Original subtitles

Previously on Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage...

Hey, Connie.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Who calls a pay phone?

Are you selling drugs?

Don't be crazy, I'm not a drug dealer.

Okay, well, then what?

I'm a bookie.

If you need money, why don't you just go out and get a real job?

I made 700 bucks yesterday.

What did you make?

I'm not handling any money.

I just take bets for her when Dale's home.

That's still illegal.

What are you thinking? You're a mom!

Oh, come on, I supported your criminal activities.

The least you can do is support mine.

There you go.

Oh, hey, Connie.

Hey.

I just need a cup of coffee to go.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

And to see if you might be interested in a little, uh...

side work.

Are we talking bookie work?

Thank you for saying that out loud.

Sorry, I get excited.

I just need a little help with a sticky collection.

Okay, who is it?

Your dad.

That is sticky.

Oh, there you are.

Yep.

Doing my own laundry

'cause that's just the kind of husband I am.

You want me to give you a medal?

Mm, medal's a bit much, but...

there might be other stuff you could give me.

Do you ever think about anything else?

Not really.

It's impressive I get anything done.

Well, anyway,

your meemaw asked me to help her out

with a little business.

Bookie business?

Hey, be cool, okay?

We don't say it out loud.

I thought you were done with that.

I was, but...

this is a special circumstance.

What's going on?

Well, it seems my dad lost money

to her and hasn't paid her yet.

Aw, man.

I'm sorry she put you in the middle of this.

Um, actually, it's great.

What?

Yeah, I mean, he's always giving me crap

about how I am with money, and now I got him.

Honestly, this must be what heroin feels like.

Well, you're not upset your dad's gambling?

Hello, I got him.

Stay tuned for Wheel of Fortune.

I heard Vanna White was in Playboy.

Is that true?

May 1987.

How do you know that?

Because it was very tasteful.

And I was disappointed.

Hey, Grandma, how you feel

about giving this one her bath tonight?

I would love nothing more.

And no tooting in the tub.

I know your daddy thinks it's funny,

but we are ladies.

Well, this is nice, just the two of us.

Sure, I guess.

Mm-hmm, watching a little TV?

Yeah, Wheel is coming up.

Cool.

You ever gonna pay Connie the money you owe her?

What?

I know about your betting. I can't believe you...

Look.

It's not a big deal.

This was the first time.

Dad. The first time I lost.

Dad. The first time I lost this much.

I can't believe you didn't pay her.

I'm gonna.

Okay, well...

here I am, 1,200 bucks, let's go.

No, if I pay all at once, your mother will know.

So?

Try to keep up here.

I don't want her to.

Well, then you better pay.

You know I'm good for it.

I don't know a lot of things,

like I didn't know you were a deadbeat.

I ain't no deadbeat.

And this whole time you have been on me about my debt.

That ain't the same.

Agreed.

I got a closet full of purses and shoes.

You got nothing, now pay up.

Or what?

Or I'll tell Mom.

Snitch. Deadbeat.

How was your weekend?

Just swell.

Aren't you gonna ask me about mine?

I wasn't planning on it.

Saw that movie Braveheart.

For a dude in a skirt and makeup,

he's a badass.

I don't care.

What's his problem?

Oh, don't worry, it ain't you.

I'm not worried, I'm nosy.

Just leave it alone.

Nobody likes to chitchat anymore.

Got a minute?

I do not.

Mandy told me about your situation.

Well, this ain't none of your business.

Well, she's my meemaw,

so it kind of is.

I already worked this out with Mandy.

You paid up?

I made a payment. So y'all are good?

Yes.

In 23 more payments.

What's that mean?

I'm doing it a little at a time

so Audrey don't notice.

Well, do you have some kind of gambling problem?

No. Then why are you keeping things from Mrs. McAllister?

It's just one thing.

What about the trip to the riverboat casino?

That was on water.

It's different.

Mr. McAllister.

All right, look, it's just a hobby.

I'm allowed to have a hobby.

Okay, well, we're fixing up your Mustang.

Ain't that a hobby?

You're right, that solves it.

Get out.

Okay, talked to my dad.

There you go.

$50?

He owes me $1,200.

No, he owes you $1,200

minus $50.

This is just the first installment.

Okay, he's good for it.

This ain't a layaway.

He's not buying a blouse at Dillard's.

Hey, what's going on?

Well, my dad owes her.

I told you not to take money from family,

but you never listen.

Speaking of not listening, ignore him.

Look, you'll get your money.

What, I have to wait months?

She might not make it that long.

You may not make it to dinner.

Now, look.

If I let your dad slide,

I get a reputation for being soft.

All of a sudden, nobody pays up.

Well...

I can help out a little.

What you got?

$17 and...

baggie of Cheerios.

You need a little muscle?

I'm right here.

Thank you so much.

Very comforting.

Just try to avoid my naptime.

Look, can you handle this,

or do I need to get involved?

Yeah, I can handle it.

Well, good.

Would you like some cookies?

Fresh from the oven.

You're a weird grandma.

She wants all of it at once.

Why don't you let me talk to her?

I'm her favorite.

Are you?

Sheldon moved away and Missy called her a bitch last week,

so yeah.

You know, I think you might need a little backup.

What you got in mind?

Isn't this a nice surprise?

CeeCee missed her meemaw. Aw.

I missed her, too.

Aren't you the cutest thing?

Can you believe your daddy thinks I'm a complete idiot?

What are you talking about?

Oh, you've come over here to butter me up.

No.

She's here to butter you up.

She's cute, but she ain't $1,200 cute.

I'll settle it with Jim myself.

What, you gonna have his knees broken?

No. His balls.

Can you say "balls"?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Connie, how are you?

Is that so?

Well, thank you for telling me.

Oh, don't worry. One way or another, he'll pay.

Who was that?

Just someone wanting money.

Ugh, that is so annoying.

It sure is.

Did you use margarine in the mashed potatoes?

I didn't think you'd notice.

Guess I would've lost that bet.

They taste fine to me.

The hydrogenated fats and triglycerides don't bother you?

Must be nice.

Georgie, I've been meaning to ask,

how is your meemaw doing?

Oh, you know her... drinking, smoking,

hitting gophers with a golf club.

The usual.

We should ask her and Dale to come over for dinner.

Wouldn't that be nice, Jim?

Well, I don't know, drinking, smoking...

do you really want that around your children?

We are impressionable.

Don't be silly, I'm gonna give her a call.

I'll talk to her.

Thank you.

Let her know she doesn't need to bring anything.

Will do. And when she's here,

ask her not to take any more bets from my husband.

Daddy!

Cut the "Daddy" crap. I know you're in on it.

Mandy!

Nice try.

Thank you.

I can't believe you.

And I can't believe none of you told me.

I didn't know. Of course not, honey.

I still don't know. What is happening?

I should've told you.

No, you never should've been

making bets in the first place.

All right, I'll take care of it.

You've done enough. I'll take care of it.

Okay, I got it.

Dad lost all our money,

and now we have to eat margarine.

Sorry you had

to find out like that.

But he left me no choice.

Well,

he won't be doing it again.

So, you got something for me?

No, I think we're good.

You realize he still owes me a lot of money.

I do. We're not paying.

Yes, you are. He made a bet.

So did you: that he would pay.

You lost.

That ain't the way this works.

Well, sports betting is illegal in the state of Texas.

We owe you nothing.

You're really starting to piss me off.

We can always call the police and see what they have to say.

You wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't I?

I go down, I take your daughter with me.

You're bluffing.

You're bluffing.

Hey, Audrey.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

That I remembered your name.

Dale.

What brings you by?

She just came by to threaten me.

What are you doing that for?

She should never have taken a bet from my husband.

Oh, yeah, you know.

I told her, but you know this one,

she's like a dog with a bone.

Do you need to be here?

That is a good question.

Why did I come in here?

I'm leaving.

You better not do anything stupid.

Don't you tell me what to do.

I hate that woman.

Her name is Audrey.

Hi.

Your mother sucks!

You're just figuring this out?

She's threatened to call the cops.

What did you say?

I told her, if I was going down,

I was taking you with me.

Oh, my God! You're joking, right?

No. Yeah, well, no. Prob-Probably.

Connie.

I know everybody'd be a lot happier

if I was just some sweet old lady playing bingo,

tucking tissues up my sleeve.

Yeah, you do keep tissues up your sleeve.

Well, it's like an extra pocket.

Let me talk to my her, okay? I'll see what I can do.

Good. You might remind her

that when you were pregnant, I took you in.

That is true.

And I was the one who paid

all your medical bills.

Yes, you did.

And your daughter is named after me, for God's sake.

Yeah, that still pisses her off.

Good.

What's up?

Nothing.

Just here to report a crime.

Is it a murder?

'Cause your ass is killing me.

Next.

Thank you.

Can I help you?

Yes, I have some information

regarding illegal sports...

Aren't you Jim McAllister's wife?

How do you know Jim?

He sponsors our softball team. They do our tires.

Oh, right.

That means Georgie Cooper's your son-in-law.

He is.

Love that kid.

Of course you do.

And his grandma, what a character.

You know Connie?

Yep, I arrested her once,

now we go mall-walking on the weekends.

So, what you got for me?

I go down, I take your daughter with me!

You know what? I just, I'm gonna...

I'm just gonna...

Shake that thing.

Where you been?

Police station.

What? Why?

Relax, I didn't turn anybody in.

Don't take this out on Connie. This is my fault.

I know it's your fault.

I mean, it's a little her fault.

Why are you hiding things from me?

'Cause I like placing a bet from time to time.

You okay with that?

No. I think it's a stupid waste of money.

And I didn't want to upset you.

That's love.

The next time you lie to me

is gonna be the last time you lie to me.

There ain't gonna be a next time.

I hope not.

I mean it, I don't want to get divorced.

Oh, honey.

I would never let you off that easy.

You finish the brakes on the Saturn?

Yeah, all done.

Who's playing?

'Stros, Cards.

Ah, should be a good one.

Just starting.

Want to make it interesting?

The next time you lie to me

is gonna be the last time you lie to me.

Nope.

I find the game interesting enough as it is.

Come on, ten bucks.

Georgie!

Yes, sir.

Bet Ruben ten bucks on the game.

Why?

'Cause I can't.

And you're just gonna watch?

Yeah. When he was on a diet,

he'd watch me eat doughnuts.

And that wasn't weird?

No. It was weird.

I'm going back to work.

How come you can't bet anymore?

I don't want to talk about it. How much you lose?

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh... That much, huh?

Oh, come on, cheer up. You want me to eat a doughnut?

Hey, where you been?

Just taking care of my family.

What are you talking about?

Well, I know how mad everyone's been,

so I went ahead and paid Meemaw.

What?

Oh, it's okay.

Y'all have done so much for me, Mandy and CeeCee.

No thanks necessary.

You paid my debt?

After I said not to? With our money?

Yes, yes, also yes.

You had no right to do that.

I was helping!

By humiliating me?

I told that woman she wasn't getting any of our money.

It wasn't from you.

This is none of your business.

Where did you get that kind of money from?

Well, I had a little stashed away.

Stashed away from me?

Unbelievable.

Oh, come on. I fixed it!

Screw y'all. I'm the hero!

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