shorts.

You didn't think I'd know?

I'm an expert on beauty products.

I'm taking heat from the sissy.

You little brat.

Save your old man some face, would ya?

Say, Mr. B, we're starving.

Would you go cook now?

Don't be mad.

It's alright.

Calm down.

Why are you being so mean to our son?

He's not the one asking for the house.

I know, I know.

It's not him I'm mad at.

Rest assured.

I'll go see your mother

and talk her out of it.

It's not like you're getting married any day now, right?

What are you doing here?

You told me to come inside.

Bring this dish outside to the yard,

Makeup Expert.

It's true? Sophia Loren herself?

Don't buy any of that.

He's been telling the same story for over ten years.

Why don't you just tell people that Elizabeth Taylor

also had an affair with you?

Lao Wu is the best liar I know.

For the record,

Elizabeth Taylor, the Hollywood legend,

had no romantic relationship with me.

It has always been Sophia Loren.

The Casablanca Crossing.

The Cassandra Crossing.

What about Sophia Loren?

You mean that news that she just passed away?

I read it on social media yesterday.

Stop spreading fake news.

You guys don't know?

Sophia fainted on a film set yesterday.

Then she was rushed to a hospital but they couldn't save her.

I'm not sure if it was real.

Where did you read the fake news?

Stop spreading fake news.

Look for yourself.

Around 1989,

I was in my 20s

when I studied in France,

at École Polytechnique.

During spring break sophomore year, I visited Rome

and at some point I lost my way.

So, I just followed this path in Piazza Venezia,

which led me to an alleyway.

And that's where I saw her,

sitting there sipping coffee.

Just a small coffee house by the street.

The kind with canopies.

She looked 40-something.

I didn't know who she was back then

but I got this feeling that she was lonely.

So, I walked up to her and

I said,

"Do you know how to get

to the fountain from that Fellini film,

La Dolce Vita?"

She pulled her sunglasses down

and said she'd take me there.

I said okay.

We meandered through the streets, chatting all the way.

She said she was in a bad mood.

I asked her why.

She mumbled a bunch of things in Italian,

I didn't understand a word of it.

By the time we got to the fountain it was dark.

She said she hated "La Dolce Vita,"

and Marcello, too.

She preferred "Satyricon," another film by Fellini.

I said I never saw it.

And she was like, "Do you want to see it?"

I said yes.

So, she took me to this small hotel

but we didn't see "Satyricon."

He lost his virginity to her.

And she gave him all of Rome.

She never told me who she was and I didn't ask.

I thought she was just some married woman.

You don't go around and ask people that, right?

The next day, she took me to the Vatican.

On the third day, she told me that

she had to go to the States for work.

So, I said,

When will we meet again?

And she said,

You want to see me again? I said yeah.

And she said, "It's best that we don't see each other again,

so that you'll always remember me."

I said, "No, I won't.

I'm a playboy who dates tons of women."

And she said:

You're the first Chinese man I've ever been with.

I said, "Then you will always remember me."

And she said, "Let's wait and see."

After she left, it felt like Rome had collapsed on me.

I returned to Paris

and told my girlfriend everything.

She was a Russian girl named Natasha.

I said I made a mistake,

then she got angry and we had a fight.

She even called me a traitor to Socialism,

and she hit me.

I didn't want to fight her or argue with her

so we broke up.

What about Sophia?

When did you find out who she was?

After I broke up with Natasha,

I lost it.

I couldn't study.

Just wandering the streets, sleeping in movie theaters.

Once I woke up in the middle of the night

and saw that

it was her on the screen.

I still remember that movie.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

It was her.

It was definitely her.

Later I asked my classmates who she was.

And they told me she was this superstar.

An European treasure.

To this day, I still haven't seen "Satyricon."

I don't know why.

Do you like the story?

I made it up.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Don't drink anymore.

I'm fine.

It's fake.

What?

Keep eating. Don't stare at me.

Once I had a sweetheart

A sweetheart brave and true

His hair was dark and straight

His loving eyes were black

He told me that he loved me

And he often proved it so

And he often came to see me

When the evening sun was low

Lao Wu.

You died too soon.

It turns out that Sophia Loren

made a narrow escape from the grave

and you headed straight into it.

I know you never missed anything.

I just didn't expect that to include death.

Brother,

have one last drink.

Dearest Friend, Lao Wu

Who knew uncle Wu

was really childless?

He had no one.

Without us,

he'd be pretty lonely.

Yeah.

Why did Lao Wu pick this place a long time ago?

He always liked to be different.

What do you think?

Was that Sophia Loren story real?

No way.

He wore thick glasses from a very young age.

I think it's true.

Reality is not a Fellini film.

Alex.

I asked Beibei.

You never gave her the high-heels.

I told Bai Ge to sell them online.

Why would you give her a new pair of shoes?

Come on now.

Just get the paperwork done for the house.

Don't you give it to another woman.

You must leave it to Bai Ge.

Relax. I'm not marrying anyone.

But if Bai Ge wants a house he should buy it with his own money.

You didn't buy that house with your own money.

Your grandpa left it to you.

And the properties you did buy for yourself,

the two flats by the stairs,

Bai Ge will get all of them when I die.

Come on now.

It's bad luck talking about those things in such a place.

Are you an idiot?

Mr. B?

You were good friends with Lao Wu, right?

Here's the thing.

I represent a real estate company in Europe.

Lao Wu's house here

was permanently lent to him free of charge,

until he dies.

So, now we're taking it back.

When did this happen?

Since 1990.

Who hired you?

You can't say, right?

Yeah.

Look,

this was Lao Wu's favorite whisky.

You should keep it.

And we have some papers to sign. Thank you.

Yeah, sure.

You dropped your backpack.

Too heavy?

Mr. B.

You're wearing the new dress.

Like it?

I'm gonna paint another one.

How about I paint you a new hat?

I'm planning to have a memorial service tomorrow night.

To remember Lao Wu.

Are you coming?

Sure, I'll be there.

I'm sorry about Lao Wu.

I know.

But

I never believed his story,

it's too good to be true.

I thought the story through

and I don't buy it.

The woman wasn't Sofia.

I always knew it.

I just didn't want to burst his bubble.

You were just being a friend.

Well, I always found him annoying.

Now I'm finally at peace.

And I don't think I'll ever meet someone like him again.

Who disagrees with everything

and everyone.

Gossiping about people all day.

We used to have lots of

mutual friends

and then they all just cut him off,

not hanging with or talking to him.

I was the only one left.

Because you're his best friend.

He was my best friend.

Try not to be too sad.

It happened suddenly

but I don't think he suffered.

And I've been thinking these past two days.

I think Lao Wu

lived a fantastic life.

I can't compete with him.

His life is like a legend

and mine is like a joke.

What?

That's a good one.

Why are you always like this?

- I'm not talking to you. - Go home to your mommy, then.

I'm leaving now.

Go ahead.

Bai Ge.

Not too much.

Thank you.

It actually smells good.

You want some?

Mr. B.

You guys hungry? I'll go fetch you some snacks.

That'd be great.

What's this movie about?

I don't get it.

It makes me dizzy.

I expected it to be a lot more fun.

Kind of scary.

What does it have to do with love?

See the wrinkles underneath my eyes?

Do you understand the movie?

Me, neither.

Ancient Roman history is not exactly my strong suit.

It's about ancient Roman history?

Let's go for some coffee tomorrow afternoon.

Here, have some snacks.

Mr. B, these are peanuts from Lao Da Chang.

Wow, you can taste that?

These butterfly cookies are fantastic.

I made a special run for the cookies.

A small bakery on Tian Yue Qiao Street makes them exclusively,

and job well done.

How do you know?

I thought it was Park Hotel.

I grew up eating butterfly cookies so now I'm sick of them.

I also like Tang Gao (deep fried donut).

So, none of you are watching the movie.

Should we fast forward?

Good idea.

Man, I can't stand this film.

Can't stand it.

Mr. B's Moment

Mr. B's Moment Gloria: Satyricon is so bad, what nonsense.

I feel sorry for Lao Wu.

Beibei: I don't quite get the ending. Did the man and the woman end up together?

Yangyang: Which ones are you talking about? (Dizzy)

Bai Ge: No wonder Lao Wu didn't watch the film. He might go nuts if he did. (Broken)

Ms. Li: This movie I just saw was such a head-scratcher, but I enjoyed it.

Does that make me a masochist?

Gloria: Yes. Beibei: Yeah.

Liked by Mr. B.

Message to Ms. Li

Ms. Li: Let's go grab a cup of coffee tomorrow afternoon.

Mr. B: You like that?

Ms. Li: Yes.

Mr. B: Me? Or the film?

Ms. Li: I've always liked it, albeit not ready for a new one.

Ms. Li: I am afraid it might be another disappointment.

Mr. B: So you left halfway through.

Ms. Li: It was too fast-paced in the beginning.

Ms. Li: It was too fast-paced in the beginning. Mr. B: It's the film's fault.

Ms. Li: No, it's mine. I'm just a bad movie fan.

Ms. Li: No, it's mine. I'm just a bad movie fan. Mr. B: It's slowing down now.

Ms. Li: I was drawn to the story and found it fascinating.

Ms. Li: It doesn't matter how it ends.

Mr. B: We can rewrite the story together, so it'd end the way you like.

Ms. Li: Sure! But I like tragedies, LOL.

Mr. B: You are horrible.

Mr. B: You are

Mr. B: You are adorable.

Ms. Li: Maya asked me whether we had a fight.

Mr. B: What did you tell her?

Ms. Li: I told her to go write her homework, then she told me to control my temper.

Mr. B: Maya (Thumbs up)

Mr. B: See you tomorrow.

Ms. Li: See you.

The story is completely fictional.

Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental.