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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:02,770
We're on a break, it's fine.
2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,772
Mmm.
Besides I'm not talking
about this with you.
3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,973
Why?
4
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,275
Because you're my ex-wife.
5
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,077
I'm also your friend.
6
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,079
You're not my friend.
7
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,646
Yeah, Christine,
she was home.
8
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,649
She was home cooking
another man dinner.
9
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,518
By the phone?
10
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,852
Damn it!
11
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,121
Why did I listen
to you?
12
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,455
We're not on a break.
13
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,556
We're broken up.
14
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:23,857
Richard...
15
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,093
buddy...
16
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,229
what can I do
to make you feel better?
17
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,832
Want to make me
feel better?
18
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,534
I do.
What do you want, pal?
19
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,170
I want sex.
20
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,839
With who?
21
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,508
You, pal.
22
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,880
So, anything interesting
happening at school today?
23
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,349
We're going to look at slides
of skin cells
24
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,550
under a real microscope.
25
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,385
What are you doing
at med school?
26
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,921
Oh, me and my lab partner,
Larry, are building a ramp,
27
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,556
we're going to jump my bike
over it.
28
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,893
Hey, sweetie pie, daddy's going
to be here any second.
29
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,095
Go get your stuff ready, okay?
30
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,430
Okay, Mom.
Okay.
31
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,465
Mmm, ga...
what are you guys eating?
32
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:05,366
(sniffing)
33
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,700
Ooh, that smells disgusting.
34
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:07,968
It's eggs. You want some?
35
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,138
Yeah, a little.
36
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,905
Hey.
Hey.
37
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,006
Hey, can you
pick up Ritchie
38
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,508
after school today?
39
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,777
New Christine called and
she wants to come over to talk.
40
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,279
Oh, yeah?
You think you guys are going
41
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,313
to get back together?
42
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,648
I don't know.
I hope so.
43
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,616
I hate being broken up.
It's so sad and lonely.
44
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,186
I feel like such a loser.
I don't know how you do it.
45
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,920
Just takes a little courage.
46
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:30,124
Oh, by the way, Matthew...
we're out of courage.
47
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,526
Hey, Dad.
48
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,128
Hey, there he is.
You ready for school?
49
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,564
Yeah. We're gonna look at
skin cells under a microscope.
50
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,300
At my job, we hid a bunch of
barbeque ribs in the wall,
51
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,868
we're going to freak out
the electrician.
52
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,035
Cool.
53
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,171
Come on.
54
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,605
Hey, good luck
with New Christine.
55
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,106
Bye, lovey-dovey.
Bye, Mom.
56
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,409
(clears throat)
57
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,144
So, what's the deal
with you and Richard?
58
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,412
What deal? We're fine.
59
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,113
You slept together a week ago.
60
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,248
So?
61
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,649
So, it should be awkward.
62
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,751
You should be stuttering
and sweating
63
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,353
and avoiding eye contact.
64
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,921
Why? It's just sex.
65
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,390
You're in, you're out.
66
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,392
It's a simple transaction.
67
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,394
God, it's like
you're buying a sofa.
68
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,062
A filthy, used sofa.
69
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,365
It, you know what, it doesn't
count with me and Richard,
70
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,766
'cause we were married,
71
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,303
and we weren't involved with
anyone else at the time.
72
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,737
It's a victimless crime.
73
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:17,905
No consequences.
74
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,740
No, sex always has consequences.
75
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,410
Either someone falls in love,
or someone gets hurt,
76
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,777
or someone convinces themself
77
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,613
there was more there
than there really was.
78
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,448
Oh, she didn't call
you yet, huh?
79
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,484
No! And I left her
like a thousand messages.
80
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,320
Can you get these
dishes away?
81
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,455
This... oh, God,
this stuff stinks.
82
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,324
What's going on
with you, huh?
I don't know.
83
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,459
My sense of smell is really
heightened lately.
84
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,329
I haven't been this sensitive
since I was pregnant.
85
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:44,898
Consequences?
86
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,236
You've got to be freakin'
kidding me.
87
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,310
I cannot be pregnant.
88
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,678
I'm only two pounds away
89
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,248
from losing the baby-weight
from Ritchie.
90
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,450
I need one of those
early detection tests.
91
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,751
Do you see one
of those?
92
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,354
Well, I'm seeing a whole lot
of creams
93
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,823
and... hey, look,
a douche bag's a real thing.
94
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,163
No, I need one of
those tests you can take
95
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,465
before you missed your period.
96
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,066
Wait, you're not even late?
97
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,368
What are we doing here?
98
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,436
And how did my calendar get off?
99
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,405
I don't have
to be late, okay?
100
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,774
I know my body and
it's telling me I'm pregnant:
101
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,942
I'm sensitive to smells,
I'm exhausted,
102
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,813
and do you have any idea
what my boobs feel like?
103
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,815
I wish I could say no.
104
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,087
Hey, I got your message.
105
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,322
Came as soon as I could.
106
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,456
What?
I didn't call you.
107
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,124
I did. I'm sorry.
108
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,693
I need a break.
109
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,395
I mean, I've been there for you
through your divorce,
110
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,962
two juice fasts, "The Cleanse",
111
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,265
the week when you thought
Jon Stewart was calling you
112
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,233
and hanging up.
113
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,636
Hey, it said "private caller,"
114
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,640
and he's a very private man.
115
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,241
It's time to pass the torch.
116
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,243
So what's the problem?
She thinks
she's pregnant.
117
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,412
Her symptoms include:
118
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,779
general swelling, fatigue,
119
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,048
nausea, heightened sense
of smell.
120
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,182
Tell her about my nipples.
121
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,518
And if you need me,
122
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,053
I'll be in the assisted
suicide aisle.
123
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,756
Oh, God, Barb, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
124
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,558
I didn't plan on having
another baby.
125
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,627
I was finally getting
my life back.
126
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,928
Were you?
127
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,600
No.
128
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,235
Look, before you go crazy,
129
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,170
why don't you take a test and
find out if you're pregnant?
130
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,439
No, I can't take it yet.
131
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,740
Even with these
early detection tests,
132
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,375
you have to wait
a couple of days.
133
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,543
And I just hate not knowing.
134
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,977
I'm going to have to tell
Richard.
135
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,012
Why don't you wait
until you know for sure?
136
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,381
Because this is torture.
137
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,783
Why does he get to go all about
his dopey way,
138
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:45,185
all satisfied and relaxed
while I'm miserable,
139
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,020
and flatulent and sober?
140
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,024
And plus, you might be pregnant.
141
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,261
I don't see anything
under that name.
142
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,797
Are you sure your doctor didn't
send it to another pharmacy?
143
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:57,865
Yes, I'm sure.
144
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,967
I've been coming here
since I was like 11.
145
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,103
Where's the little Chinese guy
who usually works here?
146
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,738
Hey, Phon?
147
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:05,739
Phon?
148
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,840
His name is John.
149
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,409
And he's on break.
150
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,478
Well, find him.
151
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,882
It's my anti-anxiety
medication.
152
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,418
You don't say.
153
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,886
Oh, great.
154
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,153
Oh, look who's here.
155
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,288
Oh, good,
you work here now.
156
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,023
Could you find Phon?
157
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,562
Wait, what is that?
158
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,963
That's not a pregnancy test?
Are you pregnant?
159
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:30,798
Oh, well, I...
160
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:31,865
Of course
she's not pregnant.
161
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:32,933
That's impossible.
162
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,568
No, remember that
woman on Oprah
163
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,336
who gave birth to those
twins when she was 60?
164
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,905
And I got a Google Alert
165
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,240
about a parrot who
gave birth at 90.
No. Really?
166
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,274
Well, actually,
167
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,176
the pregnancy test is
for me.
168
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:44,512
I don't know
how it happened.
169
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,346
I was messing around
with some married guy
170
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:49,349
in this nice
neighborhood...
171
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,552
Where do you live again?
172
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,490
Vista Heights.
173
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,991
Vista Heights.
Yeah.
174
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,394
Mmm, Vista Heights.
Yeah, that was it.
175
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,695
And the strangest thing,
176
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,130
there was a picture
of some chick,
177
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,998
looked just like...
178
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,467
you.
179
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:09,302
No, wait, um,
maybe it was you.
180
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,238
Hmm. Oh, well.
181
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,740
Wish me luck.
182
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,110
Yeah, okay,
good luck.
Good luck.
183
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,413
Thank you.
184
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,448
Thank you
for that.
185
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,783
My pleasure.
186
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,155
I can't believe
this is happening.
187
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,690
I missed you so much.
188
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,725
Being apart from you
made me realize
189
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,594
I don't care if you're not ready
to get married.
190
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,362
I just want to be with you.
191
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:36,697
Everything else can wait.
192
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,198
I hate being away from you.
193
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,199
Me, too.
194
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,267
It's awful out there.
195
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,569
Dating is a nightmare.
196
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,039
Dating?
Y-You were dating?
197
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,274
Yeah, I told you that.
198
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,076
You said one date.
199
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,611
I don't think so.
200
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,346
So what do you want to do
to celebrate?
201
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,414
Should we go out to dinner?
202
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,183
Sure. Anything.
203
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,152
So, how many dates?
204
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,888
Like, two?
205
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,690
Well, two and
a three-day weekend.
206
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,057
Which I guess is five.
207
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,694
Or three, if you count
the weekend as one.
208
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,732
There was a weekend?
209
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,967
Well, it turned into a weekend.
210
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,470
Sweetie, it doesn't matter.
211
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,472
I'm here, with you, right now.
212
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,245
You're right.
213
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,114
That's all that matters.
214
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,151
Oh, my God, Ron,
we're back together.
215
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,321
What?!
216
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,824
I'm going to get
some champagne.
217
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,093
Ron?
218
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,695
(knocking on door)
219
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,667
Okay, Richard.
220
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:47,901
We've got to talk.
221
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,469
Now, I have something
to tell you
222
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,971
and you're probably going
to freak out
223
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,440
but I just want you to listen
before you say anything
224
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:54,875
because this is huge.
225
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,577
Who's Ron?
226
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,211
Okay, so, this morning,
227
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,681
I was feeling a little weird,
I went to the drug store...
228
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,115
Oh, look who it is.
229
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,284
Richard.
230
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,418
What?
231
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,020
You called me Ron.
232
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,889
I don't think so.
233
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,992
Hi, Christine.
Hi.
234
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,327
Wha... uh, what,
what is she doing here?
235
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,563
We're back together.
236
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,430
Isn't it great?
237
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,966
I just couldn't handle
being out there again.
238
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,500
Some guy trying
to impress you.
239
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,035
"Here's my giant house."
240
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:22,736
"Here's my fancy car."
241
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:23,871
"We're already in Nevada,
242
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,939
we might as well
make it a weekend."
243
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,543
We're together
now, though.
244
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,044
(chuckles)
245
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,981
So... what's the big news?
246
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:37,585
Oh... it's...
nothing, really.
247
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,920
Come on,
you said you had huge news.
248
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:43,591
No, it's, it's no big deal,
it's just...
249
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,929
Yeah, maybe a little.
250
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,230
What?
251
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,531
No, no.
252
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:52,733
Pay attention.
253
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,802
You and me...
254
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,173
Well, I'm flattered, but I told
you we're back together.
255
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,244
Christine, would you
like some champagne?
256
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,479
No, I can't.
257
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,548
Even though I
love champagne.
258
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:11,218
And I'm not on antibiotics
right now.
259
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:15,122
I can't.
260
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,423
Oh, g...
261
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,592
I'm getting out of here.
262
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,328
What was that
all about?
263
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,297
Christine feels fat.
264
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,333
Yeah, maybe a little.
265
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,470
(sighs)
266
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,873
Oh, my boobs are
about to explode.
267
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:36,076
And... good day to you.
268
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,480
Matthew, did you open this
pregnancy test?
269
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,015
One of the sticks is missing.
270
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,117
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I wanted to try it.
271
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,787
Oh, and by the way,
272
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,522
you don't use it
like a thermometer.
273
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,224
All right, listen, Matthew,
274
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,827
you know, I am going
through kind of a thing here,
275
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,929
and I could really use
a little support.
276
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,798
I'm sorry; I'm sure
it'll be fine.
277
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,132
You might not even
be pregnant.
278
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,668
Yeah, well,
I better be pregnant,
279
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,170
'cause I just felt
something kick.
280
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,437
I'll go boil the water
281
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,906
and get some hot rags.
Yeah.
282
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,943
(knocking on door)
283
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,016
(sighs)
284
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,084
Hey.
285
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,652
Oh, Daniel.
286
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,654
I hope it's okay that
I just dropped by.
287
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:21,689
Can I come in?
288
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,323
Oh, yeah, sure, come on in.
289
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:32,399
Sorry, uh,
this place is kind of a mess.
290
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,235
If I'd known you were coming
I probably would have...
291
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,938
moved.
292
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,007
So listen,
I got some good news.
293
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,975
Oh, great, I could use some
good news.
294
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,977
I got a job offer
at another school.
295
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,680
Which means I won't be your
son's teacher anymore.
296
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:47,915
Which means,
297
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,649
if you're still interested,
298
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,885
I would love to go out
with you.
299
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,889
Oh, come on!
300
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,494
You and I can
finally go out.
301
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,963
And I was thinking
for our first date,
302
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,531
we can go to this
Italian place I know.
303
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,933
And I know you like pizza,
304
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,835
'cause I saw some
on your floor over there.
305
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,272
So what do you think about us?
306
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,175
Uh, I'm not really sure
307
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:19,246
what I'm doing right now,
so can I get back to you?
308
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,114
Oh, okay.
309
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,750
Can I ask, is there
someone else?
310
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,853
That's the question
we're all asking.
311
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,488
Okay.
312
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,157
I feel like an idiot.
313
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,425
I came over here assuming
you felt the same way about me
314
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,660
as I feel about you.
315
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,829
But obviously,
something's changed.
316
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,398
I've just had a really bad day
317
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,802
that could turn into
several really bad years...
318
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:49,076
...and I just need a little bit
of time to figure things out.
319
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,710
Can you give me a little time?
320
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,480
Sure.
321
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,048
Okay. Yeah.
322
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,984
Great.
Well, I'll call you tomorrow.
323
00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:00,720
Or in, uh, 18 years.
324
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,092
Are you believing this?
325
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,060
I mean, my timing
could not be worse.
326
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:10,297
I am days away
from giving birth,
327
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,933
and the man of my dreams
comes over
328
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,735
and practically
throws himself at me.
329
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,005
You know, no one
ever talks about it,
330
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:22,042
but I guess there is a downside
to having unprotected sex.
331
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,913
Barb, what am I gonna do?
332
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,415
I mean, I've been waiting
all year to be with him,
333
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:32,285
and being pregnant isn't exactly
a turn-on for most guys.
334
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,787
Oh. Hey, wait.
335
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,422
What if I sleep with Daniel
real fast
336
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:39,592
and then I tell him
that the baby is his?!
337
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,693
Really?
338
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,162
You... You can't think of
339
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,198
a single problem
with that plan?
340
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,238
Are you wearing
your pregnancy jeans?
341
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,506
I actually never stopped
wearing them.
342
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,947
You're pregnant?!
343
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,116
You just figured that out?
344
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,319
You're terrible at charades.
345
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,787
I am great at charades.
346
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,056
Shakespeare.
347
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:09,722
Musical.
348
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,258
Proper name.
349
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:14,527
I think you got me pregnant,
you irresponsible goon.
350
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,997
Hey, it's not all my fault.
351
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,365
You were right there with me.
352
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,034
Actually, I was about
ten minutes behind you.
353
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,371
That's nice,
mother of my children.
354
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,273
Yeah, you know what?
Guys, guys.
355
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,041
We don't even know
if she's pregnant yet.
356
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,309
Let's just take the test,
357
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,844
and we'll figure it out
from there.
358
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,712
You haven't even
taken the test yet?
359
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,414
What are you doing to me?!
360
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,516
I can't take it yet,
Richard, okay?
361
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:40,120
I have to wait for
my first morning's urine.
362
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,955
But I know my body, all right?
363
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,490
I had two Reubens today.
364
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,491
What does that tell you?
365
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,392
You're a pig.
366
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,693
Oh, nice.
367
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,562
Real nice,
father of my children.
368
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,631
I'm sorry. Okay.
369
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,600
I'm not mad at you.
370
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,468
I just can't believe this.
371
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,005
New Christine and I
just got back together.
372
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,472
If you're pregnant,
373
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,909
she's probably gonna find out
we slept together.
374
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,651
Yeah, well, if I can't convince
Daniel that this baby is his,
375
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,922
I have no shot with him!
376
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,829
You two shouldn't be allowed
to have children.
377
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,364
I can't believe
378
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,866
I traded a meaningful
relationship with someone I love
379
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,501
for 20 minutes
of dirty fun with you.
380
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,337
Yeah, well,
how do you think I feel?
381
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:34,007
I traded it for 10 minutes
of dirty fun.
382
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,243
So we can't find out
until tomorrow morning?
383
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,677
What are we gonna do until then?
384
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:38,678
I don't know.
385
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,080
Something mindless.
386
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:43,083
Something that'll distract us.
387
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,454
Hey!
388
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,555
Stop that!
389
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,557
You get off her!
390
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,427
See? This is good.
391
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,495
We're out of the house.
392
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,565
We can think about
something else.
393
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,943
So, the first
morning's urine...
394
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,614
is that after midnight
395
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,816
or do you have to wait
until morning?
396
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:17,850
I don't know.
397
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,288
I think the sun has to be up.
398
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,456
That doesn't make any sense.
What if you work a night job?
399
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,125
All right, I don't know,
Richard, okay?
400
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,359
I don't make the rules!
401
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,660
Well, I just...
Guys, guys.
402
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,862
We said we weren't
gonna talk about it.
403
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,964
Okay, sorry.
404
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,466
Sorry.
405
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,237
Hey.
406
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:41,041
I found that cat
I thought I lost.
407
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,118
It was under the bed.
408
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,991
Not my bed, the guest bed.
409
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,995
It's the only room with carpet.
410
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,066
Cats love carpet.
411
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,041
And milk.
412
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,676
What else do cats like?
413
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,011
Let's go around the table.
414
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,247
Oh, I can't believe
I might be pregnant!
415
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,648
Yeah, we're
so stupid!
416
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,716
Oh, God, I thought
I was done with this.
417
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,052
Now I got to worry about
418
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,653
3:00 a.m. feedings
and changing diapers.
419
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,289
We finally had our lives
separate, in a good way.
420
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,857
Then we go and screw it up.
421
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:31,924
We screw everything up.
422
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,893
I know. We are such screwups.
423
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,628
Why does this keep
happening to us?
424
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,497
Hey, what the hell
is wrong with you two?
425
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,931
So you might be
having another kid.
426
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,467
Big deal.
427
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:44,471
Making babies is the only thing
that you two do well.
428
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,139
Now, let's focus
429
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,542
and come up with some things
that cats like.
430
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,455
Christine,
you all right up there?
431
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,023
CHRISTINE:
Stop talking to me.
432
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:07,026
I can't go when people
are talking to me.
433
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,929
Or listening to me.
434
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,164
We're not.
435
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,600
You're talking to me!
436
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,035
Shut up and pee.
437
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,372
This is torture.
438
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,408
Just calm down.
You'll know in a minute.
439
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,810
Actually, I kind of hope
Christine has a baby.
440
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,278
I think it might be fun.
441
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,680
That's easy for you to say;
you don't have to live here.
442
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,516
All the late nights,
crying and screaming--
443
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,718
the baby's only gonna
make that worse.
444
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,424
Okay, I did it.
445
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,927
And it's only wet
because I washed my hands.
446
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,562
Is that true?
447
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,232
No.
448
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,402
So what is it?
449
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,404
I don't know.
I haven't looked yet.
450
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,740
But, listen,
no matter what happens,
451
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:54,741
we're gonna be fine, right?
452
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,075
Yeah.
Yeah.
453
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,944
Yeah, we did it before,
we can do it again.
454
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,179
Yeah.
We're just a little older.
455
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,513
Mmm, yeah.
456
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,649
When the baby graduates
high school, we'll be...
457
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,151
Dead.
458
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,955
Just trying
to lighten the mood.
459
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,490
Come on, come
on, look.
460
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:11,958
(sighs)
461
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,627
Okay, here goes.
462
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,097
(gasps)
463
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,099
I'm pregnant.
464
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:26,839
Wow.
465
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:27,874
Okay.
466
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,810
We're gonna be
parents again.
467
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,579
Yeah.
Good.
468
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,680
Good.
469
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:34,914
This is good.
470
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,817
Yeah, we'll co-parent
from different houses.
471
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:40,787
It works with Ritchie,
it'll work for the twins.
472
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,857
No... I know my body.
473
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,892
It's twins.
474
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,861
This is gonna
be great.
475
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,697
Wait, there's
only one line.
476
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,731
Yeah, pregnant.
477
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,202
Well, when I took it,
I got one line, too.
478
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:05,845
So, I mean, either
we're both pregnant...
479
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:06,846
or you're wrong.
480
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,081
Wait a minute.
481
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,783
One line...
oh, "not pregnant."
482
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:11,751
I'm not pregnant!
483
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,919
Oh, thank God!
484
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,920
(screaming)
485
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,855
Thank God!
Oh, my God!
486
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,957
I mean, it would've been
okay either way, but...
487
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,125
Oh, thank God!
488
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,060
Thank God!
489
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,695
Oh, wow!
490
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,564
I guess I just had
really bad PMS.
491
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,332
Really bad.
492
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,399
Historically bad.
493
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:27,934
I've never seen
it that bad.
494
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,101
CHRISTINE:
All right.
495
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,737
All right, you know what?
Get out.
496
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,239
You're all bugging me.
497
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,940
I'm gonna go over
to New Christine's,
498
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,943
but first, I'm gonna
stop and buy some condoms.
499
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,312
Eh, she's probably on something.
500
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,550
Oh, I got to go, too.
501
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,017
Where? It's 7:00
in the morning.
502
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:48,555
There's something I have to do.
503
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,357
So, after we added a room
onto the guest house,
504
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:51,824
we realized it was bigger
than our main house.
505
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,793
So now we're just moving
into the guest house.
506
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,895
What are you gonna do
with the main house?
507
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,264
You mean the house in Maine?
508
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,232
I didn't know you had
a house in Maine.
509
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,733
Well, I don't
tell you everything.
510
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,637
Ah, look what the
cat dragged in.
511
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,240
If my cat dragged that in,
I'd put them both to sleep.
512
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,608
(women chuckle)
513
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,876
Screw...
514
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,211
you.
515
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,951
Morning.
516
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,186
Mrs. Campbell.
517
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,788
What are you doing here?
518
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:25,625
Well, um... I've been
thinking about our date.
519
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,427
In fact, it's all
I've been thinking about
520
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:28,961
for the last six months.
521
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,498
And if you still want
to go out with me,
522
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,835
I would... I would very much
like to go out with you.
523
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,604
Really?
524
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,439
Oh, yeah.
525
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,820
How 'bout that?
526
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,222
Pretty good, huh?
527
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,490
Yeah.
528
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,258
(chuckles):
Really good.
529
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:00,693
Should we ask them
what they thought?
530
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:06,899
(clears throat)
531
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,636
So, um, Mr. Harris, you just,
532
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,104
you let me know what
you would like to do then.
533
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,172
Okay.
All right.
534
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,040
And, um...
535
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,241
(clears throat)
536
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:19,211
Everyone... you have
a super summer.
537
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,047
Uh-oh.
(chuckles)
538
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,315
Yeah.
539
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:25,685
(laughing):
Can't... get out of here.
36615
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