Original subtitles

[Dave] Yo! Dave Franco here.

Hi! I'm a little fucked up

but I'm gonna do my best to recap the last episode

because a lot of shit's gone down.

So the gang is pumped to be in Vegas for CinemaCon,

which is like a-a-a big convention

where the studios present their movies and shit, when suddenly

Griffin tells Matt that Continental is gonna be bought by fucking Amazon

and they're gonna lose their jobs, man.

But if they fucking crush the presentation

they can stop the sale and save their jobs.

Matt throws a wicked party

where Zoë Kravitz and the gang do way too many shrooms,

especially Griffin who's so fucked up it's fucking scary, man.

So they got to sober him up before the presentation

but they lose his ass at the casino.

And if anyone finds him all fucked up,

especially entertainment journalist Matt Belloni,

they'll be fucking fucked.

Patty ends up finding him.

B-B-But she doesn't know about the sale to Amazon

so she calls Belloni to come see Griffin all messed up

so she can get revenge on him for firing her.

Now, listen, I gotta hit the tables and win tons of fucking money

'cause I can count cards and shit from those magic movies I was in.

So enjoy the fucking episode! Vegas, baby!

[Griffin grunting]

- [vocalizing] - [Patty] Ooh! Aren't we sexy?

- Look over here. Play to camera. - Wow.

- Look at you. You're kinda hot. - [Patty] Hi.

- Patty, meet Aphrodite. Aphrodite, Patty. - Yeah.

Get to know each other. Maybe we could do a threesome.

- [Patty laughs] Could do. - [laughs]

Wouldn't you like that?

- Foreplay! Yeah! - Foreplay. Don't forget the foreplay.

- [Griffin groans] - [Matt] Hey!

- Patty, have you seen Griffin? - Hi.

- [Sal] Oh! - [Maya] Oh, my God.

- [all clamoring] - [Matt] He's fucking eating her out!

- Jesus! Get him out of there. - [Sal] Shit!

No! Leave him in there!

- Um, girl, what? - Patty, are you insane?

We need him in there for the presentation.

Don't touch him! Belloni's on his way here.

Belloni? But I just got rid of that guy. Why is he coming here now?

What are you doing, Patty?

- Get him the fuck down from there! - Help me!

- Help us! - [Maya] Okay. You stay dry.

- Fuck, Patty, why did you do this? - We don't need him.

Look at him. He looks like my niece at Coachella,

but he's the devil.

He fired me and he ruined my life.

I thought you said you were happier.

I am. But that doesn't mean he didn't try to ruin my life.

Look, Patty.

If Belloni sees this, we are fucked.

You don't understand! They are trying to sell Continental to Amazon.

- [clamoring, screaming] - Sell Continental?

Yes.

- To Amazon? - Yes!

- They're gonna MGM us? - Yes!

So all of Continental will become a branch of a tech company?

Exactly. Exactly!

That's why me and Griffin and everyone have been freaking out so much.

If this presentation doesn't go perfectly and we don't project anything

other than the best fathomable predictions for next year,

I will be the last studio head in the history of Continental.

- I didn't know that. I wanted... - [panting]

- Matty, I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I'm sorry.

You know I love you way more than I can ever hate Griffin.

You heard Matty! Get him the fuck outta there!

We're trying!

- [Quinn] Is he breathing? - [Sal] He's kinda breathing.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

If we don't get outta this CinemaCon without killing somebody,

it's gonna be a fucking miracle.

We gotta get him back to the room and get him ready.

[all] How?

That hotel is filled with people who want us to fucking fail.

What are we gonna do? Carry him around like a fucking corpse?

Yes! Like a corpse!

We Weekend at Bernie's him.

It's a terrible movie, but the conceit is genius.

- Fuck my tits. That's fire! - Yeah!

Wait. That actually is a really good idea.

You're not seriously considering

we puppet his limp carcass across a casino floor?

Time for some movie magic.

- [Sal] Yeah. - [Quinn] Fuck yes.

[Sal] Bro, you gotta walk faster.

I'm walking as fast as I possibly can right now.

Okay, I'm gonna go to his room. I'm gonna get his bag.

- Great. Meet us in the suite. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm so high. I can't believe we're doing this.

- Party people! [shouts, laughs] - Hey, Davey!

Hey, what's up? You-You still going strong, man?

- Fuck yeah, bitch! - Great!

I just won, like, 50K at poker.

I took it off these dudes who were so pissed.

- Awesome. Great. - That's them! These are the guys!

- [Sal] Oh, no. - You see how sad they looked?

- Yeah, they looked mad. - I'm sorry.

- All right. I'm gonna smoke a jay... - [Matt] Nice.

...and I'll see you at the presentation.

Also, whoever that dude is, he looks straight-up dead!

[Sal, Matt] Fuck!

- [Matt] Shit! Keep going. - [Sal] He keeps touching my fucking ear.

- Matt, Matt, Matt effing Belloni. - Oh, my God. Help us.

- [Sal] Oh, no, no, no. - Help us, Patty. Patty, help us.

- [Belloni] Hey, guys. - Hi.

- Hey! - Patty, how are you?

Oh, Matt Belloni! Hollywood's trusted teller of truths.

Speaking of truths, got any news for me?

Uh, got to be a back out there in need of a stabbing.

Ooh, you're wicked.

No, just your average uneventful CinemaCon.

- [Matt] Yeah. - [all laugh]

Actually, now that I've got you,

I'm hearing some rumblings about a possible sale of Continental.

- Mm-mmm. No. - Seriously, you believe that?

That's just other studios planting stories

to distract from Matt's forthcoming triumph.

- Right, Matty? - Got a big year coming up, you know.

- [groaning] - [Sal laughs]

That is my uncle Ronaldo Saperstein.

- Yeah. - He owns three theaters in Long Island.

And he's really drunk 'cause he lost at craps.

- Yeah. - Oh, I hear you, Ronaldo.

Blackjack cleaned me out too.

- [Matt] Yeah. All right. - [Sal] Belloni, you're number one.

We'll see you at the... See you later! See you in the hall.

Good luck with the presentation.

Can't wait to see what Griffin Mill does up there.

- He's gonna... he's gonna kill it! - Okay, bye.

What happened? He looks terrible.

Yeah, no fucking shit.

How are things going with Zoë Kravitz?

She's been in with hair and makeup,

but she's still super high and acting strangely.

- [Griffin groaning] - Great.

We gotta focus on this guy for now.

- Hi, sir. Can I get you water? - Hey, hey, hey.

- Coffee? Anything? - I sort of... Uh... I'll just... [stammers]

- I don't know what he's saying. - He's too fucked up to make any sense.

Open the bathroom doors. We gotta clean him off.

Get him changed and shit. This guy's gotta be on stage soon.

[Sal] Ah, he stinks, man.

[Matt] Oh, God Almighty. Here.

- Get him in here. - I'll try.

- [Griffin] Here we... here we go. - [Sal groans] Yeah. Yeah.

Great. Quick. Wash him off.

- [overlapping chatter] - Take... Undress him.

- [Sal] I'm trying. - Get him undressed.

[sighs]

- I got his bag. Here we go. - [Matt] Fantastic.

[panting]

Yo! Sal, we got his clothes.

You got a fresh turtleneck?

- Yeah, we got a... There's a... - Yeah. Got it.

- ...there's a fucking... What is this? - What is that?

- It's a dickey or some shit. - It looks like a bra.

- Okay. What else do we need? - Clean underwear.

- [Maya] Okay. That's debatable. - Ugh.

- Why did you smell it? - [Quinn] It was instinctual.

- S-Sal, are you okay in there? - No, I'm not, Patty.

I'm having to stuff my boss's dick inside his Speedo,

and it's taking forever 'cause it's freaking huge.

- Of course it is. - I knew he had a big dick.

He walks like that.

- [Sal] He's good. We're coming. - Okay.

- [Maya] Here he comes. - And one, two, three.

[all clamoring, cheering]

[Sal] Clap for him.

[Maya] Wow. Look at him.

[Quinn] Beautiful.

- His legs are kinda wonky. - Get him to the couch.

- Get him over to the couch. - Please cover his nipples.

[Quinn] Is that a waist trainer?

[Matt] Aw, you look very good. Very good. You're a big boy.

[Maya] I like your little strut.

- Get him on the couch. - Oh, there we go.

- Get his pants on. Pants on. - [Maya] Please!

Yes. Okay. Tuck those nipples in. Okay.

Okay, you guys seem like you have this under control.

We're gonna go check on Zoë Kravitz in here.

Matty, you gotta pull the rip cord on this madness.

- I cannot pull the rip cord. No. - You're not putting him on stage.

It's too late. We announced him. We can't show signs of weakness. We can't!

We're doubling down.

[pants] I don't wanna open this door.

No. 'Cause look, it's... [stammers] Is... Matt, is this high?

- What is going on in here? - She won't come down.

She says it's too high.

It's so far away. They won't show me.

I don't know what to tell you, Zoë. It's not that high!

Can you show me?

- Because this is crazy. - Oh, for the love of God.

Zoë, darling.

- Zo Zo, can you see this shoe? - Yes, wow. Yes.

Well, that nightstand is only four shoes high.

Four shoes high?

[laughing] What are you even saying?

All right. You guys seem to have this under control.

I'll leave you at it.

Let me know when you've figured all that out.

- Maya. Hey, what's happening? - [panting]

- You're so fucking hot right now. - [panting] Oh.

[both moaning]

[Sal] Oh, come on.

I thought you guys didn't do this shit anymore.

- We don't. We're not doing anything. - Ugh, you perv.

She's off the nightstand, but now she's under the bed.

But they think they can finish her under there.

Great. Fantastic. Perfect. I'll fucking take it.

We got his pants on but he is passed out again.

- Which is bad. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Get that stench out. The lips... - Holy shit.

Oh, fuck. We gotta sober him up somehow.

Oh, oh, oh, oh! Cocaine up his nose.

- Does that actually work? - Oh, it worked in the movie Flight.

Where Denzel Washington did all that cocaine

and then he testified in front of the FAA!

Are we gonna Flight his ass right into the presentation?

- This will work! - Yes!

Yes, whatever. Just don't Old Yeller him.

Okay. First of all, cover that nipple 'cause I've really had enough of it.

I need his mouth closed, otherwise he'll blow.

- You ready? One, two... - [Maya] Ooh! Shove it up there!

- [Matt] Shove it in there, baby. - [Griffin sniffing]

- [Maya] Oh, oh, oh! [gasps] - [breathes deeply]

[panting] Matthew.

- Yeah! - The presentation?

- [Quinn chuckles] - How did it go?

It hasn't happened yet, but it's about to, sir!

- Let's do this! - [all cheering, clamoring]

- Oh, yeah! - [Matt] The engines are revving, sir.

Hey, look!

May I present CIA assassin, vampire killer, queen of the night...

- Queen of the night. - ...Agent Blackwing.

[cheering]

[Maya] Yeah! Queen!

I am Blackwing.

Yes, you are.

I'm Blackwing?

- Yes. - Then where's Zoë?

You're also Zoë.

Where's Zoë?

[overlapping chatter, clamoring]

- [Tyler] Look alive, people. - [screaming]

The presentation starts in... What the fuck is going on here?

- Where's Zoë? - [clamoring]

Oh, no.

Ooh. Okay, Zoë.

- Do you want water or something? - "Do you want water or something?"

- That's what I'm asking you. - "That's what I'm asking you."

- Why's everybody on drugs but me? - "Why is everybody on drugs but me?"

- Grab her some water, man. - We've got this. We've fucking got this.

- It's too quiet though. Cue the intro. - [grunts] Start the intro music.

- Ah! Nick Stoller in the house. - Whoo!

Hey, guys. I tweaked some lines for the Kool-Aid presentation.

I wanted to... Uh, whoa. Is Griffin okay?

Yeah, he's good. Look at him. He's doing fantastic.

Are... Oh, sh... Are you guys okay?

- We all have food poisoning. It's fine. - We're good.

Stoller, why don't you go wait offstage over there

and I'll cue you when it's time. Okay?

I think I'm gonna take a step back and maybe not do this presentation.

Let me tell you something right fucking now.

You walk and I swear on my fucking balls

Kool-Aid 2 will be directed by motherfucking Shawn Levy.

Uh, sorry. Just tell me when you need me.

- Attaboy. - Cool.

Okay. Where's Davey Franco?

- He's on right now. He's on right now! - Davey?

- What's up? - Fuck, man. Are you okay?

- No. - Fuck. What happened, man?

Dude, those dudes I took all that money off of, they beat the shit out of me.

Why?

'Cause they thought I was cheating with fucking magic.

- Were you? - Oh, yeah!

Jesus.

What the fuck are we gonna do right now?

What? [chuckles] I got this. Roll the music.

You know, I'm-I'm not a producer on Alphabet City,

but just as a human, I think we should stop this.

Honey, you need to just go to an urgent care. Okay? We got it.

- He's bleeding from the side of his head. - I said I got this. Roll the music.

- Roll the music! We have no choice. - Okay. Fuck me.

Just fucking roll it. We got... We gotta go. You good?

- Oh, too good, baby. - You got this? Okay.

- Looking forward to see what you do. - [Dave exhaling sharply]

[audience cheering, whistling]

I'm Jimmy DeFelippe.

Yeah, I've been through some stuff.

Nothing I can't handle.

You can shoot me, you can stab me, you can beat the living crap out of me.

I keep coming back for more 'cause I got a job to do.

I run rackets in New York City.

Not the whole city.

Other families, they got their own turf.

Me and my crew,

we run a part of town where you better mind your p's and your q's.

We run Alphabet City!

[audience cheering]

["Baby I've Got It" playing on speakers]

Holy fucking shit. Dude, you did it! That was amazing!

- How did you do that? That was... - I need an ambulance.

- Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God Almighty. - Oh, oh, oh.

- Take him. Take him. - Oh, Tyler. Tyler, get him help.

- Help him. - [Tyler] I'm not the goddamn help.

- Zoë, honey. Okay. - [Dave shrieks] My spleen!

- You're on in one minute. - "You're on in one minute."

- [Mitch] Zoë. - "You're on in one minute."

- Break a leg, love. - "Zoë. Break a leg, love."

[both] Zoë, the press is insane. This is gonna be great.

You just gotta go out there and read the teleprompter

for 20 seconds then we're home free.

We don't have to do that anymore because it doesn't matter.

- It does very much matter. - [Maya] It matters.

No. Nothing... It doesn't matter. We're skin sausages.

No, it's okay. It's okay. We're skin sausages.

- Zoë, do you feel okay? - Skin sausages. "You feel okay?"

- What is wrong with you? - "What is wrong with you?"

- What the fuck is going on here? - "What the fuck is going on?"

- [Maya] Oh, God. - She's fine.

- She's experiencing ego death. - She's fucking what?

- What the fuck did you do to my client? - Okay, okay.

- This is gonna sound worse than it is... - "It is."

- ...but I accidentally drugged her. - "Drugged her."

- With what? - It was an old-school Hollywood buffet.

- Exactly. That is a thing. - That's a thing? That's not a thing.

- Oh, it's a thing. - Look, it's just shrooms, okay?

Which she's done many times.

- Just not this many before. - "Just shrooms."

- This is the final fucking straw! - Final fucking straw!

There's no way she's going out there high.

Okay, it's time to roll the Black... the Blackwing presentation.

- We gotta do it right now. - But put Silver Lake first.

- [sighs] Fine. - Patty,

can you get out there and just stretch a little bit? Please vamp.

I on... I only work with teleprompters.

Look. I just really need you to get out there

and-and stretch the time out a little bit. Please help me.

- Help me. - [Maya] Help him.

- Yes. Yes. - Great, thank you.

- You've got it, you badass bitch! - You got this.

- You're great on your feet, just riff. - Go fucking take it.

- Take it. It's yours. - You know, vamp.

- You got it. You got it. You got this. - [Patty clears throat]

- Thank you, Patty. - [audience cheering, whistling]

Oh. [chuckles]

Hello, CinemaCon. [exhales sharply]

My name is Patty Leigh and I am a proud lover of movie theaters!

- [audience cheering] - Oh, yeah.

No matter how many movies you've seen, you never forget that first one, do you?

Oh, no. I remember mine. My first movie was...

well, I know it was the... it was the one that made me wanna make movies, okay?

I was... I was just seven or eight,

and my mother was having one of her spells.

Wow. She could cry.

And my father grabbed my little brother and me and said...

[through clenched teeth] ..."Let's get the hell out of this house."

And within an hour, we were sitting in this magic building,

looking up at that gigantic, gorgeous face of...

You know who I mean. I th... I believe it was her first movie.

- [audience member] Mary Pickford. - What? Mary Pickford?

How old would that make me? I just...

- Please, I... - Here's the deal.

You are one of the biggest stars on the planet.

Your name is Zoë Kravitz.

You are gonna walk out on that stage and read the teleprompter

with the grace and ferocity of a goddamn fucking lion!

- [Gabby roars] - [Matt, Zoë] You are Zoë Kravitz!

- [Matt] We need more time. - We gotta go! We gotta go!

We need a second!

But I'm not sure it was a children's movie.

There was an awful lot of drinking in the movie.

Okay, okay.

You guys, we gotta... She can't do this. I can't watch her anymore.

We gotta... We gotta run. We gotta... Okay.

Please get the teleprompter going for Silver Lake.

- Fine. Just... - Yes, Silver Lake.

Finally, the tele-fucking-prompter. Thank you. Okay. Here we go.

- This is a sure thing. - [audience applauds]

The year is 1968, Los Angeles.

The country is changing, but not fast enough.

Two women are drawn to each other while society attempts to pull them apart.

I proudly present, for your first look,

Sarah Polley's elegant The Silver Lake.

[audience cheering]

Remick. Remick. Lee Remick!

Days of Wine and... Thank you.

- Thank you. You nailed it, Patty. - Keep it rolling. We gotta go.

We're firing up the Blackwing trailer now.

Fire up whatever the fuck you want.

I am taking my client back to her hotel room.

- End of story. - No. Look, I told Zoë

that she does not have to do anything that she doesn't wanna do

and she is excited about doing this briefing.

- She is. You gotta show up. - You're a manipulative prick.

- Where is Zoë? - She's fine. She's around here somewhere.

- Where is she? Where the fuck is she now? - It's fine. Zoë? Zoë! Zoë?

- Zoë? - Holy shit.

She hunts vampires by night.

A ruthless killer with a lust for justice

and the CIA's most secretive and deadly weapon.

An assassin who works in the shadows to keep the torch of freedom lit.

The one thing the kings of the underworld fear most

is the queen of the night...

- Blackwing! - [audience cheering]

I'm Zoë Kravitz,

and I'm thrilled to be bringing the iconic role of Blackwing to life

from the pages of the best-selling book series to your cinemas!

[audience cheering]

But as excited as I know you all are about Blackwing,

it's time for the main event.

Here to talk about Continental's tentpole film of 2026

is the auteur-director behind Kool-Aid, Nick Stoller!

[funky music playing on speakers]

Hello, everyone.

I'm writer-director Nick Stoller...

- [all clamoring] - Thank you, guys.

- [whispers] I'm going pee-pee. - [Mitch] I'm sorry?

- [Sal] That's fucking disgusting. - [Maya] Oh, no.

[Matt] All right. Uh, you guys got this.

- [Maya] That's on you. - Good job.

[softly] All right, Mr. Mill. We are on the homestretch now.

All you gotta do is walk out to that stage and read that teleprompter

- and we are good. Okay? - Oh, I'm so ready, Matthew! [chuckles]

- Great! - [Sal chuckling] Yeah, baby!

- Oh, goddamn it! - Oh, no, shit!

- My legs are assholes! - [Patty sighs]

I'm sorry, Matthew.

What about more cocaine?

- That could help. - No!

Let's just wheel him out there.

That will pose a lot of questions we don't have the answers to.

Okay. I know what to do with Griffin. Okay?

You get on stage. I've got you.

- Just go out there. - [Sal] Matt, you got it.

You got it. We'll cover you.

- We believe in you, Matt. Go! - Yes, we all believe in you.

You can do it.

You're a Black Jewish queen. You're Zoë Kravitz.

- [Maya] Okay, okay. Oh, my God. - Yuck.

Matty, have I told you what a great studio head you've become?

- No. - Well, I just did.

- [whispers] Go kill 'em. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - [Nick] ...becomes their only hope

and she'll show the audience that

she isn't just capable of breaking through walls,

she can break through ceilings!

- [upbeat music playing on speakers] - [audience cheering]

[Matt] Great job.

Nick Stoller, everybody!

[music fades]

As you've just seen,

Continental Studios has one of the strongest slates of the entire year.

Between our prestige films, our newest action franchise,

and our family summer tentpole,

we have something this year in theaters for absolutely everybody.

- [audience cheering] - [sighs]

Look, I know we're, uh... [chuckles]

...technically here to celebrate the movies, but, um,

the truth is, there is no movies without,

you know, the people who make them.

A-And that's why I...

I just wanna take a moment to talk about my friends.

You know what, why don't you guys come out here?

Quinn, Patty, Maya, Sal, Tyler, Petra. All of you, get out here, guys.

- [audience cheering] - [Matt] Get out here.

[chuckles]

Let's hear it for them.

- [cheering continues] - These guys are the best.

Honestly. I used to think this studio

was the absolute most important thing in my entire life.

But you all are the absolute most important things in my entire life.

All of you are. Okay? And I love you.

- I love you all. Thank you. - [audience cheering]

- Thank you. Thank you for everything. - You're welcome.

Okay? Thank you.

- Oh. Okay. - [Quinn] Oh, wow.

Thank you, Patty. Thank you for everything.

Tyler, you rule. You're the man.

I don't say enough nice things to you, Petra. You're great.

All right.

And with that... [chuckles]

...please join me in welcoming...

- [drumroll playing] - ...Comworld CEO and our fearless leader,

Griffin Mill!

[audience cheering]

- Holy shit! - [Sal] Oh, my God!

- [Griffin shouts] - [all clamoring]

- [Matt] Oh, fucking shit! - [audience gasping, clamoring]

- Oh, shit! Shit. - [groans]

- [laughs] - [Maya, softly] Patty.

Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. It's awful. [cackling]

- [cord whirs] - Oh, wow.

- [audience gasping] - Griffin Mill, everybody!

[audience cheering]

What a trouper. Am I right? [chuckles]

- [pants] - [cheering stops]

Movies...

[stammers, groans]

Movies...

[stammers]

[sighs]

[whispers] Are...

Movies...

Movies!

[audience] Movies!

[both] Movies!

[audience] Movies!

[executives] Movies!

[all chanting] Movies! Movies! Movies!

Movies! Movies! Movies! Movies! Movies!

- Movies! Movies... - [audience cheering, clapping along]

Movies! Movies...

["There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" playing]

[chanting continues]

Yeah!

[music continues]